


The Devil you know

by Finnlay, Nausi



Series: Change the Game [1]
Category: Marvel (Comics), X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Alcohol, All New Wolverine - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amputation, Asexuality Spectrum, BDSM, Bisexuality, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Development, Character Study, Depression, Drugs, Dubious Consent, Earth-4214, Eating Disorders, Eventual Romance, Explicit Sexual Content, FIx It, Iceman 2017, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Kidnapping, M/M, Medical Procedures, Mental Health Issues, Murder, Past Conditioning, Past Grooming, Past Sexual Abuse, Pheromones, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Romance, Self-Harm, Sexual Assault, Sibling Bonding, Slow Burn, Substance Abuse, Therapy, Torture, Trans Character, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, past abusive relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-03-04 09:27:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 59
Words: 281,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13361640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Finnlay/pseuds/Finnlay, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nausi/pseuds/Nausi
Summary: The strings have been cut but Daken can still feel the tug of them on his soul. The shadow of it all, of everything that has been done to him lingers. Time does not stop simply because one has rounded a corner. Daken will have to face the fear of being controlled again. All the while Bobby Drake is struggling with himself. The act of Coming Out is not the end of a journey but the start. For Bobby it feels as though many of his closest friends stopped understanding him as soon as he no longer pretended to be something he is not. Fate has brought these two souls into each others orbit. What will the outcome be?[Fix it for Iceman (2017) by Sina Grace.]Further Warnings before every Chapter!





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the beginning of the end and Daken knows it. That doesn't mean he can stop it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter specific warnings can be found in the notes for each upcoming chapter.**
> 
> **Additional Tags:** Implied Past Child Abuse, Alcohol Mention
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

“What are you doing to yourself?”

Daken sat the tumbler down with a soft thud of glass on wood and then pushed both of his hands through his hair. The taste of bourbon lingered on his tongue. Not for the first time Daken wished that drinking actually did something for him but it was just a habit. For a while, when he had lost his healing factor, it had been his go to coping mechanism and the act still had a soothing effect. Even without the actual buzz of getting drunk.

He looked up and his eyes were drawn to the mirror across from where he sat on his bed. A pair of blue eyes stared back at him from the reflection. There seemed to be something in them that felt almost like an accusation. As if a part of himself was judging him. Perhaps that was true. It seemed to be a reoccurring theme these days.

And yet, Daken continued down the same path without hesitation every single time.

No one had ever taught him how to take self reflection and work with it. All Daken knew, all he had learned, was to keep going until he either had whatever it was he wanted or died trying to get it. Both of these things had happened and both of them would continue to happen. From the moment he was born, and despite dying twice, he had been stuck in the same endless loop. The concept of learning from a mistake was familiar to him but that did not imply he was genuinely capable of doing so.

American’s had this saying, ‘ _You can't teach an old dog new tricks_ ’ and despite what his looks made people believe, Daken knew that technically he was old. Seventy two was the kind of age where normal people were near their death. His home country had a similar proverb too and Daken did not doubt that other places did as well. In the end, humans were all the same. No matter the skin color, religious beliefs or whatever else they liked to use to put themselves apart from others.

Humans as a whole had always fascinated him. They were such peculiar beings. In theory, humans were capable of learning their entire lives and yet only a few did. Change required effort and the older one became, the longer a habit existed, the harder it was to change. It was only when something so big, so earth shattering, happened that change was inevitable that the average person put up any effort to work on themselves.

Daken liked to think of himself as anything but average. And yet, he was just as guilty of failing to change as everyone else. And his justification for it was as plain as every other. Change took effort, effort that Daken told himself he did not have the time for. There was enough to worry about. He did not need the extra layer of stress from trying to ‘ _be a better person’._ Whatever that even meant.

The world as a whole saw Wolverine as a hero. A good person. Blood soaked hands, a history of torture, of abuse and violence. A man who had made the deliberate choice to drown his own son in some muddy puddle in an unfair fight. That was the kind of person people looked at and called a hero.

Daken would rather die the same way all over than ever be anything like his biological Father.

What was the point of being ‘good’ if someone like that was considered good? The difference between good and bad was only ever an illusion. A matter of the viewpoint of each and every individual. A concept that people had build up so that they might sleep better at night.

Good meant nothing. Bad meant nothing. Morals meant nothing. Perspective meant everything.

Daken had no interest in changing. But he did have a reason to manipulate the perspective on his actions. Two reasons in fact.

Shaking his head at himself he pushed off the bed. Contemplating the futility of change would do nothing. It was wasted effort and time. Pushing the thoughts aside Daken opened his closet and pulled a thick blanket out which he carried back into the open living room area. There was pair of sleeping girls curled up on his couch. The reasons he was at least putting in the effort to be viewed as less _bad_.

Laura had started to come and go as she pleased. She would drop by his apartment at whatever time she felt like it with no warning and no care for inconvenience. Daken had a feeling that she was even looking to be inconvenient to him. Test how much he would put up with. Or maybe keep him from doing certain things by leaving the possibility of her coming and going open.

Daken was still not entirely sure how it happened that they ended _bonding_. Somewhere along the road they had ended up on after Logan’s death, it just happened. Maybe he had been lost the moment she turned back to save him. Maybe it was when Laura jumped out of the plane after him. Maybe all of it. Maybe none of it. Daken just knew that he _cared_ about Laura. And that in itself was inconvenient.

And now Laura came with an additional complication. Gabrielle. Gabby. Another clone. Another one of Weapon X’s experiments. Daken had met her but today had been the first time Laura brought the young girl along for a visit. It seemed that somehow, maybe, Daken had gained his sisters _trust_.

A foolish decision made by a foolish girl. Laura was softer, sweeter even, than Daken had initially judged her to be. So young too. Younger than she liked to make people believe. And Laura was one of these rare human beings that used their ability to learn, adapt and change.

It would likely cut her life shorter than it should, but perhaps that would make Laura the one family member who did not end up over a hundred years old and bitter about it. Perhaps Laura would be the one to find something which resembled happiness.

Soundlessly Daken spread a thick blanket out over his two sleeping siblings, covering them and making sure they would be comfortable. As comfortable as anyone could be sleeping on the couch. Moving either of them into the guest bedroom would likely end with claws embedded in some part of his body. Laura shifted just from the touch of the blanket. To his surprise she didn’t open her eyes though. Another sign of trust which Daken was not sure what to do with.

“Stupid girl.” He whispered it before pulling away and closing the bedroom door behind himself once more.

It was early evening here in Los Angeles and normally Laura would not have passed out on his couch like that but it seemed the two girls had been up to quite some mischief in space. Something about an alien race called ‘ _the brood’_ which sounded like science fiction meeting bad horror tropes. Daken had not asked too many questions because he suspected that knowing more would only increase the urge to keep Laura and Gabby locked up somewhere safe. Permanently.

Kicking off his shoes he nudged them to the side and then pulled his shirt off too. It was always a good idea to make people wait a little on him. That kid from the other day would be even more anxious for reassurance, subtle compliments and paternal vibes. It was almost too easy to get what he wanted.

Pouring himself a glass of red wine Daken settled on the bed and just took a little sip. That boy, Zachary, would be waiting on him but Daken could not say he cared. It was all just a setup either way. The moment Daken had realized that the seed was still festering inside him and that he had no idea how to get it out, he had started research.

Research that ultimately kept leading him back to the X-men. It appeared that everyone and their pet hamster had been ‘Death’ at some point. Above all that pretentious rich boy Angel. But also Gambit, Psylocke and – low and behold, _his Father._

It appeared the best source of knowledge on how to handle having been a Horsemen was the X-men. Needless to say that Daken had no interest in getting himself involved with that team. There was no doubt in his mind that none of them would ever help him. Whatever they knew about him had to have come from his Father. A Father who called him a monster and drowned him in a puddle.

The X-men would not help. But during his research into the matter Daken had noticed another victim of the Death Seed was among them. Iceman. Daken actually remembered being in Europe when the world turned into a winter wonderland out of nowhere. That had been Iceman. A power up like that was quite interesting but it was not that which had gotten his attention.

It was reading about a young Mutant that Iceman had recently picked up. The power of that boy was what Daken was interested in. If he could train him, guide him, maybe that would be the ticket to _not_ becoming a pawn once more. If Daken took control of the seed before the seed took control of him, the problem would be more or less solved.

Daken filled his glass once more before he pulled the laptop over and opened it, logging into the messenger. A Discord server meant to be a place for young Mutants to share experiences. As if. This place was nothing but a hunting ground. For creeps and for mutant haters alike. And him.

Daken had no interest in any of the things the other predators in the chat room were looking for. In fact, he would have preferred luring them in. Set up some quiet meeting place after letting them believe he was some naive young teenager, and then kindly remove them from the face of earth. That was not something that he had time to be doing though. Not right now. Not when this _thing_ inside him was becoming an increasingly bigger problem.

Zman2000: what is even the point of literature class? just a bunch of stories about stupid normies and their stupid feelings

The message came only a handful of seconds after he signed in. Daken almost chuckled but the sound died in his throat. In the past two months he had found himself less and less capable of feeling anything. In theory that sounded wonderful. In reality it was anything but.

> **Winelover:** Miss Summers give you too much homework again? A smart young man like you should not turn up his nose at literature. Books are works of art.
> 
> **Zman2000:** maybe when they’re written by my people I’ll have time for them
> 
> **Winelover:** I would suggest that you pick up “Born normal” by Jean-Paul Beaubier in that case. It is a well written book. A must read for young Mutants, I would say.
> 
> **Zman2000:** Yeah? I’ll check it out

Daken paused for a moment and swirled the wine in his glass. That response sounded dismissive. This boy would end up being a real pain in the ass but Daken did not have the luxury of choosing. There weren’t any other options at this point.

> **Winelover:** Ah, let me guess … that is the book you are reading in class? It’s fine. Who needs education anyway. It is not as if the chance of getting one is a privilege all in itself. Regardless, how are things at the school besides boring literature class? Your math teacher still giving you a hard time?

The other youths continued to chat and for the most part left them alone. Days ago it had become clear that 'Winelover' and Zman had no interest in anything but each other once they started chatting. He watched the text scroll as he waited for his mark's reply. 

> **Zman2000:** ALWAYS guy is a real pain  
>  like he’s trying to live up to something

Daken leaned over and poured himself a glass of wine before he opened a private chat window. It was time to go from casual chat to focusing his attention on the boy.

> **Winelover:** Don’t blame the guy. I heard rumors that he just came out of the closet, of course he has something to prove. Letting that out on students is rather annoying though.
> 
> **Zman2000:** I think it’s got a lot more to do with this Cyclops guy everyone talks about  
>  I heard about him in the news some  
>  but I guess he was the math teacher here before?
> 
> **Winelover:** Cyclops was the leader of the X-Men for a very long time. I believe he and your teacher used to be close like family. Your family is important to you too, no?
> 
> **Zman2000:** It’s complicated
> 
> **Winelover:** Ah, this is not an unusual reaction. I had my own differences with my Father. Many differences.
> 
> **Zman2000:** parents just don’t get it. It’s like something breaks in them when they have kids
> 
> **Winelover:** There are _some_ good parents but I only hear of them as a kind of rumor. So you don't have anyone to teach you about life? A school is just a school. Life is something else.
> 
> **Zman2000:** I am done with this school  
>  It’s a holding cell  
>  I wanna get out and start living
> 
> **Winelover:** Zach, would you like to see the world from a new perspective? I could show you real life. A man like you with a gift like yours? You could be a king among all the ants and roaches.
> 
> **Zman2000:** yeah? you think so?  
>  I like the sound of it.

Daken paused. This was it. That was what he had been working on for about three weeks now. This boy trusted him. A wash of guilt made him set down the glass and forced him to take deep breaths. He had no other choice. Everything else he had looked into, that he had tried, didn’t work. And the X-men would never help him. To them he was just Wolverine’s bastard son.

> **Winelover:** Can you get out of the school? Tomorrow, around noon. I’ll pick you up if you want.
> 
> **Zman2000:** yeah I can get out  
>  how far down the road do I need to make it?
> 
> **Winelover:** Leave the school grounds, that will be enough. I’ll find you. I have my ways.
> 
> **Zman2000:** You got it man
> 
> **Winelover:** I’ll see you tomorrow, Zach. Don’t get yourself into trouble now.

Shutting the laptop he got off the bed and opened his window. The cool air was welcome but Daken was just trying not to wake Laura with the scent of smoke as he lit a cigarette. Things were falling into place but there was this nagging feeling of _wrong_ in the pit of his stomach.

_What am I doing do myself?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Winelover](https://78.media.tumblr.com/c97fb66dcd137bd3dc57622b7427ab76/tumblr_p7cv8nhMcm1wlxmu8o1_1280.png)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zachary always wanted to experience a different life. He might have signed up for more than he can handle though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Child Abuse, Minor Violence
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

It was easy. Mostly because no one noticed him. Drake sort of did, but it wasn’t so hard to find a moment when Drake was distracted to sneak past everyone else. Part of him felt a little bad. 

It wasn’t as though no one had tried, it wasn’t as though he hadn’t made any friends. It was just that he knew better. No matter what, it was all just going to be the way it had been. It was always going to come back to the fact that he was the only one that cared about him. He was the only one that was going to look out for himself, and he had to get out from under other people’s thumbs. 

This guy he’d been talking to, he was another adult, but in a one on one situation where Zach had something the other person wanted? In that kind of scenario, Zach felt pretty sure he was equal to representing his own interests.

So it was out onto the open road with him. Zach had done his best to only pack what he thought he would need. It was difficult to leave behind the clothes they’d bought for him, the games, and posters. It was like leaving behind a small part of himself. 

All he did take was his phone, four pairs of underwear, two pairs of pants, and two shirts. Plus what he had on. It would have to be enough. _Well and there is the two hundred dollars I stole out of Pryde’s room. Stuffy bitch._

The sun was shining down from the sky and Zach had to fight the urge to take off coat. Even as he walked in the shadows cast by the trees. He knew that if he took it off it would make him easier to grab with it tied around his waist. 

Zach moved through the park, trying to look like he wasn’t running away. _No one there will miss me, not really. They’ll be sorry. Mom will too. Everyone is going to be sorry they put me last and treated me like I didn’t matter. All those bigots back home, Everyone who ever sneered at me, all of them. In a year they’ll be wishing that they’d been kind to me!_

With the pocket change he had, Zach bought himself a hotdog from one of the stands. A kid that was running away from the mutant school wouldn’t be stopping for a bite. This was what he needed, cover, time, and something to keep his mind off of the fact that ‘Winelover’ might be standing him up. _What a stupid handle. If he didn’t know some of the things he knew … if the other’s hadn’t reacted to him like that … It could be that this is all some big joke._

Zach looked around and then scrubbed his hands on the front of his pants. When he was sure he didn’t see anyone watching him he sat down on one of the park benches. ‘Winelover’ had just said to leave the school, not to get far away, and he hadn’t said anything about where to meet. It was noon, it was time. He looked down at his phone and hoped to see a message, even it it was just a _we got you idiot_. 

"Looking a little lost there, kid. Waiting for someone?" 

With a startled gasp Zach turned to face the speaker. This was not what he had expected. The suave man standing behind the park bench was dressed in a suit, a nice suit, the sort of suit one might see Robert Downey Jr. wear sneakers with. There were shades, a fancy watch, a mohawk, and the general air of someone who knew they were better than everyone around them. 

Zach swallowed and wondered if this could possibly be his guy. As desperate as he was to find ‘Winelover’ he wasn’t willing roll over. _Besides, who says this guy is it anyway?_

“Yeah? And you look overdressed for a stroll in the park. Are you here to pick up stupid kids?” Zach sneared and tried not to look nervous as the wind shifted. He was aware that this guy was a mutant, he could feel the power, but he wasn’t anyone from the school. _Maybe it’s him …_

"No. I am here to pick up a very smart young man. Who does not enjoy literature but has a good sense of humor." Daken’s voice was coated in honey. There was no chance that this interaction would not go his way and he knew it, but that didn’t stop him from being pleased with it.

Zach’s eyes went big and he swallowed his surprise with some difficulty. Suddenly he felt like a fool. It was embarrassing to him that he had ever doubted the identity of his gracious benefactor. He stood up quickly, turned to face Daken, and held out his hand across the bench which stood between them, “You must be _Winelover_ , I’m Zman but uh … I just go by Zach.”

Daken reached out and took the boys hand. Brown eyes, sunkissed skin and an obviously mixed heritage. Somehow Daken had imagined some bratty white kid. Not someone who might have a similar background to him. "Daken. The name is Daken."

The regal bearing didn’t get old, it didn’t wear in. Zach was still in awe. Not much had been said but he felt like he already learned a lot about this man. Or he knew just the right things. Their hands parted and he bit his bottom lip nervously, “So … this is really, really happening.”

"If you want it to." Daken looked the young boy over and then added, "I am not into the kidnapping business. Never been my flavor of crime."

 _What is your flavor?_ “I want it.” Even with his questions Zach had no doubts. He needed to get out of that place. He had to prove them all, every single one of them, wrong. “Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

If he had imagined his first big adventure a flight would have been on the list. That or an epic road trip. This wasn’t that, it wasn’t that at all. They hadn’t even gone that far. Nothing was going the way he expected but there wasn’t really time to think about it, not really. Though they hadn’t left the incredibly expensive hotel room for much they also hadn’t wanted for anything. 

Zach had never had real sushi before. He was surprised by how much he liked it, and by all the little tricks to eating it. Daken showed him which sorts of fish needed wasabi, and how to hold his chopsticks. Food wasn’t everything, the beds were stupidly comfortable. Zach had never touched anything so perfect, he’d never slept so well. The suit they were in had a hot tub, and a huge tv and a pool table. They watched a few movies, but Daken seemed rather bored with them and tended to talk, tended to ask a lot of questions. 

_No one has ever cared like this. How did he find me? How did he pick me out?_ Zach looked down at his phone, at the pictures he’d taken over the last week. _My old life doesn’t even come close to this. Nothing in my life comes close. This is what I deserve. This is what I was always meant for. The finer things in life. Comfort, sophistication, indulgence._

“I don’t really have any family.” He answered easily with a shrug. “My mom wasn’t all that interested to start with, I’ve always been trouble. Then being a mutant … well let’s just say she was happy to pay nothing to make her little disgrace go away.”

“Your mother kept you around though. Don’t underestimate that. It is more than other children can say.” Daken looked over and then sighed, “Put the phone away. I’ll get you a new one, this one could be tracked and you wouldn’t want the X-men after you.”

That was true, he knew it was true. “Yeah, you assume that they want me.” Zach shook his head. He put the phone away, back in his pocket, but he wasn’t really sure he wanted to give it up. _Have they even noticed I’m gone?_ Zach sighed. _I doubt it._

“Heroes have a bad habit of claiming things as theirs. Including people.” Getting off the couch he cocked his head, “Now come on, it’s time to go shopping. You need to look the part tonight on that party.”

“Shopping? You’re going to spend more money on me?” It was impossible to tell how much any of this cost, and they hadn’t even come close to talking about his gift or what Daken actually wanted from him. 

“It’s just money. I have enough to be a little overindulgent.” Daken shrugged, “Shopping first, training after. And tonight I’ll take you out for a taste of the high society.”

* * *

Daken stood on the little stool and watched the young woman measuring him. She was pretty. Dark hair, honey colored eyes and a beautifully rich skin tone. Daken could recognize her beauty but he was not feeling _anything_. No charming words would come to his mind and try as he might, he could not even force himself to do idle chatter.

Unlike Zachary. The young boy was over the top excited and giddy to be here. To be treated like royalty. A small part of him found it almost adoring but that cold apathy was overwhelming anything else.

It was impossible for the two of them to comprehend each other. Zach was pracing about looking at coats and shirts and what looked like garter belts for socks. _My socks do fall down, wow rich people have a fix for that this is freaking crazy. I just put hot glue on inside backs of my socks like I saw on Buzzfeed once._ It was easy to imagine someone like Dany Rand shopping here. _I could be cool like him, smart, and run a company like Tony Stark. Painfully sexy!_ He did a twirl and pulled out his phone. _This is going to be so lit!_

“What up, dubya dubya dubya! Your boy Zach here, and I’m LOVING my new haircut. Gotta look fly for my last night in Manhattan.” He was starting to feel like he was in some sort of reality TV show, a makeover show, or something. The teal coat he was wearing made him feel like a million bucks, and the shinny pocket watch took it all to a new level. _Everyone is going to be so jealous, everyone!_ Zach switched up his stance and affected his best _casually sexy_ face, “My hommie’s getting me in some CUSTOM threads and is gonna take me to the dopest spot in all of NYC. **GREENWICH MEAN TIME!** For real I heard Tony Stark goes there when he wants to feel fancy.” _Tony freaking Stark! Ha!_ After another whirl and pose change he continued without a care in the world, “Special shout out to my main man for hooking it up show the webs some love Da --”

Daken was down from the stool in the blink of an eyes and interrupted Zach, slapping the phone out of the boy’s hand. The very last thing that either of them needed was his name publicly associated with Zach. All of this was messy enough already. Not only did it startle him but it shook him. This was the first time Daken had been anything but suave and charming. There was something else there, something lurking. There was a strange sickening feeling in his stomach that he didn’t want to believe. _What is that?_

He swallowed thickly, “Yo what gives you made me drop my phone?” “What did I tell you about that?” His voice was low and sharp in tone. Daken felt the anger and he was almost relieved to feel anything at all. At the same time there was the nagging thought that being angry with a teenager was not right. Not like this. 

Though Zach had the sinking sensation that this was the wrong thing to say he kept speaking, kept trying to return to the old script, “I know but I couldn’t wait for a new one, I’m never in Ritzy spots like this.”

“Ow!” This was the last thing he had expected. Daken had his hands on him. 

“If you think taking videos of a store is interesting than you're beyond my help.” 

“No! No! Please!” _Is this is? Is this where it ends? Was that the entire … what that everything?_ Zach felt his breath coming fast as Daken continued to push him, _Oh shit this can’t be game over, it can’t be!_

Daken pushed the boy towards the exit, “Move, we are done here.”

The pleading rang in his ears and there was a foul taste on the back of his tongue. Zach was barely a teenager. Too young to know better. He had grown up relatively sheltered from the harsh reality of life, as much as the boy liked to say otherwise. 

“Look let me get my phone! I can’t just leave it there, my …” Zach turned red and scrambled for something to say and then just said the truth, “My nudes are on it!”

The words stopped him in his tracks and Daken could not bite back a groan. Was this what teenagers did these days? Really? Maybe he was not treating Zach all that wrong after all.

“Get in the car. I am taking your phone.”

He was too afraid to disobey. Zach got into the car and put on his seatbelt. It was only afterwards that he looked up and saw that Daken was going back after his phone. _Will it post? I think I’ve got it set to auto post … It didn’t sound like he was going to give it back he said he was ‘taking’ it._ Zach swallowed and shivered. _What is that feeling, that bitter cold and hot acidic taste?_

Daken only sat down in the car after he had a moment to breathe and calm down. Anger was not going to do anyone any good. He needed Zach willing to cooperate. With every passing day it felt like the noose around his neck was tightening further.

"Look, kid - I am not going to hurt you okay? I just can't have you say my name in some video you will be posting on the internet. You are going to bring more than just the X-men down on both of us if you do that."

After a moment of silence Zach asked in a small voice, “You were protecting us?”

Daken looked at the boy for a long moment and then reached out, ruffling that messy black hair. “Yeah, I was. I have to look out for you now, Zach.”

 _I was being stupid. This is just what happens when you’re stupid_. Zach nodded and soaked up the affection. The tension was gone, everything was fine. “Are you hungry?”

“Yes, let’s go home. We can order something. I want to train you a little before tonight, so you won’t short out the energy of the place without intending to.”

That was exciting. Zach smiled and gave Daken a wink. “Hey, it’s your boy Zach. I’m here to make the evening to long and strong, nothing’s gonna be short around me.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby finds himself faced with the past and a rather annoying, although charming, villain. And Daken would just like it to be known that stupid people are the reason why he wants to watch the world burn.
> 
> [Covers Iceman 2017 #04]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Canon violence
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

New York was a strange patch work city. There were _‘bad’_ parts of town nestled right up next to some of the highest rise neighborhoods. Greenwich village was sort of a microcosm for the whole thing. It was old and the buildings were impressive, but there were places here that weren’t really safe. Bobby got out of the cab he’d taken into town and tipped the driver. 

There it was Mean Time. It was not the sort of place he would have ever considered going to for pleasure. He never wanted for anything but he wasn’t filthy rich and it had been a long time since he’d gone to functions with Warren. This place looked to him like the sort of establishment the Hell Fire Club would have it’s tendrils running in. That wasn’t the only reason he was feeling off and anxious though. It had started fifteen blocks out. A feeling he hadn’t really been able to nail down. The sensation only got stronger and stronger too. Bobby was still trying to sort it out as he walked around towards the alley way.

 _What is this pit I’m staring into? It’s dark and full of fear._ Bobby paused and took several deep breaths. The feeling reminded him a lot of how things had been when the death seed had started to bloom inside of him after his run in with Dark Beast in the Age of Apocalypse. He’d been acting on fear, acting to protect himself. The issue was that the seed twisted everything. Rather than protecting himself from the evil destroying him and everything he loved, Bobby had ended up ‘protecting’ himself from ever feeling anything again. He’d said so many things he hadn’t meant, spouted lies, hurt people he cared about, failed to tell the one truth that might have made it all worth it, and struggled to put his life back together afterwards. _And yet I still didn’t come out. So many times it was on the tip of my tongue. I wanted to scream that no one knew me, not one of them, yet I turned in on myself …_

With a great deal of effort Bobby worked on recentering his mind and getting himself focused on the task at hand. It was difficult with the monster clawing about inside him but Bobby managed, at least enough to get himself moving again. He had a plan after all. 

Rapping on the door he smiled nervously.

“We don’t need anymore bartenders, Toni -” _What the hell is this? A white guy and a fancy as hell ice sculpture?_

“OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod.” Bobby shivered and clutched the beautiful thing to himself and gave the older man his best pitiful face. “Please hurry up and let me in, I’m already twenty minutes late and my boss will **MURDER** me if this sculpture starts melting on the crudites.” 

Though there had been no sympathy or give on the man’s face to begin with but it all changed as Bobby spoke. He was let in, accepted, and given directions.

“I hear you man, these people will sack you if your tie is a little crooked. Cut through the kitchen.” He pointed the way.

“You’re a legit lifesaver, thanks!” 

It was easy to move through the kitchen. Not a single chef was looking up at him. They were busy. So it was no problem for Bobby to dump his work of art in the trash on his way through. He affected a confidant air, the poise of someone who clearly belonged and wondered why he felt worse with things flowing just as he had planned. _What is going on here? Are they summoning a demon tonight?_

What an obscenely boring event. Daken sipped from his cup of tea and let his gaze wander through the crowd. Men in boring black suits, woman in colorful dresses with even more colorful makeup. The stink of too much perfume and aftershave. Small talk and the consistent attempts to one up each other. Daken watched the small group close by and wondered if any moment now someone would start pulling out photographs and go ‘ _my boat, my villa, my car’_.

This. This right here was why Daken considered most people far below himself. So what if these people didn’t have blood soaked hands? They also did not own a brain. At least not one they knew how to use. It was moments like these he wondered why he tended to stick to the upper class. These events were always filled with brain dead, obnoxious idiots who were only interested in having their egos stroked.

His gaze shifted across the crowd once more and Daken sighed when he found Zachary. The young teenager had surrounded himself with some beautiful women and was boasting about his ability. Zach was not _stupid_ but he was inexperienced. And absolutely starved for attention, validation and affection. Bringing him to this sort of environment allowed the boy to indulge and as annoyed as Daken was, he also couldn’t get himself to ruin the fun for the boy.

Raising the cup to his lips again he paused when a scent caught his attention. _Mutant. Adult._ Daken sat the cup down on the nearest surface and followed the scent. This could not be a good sign. Had the X-men already caught on to him borrowing one of their students?

There. Daken spotted the Mutant and it made him pause once more when he realized which one it was. Iceman. Robert Louis Drake. Perhaps he should have seen that coming but it still sat wrong with him. At the same time a small part of his mind demanded he use the opportunity to get information on the Death Seed.

“Hey Snowflake …” His voice was like velvet, soft and warm, “May I have this dance?”

As Bobby turned away from Zach, who was flirting shamelessly with a drink in hand, he was confronted with a sight that made him feel a wide variety of things. There was an instant desire to fight, to dominate, that was almost totally alien to him. Bobby couldn’t understand where it was coming from. He knew who Daken was but they’d never spoken before. Being called a pet name by a stranger bothered him but not enough to account for this gut pulling instinct to cut his head off. 

There were other feelings too, things he had repressed for a long time, or lied to himself about. Things he was embracing now that he was out and proud. Daken was a gorgeous man. Period full stop, no buts about it. He had eyes that sparkled and lips that looked entirely too kissable. There was a grace in him that was far more like Laura than Logan, and a sophistication that was unlike any of the other wolverines Bobby had met. 

Bobby had a sudden thought in a strange moment of clarity; Daken was _Bad Choices_ and _Daddy Issues_ dressed up in sex and power. 

Rather than find words he found himself in Daken’s arms, held close with a hand at the small of his back. Bobby didn’t know how to dance in this position but he did know how to follow and somehow it just fell together. He could feel how warm Daken was, and he could smell the lingering scent of the tea the other man had drank as their faces floated close, “Daken.”

Cinnamon. Daken breathed in deeply, getting familiar with the scent of his current dance partner. Cinnamon, aftershave and something that reminded him of a clear winter day and the smell in the morning after a night of rainfall. Between all the stink of _‘too much’_ from the rest of the party attendance, this was a welcome change.

“Why so tense?” They moved with surprising ease and sync to the sound of the music and Daken could almost taste the tension and the underlying want in the air. There was something between them. Something that Daken could not put a name to or explain but it was there.

The strange tug of war between opposing emotions continued inside him. Clearly this was the man responsible for abducting Zach, clearly there was some sort of nefarious plot. However many reasons Bobby had to be aggressive and adversarial there was a strange current running beneath all of it. A motivation that had nothing to do with Zach and everything to do with power. _He’s really actually very good looking, and charming. Shut up self!_ It was confusing to have so many disparate thoughts running through his head and though normally he wouldn’t have let his temper get away with him Bobby found he simply couldn’t hold it back. "I know what you're capable of."

“So?” Daken arched one brow, “I know what **you're** capable of, I saw how big you got with the Apocalypse seed in you – that's not stopping me from wanting to swing.” Their bodies were pressed close and Daken was wondering if he could keep Drake occupied long enough for Zachary to see them and get the hell out of here. Probably not. _I don’t have the time to deal with you. I am not going to fight some X-man and bring the whole gang down on me._

 _Are you trying to seduce me?_ Bobby couldn’t sense any strangeness, any sudden irresistible desire to make out. There was just the little tugging and the awareness that yes, Daken was in fact quite sexy. As a way to prove to himself and to Daken that no amount of charming was going to work on him Bobby said, " _You_ have my student." The words came out harsher than he’d meant them to, with more force and anger than he had imagined them.

"He wasn't yours to have. Kid's a free agent."Daken meant to say more but if he gave away that he had come to actually sort of care for the kid – well, he could not have that. He had a reputation to keep.

It struck him as important to note that Daken didn’t call Zach by name. He called him _Agent_ like he was a piece in a business transaction. Bobby frowned and wondered to himself, _Laura is this the guy you say you’ve got hope and trust in? All I feel is a gaping pit of death._ "He is a minor, and I'm pretty sure the drink in his hand is not ginger beer."

Daken bit back a sigh and the sudden urge to just run his claws through this man‘s head to be done with it. That would help no one. "Lighten up! Baby Z seems much happier at the Daken institute of higher and higher learning where the curriculum requires seeing the sights, tasting all the world has to offer and doing a few odds and ends while we train in Madripoor."

If no action was taken, if he stayed here on the dance floor his chance to get Zach was going to be lost. Bobby felt that if he stayed close to Daken much longer he’d do something stupid, "You know what the nice thing about hating you is, Daken?"

Leaning close he almost let their lips touch as he answered in a low, deep tone, “It makes you want me that much more?”

It would have been so simple to give in, but Bobby had set something in motion that could not be easily stopped. "I just froze you from the inside out …” As it became visible Bobby stepped away, a sneer overtaking his features, “... without a single qualm."

Daken was intimately familiar with the cold. His mutation allowed him to withstand temperatures that killed normal humans and mutants but that did not mean he wasn’t _feeling_ it. It was as if the very blood pumping through his veins had been switched for ice water. Daken could feel his heart slow down, his muscles tensing and the uncomfortable ache of the cold in his fingertips. “Sonofa -”

There was something intoxicating about getting one over on this over confidant pompous windbag. Bobby grinned and spoke with a lift in his voice, “"Seriously, Daken ... great work with those charm powers. I can't deny the hold you have over me right now." _Ha! Hold on me! Look at me waltzing away to go get Zach!_

Charm powers? That was not what his pheromones were and he was not even using them. In a room this packed with people turning someone on would have been less than smart. Daken gritted his teeth, “Kill … you …” At least that was about what he _wanted_ to do.

With a little chuckle Bobby rushed away, feeling like he was backing off from a cliff face as he did so, "Shh, baby. Don't ruin the moment."

* * *

The helicopter was on its way to Madripoor. Daken figured under different circumstances he would have been smug about that but right now he had other things to think about. Perhaps later he would find the time to be satisfied about having stolen the same kid from the same X-men twice now.

For the moment he was busy trying to get out of the rather uncomfortable position he had managed to get himself into. Daken had always thought that X-men were supposed to avoid injuring their enemies but that seemed not to apply to ones that could heal. At least if the ice digging into his insides was anything to go by.

Taking stock of the situation Daken gritted his teeth. His liver was damaged, his stomach too – probably spilling acid into places it should not go right now. And his healing factor was wrecked. This would take a long time to heal, if it healed at all. Drake had been smart though, having made sure to pin his arms and make it impossible for Daken to move or to even attempt to get out of the situation.

“Come here.” He said it as Drake touched back down on the rooftop, “Let me try _charming_ you one more time.” 

It was relatively easy to distance himself from what he had done. Bobby wasn’t the sort to go for maximum damage normally, and he was in disbelief over what he had done. There was still that same gnawing pit of darkness inside him, that chilly and familiar feeling. It separated him from the fallout of his actions. When Bobby did speak it was more to himself than to Daken, "I'm trying to sort out where I let him down."

Daken stared at Drake and wondered if this guy was even aware of what he had done. It did not seem like it. Not even close. “You ruined my suit –“

Just like before it was as though different parts of him were taking care of different things. Bobby wondered what would happen if he went digging in Daken’s insides. The part of him in charge of talking and staying on task, maintaining his image, said, "I wish I could blame you, but in a lot of ways Zach was right. We're trying to protect these students but I screwed up, I didn't invest or try to engage him on his level."

Drake was leaning on the snowflake and he could feel it digging into him deeper from the added weight. Daken licked his lips and tried to ignore the taste of blood in his mouth. “Please ... please jam another icicle into my temple if you're going to talk about pretty white kid problems.”

"In a lot of ways, I envy you. You just do whatever you want and no one can stop you. You basically stole Zach from the X-men by saying YOLO in a cute suit.” The Ramble was his best and first line of defense in most emotionally charged situations. Bobby couldn’t help seeing what he’d done now though. There was celebration, a desire to do more, and a revulsion within himself. Bobby kept up the brave face and turned away, leaning almost casually against the snowflake. “Yes the formalwear looks good on you."

It was only after a momentary pause that he pulled away. Every step from Daken he took was a step he felt more himself. _What did I do? He was coming at me claws out but a shield works just as well. Feet frozen to the ground, hands in blocks of ice …_ "Swagger can only get you so far, Daken. We'll get our student back. Have fun festering."

Looking after Drake he narrowed his eyes and then said in a sharp tone, "How's this bravado working out for you?" Spitting blood he glared at the back of that arrogant X-men.

"’Cause seriously, I can _smell_ the insecurity on you, Snowflake -- the nervous energy.” His voice cut through the air like a hot knife through butter, “That macho ice armor is about as convincing as a sweaty pig covering its **stink** with a gas station cologne. Good luck getting any of these X-teens to fall in line with a leader who reeks of _fear_.”

Daken smirked when he picked up the change in Drake’s scent. Anger, confusion, embarrassment. “Given your current approach ... you'd be accomplishing a lot more if you spent the rest of your life on the north pole packing ice than trying to change anyone with your idea of heroics."

Something in what Daken said made it all sink in. The part of him that was full of hate and ready to fight was smothered out of the part of him that actually cared about things other than power. Bobby was left feeling utterly disgusted with himself. What he had done, what he had failed to do, and how easily he had given into this strange sickening feeling inside of him, all of it was crushing him. 

Bobby didn’t turn around, he didn’t even think of trying to face Daken but he did do something about the ice. He raised its temperature. _His healing factor will take care of it, the best thing I can do is get out of here._ The desire to go digging around inside of Daken, searching for something, tried to rise up again and Bobby almost threw up in his mouth. _Yeah, I’ve got to get out of here._

Drake left. The fucker just left. Daken leaned back against the wall and wondered how long he was going to be stuck on this rooftop. It was then that he noticed the ice starting to melt away. With a lot of effort he managed to get free only to sink down onto the floor and sit there, examining the damage.

So much on the topic of things going surprisingly well. Apparently it did not take his Father being alive for an X-men to ruin his fun. _I’ll get you back for this Drake and I promise to make it twice as painful._ Daken barely even noticed that he was letting anger get the better of him and therefore allowing the seed even more room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken arrives in Madripoor after that encounter with Bobby and his mood is anything but pleasant.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Madripoor.

Daken climbed out of the helicopter and slid his shades off. Being back here was good. This city, this island, was a shithole. A dirty, filthy place stuffed to the brim with criminals, low lives and other scum. Daken felt more at home here than he wanted to really think about. The city was not his anymore, Tiger Tyger had taken it back while he had been busy being dead but that did not mean he didn’t have a place here.

Climbing down the stairs from the rooftop he went down to the level just below and opened the door to his apartment. The scent of fresh, hot food hit him right away and Daken kicked his boots off with an annoyed sigh. Zach apparently was having a real good time while he had been stuck in New York City.

On a rooftop. For a full hour. Daken had sat up there after Drake left and just waited for his healing factor to knit him back together enough to move. Once he had been confident that none of his organs would fall out of holes in his body, Daken had dragged himself down into the building again. The scared cleaning personnel had not dared tell him to get out as he searched for a first aid kit and then plundered the bar. Copious amounts of liquor had at least sort of dulled the pain.

Even now Daken was still feeling what Drake had done and it certainly did nothing to improve his mood. Coming into the living room area he spotted the young teenager sprawled out on the couch, eating chinese takeout. _Yes sure, eat takeout on my white leather couch. Not like that thing costs more than you will make in ten years._

“I see at least one of us had a nice evening.”

“You made it!” Zach sat up quickly and stared at Daken. He looked like himself but he looked angry. _Okay so I’ve never really seen him angry before. Okay this is bad, like really really bad._ Zach licked his lips held out the box of food, “Are you hungry? I didn’t know when you’d show up.”

_Deep breath. No need to snap at the teenager._ Daken pushed his hands through his hair and then just turned around, “Clean up after yourself. I need a shower.”

“Did you kill him?” It wasn’t that he liked Drake it was just that Drake wasn’t the worst person ever. He’d been less than great but he had tried to come after him, and he and Kitty had gotten him out of a hard spot. The idea that Daken had killed Drake didn’t sit well with him at all. 

“Why yes, _of course_ I did!” His voice dripped with sarcasm and annoyance, “Killing an X-man is always such a brilliant idea. It is not like that would bring down the entirety of that stupid cult like team on me.”

Zach winced and curled in on himself a little, “I … I’m sorry. I just, you were really, really mad and Drake … he was not pulling any punches so I thought maybe … I don’t know.”

“If you care so much about your stupid, needlessly violent creep of a teacher – why don’t you start swimming back to America instead of wasting my money and time.” Daken could recognize that he was about to say far more regrettable things so instead he turned and walked towards his bedroom.

_What did I do wrong?_ Zach had no idea what had changed. He thought that they were going to be a team, he thought that Daken _liked_ him. _I have to do something to prove to him that I’m worth the trouble._ Zach got up and started to clean up after himself. He hadn’t been here long, just enough time to take a nap and get something to eat. So there wasn’t a lot to clean but he tried. He did his best to make everything look perfect, for it to all look better than before he’d arrived. _Maybe he’ll see that I’m sorry._

The shower helped to at least make him feel less grossed out by himself. Daken did not indulge in enjoying the hot water though. He was starving and tired. As soon as all the blood was washed away and he stopped smelling of goddamn cinnamon and copper, he stepped back out of the shower.

There were scars where his body was still healing but they would fade soon enough and the pain was almost gone now. Things certainly used to be less annoying when he still had a fully functioning healing factor but at least he wasn’t completely without either. _That_ had been horrible.

Putting on a pair of pants he went back into the living room and found himself mildly surprised that things looked clean again. “Hm, guess you can at least be trusted to clean up.” Making his way to the kitchen he opened the fridge and grabbed some of the leftovers.

“I can … if you’re still mad I can just go wait. Is there - uh a room you don’t mind me in?” Zach wouldn’t look up. He knew that meeting someone’s gaze when they were mad was seen as a challenge. He knew that the best course for him was to just fall in line. His mutation didn’t involve flying or swimming or teleportation so he was trapped here. More than ever he was dependant on Daken and his good will. Zach was painfully aware of this fact and had every intention of endearing himself to Daken again. _If I just stay out of the way till this mood passes maybe things will be okay._

For a moment Daken said nothing. He was eating and simply watching the young teen. Body language and scent told him a million little things and the underlying message was all the same; Zach was _scared_. Sighing heavily he went to sit down on the couch and said, “Come here, kid. I had a shit day – night. Whatever. I am not mad at _you_. I am mad at your teacher. The hell was with that guy anyway? I thought Iceman was supposed to be laid back and funny. Not ready to stab me with an icicle.”

“He handled an entire city mob with like, gentle hands or whatever.” Zach followed Daken and took a seat. It was easy to fall back into the relationship they had started to build. When it all got paired down Zach liked Daken and he wanted Daken to like him. “I don’t know man, he’s always just full of stupid jokes and weird references to old games no one likes.”

“Next time that popsicle gets in my way, I _will_ hurt him.” Leaning back he continued eating. Healing took not only time but energy.

“He’s a big baby, he acts like he’s the center of attention. It’d serve him right to have some reality served to him.”

“See, this is why staying in the closet is unhealthy. It turns you into a goddamn asshole.”

Zach refused to think about himself and his own sexuality. What was important here was that Daken was talking to him like a regular person. “He’s nothing you know, he’s just the extra. Pryde is way younger than him and she’s running the school even though he’s been around a lot longer. We should forget about him.”

“Mmh.” Nodding absently he sat the box down and then stretched lazily. Everything was sore and he was still exhausted. 

“So … is that it? Do we just rest now?” _Is there something you want me to do?_

“I just had to heal several _holes_ in my body.” Daken gestured at the fading scars, “So yes, I am going to crawl into my luxurious bed and enjoy a good night of sleep. You room is that one by the way.”

“Sure, right, cool.” He nodded and swallowed. “It was fun you know, before Drake showed up.” He pushed his fingers back through his hair and smiled a little, “I like how you party.”

“Won’t be the only party you get to go to. Don’t worry kid.” Standing up he fluffed Zach’s hair and then headed back towards the bedroom, “Get some rest. We have plans tomorrow.”

_Partners. We’re partners, and he likes me._ Zach watched Daken move away and noted how the older man moved. He was like a cat, lithe and murderous. Even though he was excited Zach decided that rest was the best idea. Daken had proven he was a man of his word. There would be more, all he had to do was wait and listen.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby talks about what happened the day before with Warren. Having to face the possibility of not at all being the person Bobby likes to think he is, it's a rather terrifying experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

There was a surreal quality to walking around the school. Bobby had lived in several versions of the ‘school for gifted youngsters’. There was the one he had come to as a child, the one that was basically the house Xavier had grown up in. And there were others, so many others. Some things remained the same. For the longest time the big constant had been location. Bobby had gotten used to being able to look out at the night sky and see stars when he was at the school. That was no longer the case. They’d moved from Westchester and were now here in the very heart of New York. Bobby needed to find a constant, something that tied him back to those days with his four best friends. 

“No stars.” He looked up at the dark sky and sighed. Warren had come out onto the roof and stayed with him for a long time, silent as Bobby stared into the nothingness. The city was too bright. All he could make out was the moon and a few dim points. It was heartbreaking. 

With a soft sigh Warren stood up and stepped next to Bobby again, looking up at the sky with a frown. “That’s what you are looking for up there? Stars? It’s the city, Icicle. You won’t find any stars unless you make me take you up way higher. That’s what you want? Go for a little fly?”

“I want to see them from the rooftop, like when we were little.” It was strange, sometimes Warren was Warren, and sometimes he wasn’t. Today seemed like one of those times that he was the person Bobby had known most of his life. 

“Oh, you are having a case of nostalgia.” Warren nodded absently and then sighed. His mind was still a mess and he did not remember everything from when he had been younger. It was difficult to come to terms with the holes in his memory but considering everything he knew had happened, he was doing pretty well. “Wanna tell me what brought that on?”

“Nostalgia is feeling that feeling of connecting back to something, normally something goodand that not what I’m feeling, not at all.” Bobby looked over at his friend, “I feel … I feel lost, like I’m in a tiny boat in the middle of a big angry ocean and when I look up to figure out which way to point my sail there’s nothing to guide me.”

“You know what I would call that?” Warren cocked his head and looked at Bobby with a little smile, “Being a teenager. I might not remember everything but I _do_ remember that. You are back to having to figure yourself out, Bobby. I am pretty sure feeling lost is natural right now. You spent over half of your life defining yourself through a lie. It’s going to take time for things to start feeling normal again.”

“Yeah, I get that, and this isn’t the first time I’ve felt lost but -” He let his mind settle back on what had happened at Mean Time. “- there’s a darkness in me Warren and I can’t tell if it’s from the Death seed, the years of lying and self denial, or … maybe this is just part of who I am.”

Making a thoughtful sound he crossed his arms and looked at Bobby for a long moment before saying, “So what if it is? Let’s say you aren’t perfectly _good_ and _innocent_ , what exactly is the problem with that? I don’t have the Death Seed anymore and yet I still have Archangel. Conclusion – he was always there. Makes him, makes the darkness a part of me. Doesn’t change that I am trying to do good.”

“Right, if we say that the only people allowed to do good are the perfect people then no good ever gets done. I know I was in Scott’s ethics classes, I get it.” Bobby sighed and shifted his weight, “It’s just … I don’t want to be violent. I … I didn’t think that was part of _me_. I thought that was the Death Seed. I … I have thoughts, like sure I’ve wanted to freeze my dad’s heart when he’s mean to me but I never did it until there was this thing inside of me twisting all my feelings around till there was nothing left but anger.”

Reaching out he put a hand on Bobby’s shoulder and asked, “Bobby … what did you do? What is this about?”

“Logan’s son Daken he uh … he stole this kid from us, Zach. Kitty and I found him and rescued him from an angry mob and … I mean he was here and then he was gone and when I found him at Mean Time Daken was there and he was … he was so beautiful and terrifying it just … I …” Bobby shook his head and looked down at his hands wondering at himself, “I felt this need to hurt, this lust for blood - there were these thoughts I kept having Warren, about digging inside Daken’s body, I wanted to _look_ for something. I felt like freaking Golem.”

“Oh.” Warren blinked and then made a face, “Bobby, you know what that sounds like? Except maybe psychopathic – it sounds like a case of Death Seed. You wanted something from _inside_ him. And didn’t Logan say Daken was dead? I remember that being the case. So if he’s back … well, not saying that random resurrection don’t happen but usually some dark shit is going on when they happen.”

Bobby nodded his head, “I want to contact Laura but I’ve got a feeling that won’t go over well. I like her but we aren’t particularly close. Telling her that I made a giant ice shuriken to nail her brother to the wall and I need her help understanding why isn’t going to work out so well.”

“Eh, he is a Wolverine. Daken heals right? Oh fuck, he does heal yeah?”

“Yeah he does, I saw him heal from some of the fight, I’m sure he is fine now.” _He was just in a great amount of pain for at least what? An hour? Two? No big deal right?_ Bobby sighed and shook his head. “I would talk to someone, maybe Moira, but the legacy virus took her. I … I literally don’t know what I’m supposed to do with this.”

“You are talking to me. It’s … something. I am no therapist but …” Looking away he stuck his hands into the pockets of his jacket and stared up at the sky, “But I know a thing or two about violent urges.”

“Yeah, fair, and about … that thing.” Bobby shivered and shook his head. “I’m afraid Warren.”

“Once you’ve been in contact with a Death Seed, it’s never really going to leave you. The Seed is gone but the effect it had? That’s something that won’t go away. If he’s running around with one inside him, and we don’t really know if that is the case, then maybe you are better off staying far away. Let someone else get the kid back. Preferably someone who has never been a Horseman.”

Bobby sighed, “I miss Scott. I - he would know what to do. I just … I want him to show up and sort this out.” Bobby closed his eyes and tried not to let the grief and guilt choke him. “I still can’t really accept that he’s gone. Yeah people come back all the time, but not everyone does. People stay dead all the time.”

“We all screwed up when it comes to Scott. I mean, I was kind of dead so there is that but still … I wouldn’t have died if Logan and I had listened to him in the first place. Bad choices all around.” Warren sighed and leaned their shoulders together, “He’ll be back. It’s Scott. He doesn’t get nice things like being allowed to stay dead.”

“Jean is still gone Warren. She’s been gone so long and … maybe they’re together.” Bobby sighed and shook his head as he leaned in against Warren. “Come on, let’s go inside. There are as many answers out here as there are stars and I’m too tired to get past all the interference.” 

“Maybe you need to stop wallowing and start hooking up with really cute, attractive boys. I hear dating is supposed to be good for the soul. And I _know_ sex definitely is good for – well like everything.”

“Yeah.” Bobby made a face and then shrugged, “Maybe something will come up, maybe I’ll find someone on the street tomorrow, who knows.” He sighed and started to head inside, “Come on Feathers, let’s make ourselves sick on soda and candy and pretend that everything in the world isn’t complicated and terrible.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken visits his sisters and makes a choice that may or may not have been the wrong one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** None
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

They were in the ice cream shop Gabby liked best. It was a nice bright place with fanciful green hills painted on the walls and bicycle decor. The red brick and dark teal painted wood of the exterior looked proper and respectable with it’s bold black and white sign, _‘Ice Cream’_. A person wouldn’t expect to walk in and be hit with this level of whimsy. It suited Gabby, and therefore it made her smile. 

Laura didn’t bother trying to keep a close rein on her little sister, not here. They were known in this shop. She was distracted though and mumbled through her order as she looked around, waiting for Daken. It had been too long since they saw him last. Laura was starting to get this weird feeling that something was going wrong. She knew if she brought it up he wouldn’t listen. Daken tended to smile, act like he was paying attention, and then just go off and do his own thing. 

“Alright so that’s twenty two dollars and fifty six cents.” 

Laura looked at the pleasant faced person and then started to rummage in her pockets. Normally she was more on task, normally she’d have had her wallet out already.

“My treat.” Daken smiled at his sister, a hand on Laura’s shoulder as he paid for the treats and made an order at the same time. Ice cream had never been a favorite of his but every now and then he didn’t mind indulging. There were other things on his mind than fussing over sweets.

“Daken!” Gabby called happily with her arms in the air. There had never been any doubt that he would show up but she still felt much better now that he had indeed made it. Laura let their shoulders brush as they stood near to each other and smiled as they waited for his order to be ready. “I’m glad you made it.”

Daken smiled at the two of them and took note that they both seemed healthy and content. Good. He couldn’t deal with more trouble. He had his own to take care of.

It was a bit concerning though that Laura had not noticed him coming in but people could get distracted. Even the ones like them. _Ha, them._ As if Laura and Gabby were the same as him. They were nothing like him. These two girls had found a place in the world and formed their own relationships and connections with other _‘good’_ people. Daken knew better than to put himself on their level.

There was a reason why Daken had been avoiding phone calls and text messages from his two sisters. If he believed they would stay away, he would have kept ignoring them. Not because he didn’t love them but because he _did_. The last thing he wanted to do was drag the two of them into the mess he’d made.

“You look good, you two. Better than when you came to tell me about that space adventure. I take it you’ve had some peaceful days?” Making meaningless conversation came easy enough to him but it was far more difficult to do it with someone else who could pick up on cues that were hidden to normal people. Daken never got away with anything around Laura so he tried to mean the question. Tried to push away that numb, cold feeling that had settled so deeply inside his stomach.

“Yeah, it’s been pretty boring. Jonathan is napping at home, he refused to get up. I think he’s depressed.” Gabby carried her cone over to the table she liked next to the windows.

“It has been quiet.” With her bowl of ice cream in hand Laura took a seat at the table, leaving the one between herself and Gabby open for Daken. “How have things been for you?”

Daken settled down between the two girls and took a sip from his cup of espresso before answering carefully, “I’ve been keeping myself busy with … training actually.” That was not a lie. It was going to bring him into a bit of trouble if Laura wanted to know more but he’d figure it out.

It was obvious that Daken was hiding something. She took a bite of her ice cream and rolled it over thoughtfully as she enjoyed the nutty and floral flavors of her treat. _What is going on Daken? Is this the right time and place for me to push for more?_

“Mmm, training hu? I was thinking it might be fun to take dance lessons. I read that the Black Widow did ballet.” 

Dipping his spoon into the rich, dark chocolate ice cream he nodded at Gabby, “Yes, that is one of the few true rumors. She was also trained briefly by our dear old man.” The look Laura gave him made Daken shrug, “What? I did my homework when _he_ told me Logan had killed my mother.”

Indeed he had. If only Daken had figured out through reading up on Logan that it didn’t make sense for him to have killed his fiance. A lot of things could have gone differently but he had been a foolish child. Thirty something and still so desperate for _his_ approval, attention and above all his **love**. Romulus had done a magnificent job at permanently damaging him in ways that were far beyond anyone’s ability to repair.

The thought made his stomach turn. Daken bit his tongue to remind himself to keep down that feeling which had been creeping into his day to day life more and more. Ever since that fight on the rooftop and the bitter thought that he wanted to pay Drake back for the pain.

“It’s just that I didn’t know that. It’s not as though Logan was ever talkative about his past with anyone.” She sighed and pushed some of the hair back out of her face. It still hurt, she missed him every day, and she was fairly certain she always would. 

Gabby looked between them curiously. She’d never met this Logan Howlett, Wolverine, guy. She knew the old man, her interdimensional dystopian granddad. He was alright, she liked him well enough even if he had basically killed her that one time. In her introspection she forgot to take a bite of fruity ice cream and started to pant, “Oh … sriracha … hot, hot ice cream!”

“This is why the idea of _spicy_ ice cream disturbs me.” Daken fluffed her hair and handed her a glass of water. “Be more careful, sweetheart.”

It warmed her heart to see Daken be the way he always was with Gabby. Laura relaxed a little and went back to devouring her ice cream.

“Look, it’s not as if it wasn’t worth the risks.” She took a sip of water and then dug right back into her ice cream, “You know even if something tries to kill you, sometimes that’s okay. Sometimes that’s perfect.”

Looking at Laura he made a face, “Who taught her _that_? Was it the older old man? I can still smell his scent lingering on you two … well, unless our actual old man is back which I hope is not the case.”

“Daken she starts in the middle of a thought and then circles back around to two thoughts ago. You know this.” Laura shrugged and then smiled at Gabby to take the sting out of her words. That was something she had learned to do, smile at people because she loved them. Warren had helped her a lot with warming, and opening up. “Logan isn’t back, not that I know of. Old man Logan stopped by again. He didn’t stay long, I think he just likes to see that we’re alive.”

“Ah yes, of course he does.” Daken knew he sounded bitter. It was impossible to keep that out of his tone when it came down to this topic. “He _loves_ you two after all.” The words he didn’t say hung thickly in the air.

Her ice cream was gone and Daken was upset. It was clear what needed to be done. Gabby hopped from her chair into Daken’s lap. “I love you, the most. You are the best brother.”

Without hesitation he wrapped his arms around Gabby and chuckled, “I am your only brother so that is not hard to achieve. Lucky me.” Somehow it was not as hard to stay in control with the two of them close. Maybe he should abandon that plan and – _Stop being an idiot. You started. You will finish it._

“I’ve got lots of brothers, none of them by blood, and none of them nearly as cool, as you.” Gabby kissed his cheek and hugged him tight. 

“She really does love you the most Daken. More than me even.”

“Hey, don’t be jealous! You’re my sister and clone mother, and you are the best!” Her tone was a bit shrill as she countered Laura’s words.

With a resigned grin she shook her head, “Gabby, it’s okay. Daken is special. I can’t blame you for loving him best.”

“You are both being ridiculous.” Daken smiled and just shook his head as he set back into his ice cream. He didn’t say _that_ word but he was sure that they knew he did love them. Otherwise he wouldn’t have come here all the way from Madripoor to eat ice cream and have a chat.

“Your clothes smell funny.” Gabby pressed her face against the white shirt and then into his black blazer. 

“Funny?” Daken arched a brow and cocked his head, “That is not a very clear description, Gabby.”

“Dust and palm trees.” She licked her lips as she looked up at him with curious green eyes, “Fish, boy, and whatever horrible thing it is you shave with.”

“Do not insult my shaving cream.” Daken sighed and then shrugged, “I am in Madripoor at the moment. No, Laura I am not attempting to take it back. I just like the place. More than America anyway.”

She wasn’t sure if that was true. Madripoor was where they had first really met, and it had once been the seat of Daken’s power. It was still a den of crime and tended towards the darkest part of the spectrum without being totally evil. “How is their cheese selection?”

“Terrible but there are so many good dishes that make up for it. The sushi is exquisite and there is that little shop around the corner of my place where they serve the best curry I ever had.” 

“Is it spicy?” That was what she wanted to know. Both of them liked spicey food, but Gabby got more excited about it than Laura did.

“Spicy and full of flavor.” Daken knew that the two girls were particularly fond of spicy food. “I know you’d love it. Maybe I’ll invite you two over sometime.” _After this mess is cleaned up. Somehow._

Laura watched the two of them and wondered if she should get Daken alone. _I can feel that there’s something going on, and he’s based in Madripoor. There’s something he’s not saying._ Laura swallowed her last bite of ice cream and decided that she couldn’t demand information of her brother. _Either he trusts us or he doesn’t. I can’t force that without breaking what we already have. If I want his trust I have to give him mine._ It was no easy thing to do but Laura held her peace.

“Can we bring Deadpool when we visit Madripoor? I think he’d really like it, and he’d love the curry.” There was a wistful expression on Gabby’s face as she thought of her dear friend. 

“I once cut off his hands. I am not entirely confident that Wilson would like to spend time with me.”

“Did you give them back to him?” 

“No, I was busy being shot in the head and passing out. So there wasn’t really an option for it.”

“It sounds like you were having a bad day. If you wanna make up with Wade you can give him a unicorn, he really likes those, or a burrito, or -” Gabby grinned ear to ear and looked quite pleased with herself, “- you can cut off your middle finger and put it in a box. I did that, and he _loved_ it.”

“Don’t look at me Daken. She did. Wilson stayed in the hospital room with her and made sure she didn’t go crazy with boredom after everything went down on Roosevelt Island.”

“Maybe I should have stayed … I am just not fond of hospitals. The smell of sick people makes my stomach turn.” Daken shook his head and then sighed, “Alright, sweetheart. You can bring your friend when I invite you two over. Now want me to accompany you two home before I have to catch my flight back?”

“Yes! Jonathan will be so upset if he doesn’t get to see you because he was napping!” 

Laura nodded, “It would be nice to spend as much time with you as we can.” Laura reached over and touched his shoulder lightly, “I missed you.” _I have a feeling that is going to be the way of things for a while._


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zachary tries to do something good for Daken after learning a bit more about him but things do not go according to plan. It's a lesson the kid won't forget anytime soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Child abuse, Violence, Trauma, Pheromone use
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

It was one of _these_ days. The kind where a person woke up and immediately regretted it. Daken had almost just rolled back over and stayed in bed if only Zachary wasn’t expecting him to function as an adult. The kid learned quick and he was self sufficient but a teenager was still a teenager. No matter how grown up. Even he had needed some level of supervision at that age.

That was why he was sitting on the soft, velvety carpet with his legs folded as they both meditated. Zach’s power came from inside him and getting in touch with it required attention and focus. The two things that teenagers tended to be awful at to a degree that made Daken want to stab himself.

Somehow, so far, Zach had been quiet though and it had been a good twenty minutes already. Daken glanced at his student and then silently reached for his cup of black tea and took a sip. It was still just warm enough to be enjoyable. Not that Daken never drank cold tea or coffee but if he had the option for it to be hot he certainly preferred that.

Being still was not easy. Zach had a million questions, most of them had to do with the day Daken had spent back in the states. The rest had to do with what they were preparing for. The only time there had been any rest was on that weird day Daken had left him all alone here. It hadn’t been bad, not when there was plenty of food and an internet connection. Still, looking inward and focusing on his energy was difficult for him. There was something to it though, and it wasn’t just being quiet. This was work that he was doing. And yet his legs were falling asleep, and there was a weird pull towards, into, Daken that he didn’t really understand. 

In need of something, any reason to break the tension only he seemed to be aware of Zach opened one eye and asked, “Should we make more tea?”

And there it was. Daken sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. _Goodbye sweet, sweet silence._ It had been nice while it lasted and he was not going to complain.

“You are feeling anxious to move, yeah?” Daken looked over and arched a brow, “Alright, go and set some water on the stove then.”

“Well yeah, between my legs falling asleep - ” There was groaning as he stood to prove that point, “And the weird feelings, I’m totally ready to do just about anything else.”

“Weird feelings?” Daken cocked his head and watched Zach move over to the kitchen nook. The boy smelled of boredom and nervous energy but Daken was not detecting anything worrisome. “Be a bit more specific, kid. I can’t read minds.”

“There’s like this, I’d say a … it feels like a rope between us. I can feel it when I close my eyes and concentrate on my gift.” The motions of making tea were simple and familiar. Zach moved through them without issue or any particular grace. “Sometimes it feels like there’s no slack in the line at all, that I’m being pulled in.”

Daken made a thoughtful sound as he rose from the floor and stretched lazily. He could sit, stand or kneel for hours on end but being able to do something did not imply he enjoyed it. It was just one of these little things that _he_ had taught him to endure.

“That would be because there _is_ a pull and your job is to not let it get to you, kid.” 

Zach turned to look at Daken, he had finished with the water and the kettle, so there was no reason not to, “That’s my job? That’s a thing? You knew it would happen?”

“That’s not the word I’d use. It is more that I … theorized that it might be a possibility. If I knew what I am doing, I probably wouldn’t have a teenager involved in it.”

“All of this is just by the seat of your pants.” Zach rolled his eyes and shifted his stance, “I’m not _just_ a teenager. I’m an amplifier. Anything you can do I can make you do it ten times better. That’s why I’m here and we both know it.”

“Your manners certainly still need some work.” Jealousy. The scent of it hung in the air like a thick cloud. Zach was jealous of … something? Daken frowned. Was it because he had left Madripoor to visit his sisters? Did – _Oh_. It hit him and Daken sighed heavily. Zach thought that he was going to be replaced. It was fear masked as jealousy.

Daken settled down on the couch and cocked his head, “I know you have more questions. So, come here, let’s talk.”

Though Daken had invited him to sit Zach stayed in the kitchen, “Well what _is_ **it**?” Zach asked with his hands up in the air near his shoulders. “The whatever it is that I can _feel_ inside of you. Other mutants don’t have _that_.”

“Some do but they are few who still walk around. It’s …” Daken paused. What was he going to tell this child? There were a million different ways to explain this and none of them sat right with Daken but he had to say something.

After a moment he settled for, “It is something that someone forced on me. I had no say in the matter and I do not enjoy that kind of experience so I am intend to take control while I can.”

Zach blinked several times, his gaze unfocused, as he took in what Daken’s words really meant. His throat worked as he looked for words of his own, not to say, but to express to himself how he was feeling. This was no small thing, this wasn’t something Daken walked around sharing, and it was not an easy thing to live with. Existing in a reality you felt was controlled for you, that you had little to no effect on, and even less chance of escaping from, that was Zach’s everyday life. He’d tried to wrestle control back by leaving the school, by trusting Daken. _You trust me, you actually need me._

“How can I help make that happen?” The kettle began to whine but Zach didn’t move.

“Well, start by making that noise stop.”

Daken knew he had just made himself vulnerable but what else was he going to do? The kid did not need an explanation of what a Death Seed was and what it would do to him if it was kick started by the wrong sort of person. That was the stuff nightmares were made out of.

The kettle went quiet as Zach went through the requisite motions. “Yeah? And what else? Come on man you can’t say that to me and not have more.”

“Yes, I can.” He arched a brow, “I have not yet decided what to do. All you are going to do for a little longer is train.”

“Train? That’s it?” Zach got the teapot and tapped out the old leaves from the fine mesh strainer. “Do I touch it? The thing I can feel inside you?” New leaves went in and then the now cool enough, but still very hot water, went over the top of them. 

“Don’t. Whatever you do, _don’t touch it_. Don’t do anything with it until I tell you to. Understood?”

The reaction was not instantaneous. It was clear that Zach was having to think this over. In the end he nodded and brought the teapot back over to rest on the low table nearest Daken. “Yeah. Same page. We train, and eventually we dab on all the haters. Details to come.”

“Good boy.” The words passed his lips and Daken went still. That was not – he should never say that. He had been avoiding to call Zach ‘ _boy’_.

All that registered for Zach was that Daken had praised him. He glowed with it and settled himself back down on his ass, this time near one of Daken’s knees, to meditate. “I’m gunna train super hard. Soon we’re gunna need someone for me to test this out on. You better believe I’ve got what it takes.”

Daken said nothing, he just quietly sipped from his new cup of tea and tried not to give into the urge to throw up and then go on to ruin another pair of sheets with blood. _That_ habit had been giving him a lot of trouble lately with how often it set in.

* * *

There were risks involved with everything. Zach knew that Daken was trying to protect him, but he also knew that there wasn’t a lot of time. The way Daken had said it _‘while I still can’_ , that had hit home for him. There wasn’t much time to complete whatever plan it was Daken was hatching, and even less time to prove himself. So an hour after Daken went to his room and turned off the lights Zach got up and crept across the hall. He knew that there was no way for him to beat Daken’s senses so he was banking entirely on sleep to cover for him. _Don’t choke now Zach, you’ve got to do this, you can’t screw this up. Daken is counting on you._

It was only after he was standing in Daken’s room, the door open behind him, with Daken motionless for three whole seconds that he let himself breath. Zach stood there in the doorway looking at his partner. The long black hair was an inky cloud against the white pillow case. It looked like Daken had tossed and turned a bit, the bed sheets were not straight and the lines of Daken’s shoulders were bare. Zach’s night vision was not amazing, but he could see well enough to take it all in.

That was until he closed his eyes to concentrate. He took a slow, deep breath and held it as long as he could before letting it out just as slowly. The tug was there, and the line seemed incredibly tight this time. _Yeah, I feel it, I’m on it._ Zach reached out, unaware that his arm and hand had moved, or that his posture was tipped forward from how he’d shifted his weight to the balls of his feet. All he was only aware of one thing, _it_ , the presence, inside of Daken. Zach tried to inspect it but he had so little to compare it to. _The only way I’m going to learn is if I do it._ Zach touched it, the second source of power inside of Daken and gasped softly at the incredible sensation of it. He’d touched omega level mutants but he had never ever experienced something like this before. This was like touching the Sun. 

Heat. Daken shifted slightly. The dream he had been having changed in tone, drastically. One moment he was chatting with Laura and the next a heavy, clawed hand closed around his throat. He heard Laura calling out and then – Daken sat up with a startled sound, chest heaving and eyes wild. Nightmares weren’t new but he had never had one which felt this real. It was as if that hand was still choking him.

“Zach?” Daken stared at the young teenager and then it clicked. With a growl he pushed off the bed and approached Zachary. “You stupid, childish idiot! I fucking told you not to touch it!”

This time he didn’t fall back. He had felt the _thing_ and he knew he could handle it, that he was good enough, that he could handle this and no one else could. He stood his ground and looked back at Daken with confidence and indignation, “You want me to crawl when I’m ready to run! How am I any good to you if I don’t work on what you brought me here for?”

Disobedience and defiance. His eyes narrowed and Daken acted before thought caught back up. The slap made his hand tingle and still he grabbed Zach’s arm and pushed him onto the bed. “How dare you disobey me! I will teach you -”

The bed was soft, even with the force Daken had used to pull and push him, the landing was soft. There was a jaring contrast between the loud stinging slap, the taste of copper, and the soft landing. Zach tried to speak but the words caught in his throat, the sound he made was not quite choking, not quite a word. 

The heat inside him was like a burning fire and it consumed his thoughts but it was the lingering ghost of a hand around his throat which made Daken reach for the belt he had worn during the day. “Disobedience is punished, _boy_.” 

“M’sorry.” The words broke out of his chest as Zach curled up on himself, hands over his head, knees to his chest. There was a loud sob which escaped despite the boy’s obvious efforts. The dark was no shield against Daken’s eyes which would easily perceive the sloptchiness of Zach’s skin, and the shimmering tear tracks down his face.

Daken paused, his hand still clutching the belt as his eyes took in the sight of that curled up _child_. Nausea hit him so hard he almost threw up right then and there but instead the belt dropped and he got onto the bed. “Fuck, Zach I – I am sorry kid. I am so sorry.” 

From violence to comfort in a matter of seconds. It was enough to give a person emotional whiplash. Zach swallowed and tried to find words. They weren’t there. All he could do was cling to Daken as thoughts rushed through his head. _He hit me, he was going to keep beating me. There’s nowhere else to go. I’m trapped. I disobeyed. I did this. It’s my fault._ Zach shuddered and leaned into Daken, “Sorry.”

Something had changed. Daken was not feeling that heat anymore but the ghost was still there. And he could feel the Seed nagging at him more than before. _Fuck. I am fucked. I am so fucked._

Wrapping his arms around the teenager he held him close and whispered, “Please don’t apologize. This was on me. I am sorry Zach.” There was no way that the kid would trust him again but Daken needed that trust. Closing his eyes for a moment he breathed in deeply and started to fill the room with pheromones to sooth and induce comfort and a sense of security.

“No it’s my fault.” Zach clung to Daken and shook his head, the words were shaking and waterlogged but he managed to make himself heard, “Jus’ wanna be good for you, be good enough. Don’t want you to leave me. Need you.”

_Oh for the love of gravity._ Zach sounded just like him. Daken just held on tight while he kept the pheromones up. Eventually the kid would calm down.

Once his lungs stopped burning he noticed how his face hurt, and that it was a total mess. Still he just pressed as close to Daken as he could. That was safety. The only safety that was real. “I’ll be good, I promise.”

“It’s okay, kid. It’s okay. You’re good for me.” Daken did not believe in heaven and hell but aside from the fact that he would go to hell anyway for all that he had done up till now – this certainly sold the deal. _**I am what you will become**. _ The thought of it passed through his mind and Daken buried his face in that dark hair, trying not join the boy in crying. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby just met this man but he thinks he might have lost his heart already. Netflix & Chill certainly has interesting sides to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Frottage, Sexual Content, First Time
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

“After a few minutes, when you both know you don't wanna watch whatever's on the tube …” The hand on the back of Bobby’s neck was unnecessary he was already leaning in even as Judah spoke, “... you kiss.”

With a soft sound, he parted his lips for what was his second gay kiss. Bobby wondered how he had gone from determined to study gayness before he jumped in to making out with a man for the first time in under twenty four hours. _This isn’t what I meant by_ ‘omega level at life’ _self._ And yet he was kissing Judah whose last name he didn’t even know yet. This was something Logan or Alex would do. _I bet this is how fast Daken moves, from flirt to fuck -_ Judah tilted his head, the soft drag of well conditioned stubble drew a low moan out of him. _Wow, he’s an amazing kisser._

Bobby reached out to caress Judah’s cheek as the kiss continued. He was running high on the good feelings that came with winning a fight. A fight that had no causality save property damage. Those were the best sorts of fights, and the ones a hero tended to bounce back from quickest. His fingers moved, pushed into Judah’s hair, and Bobby parted his lips, and moaned. He was eager to reach out and take something he wanted, something he truly wanted. This was more than he could find in a book.

Judah reached out with both hands, getting them tangled in that short brown hair. Bobby was reacting with more enthusiasm than expected but he was not going to complain about it.

The moment he had seen Bobby outside the shop with that book in hand, Judah had known he wanted some of that beautiful man. There was something about these light blue eyes and the way Bobby held himself which had really intrigued him. Not to mention that Bobby had a body to die for. Superheroes had their upsides for sure.

“Mm, hey … you good? ‘m not trying to move too fast. You gotta tell me where the line is, Bobby.”

“Not a virgin.” The words came out more defensively than he meant them to. With a sigh he shook his head, “I … the line … we just met but I don’t know … when it doesn’t feel good anymore.”

“You think I’d only ask a virgin that? You could have slept with every not straight guy in Los Angeles and I’d still ask.” Stroking Bobby’s cheek he smiled at him, “Whatever happens, just know I _want_ you to speak up if it stops being good. It’s not good for anyone if it’s not good for everyone.”

Bobby had slept around enough to know that this wasn’t the norm. He’d had partners that didn’t check in, he’d been the asshole that didn’t check in, it wasn’t a common thing the way it should be. He leaned back in and gave Judah a soft kiss, “You’re really, really attractive when you talk like that.”

“Ah, you’ll have to thank my mother for teaching me to respect women. She didn’t know yet that one day I was going to tell her I’d rather die than kiss a girl.” Judah chuckled and slid his hands down Bobby’s back, sneaking them under the hem of the shirt to touch warm skin. For someone who could turn to ice, Bobby was really warm.

“Mmm.” It felt good. Bobby leaned into it and made eyes at Judah. “Smarter than I was.” _You don’t even care that I’m a mutant, or that I’ve been with women, or that I just came out. You come on a little strong but you care about enthusiastic consent, you’ve got gorgeous eyes, and kissing you feels real good. Judah whose last name I have yet to discover, you are getting laid tonight._ “Kiss me.”

“With pleasure.” Smiling he kissed Bobby again, this time a lot more enthusiastic about it. This wouldn’t be the first time he ended having sex with someone he had just met. Somehow that seemed to happen a lot and then he felt disappointed afterwards when the guy didn’t want to stay in contact. Like the fool he was.

Rather than go slow Bobby started to undress himself. The dove gray blazer was history as he moaned into Judah’s lips. Then he crossed his arms in front of himself and pulled his shirt off in a quick motion. He went back to kissing as quickly as he could. 

Kissing was good, really good but Judah still broke the kiss after a moment. He leaned back and looked at Bobby, eyes wide. “Wow okay, wow. Anyone ever tell you that you are absolutely _gorgeous?_ Like yeah okay, sign me up for heroes I guess.”

Bobby chuckled, “Yeah, guess I _am_ a tall drink of _ice_ water.”

“I love your humor and I do hear that drinking a lot of water is healthy …” Smirking he leaned back in and kissed Bobby again, hands curiously running over that smooth chest. Every muscles was well defined and firm under his fingertips. Judah was not sure he had ever been this turned on just by touching someone.

Being petted and cooed over wasn’t new but he’d never had another man look at him like that while he was half naked. Bobby shivered with excitement and then kissed down Judah’s neck, nipping and moaning. “I’ve got plenty where that came from, if jokes were water we’d be drowning.”

“Drowning sounds great if I just get to keep touching you.” Making a soft sound he tilted his head to the side to give Bobby space to do as he pleased. It was good to know that despite a lack of experience with men, Bobby wasn’t shy about trying. Shy was hard to deal with, not impossible but yeah, Judah liked confidence and curiosity.

The television was still running and he tapped at the remote, hitting the mute button. He really wanted to _hear_ Bobby while they did this. However far it ended up going. “Keep doin’ that and I’ll turn into a puddle.”

“Lucky for you.” Bobby ran a hand over Judah’s over dressed chest and breathed past his ear, “I can make liquid hard.”

There was a short pause and then Judah started to laugh. It was a genuine and amused laugh which he used as a chance to get his own shirt off and discard it off to the side. “It’s been a while since someone made me laugh while making out.”

It had been quite some time since he saw a civilian in a state of undress up close and intimate. Bobby smiled and ran his hands down Judah’s arms. It was clear he worked out, but didn’t over do it. He was well built but not obsessively chilled. It was refreshing and attractive. Their eyes met, “Glad I could do that for you.”

Leaning close he kissed Bobby’s cheek and then whispered, “’m glad I can do _this_ for you. Make you have a good time after that crazy battle. You looked really, really good by the way.”

“Oh, you into my alter ego?” Bobby joked to cover up how much it meant to him that Judah wasn’t freaked out about him being a mutant, “Iceman is sort of a big deal. One of the original X-men.”

“I’m really into _you,_ Bobby. And that, the whole being a Mutant thing, it’s a part of you right? Like being incredibly gay is a part of me. Or the whole religious thing is a part of my Mother. Either you want the whole package or you don’t get anything.”

_I think I’m in love._ “Did I mention my mom’s Jewish too?” _God I’m hard, and I’m pretty sure I’m in love. This has to be - you are so getting laid Judah._

“Mmh, I’ll ask about it later. You know, when all my blood isn’t busy down south.” Chuckling he kicked his shoes off and then asked, “I really wanna keep kissing and touching, you good with that?”

“Think I might cry if you wanted to stop.” Bobby followed Judah’s example and quickly kicked his shoes off too. “This feels so good, so right.”

“Never been with a girl but been with a few guys who came out later in life. All of them said something along these lines.” Smiling he leaned close, cupped Bobby’s face in his hands and kissed him again. Kissing was good. Kissing was amazing. And it made pushing Bobby back to make him relax into the couch easier.

There was something incredible about just laying back and _feeling_ Judah on top of him that unlatched the last hold on his lust that Bobby had. His hips rolled and he gasped sharply. This was raw and hot in a way he’d never known intimacy to be. He was hard, painfully hard, and Judah hadn’t even touched him south of the border. 

That was an invitation and Judah was perfectly happy to accept it. Getting settled between Bobby’s legs he rolled his own hips and kissed along the side of Bobby’s neck. “Feels good, love how hard you are.”

“Never been more turned on in my life.” The words were true, there was the one time he’d been with Mystique, but that hadn’t been as easy and straightforward as this. His hands slid down and cupped Judah’s ass. “Feels so good.”

“Pants off? Think maybe we keep the underwear on but zippers are cruel and trust me, you don’t want a blister on your dick. Been there, done that. Do not recommend.”

There was more laughter as they wiggled about. Neither of them wanted to get up, to pause the contact even for a moment. Once they were free of the jeans and their cruel dick blister giving zippers Bobby moaned loudly and grabbed Judah’s ass again. He could feel Judah’s cock, how hard it was, and the moisture. Bobby rolled his hips and arched up against him. “Sweet sleigh bells!”

Judah just smiled and kept kissing whatever part of Bobby he could reach easily. Neck, shoulders, face. It was always nice to be able to be affectionate instead of just straight to the point sex where the only thing that mattered was an orgasm. If he just wanted one of those, he could masturbate.

“Good hu?” His voice was breathy, “So much I could show you …”

_Let me keep you._ Bobby didn’t dare say those words. It was less than twenty four hours and Judah might well wake up with better sense. He’d already been in the middle of a fight. Danger was going to follow him, and there was the fact that people would hate him just for being near a mutant. It was a lot, too much even. So Bobby didn’t say it but he put it all into the desperate needy kiss that followed. 

“Bobby …” Leaning their foreheads together he gasped and then whispered, “I’m gonna …”

“Oh yeah, me too.” All he could do was moan. His hips did what was necessary, his arms held Judah close, and he moaned. The pleasure washed over him in waves, and from the look on Judah’s face he was feeling a lot of the same things. It was better than all the straight sex he’d ever had. The way he tingled all over without a hint of that weird sensation he’d come to associate with sex. There was nothing but pleasure here. Nothing but desire.

With a little huff he stopped holding himself up and just relaxed into Bobby’s arms. “Mmh, that was amazing. You’re amazing.”

“Mm, an adjective that suits both of us.” Bobby pushed some of Judah’s hair back off of his forehead and chuckled softly, “You’re the best.”

“Stay with me tonight? I’ve got clothes you can borrow and a shower, and a big bed. I – I really don’t want to say goodnight.”

“I can stay?” Bobby grinned and kissed Judah’s cheek. He was beaming. “Yeah, of course I’m gunna stay. Have to head out early but we can meet back up? I’m not leaving LA right away.”

“Once I can move again, I’ll give you my number.” Judah smiled right back and felt his heart skip a beat. Bobby wanted to stay and he even wanted to meet again. This was the best goddamn evening of his life.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken makes his move on the school and everything goes to hell.
> 
> [Covers Iceman 2017 Issue #09 - 10]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Attempted Murder, Canon-typical Violence, Sexual Assault, Pheromone use, Referenced/Implied Child Abuse
> 
> [Reflections](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13525599/chapters/31026399)  
>  Chapter 01 happens before this chapter. Bobby has to talk to his own teenage double because the little him has some questions and is hoping adult him has answers to them.
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Everything had changed after he touched the Death Seed. It was almost like being with two different people. There was the Daken that made sure he had something to eat regularly, who checked him over for bruises and listened to his problems. And then there was the Daken that demanded more of him, put him in a tent, and pushed him hard in training. The asshole Daken, the one that was always pushing did all sorts of weird things, quoted books pretentiously, dream up strange tests, and was rougher than the danger room. It was strange and sort of unsettling the way the two personalities switched back and forth. Zach never knew what to expect from moment to moment. However, he had learned a great deal in a very short period. Each time he touched the Death Seed he felt more and more confidant and Daken seemed to share that feeling.

This plan had taken time and a great deal of effort. Zach had watched as Daken gathered the information, paid a person here, and set a bug there, read over Drake’s social media, and recruited decoys. It was brilliant, genius even. Daken had thought of most everything, even what to do with Zach’s troublesome classmates. The security system around the school didn’t see them, couldn’t see them. They stood back within a stand of trees, out of sight, watching as people arrived at the party. 

“I think he’s just totally forgotten about me.” Zach crossed his arms over his chest and breathed out heavily. 

“In a few years you’ll understand that once a guy gets some quality dick to play with, nothing else matters anymore. The little Snowflake is going through puberty all over again.”

Daken said it absently while he watched Bobby and that boyfriend of his walk into the school. They both smelled of sex, want and affection. It turned his stomach.

Bobby was getting some and enjoying life while his student was ‘ _kidnapped_ ’. The fucking Icicle had been so pissed he put several holes into Daken’s body and the moment he could get laid, none of it mattered anymore. Despite what Daken had just said, he didn’t quite follow that logic himself. He knew it was true for people but he failed to see the appeal. Sex was a tool. Something to use when needed. Not some all consuming need.

“So he clocks me to knock me out, brings me to the school, gets pissed off when I run off, chases after me and then just … he forgets it cause he’s too gay to think about anything but sex now?” 

“Welcome to reality, kiddo. That’s how most men work. Give them sex and they forget everything else.” Daken shrugged, “Maybe when you’re older you’ll use the knowledge to your advantage. For now, don’t think too much about it.”

“So we go in, we take them all out, you make Drake pay, and we come out with the information.” Zach looked over at Daken, curious which personality it was, the gruff big brother type, or the petty asshole type. 

“Not quite.” Daken smirked at the boy. “I want you to go in there first and get the students into the Danger Room, Amp. I need them out of the way as much as the adults. Most of them are harmless but they do have the kid Apocalypse and that future Phoenix host with the ridiculous pink hair. I don’t want either of them messing this up.”

Being called by his code name made him glow. “I knew you had a plan for that Daken.” He smirked and nodded his head, “Between that and the fake Purifiers we should be totally covered. These idiots are never gonna know what hit them.” _Amp, hell yes I’m Amp!_ “I’ve got the security system totally under control. You want any juice?”

“Not yet. I am going to sneak in while everyone is busy getting drunk and stuffing their faces.” Daken reached over and fluffed that black hair, “Go on, Amp. I know you’ll make me proud.”

Playing the kid was one of the easiest things Daken had ever done. So starved for approval, attention and validation. It didn’t matter what he did with Zach, the kid would just keep coming back. A starved soul was always easy to play. _Yeah, you know all about that, don’t you? You were the kid desperate for validation years ago._

* * *

There was no way that they’d gotten a noise complaint, and there was no way that Kitty just needed to chat with Ororo. He was still angry at her for being pig headed about his move but he was concerned as well. Not only for her but for Judah, if there was danger here then Judah was in danger.

He put his arm out as Piotr walked by and slowed him down, “Yo Russian Dumpling, what’s _really_ going on?”

“Katya did not want you worrying. There is a mild threat.” Pioter sighed and shook his head, “Stay here. We are handling it.”

Bobby was about to speak, to call Piotr back as the man walked on but found no words to do it with, and was further silenced by what was said over those broad shoulders. 

“And Bobby? She just wants to know that she matters to you.” With a sad shake of his head Piotr walked on at a brisk pace. There was no more time for talk.

It stung as much and more than most of the barbs he and Kitty had been trading ever since he made his choice a week ago. Bobby put an arm around Judah who had been easily distracted by the crowd and missed the quiet exchange between himself and Piotr. It was time to stash his lover somewhere safe. The halls were fairly empty, far more empty than he would expect them to be. There were no kids lingering about. “Come on cutie.”

“We’re not going with everyone to the bar?” Judah turned back to Bobby and cocked his head. He had been distracted by all the new people around him. So many names, so many powers. And also so many lovely men to look at. Judah was with Bobby and he had no plans to cheat, not at all. It was just nice to look at hot people. And apparently one of the must haves of super heroing was to look like a supermodel.

“No … not yet at least. I’m gonna play super hero one more time and tag along with Kitty’s team.” The far away look on Judah’s face hadn’t gotten past him, but it wasn’t a big deal. In fact Bobby wasn’t sure if maybe he’d been sending out the wrong signals himself, “Sidebar I think I just got hit on.”

That got his attention. “What? Who? Who do I have to fight to keep you and how dead am I going to be for trying?”

“No one. I think he’s just feeling weird cause he’s _‘on a break’_ and doesn’t want to admit that he’s going to end up begging for his guy to take him back.” Bobby shrugged, “It’s weird realizing that I was never really alone with this whole gay thing you know?” He chuckled a little and shook his head as they came to the top of the stairs. “And don’t worry about this. The school’s got a security system, and we’ve got just about every X-man here. But I wanna stash you in my room with a few makeshift ice weapons just in case.”

"It's cute watching you internally debate whether I'm a damsel or a sidekick." Judah chuckled softly and looked at his partner with deep affection. Bobby was sweet and caring in this comforting way without ever treating him like he was incapable of functioning or something like that. _Can’t wait to have you close to me in LA all the time._

There. Daken leaned around the corner and glanced at the pair. Bobby Drake with his own civilian slice of meat to fuck. Adorable. They looked oh so in love with each other. As if love changed anything in this rotten world. 

“You’ve got the wifi password, I should be back in less than an hour … you’re totally safe here.” There was this strange feeling, like he was being watched, and something else, something that had been bothering him all night. Where it had been vague before it was loud now, obnoxious and almost nauseating. Bobby pushed those feelings aside as best he could. “So don’t worry about anything. Scuttlebutt is that we've got a batch of purifiers doing an encore of 'Storm the mansion'. If for some reason you run into one, ask what their favorite psalm is to buy time --"

**" __** _Expert_ advice, much cunning." Daken smirked as he came around the corner and lazily leaned against the wall, arms crossed in front of his chest. The look on Bobby’s face was wonderful but the stench of fear was even better. The adorable boyfriend seemed smart enough to immediately recognize danger. Points for him.

" **Loving** your idea of a party, by the way. Very ABC Family.” Cocking his head he said, almost offended, “I suspect my invite got lost in the paperless post?"

_This is no problem, I can take Daken out in an instant, no fancy stuff this time, just freeze him!_ “Daken!”

Nothing happened. Daken stood there smirking, Bobby remained flesh and blood. _Shit, shit, shit. Zach! How am I going to ..._

" _Oh no_ \-- your **powers!** " Daken moved across the hallway in a matter of seconds and then he had the precious little Snowflake pinned against the wall. _How you are liking that hu? Not so fun when you are the one pinned and I haven’t even put any holes inside you … yet._

"One Mutant's trash ... is _my_ treasure."

“S’up teach.” Zach came out from the other side hall behind the normie boyfriend and lifted his head in greeting. 

It was hard to speak with Daken’s extra beefy forearm pressed against his throat but Bobby managed it, “It’s not too late Zach …”

“Not too late for what teach?” He held out his arms and cocked his head, “Come on, do I look like a used up pawn to you?” His hands smoothed down his blazer. Zach knew how good he looked, and it felt good. As did holding back the security system _and_ Drake’s powers.

"You look like a Daken clone, Zach." The words were rough and halting but Bobby still managed to make it sound insulting. 

"It's AMP now. You can't get under my skin anymore …” Zach cleared his throat and shifted his stance, already forgetting the human in the hallway. “I've leveled up so much, I didn't even have to concentrate to turn down the security systems here."

"Clearly I've already affected you both enough that you distracted all my friends and have me in an unfair fight.” He glared from one to the other of his tormentors, “Real upstanding, Zach."

“It’s Amp --!”

Who was this? Bobby had called him Daken but that didn’t ring any bells for Judah. It did not need to either. There was no doubt about this one being on the _bad_ side of the spectrum. If he could just buy Bobby a moment - "Bobby -- NOW!"

Daken turned with ease and his other hand closed around Judah’s throat. "Oh, lookit. A damsel, to be sure." What a fool. Daken would have let the pathetic human run and hide but no. No, he just had to play hero for his boyfriend. What was it with people who fell in love?

Giving the young man a once over he said casually, "Training wheels are barely off and you land some grade-A kosher beef, Icepop.” Glancing back at Bobby he smirked, “I'm impressed."

The things Daken said disgusted him. It was the sort of gross filth that a jealous ex would say. The desire to just rip right into Daken was there too. It reminded him of the night at Mean Time, of how brutal and violent he had been, and it made him physically ill. Bobby tried to wiggle free but Daken was well positioned. "Leave him out of this."

"Does that ever work? _Leave him alone!_ Waah." Daken rolled his eyes in exasperation and pressed a little harder against Bobby’s throat.

Everything was looking pretty bad. Zach was smirking like a gremlin and Daken looked to be working himself up to something. That or he was ranting because he enjoyed the sound of his own voice.

"Did _you_ leave _**me**_ alone when I was trying to have a civil conversation with AMP a few weeks back?" His heart was hammering in his chest and Daken felt the overwhelming urge to dig his claws into this pseudo hero. Make him experience the same kind of pain and distress that Bobby had caused him. But there were better ways to hurt a fool in love.

"I don't think he **wants** me to leave him alone ...” Daken leaned in a little, voice dropping into a low, husky tone. “Isn't that right, Judah?"

What was happening? Judah knew that this was a bad situation and yet he was arching into this man’s touch as if he had been starved for attention. "Your skin feels ... **really** good …"

His lips curled into a smirk, "I bet you miss being touched by someone who actually knows what he's doing." Without another word Daken pressed their lips together and was almost a bit surprised at the enthusiasm that greeted him. He wasn’t pushing this guys buttons that hard.

After a moment he let go, pushing Judah to the floor and even moved away from Bobby. " **Nothing.** No spark. Romance is dead."

Bobby ducked and tried to catch his breath. Even without his powers there were few things he knew better than fighting, the thing was he had to completely change up his normal strategy, and he definitely needed air to do it.

No one said anything so Daken just went on talking. For years he had been dealing with that Seed festering inside him and there was a hell of a lot of things he wanted to get out.

"That word. _**Nothing.**_ It defines my whole life -- and afterlife. And life again. I've been a killer, a pawn, a ' _good_ ' guy, a ' _bad_ ' guy ... this whole mortal coil has taught me that beyond absolute power, everything else is ... **nothing**."

Turning his back on the pair he closed his eyes for a second and then went on, "Then there's you, Bobby -- _**the shining paragon of optimism."**_

Though he wanted to go to Judah Bobby focused on the threat. That was Daken. He stayed aware of where Zach was, and balled his fists, ready to fight. _Do you ever shut up Daken? Every word you say just makes me want to bite your stupid handsome face off._

"It took a long time to shake your dumb lessons out of little Z, who's instrumental to my ' _get out of jail free'_ card." Daken almost laughed but instead there was just a short pause as he grit his teeth. The Seed had been gaining more and more control. If he didn’t do this now, he would never be doing it.

"You see, I've got an Apocalypse-y Death Seed in me -- which, if I were following the rules, means that one day I end up being a pawn _**again.”**_ The ghost of a hand around his own throat still lingered. It had not left him since that night where Zach had disobeyed him. The nightmares filled with _him_ where so bad now that Daken simply had not slept for the past three days.

“There's all this potential power inside me, but I don't get to use it unless I'm servicing a Demigod with blueberry fruit roll-up for skin? _**Rules are dumb.**_ "

Turning on his heel he reached out and put his hands on Zach’s shoulders, "You ready to make me proud? Find the Seed's energy -- amp it 'til you feel a change in the air ... keep the Apocalypse of it all down."

This was it, this was his moment. Zach smiled as the two asshats stood there in the hall, useless. “We got this!”

"Atta-boy." For just a moment Daken managed to smile and genuinely felt proud of the kid. It faded quickly though. 

Turning back to the couple he smirked, put his hands together and said, "Namaste. Catch you on the other side, Icedork."

Terror, that was what he was feeling. Bobby was well accustomed to this sensation. This was the stuff nightmares were made of, and yet there was a part of him that was excited. "Daken, you have no clue what the Death Seed will --"

Zach embraced his gift and closed his eyes. He reached into Daken, followed that taunt rope between them, and touched the core of that second power source. It was there, vibrant in neon and ash. All it took was a little push, a nudge, and then -

_**VOOOOOOOOOOM** _

He and Judah had both been knocked on their asses by the sickly blast of neon green energy which had erupted out of Daken. Bobby turned to pull himself up and caught sight of what Daken had become, “Oh my God …”

"God's not here but his powers are." Daken felt like – there weren’t words to describe this sensation. It was as if the world had just turned from black and white to full high definition color. This was _more_ than what he had felt during the time he had served the apocalypse twins.

Smirking he looked at Bobby for a moment asking, "Need a pop culture reference to cue being scared as shit, or am I enough for you?”

There would be no reply. Daken knew because the little Snowflake was too terrified right now. He smelled like fear and desperation. It was exhilarating. Daken savored it for a moment but then refocused on Zach, "How we doing over there, AMP?"

"First time playing tug-o-war with power level -” He shifted his stance but remained totally confidant even as he mentally fought with the death seed, “- the Seed wants more noise, but I can handle it."

_If Judah will run I can keep Daken busy. I’m who he really wants._ Bobby swallowed and tried to get ready for what he had to do. _Break a vase, use it to cut him open, get to what’s inside - Wow nope, brain stop it, stop that. We do **NOT** want the seed. Bad bad bad brain!_ Bobby looked at Judah who was looking at Daken, who was taller, buffer, and bluer now than he bad been before the ramp up. _Oh shit this is not going to be good. Think Drake, think!_

"Good .. 'cuz I'm feeling **great**." Daken rolled his shoulders and for a second glanced at himself. Blue skin. Now he was a blueberry fruit roll up too. There were probably worse things. And his claws had doubled in size apparently which Daken was not entirely sure did much but okay.

"All my research on the Death Seed has talk of previous Horsemen needing to die ... or a catastrophe of some sort to start this fire." Looking over at Bobby he met eyes with him for a brief second and then he had Judah in his arms and his claws embedded in his chest through the back.

"Hope you got a fridge big enough for him.”

“NO!”

This was what he had always feared. Judah wasn’t Bobby’s first civilian romantic partner. He’d always worried about Opal, always worried about all of them. This was the worst thing he’d ever seen. Those big black claws ripping right through Judah, through his chest. Bobby rushed forward, “You want me angry? Here's payback!”

"Too slow.” Daken laughed a little and just turned his attention over to Zach, "AMP give my mouse his powers. I want to go for a test-drive before I take on X-men mauve or whatever. Oh and check in on generation forgettable. If they're not dead yet -- _**make it so**_."

Zach did as he had been told and Daken grinned, "There's my snowflake!" Now things would get interesting. The urge to rip into Bobby was overwhelming and any thought of the plan he had going in here was completely forgotten. Daken was giving into the Seed and he didn’t even notice at that point.

Normally Bobby would have been all gab and bad puns. Now there was none of that. His priority had to be beating Daken as quickly as he could. That meant fighting hard and smart, and even dirty. There was a part of him that was screaming for Daken’s death and the fact that Daken had just stabbed Judah was making it extremely difficult to ignore that angry voice. 

Bobby did what he could by directing the fight _away_ from Judah’s prone form, hoping that someone would find him and be able to take care of him without Daken’s loud blue face seeing. Encasing Daken in a sort of ice hamster ball he sped them down the hall and stairs. 

* * *

Amp watched the kids in the Danger room for as long as he could force himself to stay interested. They were all stupid. He hated all of them, hated how they got along, how they watched out for each other, how they functioned as a team. There’d never been any of that for him, never a spot for him. No one had ever tried to bring him into their group.

With the MGH tingling through his system, and the excess of evil mojo deposited with the losers Amp put on his headphones and went for a walk. There was no one here, the great X-men had all been tricked. It had been so easy, so perfectly easy. Amp couldn’t help smiling and singing along, “It’s my party and I’ll _die_ if I want to. I’ll _die_ if I want to …”

“Zach! That two timing, scum-sucking, west coast brat!”

“Michaela …”

“Keep Judah alive I’ve gotta beat the crap out of that wuss.”

_Oh shit!_ It wasn’t that he couldn’t fight, they’d trained in that too, it was just that he was feeling strange and almost outside himself. His mind was occupied with things beside the physical coil, with energy, and the complexity of the death seed. Running was going to work out better for him than fighting. _I just have to figure out where Daken is …_

* * *

_Kill. Kill. Kill them all. Kill them._ The thought kept circling through his head like a broken record. Daken was trying to focus on the fight but he was more busy attempting to stay in control. At least to some degree. The damn Icicle was good and he was pissed off but not enough to become easy prey. It was infuriating. "Bring on as many snow clones as you want. You literally cannot kill me."

The fight had gone on more than long enough for Bobby to have a heart to heart with himself. Initially he’d wanted to just end Daken. There was a fifty fifty chance that Judah was going to die. Bobby had seen Michaela and Idie with Judah, and that gave him a lot of hope, in fact that was the moment he knew that he had to squash the feelings of rage and greed inside of himself and focus on everything Laura had said about Daken, about her brother.

That wasn’t easy because she wasn’t really all that talkative. Lucky for everyone Gabby was, and Gabby brought Laura even more out of her shell. Add to that what he’d heard from baby Warren in relation to the guy and Bobby had a pretty clear picture of who he was, and he was kicking himself for not trying to appeal to that sooner. If he’d not been thrown so off balance by the strange siren call of the Death Seed inside Daken all of this might have gone differently. Instead they were here, Judah was potentially bleeding out on the floor, and the school, all mutants even, were in grave danger. _Yeah, just another day of super heroing._

That was why they were outside. Why they were in the air, and Daken was forced to fight on his ice slides, because he needed every advantage he could get. The clones weren’t working, he had to get more creative than that. The ice hand which emerged from the end of a slide seemed to work just fine. It at least bought him time, "Not trying to anymore.” Bobby took a deep breath and then moved, reaching out for Daken from every angle, “For as much as I loathe the nihilist abyss that is your life, I'm still gonna save you --"

"Will you though?" Daken knew he currently had no way to get out of this but he certainly did not want to be _saved_. It made him want to gag and then scream. No one needed to save him. No one. Not his sisters, not his fuck up of a Father and most definitely not Iceman.

It didn’t matter that Daken currently looked like a mash up of a bad shampoo commercial and 80s metal record cover. All that mattered was that he knew this wasn’t Daken. This wasn’t who he really was. Zach was alive, healthy, and totally unafraid of him. Laura, Gabby, and baby Warren, all had glowing things to say about him. Whatever Logan had seen in his son it had to be equal parts light and dark because most of the time Logan hadn’t wanted him dead, and he’d been a wreck after the time he killed him. So despite never having had much interaction with Daken himself, despite all the gross death seed bullshit, he knew that this was not him. 

“Yes.” _I hope I’m right about this._ Bobby cupped Daken’s head in his hands gentle and brought their lips together. He was frozen and Daken was hot, like he was an actual fire made flesh. Strangely it wasn’t really an unpleasant kiss. He couldn’t concentrate too much on that though, not when he was breathing frost directly into Daken’s body. _Michaela I hope you’ve taken Zach down gently but taken him down all the same. I need the evil mojo to stop if this is going to work …_

Time seemed to stand still for a moment as Daken just tried to process what was happening. Bobby Drake was _kissing_ him. There was a hand on the back of his head and this was almost a sweet kiss. If it weren’t for the lack of permission and the fact that he was being frozen from the inside. Again. 

_I’m sorry._ Bobby drew back and tried to act like nothing was wrong or different. “Can’t kill you. Can’t extract the death seed. But I think I just figured out how to freeze it.” The look on Daken’s face as he shattered the slide under his feet was confused and surprised. _You need to go now. Laura isn’t here and I don’t know where she is. I can’t let Kitty have you. She’s too caught up with being in charge, too worried about doing everything right. She’ll lock you up instead of looking after you. Please go find Laura. Please._

The fall was painful but Daken got on his feet as fast as he could and then he was running. The Seed was silent inside him and now everything was crashing down on him. Everything he had done with Zach. Everything he had said to Drake. Everything he had done to Drake.

_**I am what you will become.** _

Daken gritted his teeth, _What have I done to myself?_


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Temporary solutions are never real solutions. Daken decides to take more drastic measures to ensure he won’t be anyone’s puppet again. And Johnny is the poor fool who has to come help clean up the mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Organ removal, Gore, Self Harm, Self Surgery, Blood, Medical Procedure, Unclean Environment
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Shutting the door to his room behind himself Daken turned the key in the lock. His eyes scanned the space as he took a deep breath, checking for any scents that shouldn’t be there. Nothing. He was alone inside the rented motel room. With a heavy groan he sat down on the small bed and threw the coat off to the side.

A coat that he had charmed off of someone. Some poor fool who just happened to be the first person he walked into after running from the school. Daken had push a hundred dollar bill into his hand before walking away with the coat on. Ripped clothes and blue skin drew a bit too much attention. Attention that he could not afford to draw to himself in that moment.

Whatever Iceman had done, it had worked.

The burning fire that had eating away at him was gone. The intrusive thoughts had stopped and his skin had turned back to the usual warm toned, rich brown. It seemed that Daken should have just approached Drake and gotten a kiss and everything would have been sunshine, puppies and rainbows.

What a joke. 

**What a fucking _joke_.** Daken growled and angrily threw the nearest object across the room which was the little lamp from the nightstand. It cracked with a satisfying sound. The fire was gone but the anger and frustration were still there.

Daken had gained _nothing_ from what happened. **Nothing**.

Two months of training that poor kid and all the good it did was that Zach would need therapy now. Daken had been aware of what the was doing. He knew he was following in the footsteps of the person that had irreversibly messed him up for life. And yet, the realization of the effects - that was something he was barely beginning to have right now. He had almost beaten the kid. _With a belt._ In his bedroom. On the bed. 

A hysterical laughter followed and then Daken was up and in the bathroom to kneel in front of the toilet as he emptied the contents of his stomach into it. _I pushed him onto my bed. I was about to beat him. Oh heavens, I know what comes after that. I know. I almost -_

Another wave of nausea had him heaving and then Daken sank back, just sitting between the toilet and the shower cabin. Seven years, seven months, twenty two days. Daken closed his eyes and chuckled. All that time and he had not managed to ever really shake the ghost of _him_. Romulus still affected his every action, his every thought. He was the shadow that haunted his dreams, the voice in the back of his head demanding to be heard and the reason why everything he touched broke.

The fact that Daken had learned different coping methods and developed some sense of moral complexity changed nothing. In the end, it always came back down to him acting like Romulus has beaten into him for roughly fifty seven years. The moment anything influenced his self control, he was back to being nothing but a violent, deranged killer.

And now he could add to the list; _**Child abuser.**_

Daken closed his eyes and breathed in deeply. The one thing he had sworn he would never do, he had done for two months to an innocent boy who just wanted to be loved and noticed. Daken had abused a child who was _just like him_.

Pushing off the floor he rinsed his mouth, washed his hands and then went back into the bedroom. This place was cheap, filthy. It had to do for a night. Daken needed to think and assess his situation. There was a good chance the X-men would come after him. Regardless of his skills and his knowledge of them, Daken was not interested in starting a war with the X-men. He did **not** want to kill anyone on that team because Laura _**loved**_ these people.

Sitting down he pushed his hands through his hair and just breathed again. Everything felt like too much. A part of him wished that Drake had done a better job of killing him. Given the state of his healing factor, it might even have worked. There was a possibility for it.

 _I need to rest. Can’t think straight right now._ Daken kicked his shoes off and then lied down, not bothering with covers. Who knew how filthy these were? He would rather not wrap himself in the filth of other people.

* * *

It was midnight when he startled and sat up, heaving for air, eyes scanning the room. No one. No one was here. He was fine, safe -

The fire was back.

Daken rolled out of bed, switched the lights on and stared at his skin. Still human. Not blue. Not blue. _Okay. Breath. Think - it was ice. Ice melts. Ice fucking melts. Oh for the love of ... I am so fucked._

Pacing he tried to get his mind to cooperate and figure this out. There **had __**to be a solution. There was always a solution. The one thing that had really kept him alive all this time was his intellect. Not his healing factor. Not money. Not his skills in murdering or charming people.

Ice. _Ice!_ Daken stopped pacing and stood there with wide eyes. How had he never realized this before. The Death Seed was an actual object. It was not just a metaphorical name. It was an actual Seed. Something implanted inside him. And if it was put there, it could be removed. If Drake had frozen it, then is _had_ to be a real, tangible thing.

Daken looked around the room and then went to the bathroom. Towels, the first aid kit. A bowl of warm water. With that he came back to the bedroom. The sheets went away, he threw the pillows off the bed and spread out the, hopefully clean, towels. They smelled clean enough.

He had no knife on him but he didn’t need one. What he _did_ need was his phone. Picking it out of the pocket of his jeans he googled for an image of the organ placement inside the torso. Not that Daken really needed it, he knew the human body all too well but better safe than dead.

The fire always started in the pit of his stomach and when Iceman had frozen the Seed, that icy cold sensation had been in the same spot. Daken hoped that this implied that was the very spot where he would find it. He could not afford digging around inside himself without a plan. Not with the state of his healing factor. He’d end up dying from blood loss and shock.

Putting the phone down he went back to the bathroom and scrubbed his hands and the claws. There was no disinfectant around but it would have to do. All of this would have to do. He had no other option.

 _Call Laura._ Daken groaned and pushed the thought aside. He was **not __**going to allow Laura and Gabby anywhere near him again until this thing was out of him. The idea of snapping and hurting either of them - Daken refused to even follow that thought through. He was not going to do that. His sisters needed to be kept safe from him.

Sitting down on the bed Daken traced his fingers over the spot where he would need to cut and sighed. This was going to hurt. It would be bloody, messy, dangerous and incredibly painful. Or in other words; Just another day of his life. Daken had never forgotten what it felt like when Romulus cut him open and took organs as a punishment. He had never forgotten the agony of healing that kind of damage either. It was the sort of experience that stuck with a person permanently.

This was nothing in comparison. Daken had no intention of digging out his organs. No, all he wanted was the Seed. Just the Seed.

The only problem with this was that Daken was not entirely sure he would survive removing the Seed. There was a chance that it was the only thing keeping him alive. After all, Logan had drowned him and he had been dead. It had not been fake like a million other times Daken had played games. This time, he had died and then he came back as a Horsemen of Death. Chances were that removing the Seed equaled death.

The two options were to leave it and risk repeating all that had happened. Or to remove it and risk dying in the process. Daken did not have to think to know there was really only one option.

Touching the tip of his claw to his skin he paused. _Right. This place is not empty._ Reaching over he grabbed his belt, folded it and then bit down on it. That would muffle any sound he might not be able to keep down. Not that Daken didn’t know how to keep silent during torture.

Again he put the tip to his skin and this time pushed in. It hurt. Not as bad as one would expect though because if Daken had plenty of experience with something than it was getting stabbed by claws. It was the favored method of his dear old man to teach him lessons after all. Though, Adamantium was so sharp and smooth that it felt less painful than his own textured bone claws.

The cut needed to be deep but not too deep. Daken had to avoid his aorta, spleen and pancreas. Preferably also his large intestines because if he cut into those, all the care he had taken with setting up as clean an environment as possible would be kind of pointless. 

Sweat was running down his back. The bed was soaked with blood and he was starting to feel dizzy but the cut would do. Drawing his claws back he reached into himself and felt for anything that shouldn’t be there. It was an odd sensation to stick his hand into himself to say the least. Certainly not something Daken had expected to be doing. Ever.

There. There! Daken panted as he held the thing and then pulled it out. A sick sound accompanied the action and it was a very good thing he had thrown up earlier. The Death Seed was in his hand and it was _tiny_. Not what he expected at all. Not that he had time for that.

Setting the thing aside he grabbed for the first aid kit and started to sew himself back up. Anything that would make it easier on his healing factor to fix the internal damage was a good idea. Once he was done with that much, Daken reached for the bandages and wrapped them around his midriff. With some luck he would wake up mostly healed. 

After a moment of breathing and reminding himself that he had far worse pain in his life, Daken rolled over to the clean side of the bed and just lied there for a moment. It had been a while since he experienced that much pain and it seemed like he needed to build up his tolerance again. This should not have affected him as much as it had.

Daken picked up the seed, stared at it for a long moment and then tried to cut it. Nothing. It was like the thing couldn’t be destroyed. _Of course not. Fuck_. He had to figure something out.

In the morning. Now he needed to rest. Let himself heal.

* * *

The sun was rising and casting a soft glowing light into the motel room when Daken woke up in a cold sweat. His hands were shaking, his breathing was coming in little gasps and he was not quite sure where he was or how he had made it there. It took a good two minutes for him to catch back up to the events of the day before.

Sitting up slowly he made a pained sound and looked down. The clean bandage he had applied last night was soaked with blood and puss. _Oh. Lovely. Attempt number three on dying? Laura will be pissed if I die. Really pissed._ And Gabby would be devastated. Daken was not delusional about the fact that his sisters cared for him. Both of them had made this clear and undeniable.

Daken looked around and tried to assess the situation for the second time in under twenty four hours. This was difficult. The X-men had to be looking for him. And if the X-men were looking, they would inform the other Superhero teams. That meant the Avengers would be after him as well. And possibly the heroes that worked alone as well. He needed to think. He needed to - _I need help._ Gritting his teeth in frustration he reached for his phone and scrolled through the names for _‘Hot shit’ -_ his nickname for Johnny Storm.

“Come on, pick up …”

“Heeey.” The voice on the other side of the line sounded smooth but with a note of apprehension, “This is Johnny.”

Daken knew that tone in Johnny’s voice. Despite the current situation he was in, a mischievous smile settled on his lips and he said in a playful tone, “Oh Johnny _baby_ , why haven’t you called me yet? Was I _that_ bad in bed? I swear I’ll do better next time!” 

There was a long pause. Normally it wasn’t men that called him and said things like that. There had been one or two, but no one recently. The voice was familiar, and there was a chance - “Daken? Is that you man?”

“Why, look at you sweetheart, you are quicker on the uptake than usual. Yes, yes it’s me Matchstick.”

The heat on his face transferred into the flustered tone in his voice, “It’s been a long, long time. Between your allergy to friendship and sick romantic entanglement with death I haven’t seen you in years.”

“I know.” His voice sobered and Daken bit his lip before saying, “I am sorry.”

Johnny would have likely had something to say to those impossible words but it was just then that his ‘work’ phone lit up. It seemed that the X-men had reported Daken as ‘at large’ and ‘dangerous’. They were warning the Avengers. “Where the hell are you?”

“Shitty motel near Central Park, I’ll text you the location. Johnny … I -” He paused and then forced it out, “I need help.”

“Yeah you do. It’s a good thing we haven’t talked in years, no one is going to suspect I’m on my way out to you.” He licked his lips. “Should I bring anything?”

“First aid kit. Disposable gloves. Clean towels. Antibiotics.” Daken easily listed the things that he would need to handle this. It was not the first time. It would not be the last one either. “Pants, a shirt, underwear would be nice too.”

“You doin’ okay on cash?” Johnny was already running through how he was going to get everything. The clothes were easy, but for the rest he would have to go to the infirmary and that could pose an issue.

“Cash is not a problem. Dying might be one though. You know, for a change.”

“You can’t die on me. Sit tight, and do like … I don’t know, some sort of Japanese zen breathing or something.”

“That’s probably racist. Good thing I don’t care. Just … get here.” Hanging up he lied back down and ignored the dried blood on the other half of the bed. 

* * *

Having something to do, something to focus on, was a blessing. Mostly he wasn’t flying out towards the atmosphere anymore, but everyone was keeping an eye on him. In fact, sneaking away from well meaning friends was the biggest obstacle. It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate or couldn’t trust them, it was simply that Johnny didn’t want have the time to convince someone Daken wasn’t a danger. He wanted to go out and help his friend, and pretend for a little while that he wasn’t broken. He hadn’t seen Daken for years, since before the giant mess hand happened, whatever the hell _that_ shit was, and ruined his life. 

In the end he had managed well enough. He had everything in a bag, and had taken the least obvious car he had in the garage. It wasn’t inconspicuous but it was black, which meant it blended in a bit better than the others. He parked and checked the text from Daken again before he headed off for the room. There was no point to checking in. This wasn’t that sort of place. Johnny didn’t knock on the door either, he simply opened it and came in. The place reeked of blood, and something else, something less good.

“So, this is romantic.”

That voice. The scent. Daken felt himself relax involuntarily even as he turned over a little to glance at Johnny. “’m the most romantic person you’ll ever know, Matchstick.”

“Are you? I’m not sure if that’s true.” Even as he spoke Johnny came forward, towards the bed, towards the smell, and all the blood. The first thing they needed was antibiotics. “You can swallow right? I mean … I didn’t bring a drip bag, I don’t know how to work any of that. I’m not Susan.”

“I always swallow.” Daken forced himself to sit up and bite back any sound that wanted to be made. No need to completely freak Johnny out. He was lucky the man had even shown up at all. “Just give them over to me.” Holding his hand out he looked up at Johnny and then frowned. Something was off. About the scent and the expression on that pretty face.

“Here, I’ll get you some water. Looks like you need it.” It was easy to tell Daken, even in his state, was judging him. Johnny quickly fled those knowing eyes, searching for a courtesy cup in this squailed and nightmarish hotel room.

“Not even going to ask why I am stuck in some shitty, dirty motel room? Or about the blood and so on?” Daken took the cup, swallowed the pills and drank a little before passing it back. “You can ask, I might even answer if you are lucky.”

“All that matters is that we get you out of here before anyone finds you.” Johnny went back to the bag and started to get out what he needed to clean Daken up better. “You’re shit at stitches, you know that? I’m not much better. If Reed were here he’d make perfect little stitches.”

“I had to cut myself open and stick my hand inside my body, Johnny. I was a bit too shaky to give a shit about the stitches.” Daken huffed and then forced himself upright. “This needs to be reopened and flushed out or ‘m never gonna heal properly. Fucking healing factor not working properly and making my life more difficult than it already is.”

The sight of the angry cut was more than enough to kill his normal humor, “So I need to scrub up.” Johnny got into the bag and found all the fancy little things that were in his super state of the art medical kit. “Lay back alright? My powers don’t work right anymore but my first aid skills are intact.”

There was a long pause and then Daken reached out, one hand settling on Johnny’s cheek, “What the hell happened to you? You smell like … grief and … death.” What Daken did not say was that he also smelled depression, self loathing and a bone deep exhaustion. Johnny was one of the few people that he cared for and despite keeping away from him for _years_ , that was still true. If Daken was honest with himself, and he never was, he had stayed away _because_ he cared.

“You’re filthy and I need to fix this gut wound.” With a swift rolling motion Johnny licked his lips and tried to contain whatever strange emotions Daken was bringing out in him again. Reed had tested him throughout Daken’s visits with the Fantastic Four. Johnny hadn’t known at the time, had no idea till Reed presented him with the data after Daken was ‘ _dead’_. No trace of the pheromones had ever been in his system. It had all been real, every bit of it. Which had only made Daken’s death harder to deal with. So looking at him now, feeling that hand on his face, it was all a bit much. “Hands to yourself.”

Daken startled and pulled away as if Johnny had burned him. There was a haunted look in his eyes and he turned quickly, getting onto the bed so he didn’t have to look at Johnny anymore. At least for a moment.

“Whoa, hey my man.” Johnny put everything down and came around to look at Daken, “I mean germs and shit. Not you, person you. Sue would take a lot better care of you than I can, hell Franklin would do better. I’m sorry for being an asshole.”

“But they aren’t here now, are they?” Daken sighed and looked right back up into these startling blue eyes, “And I wouldn’t trust any of them to touch me either way. Johnny, you know I stuck around only because of _you_. They never trusted me, they never wanted me in their home and when they had a moment where they did, they always questioned it later. As they should.”

“Reed was running some weird air quality tests the entire time you were there. He knew when you were using your pheromones. He presented me with the results when you were gone. I know you never did that to me, now lay back and let me take care of you already.”

“I am bad at letting people _care_ for me. I thought that much we had established.” Still he laid there and just started up at the ceiling. _Clever Reed. Always double checking. Always second guessing._ Maybe Daken had judged a bit harshly because the genius never even asked him questions about motives and plans.

“I’m bad at everything so get over it.” Johnny went back to the first aid kit as he spoke and broke into the special soap. He used one packet to clean up to the elbow and one to clean Daken from his hips to just below his pecs. The bright green liquid was thick, foamy, and left a strange tingling sensation behind it. After a few moments it began to evaporate. “Just … just try to breath.” Johnny had a pair of surgical scissors in his hand, _Shit!_

Daken bit his lip and stayed silent through the continued touch. Part of him wished he had picked Laura instead because at least her touch had _never_ made him conflicted. This was Johnny though. Johnny was _safe_. Even if Daken had trouble explaining why exactly that was.

“Hey.” Waiting for Johnny to look at him he smiled, “Relax. I did this last night with my _claws_. I am completely confident that this will hurt half as much. I can take it, pretty boy.”

“Right, well let’s test that theory.” Gloved hands brought the scissors down. Johnny snipped at the stitches and pulled them out. The smell got worse. He swallowed down whatever his body was trying to feel and simply opened Daken up. The smell got worse, and the wound was less than pleasant to look at, clearly infected. There was something in the medkit for this too. The cotton balls were blue, coated with some sort of antibiotic powder. The sight of fresh wounds was something he was used to, this was different, but Johnny just patted it all with the cotton balls and tried not to look at Daken’s face. 

_Breath. Shallow and slow. Don’t spook him. Don’t make a sound._ Daken did make a face at the smell though. That was disgusting and revolting. The things he would do to have a properly functioning healing factor again. This was why people said not to do drugs. Also better not hug the healing factor eating mutate. Both bad ideas. Only one of them his own stupid choice.

Glancing down he froze and then almost started to laugh hysterical. Daken had focused on not making any sound and the moment he was not occupying himself with that and only that, he felt something else entirely kick in. Arousal. _Of course. Yes. That is a brilliant idea right now. Pop a boner, make him run off screaming. Fuck. I thought – nothing has changed hu? Nothing at all._

“Why are you smirking like that?” The sensation of being watched had drawn his eye, and he’d looked away just as quickly. He was getting the rinse ready, it was safe to leave in the body, but there was a big absorbent pad to blot it out with, Johnny assumed to draw out any foreign objects. “You just think I’m that funny looking when I concentrate?”

“Anything ever that simple with me?” Daken arched a brow and then hissed. That pink liquid burned and then it felt cool inside him. Whatever the hell that was, it had distracted him from keeping arousal down long enough that it was obvious now. _Great, just great_. “I think you are kind of cute when you frown like that.”

“And I think you need to keep it in your pants till after I sew you up.” Though he was blushing Johnny kept working. He used the cotton pad to blot away the now purplish liquid. Things smelled a bit better, like disinfectant and honey. It was strange. Johnny washed his hands with more of the green stuff before he opened the next tools. 

“I have no clue what you are even talking about. I am not wearing pants.” Daken only had his pair of underwear on. The black dress slacks had been torn with his strange transformation into a smurf with extra claws. Whatever the hell the purpose of that even had been. As far as he could tell in his now clear mind, the extra claws had been more dangerous than any advantage they had given him. The whole transformation had seemed,like everything else, pointless.

“You are a fucking smart ass.” Johnny put a knee on the bed and brought his face close to Daken’s wound. “Just try to lay still so I can finish this up.”

“I haven’t moved an inch, Sunshine.” Daken breathed in and then closed his eyes. He could feel every single stitch acutely and part of him wanted to squirm but if he had anything going for him than it was the ability to be perfectly still through _anything_.

It took a lot longer than he wanted it to but Johnny got Daken stitched up. He then squirted some yellow dissolving glue between the stitches. It was mostly to make a better barrier between the outside world and Daken’s insides. Johnny leaned back and let out a deep breath. “If you want to start explaining what’s going on, now’s a fine time. I’m going to clean up, the clothes are in the bag when you feel like you can move.”

“I could explain or I could save you from having to know and just let you leave again. I think you should leave and not answer the next time I call.”

“You are a fucking asshole. You don’t get to use me like that.” Johnny finished putting everything in the disposal bag and then packed up the kit. When he stood up he was visibly upset. “I care about you, and that doesn’t have an off switch. I gave you space Daken, I didn’t go running after you. I’m not just going to leave you now that you’ve actually asked for help.”

There was a pause following these words. Daken stayed on the bed and let it sink in before he rolled over and dragged himself back on his feet. “A lot of things have happened, Johnny. I am not even sure where to begin. I’ve never talked about my life with you and somehow you decided to _like_ me so if I start now who's to say you won’t turn on me? I can’t resist you dragging my ass to the X-Men right now.”

 _How? How is he up?_ Johnny could not help but wonder how Daken could be acting, talking and moving as if nothing had happened minutes after being cut open. There was something eerie about it. About anyone being able to brush off pain and shock like it was nothing.

“Why would I take you to them when I snuck out to help you. I got an alert on my phone man. The Avengers are looking for you too. Apparently you did a lot of property damage to the school and nearly killed a human.”

Daken sighed and started to get dressed, “Alright, you’ve been warned so don’t complain later.” He looked at Johnny, “You know what a Death Seed is? You’re buddies with some of the X-Men so you might.” Johnny nodded and so he went on, “Long story short; I died and then came back by getting one of these put inside me. That was roughly four and a half years ago. I’ve been keeping it together, I learned to control it but nothing lasts forever so when I started feeling myself slip? I panicked. And that somehow led to attacking the school and attempting very seriously to murder Iceman while also casually stabbing his boyfriend after sexually assaulting said boyfriend. Because I am a wonderful person.”

It was a lot to take in but Johnny listened. When Daken fell silent he took a moment to consider what he should say next. “So you were temporarily insane? That’s why you went digging inside yourself? To take the thing making you super evil out?”

“It never occurred to me that it was a physical, actual seed – not until Drake decided to deal with it by kissing me to freeze my insides.” Daken shrugged and slid his shoes on. “If I had thought of it sooner … I would have done this years ago. Now I have no idea what to do with the Seed because I sure as hell am not letting just anyone take the thing. There aren’t many people who would not go instantly insane with the thing inside them.”

“Drake lasted a few months if I remember the time tables right.” Johnny shook his head and sighed, “I’ve got Reed’s fortune to work with if we’re looking at how to hide the thing. The best defense is letting the world think it’s still inside of you though. If I can ever get off of this stupid planet and rescue Sue and Reed then he might be able to help you.”

“Rescue – what?” Daken looked stunned, he was not quite following. “What do you mean off planet and rescue? Where are they? What the hell did Reed get everyone into this time?”

Johnny opened his mouth, and would have tried to explain the unexplainable, but he couldn’t help noticing where they were. His pocket vibrated as if to reinforce the clear and obvious need to leave. “Dude, finish getting dressed and come with me. You need to vanish hours ago.”

There were a million questions he needed answer to but if anything had been a constant in his life than it was the fact that Daken never received answers. It had been that way for as long as he could remember. With a short nod he put the coat on, pulled the hood up and slid the sunglasses on. “Lead the way then, Sunshine.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes expressing emotions with words would be the better solution but Daken has never claimed to make the best life choices. And Johnny isn’t in the business of handling life responsibly either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Oral Sex, Dubious Consent, Conditioning, Implied/Referenced Rape, Miscommunication, Friends with Benefits, Implied/Referenced BDSM, Implied/Referenced Gore, Implied/Referenced bad BDSM etiquette
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

This wasn’t a penthouse suite. This wasn’t some avangarde glass box. The place he was walking into with Daken was near Hell’s kitchen. It wasn’t affordable, nothing was in the city, but it was third floor, and unimpressive from the outside. Inside it was well decorated in Daken’s normal style. The space actually looked comfortable and sophisticated. Which was strange because it was spartan and almost unnaturally clean. “So, this is one of your hideaways. Nice place.”

“I have not been here in a while but it’s mine, yes. I still have a network of hiding places going.” Daken shrugged, “Old habits die hard when you are past your sixties.” Putting the coat aside, he took his shoes off and then said, “Get comfortable, order us something to eat and make sure to get some soda with it. I haven’t been keeping these places stocked and there isn’t anything edible here. I need a shower.”

The scent of blood, infection and a lingering hint of cinnamon was driving him crazy. Daken could not stand how Drake had managed to get his scent on him. There was something unsettling about being marked like that when he had not exactly been wanting to be kissed.

“Sure.” It was odd, the entire thing was odd. Johnny had taken the battery out of his phones on the ride over, worried that he could be used to track Daken. Eventually they’d notice that he’d gone dark, but not right away. It would buy Daken the time he needed to heal, and the time needed for this to blow over.

By the time Daken came back there were three pizzas, four servings of bread sticks, and two large salads set out on the table. The fridge had more salad and several bottles of soda. Daken had been honest, there was nothing here to eat. They’d have to order more if they stayed here, which created a footprint, but it was not the sort of thing that would come up unless the area was being watched. Johnny was sitting on the sofa with a piece of pizza nibbling at it as his soda crackled softly. 

The shower had helped him feel less disgusting and dirty. That was something but more importantly, Daken could _feel_ his healing factor working on the injuries and the infection now. It would take him a few days to be back in his usual shape but he would live. Again. Death seemed to hate him as much as his dear Father did. How ironic considering that Logan had killed him once.

“I smell pepperoni.” Daken came back into the living space with his hair done up and his own clothes on. Mostly. He had left the deep blue shirt unbuttoned and had not bothered with socks or shoes. “See, this is why I like you, you have good taste in pizza.” Picking up a slice he started to eat slowly while settling down next to Johnny.

“You put your hair up now?” Johnny looked at Daken with an expression that was more than a little bemused. The entire situation was was bad, but he couldn’t help noticing how pretty Daken was. It always struck him. The blood and impromptu surgery had put him off till that moment which might explain why it hit him so hard now. That or it was the fact that Daken was just very, very pretty. 

“Mmh.” Daken shrugged and finished his slice before saying anything proper, “Sometimes. Thought of growing it out but I like it the way it is. Just gets in the way sometimes and there is this amazing invention called hair ties …”

“It suits you.” Johnny took another bite and then leaned forward to grab his soda. “The longer hair, and the manbun.”

“Manbun?” Daken frowned, “You ridiculous westerners with your binary and your gender roles. I swear if there is a reason I leave America, it will be how much of a backwards bullshit country this place is.” Shaking his head he picked up another slice and added, “Not saying Japan is that much better but I doubt we have a term like that.”

“You’re sassy.” Johnny set his pizza down and leaned back. It was surreal, this entire situation. Part of him couldn’t quite relax. It had been that way ever since they’d been separated. Johnny was trying to continue to live his life, but that got harder all the time. “Also you’d rather argue with me than accept a compliment. Nothing’s changed.”

“Everything has changed.” That was not an overstatement. Daken could not have imagined himself where he was now, ever. To him everything after Romulus had just been a downward spiral that should have hit rock bottom when Logan drowned him. It should have ended there. Permanently.

Daken sobered and then looked directly at Johnny, “I - … I am sorry that I cut contact the way I did. I am sorry for never calling. I am sorry I left you to believe that I had betrayed your family and that I never meant anything I said to you. I am sorry _this_ is how we met again.”

“Shut up.” Johnny leaned over and put his arms around Daken, “You shut up.” His face went against that strong neck and he let out an emotional breath. 

There was a long pause as Daken just held on tight and let them both process things. Too much had happened in too short a time frame and Daken was still playing catch up with his own emotions and thoughts. After a little while he spoke though, “Weird, Laura said that people like apologies and that I need to learn to give them. I am not sure she meant a reaction like yours.”

“You are so, so stupid about this stuff.” Johnny sighed, “You never said things like that, never. You never apologised. I don’t know what your sister has done to you, I don’t know what’s happened. You need to know that I don’t care. I know alright? I get it. You fucked up, you didn’t mean it. I forgave you as soon as it was over. All I want is to not be shut out alright? I’ve lost so much and I just … I can’t take that right now.”

Daken reached up and cupped Johnny’s face in his hands, leaning their foreheads together, “I’m here. And I don’t care that the X-Men and the Avengers want my head on a spike. I am not going anywhere. I have things I actually care about now and it wasn’t – I didn’t _mean_ to do any of what I did. It’s still my responsibility but there is a difference between ill intent and accident.”

“Yeah there is. I’ll stand by you. If they wanna take you in they’re gonna have to do it over my cold dead body.” The sensation of their noses resting against each other did things to him. Johnny wasn’t sure if he knew what _love_ was. He’d once thought he loved Ben’s fiance, it turned out she’d been a Skrull, and he was just a dumb asshole. Still, Daken’s nearness and vulnerability did things to him. 

Touch had been a thing between them from the start. Daken had been stunned by the fact that Johnny would casually touch his shoulder, sit close and generally act as if he was not the least bit intimidated by him. After a short time that had turned into him doing the same and then -

“Johnny … where is your sister?”

“I don’t know. If I did I wouldn’t be here.” Johnny closed his eyes and tried not to think on it to hard. “If I had any lead, any information nothing could keep me from going to her.”

“She just disappeared? Reed too? What about - … the kids?” Daken swallowed hard. He had kept his distance from the children but that did not mean he hadn’t had some contact. They were annoying like any kid should be and sweet too. Daken had _liked_ them.

“Gone. It just … One day everything is fine. We were all together, and the next day Ben is off with the Guardians and I’m alone. Sue, Reed, Frankie, Val, they’re all just gone.” Johnny shook his head and drew back into himself, “People keep trying to get me to accept that they’re gone. No one can sense them, no one can find them, but … that’s not right. I know it isn’t. They can’t just be gone.”

“They aren’t just gone. No one is ever just gone.” Daken pushed his fingers through that soft, blonde hair, “But you have to let it go for now. There is nothing you can do, Johnny. And your sister would be so pissed if you drive yourself mad with worried. Susan is a scary woman, I do not want to anger her so I’ll make sure you think of other things.”

“Yeah, like how we’re going to keep you out of sight till everyone cools off. You didn’t kill anyone so chances are you can wait this out.” Despite himself Johnny leaned into the touch like a kitten. He was lonely, very lonely.

The way Johnny smelled, how he arched into his touch and the look in his eyes – Daken picked up on it easily. Johnny was lonely. And he was letting guilt and grief eat him alive. Johnny had always been too soft, too easy to anger and quick to become emotional. Daken never understood people who showed such vulnerability without a second thought.

“Shh … stop thinking, Sunshine.” Brushing his lips against Johnny’s cheek he shifted and then straddled Johnny’s lap. Sex was something easy to offer. Daken knew how to make people stop thinking by focusing them on their body and their own pleasure. Doing that for Johnny was one of the few occasions he might even find his own enjoyment in the act itself. Either way, it would give him a sense of satisfaction to be useful. “I can help you forget …”

“Nothin’ too rough, don’t wanna rip you open, gore isn’t really my kink.” All it took to get him going, to switch him from grief to heat was the tone of Daken’s voice. Johnny hated dealing with complex feelings. Sex was easier, and felt good.

That drew a low chuckle from him as his lips moved along Johnny’s neck, kissing and nipping at soft skin. There weren’t that many people who _were_ into gore. Real gore anyway. Daken had met a few who believed they were and just ended up disappointing in every way possible. There had been one who delivered on the promise of pain though. A certain psychopathic sniper who took him apart until his inside were exposed both figuratively and literally. And then he had left Daken to put himself back together just as asked. But that was a long time ago or at least it felt that way.

“’m not looking to be torn apart. Wouldn’t come to you for _that_ , little hero boy.”

His hands pushed under the fabric of Johnny’s shirt and tugged it over his head, not caring where it ended up. The sight made him pause for a moment to appreciate just how gorgeous Johnny was with these cute freckles on his shoulders and the combat honed muscles. Nothing had changed when it came to that and somehow it was comforting.

“I’m half your age but I’m not a boy!” A knowing hand reached up between them and twisted Daken’s nipple painfully. 

It made him moan and playfully swat at Johnny’s hand, “Don’t distract me, pretty _boy_ , I am trying to focus on you here!” Using the knowledge of his preferences against him was just unfair. Johnny was playing dirty and if Johnny did, that meant Daken could as well. Rolling his hips he ground down against that hardening cock as his lips and teeth focused back on leaving marks. Johnny could claim they were from some pretty model he had spend a night with, no one would doubt it.

“Marking me?” Johnny moaned and grabbed Daken’s hips. The friction was maddening, as were the nibbling, sucking, biting kisses. Daken knew he loved it and rarely allowed for it. Denying Daken had never worked out for him though, they both knew he wanted it more than he cared about any potential comments. 

All the reply Daken bothered with was biting down on the spot where shoulder and neck met. The gasp in response made him smirk and continue his journey south. There was only so far he could go though in this position and so Daken slid down from Johnny’s lap and settled on his knees. “Spread your pretty legs for me, darling.”

Not only did Johnny’s legs spread he scooted forward to allow a better angle. “Pizza not hitting the spot hu?”

Daken looked up through lowered lashes and smiled almost bashfully, a perfect display of innocence and mischief at the same time. “Maybe I’m just in the mood for a treat instead …” Daken reached out and started working on the belt and the zipper. A bit of tugging and the he had his hand wrapped around Johnny’s cock and was leaning up to get a kiss before his mouth would be otherwise occupied.

It was like fire. The way Daken kissed, demanding and consuming. Johnny didn’t hold back when his fingers found their way into Daken’s hair. He pulled and tugged till Daken’s head was arched back, exposing his throat. Johnny leaned forward and gave it a good bite while his cock ached in the open air. 

“Johnny …” His own breathing quickened and Daken shivered at the feeling of sharp teeth. There it was. Somehow Johnny always managed to make him enjoy it. “Mmh, can’t blow you if you hold me still like this.”

“True.” With some reluctance he let go of Daken’s hair and leaned back. “Wouldn’t want to keep you from what you really called me for.”

“Ah, you know me too well.” Daken smiled sweetly before leaning down and starting to kiss his way up Johnny’s shaft. The scent and taste of Johnny filled his senses and Daken let that comfort him even as he wondered if this was really what Johnny thought of him. _Am I that good at faking it? Likely. Or he is good at ignoring the obvious._

The hands were back in his hair and Daken moaned softly in response to an impatient tug. Obeying easily he licked over the tip before taking Johnny’s cock between his lips and working his way down the shaft. It had been a while but Daken knew all too well how to keep his gag reflex under control.

A sharp gasp answered him. Daken’s mouth closed around Johnny, the heat worked its way down, inch by inch. Johnny yanked at the bun, Daken’s hair was already a mess. 

In response to the tugging Daken allowed his mind to drift, withdrawing into his own little world as instinct took over. This was easy. Comforting. Daken did not know how to be a big brother or a good friend. He didn’t know how to fix what he had just broken with the X-Men. But he _knew_ how to give head and make it impossibly good for the person receiving. As his thoughts kept drifting and his head bobbed, Daken allowed himself to relax a little and simply indulge in the moment.

When they had played together in the past it had always been fast and with the added thrill of getting caught. There was some worry that the Avengers or X-men would show up but it wasn’t the same. Johnny pressed up into Daken’s mouth and moaned loudly. The stream of snark and sass had died. All that was left now was the endless stream of needy thoughts. _So hot, that tongue, the way he wiggles his head a little, oh shit, oh shit!_

The twitch of Johnny’s hips told him all he needed to know and Daken backed off just a tiny bit to swallow more easily without making a mess. Lingering for another handful of heartbeats Daken glanced up, took in that beautiful expression and then pulled back. Johnny looked perfect like this. Hair a bit of a mess, hickies along his neck and clothing half on, half off. That was the reward for giving pleasure – getting to see that Johnny had indeed forgotten for a little while to worry about his family.

“Mmh, you always taste good.”

“You give the best compliments.” Johnny reached down to caress Daken’s cheek as he felt his mind bumbling through afterglow. It was an incredible feeling. Something he would never, ever get tired of. 

Arching into the touch he sighed heavily and closed his eyes. Soothing. Daken liked the way Johnny tended to touch him afterwards. “Considering I have enhanced senses, that is indeed very much a compliment. Trust me, I’ve tasted some disgusting cum in my life.” The quietness of his mind was gone again but that was fine. It had been a treat either way.

“You want more?” Johnny asked while tracing Daken’s lip. 

_No_. It was the instinctive first thought and Daken would have rolled his eyes at himself if that wouldn’t have been something Johnny would ask about. “Depends on what you’re offering …”

“Blow job, hand job, sex, cuddles, whatever.” Johnny chuckled a little, “I can’t get enough of you once we get started.”

There was a pause and then Daken chuckled, “We have an actual bed we can use. That’s new. Come on -” Getting up with a fluid motion he took Johnny’s hand and guided him to the bedroom. Where the living space had been kept in cool blue and white tones, the bedroom had hints of deep red and dark wood instead. The bed standing in the center of it could have easily fit four people and still have space left. Daken had a bit of a habit to thrash and turn in his sleep which occasionally lead to meetings with the floor if he didn’t have enough space to do that safely.

“Oh I get to undress you properly … exciting.”

“Yeah, you better get on it, my pants are turning into a tripping hazard.” There was a mischievous grin on Johnny’s face. He liked the room fine, but he’d hardly noticed it. Daken had pulled him from the sofa so quickly there hadn’t been time to fasten his pants back and they were sagging now. 

“Oh be quiet.” Chuckling he slid back onto his knees and got the shoes off with great care before continuing with the pants and underwear.

“You got all the silence you’re going to get out of me already, you know that.” It made him feel funny. The way Daken went to his knees, and the care he took. It was odd to see Daken setting things aside neatly while they were in the middle of this. Johnny didn’t quite know what to make of it. 

“Is that a challenge? Johnny, babe … do not tempt me to show you that I could make you shut up for hours if I wanted to.”

“Tempting but no, not today handsome.” Johnny smirked and drew Daken back to his feet. 

“What, never had an impromptu scene?” Daken chuckled and leaned against Johnny, desperate for contact. For touch and reassurance that he’d done good and that they weren’t doing more because he had failed to satisfy. It was this nagging self doubt which he could never completely suppress and which made him want to kneel and apologize.

“You know I’ve done a lot more than that.” Johnny pressed close as he gave Daken’s neck a sharp bite. 

“Do I?” The bite had him tremble and cling to Johnny’s shoulders, “I’ve only heard stories. Maybe you are just a good storyteller and should consider writing a book.”

“That’d end up being a hot mess.” The button of Daken’s pants was easy to open, and the zipper followed. “I’m a hot mess. Sex is about the only thing I’m good at.”

That drew an honest laugh from Daken and he pulled away to get the goddamn clothes off. They had played around enough now. “Touche. Well, sex and killing. I have two talents.”

“Twice the man I am. See, always one upping me.” Daken was nude and Johnny’s eyes were fixed on the feast of skin and muscle. 

“If you are looking for an ego boost, I don’t know if I am the right person to deliver but I can try …” Shutting Johnny up with a kiss he guided him backwards until they both tumbled onto the soft mattress of his bed. Only once they ran out of air and he found himself pinned down by Johnny, did Daken say more, “You’re a good friend and an excellent lover. Your sister is lucky to have you as her brother and the world should thank you more for being the hero you are.”

It was stunning, mostly no one said things like that to him. Johnny pressed close and hugged Daken tightly. “You’re giving me a lot of feelings man. A metric butt load of feelings. You’re a pretty great friend too okay? I … I … like damn man, you’ve got no idea what you mean to me.”

Something had changed. Daken blinked a few times and then sighed. He had ruined the mood for sex and made Johnny feel emotional and vulnerable instead. “I’m sorry … I didn’t mean to fuck up the mood.” _I am sorry. Don’t get mad. I am sorry ..._

“I got off, I … I mean are you okay?” Johnny wasn’t sure what to do either. Feelings were messy, they were dangerous. Punching things and fucking things was pretty safe most of the time in comparison. 

“Stay with me? I would prefer not to part ways like this.” Daken wanted to say that he needed to be held and kissed and reassured but he would rather cut out his tongue than ever admit any of it. The ingrained need to please and the urge to be petted afterwards were Romulus doing and that was a topic he would never bring up with Johnny. They were friends because they didn’t talk about his pile of issues.

“I’m not leaving.” Johnny held Daken close. “It was really good head, I’m sorry about the lack of reciprocation man.” He nuzzled in, trying on the idea of just being tender for tenderness sake without being drunk. It wasn’t half bad. “You know I’m better than that most days.”

“Mmh, I got more out of giving you head than I usually get from a fuck. We are very much okay, Johnny.” Cuddling up to that warm body he closed his eyes and sighed contently, “Orgasms are overrated. I can have these with myself. I can’t cuddle myself though or kiss.”

“You can call me for cuddles anytime. You know, I’d never admit it, but I’d pass up sex most of the time if it meant cuddles.” They were snuggled together, skin to skin, and things were somehow not at all sexual. “Maybe this is weird, and I don’t wanna ruin things but … you know I love you man? You have to know. That’s why you knew I’d come.”

“Oh shut up before you ruin my image of a hard, emotionless criminal.” Kissing Johnny’s cheek he held on tight and hid his face so that Johnny wouldn’t see him smile like an idiot.

“Right, that’s your image.” There was a long string of giggles as Johnny stroked Daken’s back, “Yeah, that’s it, that’s what it is, totally, abso-fuckin-lutly!”

“I hate you.” Daken said it with a deep fondness and warmth. He didn’t hate Johnny. Not at all. He loved this man in an odd, complicated way that was not quite romantic but also not like he loved Laura and Gabby. He wouldn’t have sex with someone he considered family. That was a line he had almost crossed once but that was a long story and not one Daken liked to dwell on. “Sleep now, pretty boy. I’m exhausted.”

“Mmm and then cold pizza.” Johnny nodded and hugged Daken closer. The last twelve hours had been pretty weird, but he wasn’t isolated and alone. Daken didn’t think he was crazy, and there was a problem he could actually work on. He closed his eyes and relaxed for the first time in months. This was something he could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am hoping not to see anyone hating on Johnny for this chapter. This was unhealthy and messy but it was because both of them got issues. There is no black and white here. No victim and offender. Just two people with a screwed up view on sex who haven't figured out healthy communication.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby gets an unexpected visitor while he attempts to deal with the break-up in quite interesting ways. Is he really **that** sort of teacher?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Filicide, Implied/Referenced Kidnapping, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Sexual themes, Depression
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

_I’m a funny guy. Good with kids and numbers._

Bobby stared at the screen and sighed. _Okcupid_ was a mess. A big hot mess. He liked taking the quizes. In fact he had taken about twenty five of them in the last three hours. Judah was back in LA and his contact information was still in Bobby’s phone. He’d stopped short of a total scorched earth approach thinking that he might have to make contact again and figured it was better to just have the guy’s number.So the information stayed with one important alteration; three ‘z’s in front of the ‘J’, which pushed it to the bottom of his contacts list. _If only getting over him were that easy._

With a sigh he pulled his phone out and checked his Grindr messages. Having just signed up he had a premium account and got all the bells and whistles. There wasn’t anything terribly interesting. Which figured. While he’d been busy with students earlier in the day he’d gotten three dick pics. None of them had really done it for him. While Bobby wasn’t ruling out a hook up he was not quite desperate enough to find someone who signaled their desire to make out with unsolicited pictures of their genitals.

He put the phone down and checked his _Match_ and _eHarmony_ inboxes. They were dry. He was paying for that crap and it was dead quiet. So he flipped back to his _Okcupid_ inbox and IMs and dared to actually look.

 **RedRose_68:** hey you’ve got great DSL!  
**SnoFl8_3141:** Uh thanks … what’s DSL got to do with this?  
**RedRose_68:** dick sucking lips hon-ney!  
**SnoFl8_3141:** Oh … okay  
**RedRose_68:** it’s a compliment dont act like such a homo

 _Is this really it? Is this what online dating is all about?_ Bobby groaned and shook his head. He didn’t want this, he didn’t want any of this. What he did want was to not wallow. He wanted to get right back into the game, and he didn’t want his next date to be found while in line waiting for shoes. _Is it creepy we wear the same size shoe?_

 

* * *

 

Life _sucked_.

Quentin sighed as he wandered the empty halls and tried to calm his mind by making himself tired. It would not work but it was better than sitting in his room and brooding over the fact that life sucked. Quentin wanted his powers back and he wanted them back _now._

Most of the students thought it was _funny_. Most of the adults were stuck between mild worry and schadenfreude. Quentin thought they all could kiss his rich, white ass. It wasn’t funny. It wasn’t.

None of them would _ever_ understand what it was like to be suddenly cut off from the one way he knew how to connect to people at all – telepathy. He wasn’t good with people, he had never been good with them. He was a fucking nerd, a genius, the guy in the corner of the front row who the cool people bullied. And yes, he had learned to _fake it_ but no amount of pink hair dye, sarcastic shirts and unreal disinterest could change that. The only thing that worked a little for him was to read people and attempt to be subtle about giving them what they wanted. And he wasn’t even good at that.

Benji certainly had not been taken by his attempts and yeah, that stung. It stung and Quentin **hated** this stupid feeling of frustration and disappointment. He couldn’t even retreat into his own mind because his mind was broken and any attempt to withdraw there ended in agony. _Phoenix fire burns._ Oh he had been a **fool** when he said that to the teenage version of Jean Grey. He had known _nothing_ about just what being burned really meant. It all made sense now – what he had seen himself become in the future. If this was what touching the Phoenix did to him, what unimaginable damage did being a full host really do?

Given that it seemed every single host eventually went batshit insane – well, Quentin was not exactly feeling ecstatic over the prospect of bonding with a cosmic space bird made of pure fire which would bring about death and rebirth because it knew nothing else.

 _What do you think you’ll do at thirty?  
_ _Oh just fucking burn down the planet after murdering my best friend and going insane._

What a bright, lovely future and what a wonderful thought to be stuck with because he couldn’t escape his own never ending circle of thoughts anymore. Ah the bitter reality of how things used to be before he learned to find quiet in his own mindscape.

A buzz distracted him for a second and Quentin pulled his phone out of the pocket of his jacket. _Oh. Huh. Someone at the school with Grindr whom I haven’t check out yet?_ There was a long pause as he stared at the profile and then Quentin was smirking and chuckling. Oh _yes_ , this was just what he needed right now. Someone else who was as miserable as him.

Turning left he went to Drake’s room and knocked on the door, trying not to look too amused already.

 

* * *

 

“Uh …” Bobby had noticed his phone buzz but he’d just made a new account on everything which meant that he was getting a lot of alerts so that wasn’t a big deal. What was a big deal was the fact that he didn’t really want anyone to know that he’d just made a new account on every dating app in the English speaking world. Before saying anything he closed all the open tabs and closed his laptop, hoping to hide what he’d been doing. _Bye bye Rose, and good riddance._ Once that was handled he answered properly, “It’s open!”

Quentin entered the room and glanced briefly at the slight chaos. All the strewn about clothing and the papers and the books - it looked like the chaos of someone who was not having the best of days. Turning his focus to Drake he smirked and cocked his head, phone in one hand. “So … Professor … do I qualify?”

“What are you talking about Quire?” Bobby pushed a hand through his hair and thought about getting it cut. Quire was smirking at him in that normal self assured way he used on people he deemed _below_ him. Outside of the expression and the fact that Quire was there at all the first thing Bobby’s mind locked on was how he dressed. It was a new thing he was starting to let himself be more actively aware of, fashion, and what people were trying to say with what they wore. Quire dressed well even when he was going punk, black skinny jeans, the light pink button up under a dark knit open front sweater, it was a good look. Even though Quire was about thirteen years his junior, Bobby wasn’t blind and Quire was almost old enough to drink. _You would never guess he didn’t have his gifts. I’d be a wreck._

“ _I’m a funny guy. Good with kids and numbers.”_ Quentin quoted easily, not even having to glance at his phone. That was going to be stuck in his brain for days on end now because that was how his brain worked. “Just wondering what the minimum age is, you know, technically I am legal …”

“You are legal but you’re more than ten years younger than me Quire, that’s … come on why are you even looking at my profile? You’re straight.” _Aren’t you? All the girls that complain about you with there being no boys that do the same would lead me to believe you’re straight. Never mind the fact that you’re the second student to hit on me. Rictor hasn’t been under my protection or guidance in a long time, but we lived together in Ship not long after I got out of college. He was one of the first young people I ever really looked out for. I remember giving him noogies and pep talks. I remember how awkward he was in his own skin, how earnest and eager to just do the right thing he was. What’s it say about me that Rictor hit on me? That Quire is hitting on me? Am I that guy? Do I come off as a cradle robber? I don’t … I’m not actually attracted to either of them. I have eyes, I know they’re both handsome men, but I don’t … they’re kids. They aren’t sexy. I don’t want to kiss them._

“Why do people always need a label for everything? Straight, gay, male, female, hero, villain – the world isn’t freaking black and white like that.” Rolling his eyes he shrugged, “I’m bored, I like to amuse myself with reading sad dating profiles and I got yours so ….”

“Oh, so my profile is sad. You came here to laugh.” Bobby rolled his eyes and pointed at the door. _At least you aren’t actually hitting on me then._ “I should have figured, but now that we’re on the same page you can see yourself to the end of this interaction and out of my room.”

“Not nearly as sad as most others I’ve read.” Quentin made no move to leave. This had been meant as a joke and now here he was not feeling like leaving. _Oh yeah, try having sex with your teacher. That is a brilliant idea. Especially without your telepathy working._

Bobby watched Quire for a moment and then his arm dropped. This was weird. This wasn’t how interactions between them normally went. This was new. Bobby gave Quire his best, ‘what the fuck’ face and asked, “Am I supposed to take that as a compliment?”

There was a short pause and then he sort of seemed to just drop the facade, for about two seconds before remembering that he wasn’t even sure he liked Drake. As a person. Quentin most certainly did not want to make himself vulnerable around – well anyone, really. “Nevermind, not my best idea. Blame the brain damage or just the fact that I was born an asshole.”

“You’re too young.” Bobby wanted to make that very clear. It wouldn’t happen. It was not even remotely on the table. “If you’re only here because I’m not the ugliest person on Grindr get out. If you want a friend you can stay. I’m tired of looking at random dicks I never asked to see and in the interest of being honest, I could use a little company.”

“Ha, now **_that_** I can relate to. Telepathy or not.” Quentin sighed and shifted. What had he been thinking coming here? _You are lonely, that’s what this is. You are lonely and mourning, and heartbroken and you also got brain damage._ “Look, I am not actually trying to hit on you. I am sure that would immediately get me kicked out of the school, again, and I kinda can’t afford that right now.”

“More likely I’d have to leave because you’re right, you need to be here.” With a sigh and a shake of his head Bobby considered what came next. “Sit down, get comfortable. You like pepsi?” _Is there underwear on the floor? Whatever it’s not like Quire’s ever been accused of tidiness or good hygiene._

“Sugar is always good.” It was strange to sit down on his _Professor’s_ couch not to get a lecture but to just talk. Like two people did. Lectures on his behavior were the only topic which he was used to talking about with the people in charge of teaching. What had he been thinking coming here? _Nothing, that’s what._

Bobby came back over with a couple of sodas and a bowl of cold snacks. There was string cheese, oranges, and apple wedges, his almost healthy go tos. “Here, have a cold one.” A bit of frost licked up the side of the can he handed to Quire. Bobby prided himself on being able to get a soda to that fraction of a degree before freezing. It was a trick he’d learned as a teen, and one he still used on the daily.

“Useful.” Quentin took the can and opened it, “Really, what a useful way to apply omega level powers.”

“You wait till the AC goes out in the middle of a heat wave. You won’t have that tone when I hand you a perfectly chilled effervescent liquid candy.” Bobby shrugged and opened his can. Once it would have irked him to have someone like Quire prod his pride, now it registered in an entirely different way.

“I’m generally more bothered by the cold than heat.” Quentin shrugged, “But I guess that’s true enough …” Trailing off he sipped from the can and alright, it was just the perfect temperature. Points for Drake on that one then.

Bobby saw the expression and just smiled as he kicked back. “So you like to laugh at people on Grindr. Is it just gay men you get your flames off on shaming?”

“Yes, I am a terribly homophobic asshole and I find it very funny to laugh at marginalized minorities.” Quentin said it with a casual tone and a serious expression. “Of course lesbians are great though because wow, twice the amount of tits? Great.”

“You’re twenty and you’re angry at everything Quire. What I’d call homophobic in others I’d just label as you lashing out trying to feel something.” Bobby shrugged. “And let me tell you twice the tits isn’t always great, it’s a lot of freaking boobs.”

“I feel plenty of things. Mostly boredom. Some annoyance, the occasional excitement of someone trying to blow the school up or locking us into the Danger Room to make out with you.”

That remark earned an eye roll and a heavy sigh, “That is the most ridiculous over simplification I’ve heard. Also you’re clearly trying to change the focus of the conversation. You really aren’t comfortable talking about yourself are you?”

“Me? I am not even a proper Mutant right now. What’s there to talk about? My good fashion sense maybe? Oh yeah, let’s talk fashion because clearly you are not blessed with an inherent sense for it.”

“First, I call bullcrap on that. You have an X gene. You are a mutant. Your powers are messed up, but that doesn’t change who and what you are.” Bobby took a sip of his soda and then shrugged, “Also I have a sense for fashion. These cargo shorts are very posh.”

“I can’t say shit against shorts because I like wearing them myself but you are about ten years too old to make them work now. And you don’t look enough like a twink.”

“I have incredible calves you are just a monster!” Bobby put a hand over his chest and shook his head.  

“Not yet, I’m not.” What had been an almost playful atmosphere took a hard drop with a single line and Quentin could have slapped himself for saying that. He did _not_ talk about this. It was a **_rule_**.

It did not take a telepath to read the room and know that things had gone down hill fast. Bobby was honestly worried. This sort of display wasn’t at all like Quire, “Look, I wouldn’t say that as a joke if I believed it. That was a really unfortunate bit of word choice. I’m an asshole.”

“We know what is going to happen. Eventually I’ll be a host and given how much damage I have sustained just from brief contact with the Phoenix …” Quentin chuckled bitterly, “Oh I will be a great future host. I guess at least the future version of me wasn’t outright Dark Phoenix at the time which means I’ll make it for a few years.”

“Time travel and alternate realities are sort of a hallmark of being near the X-men.” Bobby reached out and put his hand on Quire’s shoulder, “We know that the futures we see are rarely the futures that come to be. You can change it Quentin. That meeting with your potential future self doesn’t set anything in stone.”

“I asked him when I was going to get out of here. He laughed. He laughed and walked away. And guess what? I am still here. I left but I came back and now I am stuck here because I am a very easy target for mutant haters and supervillains alike.” The touch was something he normally shook off right away. People did not get to just _touch_ him. Benji had changed the rules on that already though and try as he might, Quentin could not deny he was a bit starved for this.

“You got told off because you’re a jerk ninety percent of the time and you know it. As to being placed with the life skills class that’s because you’ve never showed an interest in being an Xman _and_ because if you pulled your head out of your rich behind you’d be an incredible asset to your classmates. Case in point, what you did for Jubilee is a much better representation of who you are than the jerk act you put on.”

“Am I getting lectured about putting on a mask by the compulsory heterosexual jokester of the X-Men? Is that really happening?”

“Yeah it is, and since I lived behind a mask for most of my life I can tell you that it won’t work and that all you’re doing is hurting yourself and anyone who dares to care for you.” Bobby gave Quire’s shoulder a squeeze. “I’m not ashamed of what I did, but I am proud of myself for getting over myself and moving on.”

“Well, congratulations on the coming out. That certainly doesn’t sound like it was the most fun decision given the fact that your parents think obnoxiously loud homophobic thoughts and I doubt they know how to censor between thought and words. But I am not you. And thankfully I also do not have parents who even could get upset about anything.”

“You’re shifting focus again. I know, this is the same tactic I used for twenty years more or less.” Bobby shook his head, “I don’t know exactly what you are hiding, but I do know that you’re doing it. I also know that our experiences don’t have to be the same, that we don’t have to be the same person to learn from each other.”

There was a long pause and then Quentin sighed in frustration, “I never should have come here. What was I even thinking? It’s not funny to hit on a teacher, it’s creepy. Am I not a little old to be getting the big brother act from you Drake? Do you really want to get involved in my mess when you can’t even seem to handle your own?”

“I’m not Logan, I don’t have a penchant for girls of a certain age. I like you Quire, despite the fact that you try to make it hell for anyone who gets close to you, I like you.” Bobby shrugged.

“You make it sound as if I do it on purpose. And sure, sometimes I do. But when I try not to, it goes just as wrong so might as well.”

“Look, I get it, you’ve been burned.” Bobby let the pun be for only a half second before moving on, “I’m not made of fire.”

“Ever been into someone and no matter what you tried, you just couldn’t get it to work?” Quentin asked and then blinked, “Wait, nevermind. Clearly you must have been at some point and being in the closet would have made it impossible …”

“Yeah. That’s a big mood I can relate to. And even now he’s dead so …” Bobby sighed and shrugged. “Warren Worthington. The literal angel. That’s who I wanted when I was your age. I wanted to be with him so badly, but he’s straight and I was terrified of what he would say if he knew I wasn’t.”

“So you don’t consider that reborn version of him to be the same person?” Quentin had to ask. He was curious now and he couldn’t pick the answer out of Drake’s head.

“He isn’t. The memories come through sometimes, and man -” The look on his face misted over as his focus shifted back in time, “- It’s so incredible when I get some of the old Warren back. Don’t get me wrong I adore this guy. He’s my friend, but he’s not … this isn’t the guy I thought I might have been sort of totally maybe in actual love with.”

“That sucks. No, really, that is actually depressing.” Quentin shook his head, “At least I don’t have a thing for a dead person.”

“A dead person I’m never going to get closure with, Warren, my Warren, is never coming back.” After a moment he sighed, “It’s what happens when you live behind a mask and never let people really get close. You never know if anyone really loves the real you.”

“Good. I think I prefer to not know.”

“Yeah, right.” Though it was less than kind Bobby couldn’t stop himself from chuckling softly, “You don’t want to know if anyone really loves the real you. That’s what you want, to be totally alone forever. Right.”

“Hurts less than being disappointed. I am not ever really alone, if I have my powers that is. Right now … well, I suppose not hearing everyone thinking about sex and if they need to do laundry or if they can wear that pair of underwear a second time is kinda nice.”

“That sounds like a terrible stand in for real intimacy Quire.” Bobby shook his head and leaned forward to grab a string cheese. “Look, what do you have to lose right now? Give it a try, just with me. And if I end up hating you then you can wipe my memory when you get your powers back.” There was a soft sound as he opened the cheese, “I’ll put it in writing if you want.”

“So what, I just tell you who I like, cry a bit over not getting any and then it’s all okay? Is that how it works?”

“No, we hang out.” Bobby thought about it for a moment and then nodded his head with a smile, “Tuesday nights, it’s us, it’s movie or board game night or something. You show up here and we spend a few hours together. If we get time to hang out through the week great, but we always meet up Tuesday nights unless the world is burning down.” _And maybe I put you on my team …_

“The world tries to burn down quite regularly.” Quentin looked away for a moment and then sighed, “Alright, whatever. I don’t have anything better to do. Phoebe wants to train in the mornings so by night I might not be suffering from migraine anymore.”

“I’m no good with the sort of stuff you do so don’t worry, I won’t try to make you train more.” Bobby looked over, “You can tell me, who you like, or what you really want, or whatever. You know I can keep a secret.”

“That you can.” This was not what Quentin had thought this conversation would be. He had not even expected a conversation at all. Somewhere this had gone in a direction he had not anticipated. For a moment he said nothing before giving in, “I kinda … well, I _liked_ Benji. I knew by week two of Nathaniel being around that I had lost that battle without it even starting though. So I tried playing matchmaker and well, at least that turned out fine.”

“They might not last but you know, sitting around waiting for someone to be unhappy is basically horrible.” Bobby sighed an shook his head, “There are going to be other people.” _I hope I’m right, god I don’t want Judah to be the only man I sleep with._

“You are thinking of that freelance writer guy.” Quentin arched a brow when Drake gave him a confused look, “What? I don’t need telepathy to read people. It just makes things so much easier. Stop thinking about him, he clearly didn’t get the memo that superhero dating requires nerves made of pure Adamantium.”

“He saw it first hand on night one. He saw what happens. He didn’t get hurt that time but he should’ve understood. Maybe he was just too turned on to see, I don’t know, but it should have worn off. Instead …” Bobby sighed and leaned back again. He pulled off a section of string cheese and ate it woefully, “... instead he texted me everyday till he had me eating out of the palm of his hand.”

“Makes sense, first guy you meet hits just the right spot by not being a mutant hating asshole. He takes a random fight with a shrug and a kiss. And he probably gave you a good orgasm – boom there is the sudden crush. But maybe you should take a step back and look at it rationally because a crush isn’t love and someone who just ticks the most basic boxes of decency isn’t the love of your life.”

“Why do you think I’m on Grindr? I’m not wallowing. I’m getting back on the horse. We dated for about a month. I’m staring it in the face and refusing to feel too sorry for myself, even if that means wading through a sea of unwanted dick pics.”

“Dating is strange in the times of the internet. It’s why I don’t do it. Totally overrated anyway.” Quentin shrugged and then chuckled, “So you aren’t mopping about Judah … but you got that feeling of being hung up on someone, something anyway. Is it Worthington then?”

“No I’m just sad. That’s a thing that happens you know. I was really into this guy and I was going to move and really do things for myself for the first time in a long time and it all just fell apart. Kitty’s telling me I can have my own team but we’ll see if that ever happens.” Bobby shrugged, “So I’m just depressed. It happens.”

“Get some therapy maybe, it’s what people with depression are supposed to do. I guess that means I should sign up for it as well but telepaths are not easy to give therapy to. Or so I’ve heard.”

“I think you should spend Thursdays with Rachel. She’s the only one here that really understands what you’re going through on any level. If you tell her you want help she’ll move mountains to make it happen, you know that.”

“But I’d have to ask first.” Quentin sighed and then shrugged, “Fine. I already broke all the rules talking to you. Whatever. Might as well. No one is taking me serious after what I did for Lee anyway.”

“No, we’re all finally taking you seriously.” Bobby put his cheese down and put his hand back on Quire’s shoulder. “You’re a good person and we should have seen it a long time ago. You’re really good at putting up a wall. You tipped your hand when you sacrificed your Phoenix shard for her. That was totally selfless and it isn’t something any of us are going to forget.” His voice grew softer and his hand squeezed Quire, “I see you Quentin.”

“It’s terrifying.” Quentin stood up and shrugged, “If actually paying attention to students is your new thing, maybe talk to that brat Zachary. Before I fucked up my powers, I caught a few less than happy thoughts from him. Apparently two months with Wolverine’s equally bratty offspring are not healthy.”

“I’ll give it a try but this morning he just screamed at me. I’m not sure I’m the one who is going to get through to him.”

“Well, it won’t be Daken who does it now will he? You got his number before letting him run off? Yeah, I know you did that. I am surprised no one else has figured that out but point is, the asshole isn’t exactly going to come here and give Zachary a hug so someone else has to. Also not so sure he should be allowed around the kid even if he did show up.”

“You keep that between us.” Bobby had sat up and for the first time his body language was direct and assertive, “Everyone here is freaking out. They need to let this go and settle down. Daken has a Death Seed eating him alive from the inside. Once things quiet down Laura will go after him and they’ll work this out. So just keep what you know to yourself Quire.”

“Oh I am not telling anyone anything. It’s funny how they all think they can catch the guy. Did everyone forget that he escaped from the entirety of SHIELD after that Avengers crap with Norman Osborn? No one is going to be catching Daken if he doesn’t want to be caught.”

“Laura will find him as soon as it’s safe to find him.” Bobby repeated it and prayed that he was right. This wasn’t something he’d talked to Laura about, he hadn’t breathed a word of it to anyone. It was too delicate a thing to even think too loudly about. “You saw the news reports about what happened on Roosevelt Island right? You saw him passing out because he’d helped too many people.” Bobby swallowed, “That’s not the same man who took Zach, not the same guy who attacked the school and hurt Judah. It wasn’t easy for me to work it all out at the time, I kept getting too much interference from the seed, but I did, and that’s why I didn’t try to kill him. That’s why I let him go, because he’s Laura’s brother and I trust her, and I trust my own eyes.”

“So maybe he is not a complete asshole but can we not forget that he kidnapped Evan -” Quentin stopped and then laughed, “Oh right, _right_. X-Force business. People don’t actually know it all happened. Lovely. Nevermind.”

This was a touchy subject. Bobby knew that there was some messed up stuff that happened after the big split and Logan had been even pissier for a long time. He knew that and nothing else. There were some time tables that all lined up but even being best friends with Scott and the frequent drinking buddy of Logan didn’t buy him into the inner ranks of the X-Force bullcrap. He was too ‘nice’ and ‘not serious’ enough. “Yeah, I don’t know about any kidnapping. I know that certain people were gone at certain times, but that’s about it, that’s what I know. Are you in the mood to share? You looked like you were leaving.”

“Depends - are you in the mood to hear some truths that are less than fun to know? About everyone’s favorite dead headmaster?”

“If you mean Logan, then I already know he was a killer. I don’t need to have information about every messed up thing he did to know that.” Bobby patted the seat next to him, “Come on, the longer this talk takes the longer it is before I check my phone and see you know what.”

Sighing softly he settled back down and made a face, “It’s not that I _try_ to listen in on everyone’s big secrets but I can’t change that I will hear the things that people think about loud enough. And the whole X-Force business? Logan thought of that loudly and often. And then …” It actually hurt to think back because fuck, he had been so cruel to Evan and the guy didn’t deserve any of it. _And one day I will kill him._

“Pryde and McCoy took us on a stupid trip to Genosha, you know, learn all about the fun of genocide. Next thing that happens, Creed shows up. Fucker took Evan and apparently all of it was planned by Wolverine’s bastard son. I don’t know about most of it and damn, I am glad I don’t but I do know that they pushed and pulled, tried to turn Evan into Apocalypse and make him snap. I know Daken abused him because Evan isn’t exactly good at keeping his mind quiet and for months on end Logan spent every second thinking about it as well.”

Quentin closed his eyes for a moment and he could almost see it all over again. “Fun times when you are in the middle of a class and suddenly you get flashes from Logan drowning his kid in a puddle. Sure way to improve any day.”

“Holy …” Bobby blinked and shook his head. This was not just Logan snapping and killing some villain like Sabretooth or Graydon. This wasn’t Daken selling drugs. This was intimate and personal. This was Daken hurting a kid, and Logan drowning his freaking son. This was a giant mess. “... balls. This is just … balls.”

“That’s one way to put it. My point is, apparently Daken doesn’t stay dead when killed and he has a bit of a child abuse habit. So nice story on believing he isn’t so bad but I’m not buying it. Logan thought he was so far out of his mind that he killed him and it nearly killed Logan afterwards with pure guilt.”

“Maybe I made the wrong call but …” With some difficulty he met Quire’s eyes, “... I’ve learned to trust Laura’s judgment more than I ever trusted Logan’s. I’m not saying Daken’s not damaged or dangerous. I’m just saying I don’t think he deserves what will come to him if he gets brought in now, that more people will get hurt, and that it’s best to let Laura handle him.”

“Aren’t we all damaged and dangerous? Last I checked, there isn’t one person in this building without baggage. Not saying you made a wrong call, just saying you can’t judge anyone based on inadequate information.” Quentin shrugged, “It’s done now anyway and I’m not telling anyone. Going after Daken sounds like a death sentence unless you got a healing factor.”

 _Can I trust him?_ Bobby looked at Quire for a moment and then decided that if he wanted to be trusted then he needed to lead by example. _This is a good chance for me to prove to Quire that I really do think he’s a decent person. Let’s just hope that being an open gay man has done something for my ability to judge who is trustworthy. Let’s hope that pink haired twinky boys aren’t your red head. Let’s hope we aren’t secretly a Summers brother._ “Yeah, it sounds like a real bad idea.”

“Also, who knows … Logan was a shitty judge of character. Maybe he is the one who fucked up.” Quentin shrugged and then stood up again, “I’ve had enough conversation for about a month now. Have fun with the dick pictures, Drake.”

Bobby winced at the thought and just nodded, “Yeah … thanks. See you Tuesday Quire.” _God, I’ll actually do something Jewish if you please, please don’t make me see any more of those terrible pictures._


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken continuous his streak of bad choices but this one just might take the cake. Until his next one at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced bad BDSM etiquette, Implied/Referenced abuse, Torture, Kidnapping, Non consensual Amputation, Blood, Gore, Canon-typical Violence, Murder
> 
> **Note:** I suggest you read [this](http://archiveofourown.org/works/13410027/chapters/31787766) before reading the chapter.
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

The red numbers informed him that it was one o’clock and Daken gave a soft, exhausted sigh before he rolled out of bed. There was no point in pretending anymore. Johnny was sound asleep and would not be woken by anything less than Galactus showing up and the world exploding around him. Bless him. Sweet, trusting fool that he was. Daken would never understand people who could sleep as if life was not out to tear them apart and hurt them every second of their pathetic little existences.

There was no sound as he slid on his robe and left the bedroom. Daken made a beeline for the fridge. He figured he might as well could do _something_ with his time and why not let that be eating chocolate pudding and reading a good book? What else would he do given that leaving the apartment was not an option. Three days had passed but the X-men, and the Avengers, had not calmed down and retracted their warning regarding him.

It appeared that his little scene at the school would haunt him for quite some time which also explained why Laura had not called or texted him. Right now, Laura was probably burying her emotions for him and preparing to … put him down. Oh Daken had no doubt that she _could_ do it but he felt ill at the idea of her having to do it. The psychological damage of such an act – well, Daken had only been on the receiving side but he certainly had enough of an idea on how much it destroyed someone either way.

He still could not sit in the bathtub after what happened and maybe he never would. Or go swimming. But it was not just that, there was also the fact that he dreamed of it quite frequently and that the sensation of water in his lungs would randomly overwhelm him. Daken understood the concept of trauma and if she should have to kill him, it would haunt her like being killed by Logan haunted him.

Daken would rather kill himself than let that happen. Suicide was a bit of a difficult task however and there were easier options than that. He needed to disappear. Fake it then. He had plenty of experience on that particular act.

Johnny would be devastated. Gabby would cry and not understand _why._ But Laura – clever, cunning Laura – she would get it. She would likely know he was alive and she would leave him be. Because she _loved_ him. Love. That dreaded word which he wished still meant nothing to him. Oh life had been so much easier before it. Before Xavier had dug around in his brain and shook things loose which should have stayed untouched. If only he could go back to that -

The sound of a phone buzzing made him nearly drop his spoon. Daken leaned over to grab for his phone and swallowed, hesitant to read the message. Only two people had this number. Gabby and Laura. The idea of having to read what they thought of him now turned his stomach and suddenly the chocolate pudding seemed like a bad choice. Setting the tub down he took a deep breath and then opened the message.

Unknown.

_Unknown?_ That was not possible. How – who? His eyes narrowed and Daken felt a different sense of dread settle in.

_I’m curious, entertain me for a moment here - how does it feel to be castrated?_

Now that was most certainly not Laura, Gabby or anyone else he could think of having interacted with recently. Someone from his past then?

_Always been a faggot but at least you had balls back then. Did little miss Wolverine clip your claws and file down your fangs? Do you roll over for her to fuck you?_

Daken’s eyes narrowed and he bared his teeth. Faggot. That was a dead give away. Bullseye. Lester. That fucker could not have possibly gotten his number on his own. But what did that mean? Had Daken been so absorbed in making amends he had missed some sort of hunt for him going on? It was not as if he didn’t have enough enemies who would love to take a stab at him.

_Or do you just need someone to remind you who you are? Still got teeth or are you a lap dog?_

The last line was an address and a time. Daken checked the clock again and then bit his lip. Was he actually considering a meet up with fucking Bullseye? Was he that deep down the hole? Daken sat there, staring at the address, trying to figure out what he was going to do.

It had been three days of almost no sleep. Three days of constant looking over his shoulder. Three days of Johnny treating him like he was made of spun glass because apparently after that blowjob and not demanding to be fucked, Johnny now had concluded Daken was broken and needed to be handled with great care. Fuck him. It was because he was broken that he didn’t need to be pampered. There was nothing left to break either way.

Not psychological anyway. But oh, oh how Daken ached to be bent, twisted, and broken in every other way. All he wanted was to hurt. Hurt until there was nothing left, until he was stripped bare and for one blessed moment his mind would go quiet and nothing would matter anymore. If only Johnny wouldn’t keep pretending not to notice his cues. Not that Johnny would ever tear him apart the way Daken wished someone would but it could at least ease some of the urge.

His eyes glanced at the text once more. What if it was a trap? There was a huge chance that it was and somehow Daken did not find himself capable of caring. He needed to disappear either way, so why not risk it? If there was even the slightest chance of Lester actually having sent this ...

Daken stood up and went back into the bedroom. Johnny was still asleep. Peacefully even. With a sigh he grabbed some clothes and headed to take a shower. Maybe he’d wake Johnny up before leaving, maybe not. The problem was that he could not tell Johnny the truth. Because the truth was that he was ready to walk into a trap just on the off chance that a literal psychopath was waiting for him to come and seek out punishment. 

The sound of the running water masked his slightly hysterical chuckles. Things had been going right and he was getting better and then it all came crashing down. Of course it did. Peace was not something Daken deserved and perhaps this time he’d learn not to try again. As if the whole mess with Los Angeles and Roston had not made it clear enough back then. No. No, he just had to try again and now he had dragged other people - his sisters, down into the bottomless pit.

Perhaps the one blessing in this was that Daken knew the two girls would climb back out and move on. It was … something to hold onto.

* * *

It was a bar. In the middle of nowhere. Daken got off the bike and drew in a deep breath. Nothing. He could not pick up that familiar, annoying stink of Bullseye. That meant the man was at least not here yet but Daken was also a bit early so there was still a chance. Or maybe I am just delusional now. Wouldn’t be the first time. 

Opening the door he entered the room and immediately found himself questioning why there were this many people in this bar, at barely six o’clock. Something about it seemed off but they all smelled like humans and there was a general stench of nervousness. Not professionals then. Daken figured that he at least could wait for a little while. He had no other plan yet and just aimlessly driving would not be any less pointless than this.

Sitting down at the bar he gave the blonde, young woman a glance and then ordered lazily and with definite disinterest, “Water.”

* * *

Things hurt. A lot of things. Everything in fact.

Daken kept his eyes shut and wondered what on earth he had done to feel this sore. Had he not been inside a bar, waiting for -

His eyes snapped open and Daken let out a shaky breath. He was not inside the bar and he was not in bed at home either. No. He was strapped down on a cold, metal table, naked and unable to move. Straight out of some horror movie or just his everyday life.

Breath. Think. Assess. Daken turned his head as much as he could and glanced around himself. Not a laboratory. A basement perhaps. There was no natural light source and no distinguishable details about this dimly lit room. Bare walls, clean floor. And - ah yes, a little side table with torture tools. So it was that kind of day then.

The last thing Daken remembered was sitting down at the bar, ordering water and then - Right, that asshole with the beard ordered me a drink for what happened at Roosevelt Island. Except it was not meant as a nice gesture. Oh. Oh, I walked right into this. There was never a text from Bullseye, I was lured there on purpose.

It would have been funny if he wasn’t so busy feeling mad at himself. He was stuck somewhere, strapped down and there were torture tools in the room. That was about what he expected Lester to do with him but there was a difference between agreeing to fucked up sex and being actually tortured. Mostly the difference was that at least he could claim he had gotten something out of being with Lester. And he would have, just not what most sane people would want to get out of it.

What was I thinking? Oh I have lost is, haven't I? The Seed is out but the damage is done and I am going insane. All the shit I've stayed sane through and now I am going insane. A chuckle sat in his throat but Daken made no sound. What had he done to himself now? Why, why did he keep continuing on the circle of putting himself through abuse again and again? Was it so deeply ingrained into his very core that he could not help seeking it out? Questions. It always came back to this. To a million questions and no answer. There were never answers.

The sound of a door unlocking made Daken tense and close his eyes for a moment. And here we go again.

The lights flickered on over the operation table. Lisa told herself that this was just not a person on the table. It was an animal in a man’s body. This was The wolf in sheep’s clothing. There was nothing good here, there was nothing redeemable. Not like in her dogs. There was no kindness or love. There was only bloodlust and cruelty. This was a living mistake of nature. 

“You enjoyed it, running Madripoor.” She walked over and pulled on a pair of gloves. Her hood was already on so there was no need to put on a surgical mask. Lisa stood over the mongrel and glowered. “You liked getting to have all the children on that island available to you. We know. We know everything you’ve done.”

A woman? It was not what Daken expected but any thought on the topic was pushed aside by her words. A sick feeling settled in his stomach as his brain scrambled to make sense of this. Madripoor. Daken had left the place and headed for Los Angeles and then everything had went to shit. And he had mostly forgotten about Madripoor because by the time he had come back from the dead a second time, the place had already been taken back over.

I was just there though. What’s she refer- oh. Daken swallowed. The traffic ring. The ruse. How had he not even considered to check what had happened to it? A new person in power could have easily taken what he build and twisted it. And now people believed he – Oh that’s lovely. That is just perfect. I was protecting them, you cunt. Not … I would never …

“Are you counting on silence to save you? No one is coming for you. No one knows where you are. And this is the last place they would look.” It angered her. This man had taken so much from her, from her family, from so many families. Yet he was going to lay there and seal his lips as if he had any right to the privacy in his own mind. “You make me sick.” 

Normally there was a nurse there to hand her the scalpel. That was not the case today. That's not how this worked. This wasn’t medicine. This was everything she had ever been taught not to do. Lisa did not falter. She was too strong for that. She had been chosen for a reason and she would not let the others down. Without another word she brought the blade down and made a shallow lateral incision. It was roughly three centimeters long. She then made a cut at either end before she inserted the blade under the first several layers of skin tissue. “Where is the muramasa blade?”

It was almost funny. Daken had gone to that bar because he wanted to be taken apart. Now someone was certainly trying but he was no longer interested. There was no fun in actual torture. Not from this side of the game anyway at least. This is why I should have stayed with Johnny and just asked him to do what I need. But no, no asking has never been my style. I like things the hard way.

The cut barely bothered him. If this woman wanted to get something out of him she would have to try a lot harder than that. There was no sound and no answer. Daken just silently stared at the ceiling and wondered why someone would want that blade. It could kill people with healing factors so … Laura.

Once the scalpel was set aside she picked up the tissue forceps and firmly pinched the little flap of skin she had created. Lisa did not speak, did not demand. She watched as her hand pivoted and yanked hard. She stared in fascination at the glistening red and pink ribbon of flesh she had lifted from its flesh. It stopped just shy of his nipple. Lisa stared and waited. How quickly will the healing start?

Aside from a little twitch of his fingers Daken showed no reaction. It was not that it did not hurt, oh it did, but that he had learned to endure. This was nothing. It would heal. If he had anything to worry about it was blood loss given that his healing factor was slower than it should be. The pain just was. There was nothing special to it.

Laura. If he gave this woman anything, he’d put his sister in danger. Gabby too but not a lot of people even knew the younger clone existed. It was Laura he was really worried for. Keep trying, you won’t get anything from me. You can’t break what's already broken.

“The conditioning will kick in.” Lisa leaned forward to watch as it happened. This was very slow. They would have to be careful. She might even have to give it liquids at some point. The goal was to keep it conscious through as much of it as they possibly could. There would be periods of rest, but nothing over an hour and a half. Nothing that was long enough for this thing to catch it’s breath, or to think. She cut the ribbon of flesh free and tossed it over it’s nose before she picked the scalpel back up. “I have all the time in the world for this.”

Conditioning. Daken let his eyes fall shut and his breathing grow shallow. That woman did not know what she was talking about. No one knew. The only person still alive that knew about the things he had been trained for was Daken himself. Romulus was dead, Kim was dead and the few others that had known bits and pieces had been killed by him personally. No one knew. No one knew because no one could know. This was just talk. Nothing more.

Another cut across his chest. Daken registered it but he was already pulling back, finding the only quiet spot inside his own mind. If this woman knew, she would have been forcing him to keep his eyes open and not let him withdraw. She didn’t. That was all the reassurance on that which he needed. No one but him knew. The pain blurred and then Daken was back at the only point in his life where he would have called himself genuinely happy. too

__

_“Otousan.” Akihiro smiled brightly as he held up his arms to be picked up. Gesturing around them at the blooming cherry trees he laughed and held onto his Father. Even mother was smiling and that was so rare, so special. Watching trees had sounded so boring but now Akihiro was glad he had not thrown a tantrum. This was nice. It felt like they were family and that had been missing for a while._

It was clear that the things she’d been prepared for were not going to be enough. Lisa looked at the table and then pulled back, took off her gloves and pulled out her phone. There were a few messages she needed to send. By the time Ian came in she had already begun preparing the arm. There was a fold out in the table. She used it to re-secure its arm, careful not to touch the hand or wrist. “You are going to hand me what I call for.” She took a deep breath and then held out her hand, “Scalpel.”

 _Where do I cut? This isn’t like any other surgery I’ve ever conducted. This isn’t about saving the body, this is about saving the world from this body._ Lisa took a deep breath before the blade touched skin. _Here not enough skin._ She called out for her next tool and began to cut through muscle with no regard for healing or nerve damage. Given what she had seen of its healing factor she was minding blood vessels. She would need to tie them off as she would for any patient. _You aren’t asleep. When will you open your eyes? At what point will you snap._

__

_“Daken.” The soft voice made him look up from the bloody mess on the floor. “It’s enough. He’s dead. He is dead and he won’t be hurting anyone again.” Laura was right but, “You are not even supposed to be here, X.” Her hand touched his shoulder and oh, how strange – Daken did not feel the need to pull away. “Family will always be there when you need it, even while pretending not to.” Daken breathed out heavily and then started to chuckle. Family. The chuckled turned into a laugh and then he went still. Laura had wrapped her arms around him and was holding him close. “It’s okay … this one deserved everything he got.”_

A sharp spike in pain pulled him out of the memories but Daken stubbornly kept his eyes shut. The woman was cutting into his arm and she had been joined by a man. Scent was all Daken needed to take that information in. At least two people then. Both of them smelled of hatred and disgust. Daken was not sure what exactly he had done to them but he didn’t doubt he had done _something._ There were probably a few hundred people who would love to torture him.

The noise of a saw against bone was actually more disturbing than the act itself. His nerves were on fire already, pain was secondary now. It was the realization that they were _amputating_ his left arm which almost had him give in and look. Almost. _I just grew that arm back._ The thought made him feel a little hysterical. All that pain a second time? Great. That was exactly what he needed in life. Laura could be mad at him all she wanted but when he had the damn chance, he was going to kill these people.

_Totally conscious, I saw him shift, saw his jaw move, and nothing, nothing at all._ Lisa looked at the perfectly healthy arm she had removed and then at Ian’s hood. It was enough to remind her what she was about. “Take it.” She turned back to the stump an continued her work. She wanted it to hurt but she needed it alive for now, and coherent enough to answer questions. “Where is the muramasa sword?”

Daken almost laughed then. He was bleeding and having ghost pain from an arm that wasn’t there anymore and here this fucking bitch was asking him about a stupid sword. Daken could not even have answered her if he wanted to. Logan had taken his claws and not exactly given him intel on their future location. _Alright, you just keep trying. We’ll see how creative you can get and if you’re lucky, I only pay you back with half of it._

* * *

_Shit, shit, shit._ Johnny couldn’t stay here another day just waiting. The street lights shining through the gaps in the thick drapes painted bright bars over the apartment. He’d been out of communication with the Avengers too long. He grabbed the burner cell and the list of handwritten numbers. He had to reach out to someone and the only person he could trust to put Daken first, to believe that Daken wasn’t just some animal was Wolverine, the Laura Kinney Wolverine. 

He leaned against the free standing kitchen counter and tried to take deep breaths. _Where the hell are you Daken? Where did you go? Why didn’t you leave a note? Is it because I wouldn’t take advantage of you once it became clear to me that there’s something messed up about our dynamic? Is that it? Sorry pal, I actually love you jerkface. I care about your feelings. The sex was great but it was never the fucking point. Fuck, fuck fuck -_

“Who is this?”

“Johnny Storm.”

“The Human Torch?”

“Yeah look I need to talk to you about your brother.”

It might not be Johnny. It might be any number of people. However Laura couldn’t pass up any leads, “Yeah?”

“I was with him till about a day ago. We were laying low. I woke up and he was just gone, no word, no note, nothing. I don’t … I don’t know where he is, and considering everything that’s going on -”

“I’m going to find him. The Avengers are looking for you. Get back to them and keep your eyes open. If I’m wrong, or this goes sideways I might need your help.” Laura took a deep breath. It was hard to ask for help. But the talk with Kate, everything they’d done out on the west coast, the fact that this was for Daken and not for herself, that made all the difference. “Please.”

“Yeah, anything I can do for him. If it’s in my power I’ll keep him safe, he’s sort of all the family I have right now.”

She could hear it in his voice, the honesty. This could be faked, but Laura believed it, there was something in his tone that simply rang true. “Good. I have to go now. Keep my number close.” Laura hung up got into the helicopter without a backward glance. 

_I’m coming for you Daken._

* * *

Almost kind of sad. Daken slid down from the operation table and kicked the dead heap of garbage in the side. It was sad that he had done away with this bastard so quickly and almost painless. That man had deserved a whole lot more pain than he had gotten but Daken couldn’t risk having him scream for help. Who knew exactly how many people were in this place? Just because he had only been in contact with two did not imply there wasn’t a whole facility ahead of him which he had to fight his way through.

Pulling the hood off the guy he huffed. Just some no name asshole he had never seen in his life. “I’ll be taking this.” His voice sounded off from days of not being used. At least Daken was pretty sure it had been days. He had counted the times he had been left alone and the amount of water they had given him. Three days, maybe four. It was not easy to keep track without daylight. Bending down he started to pull off the man’s clothes to get dressed. The idea of running about naked was not exactly appealing to him.

They had gotten nothing from him. No information, no screams, no begging – not even a real noise. They certainly had tried though. Amputation, cutting, acid, burning, skin removal, breaking the bones in his remaining hand. Daken had withdrawn into his mind for a lot of it but that did not mean he didn’t feel the pain. It just meant he disconnected from it.

With the clothes on he took a deep breath and then headed for the door. It was time to get the hell out of this place.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery in a matter of days? Daken is not so sure if that is brilliant or insane. He is even less sure that it will work but what choice does he have?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Implied/Referenced Emotional Manipulation, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Recovery
> 
> **Comics:** All New Wolverine #28
> 
>  
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
> [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Jonathan raised his head and gave him a curious look as he slowly, carefully stood up. Daken gestured for the animal to be quiet before he gently put a pillow down for Gabby. His little sister had been sleeping with her head in his lap and part of him had not wanted to risk waking her. There was something that needed to be handled though and he couldn’t do it while playing pillow. Brushing some of the black hair out of Gabby’s face he smiled and then turned. Debi and Megan were both asleep, cuddled together on their seats. Shaking his head he went for the cockpit. The plane could fly itself but Laura had been staying in the front for several hours now and Daken felt it was time someone checked on her.

After everything that had happened in the last ten hours, or less even, she was probably in need of comfort. Daken knew he was not particularly well suited to the task but he would try. After all, it had been him who pulled the trigger. Honestly, it was a bit of a miracle that Laura had not _killed_ him for it. She had hurt him quite a lot though and he had deserved that.

“One could get the impression that you are avoiding your family, dear sister.” Daken approached the seat next to Laura and sat down with a soft sigh. The cut that Laura had made to remove the bullet was still healing. Given everything he had been put through since doing surgery on himself, his healing factor was having a hard time catching up with all the injuries.

Laura looked at him and felt her heart ache. “Sometimes I need to be alone. I need time to work through things.” She turned her chair slightly, angling her body towards her brother. His wounds were closing, there were no signs of infection, but it was clear to her that he needed to rest, that he needed time.

There was a pause while they just looked at each other. Daken had a million things to explain and no idea where to start. After a moment he sighed and just started with, “I am sorry, Laura.”

The ebony sheet of her hair moved as she shook her head. “No Daken, no. You saved us. They made a mockery of my mother, they perverted her memory to serve them. I wanted it to be real, I wanted it so badly, but it wasn’t.” Despite her best efforts her voice broke, she continued after only a brief pause, “I couldn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it.”

“I could have done it differently. I did not need to shoot her and send you into a rage.” Daken leaned back heavily and made a face, “I have been on a successful attempt to make the worst possible choices lately.”

“How many days of torture did you live through? Daken … your _execution_ lacked subtlety but it was the right thing to do. I wouldn’t have believed you, I would have tried to stop you.” The next breath was dangerously close to a sob, “Quick was the right choice.”

Daken decided to skip answering and just stood up to draw Laura to her feet so he could hold her. < _I’m still sorry, sister. > _Running his fingers through her dark hair he sighed.

Laura leaned against her brother and soaked up the comfort of his scent and warmth. _ <You saved me, you saved Gabby, you saved all of us. You’re making a habit of it, of showing up just when I need you brother.> _

_ <That’s my job as the older brother, isn’t it? I intend to always be there for as long as I can.> _Her voice was so soft when she spoke Japanese. Daken liked listening to it.

_ <You are going to be around for a long time.> _ Laura held on tighter, as tight as she dared.

“I have a bad habit of dying but I’ll try.” Daken sighed and kissed the top of her head, “For you and Gabby. And possibly Johnny because the guy is too good for this world.”

“He called me.” Laura reached up and touched her brother’s cheek, “Johnny was so worried about you. I was already on my way to find you.” With a sigh she shook her head, “But you know what I found in that place.”

“I owe him one hell of an apology. Ugh, you know that my life was easier before you tricked me into learning to say sorry? Way easier.”

“It was one of my better tricks and I stand by it.”

“You are cruel.” Fluffing her hair he sighed and then looked at his stump, “You know, I don’t believe  in karma but I am starting to feel like it exists and it’s biting me in the ass pretty hard.”

“Of all the religious concepts how is that the one you find yourself believing in?” Her lashes moved like dark lace in rapid blinks of confusion, “I’ve done some reading about the era you grew up in - it seemed people were more likely to believe in bad luck than karma.”

“I stopped believing in anything a few years into … being with _him._ All the things he did, how could he get away with them if there were any sort of higher beings? It didn’t make sense. But … considering all the stuff that’s been happening, maybe the concept of karma isn’t all wrong.”

“I cannot fault your logic.” Laura shrugged. “You shouldn’t trust mine though. I have a literal wolverine for a pet.”

“Considering how dangerous all of us are, I’d say a pet wolverine is not that weird.” Daken shrugged and then settled back down. He was tired and hurting but mostly he could only handle so much contact. “You know, I thought that the next time I’d see you … it would be when you’d come to put me down. It certainly did not occur to me that I’d run into you like I did.”

That earned Daken a glare and a deep eye roll. As she seated herself Laura cocked her head and let her annoyance  seep into her tone, “Really? You think I would ever do that to you? Daken that is not going to happen. I was laying low with Gabby because I knew you needed time to recover from whatever had happened. I trust the X-men but I know they would have tracked me if I’d tried to come to you. Storm might have been on my side but Pryde wouldn’t have listened and she’s the one calling the shots now. I couldn’t risk compromising your location while everyone was worked up.”

“Laura.” He leaned forward and took her hand into his, “If I went off the deep end, I would want someone to do _it_. There is nothing I hate more than the idea that something, or someone, could control me again.”

It was the same thing she used to fear with the trigger scent. Laura held onto his hand tightly and met his gaze without flinching, “I would stop you from being a danger to yourself or others and then I would find a way to help you. If there was no way to bring you back then I would end your suffering, but only after I had exhausted every reasonable possible course of action.”

“Thank you.” Giving her a warm smile he squeezed her hand, “All of this only happened because I freaked out over exactly that. I guess I am still learning to trust you like I know I should. It’s just … I didn’t have someone to rely on for a very long time.”

“Whatever happened Daken, no one died. You didn’t maim anyone. The human, Drake’s boyfriend, he’s going to be fine. Yes it would have been better if it hadn’t happened but it isn’t unfixable.” Laura squeezed Daken’s hand back and let out a breath, “We are going to live through this, and we’ll figure out how to calm everyone down.”

Daken made a thoughtful sound and then chuckled, “Should I care what the X-Men think about me?”

“Only so far as it makes your life simpler.”

_“I am sorry to interrupt. You asked me to tell you when we were a quarter of an hour from the drop point.”_

“Thank you Danger.” Laura smiled a little and let go of Daken’s hand, “Someday I’d like to introduce you to Storm, that would be easier if the X-men weren’t on red alert.” With a shrug she stood up, “Come on, nap time’s over.”

 

* * *

 

Japan. Back again. Back where everything started and everything ended.

Daken silently slid out of bed and left the house. It was dark outside, quiet and peaceful like it could only be away from major cities and hot spots of civilization. Up above the sky was filled with the light of stars. Daken stood at there, simply breathing in the fresh air and let himself exist.

They were all in mortal danger and yet Daken felt more calm and centered than he had in a long time. There was no doubt that part of it was because he finally did not have something foreign trying to take control over him. But that wasn’t all. As much as he would deny it out loud, coming _home_ always seemed to have a soothing effect on him. Daken wondered if he could risk taking Laura and Gabby to the grave but that was a ridiculous thought. They had no time for something so trivial.

Just like they did not have time for him to struggle with his broken, twisted psyche. Taking a deep breath he settled down in the soft grass along the river and closed his eyes. Muramasa had given him instructions and a task. One Daken was not sure could be completed, especially not in time, but he was going to try at least. Whatever it even meant to be _whole_.

Breathing in deeply he counted to ten and then breathed out, nice and slow. Muramasa’s words rang in his ears from the earlier session. Daken had sat through it biting his tongue. It was Laura who eventually had enough and called it. His sister was far too aware for her own good sometimes.

**_Breathe._ **

In. Out. In. Out. Slow. Steady. Deeply.

**_Your unconscious mind will bring images forth._ **

His fingers twitched as the images began to flood his mind once more. A shadowy figure. A pool of blood. The light glinting off a set of sharp claws.

**_That is normal. That is Zazen. Breathe._ **

A look of utter disappointment. The sight of a puddle on the muddy floor. Fearful eyes looking up at him.

**_Emotions will come to the surface. Do not fight them._ **

A pair of icy lips -

Daken gasped, eyes flying open and hands shaking. It wasn’t working. It wouldn’t ever work. How was he supposed to not react to this? “Fuck.” With a frustrated groan he lied back and stared up at the sky again. He couldn’t do this. He _couldn’t._

“You can do this.” The words were said when she was still a few feet away. Laura had no intention of spooking her brother. She came forward and took a seat next to him. “I know you can do this.”

“You don’t know anything, Laura.” Daken did not look at her. There was a dark expression on his face and he was tense. Allowing his mind to wander was the same as begging for pain. Emotional pain.

“Now you sound like that show Gabby and Doreen like. You know nothing Jon Snow, or something like that.” Laura didn’t lean in or try to encrouch on Daken’s space. She understood that touch could be suffocating.

“A Song of Ice and Fire.” Daken sighed, sitting up slowly, “I think the show just got the title from the first book though.” He had started to read them and stopped when the amount of uncomfortable content crossed a line and just took all the joy out of it. “Hmm, ice and fire …” His lips curled into a smile, “Oh I could make a whole lot of inappropriate jokes right now.”

Rather than try to force the conversation Laura followed Daken. “What sort of inappropriate jokes?”

“I slept with Johnny and got kissed by Iceboy. I got my very own version of ice and fire. Maybe I can convince them to go for the three way adventure.”

“Bobby Drake kissed you? Before or after everything with his ex-boyfriend?” It was a mess, and a messy way to talk about it, but that was life.

“It’s a bit … complicated.” Daken made a face and shrugged, “I don’t know how much you know so …”

“I have a vague idea. You and a student from the school tried to bring everything down around their ears.” Laura shrugged. “Drake seems to inspire that sort of feeling in people. Everyone either loves him or hates him, there is no in between.”

“Odd. I feel rather indifferent about that man.” Looking back up at the sky he sighed, “So, long story short … I kidnapped a teenager, abused him and trained him, and then attacked the school. Why the school? Why Drake? I don’t know. Maybe I was pissed about having my party evening ruined. Maybe I am just insane. Either way, I stabbed Drake’s boyfriend after sexually assaulting him of course because what’s a villain plot without some rape in there somewhere – and Drake paid me back with a kiss of his own.”

“So … you’re in denial.” Laura had listened quietly and intently. Normally she wouldn’t have commented so directly but there was no time for gentleness and she didn’t know how to be direct _and_ kind.

That made him finally look at her. “In denial about what exactly?”

“A lot of things, but the thing that is most topical currently is how you feel about Drake. Even with a Death Seed driving you nuts it doesn’t make any sense for you to have acted the way you did if you are indifferent.”

“Let’s not go there alright? I am supposed to get over fifty years of physical, psychological and sexual abuse in a matter of a few days. On top of that I apparently need to forgive myself for not saving our Father’s life because of course that’s on me. Not like he fucking killed me or anything like that, nah. I think my plate is full enough.”

It was a lot to take in and at first Laura was quiet. The words she needed weren’t easy to grasp, but Daken was kind enough to sit there with her, waiting for them. “You need to be honest with yourself and that has to start somewhere.”

“Or maybe I just don’t do this and instead enjoy a few days of peace before we all fucking die. Not like we don’t deserve it.” The moment the words were past his lips Daken regretted them. That wasn’t fair to Laura or Gabby. The two girls weren’t drenched in blood the way he was. They never would be. “Sorry …”

The look on her face told him that it had hurt her. It took Laura another moment to find her voice. She was better at it now than she had been when they met in Madripoor. She didn’t have to be angry or dispassionate to express herself. Gabby and Remy had shown her that compassion and love were things she could feel and speak from. Laura reached out and took Daken’s hand, “Don’t, don’t talk like that about yourself Daken. I know you don’t believe it of myself or Gabby, I know that’s the frustration and fear talking. I know you love the both of us, you’ve proven it.” She licked her lips, “Do you trust me?”

Daken nodded silently and squeezed her hand. Any words just might turn into more bitter jabs. Daken did not want to hurt Laura.

“Then please, listen to me now the way you would listen to me about an enemy or danger. You are not what you were made to be. You’ve already proven that. You aren’t a psychopath, and you have a sense of right and wrong. You’ve already made changes in yourself which only proves what I am saying. You _can_ overcome this. You don’t have to do all the work in a few days. You’ve been doing it for years Daken. What you need to do right now is to be honest with yourself.”

There was a long pause as he just stared into the water and allowed the words to sink in. Laura wasn’t _wrong_ but she also had no idea what she was asking of him.

“My sanity relies on a carefully constructed web of lies and half truths. I admit one truth and it will all crumble like pulling a card from the bottom of a card house. And I might continue functioning for a while but it **will** come crashing down. Then what do I do?”

“You lean on me and we figure it out together.” It was frightening, but it was also their only choice.

“It’s sweet, how clueless you sometimes are.” Reaching up he stroked her cheek and sighed, “Fine. Not like I have an actual choice right? Because it’s just too much to ask to get to make my own choices.” Smiling bitterly he pulled his hand back and forced himself to breath in deeply once more.

Truth then. _Alright. There are more than enough lies to pick from._

“I was … desperate.” Daken closed his eyes and breathed out heavily. If he could talk about one of these things maybe he could handle the rest silently. “After Roosevelt Island … I could feel it inside me, festering. It was eating away at me and I couldn’t figure out what the hell to do about it. The idea of - … I couldn’t let it happen. I couldn’t be someone’s puppet again. So I made a plan and it would have maybe even worked out if Drake hadn’t fucked it all up.”

“How did he get in the way?” No one had stopped and asked Daken what it was that he’d wanted in the beginning. The attack on the school was a reaction to how things had unfolded, not part of the original plan, she could see that much.

“Came after Zachary, the kid I took with me. Found us at this party and … well, I tried talking. I was even charming with him but … he just decided to freeze me from the inside out.” Laura knew that he was not a fan of the cold even though Daken had never explained the why. “I got a little pissy, I admit that. But I wasn’t going to actually hurt him. He saw the whole situation a bit different though and so I ended up with a snowflake puncturing holes into my body.”

_Drake this does not sound like the Iceman I know._ Laura sat there thoughtfully turning it over in her mind. “After the encounter they did not come after you?”

“Iceboy found himself some dick to ride. Don’t you know that’s far more important than a kidnapped fifteen year old?”

“You are quite angry about this for being indifferent Daken.” Laura arched a brow.

That made him laugh and push his hand through his hair, “Not for the reasons you are thinking. Trust me. Not even close …”

“I think you hate him.” Laura blinked a few times, her brows knitted, “Am I very far off?”

“Only about as far as the distance between the south and the north pole.”

“Daken … you have completely lost me.”

“The anger isn’t about Drake. It’s …” Daken bit his lip and looked away. _It’s everyone’s obsession with sex that annoys me._ “Drake put dating someone over rescuing a young teenager who got _kidnapped_ by the guy he deemed so evil that he had to put a snowflake through my abdomen. Why am I the only one bothered by the fact that I had to deliver the teenager back to the school for them to give a fuck? How are these people allowed to be in charge of young, vulnerable children?”

With a long sigh Laura shook her head, “Natasha Romanoff died. Drake, Hercules, Angel, and several other members of the Champions were gathering in LA in their old stomping grounds to remember and honor her.” After a moment of silence Laura continued, “From what I understand Bobby did meet Judah Miller on that trip, but he did not stay in LA. He went home to the school where he, Kitty, and others were working out a plan to address the fact that Zach was still with you.” Laura held up her hands, “Why no one called me or tried to take the situation head on again I don’t know Daken. They’re people and they make mistakes.”

“One person fucking up, fine. Two, happens. Three? Four? An entire superhero team? No.” Daken felt frustrated and there was no outlet aside from talking so he kept talking, “I’m sorry but again all I see looking at your friends is a bunch of entitled assholes playing at being good guys while pointing fingers at the ‘bad’ ones. It’s the same story every damn time. Logan was drenched in blood more than even I am and yet he got to slap on a blue and yellow suit and call himself a hero. An Avenger, an X-Men. I love you, I love Gabby and I am happy you two find comfort in these labels but let’s be fucking real, they mean nothing. Nothing at all.”

Daken raised his hand before Laura could answer, “No. Enough. I am supposed to be focusing on myself right? Let’s try this again. If there is one thing I am than that’s stubborn and I’d rather go stir crazy trying to get over being raped a million and some times than contemplate the futility of heroes any further.”

It was only when Daken pointed out that they had gone far off topic that she realized it had happened. Laura sighed. Her big brother was very, very good at talking his way into and out of things, and though she knew it she was not always equal to the task of getting out of it. Still the realization had lead them to a very difficult and uncomfortable place. Laura looked at Daken and said the thing that Remy had said to her, “It wasn’t your fault.”

“No, it wasn’t. Not when I was but a child. I know that, Laura. I am messed up, yes but not _that_ messed up. I understand that I didn’t have choice at that time. That still leaves about forty years of spreading my legs with a smile because I was ready to whatever it took as long as the result was praise and fake love.”

“Daken, that still wasn’t your fault.” The was no hesitation because it was something she believed completely, something she had an understanding of. Laura was much younger than Daken but it didn’t take decades to understand suffering. “You didn’t know any other way of living. You were programmed to do what you did.”

“Don’t.” His voice trembled as he said the word but the hint of emotion was gone as he continued, “I am trying as hard as I can alright? There is too much to work through even a third of it in the limited time we have. So let’s leave that dragon asleep. Muramasa never said I needed to deal with all my issues. He said to deal with whatever kind of complicated feelings I have regarding our dear Father.”

Laura nodded and took another breath. “You’re right. Logan has to be the focus.” With another sigh she looked up at the holes of light in the inky sky and wondered if there was any sort of afterlife. _Are you watching us?_ “He was wrong about you.”

“That’s debatable. I’d say he had generally the right idea. It took … a lot to get where I am now. He saw what I was and he made the call on it. I don’t blame him for that, not anymore.”

It was interesting. Laura didn’t agree with Daken. She blamed Logan more now than she had back in Madripoor. He had been wrong about Daken and because he had treated his son like an enemy Daken’s suffering had been drawn out. _This isn’t about my feelings though._ “Have you forgiven him?”

“Not quite, no. It’s not something that can be forgiven without the chance to talk about it. But I’ve made my peace with him when I gave him that burial. What happened, happened. It is not as if I can change any of it so … I am not holding anger over it.”

The quiet stretched on as Laura looked up at the sky thoughtfully. The wind picked up and tugged at their hair, pulling it out behind them as it shook leaves and tickled the grass. When she spoke her eyes were drawn back to those of her brother, confusion plain on her features, “You blame yourself for his death?”

“Blame? No. I regret that I wasn’t there. That I never had a chance to make things right. I feel remorse, not guilt. It’s never that simple. I am a little mad at him actually. For being so goddamn stubborn because let’s be real, if he had kept his ass inside the school – he would be alive now. But no, he just had to keep acting like he was immortal.”

“Do you miss him?” Laura did, she missed him every day. He had been so set on settling his affairs, on leaving things ‘better’ and ‘safer’ that she hadn’t gotten to spend nearly as much time with him as she wanted.

“How could I? Laura, I barely knew him. All I ever got from Logan was … a lot of messed up stuff. There was never a relationship. Logan didn’t know me and I don’t know him. I miss the possibility that there could have been something given the chance – that’s it.”

“He left me at the school because he thought I needed protecting. I wonder all the time what could have happened, what could have been … It has to hurt a lot, the wondering. The what if.” She shook her head and sighed, “What if he had found compassion instead of anger? What if you’d been able to reach each other. At least I have a few moments but you …”

“It’s why I am so incredibly good at repressing everything.” Daken chuckled and shrugged, “Which brings us to why we are sitting here. At night. When we should be sleeping and not discussing my various psychological issues.”

He looked over at his sister and then said, “Let me try one more time and if it doesn’t lead to anything, we’ll go and sleep. No point obsessing all night.”

“Can I stay?”

“Yeah.” He nodded and then shifted to assume the position again; back straight, legs folded in lotus, arms reaching out, wrists resting on his knees. “Just don’t stare at me waiting for something to happen. That is not relaxing at all.” Giving Laura a little smile he closed his eyes and breathed in again.

**_Breathe._ **

Daken let the world around himself fall away once more. That part was easy enough. He knew how to focus on nothing but his own thoughts. It usually was not to let them flow but to suppress them though.

**_Your unconscious mind will bring images forth. That is normal. That is Zazen. Breathe._ **

The same images started to pass through his mind and Daken focused on nothing but his own breathing and the warmth of Laura’s body close to his own. Her presence seemed to help and Daken would have wondered why he had not considered that but he was trying not to actively think.

**_Emotions will come to the surface. Do not fight them. Breathe._ **

His hand twitched and he almost opened his eyes but Laura’s hand took his and that was enough to shift the focus back. This was easier than before. It still did not feel quite right but it was something. It was progress.

One step at a time. He had a couple of days to do this and Daken intended to succeed. If only as a big _fuck you_ to Romulus.

 

* * *

 

**_Do not pursue your thoughts into the dark places. Breathe._ **

Daken listened to the calm, steady sound of that voice and simply breathed. His mind was flowing like the water of the river and he was just letting it happen. The urge to fight the images and thoughts had passed by day two and now by day four he was actually starting to feel comfortable simply letting things happen.

**_Your fears._ **

Romulus. Loss of identity. Being controlled.

**_Your desires._ **

Power. Control. A family. A sense of belonging. Love.

**_Your inadequacies._ **

Temper. Ego. Lack of trust.

**_Breathe. Let them go. Breathe. Let it all go. Breathe._ **

Daken gasped, his eyes opened and then he was staring in confused wonder at the fully healed arm where there had been nothing hours ago. He had felt the healing start but he had been so occupied with simply existing and breathing that most of it went past him. Raising his hand he flexed it and then popped his claws. Everything worked fine. He had actually done it.

It had been a fascinating to watch. The steady even breaths moving through the well muscled torso, the bone and blood emerging from what had been a stump, and the shivering of Daken’s thick thighs as he struggled the hardest. Muramasa stood up as the boy continued to look down at his arm and hand in surprised fascination. It was a miracle, but there was no time for such prolonged expressions. Four days had passed. The work was only now about to begin. The forces at work here would not be resting during this time. He held out his hand, “On your feet. You will bathe and dress and then when the sun has set you and your sisters will meet me at the designated spot to make your contributions.”

Drawing his claws back Daken got up from the floor and bowed his head, “Thank you, Murasama-san. This was … quite the experience.” It certainly had been. Daken knew better than to assume a little meditation had fixed him but it had changed _something_ . At the very least his healing factor was back to working as it was supposed to. _And that means I was messing with it myself. This was psychological not physiological._

“Being witness to this part of your journey has been quite interesting. I look forward to taking the measure of your soul.” His eyes moved over Daken’s body the way a sculpture’s eyes would move over the work of another artist, appreciative but fully aware of any defect, and without the note of lust someone in Daken’s position would be so used to. “Please make yourself comfortable, eat, relax, and continue to find your center. The work we do tonight will make this seem as a playful bit of origami.”

Daken was very aware of the way he was being looked at but he felt oddly calm about it. There was nothing sexual about any of this. “Sounds like fun.” He nodded and then made for the spa. A nice hot bath did sound like heaven right now. Daken had not done anything active and yet he felt sore and tired in the strangest ways.

 

* * *

 

“Daken.” Laura noticed his expression first and then his arm. He had two arms. A smile turned her worried expression into one of delight.

“Daken! Hey you grew your arm back!” Though she had been fussing with Jonathan and the necklace of paper flowers a moment ago that was forgotten. She was on her feet and throwing herself at her brother. “You can grow arms again!”

“Careful Honey Badger.” Smiling he picked her up and fluffed that silky black hair, “We all need to be in top shape tonight.” Daken looked over at Laura and just nodded. They would probably talk about this later but for now all that mattered was that he was healed.

“We are going to do it tonight?” Gabby blinked and took that in. At the same time her hands moved over Daken’s bare skin, her fingers drawn to the bold tribal inspired lines. The design just ended where the new arm had grown. “What is this thing supposed to be anyway? A Pterodactyl hugging you?”

“Yes, we are running out of time. Who knows when they catch up to us …” Daken settled down and kept Gabby in his lap. “My tattoo hu? It’s supposed to represent a dragon.”

_How isn’t he flopping out? Kimonos are strange._ Gabby kept that question to herself and instead focused on the tattoo question. “A dragon? Why a dragon?”

Daken blinked and then frowned. That was a loaded question and his little sister had no idea. It had been decades ago and yet Daken still remember the golden statue like he had looked upon it only minutes ago.

_It is not the dragon that you fear, Akihiro; It is the power that it represents. This is the magic of symbols._

“It is a symbol. One to represent power.”

“Power hu? Why did you want a giant power dragon tattoo?”

“Gabby, please Daken has been through enough we shouldn’t be interrogating him about his tattoo.” Laura look apologetically at her brother and sighed.

“It’s alright, I don’t mind.” Daken had not thought about what the tattoo actually represented in a long, long time. He remembered sitting in that little tattoo shop and getting it done though. And he certainly remembered _his_ reaction to it.

“When I was a child, I had adoptive parents and the man I called Father held deep beliefs. I grew up surrounded by religious symbols and values. There was one in particular which terrified and intrigued me, the golden dragon statue in the shrine he would visit. After a funeral one day, he took me with him and we spoke about the meaning of symbols. The dragon god itself represents power, courage, protection – it stuck with me. That association.”

Daken usually did not give this close a look into his past but he had faced a great many buried things in the last four days and it almost felt like a relief to speak about this. “Years later, I was back here in Japan for the first time in a long while and I got the tattoo done on a whim. There was a man in my life at the time who … well, he _was_ the dragon. Powerful beyond reason and terrifying in ways I cannot even begin to explain.”

Gabby sat quietly and listened as Daken explained his tattoo. Her fingers went back to the black bold lines. After a moment she looked up at her brother and asked, “Why are you still carrying the bad man with you?”

There was a pause and then Daken looked over at Laura. What was he supposed to say to that? Gabby had a point there and telling a young pre-teen that some things left scars so deep that even without the tattoo, he would always carry something of _him_ around – well, Daken was pretty sure that wasn’t something he should say.

“Some things stay with us Gabby, like Kimura.” The sensation of holding her tormentor underwater, watching the life drain out of her was still fresh. It was something Gabby would understand, the fear and hurt, the things that woke a person in the middle of the night. “She is gone but I cannot forget what she did to me.”

“You don’t carry things around to remind you of her though.” Gabby looked back at Daken, “You put him on your body, and you put him back every time he gets knocked off.”

**_Let it go. Breathe. Let it all go._ **

Daken did breath in deeply and then nodded slowly, “You are right, Gabby. He is gone and he isn’t ever going to come back. It’s time to let it go.” Looking at his bare arm he frowned and then said, “I think it’s time to get a _new_ tattoo.”

“Flowers! You should get flowers!” It was the first thing that popped into her mind and it was impossible to hold it back, especially since she’d been trying so hard to be polite through this conversation.

“Flowers? You think he should get flowers tattooed on his arm?” Though she had stayed quiet for most of the conversation between the three siblings Megan couldn’t help it now.

“I don’t see why he wouldn’t.” Debi shrugged, “Flowers aren’t just for girls.”

“If I want all of it redone though …” Daken looked over at Laura, “Well, we should give my healing factor a test anyway, right?”

Laura rolled her eyes and sighed, “This is going to be an interesting afternoon.”

“Do you need help?” The singular claw on her right hand popped out with a soft _snikt_. “My claws are good at detail work.”

“Make a family activity out of cutting my tattoo away? Well, I’d say that sounds about right for _this_ family.”

“I call front!” Gabby rubbed her hands together.

“I think I’m going for a walk.” Megan stood up and was joined by her mother. “You three have a uh … good time.”

Despite the macabre nature of it all Laura couldn’t keep herself from giggling a little. This was absurd, but that was her life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby has a mountain of issues to work through. He isn’t the only one. What’s better than sulking alone in the school? A shopping trip with the eccentric rich boy he’s making friends with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Eating disorders, Therapy, Anger Issues, Gender Identity Issues, PTSD, Implied/Reference Survivors guilt, Implied/Referenced Suicidal thoughts
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
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With a sigh Bobby typed, _Thanks doc I’ve got to go._ It was weird, but he’d been doing this all week. Eventually it would be less weird. Eventually he’d get over this. _Yeah … right._ Bobby stood up, closed his laptop and stretched. Typing about his feelings for an hour was a lot of work. It wasn’t the sort of thing he normally let himself do, but something had to change. His temper was out of control, and proximity to Daken’s Death Seed couldn’t explain it all. He’d been angry before then. He’d been angry before M-day. Bobby wasn’t really sure when it had started anymore. If he looked back at letters, pictures, and the odd journal entry it seemed like it had always been there. He could remember fights with Opal when she’d walk out of the room for five minutes and come back to find him smiling and willing to pretend nothing had happened. It was one of the few times he remembered someone really calling him on it. Xavier had always told him to focus, or to train. Hank had given him space. Jean had seemed afraid to speak. Scott … _You called me on it. You always called me on everything._

Bobby ran a hand over his chest and sighed. He was flesh and blood today, whole and healthy. He turned and looked at himself in the little mirror. His skin was smooth, there were few scars to document everything he had been through. The sight of his own face was almost baffling. Bobby wasn’t sure when he’d started looking thirty. He’d been a baby face for a long time. He’d been the baby of the team for a long time. It had become part of how he saw himself, the kid trying to prove himself, the cool teacher who was young enough to still ‘get it’. _You’ve been to college, you’ve fought aliens, survived Decimation, you’re not a kid anymore Drake._ Bobby sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. He needed to go in and have it relaxed again. He needed to get it cut. Somehow those maintenance things he’d made time for in the past just weren’t happening. _Scott, would you be proud of me if you were here? Would you look at the therapy as a step forward? Would you be happy for me, happy that I came out?_ Bobby closed his eyes and swallowed past something thick in his throat, _How about you Warren? What would you have to say?_

It was moments like this when he remembered it was just him and Hank left. Angel was alive but he wasn’t truly Warren. Jean had been gone a long time now, and Scott had died for all of them. Bobby still wasn’t sure he agreed with everything Scott had done, but it was very hard now to fault him for Xavier’s death. Bobby had been reminded of what happened when alien and celestial beings touched mutants rather forcefully. What happened when power and lust clouded a mind armed with incredible abilities. It hadn’t even been in his body and the Death Seed had done things to him. Scott had been filled with a divine force beyond true comprehension, the Phoenix was an Omni-Universal being. _Scott, I wish we could have talked, really talked. Maybe if I hadn’t left Utopia ... I miss you so damn much man._

“Standing in front of the mirror isn’t going to get anything done, Drake.” Bobby sighed and looked away. “Clothes, I need to figure out what I’m going to wear for the rest of the afternoon.” Hearing himself, having the silence broken helped bring him out of his melancholy. After the intense work out he’d skipped lunch, come back to his room for a shower and decided he needed to make time to work on himself. Due to the modern marvel that was the internet he could get therapy in the nude at the drop of a hat. Now he had no afternoon classes but he didn’t want to spend the rest of his day feeling sorry for himself while laymenting the passing and estrangement between himself and his big brother figure. _I’m an only child, you’d think I’d be just fine not having any siblings. That I wouldn’t mind being alone._ Bobby pulled on a pair of blue briefs and then stared at his clothes. _Which costume am I going to put on today?_

Knocking on the door he didn’t wait for a reply, just opened it, “Hey, put on some shoes. We are going out - ...” Quentin blinked and then corrected himself, “Okay, put on some clothes first maybe. Unless you want to indulge your nudist side. I would not mind the view.”

“I’m not nude, close the door slush for brains.” Bobby was blushing despite his tone. Quentin Quire had no sense of other people’s privacy. It was more correct to say that his perception of it was unique and annoyingly underdeveloped but Bobby was standing in his small teacher’s suite in nothing but his unreasonably tight briefs, and he was not feeling overly generous at the moment. “Turn your back or something and tell me where we’re going.”

“You are a prude, Bobby.” Rolling his eyes he turned his back and crossed his arms. “We are going shopping. It’s my homework for the day and I figured, why not combine annoyance with something fun.”

“Shopping is your homework? Are we getting food? Or games?” Bobby stared at his closet and picked the newest and tightest pair of jeans he owned. It was the same pair he’d worn out on that date a few nights ago. They were getting a lot of wear.

“Telepathy is coming back. More or less. And Phoebe decided the best way to push is apparently to go straight for throwing me at a crowd of people because who needs baby steps? Not the guy who is going to be a Phoenix host.” Quentin sighed and then shrugged, “We are going clothes shopping of course.”

“You want to bring me shopping shopping?” Bobby looked at his shirts and sighed. _I could go button down? It’s early though, would I look overdressed?_

“Yes and then we find a nice place to get dinner at and -” Quentin paused and then chuckled, “Wait, does that sound like a date? I am so not trying to date you … or am I?”

“If you like rejection, by all means.” Bobby pulled an aqua greenish shirt out of his closet. It was a short sleeved button up with small little pastel yellow triangles. It was his almost a Zelda reference shirt.

“Maybe that’s my kink. Would explain why I still tried to get some with Benji while knowing that was never happening.”

“You like pushing boundaries.” Bobby pulled a regular zip up hooded jacket out of the closet, it was black and rather nondescript. It would do. He was not a fashion person, and he wasn’t really interested in looking ‘sexy’ when he went out with Quire. “I’m decent now.”

Turning around he gave Bobby a once over and then nodded, “Good enough. Come on, let’s get the hell out of here. This school drives me mad.”

* * *

The noise was almost unbearable. Quentin gritted his teeth and tried to focus on just himself. His own mind, his own thoughts – it was not working. There was still the lingering Phoenix fire cutting him off from himself in uncomfortable ways. Every time he dared to venture too deeply, it lead to a session of kneeling in front of the toilet. Some of the students were now discussing if he was suffering from an eating disorder which was not even that far off but still annoying. That was in the past. This wasn’t willingly throwing up but Quentin could not say he wasn’t worried about the potential relapse.

There were a lot of things he was worried about and half of them weren’t in his control. Possibly the one thing that Quentin hated more than anything else was not being in control. It was exactly why he was so terrified of the future and the prospect of ending up as a tragically fucked up Phoenix host. It was also why he was here right now.

“That’s not your color.” Quentin shook his head and took the green tinted teal shirt out of Bobby’s hands. “Honestly, you need to stop sticking to blue tones in general but if you have to, at least do a proper blue. Something to match the color of your eyes. I’d suggest some change, some different colors though.”

_Here_ was inside his favorite store for day to day wear. Most of the clothes were pleasantly gender neutral and the quality was great too. His preference to dress neutral was not something he talked about but he knew some people made a lot of guesses about his style. Quentin couldn’t be bothered to care. The phase in his life where he tried to fit anyone’s idea of anything was in the past. He had enough other shit to focus on, shit that actually mattered.

“What other colors would you suggest?” The store was big and a little overwhelming in Bobby’s opinion. It had double high ceilings with exposed piping, rafters, and skylights. It was high fashion combined with function meets art aesthetic. It was far, far too on trend for him. Bobby had always played it safe in his civilian clothes. Always dressed casually in a way that allowed him to blend in with the ‘normal’ people.

There was a pause while he gave Bobby a slow once over and then Quentin decided, “Red tones. A deep red in particular. Black and white work for everyone. Maybe even some yellow, orange … just stay away from green. It doesn’t fit your skin tone.” Quentin looked at the selection of shirts and then grabbed for one in a dark, rich red. A button up with some accents of silvery gray. “Try that one. Stop being so terribly boring. You don’t blend in anymore, you are officially too gay to manage that. So own it. Make it your new shield.”

“Do you have any idea what would happen if my dad showed up and saw me in a shirt like this?” Bobby looked down at the button up and then back to Quire, “At least it’s not a deep V. And you  really think red?”

Now _that_ Quentin felt like he needed to say something to. Being a telepath had ups and downs in many ways, the biggest one was knowing things that people did not want anyone knowing about. This was one of those instances and usually Quentin pretended that he didn’t know. This time, this topic though, it was an exception.

“Look, are you trying to be yourself or are you trying to impress your horribly homophobic, racist, controlling shit bag of an abusive father? Because if it’s the later, you better crawl back in that closet and lock the door really tightly.” Quentin crossed his arms and cocked his head, “For the record, far as I am concerned, you are ten times the man he is.”

Though Quire’s words had touched him Bobby scowled and demanded, “When did you meet my dad to even know that?”

“I am a telepath, Bobby. I know things that no one wants me to know. Despite popular opinion on me, I usually don’t invade people’s privacy by pointing out things they have never talked to me about but this is a whole different story. You had a phase were every single one of your thoughts revolved around your stupid father and I couldn’t always blend it out.”

That took the wind out of his sales. Bobby sighed and looked down at the shirt. “Red? Really? I’ve never been a big fan of red. It comes and goes with the uniform, but I never choose it. Are you sure blue’s not my color?”

That made him smile, “Trust me, try it on. I’ll find some more for you to try.”

Bobby sighed and took the shirt with him to the dressing room. Once he had it on his eyes couldn’t stop staring for a good thirty seconds. It was strange. He did look good, the red gave him a healthy sort of flush, and it was fitted in a way that showed off how slim waisted he was. His chest was almost too big for the first three buttons to handle but they weren’t in danger of popping since he hadn’t fastened them. “Is this me?”He pushed his fingers through his hair and sighed thoughtfully before he stepped out of the dressing room. “I’m not sure about this one, it’s really tight. Like unstable molecules tight.”

Quentin turned away from the shelf and took a moment to just look at Bobby. The color complimented his skin tone and the way the fabric hugged his form was not too much but just enough. “That’s the point. If you got it, flaunt it. You put a lot of work into your body, so why not make people turn their heads to get a second glance? Also the color looks really good on you.” Putting more shirts into Bobby’s arms he gestured, “Try them on, see what you like best. We’ll figure out your style.”

“Wait you just handed me five deep V necks and two of them are pink.” _Didn’t I make it clear I wasn’t going to wear - No I said my dad would hate it. Why am I still trying to please that man? He wanted to replace me!_

“Don’t argue with me. Just do it. What do you have to lose from trying them on? Nothing.”

“You don’t take pictures, and you don’t tell anyone.” Bobby stared at Quire, trying to tell if he was going to agree and follow through. His frown deepened, “Why is your eye twitching?”

Ah, there it was. Quentin had not doubted that Bobby would eventually pick up on it. “Again, I’m a telepath.” He shrugged, making a good show out of being unaffected, “And I’m stuck in a building with a lot of people who all have no idea that they think at a volume that is equal to screaming directly into my ear.”

“Why don’t you uh -” _Are you really going to do this Drake?_ “- focus on me? That’s practice right? And you can hang out while I change so I don’t have to pop out every time to show you.”

“It could lead to quite the headache for you with the state my powers are in.” It was a fair warning. Quentin was deliberately not focusing on a single person because he knew he was basically relearning to use his powers. It would be easier this time around but he still had to go through the process as Phoebe and him unraveled the damage done to him.

“You can drive us home, and Rachel can help me with whatever fallout we get from your mental butterfingers.” With a shrug he gave Quire an easy smile, “Remember I grew up around the Professor and Jean. I’ve hung out with a lot of telepaths. My mind’s not like Cyclops’ but I know how to take care of myself.”

“For the record, I do not agree on the general opinion that Scott Summers’ mind was a vacation place for telepaths. I never liked the way he was repressing basically everything that can be repressed and then some.” Quentin shrugged and then, _[Alright, you want some company, I can do that.]_

_[We said enough bad things about Scott while he was alive. I didn’t agree with all his methods but he’s dead now. So a little respect alright?]_ Bobby gave Quire a look, his eye twitched, and the hair on the back of his neck stood on end. It wasn’t comfortable or pleasent. It was like having a brand new telepath in his head. Quire took up space in a way that was not only obvious but reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. Bobby had to put effort into accommodating him, but he managed it. The relife he felt was a sure sign that things had settled out. “Go ahead and find more things to blackmail me with … clothes that’s what I mean.”

Once he was back in the changing room, which was not a small space, Bobby got the button up off and grabbed for the first thing in the armload Quire had handed him. The pink deep V tee was made out of some sort of super soft material. It wasn’t quite opaque, which was evident when he looked in the mirror. “Shit you can see how dark my nipples are in this thing.”

_[That is the point. Embrace your looks, enjoy the effect you’ll have on people. Maybe avoid wearing that when you teach though because none of your students will be paying any attention to the actual lesson if you walk around like that.]_ Quentin went over to the pants section and started picking out a few choices for Bobby. This was more fun than he had imagined it would be. Definitely better than hanging around the school.

All he could do was roll his eyes and peel the shirt off. It went into a pile that Quire would know was for things he was thinking about purchasing. He tried on another shirt but this one didn’t suit his taste. Another, this one a more modest with a floral pattern. _[Flowers, can I rock flowers?]_

_[I’d say yes. Just pair it with some plain jeans and don’t over accessorize.]_

_[Don’t over what? Have you seen me wear anything but clothes? I don’t do bangles or whatever.]_ His index finger traced along one of the red flowers as he considered what he looked like. Meeting his own gaze in the mirror Bobby made a choice; The shirt went into the ‘I’m going to buy this’ pile.

_[Well, you are now friends with me. That means you’ll learn how to add accessories to your wardrobe eventually.]_ With a few pairs of pants in his arms he went for the cabin Bobby was in, _[Got some more to try on for you.]_

The armload of pants was gathered over the little swinging door and then Bobby was scowling. He put the next shirt on, this one was navy blue with highlighted details that really made his waist look trim. The sleeves almost cut in on his biceps a little but Bobby ignored it to pull his shoes off. _[What am I going to wear? A watch? I’m not getting my ears pierced. I form and reform myself all the time and I don’t see myself that way. I don’t think they’d stick around.]_

_[Hats, scarves, shoes, jewelry. That’s all accessories. Hell, the choice of shirt under a button up can be an accessory. That’s just another word for an accent, something that is distinctly you and stands out.]_

_[You wear graphic tees. Why do you know all of this?]_ Bobby wiggled out of his old jeans and tried to get into the button fly dark wash low rise whatevers Quire had passed over. It was a tight fit. _[Worse than unstable molecules …]_

_[First, I haven’t worn these in quite a while. Second, just because I used to doesn’t mean I haven’t developed a sense of style these days. I am the White King of the Hellfire Club, you know. I have to keep up appearances.]_

_[Wait you got a sense of fashion because you play around with a bunch of villains?]_ Bobby couldn’t help it, he brought up his memory of the Flight of the Conchords song, Fashion is Danger. _[This is now your theme song.]_ _Damn these pants, why is this so difficult?_

Bobby would be aware of him chuckling across the store. _[Being rich in general has an effect on style. Sometimes a bad one but I think I am doing fine.]_

The pants were on. Bobby turned from side to side and frowned. _[They’re sort of tight. Like really tight.]_

_[Bend over, stretch a bit. They’ll fit themselves to your shape. Also turn and look at your butt, the effect these pants have on that are worth any discomfort.]_

_[Quentin stop looking at my rear.]_ Bobby rolled his eyes and made use of the generous space in the changing room to do a few stretches. It wasn’t as easy to move in as icing over would be, but the material did have some impressive stretch and give to it. Bobby turned to the side again and looked at himself. It _was_ impressive. His eyes went back to his hair after a moment. Bobby looked at himself, at the wave pattern that was starting to come out. If he let it go much more it’d be longer than it ever had been. Even when he was little his parents had kept his hair close cropped.

_[You can’t blame me for looking at nice butts. Also, grow it out. Your hair, I mean. The hint of curls is looking good on you so far. I’m all in favor of curly hair.]_ Having found some items he wanted to try out Quentin went into a changing cabin of his own.

It wasn’t a bad look. Warren had always looked breathtaking when he chose to grow his hair out a bit. Bobby stared at himself in the mirror and wondered what his friend would think. _God I miss you man._ There were several more pairs of pants to try on. Though the price was dear he settled on picking all of them up, and five of the shirts. It was time to make a change. A big one. _[Maybe I will.]_

* * *

“So much better.” Quentin sighed in relief as they settled down in the corner of his favorite Italian restaurant. “Less people, less voices. Sometimes I wonder why the rest of the telepaths don’t stick around the school. It’s the only place where people are aware enough to keep their thoughts _mostly_ quiet.”

_Nice little spot, really actually nice_. Bobby liked Italian food as much as the next New Yorker. This place felt a bit rich for his blood, especially after the splurge earlier, but he was wearing that floral shirt and the first pair of jeans. He looked good and he was starting to feel good. Not only that, there was just a slight feeling of strain from having let Quire hide out in his head. “I’m always glad I didn’t get stuck with that gift.”

“Takes a special kind of person to handle being a telepath. It’s why I am not sure what nature was thinking giving me Omega level powers of that kind.” Quentin shrugged and opened the menu card. “And given that we are already talking about telepathy … have you considered therapy? For real this time. You have a lot of pent up anger and frustration going on, and I didn’t even try to look.”

“I’m in therapy.” Bobby rolled his eyes and picked up his menu as well. “I use an app. I don’t want to go to someone I know, which counts out every telepath basically. And I don’t want to show up at some poor civilian’s office. I’d be putting a lot of people in danger, plus I can’t keep a schedule.”

“That is … actually clever.” Quentin leaned back and gave Bobby a look before saying, a bit reluctantly, “It’s what I do but more because … I don’t want to know what my therapist is thinking while I am trying to work through my own issues.”

“Yeah, that’s doubly smart. I wouldn’t have even thought about that.” The scowl on his face sweetened into a smile, “So we’re like digital therapy bros now.”

“Is that a good thing? Have you ever noticed that everyone who sticks around the school eventually ends up a basket case? Every single X-Men is like a dream come true for psychological studies on PTSD and survivors guilt. Doesn’t that ever make you wonder if the existence of the team is more harmful than useful?”

“If we lived in a better world I would agree with you.” Bobby shrugged, “I’ve been off the team before. I’ve seen what life is like for regular mutants. We aren’t doing this because we want to, we do it because if someone doesn’t stand up we all get crushed.”

“Maybe we should. Maybe we aren’t the next step but rather an annoying occurrence of, well, mutation within a species and our continued struggle is just delaying the inevitable end. Just saying.”

“That’s defeatist and I refuse to believe it. When we all work together, when we open our hearts and stop letting fear rule our actions …” Bobby quit talking rolled his eyes and put down the menu, “I don’t know who I sound like, Xavier, Scott, or Hank. Look, I’m not going to let something I was born with, something so many people were born with, mark us for death. There’s nothing wrong with being who and what we are.”

“That is always so easy to say for people like us. For the ones with the useful and pretty mutations.” cocked his head he smirked, “Well, _us_ until one day the cosmic fire bird comes to make sure I do go insane.”

“Have you seen me as an old weird cosmic ice wizard? Have you seen me as a cold hearted selfish ice bastard?” Bobby sighed and shook his head, “You can’t start playing those games. One, you and I  don’t get to decide what lives are valuable. When Hank isn’t being stupid about himself he’s got a great thing going. Women actually dig the blue fur, same with Kurt. Chamber … yeah guy’s lacking some of his face, but ask him, he’s not going to tell you he’d rather not exist. Come on Quire. You live with these people, you know that.”

“Suppose that just me then.” Quentin shrugged, “Anyway, I am hungry so let’s figure out what to order.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closure is a relative, personal thing. Daken doesn’t agree on Laura’s no violence stance but he respects her choice. And he has a plan for some revenge of his own anyway. First though, there is someone to bury and talks to be had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Murder  
>  **Comics:** All New Wolverine #29 - 30
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Voices. Daken stayed completely still as he came back to reality. He instinctively knew that something was not right and that any sign of being awake would be dangerous. The floor beneath him was hard, icy cold steel and that alone made it difficult to not move but the fact that he could smell _blood_ and _Logan_ was far worse. There was also Sabretooth’s scent and one he wasn’t familiar with. Daken breathed in deeply and tried to recall how he had ended up here -

_Right. Orphan’s of X. My great idea to get captured and killed so I’d be a homing beacon to the Orphan’s headquarters._ In his defense, given the situation they had been in, this was not a bad plan. Except for the part where he was going to die. Daken knew that Laura would just bring him back once she found this place but this was still a little bit crazy. _Why am I not dead yet anyway? They had ample opportunity to just put a bullet in my brain._

It was then that someone dragged him up onto his feet. “You are awake, don’t play games animal.”

Daken gritted his teeth and forced himself to bite back a comment. He wouldn’t talk. If they tried for that again, they were in for it.

A moment later, as he was pushed down on his knees on a stage, Daken knew that he was _not_ going to be questioned and tortured. No. This was an execution. His eyes took in the crowd behind glass walls and he tried to recall if he knew any of these people. But his victims had never been _people_ to him. They were just targets. They meant nothing. Romulus had made sure to punish any hint of empathy until Daken stopped feeling anything.

Right then and there, Daken wished he still felt nothing. The sudden rush of guilt, regret and disgust that washed over him left him nauseous and short of breath. _All these people. We hurt these people. Logan, Laura, Creed … and me._ He had wanted revenge so badly for so long, it had driven him to madness and then into a deep depression that ended with his face in a puddle. Daken understood all too well how revenge could become an obsession. How it consumed everything else until there was nothing left but that cold hunger for it.

“Do you remember me?”

Daken looked up at the young woman. Black, slender, curly long hair and a scar running down her face that looked like it might have been caused by his claws. Daken did _not_ remember her. He suddenly wished he did.

“No, of course not.”

The gun pointed at him. Daken smelled the excitement of their audience rise considerably and he almost wanted to laugh. He was the animal? Daken had never felt excited about killing itself. It had only ever been the thought of being praised that did it. These people weren’t any better than them, than him -

The echo of the shot was followed by laughter and celebration.

* * *

The sound of a gun going off echoed in his head as he opened his eyes and looked directly into a pair of green ones. Gabby. Laura too. He smelled blood, death and – Daken turned his head and looked over at the lifeless body of that reality displaced version of Logan. His stomach turned and he sat up, trying to tell himself he was not feeling what he was feeling.

Laura gave him a meaningful look and then went on to revive the other three victims. Daken had half a mind to tell her to leave Creed to rot but the words wouldn’t come. She would ask why and then Daken would have to explain things he had no intentions of _ever_ explaining to anyone. Least of all his sister while his other little sister was in the room.

Gabby kept looking at him as he stretched and yawned. Daken just gave her a smile before he popped his claws. There was still a mobile phone stuck inside his stomach and that was generally not a good thing. The fact that, for some reason, he was naked made him wonder just _how much_ these people had really gotten off on murder. There weren’t any scents indicating _that_ though so he dismissed the thought.

Now that they were here the adrenaline was starting to wear off. Gabby was thinking about how this had all played out and it was looking more and more like a stupid dangerous plan. Laura and Old man Logan were talking but she didn’t really care. Her eyes were fixed on her brother. Gabby took a few steps towards him as he hopped from the table and began to strip the unconscious Orphan.

Once Daken had the pair of pants on and buttoned he turned to glance at Gabby. She looked worried. With a soft sigh he asked, “So, Honey Badger, the plan worked?”

“Yes. Your plan to cut yourself open, insert a phone and let yourself be killed and used as alive-tracking-piece-of-meat worked.” Though she was happy to see him alive Gabby couldn’t help the tone that crept into her voice. _I sound like Laura when she’s telling me I scared her._ “But I'd like to point out it was a stupid-ass plan.” Her breath puffed out in front of her as she tried to glare at him from behind her goggles.

Pulling the shirt over his head he took a few steps closer and smiled at Gabby, “I was in a hurry.”

With a huff she crossed her arms and looked up into his stupid smug face, “What if you had been thrown in an incinerator instead of a refrigerator?”

_She has never looked more like Laura than she does right now._ Daken raised his hand and booped his little sister’s nose, “I wasn’t.”

Despite the worry that had started to worm around in her stomach Gabby felt herself smiling. Daken was okay. They were all together, and Laura had a plan. Not only that, Daken had booped her. This was a moment she would cherish. It took the rough low voice of Sabertooth to turn her head from her brother.

“Where are we?”

“You're inside the headquarters of the Orphans of X, Creed.” Laura already looked to be completely done with everyone in the room.

“Well, that saves some time.” Gabby watched in fascination as Lady Deathstrike’s claw nails sprung forward, an odd companion to her silky voice. “Now I don't have to hunt them down.”

“No one will be hunting them, Lady Deathstrike, and we're not killing anyone.” It was almost a little scary to see Laura facing down Sabertooth and Deathstrike. Gabby moved closer, ready to back her sister up.

Daken arched one brow at that statement and regarded Laura with a curious gaze. These people had cloned her mother, hunted them like animals and tortured him. They had killed four of them, forced them to sacrifice pieces of their literal souls. And here Laura was, willing to let it all go. Daken almost started to laugh but then he would have to explain what was so funny and he had no desire to do that with Creed in the room.

Laura was everything that Logan never had been. And everything Daken wasn’t either. She could _let go_ of perfectly reasonable urges for revenge. It was – Daken did not know if there even were any words to describe how oddly proud and intimidated he felt at the same time.

“What?”

The look on Lady Deathstrike’s face as Laura grabbed her wrist was somewhere between rage and total surprise. The concept Laura was trying to communicate seemed to be totally over the woman’s head so Gabby tried to help her out. “No death. Today your name is just Lady Strike. Okay?”

To her surprise Lady Strike put her creepy cool blade claw nails away. “But … they killed us all.”

“Yes. And you got better. Let’s not dwell on it.” Laura answered. Gabby watched as she managed to get the entire room under her spell. “The problem is, it’s hard to argue against what the Orphans of X want. They came together because the people in this room took loved ones from them. I know it’s not that simple but if we hurt them we just confirm what they think of us. We just create more hatred. We need to own what we’ve been party to.”

No one dared to argue. Daken decided that if this was how Laura wanted to go about the situation, he was simply going to help her along. There was a certain logic behind her actions after all. More blood spilled would lead to more people wanting revenge and – ah yes, the never ending circle. Daken knew a thing or two about that.

* * *

It was over. This entire mess of kidnapping, murder and blackmail was over. Laura was recovering from having the Muramasa bullets removed, Gabby was with her and Daken had handled the question of the clone’s body. Things were considerably better than they had been but something still needed to be taken care of. Something Daken was not sure he was looking forward to.

Following the scent back into the main hall of the building he tensed as his eyes caught sight of Logan. They had stood side by side behind Laura. And yet they still had not said a single word to each other. Not back during the Roosevelt Island thing and not this time either. It was like he didn’t even exist and Daken was not a fan of being ignored. Not like that.

“Almost thought that you’d leave when we weren’t looking.”

Slowly Logan turned to face that young man with Itsu’s nose and lips. “I got places to be. Just waitin’ to see Laura back on her feet before I clear out.”

“Ah, so you _do_ see me. I was beginning to wonder if I was invisible to you.” Daken cocked his head, arms crossed and expression neutral, “Laura will be fine. She is stronger than either of us.”

“She is.” It was almost unbearably odd to look this man in the face, to see the mix of himself and that delicate iron boned woman he had been so in love with. The odd scent about him, the enhanced pheromones did not touch him, but they added a spice to the man’s scent that Logan could not quite decide if he liked or not. He shifted his weight from the balls of his feet back to the heels and decided to say a little more, “This world keeps throwin’ sons I never had at me.”

“Sons?” Daken narrowed his eyes and tensed, “As far as I’m aware, Logan has killed every last one of his other bastards. He tried with me too but I have the benefit of coming back from the dead.”

_Suppose if there’s a theme I stick to it. Killing what I love is in keeping with everything I know about myself._ “There’s a blond kid who’s not from around here. Jimmy.” Logan shrugged and sighed, “I don’t know you, there’s no Daken where I come from. I know what sort of man I am though, so I know there’s nothin’ between you and him that hasn’t been tainted by violence and rage.”

Jimmy. Laura had used that name too and Daken had assumed she was talking about a lover. What a foolish assumption that had been. They needed to talk about hiding siblings from him but that was for later. Right now Daken was dealing with learning that he was not being ignored because this version of his Father hated him but rather because he didn’t even exist in his world.

“Did you … were you ever engaged to a woman named Itsu?”

“Found her shot in the head. She was pregnant …” Logan closed his eyes and tried to go back in his mind. “I held her, but she was gone. I felt for the child but there was nothing all I smelled was death, it was too early …”

Daken closed his eyes and breathed out heavily. Another world, another dead mother. He wasn’t sure what he had been thinking expecting anything else. “I see … here, I survived but … guess my Father didn’t care to double check.”

“You might have survived there. The way things went down … I know your father got his memories back, that he learned a great many things. None o’ that ever happened to me, the world turned upside down and inside out. I don’t know if what I remember is real, if it’s what I’m supposed to remember. I stopped caring about any o’ that a long time ago.”

“Memories are tricky little bastards.” Daken shrugged and just looked at Logan for a long moment. This wasn’t his Father but then again, the real Logan had never exactly been a father figure to begin with. And he was dead. This one wasn’t. “So there might have been another version of me but you never met them. Good. If he’s anything like me, he would have just tried to kill you anyway.”

“It’s too bad he didn’t get his chance.” Logan shrugged and shook his head, “X-men might’ve lived to do somethin’ about the mess my world became if I weren’t there to kill them all.”

“So that’s the story. You killed all the people you loved and now you are punishing yourself for the rest of your life.” It was not even a question, just a statement. “Not that I know the X-Men particularly well but … I think they’d be pissed that you are doing that. They seem to be forgiving to a fault when it comes to their people.”

“Yeah this ain’t a conversation I need. You don’t know shit about what you’re saying bub.” Logan turned on his heel and started to walk away.

“The reaction says it’s _exactly_ the kind of conversation you need.” Daken followed. For some strange reason he was curious now and he also tended to be stubborn. “You aren’t the only person around here with too much blood on their hands. What you did doesn’t define who you are.”

“Hey, you don’t know shit about what happened bub. I’m not in the mood to get lectured by some over eager pup tryin’ to work his daddy issues out.” He turned his gaze onto the impossible being and tried not to see how they had the same eyes, the same ears, and the same stubborn persistence, “I ain’t your father.”

“I buried my Father so yes, I am aware you aren’t him. And sure, I’ve got … a lot of issues but if I were projecting them on you, I’d stay the hell away because I am not eager to die. Again.” Daken stopped walking and then sighed, “Look, I actually just meant to tell you that you need to show up for the funeral. Or I swear I will hunt you down and drag you there myself. Laura needs you to be there.”

That stopped him in his tracks. Logan turned back and looked at this man who could have been his son and wondered for a moment how they were so at odds. _What happened that put us against each other. Is it the self loathing? Is it something more?_ “Funeral?”

“Sarah Kinney, her mother. The Orphans cloned her, used her to get information from Laura. I ... I killed her. So the least I can do for my little sister is to give her a chance to mourn. To say goodbye.”

“There’s a body for her to bury.” Logan looked up at the ceiling and put his hands on his hips. It was something she’d never had in his world. _I remember putting you in the ground. I remember saying goodbye to the last good thing in my life …_ Though he hardly trusted his voice Logan met that hard gaze and nodded, “I’ll be there.”

“Good. We’ll contact you when the date is set.” Daken decided right then that he liked this version better already. Logan had this tendency to make things about himself. His pain, his guilt, his story. Half of the hatred Daken felt was based on that alone.

“You watch Gabby.” It was still important to him that someone kept an eye on her, that someone kept her from becoming like the monsters that had created her. This girl had a chance, and he wanted her to make it, he wanted that for both of them. “That girl needs … she just needs more than most people assume.”

There was a pause. They stood there, staring at each as the tension rose and the situation changed from tense conversation to actual confrontation. Daken narrowed his eyes and felt his hands flex. “Laura told me. What you did. She told me while crying on my shoulder and you know what I _really_ don’t like? People making my little sister sad. Almost as bad as people hurting either of them. Whatever the fuck happened in your world – do not project that bullshit onto an innocent child. You want to worry about someone? Worry about me hurting the people you love because that has an actual chance of happening.”

“Gabby’s a good girl here.” As Daken tensed and postured Logan found himself relaxing. A fight, that was something he knew and understood. He would welcome it. Everything since he’d woken up here had been totally out of his depth. This would be something he understood. “I don’t want that to change. That’s all I’m sayin’. You got a problem with that -,” Logan shrugged and widened his stance, “You’re welcomed to let your fists give me the full run down.”

Daken cocked his head and then rolled his eyes, “And indulge your need to simplify reality? No. I think I had my fair share of fighting _Wolverine_. I don’t need another round.”

“I’m not Wolverine. That’s your sister.” This time when he turned to go he had no intention of looking back. _Do you hate me yet?_

“Still Wolverine. You can’t outrun the past.” Daken sighed and then turned the other way. He wanted to check on Laura and he had enough of bonding time with the reality displaced version of his dead Father.

* * *

The door closed behind him silently and Daken breathed out in relief. Gabby had finally fallen asleep after two hours of crying and being angry. Laura had tried to comfort her first, Gabby was having none of it. LeBeau had worked for a little while but ultimately Gabby had demanded him. She was a child. Sometimes that was easy to forget but it always stayed true. And children were differently affected by emotionally stressful situations than most adults. The funeral had shaken something in Gabby and she was probably going to have to work through that over the course of several days.

For tonight though, Daken was grateful that she had fallen asleep. Laura had withdrawn into her own room and while he worried about her, Daken knew better than to force comfort on her. She’d come when she was ready. If all that abuse had prepared both of them for anything it was this; Knowing how to handle another survivor.

Daken wandered through the new apartment for a moment and then decided to follow that scent of liquor and cigarette smoke onto the balcony. LeBeau had the right idea as far as coping went. At least for someone who could get drunk with relative ease. His healing factor was back to operating at full capacity and now drinking would be more of task than an enjoyment.

“You going to share that?” Daken cocked his head as he settled himself on top of the railing, back towards the free fall a good twelve stories down. “Sharing is caring, or so I hear.”

The city lights below them, the river, it was breathtaking. Remy managed to tear his eyes away to look at Daken. He’d come a long way since the first time he’d laid eyes on the devil. “You need a smoke mon amie?” The pack emerged from his inner breast pocket. Rather than pick out a cigarette Remy shock the pack expertly which caused one to pop up as he held his hand towards Daken.

With a soft chuckle Daken played along, leaning in and taking the offered smoke with his lips. As he leaned back he arched brow in expectation of being offered a light.

This was not an unfamiliar game. Remy had played it with both men and women since he was old enough to try. In fact he had even played it with Logan. Without missing a beat he leaned forward with only a minor flourish as he raised his lighter to complete the flirtatious transaction.

Daken inhaled the smoke, tilted his head back and blew it out. The sky above them was clear and they were high enough to see a few stars even. “Now that is how you offer a smoke to someone.” Meeting these interesting black and magenta eyes he smiled lazily, “As charming as they say.”

“You already know I’m easily twice as charmin’ as they say.” Remy shrugged and turned back to the view.

“Do I? I remember you insulting my looks and not falling for my charm most of all.” Daken made a playfully offended expression.

“You were displayin’ extremely bad taste and judgment mon amie.” His eyes moved to the side and a knowing, almost mischievous grin spread over his lips, “You were not the splendid figure I stand next to today.”

That drew another chuckle from him and he shook his head, “You must be out of touch with your teammates. I am a terrible person, I kidnap kids and stab love interests.”

“Oh I got the full report, but unlike Kitty I listened to Johnny Storm, Drake, and your sister.” Remy turned to face Daken and pushed his hand through his hair, more for effect than anything else. “I am well aware that appearances are not always what they seem.”

“I still did what I did.” Daken cocked his head and arched a brow at Remy, “I’ve done a lot of things that … I’m not proud of. Laura likes to act as if my actions don’t weigh as heavily as others because I have a sob story to go with them but … she’s wrong. I am what I am and I did what I did. No one but me is responsible for that.”

“Yeah we all gotta answer for the things we done.” A wind picked up and pulled at his white button down. It wasn’t _cold_ , but it was cold enough to remind him of being left in the arctic given the topic of their conversation. “I’ve done plenty I’m not proud of. Stuff I’m not sure I can ever make up for. Some of that was on me, some of that - well I’ve been a Horseman and a patsy for Sinister.”

“I know.” Daken shrugged, “I did my research before going off the deep end and deciding that kidnapping a student ia the answer to all my problems. I tried, you know, handling it quietly. I would have even gone and asked for help if I believed that the X-Men would do anything but attack me on sight. I don’t ever want to know what Logan has told any one of you about me. Especially not after ...” He trailed off and waved a hand, “Nevermind.”

“Logan didn’t have much to say about you at all.” Remy took another drag before continuing, “Laura though, she talks to certain people. You aren’t the first person we ever known who started out on the wrong side. Rogue, Quicksilver, me, all of us started off on the other side. None of us had the whole story.”

“Ah yes, I suppose I should have expected that. After all, I was never anything but a shameful annoyance to him.” Daken chuckled bitterly and then reached over, taking the tumbler from Remy to empty it. “Nothing but a reminder that everything he’s ever touched was tainted.”

It did not phase him, Daken taking the tumbler. Remy leaned down to retrieve the bottle. “Normally I wouldn’t say it but Logan is gone, you buried him. Laura doesn’t know so she can’t tell you. Kurt … you don’t know him, Summers, he’s gone.” Once the tumbler was full, not a shot, not one or two inches of liquor, but full Remy set the bottle down. He continued earnestly, “He talked about you when he was drunk, and he didn’t hate you. He wasn’t ashamed of you.”

“He drowned me in a muddy puddle.” His tone was flat and his expression neutral. “I wanted him to, sure but he still had to do it. All I did was give him a push. The shame, the hate, the anger – it was all there. I didn’t create it, it’s not even how my powers work. I can manipulate people, yes, it’s quite easy but there is a limit to everything.”

“Daken, you’re no coo-yon. You ever stop’n think all this ugliness between you, at least on his side, has got almost nothin’ to do with you? Logan was made of passion, bad jokes, stubbornness, shame, and complete self loathing.”

“Good job on unloading all of it onto my shoulders then.” Giving the glass back he slid down from his perching spot on the railing and changed the topic, “Do you plan to stay here for a few days?”

“And you will as well mon amie?” Remy lifted a brow in question.

“No.” Daken held up a hand before Remy could scold him, “While they tortured me so lovingly for three days, I got a piece of information that I need to follow up on. This is personal and it can’t wait. It’s already driving me crazy.”

No argument would suffice against that expression. Remy could see it. Instead of putting up any resistance he simply nodded. “I will look after your sisters.”

“Good. I know this isn’t the perfect time to go MIA but … I’ve waited three days so I could be here for the funeral, now I just need to do this. It’s not like I won’t come back.”

“You had better come back quickly.” Remy sighed and then shifted knowing the motion would catch Daken’s gaze. Once they were making eye contact he spoke, “We’re family, Laura, Gabby, you, and me.”

“Hah, I wonder what Logan would think of _that_.” Daken chuckled and shook his head, “Good thing I won’t ever find out.”

“Mon frère, should we ever have to find out I’ll stand by your side.” Remy held out his hand.

Taking the offered hand he smiled and slid down from his spot on the railing, “Good to know. Now, how about ice cream and a movie? I am too high strung to sleep just yet.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby has an unexpected visitor but things aren’t what they seem to be at first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Stalking, Implied/Referenced Attempted Murder, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, Implied/Referenced Domestic Abuse, PTSD, Therapy
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Thirty two days. A bit over one month. Judah knew that, logically, this wasn't a long time span. Not in the greater picture of life. What was a month compared to the last thirty four years of his life? Nothing. And yet that single month felt longer than the previous two. The paradox of perception of time. Having fun, enjoying life, feeling happy - these were things that passed by in the blink of an eye. Recovery, nightmares and loss on the other hand wore time down to a slow, painful grind.

Judah had never been someone to pay a lot of attention to time. He liked the freedom of his job and the bendable deadlines. For the past month he had found himself oddly focused on how each day pushed back the last time he’d seen Bobby further and further. It felt like sitting inside his father’s car and watching the house he lived in get smaller and smaller through the back window. Judah remembered that distinctly from being a child and moving with his family _again_. They had moved a lot and each time had been painful. Leaving behind all the things he knew, the people he loved and whatever plans and hopes he had built.

Maybe the fact that as a child he could do nothing about that loss had brought him back here. Back to the school. He was not a child anymore and he wasn’t unable to get out of the car and turn back. That meant he had to own up to the mistake he had made. Another one of these annoying parts of growing up.

Standing at the edge of the grounds he fiddled with his phone and then pressed _call_. The line rang, rang, rang – Judah whined and groaned at himself. The moment Bobby had answered, he hung up. This was ridiculous. He was supposed to have his shit together! He didn’t. With a sigh he send a short text instead and prayed that Bobby would actually come out here to talk to him.

“So just show your work. It’s just five problems guys.” Bobby looked around the class and then waved his hand, “Go on, it’s a beautiful day. Go enjoy the fact that there haven’t been any major threats this week …

“Mr. Drake do you wanna build a …”

“No, no I don’t. I’ve told you guys, in this class we recognize that Lilo and Stich is the superior sister movie. Now get out before I change my mind.” It was amusing to watch them all race for the door. It was only once his classroom was empty that he checked his phone. Once he’d updated his Grindr and other profiles with pictures in his new clothes, which Kitty and others were only too happy to help with, he’d had to stop carrying his phone in his pocket. It was either that or turn off all alerts and he wasn’t going to do that. It was really an ego boost to wake his phone up and see all those notifications. Men thought he was cute, men thought he was sexy. It was freeing and validating. 

“One missed …” _Judah._

There were several ‘z’s in front of Judah’s name, a further reminder that things had ended badly. Bobby hadn’t wanted to think of Judah and his great smile, or how he’d laughed at all Bobby’s stupid jokes. Rather than put it off he opened the message and then blinked. _Here? You’re here? Why?_

“The answer isn’t in this classroom Drake.” Bobby took a deep breath and then walked over to the windows. He could see enough of a reflection to check his hair, still in need of a trim, and his clothes, skinny jeans with an diagonal block stripe printed v-neck tee in blue and yellow. _Yeah I look okay._ He smoothed his hands over himself for a moment as he gathered his courage. _He might need help. Who knows what sort of nut job could be putting pressure on him?_

With that thought in mind he opened the window and iced up to his knees before surfing down. _There._ “Uh … hi?” Bobby stepped off of his slide and the ice on his legs fell away. “So you’re here.”

There was no reply, not for a good long moment. Judah was a bit taken back by both the fact that Bobby had actually come out here and the way Bobby was dressed. There was something different in how he held himself too. It had only been a month and things seemed to have moved on for Bobby. _I shouldn’t have come here. This was a terrible idea._

“I practiced what I was going to say but now I am still at a loss for words.” Pushing a hand through his hair he sighed nervously, “You’d think as a writer I would always know how to express myself but no.”

Even though he’d done his best not to get hung up over Judah, even after kissing two other guys and going out on a date with a third Bobby had found himself missing this man. Looking at him now Bobby couldn’t quite parse out what he was feeling. It was complicated and messy, conflicted even. “Just … just put it out there.”

“I miss you, Bobby.” There it was. Out in the open and now Judah wanted to randomly sink into the ground never to be seen again.

Though it was a simple phrase it didn’t simplify anything. Bobby found himself moving through a variety of poses as he tried to work out what he felt, and more importantly what to say. His crossed his arms over his chest, put a hand on his hip, and then pushed both his hands through his hair. With a loud frustrated sigh Bobby finally said, “I miss you too but whatever was between us is over Judah. You made that choice and it’s final.”

“Yeah, I know.” That was a better reaction than Judah had expected. Part of him had been sure he’d walk away from this with a black eye. It would not be the first time. “I am not here to beg you to take me back. Although I certainly have been enough of an idiot to try that in the past so fair to assume it. But really, I just – I miss talking to you. I miss the way you made me smile.”

“Wait so you’re not trying to get back together with me?” Bobby blinked several times and cocked his head, “You came all the way out here just to make up as friends?”

“Yeah, I guess I did.” Judah nodded and then asked, “Is that weird? That might be weird.”

“You live in California, I live in New York, it’s sort of a big trip.” It was one thing to have friends that you would die for, that you would drop everything for when a crisis hit. It was another thing entirely to have someone come across the country because they valued him as a person and wanted to repair or salvage their friendship. As a group of teens walked by Bobby realized that they were just doing this out on the front lawn. “Look, do you want to come in?”

“Yeah, maybe the front lawn is not the perfect place for serious conversation.” Judah looked after the group of teens and then remarked, “Some mutations sure are eye catching. Huh …” The arched brow that got him made Judah chuckle, “Sorry, writers habit. Just had something like an idea maybe. Possibly. Depends on if I remember this when I’ve got the time to write.”

“Come on.” Bobby motioned and then lead the way. He considered using his ice wings, or making ice stairs, or several other possible methods of avoiding the hallways. In the end he lead Judah through the school. Hiding anything gave him a sickening twist of the stomach these days. If Quire, Kitty, Kurt, or Illyana saw them it would earn him meaningful looks at the very least. That was just reality though, hiding wasn’t an option. 

The school had been cleaned up. Which was good because Judah certainly did not need a reminder that he had bled all over these stairs and this hallway. He remembered. Vividly. One hand absently rubbed over his chest where he now had some lovely scars to talk with potential partners about.

“Here we are. I let my last class out early because I’d broken most of their brains with numbers so I’ve got the rest of the afternoon free.” Bobby opened the door to his room, and then stood aside so Judah could walk past him. “Make yourself at home.”

“So ...” Judah looked around and then chuckled, “At least here nothing’s changed, that’s a little comforting.” Video games, books, papers and snacks everywhere. It reminded him a bit of his own study room, minus the games.

The door closed and Bobby met Judah’s gaze, “What do you mean?”

“You’ve changed.” He turned back to Bobby and gave him a once over, “Style wise, I mean. But also … I don’t know, you seem more comfortable with yourself.”

“I’m tired of hiding.” It was a theme, it was _the_ theme he’d been working on over the last month. “I’ve been talking to a therapist and my friends here. I want to lead a team, uh, an X-man team. I’m not sure if that makes sense to you, but it means I’ve got to handle my baggage and get my head on right.”

There was a pause and then Judah just settled down on the couch. It was a lot to take in and he felt a whole range of conflicting emotions all at once. Judah had not come here to get back together but there was no denying that he still felt incredibly attracted to Bobby and this was not helping. After a moment he chuckled, “Yeah, I’ve got a therapist myself now. Apparently being stabbed doesn’t just hurt physically.”

“Yeah.” Bobby sighed as he moved to join Judah on the sofa. “I … I never really got a chance to apologize for getting you stabbed and assaulted.”

“It was not your fault, Bobby. What happened, happened. I mean, I kinda wish someone would find the guy and lock him up but I have a suspicion that wouldn’t work anyway. Either way, I am not staying in California because I can’t say I like looking over my shoulder constantly.”

“Whoah what?” _Did he just -_ “That was a lot, you’re moving _and_ you want someone to find Daken? Why?”

“Looked into who the hell that guy was. Turns out there isn’t much on him out there but what I do know is that he seems to live in Los Angeles and so I’m not going to stay there. Haven’t decided where to go yet but anywhere is better than there.” Judah shrugged, “Not sure why it comes as a surprise that I’d like the person who tried to kill me behind bars.”

_Okay, so remember normal people don’t understand Death Seeds._ “Last I heard he wasn’t in the country. Daken’s … it’s complicated.” Bobby looked up at the ceiling and then back at Judah. “Being a mutant is - well sometimes it makes us vulnerable to uh … to personality changing foreign objects, like the Death Seed. Daken was infected when he attacked you and the school.”

“Mentally ill people might not be in their right mind either but they still face consequences, Bobby. We are all responsible for our actions, to what degree may differ but it’s still true.”

“Do you remember a few years back when the entire world froze over?” _Oh this is it, this is the end._

“I think everybody remembers _that_. There’s something strange happening every other week but that was out of the ordinary even for this crazy world filled with super powered people.”

“That was me Judah.” Bobby swallowed and continued, “I ended up with a Death Seed and I nearly wiped out everything on the face of the planet because of my unresolved issues and the fact that I’m an omega level mutant with virtually no limit, and you know, being gay.”

There was a long pause as Judah simply sat there and tried to wrap his head around that. This didn’t make any sense. The Bobby he had gotten to know was sweet, gentle and deeply caring. The idea that someone like that could snap and -

“Oh.” Judah blinked, “So Daken … no. No, he is a known criminal. That isn’t the same thing. You can’t compare yourself to someone who was already rotten at the very core.”

“Yeah my day job is saving the world. I flipped out and just about wrecked it because of a Death Seed. Daken … I don’t know - I agree with you, I think he should be brought in.” Bobby scratched the back of his neck and made a face, “I think we should make sure the seed is gone, and then … I don’t know. He’s not the sort of guy a jail cell is going to hold easily. There are super prisons but …” _Is that where I belong? People died, they had to have, when I lost it. Daken didn’t even kill anyone. I did. No one will talk to me about it but I’ve looked into what happened. I know._

“Someone so dangerous and unstable shouldn’t be allowed to just run free. This type of thing is why people can’t get over the whole Mutant hating bullshit. I don’t agree with the stance and I hate when everyone is lumped into the same boat as the few bad examples but I still understand that fear. And shouldn’t your team be addressing that? Handle it?”

“That was the plan. The X-men and the Avengers were looking for him, but he’s currently laying low out of the country. Like I said, I’d like him brought in.” _I’d like Laura to bring him to the school, and then I’d like to make sure he isn’t going to become a Horseman. Porcupine Daken is terrifying._

“That’s something at least. I just thought … aren’t there Mutants who can track someone? Maybe I am obsessing about this too much. My therapist thinks so.”

“His sister could track him. Laura Kinney, the new Wolverine. We’ve got a few others who could too. The thing is, Daken is a genius, and he knows how to disappear. He’s also the sort to fight to the death when cornered. Just going after him could get a lot of innocent people hurt.” 

“Ah, so he just gets to keep on living his life. What a lucky bastard.”

“I’ve been doing this a long time, since I was a kid even. Most of the people who’ve hurt me are still out there, and the list isn’t short.” It was hard to remember that normal people needed closure in this way. “What do you think a fair punishment would be, you know, if we caught him?” 

“That’s not for me to decide. We have a system of law for a reason, Bobby. I don’t presume that I am unbiased because I really am not. I’d want him to sleep as shitty as I do now for the rest of his damn existence. Bonus points for making him as uncomfortable with the idea of contact as I am right now. So, in short – good thing I don’t get to make that call.”

_Could we get him into any of the prisons? Is that where he belongs? Why am I defending him at all? Daken has been living on the wrong side of the law for longer than I’ve been alive._ “If we bring him in I’ll make sure you know. I don’t think he’s going to fixate on you though. That doesn’t seem to be his style.”

Judah looked up then and met these icy blue eyes, “You haven’t quite figured it out yet, have you? Oh that’s … that does explain why you aren’t worried at least.”

“What? What did I miss?” It wasn’t out of the ordinary, not in the least. Bobby was well aware that he was the leader of the Space Cadet Academy. 

“Bobby, I was nothing more than a tool. Conveniently there for him to use to get you riled up. You said he was handsy and flirty the last time you saw him on that party. Then he shows up, at your home, lures all of your friends outside so he can have a private moment with _you_.” Judah shook his head, torn between worry and amusement now, “I can’t believe you haven’t figured out yet that this creep is into you.”

“Is he?” Bobby made a face and thought about it, “I thought he was just really mad that I threw a giant snowflake shuriken into his stomach.” Bobby thought about it, and he kept coming back to the dance and how Daken had been quite forward, and oddly aware of his having come out and his relationship status. 

“I’d be a bit mad about that too, not to defend him, just saying.” Judah sighed and pushed a hand through his hair, “That wasn’t it though. He knew we were together, he knew that I’m Jewish. He was jealous about sex we didn’t even have. Trust me, guys tend to make the kind of comments he made only when they are either homophobic, closeted or interested. I don’t think the first two apply to that asshole.”

“We’ve never really interacted though. I … that night at Meantime was the first we’d ever -” Bobby shook his head, “Sure, a lot of people know who I am because I’ve been on TV and I did Vines, I tweet and all that, but … just how?”

“Really? I saw you and just started flirting. I didn’t know your name, I didn’t know you were a Mutant, or even if you were just reading that book because your best friend came out or something. And yet here you are wondering if someone might just find you really attractive and interesting?”

“I …” Bobby stared out at nothing for a while and then back at Judah, “Daken is like … is he my stalker? Is that what happened?” 

"I mean ... maybe?" Judah frowned, contemplating that for a moment before shrugging, "I don't think that's it. Not really. A stalker acts more charming and tries a lot harder to win over the target. This was more like an obsession."

“An obsession?” Bobby frowned and thought back over everything. Over all the interactions, and the sickening angry feeling he’d experienced every time he was near Daken. “It was almost like something was pulling us together, forcing us. The Death Seed was able to affect me even from inside of Daken, I felt it, and I know what it feels like.”

“I have no idea what that thing actually is but if it affected you than it logically affected him as well.” Judah cocked his head and then asked, “Could it influence someone to have an obsession?”

“Yeah it could. It split me against myself. The freaky repressive side of me went around being weird and mean and froze my father’s heart. The rest of me was all shattered to pieces and obsessed over trying to protect all the women I’ve ever loved?” Bobby made a face. “It was … it was bizarre and weird. I was hyper focused on being strong and masculine, on being seen as powerful. The Death Seed has desires, it has its own agenda. Daken was a stubborn host though, he fought it every step of the way …” Bobby’s eyes went wide, “Oh frost off self.”

“What? What just happened? You realized something didn’t you?” There was a curious look on his face and Judah couldn’t help adding, “It wanted to be back with you, didn’t it? Because that Daken guy wasn’t as easy to push and pull in every direction as it pleased.”

“Yeah that’s my thinking. I had the strangest impulses when I was near Daken. The grossest urges.” Bobby scrunched his face up and shook his head, “I don’t know if the seed can move inside a person. I really should’ve found a better way to deep freeze it inside of Daken. Kissing him was dangerous.”

“Excuse me?” Hazel eyes widened in surprise and then Judah was off the couch and looking clearly upset, “You _kissed_ him?”

Bobby understood what he had said too late, but as much as he regretted what he had done, that was hindsight. He stood by past him making the tough call. “It was like mouth to mouth. What I needed to do was stop the seed entirely, get Daken free of it’s influence so that he’d see that this was all a very bad idea. If I could have just frozen him from the inside out the way I had in the past I would have but with the way the Death Seed was being pumped up, the thing is vaguely self aware even, and well I had to make sure that I froze the seed itself and not just Daken’s body - I had to catch them both by surprise.”

“I – okay fine. You had a reason for it. Okay but that was a bad idea. That was the worst idea.” Pushing both of his hands through his hair Judah sighed heavily, “You might have caught his interest for real now. So … I don’t know, maybe just be careful?”

“I think one of the things we learned from this mess is I’m absolutely a match for Daken.” Despite the fact that this was in fact a dangerous situation Bobby was smiling. It wasn’t a big broad smile, but it was clear that he was confidant. 

There was a short pause and then Judah asked, slowly, “You do know that what you just said sounds less like it is about fighting and more like you are thinking with parts downstairs instead of your actual brain, yes?”

“No! Wow Judah are you just looking for this? Unintended double meaning man!” Color rose from his throat and spread over his face quickly, “No way! What I mean, what you know I mean, is I took him out twice! The second time I even had a severe handicap. I can put his butt on ice any time.”

Bobby’s reaction was not even close to what Judah expected. It had been more of a joke than anything else but here Bobby was, all flushed cheeks and desperate denial. He had not even noticed that Judah was trying to shift the situation from serious to something more relaxed. “Oh.” He blinked and then, “ _Oh my God_ , you think he is hot!”

“What? Why are you saying that?” The accusation settled in him like a nuke. Bobby found himself up and pacing without a chance to stop himself. “He’s … I mean he’s easy to look at but I don’t understand how that’s - What does it have to do with anything?”

“You let him go, didn’t you?” Judah stood up as well and crossed his arms, “It didn’t make sense to me back then. I wondered how he could get away when you could have literally frozen him in place and just left him there to be picked up by someone. Now I get it. You didn’t lose him, you let him leave. Because you are either really into him or you felt pity. I am not sure which is worse but I hope you aren’t comparing your situation to his.”

“I’ve got no idea what’s going on with Daken outside of the fact that he’s had a Death Seed festering inside him for _years_. It took a few months to turn me into an evil frostbag who wanted to freeze over not only the entire world but also, let’s not forget, his own father’s heart.” His gestures were getting big, his arms were moving around, hands continually pointing back at himself, “I know that previous to his run in with me Daken had actually been on a bit of a reform. You said you looked into him? That means you saw the stuff from Roosevelt Island right?”

"Okay, slow down." Judah raised a hand, clearly taken aback by the realization of what had actually happened that day. "Just - just why, Bobby? How can you find someone attractive who has literally been nothing but violent and creepy?" Bobby seemed to almost want to say something but now that Judah had started talking, he found it impossible to leave it at that, "This guy, who is apparently Wolverine's son, he comes and steals one of your students. He flirts with you uncomfortably, even gets handsy. And then he shows up at your home and he fucking forces me to enjoy a kiss I definitely never wanted and because that's not enough he stabbed me through the chest and left me to bleed out! I almost died Bobby! I will forever run around with three scars on my chest and back which will be really fun to explain to partners. And you think the guy who did it hot and you let him go?! Because what, he showed up once to help out?"

Bobby felt himself blanch a little and hurriedly fumbled out the first thing that came to mind, “So it sounds bad when you say it outloud like that …”

With an annoyed sigh Judah crossed his arms in front of his chest and told himself to just breath for a moment. The anger was misplaced. Bobby hadn’t been the one who assaulted him. “Okay, listen – I adore you Bobby. You are sweet and caring, and funny but good Lord, speak to your therapist about the fact that you give everyone the benefit of doubt – even murdering potential rapists. Because that has got to have some underlying psychological reason and you need to deal with it. There are some people who don’t deserve another chance because that second chance might just get someone killed or psychologically scarred for the rest of their lives.”

“I didn’t give Scott a second chance and then he died.” The words were out before he could stop them or think about what he was saying or why. 

_Scott_. Bobby had mentioned the name – _His sort of adoptive older brother._ With a little sigh Judah stepped closer and held out his arms, “Come here, I’m not mad. I am worried about you. I know the asshole is never going to come anywhere near me again because he probably doesn’t even recognize that I’m a human being but he just might hurt you and that’s scary.”

It happened, the hug, and then Bobby had to fight to hold back tears, to keep from crying on Judah about how much he regretted not having reconciled with Scott. There was a chance that maybe Scott would come back, but Jean was still gone, and Warren was gone, and Hank wasn’t like the person he’d grown up with anymore. _The band is broken up and it isn’t ever getting back together._ He felt a pang of jealousy for the micro frosty as well as an urge to hug the little Scott. “I’ll be careful, I promise.”

Stroking Bobby’s back he held him close and felt surprised by how this didn’t bother him. He should be mad. He wanted Daken locked up and the key thrown away, he wanted that asshole to feel as off balance as he himself did now. And yet, this was Bobby and Judah had grown really attached to him in a very short time. Life was complicated.

“Good. And talk to someone, please. You’ve got all that guilt and it’s going to kill your eventually.”

“I am, I’m talking to my therapist and Quire and Zach even though Zach refuses to talk to me.” 

“Yeah maybe tell one of these people that you have bad taste in men too. Yeah, that includes me because I did break up with you in a really shitty way and I am still sorry about that.”

“It was the ally comment that really upset me you know.” Bobby pulled back enough to look Judah in the eyes, “I get not wanting to keep doing this, I totally get this being too much. It was just … you saying it right then like that, it made me feel like it wasn’t the danger you were afraid of.”

“It isn’t. I was afraid of falling in love and then losing you. It hit me while I laid there and thought I was going to die. You were fighting this asshole who had just stabbed me casually and I realized you could die on me. Just out of nowhere and _that_ terrifies me.”

The temptation to kiss Judah right then was very, very high but Bobby held himself back. The both of them had moved on and he didn’t want a relationship like Kitty and Piotr, or Julio and Shatterstar. Either he was with someone or he wasn’t. They’d tried and it hadn’t worked. “It is scary. I get that, and I still would have been hurt, I still would have walked out, but if you hadn’t added that line about wanting to be my ally I would’ve come back.”

“I’m sorry. We are okay now though, yeah? I missed talking and just seeing you.”

“Yeah. We’re arctic.” Making the joke helped as did the fact that they were still hugging. It was nice to have a friend he could just touch. “Remember, I missed you too shoemaster.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start off in Madripoor with a bit of catharsis for Daken but he finds himself called back to New York City earlier than planned. There is a situation and it seems to be of concern to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Murder, Implied/Referenced Child Trafficking
> 
> **Note:** We are officially inside an Alternative Universe. Everything from here on out disregards canon. This does not mean there won’t be certain events and references to canon but we are no longer following Marvel’s script. So welcome to _Earth - 4214._
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Madripoor was the same stinking, filthy cesspool of criminality, drug trade, prostitution and murder that it always had been. Daken could not deny that he felt pleasantly at home among the scum of the earth. It was like coming back to himself and heavens yes, he was having a _good_ time. There was just nothing like hunting down a series of people who were willing to sell _children_ to adults for sex. Daken had _opinions_ about the proper consequences for that and they included a whole lot of blood.

There was proof of it on the floor of this shitty little apartment, a pool of cooling blood. This had been the last one. All the people he had trusted to keep his show going were officially dead now – for betraying him. Daken did not like being stabbed in the back. He favored the front and in a different context preferably. With a sigh he sat down on the couch, a bottle of wine in hand. He took his time pouring himself a glass. No one was going to interrupt him. This was Madripoor, no one gave a single fuck about death.

Daken had come here mostly to satisfy the need to clean up a mess he had not even known was there until some pathetic excuse of villain had put him through a round of torture. It was not just that though. He was looking for intel too. Someone out there was selling information about him. Deeply private information that Daken had believed no one alive knew at this point, aside from himself of course. This was more than just an annoyance, it was a dangerous problem.

And a far more complicated one than expected too. None of his informants seemed to know anything, branching out had not helped, he had found no one with useful information. It was … unsettling to say the least. Daken felt uncomfortably reminded of the fact that he had been out of the loop with the less than perfect part of the world for too long. This was getting dangerous in and of itself now, he couldn’t afford losing contacts. Laura and her wonderful idealistic world view be damned – Daken wasn’t her and he would never be like her either. His eyes moved to the corpse as his mind circle these dark thoughts. _This is part of me and I of it._

He made sure to clean any evidence away before leaving the apartment through the window and down the fire escape. In the early morning Daken planned to get back to the states. A month away looking for a shadow that he couldn’t reach was long enough. Maybe he was just being paranoid about that one little throw away line. Maybe it had meant nothing.

* * *

The sound of his phone ringing woke him up in the middle of the night a few hours later. With a groan he rolled over, he reached for his phone and answered with a sleepy voice, “If this isn’t important I’ll be really annoyed sis. It’s two in the morning here.”

“You need to come back.” It was clear Laura was keeping her voice even on purpose, clear that she was holding something back. Which meant it was series, normally managing her tone was quite second nature to Laura and her feelings were quite unreadable. 

That was all it took for Daken to sit up, roll out of bed and switch the lights on. “Laura, you’re good at pretending but your voice trembled and whatever the hell is going on has to be huge. Just tell me, sis.”

“There’s a situation.” The way she said the word ‘situation’ was conflicted. She was worried but hopeful at the same time. “I don’t know what sort of news you hear in Madripoor - we’ve lost the Gold team, they’re alive but imprisoned. I need you here, at the school, now.”

“The hell are the X-Men doing getting stuck in prison? Last I checked you guys were supposed to be the good ones.” Daken was getting dressed as he spoke and then using his second phone to book a flight back to the states. “Also what do you want with me? Oh, do I get to break them out? Please tell me I get to break into prison for the X-Men because that would be hilarious.”

“If Jennifer Walters doesn’t win their court case I might have to ask you to.” The thought was unpleasant but it would be far from the worst thing she had done. “No, I need you here because I need you here and that has to be enough for now. Talking about it over the phone isn’t safe.”

“Already booked my flight, sweetheart. You need me, I’ll be there. I don’t break the few promises I do make.”

“Gabby wanted to know if you were bringing her anything. She seems to think there are gift shops in Madripoor. I’m only telling you this to warn you. She had an entire adventure with Deadpool while you were gone so be prepared for stories and questions.”

“I’m not sure if I am more worried about my little sister or Wilson in that kind of situation to be honest.” Daken shook his head, slid his boots on and then started throwing stuff into his bag. “Also how did you know I’m in Madripoor …. oh because of the time difference. Well there goes my cover story of just having gone on vacation to France.”

“Daken, I know you. You had a look, you asked Remy to look after us, I knew you were in Madripoor before I called, the time difference was just a nice bit of confirmation.”

There was a short pause and then Daken said, “They turned my trap into reality, Laura. I died and they ...”

The emotion she heard in Daken, what she could read beneath the anger, told her this wasn’t just another back slide into old behavior. This trip had been different. Her mind raced to put it all together - “Oh god. Daken why didn’t you tell me?”

“So you’d come along and return to the same old pattern? No. This was my mess and my job to clean up. You’re doing good, Laura. You moved on from this. I haven’t and I won’t. Let’s not pretend there is ever going to be a real chance for me.”

“There are a lot of people who agree with you. I’m not one of them and neither is Gabby. Johnny Storm has called me five times since you’ve been gone. You won Remy over. You have people who care about you Daken, people who believe in you.”

“All of you are fools. Besides, since when does having someone care make anyone into a good person? Logan had plenty who cared and he still did what he did. I am who I am.” With his coat on and the bag over his shoulder Daken left the motel room and headed for the stairs. “It’s not as if they didn’t have it coming, now is it? Anyone willing to sell kids might as well be as rotten as the people buying.”

“I won’t argue with that. There’s no point. But you are different from those people.” Her throat closed as she thought about Logan. “Daken you know -”

“I know.” He interrupted calmly. This was not something he could deal with right now. Maybe the twenty hours of flight time would sooth things to a workable level again but in that moment Daken just didn’t want to hear it. “I know, Laura. See you in about twenty one hours.”

* * *

There was a tradition in the X-men which involved the team to rehabilitating villains. Magneto was one of the first, but Rogue was also a founding member of that proud tration. Pietro and Wanda, the children of the infamous Magneto. _Wait are they his kids? I can’t keep it straight these days._ Remy was on the list, and some would say Logan and Laura were too. It didn’t always work out, Magneto had frequent relapses, Wanda had decimated them and so on. It didn’t stop them. They were always going to give people second and millionth chances. _Unless your name is Scott Summers._

The fact that they’d just signed off on a guy who’d been manipulated by Mesmero wasn’t enough. No, as much as he’d made Rogue work to sell him on it Bobby wasn’t all that bothered. He could take care of a fire starter. Lasker wasn’t the issue here. The fact that it was still before noon and he was expecting Daken son of Logan to roll up any minute, now that was a problem. Both Laura and Quire were standing together waiting in a strange sort of quiet. It seemed Jimmy couldn’t pick something to focus on, his eyes roved over the faces and items in the room, confused and likely anxious about meeting the black sheep of the family. Part of him had wanted to bring Jubilee in on this but he knew that the team had to be small and her powers weren’t a good fit for this situation. _Besides, someone has to stay here with Rogue and keep the freaking school open since everyone else is in prison._

Jimmy leaned against the wall with his arms crossed and just watched the other people in the room. The tension in the air was almost palatable. Meeting the grown up version of his teammate was a little bit strange but compared to what was coming, it ranked pretty low on the scale of things he wished he didn’t have to do. Gabby had told him about a million times that Daken was the best big brother ever and that he had nothing to fear. Judging from the looks on Quire and Drake’s faces Jimmy was not entirely sure she knew what she was talking about.

Shifting a little he sighed and then asked, “Are we sure that introducing me _and_ telling Daken about _it_ at the same time is a good idea?”

“There isn’t time to treat Daken like he’s made of glass. Laura says he cut the Death Seed out of himself. We have to hope that means he has control of his temper.”

“Daken isn’t going to be an issue. Let’s all be honest, we don’t know what it is running around Japan.” Laura sighed and shook her head. “That is why we’re going, why we’re taking Daken, and why there isn’t time. We have to figure this out before anyone else gets in the way.”

“Did someone just say that I will _not_ be an issue?” Daken had followed the scent of his sister to what looked like a living room. “I feel deeply insulted. How dare you, dear sister?” His eyes briefly laid on the blonde with the unsettling familiar scent but Daken focused on the important things first.

Quentin arched a brow and gave Daken a once over. _So that’s him in the flesh. Looks less like a violent psychopath than both Evan and Logan imagined in their heads._ That did not mean he wasn’t what they thought him to be and under normal circumstances, Quentin would have told Bobby this was insane but … _The Devil you know is better than the Devil you don’t._ Now that was a theme song right there. At least they knew that Daken was potentially dangerous. They had no idea what the person on that news feed was.

“Daken.” Laura had underestimated how good it would be to see him. She hated herself a little for not having Gabby with her but they weren’t taking her to Japan so it had seemed cruel to have her at this meeting. 

“Joking aside we have business to take care of.” With a casual nod Bobby inicaded Jimmy, “The stuff in front of our faces first. You’re brothers from another mother, and reality. Jimmy Hudson meet Daken.”

Turning towards the young blonde he arched a brow and then cocked his head, “Yeah, you are _definitely_ Logan’s son.” The similarity was almost unsettling and if it weren’t for the difference in scent, Daken would have questioned whether or not he was a clone.

“And you are definitely as pleasant as they say.” Jimmy said it and immediately regretted giving into the habit of answering sarcasm with sarcasm. Laura had told him to be _nice_.

“Well you aren’t wrong about that.” Looking back at Drake he paused briefly. The memory of rage and want, and that stupid not-kiss were still at the surface of his thoughts. This was not exactly Daken’s idea of a good day – having to meet his little brother and see Drake at once. “I heard I didn’t succeed in my pathetic little attempt to kill your lover. I’d say sorry but no one would believe me anyway.”

_So you are always the king of charming. If you weren’t stupidly attractive you’d never get anywhere would you? It’s those eyes that open doors for you isn’t it? The shape of your jaw. It’s upsetting._ “Judah is alive. He wouldn’t believe you so don’t bother sending a card. As to my own opinions, I’ll let your actions from here on out speak for you.”

“Should we leave you two to make out and get over it?” Quentin gave them both a mildly amused look when they turned towards him. “What? Don’t lie. You two look about ready to either kiss or kill each other so just saying that killing would be the messier choice.”

“Quire, now is not the time.” The look in her sharp green eyes could have frozen alcohol in under a second flat.

_I don’t look at him like that. You are being a horrible troll Quire, I am not amused._ There was a chance the thought would be picked up, and that was what he wanted Quire to take away from this, that no one found the idea of Daken and himself hooking up anything but offensive. 

Daken just decided to pretend no one had said anything. Turning towards Laura he arched a brow, “So, why am I here again? I did not skip sleep and spend twenty hours flying business class for nothing, yes? I better not. In the morning I could have booked a flight first class!”

It put a smile on her face, but it was a short lived thing. Laura walked over to the side table where the remote was and both turned the TV on and brought up the news clip. It was good quality footage, a legitimate news outlet in Japan, the running banner at the bottom declared the station and location; Okinawa. The serious looking man speaking to the camera was the scene’s focus, but it was not why they were playing it. The report about a disturbance, the disruption of the damage, it was all secondary, the point was the figure moving in the background. “There did you see it?” Laura hit rewind and then play, “Running away, do you see?”

That was _impossible._ For a moment the world seemed to stand still and then he was reaching for the remote to play it again, Daken hit pause at the right moment and just stared. _There_. In the background of the scene was a man. Dark hair, about five foot four, muscular. Daken played it again. The mannerism, the way of movement – it was unmistakably familiar in a disconcerting way. And that glint of light looked like sunlight shining off of metal. He pushed play again and then had to accept that this was real and there was no arguing with the facts.

_ < I buried him there. > _Daken swallowed and looked at his sister. He had promised her he’d take her to the grave site eventually but he had not told her where it was. The risk of people knowing was too great. There had always been, and there always would be, people who wanted to play God using their genes. Had someone dared to …

Daken pulled his phone from the pocket of his coat and ignored the audience as he dialed. It rang twice before Itsuki answered with a sleepy sounding voice. Right, it was late in Okinawa.

_ < Check on the grave. No, I don’t care that it’s late and that you did three hours ago. Do your job, I pay you for this and I need to know that no one has touched the remains. > _

Bobby interjected, “Uh… I don’t know enough Japanese to -”

“He’s checking on Logan’s grave.” Laura gave Drake a harsh look which silenced him and everyone else. 

There was a short pause and then Itsuki confirmed that everything was where it should be and that nothing had been disturbed in any way. Daken gritted his teeth in frustration. If that wasn’t it then what the hell was going on? _ < Send me a picture and make sure to be extra careful. > _A moment after hung up the picture reached his number and Daken stared at it for a moment before sighing. It was indeed just as it should be.

“It’s not a clone. That much we can be sure of.”

“So that leaves us with the possibility that it is actually him.” Bobby ran a hand over his face and looked at Jimmy. “Or a different version of him. The universe seems to like spitting people out these days.” He sighed, “You’re ready to go Laura?”

“Yes.” She nodded and looked at her brother, “This is why I called you, I want you to come with us.”

Daken looked up from his phone and arched a brow as he glanced at the little _‘team’_. “You’re kidding right? Iceboy, some snarky brat of a telepath and our little brother? Laura, we could do this on our own.”

“We can fight whatever that is on our own, but with backup and an omega level mutant we can capture it.” Laura looked between Drake and her brother, the two of them did look like they might want to hit each other. It reminded her a little of the way Logan and Summers would look at each other from time to time. 

_All that posturing but this really does have you spooked doesn’t it?_ Bobby had tried to stay out of it, to let Laura handle her brother. It was clear he was throwing up walls in every direction, the fact that he’d called Jimmy ‘little brother’ and the tone in his voice speaking Japanese, that said there was a way in, a route of attack. _What would you do Jean?_ Bobby stepped close to Laura and Daken and met the man’s gaze head on. “Logan was an Xman, you are his son. We want to bring you in on this. You’re rich but last time I checked you didn’t have transportation faster than our Blackbird.”

They were at it again. Quentin rolled his eyes but decided to keep his mouth shut this time. These two didn’t even seem to notice how they kept looking at each other. It would be amusing if it weren’t for the fact that perhaps Logan was running around Japan. Quentin did not like the possibility of that. Not one bit. He had made peace with that death and had actually come to be grateful because with Logan gone at least the part where he would go mad trying to live up to the man’s expectations could not come true. _The future is set in stone. People keep telling me different but they are all fools._

Daken crossed his arms and gave Drake a look that spoke of how little he liked this idea even as he said, “Fine. Let’s get to it then. If this _is_ my Father, any minute that passes is a minute too long. Asshole was always good at disappearing from everyone’s life without a care in the world.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Summary:** Bobby finds himself handling a trio of Sniktlings and one annoying telepath. Not the ideal first mission as a team leader but whoever that figure in the news feed was doesn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Filicide, Alcohol, Canon-typical Violence
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

The site of the incident had been guarded by police during the day and that could have made things difficult but when they arrived in Japan, it was nearing midnight. Fewer guards, fewer problems. The darkness added cover and they also had a telepath. A recovering fledgling and bratty one sure but still a telepath.

“That scent …” His voice was barely a whisper as leaned down to touch the ground where the figure on the footage had briefly paused before walking away. The scent was unsettling. It was Logan. There was no denying that. _How? Why? You were supposed to stay dead. I am just learning to live my life, I don’t need you back to complicate it._

“Not just scent.” Jimmy gestured at the broken door of the bar and popped his claws, holding them to the marks left on the wood. “That’s pretty obvious.”

Being in close proximity to Daken over the course of the flight had proven one thing to Bobby. The Death Seed was gone. Laura said he’d cut it out, which seemed improbable and far too metal for most mortals. It also meant that there was a Death Seed floating around. That was a frightening prospect in and of itself. The last thing Bobby ever wanted was to have that _thing_ inside him and it had _wanted_ him, that was horrifyingly clear to him now. He looked to Quire and arched a brow, “Are you picking anything up?”

“Looking for the people who own the bar. Lots of minds to scan through and just for the record; I _didn’t_ need to know that this one guy wants to fuck a corpse really bad.” Quentin made a face and just kept at his job. Sometimes being a telepath was disturbing.

At that Daken glanced over briefly but decided to pretend he did not hear it. Some people were just – there weren’t words for that. Stepping closer to Jimmy he looked at the door and nodded, “So the three claws got passed down to you.”

“Yeah.” Jimmy nodded and wondered at the way Daken was looking at him. It was unsettling but only for how intense a look was.

“And they are metal. Must have been quite the experience.”

“Ah, yeah Laura told me how that’s done here and I don’t know if my Logan went through that but I didn’t. The metal is just a part of my mutation. I can choose to coat my bones in it.”

There was a short pause and then Daken arched a brow, “Interesting. Try not get yourself captured because I am sure some creepy scientist would come in their pants over that.”

“Sorry to interrupt the brotherly bonding time but I found someone who saw _him_.” Everyone turned to look and Quire just shrugged, “Okay I don’t know if it’s _him_ but whoever that was most definitely looked like our Logan. Minus the scar he had from Sabretooth towards the end. Guess we can assume the healing factor is back _if_ that is our Logan.”

When Quire touched her mind Laura stopped checking for prints, scents, and clues in the bushes to come back to them and hear the new. It gave her no comfort. There was the chance that this was a perfect clone of her father. _Would I be able to tell the difference? Would it have his memories? If it did is there any difference between the clone and the man I knew?_

Drake looked to Laura, “We need to get an idea of what direction he went in. Laura can you scan the news and local twitter?” 

“Wouldn’t I be more useful doing traditional tracking?” She arched a brow.

“Maybe but of the five of us only you and Daken are fluent in Japanese.” 

“We’ve got the tracking covered, sis.” Daken turned away from the bar and came back to rest of the group, Jimmy right behind him. “Can we talk about how, if this is our Logan, he hasn’t made contact and seems to be determined to avoid it? What if he doesn’t want to be found and what if he has very strong opinions on that which he’ll express in the form of violence?”

“I freeze him.” Bobby shrugged and met Daken’s gaze. “We need to be sure this is the real deal. We bring him home, we get sure, and then if he wants to go, he’ll go. We can’t have a Logan imposter running around. His reputation is too big and the peace we’ve found is too fragile. With Kitty and the rest of the gold team locked up we have got to take care of PR nightmares like this before they happen.”

“You’re going to kiss Logan? Thank heavens I have my phone with me. That has to go on every social media site there is …”

“I’m not going to kiss him. I can freeze people without kissing them, you know that, I did it to you at Meantime.” Bobby rolled his eyes.

“That you did and yet you decided that kissing me was the best way to handle it the second time … wonder why that would be.” Making a mockingly thoughtful sound he almost said more but then thought better of it. This was not the time or the place. “Anyway, Laura dear, anything useful? We do know he went that direction but there is no way the scent won’t get lost somewhere. The city is far too busy.”

“I’m still looking -” Her thumb pushed the feed up as she scanned the numerous local tweets. It was something she only ever looked at for missions and tracking. Social media was a waste of time in her estimation. “He’s at a bar not too far from here.”

Bobby was only too happy to have someone draw attention away from the awkward interaction between himself and Daken. “How do you know?”

“They posted a picture of him.” She held up her phone and showed them. 

Daken stared at the picture for a moment and then sighed, “If that is a clone or another version of him or whatever else it could be – it’s a very well made copy. Even comes with the alcoholism.” _That’s him. I know that’s him, there is no other option._

“This was posted fifteen minutes ago, chances are he’s still there.”

“Take point Wolverine. Quire you’re with her. Jimmy, Daken, we’ll follow, Laura and Quire go in first.” 

“Why me? I don’t want to.” Quire whined but it was pretty clear he was just doing it for the sake of doing it. All this cooperating had to be sitting wrong with him. He wasn’t supposed to listen to people.

* * *

It wasn’t a very pretty place. It seemed that Logan was trying to keep his head down. _It, not Logan, you don’t know that yet, you can’t know._ Laura walked into the bar without any effort to hide herself. She wasn’t dressed as a civilian and while her suit was mostly black with yellow accents and with the hood off could pass for riding gear, it wasn’t stealthy. She knew Quire was right behind her, and she assumed that the others were fanning out around the building. _[I have visual confirmation, I’m going in.]_

Quentin kept the communication between them going with ease. That wasn’t much of challenge now but the noise in the bar was still annoying. Drunk people thought loudly but not clearly. Blending that out Quentin glanced around and then saw him too. In the corner of the bar, sitting away from the other people and nursing a beer. That seemed very much in keeping with being Logan. Their Logan.

When he looked up and spotted her there was no doubt. It was Logan. Only one other person in the whole world had ever looked at her like that. Her mother was dead, and she’d thought that meant this was gone and over, but here he was, her father. Laura sat down across from him and arched a brow. “Why are you here?”

“You were never much with the greetings.” The bottle came up again. 

_[Does he look ready to run Quire? We’re in position.]_ Drake’s thought came with a hint of anxiety. 

_[No. I think he’ll talk.]_ Settling down as well Quentin crossed his arms and gave Logan a once over. What an odd situation. The last time they had seen each other Quentin had been anything but friendly. The whole mess with his future self and then taking a position with the Hellfire Club, just to fuck with Logan. “Hi, Logan. You look better than last time I saw you. There, a greeting.”

“Shrimp.” The bottle came up. “Damn, empty.” It was set at the edge of the table.

“Dad.” The word tasted dangerous on her tongue, love and hope and desperate need. He looked at her, right at her, and _saw_ her. “Why are you hiding?”

“I did a lot o’ bad things to good people Laura, you know that. People I love. Ororo’s better off without me, so are you.” His gaze moved to Quire, “Looks like the shrimp is better off without me too. I woke up in some shrine here and figured the best gift I could give all o’ you was to stay dead.”

“Well that’s just a load of bullshit.” Quentin narrowed his eyes, “You fucked up, you hurt people. And now you think that the right way to handle that is to pretend you’re dead? Not maybe make it up to them? Just saying that’s an option.”

“Is it Shrimp? Everything I touch turns to shit. Figured maybe this time I could try not touchin’, start there.”

“We want you to come home. There’s been … there are people we want you to meet, and things that have changed.” Laura reached out and took one of Logan’s hands, “Please.”

“You don’t get to take the easy way out like that. There are people who need you, Logan. You are back and that stuff always happens for a reason.”

He squeezed Laura’s hand and looked between them. “Always comes with a price too. I don’t want any o’ you to end up payin’ it.” Logan looked around the bar and then back to the pair of them, “I knew that fight with the Hand would cost me.” He stroked her hand and sighed, “The black and yellow looks good on you.”

 _[I don’t think he’s going to run, but keep on the lookout he just mentioned the Hand. I want Daken in here.]_ “Thanks, I think it suits me.”

_[Are you sure that’s a good idea Laura?]_

_[Laura’s right. We need some backup here and I think the only thing that’s going to convince Logan is hearing Daken say he has to come back.]_ Quire added. 

_[Can I take a raincheck on that? No? You are cruel. All of you. Fine.]_ With an annoyed sigh Daken approached the bar, opened the door and entered. The stench of smoke, alcohol and arousal almost made him leave again. This type of place was not one he enjoyed at all. However he didn’t have much choice here. They couldn’t have Logan running around and stirring up trouble.

On his way past the bar he grabbed a beer and a glass of whiskey before approaching the three of them in the corner of the establishment. “Hello Father.” Putting the beer down he settled lazily next to Laura and sipped from his glass. “Your taste in bars leaves something to be desired.”

The reaction was visceral. The cords in Logan’s neck stood out, and his expression changed entirely. Those who knew him best would know this was the same face he made when he looked in the mirror after having done something horrible. Logan reached out for the bottle and knocked back half of it. “This the company you keep now Laura?”

“You were dead, Daken was all I had and he -” Laura turned to look at him, the fondness she felt for her brother written clearly on her features, Logan’s face made miniature and petite, “- Daken has been a good friend, the best brother I could possibly ask for.”

“Turns out that given the chance I am not quite as hopeless as you thought, _Daddy.”_ Daken smiled sweetly.

His first instinct was to snarl but he watched as Laura leaned against Daken, as their gazes met. He saw her wordlessly admonish him, and watched as Daken looked honestly apologetic. All the scents lined up. He wasn’t trying to manipulate her, and she honestly loved him. Logan blinked rapidly and frowned. “You shaped up?”

Daken looked back at his Father and there was a short pause before he said, “I will always be what I am. But I would die to protect Laura.” _And Gabby. And perhaps that blonde kid too. Possibly._

In all his meetings with his son Logan had never seen this. He had never seen that honest devotion to anything but revenge. It was clear that Laura felt, that she believed in what Daken was saying. All he could feel was the lifeless and limp body in his arms. The mud on Daken’s face, the bloodless complection … 

“Shit.” Logan scrubbed a hand over his face and sighed.

_[We should leave. I know all three of you want your reunion but this is Logan. This is all the emotion you’re getting out of him in public. It’s time to get back to the Blackbird and make like a tree.]_

“Now, time to go home old man. Before the Hand shows up and I have to ruin my expensive outfit with blood. Whenever you are here in Japan, you will inevitably attract the Hand.”

“That was the plan.” Logan sighed and then stood up. “Who’s runnin’ things these days? Summers?”

Laura closed her eyes, “We’ll talk on the way home.” Unwilling to leave anything to chance she took Logan’s hand as quickly as she could and leaned on him as they walked. Physical affection didn’t come naturally but she knew the effectiveness of this, and she wanted to be close. “We have someone for you to meet, and a lot to tell you.”

Quire let out a relieved sighed, dropped some extra money on the table and then followed the others. _[We are coming out now. Logan’s oddly cooperative, guess dying changes perspective or something like that.]_

Jimmy turned his head to look at Drake after the telepathic message, “They’re coming out? Good because we’ve got company.” The sound of footsteps, barely even there, had alerted him. His fists clenched and the space between his knuckles itched in anticipation. There weren’t any scents to pick up though, nor any solid forms in view, but he was still confident that they were basically surrounded.

 _[Hurry up you guys or you’ll miss the action.]_ Bobby turned and caught sight of something, motion from the corner of his vision. Jimmy was right, and now he was congratulating himself on his choice to hold him back. Bobby wouldn’t have noticed these shadow cretins till they were on top of him without the warning. He iced over completely and waved at the one he could see, “Oh hai there, why don’t you guys come out to play -”

Four figures dressed in an inky red stepped into the flickering light of the alley way carrying the shadows with them, “Well frost all the way off.” _[Remember guys, low profile, try not to destroy everything.]_ “So …” He braced for impact with the group in front of him, “You come here often?”

The sounds and smells of the battle hit them before they came into view. As they rounded the corner Daken sighed heavily at the sight of Drake and Jimmy already engaged in a fight with the Hand. The way the blonde kid moved was interesting. More fluid than he had ever seen from Logan but not with the same grace as Laura either.He watched as Jimmy ducked under a closeline, leading with his shoulder. The momentum carried him directly into a second ninja, shoulder meeting with the figure’s solar plexus in dull thud followed by the smack of back against ground. Jimmy’s fighting style was somewhere between street tough and commando. Clearly the kid knew how to fight and he had more brute strength on his side than Daken did but not at the total cost of flexibility and speed. It made Daken itch to test himself against Jimmy but now was not the time.

“Once, just once, I want to be wrong about something.” Daken rolled his eyes as he took off his coat and started to roll up his sleeves. He had predicted that they would end up fighting the Hand.

Through the magic of Quire’s telepathy Bobby knew that the others were joining them. Which was nice because undead ninjas, as cool as they were in theory, were not actually much fun. Bobby had six of them on him, which was annoying but easy enough to deal with if he had just a little room to move. Dodging three sword blows from three different directions at once was a little more than he wanted to deal with in a random alleyway. Once Laura and Logan joined the fray Bobby found his space. The craggy blunted outcroppings that decorated his shoulders turned to spikes and shot through the bodies of three stabby attackers. They crumbled to dust. “So satisfying!”

He turned to see Daken approaching. _I’ve never seen him fight without being the one he was fighting._ There was no time to ponder on that though, the ninjas he’d dealt with were soon replaced. It would be a feat in and of itself if he managed to catch a few glimpses of Daken’s performance.

“Like rats, just gonna keep comin’.” Logan shouted. 

“Because you -” Daken stabbed the next one right through the skull and then spun to block another one’s sword, “You can’t just stay the hell away from Japan! I _really_ should have buried you somewhere else.”

“The Hand does have a thing for you Logan.” Bobby threw two of the ninja’s to Jimmy and smiled as they were both impaled. The kid was good, and he was good in a team. 

“S’not my fault.”

There was a sound behind him. Bobby turned and saw Laura standing over a disintegrating ninja. Her foot claw had impaled it through the head. “Oh thanks!”

His sister had been there quicker than he and Daken was thankful for it. The last thing he needed was to get a reputation for saving people’s ass. A roundhouse kick put one ninja down and carried him close to a second which he punched in the face claws first. _What was that move Drake? A spinning axel jump with lateral rotation?_ This was one of many reasons why he didn’t fight alongside others. It was messy and then there was the fact that other people got in the way, distracted him and made him worry about their safety. Someone dusted a ninja behind him as he lashed out side to side, striking and killing three ninjas in half as many heartbeats. All of that was entirely annoying. Not to mention that the iced up asshole was so damned flashy and attention drawing that Daken kept catching himself glancing at him. _Come on, focus. Drake’s not the center of the universe and you are not an amateur. No sleep doesn’t excuse letting yourself be distracted, Daken._

There did seem to be an endless stream of them and Bobby was starting to wonder why. Why send this many little soldiers but not something that could actually deal with them. He caught Quire’s eye but there was nothing the telepath could do for them. His powers were still recovering, which meant he had ducked out of the way and was protecting himself by being mostly unnoticeable. 

_Why? What is the plan here?_ Bobby turned when he saw Quire’s eyes get big. Logan, Laura, and Jimmy were fine, fighting in a tightish knot, wrecking everything that came near them. Daken was off to the side a bit, picking off the odd ninja and keeping the other three from getting overwhelmed. It seemed like Logan was their target. There did always seem to be several ninja’s focusing on Daken though. None of them lasted long. Daken was efficient, brutal, and beautiful. Bobby watched with gaping mouth as Daken went from standing to airborne, kick stepping up the body of one ninja, dusting him only to turn and take his falling momentum into a crowd of three others. It was like something out of an old kung-fu movie. Suddenly the ninja’s drew back from Daken and Bobby had to take a few out quickly as he continued to look around, trying to find a reason to this madness and the sudden space around Daken. That was when he saw it, the new weird frankenstein looking ninja stood up from behind a dumpster further down the alleyway. It raced forward, right towards Daken, seemingly unaware of Logan.

“Daken get down!” Bobby called out as he saw the thing ready it’s giant halberd style weapon to take a swing. As Daken looked at him Bobby whipped his arm across his body, throwing out a half dozen ice javelins. 

For one endless seeming second Daken stared at Drake. The blue tinted ice seemed to glow from the way the moonlight reflected on it and there was something about the form Drake had picked which kept catching his attention. Sharp and angular, spikey even and yet every movement seemed smooth and effortless. The second passed and Daken tore his eyes away to follow Drake’s attack up with claws through the skull which made even this one just crumble to dust.

“Haven’t seen one o’ those before.” Logan looked between his son and Drake as he put his fist through the last ninja’s head. His expression was curious but not entirely committed to interest. Turning he looked towards Quire, “Hey kid, it’s safe.” He pointed around, “Everything’s dust or runnin’.”

 _What was that about? Throw a hundred baby ninjas and a daddy ninja at us and then just run off?_ Bobby didn’t switch back. He wasn’t sure the fight was really over and he couldn’t afford to be wrong. “We need to get a move on. Maybe the Hand just wanted to tickle us, but I’ve got a feeling that isn’t how they play. Also I’m not in the mood to run into any Cyber Samurai … which is a real possibility now that people actually know I’m here.”

“What are Cyber -” Jimmy paused and then shook his head, “No, I don’t even want to know. Let’s just get the hell out of here.”

“Agreed.” Quentin looked rather pissed as he passed back the coat to Daken. This being benched as just a Telepath thing was annoying as hell. He wanted his telekinesis back in shape already.

* * *

Logan looked from Daken to Jimmy with a scowl. Someone might not think that Daken was his at first glance. The half Japanese pretty boy with a face eager to scowl was too tall and athletic looking to make anyone think ‘Wolverine’s son’. Daken looked a great deal more like Itsu than he did Logan himself. It was always odd to see his features next to hers, to see the child they had made together in their love, and see him full of so much bitterness that it oozed from his every action and posture. Jimmy was different. He was blonde and a little taller than himself, and that was where the differences ended. Jimmy looked just like him, a spitting image. Logan shifted as the bay door closed and Drake got the Blackbird into the air. 

“So you’re mine from another reality?” He looked over at Laura, “That’s what you said.”

“That is the information we have.” She nodded and looked to Daken, worried about how he would take all of this now that the action and anticipation were over. 

“Memory loss, don’t remember anything. Not even my own name but apparently I met Laura, Jeanie and the others, in my own reality and they remembered my name and the fact that I am indeed another Wolverine’s son.” Jimmy shrugged, “I’d say that is easy to tell just by looking though.”

“Too easy.” His frown deepened. “There’s none o’ your mother in you unless she’s a blond.” Logan cocked his head side to side. 

“Don’t know. Only thing they could tell me was that I mentioned growing up with adoptive parents because the Wolverine in my world didn’t have _time_ for a kid.”

Daken could not help the soft chuckle that followed these words and he shrugged when people glanced at him for it, “Same thing everywhere. Funny how that works …”

“I had time for you Daken.” Logan turned and stared him down, “I meant to marry Itsu and settle down.” He almost kept talking but instead threw up his hands, “I won’t waste my breath. Chances are you still believe the poison you were fed.” He turned back to Jimmy, “No idea what you expect or want from me kid. I’ve been back for about forty-eight hours.” Logan walked over and took a seat, intending to end all the conversations even if Laura was giving him doe eyes. 

“I’ve got no expectations.” Jimmy shrugged and went to settle down as well, “I came along out of pure curiosity and because Laura asked.”

Daken bit back any further comment and just silently followed Drake into the cockpit. Any more staring at Logan and he might decide to stab him after all. “Hey Snowflake.” Settling down in the second chair he glanced over and asked, “Mind dropping me off in Los Angeles?”

It wouldn’t have been a hard thing to do, and it was likely what he should have done but Bobby had grown fond of Gabby very quickly. He knew that she had certain expectations about this homecoming. He looked over at Daken and arched a brow, “You wanna miss the party Gabby’s got planned?”

“She what?” Daken frowned and then sighed. Of course Gabby wanted to make a big deal out of this. She was a child and no matter how Laura and Remy tried to be there for her, she was missing real parents. Logan was technically as close as she would ever get. “Fuck. Ah well, who needs sleep and food anyway …”

“They’ll be food at the party and sleep afterwards.” Bobby looked Daken over, “You can have the cockpit, sleep in the chair. It’s on autopilot now so I can clear out to give you some space.” _Judah, why did you have to make me realize that I think he’s good looking? He’s so pretty it sort of makes me mad. Why are his lips like that? Who signed off on giving him those eyes? It’s really upsetting how perfect his nose is. Daken is a giant bag of frosted jerk flakes, why is he so pretty?_

“There better be alcohol as well.” Daken sighed and then got back up, wondering why he had even bothered to settle down in the first place. Exhaustion probably. Turning around he almost left but then remembered, “You know … I _am_ sorry for what I did.” With that he left the cockpit area.

 _What the actual hell just happened?_ Bobby started after Daken and tried to wrap his mind around the fact that he’d gotten an actual apology out of the son of Wolverine. _Am I in the Twilight Zone? Did hell freeze over?_


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan Howlett, aka Wolverine, is alive. The majority of people are delighted to have their favorite grumpy Canadian back but Daken is not so sure about this particular turn of events. Instead of giving into the sudden urge to murder every single party guest though, he decides that it is way past time for him to have a little chat with his Daddy. Logan will be wishing there had been murder instead of talking because that would have been less painful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Filicide, Implied/Referenced Child Trafficking, Implied/Referenced Prostitution, PTSD, Trauma, Triggers, Self-Harm, Emotional Breakdown
> 
> **Important!** There are several references to "Bleed the life from me" in this particular chapter. One of them includes a kiss which happened between a feverish, hallucinating Daken and Logan. There was _no_ actual incest but mentioning this is important to me.
> 
> **Referenced "[Bleed the life from me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410027/chapters/30724617)" Chapters:** 04, 08 and 21.
> 
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Sleep would not come. Daken had tried to find some rest on the plane but the presence of Logan’s scent had kept him on edge. Not even settling with his head in Laura’s lap had brought peace. This was going to bite him in the ass, no doubt about it. If he could have predicted being called to come back to the United States Daken would have been more mindful of making sure to sleep. If he had known they were bound for Japan he would have demanded everyone come to him in Madripoor. He was not a clairvoyant though and that meant he had to live with the messy consequences of his own actions and choices.

Following the rest of the ‘team’ out of the plane, he wondered what would come now. Was he going to stay at the school or find a nice hotel? The only reason he was even debating this was because Laura and Gabby were here at the school.

They came up through the bowels of the school and Laura forced herself to stay quiet. She knew that their Logan didn’t like being made much of but this was for Gabby. It had kept her sister busy while they were all away, and it would help her deal with the change in their family, allowing her to have some control over how things happened. _The last time I brought her a parent she had to watch her brother kill them. Clones, funerals, that’s all Gabby gets. Not today. Not this time._

The banner hanging over the hallway was clearly handmade. The colors were bright, electric even. The crowd of people in the big recreation room was smiling. Gabby stood in front of them ready to burst with excitement. Everyone tried to say the phrase on the banner at once, but it was a huge mouthful and unwieldy. In the end it was only Gabby who made it, “Welcome home clone father original Wolverine!”

Logan stared at his friends and noticed the missing faces. He wasn’t sure what he had expected, but not seeing Ororo, Kurt, and Kitty hurt. He refused to think of the other, the martyr. Standing in front of him was his family, and a short dark haired girl with Laura’s eyes. They looked very much alike save for the fact that this girl’s smile was freely given. It changed her face and made her almost impossibly cheerful. “You’re Gabby?”

“Yeah! I’m your daughter, I suppose Laura could have called me her daughter and then you’d be my grandfather but we already call the old you grandpa, and really she feels like a big sister. That makes you my clone father which is pretty cool. Also we have a lot of catching up to do. We’re going to start with hugs.” Gabby flung herself at the blinking man and was pleased that he caught her without any sort of hesitation. “I’ll introduce you to everyone in case you don’t know them, and if you do don’t worry I’ll tell you what I think of them so there’s still something to learn and look forward to!”

Gabby was happy. Daken couldn’t deny that it was cute and made him smile to see her like this. The why was a bit of a problem though. A part of him was worried he might lose the connection he had built with his sisters. There was no amount of telling himself that it was bullshit which would make the pit in his stomach go away. If it happened, at least he had the memories of a couple of good years. That was more than he was used to having.

As Gabby and Laura were making the rounds with Logan, Remy took the opportunity to get a moment alone with Daken. “I like what you done to your hair mon frere. The crimps are pretty.”

“It was braided, Laura undid the braids while I tried and failed to sleep.” Glancing at Remy he shrugged and then said, “So, he _is_ back after all. Guess I should have seen that coming.”

“Jean’s still dead.” Remy sighed, “Plenty of us still depowered or dead. It’s hard to tell when and if somethin’ like this happens.” Though it was hard to take his eyes away from his friend Remy did, and he fixed his gaze on Daken. “I made you a promise, we’re family and I’ll stand by you. Logan gives you heat I’ll call him on it. You need me, all you gotta do is call.”

“I know.” A small smile settled on his lips and he looked over at Logan. “I think we’ll manage to avoid murdering each other and that’s as good as it’s going to get.”

“Don’t know how many times that Canuck has come back. He’d better _do_ somethin’ with this one, focus on bein’ a father.” He handed Daken a flute of champagne and then let himself be drawn away. He could tell that there was company Daken wanted to keep and he wasn’t part of it. 

* * *

The noise and sound continued, and it reached all the way up stairs. Anyone left in the school that knew Logan was down at that party, except for Bobby. He was rushing back down the hall and taking the stairs two at a time because he’d _had_ to change. With all the changes he’d made going to a party in uniform simply wasn’t an option. Bobby wanted people to _see_ the new him. The guy who could lead a team and be honest with himself about what he wanted. That was why he was wearing the not so subtle rainbow themed plaid shirt unbuttoned a third of the way over what he had only realized were _women’s_ skinny jeans after he bought them. His shoes were blue keds with freaking kittens on them which was really one of the best things in the entire world. Quire would have told him to accessorize but Bobby was rushing. 

“Hey Hank! Are those new glasses?” 

“No, but everything you are wearing is new if I am not mistaken.” 

Bobby smiled, “What can I say? It was time for a change.”

“It was indeed.” After another once over Hank found himself chuckling. “There are kittens frolicking on your shoes.”

“Yes there are.”

“Bobby my dear, dear friend, I believe that you are, as they say, living your best life.” 

“Were you truly hiding this flair for color and kittens all this time?”

“Yeah, I was.” Bobby smiled and patted his friend on the shoulder. “I sort of feel like I’m coming out a second time. I told everyone I was gay but I didn’t … I didn’t change anything. After everything with Zach I realized I needed help, and I needed to just let go and be myself.”

“It suits you Bobby.” Hank returned the friendly contact, “I think Scott would be proud of you. No I will not open that argument again here and now, I just thought you should hear it.”

“Thanks Hank.” The grin was a bit melancholy but Bobby was in too good a mood and too large a group to truly brood. In fact as Hank’s words settled in it actually felt _good_. “I’m gonna try to catch Logan, I wanna tell him … well everything.”

Daken had to admit that Bobby's choice of clothing was a statement worthy of being called one. It was amusing to watch from the sidelines and observe these people interacting. Drake seemed to be coming into his own and while Daken did not care much for the guy, he could appreciate someone figuring themselves out. Especially if that included becoming less heterosexual and boring. 

* * *

Ridiculous. Daken had withdrawn from the center of the activity and found himself a quiet spot. He was leaning lazily against the wall and just letting it all pass him by. The laughter, the idle chatter, the welcome home hugs. It was like watching some old movie someone had decided to redo in color. There was cake, singing, stupid jokes, alcohol and more hugs. And with each passing moment Daken felt more sick and tired of this **fake** _harmonious and beautifully ideal world_ bullshit. Everyone was smiling and happy and he wanted to pop his claws and make sure not a single one of the liars would ever smile again. That would have been one of the most satisfying moments in his life.

Of course, as always, it didn’t happen. Couldn’t happen. Daken was no fool, he knew what would come from trying. A room full of X-Men to fight – he didn’t stand a chance. And there was Laura, and Gabby. And yeah, the blonde kid. But _oh_ the thought of it was so sweet. The look on Logan’s face alone would be worth it. That disappointment, shock and anger. The only three emotions he had ever truly seen from his ‘Father’.

Pushing away from the wall he went for one of the beers and then made a choice. Approaching Logan he interrupted the conversation with Drake smoothly and without a care in the world, < _"We need to talk. Now." >_

“Okay angry face.” Bobby rolled his eyes. Both of them looked at him and he did it again but the expression was even more over the top now. “I don’t have to speak Japanese to read tone and body language. Go on Logan, I can finish filling you in later.”

“You’re gonna have to cause this whole friend of Dorothy look you’ve got goin’ on is, well it’s better than the other thing.” Logan shrugged and then looked at his son expectantly, “Let’s find an empty room.”

Any other time, Daken would have made a comment about the remark on Drake’s pleasantly forward choice of style but that wasn’t on his mind right then. Daken simply turned and left the room. It did not take long to find an empty room and the first they came across turned out to be a classroom. It would do. It had to. They had done everything over the years except this – talk. Actually talk. No lies. No games. At least he was going to try to avoid resorting to that sort of thing. Daken loathed the idea of it but he was tired. He had been tired for a long, long time now.

“I was in Madripoor.” Daken turned to look at Logan, “Before this trip to Japan. Had a little talk with a friend of yours.”

“Anyone in Madripoor is more than a friend.” Logan shifted, eyes narrowed. Despite the party, the beers, and the food he was on edge. People didn’t just come back from the dead spontaneously. Something or someone had done this and they didn’t know who or why. No amount of adorable tween surprise clone daughters would make him forget that. “I’ve heard about you and Madripoor. You’ve got a fancy lifestyle and you’re not real concerned where the money comes from.”

Daken had known, he had told himself – he had talked himself through the fact that Logan would of course believe it. And yet nothing this man had ever done to him had hurt more than this. Nothing. The sudden, overwhelming, desire to run took him so hard that Daken needed to grab for the back of a chair to steady himself. _Look at you. That expression. That face. You look just like him and yet nothing like him at the same time. Oh, this is – unbelievable._

His voice dropped lower, taking on a sharp edge, “Gabby’s about thirteen now …” Making a thoughtful sound Daken let go of the chair and leaned back against the wall. “She’s pretty. Clever and mouthy too. They like that, it’s more fun to break the ones that take time and dedication.” Back to the games on the second sentence he said. Daken would have laughed if he didn’t feel sick and disgusted by Logan, by himself, by all the people who thought touching innocent children was okay.

Logan closed his eyes and flexed his hands. He was still wearing the jeans, shirt, and boots he’d scrounge up in Japan. His skin crawled with the need to _do_ something, to _break_ something. When he opened his eyes the expression in them was cold, “Do not play games with me boy. Make your excuses, or tell me whatever in hell you want to tell me but don’t you dare try to play games with me again.”

The laugh that broke, unbidden, from his lips was sharp and bitter. Daken felt almost irrational with anger and frustration. After all these years, it still hadn’t clicked. How could any human being be this self absorbed? Daken was not one to believe in the good of humanity but this still made no sense to him. Even _he_ had more empathy and understanding than this.

“I was twelve.” The laughter died down as quick and sharp as it had come and then Daken was looking at Logan with a blank expression. “I didn’t know what was happening. I had no words for it. Not that it mattered because I didn’t have anyone to tell either. He was all I had. And he shoved me over that kitchen table and tore into me, broke me, bent me, used me as his fucking toy. I didn’t get to fight, I couldn’t even scream. It just happened and then it happened again and again, and again.”

It was impossible. Daken was twisted and broken, Logan knew that, he knew that Romulus had broken him from an early age, orchestrated his entire life in an effort to make him into the ideal tool. All to turn Logan into an even more perfect heir to his grotesque legacy. The idea that Romulus had raped Daken had never crossed his mind. He had imagined they might have been lovers, but not this, not this level of total depravity, “Son -”

Daken narrowed his eyes, “Oh no, no you are going to fucking listen for once in your life. To every word I have to say.” It hurt. Daken did _not_ want to talk about this but Logan just didn’t get it. He was blind to everything but his own pain.

“I learned, you know, I learned quickly. He’d come, he’d use me, he’d leave. It became an annoying task, like doing dishes. Then I turned fourteen and oh, oh Romulus was _delighted_ because guess what – puberty kicked in and I suddenly had to deal with the fact that it _felt good_.” There was bitter chuckle before he continued, “With fifteen I asked him to do it. I _asked_ for it. What else would I have done? It wasn’t going to stop. It never stopped. I told myself that if I make it good, if I let it happen, it’s not rape. It stopped being rape because I couldn’t handle it anymore.”

Taking a step closer he reached out, hands grabbing for Logan’s shirt. “I did things for him, oh I did _everything_ for him. Whatever he’d ask, I would do. I’d do it and he’d call me _boy_ and **make love** to me and tell me sweet, sweet lies and I _believed them_. And all of it, every second of it, was just a fucking joke. It was always about you. You. Not me. I was _nothing_ to him. I loved him, I worshiped him, I would have ripped myself apart for him - I _did_ rip myself apart and tore my own heart, my very soul out of myself just so … just so he would love me! And to him it was all just a game. I am nothing. I have always been nothing because you were it. You were what he wanted.”

Tears slid down Logan’s cheeks, drawing iridescent lines towards his chin as he looked up into the eyes of his child. _Why didn’t you check Itsu more closely? This is your fault. You loved her, you made a child, and in your shame you ran. You are a worthless piece of shit Logan. You are less than nothing._

“I kissed you.” Daken felt that old anger flare up at the sight of tears just like that first time they had looked at each other but this time he kept himself from lashing out. “I _kissed_ you and I called you _Master_ and you still _didn’t fucking get it!”_ There was no anger, disgust, or shame on Logan’s face, only pitty. Pushing away he brought distance between them again, disgusted at himself. At the thought of ever looking at his biological Father and feeling an urge to do sexual things. Even after all the abuse he had suffered, Daken was not that messed up. It had been the fever, the trauma, the loneliness. Not actual want.

“You accuse me of selling children to adults. Innocent, vulnerable _children_.” He chuckled and rubbed his hands over his face, taking several deep breaths to calm down. “Drowning me wasn’t enough huh? You had to ruin whatever sort of love I felt for you with this?” Daken forced himself to breath and then said, voice colder than ice, “I should have let them have your remains. Let them sell them and use them. I should have never put you next to mother.”

“I didn’t believe you knew.” Logan took a step forward and forced himself not to reach out. What had been done to his son was a million times worse than he had ever imagined. _You did this Logan. You did this._ “Thought you got sloppy because the money needed to come from somewhere and you didn’t ask enough questions. I didn’t think you knew.”

“I know exactly where every single dollar I have ever spent came from. I would – I _have_ sold myself when I had no other option. I’d rather cannibalize myself than ever let a child suffer like I did. No one protected me. No one helped me. No one cared. So now I do.”

“Why are you tellin’ me this son? I know that whatever chance there was -” It hurt to remember. He’d been so sure at the time, he’d been certain there was no other way. The first night, when he’d slept outside in a bush, it was the scent of his own child, terrified, and the sound of the gurgling as he held his face in the puddle, that had woken him. The first night alive and that was where his mind gone. It haunted him, it would always haunt him. “I blew it. So why are you telling me this?”

“Unfortunately, we will be seeing each other. Laura, Gabby and even Jimmy – they are _my_ family. Do you understand? They are _**mine**_. I will not allow you to take this from me. I fought for this. I bled for it. I changed for it. And you have taken everything else from me but this? I will not let you take it. I will not allow you to take my family from me. I am telling you because I refuse to let you tell my siblings a lie and drive us apart by letting them think I am some sick, twisted fuck who sells children to pedophiles.”

“Not jus’ yours Daken. They’re the only family I have. When I died it was just you and Laura. I come back and Scott Summers is -” Logan closed his eyes again and looked away. Bobby had told him on the Blackbird. Logan had managed to keep it together then. Now he was already primed for emotion and raw with anguish. “- dead. A chunk o’ the people I care about are locked up. The best thing that’s happened was seeing my kids, includin’ you, and Jubes _alive_ alive again.”

“Oh I feel so terribly sorry for you. I almost cannot speak past the tears and sobbing.” His voice was dripping with sarcasms and annoyance, “Take your self absorbed pain and shove it up your ass. I said we will see each other – because they want you. They need you. And I will never deny my siblings anything they want and need.”

“So that’s it? You want me to know this so that what Daken?” He spread his arms, “Clearly you don’t want my pity. You can’t stand to look at me, so it’s not love either. What the hell do you want from me?”

“Nothing.” Daken chuckled, “Nothing at all. I don’t want anything from you, Logan. You mean nothing to me. I mean nothing to you. This conversation is happening because I am warning you that if you get between my little sisters and me - I will burn this world down and salt the earth.”

“You know who took me aside before you?” Logan wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do or say. What he wanted to do was impossible. “The swamp rat, Remy told me I had to give you a second chance. I don’t know what you did Daken, I don’t know how you did it, but you have a chance. Despite everything that’s come before us I’m not gonna get in the way o’ that.” He took a deep breath and forced himself not to reach out, “This is what I wanted for you.” _Why did you bury me son? I saw the shrine, it’s where I woke up. You put me right next to her, you did that. What moved you to it? Did you love me or was it some form of guilt? If you still hate me, if you still blame me, why?_

“Good. Then this conversation is officially over.” Daken took a deep breath and then made his expression go neutral again. “You will not speak of what I told you. Ever. To anyone. In any way. This is my story. It is _my_ pain. You do not get to make it yours. You’ve taken enough from me. Understood?”

_Tell him._ Logan swallowed down the urge to do it. Daken said it himself, he hadn’t slept, he was raw, this was not the time. “Yes, now just tell me one more thing Daken; Do you want me to try?”

That took him aback. Daken stood there, the mask shattered again, and just stared. It seemed like an eternity passed before he could force himself to speak, “I - … give me space. I need time. I can’t – I might decide to try. But now? No. I will reach out when _I’m_ ready.”

_Tell him._ The lump in his throat wouldn’t dislodge. Logan nodded and then managed a single word, “Understood.” _You have to tell him._ Logan stood in the empty room staring at his boots after Daken had gone. “Damn coward.”

* * *

It wasn’t that she didn’t want to enjoy Logan it was that she was tired, and Gabby could entertain everyone for hours to come. Laura knew that Logan and Daken had talked and no one had come out of it bloody. Just as Logan had come back Daken had texted her wanting to know where her room was. She’d told him and then enjoyed the party as much as she could. Logan was somber now, willing to banter but somber. Clearly something of actual importance had passed between father and son, more than insults and barbs. 

The sounds were behind her, the halls were quiet. Laura took the time of transit to calm her mind and ready herself for whatever state she would find her brother in. She opened the door, and called out, “It’s me.”

Daken raised his head a little at the sound of that familiar voice but he didn’t reply. Laura would figure out where he was on her own. _I should get up, clean this mess. Pretend it didn’t happen._ For a second he actually considered it but he couldn’t convince himself to move.

His coat had been left over the back of the couch and the boots by the door where Gabby’s pink ballerinas and Laura’s own boots stood. Daken had not planned any of it but once he had been inside the bathroom, it was inevitable. Dragging up memories he had spent decades burying, it had shaken something loose. Left him with that old, familiar urge to replace emotional with physical pain. And so he had. The bathroom looked like someone had been murdered but no, it was just him against the healing factor. Nothing new. Nothing of concern.

As soon as the copper tang hit her Laura rushed forward. What she found in the bathroom hurt her heart and stung her eyes. Daken looked pale and small on the tiled floor. “Daken.” Laura went to her knees, still in her uniform, uncaring of the blood. She reached out for him and drew him into her arms. 

Daken did not resist the contact but he didn’t return the hug either. The realization that he had done this where _Gabby_ could have seen it had hit him as Laura entered the bathroom. Breathing out heavily he licked his lips and then whispered, “’m sorry.”

“I should have come sooner. You sit.” Laura kissed his brow and then stood up. “Gabby is still with Logan and Remy. Bobby is amusing her with ice pixies. She won’t be coming any time soon.” With that having been said she pulled the bleach out from under the sink and then got the water running. 

“I … I need to go.” Daken started to get up, feeling shaky from blood loss and the lack of sleep but managing more or less. “Should have known. Told you dragging up all this crap would've consequences.”

“Sit your ass down you frustrating man.” The sink was full and the smell of bleach was thick in the room. “I cannot clean this up and chase you at the same time. So if you do not want Gabby to see it you need to _sit down_.”

Without a word he settled back down and just quietly watched. There was no arguing with Laura when she was upset like this and Daken knew it was his fault so silence was the best option.

It took five minutes to mop up the blood. The bleach covered the copper bite. When she was done Laura got a fresh towel and clean water to start tending to Daken himself. “I am not mad at you, I’m worried.”

“About what, sis? I can’t die. Even when I do, I’ll just come back. I don’t get to leave this hell hole.”

“I care about your emotional state.” She continued to clean his arms and hands. The motions were gentle and tender. “Daken, this doesn’t help, not really.” 

“But it does.” Daken chuckled softly and leaned back against the wall heavily, “Maybe not in the long run but I’m not expecting that. This is temporary relief. I don’t indulge in the other options anymore.”

“Don’t you feel better in the long run when we hug for a while and talk?” Laura put a hand on his shoulder, the blood was mostly gone now, “Sometimes I still want to hurt myself, sometimes everything moves so fast and I just want all the feelings to stop, I want to just stop. The cutting doesn’t make anything better, it doesn’t make it stop. It feeds into this idea that I deserve to hurt, that pain is the only answer. It isn’t Daken. We don’t deserve this.”

Daken sighed and reached up, stroking her cheek. He knew Laura did it sometimes because he had walked in on it, thinking she had been attacked and injured. “This isn’t about _deserving_ it, Laura. It’s about need.”

“I need you. Logan is alive, I love him, but he isn’t my brother.” Laura wrapped her arms around Daken and held him tightly, “Logan can’t replace you or what you are to me Daken.”

“I know.” They just sat there for a little while, holding each other and letting time pass. It was only when Daken felt like he could stand up without shaking that he said, softly, “I’m tired and you’ve got a nice couch. I’ll stay for night.”

“The bed is even nicer.” They made it to their feet and Laura smiled a little, “Gabby won’t sleep in her bed, she’ll want to cuddle, you might as well join us.”

There was a short pause and then he shook his head, “I can’t. Not after this. I need space.”

“I’ll make sure Gabby knows to get in bed with me and not bother you on the couch.” Laura nodded. “Did you get enough to eat?”

“Yeah, it will do for the night.” Taking his sisters hand he smiled at her, exhausted but honest. “Let’s set the couch up for me and then we’ll watch some shitty movie until I fall asleep.”

“That sounds perfect.” With a smile Laura went to get the spare blankets and pillows, taking a few from the bed she knew Gabby wouldn’t use tonight. When their gaze met across the room Laura thought, knowing he’d read it in her expression without being pressured to say or accept anything, _I love you brother._


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waffles aren’t really adequate breakfast and the company isn’t great either but it could be worse. Daken discovers that _worse_ will always come when invited. And Zach could use a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Abuse, PTSD, Trauma, Triggers, PTSD Flashback, Vomit
> 
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>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Saturday mornings seemed to be a quiet time even in a school filled to the brim with super-powered teenagers and angst riddled superhero teachers. Daken sipped from his cup of black coffee and listened to the silence. A few little noises here and there but overall it was pleasantly quiet. In a few hours, once the majority of teenagers and heroes had gotten out of bed, it would be like trying to handle the busy streets of New York City again.

The one thing that Daken could appreciate about being at the school was how well stocked the pantry turned out to be. Teenagers were terrible at staying quiet, but they came with the bonus of binge eating habits and that was very welcome. Daken had found everything he needed for waffles and now they were sizzling in the iron while he enjoyed his coffee.

Laura and Gabby had both still been sleeping when Daken decided that he had enough of waking himself up with nightmares. That talk with Logan had brought up memories and thoughts which Daken had spent decades burying and now he had to deal with the consequences. At least that made for a good excuse on why he felt the need to eat the least healthy breakfast food imaginable.

The sound of singing came to Daken long before the sight of Drake himself. _“You're just another guy_

 _Okay, you're kinda sexy but you're not really special.”_ He’d gone for a fast jog. _“But I won't mind if you take me home -”_ Like Daken, he’d had issues sleeping and rather than toss and turn he’d figured the best way to deal with it was to make himself tired. _“- come on take me home.”_ Bobby didn’t want to punch his feelings though so he’d forgone the cliche of Xmen in the Danger room to just go for a regular jog, but now he was hungry and sweaty. _“I won't mind if you take off all your clothes, come on take 'em off. 'Cause I like you so much better when you're naked!”_

Normally there was no one in the kitchen at this time. Everyone was tired from staying up on Friday, or from dealing with a crisis, or jetlagged. The singing broke off suddenly as his eyes fell on the form of Daken cooking. Bobby blinked several times, pulled his earbuds out and scowled in confusion, “You can cook?”

“You can sing?” Daken asked right back and then chuckled, “I can cook, yes. Want some waffles? I also made coffee.” As much as Daken wanted peace and quiet, he actually needed to talk to Drake so might as well use the chance.

“I was in a Catholic boys choir till they kicked me out for missing too much.” It was an easy answer, which was important because Bobby was confused. Daken’s entire family was here, so it wouldn't have been right to deny him access to the school and thus to them. However this was still the guy who had so recently tried to kill him making waffles in the kitchen of the school Bobby was sort or running. He wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing or if he was putting a lot of people in danger. “And sure, but I'll get some fruit out. Waffles are delicious but believing they are anything but tiny cakes and nutritionally dessert is a mistake.”

“Ah yes, the worries of the normal people.” Daken nodded absently, "I admit, discovering that I couldn't stay up for four days and function on a diet of soda and cheap pizza annoyed me quite a bit when I lost my healing factor."

“I'm sure I could make it work but …” Bobby shrugged. It was still too early for deep thoughts. After having spent a night with the skeleton’s in his closet he just wanted to roll on autopilot as much as possible. So he reached for the pre-cut fruit, it made his contribution easy. “Doesn't hurt to go through the motions.”

“I don’t actually live on that diet but it was frustrating to know that if I wanted, I couldn’t.” Putting another waffle on top of the growing pile he considered making another and then decided that would do. He could always make fresh ones if need be.

Daken settled at the table and filled his plate before asking, “So what’s a half Jewish guy doing in a Catholic boys choir anyway? That seems a bit odd.”

With a frown he set down the fruit and then started to fill his plate. The waffles looked good, even if the company was a little less than comforting. “With everything you knew about me the first two times we met I’m surprised you don’t know. My father is Catholic, very religious. Mom doesn’t really practice Judaism anymore. I’ve taken to it personally.”

“I know about your father but files don’t tell anything about the emotional, interpersonal side of information.” Sipping from his coffee he leaned back in the chair and gave Drake a curious look, “So Daddy made you follow Christianity. That does explain the whole being in the closet thing, I suppose. Wonder why it’s always the male parent who sucks …”

“The way you talk is always so aggravatingly underhanded and insulting.” Bobby put strawberries and kiwis on top of his waffles and then a little honey. He liked sweets but if he wasn’t eating crap junk food he didn’t feel the need to over do it. “I’m not surprised you don’t have many friends.”

“Now that was just _openly_ insulting. I like your style, very direct. It’s an art form to be subtle with insults though. You should try it sometime. Makes it easy to tell the idiots from the few smart ones.”

“Or you could try not to be a pretentious and passive aggressive prick.” Bobby arched a brow, “You notice I didn’t bring the frost till you started in with the personal attacks? I have a lot of reasons not to trust you Daken and I’m doing my best to find out why I’m wrong and see in you what Laura, Gabby, and Remy see.”

“They are the wrong ones.” Reaching for one of the strawberries he took a bite and shrugged, “Family is complicated, Snowflake. The only one who has had the right idea about me _and_ is related, well, that would be Logan. I do love my sisters but yes, Laura believe far too much in the idea that there is … good in me.”

 _Do you really believe that? That there’s nothing good in you?_ Bobby stared for a moment before speaking, “I could believe that maybe Laura was projecting, but Gabby has already shown good, if odd taste. Also, Remy, he’s not an easy one too fool. Logan? Logan’s been wrong. He thought Rachel Grey Summers wasn’t salvageable at one point. But you want me to believe that you’re just an irredeemable villian who cannot be trusted?”

“Hero and villain, good and bad – do you people have no concept of moral ambiguity? Tell me, what makes someone _bad?_ Is it murder? Because sorry to tell you but you killed quite a lot of people when you had your gay panic moment and froze the entire planet. Or maybe it’s rape? Where does that start then? With a non-consensual kiss? That makes both of us guilty then.”

Flustered and ashamed of himself Bobby hurried to answer, “Look I’m sorry about that, I needed to surprise you so that I could catch you and the seed off guard. I …” Bobby shook his head, “It’s not like I can’t see the fact that life isn’t binary. I’m not saying that if you’re not a villain you’ve got to be a hero. What I’m trying to say is that it sounds like you’re not leaving room for yourself to be anything else.”

“You don’t know me, just like all I know of you is a folder of black on white data that says nothing about who you actually are. So let’s not pretend this is anything but uncomfortable conversation over breakfast because we inconveniently happened to be awake around the same time. I don’t fit any of your labels and you can’t put me into a neat little drawer to make the world seem more reasonable.”

 _I try to be nice, it doesn’t matter. I try to be honest, it doesn’t matter. You are just an asshole. You don’t want to be friends, you don’t want to let anyone get to know you._ “Honestly I think this is the first time we’ve met. I know from experience that the person you are when you’re under the sway of the Death Seed isn’t who you really are. It’s a perversion.” He looked down at his half finished breakfast and said, rather more openly than he honestly wanted to, “If it had just been gay panic someone could have talked me down.” Bobby thought of Warren and a lump formed in his throat. The guy he’d grown up with, one of his closest friends, and deepest regrets. Bobby pulled himself out of his reverie, and looked at Daken again. That was a mistake though. Daken was beautiful in the same way Warren had been after his time with Apocalypse. There was a fierceness to Daken, a power and danger that were quite familiar to Bobby. The bright blue eyes set in that angular and stupidly lovely face was almost too much, too impossibly lovely. “That wasn’t what it was though.” His mouth spoke without his mind, running on autopilot, “It was the Death Seed, and it made swiss cheese of my morals, my pain, and my desires. It fractured me.”

There was a long moment of silence in which they stared at each other, the air was was tense, so much so that anyone who happened upon them would have thought this was the prelude to a fight. They would have been wrong though. The tension came not from anger but a sudden realization that there was something which connected them, a feeling that could not be denied. _It should be forbidden to be that attractive with such messy hair. Who knew you’d get curls if you grew that mess?_ The thought came unbidden to Daken and it snapped him out of the silence.

“I had considered to come here, you know, ask for help. Then I remembered that the X-Men only help when they feel like it and that my dear Father certainly had some things to say about me to all of you. Now if only I had figured out cutting myself open would solve the problem _before_ I kidnapped and groomed a teenager.” His expression grew softer and there was shame visible in his eyes, “Is … is he okay?”

It touched Bobby, the strange moment of understanding. It left him open and vulnerable to what came next, to Daken looking honestly remorseful. “Zach is … he’s not happy. I visit him two or three times a week and he either yells at me or won’t talk to me. Quire has made some ground with him though.” Bobby sighed and put more waffle in his mouth. His failure to connect with Zach was one of the reasons he was still talking to a therapist _twice_ a week. 

“I broke his trust. He’ll never trust anyone easily again. A valuable lesson but not one I think a fifteen year old needs.” Breakfast suddenly tasted of ash and blood. Putting the fork down he just sat there and contemplated his options. After a moment Daken asked, “Can I see him? Yes, I know. I am a horrible excuse for a human being and an adult but … I don’t do this. I don’t hurt _children._ ”

 _If Judah knew that you were having breakfast with this asshole he’d be livid. If he knew you were going to let Daken talk to Zach Judah would give you the arctic shoulder._ “I think you should, talk to him that is. Zach needs someone he can trust. Whether any of us like it or not he trusts you. And Kitty isn’t here to say no.” Bobby pulled out his phone and typed a few things. “What’s your cellphone number?”

“Which one?” Daken chuckled and then reached into the pocket of his jeans, “Here, it’s my private one. Laura made me get one because apparently it’s annoying when I ignore her on the business one.” Shoving the phone with his number on display across the table he shrugged.

 _Personal phone huh?_ Bobby entered Daken’s number into this Phone under ‘ _too Pretentious to Function’_ and set his nickname to tPtF. Then he sent him Zach’s room number and a copy of his class schedule. “I don’t know how long you’re sticking around but there, you can figure out when you want to stop by.”

“Just don’t abuse your new power to make me react to anything you might text me, Snowflake. It’s not nice to do that.” There were only two people he had given that number. Laura and Johnny. Neither of them was in the habit of texting him just for the hell of it. It felt oddly intimate to be sharing something personal with Drake and if someone asked why he did it, Daken would have had a hard time explaining.

“Daken, I don’t hate you but we aren’t friends. I don’t know why I would text you.”

“Exactly because we _aren’t_ friends. Come on, you never had someone to annoy at three in the morning with your sudden need to discuss some completely ridiculous topic?” Daken smirked, “Used to do that with someone, been a while though.”

“I’m up at three in the morning more than I want to be.” Bobby sighed and licked his lips. “You can text me, but I don’t need any dick pics. I get enough of those off of Grindr.” With that Bobby stood up and carried his plate to the sink. 

That made Daken arch a brow and laugh, “Maybe I’m getting too damn old to understand modern flirting but if someone sent me a picture of their genitalia, I wouldn’t be particularly impressed. Haven’t these people ever heard of tastefully erotic photographs?” Daken stood up to join Drake in cleaning up after their breakfast.

“Apparently they haven’t. I get about six a week day and more on the weekends.” Bobby shrugged. “It’s what happens to people who look … uke? I think that’s what the last couple of people I talked to on tumblr said but they were nineteen, too young by the way, and … it’s just … it’s a mess.” _Why am I still talking?_

There was a pause and then Daken was laughing, honestly laughing. _Westerners and their misuse of foreign terms_ , _this is just - wow._

“What? What did I say?” Getting a laugh was absolutely Bobby’s thing, but he normally liked to have planned it. This was not like one of his stunts or Dad jokes. This was awkward and embarrassing. 

Daken held up one hand to signal that he needed a minute and then he took a deep, slow breath. This was the kind of thing he normally suppressed but his filter had not been working quite right for a while now. With a sigh he looked back at Bobby and shrugged, “Uke is a Japanese term used in the manga and anime community for a homosexual men who …” Daken paused and then settled on, “Receives.”

Bobby blinked twice and then shook his head. It settled in and then he was blushing brightly, “This is another reason not to date anyone under twenty seven! It’s also just … What about me screams bottom? What about me?” He held up his hand this time and shook his head, “I think it might be time to start drinking. It’s Saturday, I only have to work if something goes wrong.”

“I laughed because of how unfitting I think that particular term is. Usually it refers to slim, feminine boys. Not a grown man with the physique of a superhero.” Daken shrugged a second time and then added, “I’ll check on my lazy sisters and then see if Zach wants anything to do with me.”

“Yeah, if he throws a book at you and tells you to get out you can join my club.” Though he was still blushing and frustrated Bobby was trying to move on. Internally he was fixating on it. 

“Later, Snowflake.” Waving a hand lazily he left the kitchen and wondered how in the hell this conversation had ever happened. _I need to stay the hell away from Drake._

 _Whatever I do I need to stay as far away from Daken as possible. He’s bad news._ Bobby caught sight of his distorted reflection in the side of the refrigerator and frowned. “Bullshit Tumblr trolls!”

* * *

Saturdays were boring. Most the kids were still suspicious of him. That meant if he did anything it was alone. Drake normally didn’t bother him till Sunday so there was no break in the monotonous loneliness. There wasn’t a lot to do save watch videos and lift. 

Working out, normally in his room alone, was part of his daily life now. It helped him fall asleep at night, kept the chatter down in his brain, and gave him something to focus on. His laptop sat atop the desk in his room with books piled under. This brought it up to a comfortable level, and made it easier for him to watch while he did power partials and hammer curls. 

_“My name is Paul Woban and today we’re going to throw rice at businessmen reading the newspaper on park benches while dressed as a unicorn samurai from the forty first century.”_

It was another stupid video, but it got his mind off of his life here. A few months back and he was certain that he was destined for Miss Lee’s class. They were going to reeducate him and kick him to the curb. There was no place for him here, there never had been. 

_I clean up my own messes._ Daken stood at the door to Zach’s room and almost wanted to laugh at himself. Killing a whole lot of people was easy. This? This wasn’t. It required the admission of mistakes and interpersonal skills which as much as he knew how to _play_ people, wasn’t actually something Daken was comfortable with. A game was easy, this wasn’t one. Taking a deep breath he raised his hand and knocked.

 _Really Drake? I am in no mood._ “Sit and spin Professor elf ears!”

Daken briefly considered opening the door but then decided to be respectful of the fact that Zach hadn’t said to enter. Calling through the door he said, “Last I checked I wasn’t a Professor.”

_“Hahahaha he’s crying do you see that? Full grown ass man crying!”_

Zach closed his laptop and set down the weights. _Daken? Am I hallucinating?_ He opened the door and stared. It was him. No one had told him that Daken was in the school. He knew that people were excited about the OG Wolverine, but he’d had no idea that Daken had shown up. “What are you doing here?”

“Checking on my favorite. What else would I want to be here for? This isn’t a place where I’m welcome, Zach.” For all Daken’s external composure his heart ached and he felt like a fool. He had no idea how to handle this situation and there was a good chance he would make it worse instead of better.

“You ditched me.” Part of him wanted to embrace this, to hold onto the idea that he was special, that he mattered to someone, but the truth was he didn’t believe it. Daken had been his ticket out of obscurity but now all he had was burned bridges and the sort of notoriety that made people question if they could trust him. 

“Yeah, I did. Zach … I am sorry. For everything I did. That wasn’t me, I never -” Daken stopped himself and made a face, “No, I won’t make any excuses for what I did.”

“Why are you here?” It was the same basic question as he had asked before. Zach wasn’t sure he wanted to see Daken now that he was in his doorway looking at him. He remembered the night in Daken’s room when he’d touched the Death Seed, and all the bizarre and frightening things that happened after. Zach was still not sure if it had all been his fault or if everything from start to finish had just been one big lie.

“That’s a long story. Short version would be that the X-Men are running out of people because apparently some are stuck in prison for whatever reason. I don’t really care much.”

“So I’m an afterthought. Right.” Zach started to close the door. _I do not need this. I really don’t need this._

“No. Zach – I wanted to come here earlier but I kinda had - ... an interesting trip to Japan. Besides, if I had shown up before everyone calmed the hell down … well, I wouldn’t even have made it to you. They would’ve stopped me.”

 _Shit, that makes sense, that’s logical._ Zach chewed on his bottom lip for a moment and then made a choice. “Stop standing in the hall.” The door opened and he stood aside, “Get in here.”

So far, so good. At least he didn’t have to say more embarrassing things in the hallway. Daken glanced around the room for a second, taking in the fact that this was far too orderly for a teenager. _I told him to clean up after himself. No, I **taught** him to do that. So much on the topic of never training a kid._

“I get it if you don’t ever want to see me again after this but I think I owe it to you to apologize and let you tell me off for what was … abuse.”

“Look I did my research.” Zach pushed a hand back through his hair, “You were using me. You picked me out because my gift was useful, almost made for just your situation. So you charmed me and you gave me what I wanted.” With a shrug he put the weights away properly as he continued to speak, “Professor McCoy and Drake have spent a lot of time explaining what the Death Seed is, how it works. I found footage from when Drake had it. What I’m trying to say is, you were insane. You were totally mental.”

There is was again. Daken had spent the last month contemplating if accepting that his state of mind made him guiltless would mean Romulus wasn’t guilty either. There was no ignoring the fact that something had been fundamentally wrong with him and insanity came in several different forms. And the idea of having to _forgive -_ “That is no excuse for the things I’ve done to you. You are a person, Zachary. Treating you as if you are some … tool to be used, it’s inexcusable.”

The insistence made him feel weird. There was nothing else for him to fuss with though so he just stood there and asked, “So … what happened to it?” Zach licked his lips and arched his brows, “I can tell it isn’t there, the seed.”

“I cut it out. Same day. After realizing that I could just do that because it was an actual object.” Daken made a face, “Yeah, guess I should have just tried that one first but even I don’t just go digging around in my insides without a good reason to believe it can achieve something.”

“Well yeah, it would have been nice if we could have just figured that out.” It hurt, part of him wanted to kick Daken out right then but instead he tried using his words, “Guess you wouldn’t have needed me at all and I could have just stayed here, obscure, bland, and friendless.” Zach shrugged, “Not sure what is more pitiful.”

“Zachary, I _hurt_ you. I _abused_ you.” Daken took a step closer, “Look at me - what I did was horrible. There was _nothing_ good about it. You need to understand that. If you cling to the idea that I did something good for you, that this helped you in any way … you'll turn out like me. And you **_don't_** want to be me. **I** don't want to be me.”

A light flush covered Zach’s face as he absorbed what was being said. Once Daken stopped talking Zach took a step forward and just let it out, “I wanted out of here. I wanted to go with you. I liked you and I thought I was part of a team. You helped me, you … you made me special. Yeah you also used me and did some messed up stuff, but there was … I thought you cared. I guess I was wrong, it was all shit and I'm stupid for believing I could ever matter to you. What would you need me for without the seed anyway hu? I know you've got your _cool_ family. The ones you actually love. Laura stopped by. She tried to explain. I get it now.”

The words hung thickly in the air and Daken just stood there, looking down into a pair of hazel eyes that held so much hope and pain at the same time.

“ _You’re special, my boy.”_

Daken felt his chest tighten and his hands tremble. _No, focus. Focus -_

_"You owe me everything." Heavy, large hands rubbed over his thighs before spreading them apart. Daken breathed and tried not to flinch as the hot, sharp pain followed. "Without me, you're nothing boy."_

Stumbling back he pressed one hand against the wall and reached up with the other, fumbling with the button’s of his shirt. It felt like he couldn’t breath. Like something, someone, was strangling him. _I’m not him. I’m not him. I won’t be – oh god what have I done?_

“Uh … Daken?” Zach frowned and cocked his head to the side, “Dude.” He tried amping Daken’s powers down, wondering if he was feeling over stimulated. It was the only thing he could do aside from talking or touching. The former wasn’t helping and the latter seemed like a really bad idea. His control was still good, what he’d learned with Daken hadn’t gone to waste. “Dude just calm down alright? I was being melodramatic because I’m jealous. Like … I just want you to like me.”

The words barely reached him. Daken was aware there was talking happening but he wasn’t paying attention to the actual words. His senses were filled with the sound of heavy breathing and whispered lies. He could _feel_ hands on him, just one heavy and large enough to wrap around his throat. He could _taste_ ash, blood and semen. And the scent of _Romulus_ and _sex_ was overwhelming.

“ _You disobeyed, boy.” Daken swallowed heavily and tried to force himself not to move after being pushed onto the bed. He knew what was coming and he knew not to fight it._

A ragged breath followed by the sound of choking and then Daken found himself kneeling on the floor. One hand still pressed against the wall as he panted and tried to orientate himself. _So much for a nice breakfast_. The thought happened and he almost started to laugh at the utter stupidity of worrying about _that_ right now.

“Oh shit!” He had a single room which meant there was no one else likely to walk in, but that meant he had to figure this all out on his own. Zach pushed his fingers through his hair and tried not to dry heave, it wouldn’t help anything. “Daken just stay there I’ll … I’ll get a washcloth … right? Like that sounds like a good idea?”

* * *

_[Hey your boyfriend is having a bit of panic attack, might wanna check on him.]_

Bobby looked up from the papers he was sorting through. Quentin was getting his telepathic legs, or whatever, back under him. That meant he took it upon himself to monitor a lot of things which was useful with Rachel in prison and Emma Frost back to being a super creep. The delivery left a lot to be desired though. He’d set himself up in the common room closest to Zach’s room, figuring that if anything happened, Quentin would clue him in and he’d be close at hand.

 _[I’m single. If you mean Daken is he with Zach?]_ Bobby was already on his feet, the papers handled by an ice pixie as he headed in the opposite direction. He was sure that was where Daken was. That was why Quentin cared. 

_[Correction; That’s a PTSD flashback right there. You might want to handle this as if you actually did care about the guy. And come on, let me have some fun with teasing.]_

_[Can’t you do anything for him?]_ Bobby had showered and dressed for Saturday lounge day. He’d figured if he was going to have to deal with Daken he’d be icing up, not talking him down. So he was in house pants and a cat shirt. It didn’t matter though. If someone in the school was freaking out and needed help, that was on him. 

“Hey, Interim Headmaster coming in.” Bobby opened the door slowly. The smell hit him and he wrinkled his nose. He could hear the water running in the bathroom but he figured the best thing he could do as an opener was to freeze the puddle of vomit and then have it transferred into the toilet. “See that -” Bobby squatted down and tried to catch Daken’s gaze, “- that’s the real party trick.”

_[Took one glance at his mind and hell no. Whole place is a minefield of traps. Also Xavier was in there at some point but it wasn’t him who set all these traps. Just stay calm, make him focus on you. You’ll manage.]_

Daken glanced at Drake and then just closed his eyes. After the panic came the shame. It had been a while since he slid that deeply into a flashback. This was getting out of control now. He needed to stop talking about _him_. “’m … not gonna hurt anyone.”

“Tossing your cookies isn’t normally a sign of aggression.” Bobby stayed where he was and took the washcloth from Zach as he came back into the room.

“I just saw a … a frozen pile of puke throw itself into the toilet.”

“Yeah, give it five minutes and then flush.” Bobby smiled back at Zach and then refocused at Daken. “Here man, I’m just gonna help you out.” Leaning forward he moved slowly, ready to stop or defend himself if need be. 

Something about the slow, deliberately careful movements made Daken stay still and actually let Bobby clean him up. “Guess I hadn’t embarrassed myself enough yet. What’s next, going to pet my hair and tell me it’s all going to be okay?” Daken could not manage to put the fire into his words that he wanted, instead he just ended up sounding tired.

“Your hair is pretty but no, my next move, since I’m not hitting on you, was to ask you if you can stand.” _I hate you so much right now. You aren’t supposed to be an actual person with the full range of emotions and real problems._ Bobby offered Daken his hand. 

After a deep breath he took the offered hand and got back onto his feet. “You heard that, right Zach? My hair is _pretty –_ I think your teacher might be _gay_.”

“You’re both gay.” He rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “Professor Drake can you get him out of here and … like take care of him? I’m not really set up for this.” The look on his face didn’t match his words. Zach was upset, not at Daken, but at everything. He wanted to be enough, to be able to help, but it was clear to him now that nothing he could do would actually help Daken. “For the record, I don’t hate you.”

Bobby blinked, “Which one of us?” _What the hell do I do with a shaking emotional ball of jerk like Daken?_

Zach looked between them, “You’re both self absorbed show offs and I don’t hate either of you and … I forgive you, both of you. Now … I think I need some time to process what just happened.”

It made sense that Zach would rather not be dealing with him, even more so after that pathetic display of emotional instability. "I'm sorry, kid. Next time I'll just take you out to buy some new games and enjoy some ice cream, alright? Skip the whole emotion talk.”

The apology touched him but the entire situation was still too weird for him. Zach ramped Daken’s powers back to where they had been and shrugged, “If you show back up I’ll know you meant it.” The teen shrugged, “Anyway make with the leaving.”

The door closed behind them and Bobby couldn’t help thinking that he owed Daken something. Part of this was his fault. Even if none of it was his fault a flashback that was visceral enough to trigger vomiting was no joke. It was frightening and Bobby couldn’t help feeling for him. “So did you wanna come back to my place or should I call Laura?”

“Can I pick option three? The one where we pretend this never happened and we’ll never speak of it again? Look, I’m sorry that it happened around one of your students but it’s not like I have control over it. If I did, it would never happen.”

“You are reading me wrong here.” Bobby sighed and pushed a hand over his head as he tried to figure out what to say or do. “I have literally no idea what triggered that, what was said, what happened, and I don’t need to. What I do know is enough. If you want to be alone that’s fine but you don’t have to be.”

There was a pause and then Daken narrowed his eyes, “How cute, you saw I’m an actual human being and now the savior instinct has kicked in. Aw, I feel so flattered! Just what I’ve been waiting for, a hot superhero reaching out to save me from my own darkness.” Turning away he started walking, not even bothering to do so much as glance back as he added, “I don’t need saving. I don’t _want_ to be saved.”

Bobby stood there mouth agape for a moment. He’d thought that maybe there was a real person in there. That maybe he was seeing what Remy and Laura had talked about with him. “I hope you step in dog crap!” It wasn’t his best come back, it was late, and it lacked any sting. Daken had hurt his feelings, his actual feelings. Not his ego, not his pride, but his feelings. _I actually really just wanted to make sure you were okay you insecure ego-maniacal asshole._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Update Schedule!**  
>  Currently trying to figure out what works best for us. Expect the next chapter on Wednesday.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Living at the School for Misfits ™ has its ups and downs. Daken is about to call an end to his X-Men vacation and move back to sunny California but first there is some business to take care of. And with it comes a bit of sibling rivalry, sort of good parenting, a lot of confusing feelings, and a choice he thought he’d never make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Canon-typical Violence, Mentions of Sex, Sexual Identity Issues, Family Bonding, Sibling Rivalry, Jealousy
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

The third morning came and went, by noon Daken found himself wondering why he was still at the school. His plan had been to come here, do whatever Laura needed, and then get the hell out again. This was not where he belonged, another night on the damned couch and he’d start to be really grumpy. Daken missed his fluffy pillows, soft mattress and sateen egyptian cotton sheets. It was not that he’d sleep any better in his own bed but it would at least be more comfortable.

“Pass the soy sauce, please.” Laura handed him the little dish filled with the dark liquid and he dipped his sushi in it. They were sitting around the coffee table and enjoying lunch together. This part, Daken could easily get used to. The comfort of simply being with his siblings and watching Gabby be excited over new foods to try out. 

“I was thinking th-” Daken stopped midword at the sound of Laura’s phone ringing, “How rude.”

“It’s bad.” Gabby made a face as Laura pulled out her phone and scanned the message, “That’s the emergency sound.”

“It’s St. Mary’s Hospital.” Laura was already on her feet. “Gabby you stay here, Drake’s calling for all hands on deck and that means there won’t be much of anyone left in the school. I want you here incase we’re being drawn out on purpose.”

“That’s a children’s hospital.” Daken stood up as well and for a moment he contemplated the options. Long enough for his own phone to vibrate in the pocket of his jeans. Pulling it out he frowned. Drake had texted him and it was an invite to come along. _What the hell Snowflake? Damnit._

“I am coming along.”

Gabby was already in the closet digging her costume out, “They won’t get past Jonathan and I!” Jonathan was sound asleep and didn’t wake up till Gabby threw his mask at him. “Honey Badger and the Literal Wolverine are on it.” Gabby turned to look at the both of them, “Go now, you and Laura look out for each other. Jonathan and I will look out for the school!”

“You’re coming?” Laura was at the door, “Okay hurry.” She pulled her phone out and started tapping out a text, “I’m telling McCoy, maybe he’ll have something you can wear.”

Daken almost said that he would rather go naked than dress as an X-Men but that would only have made Laura challenge him to prove it. Not the best idea when they were going to a children’s hospital. Although Logan’s face might be worth the embarrassment alone.

* * *

Laura led them inside a laboratory and for a brief second Daken let himself be distracted by all the interesting tech but then he looked at McCoy and that was more attention drawing. Even he had not seen many Mutants this obviously mutated. _Looks like a very blue and very large cat. Uncomfortably tall in fact._

“Greetings Daken. I am not certain that we’ve ever been properly introduced but there is no time for that now. Danger informs me that while you were traveling to Japan they had the pleasure of being your transport and as such have your measurements handy.” Hank motioned for Daken to follow him, “I’ve laid out an assortment of different uniforms that you are more than welcomed to pick from that should fit or nearly fit, and easily serve your immediate needs.”

Laura watched from the side, curious what Daken would pick and confidant in the fact that she could get out of what she was wearing and into her suit in about thirty seconds.

“I can’t believe I am doing this.” Mumbling to himself Daken sighed and just grabbed for a simple pair of black pants and a blue colored, short sleeved shirt with that silly X on it. These people had an obsession with that letter.

“Perhaps you will be pleasantly surprised by the experience.” Hank adjusted his little black rimmed glasses with a surprisingly delicate precision despite his furry fingers. “It would certainly not be the first time such a thing had happened to all of us.”

“Thank you Professor McCoy.” Laura couldn’t help a little grin. 

“Yeah, I am sure it will be a lovely experience.” Daken rolled his eyes as he started to pull up his shirt only to be interrupted by his sister.

“Daken, this isn’t a changing room. McCoy doesn’t need you getting naked in his lab.” Laura rolled her eyes and pulled him towards the locker room.

“For the record it would not have offended me.” Hank waived them off and headed directly to the war room.

“Here, this is my locker.” Laura opened it and nodded, “We’ll share.” With that she started to undress. 

“Why so prude, sister? It’s not like I don’t run around half naked every other day.” Smirking he shrugged and then got changed quickly. The fabric of the clothes was oddly comfortable and stretchy.

“I don’t need you flirting with McCoy. He makes enough trouble as it is.” Laura caught sight of Logan, their Logan. He was dressed in a brown version of the suit she was pulling on. 

“McCoy isn’t really my type, too smart. Would give me a headache. The fluffiness is a bonus though …” Tugging the boots on he stood there and stared at himself in the mirror. This was ridiculous. He looked like an X-Man. He was _not_ an X-Man.

“He isn’t into men, despite what you may have heard.” It was not a bad look for him. Daken was only slightly more covered than he normally was in a fight, and the armored shirt hugged him in a flattering way. “Come on, you look fine.” Laura was completely dressed, the cowl hanging from her shoulders the only thing not in place.

It stood out to Logan, the people who were missing. Just about everyone was here so not seeing them, and not just the ones in jail, was affecting. _I’m getting sentimental._ Remy elbowed him in the side with a shit eating grin on his face, knocking him out of his reverie. Daken was walking in side by side with Laura. She was in the black and yellow, it suited her better than it had ever suited him. That wasn’t what held his gaze though, it wasn’t a surprise. Seeing Daken with the ‘X’ emblazoned on his chest, with it on his boots, at his hip, that was a surprise. It was something he’d hoped for in his secret heart, but not something he’d believed would ever happen. Seeing his son here like this choked him up. Logan couldn’t look away even though he knew Daken was about to catch him in the act.

The stare was noticed and Daken cocked his head at Logan, expecting a comment of some kind. Was this something Logan _wanted_ to see or was it his biggest nightmare? Daken wondered. This wasn’t really the place to start that conversation though.

When silence fell over the room Bobby looked up from the conversation he’d been having with Lasker. The newest member of the X-men, provisional as he was, needed special attention. Bobby was surprised by how easily Lasker agreed to stay with him, agreed to working side by side. Their powers were opposites and it would likely be difficult but Lasker seemed pleased with the proposition. He was not sure what had silenced everyone but his eyes fell on Daken right away, and chances were his appearance was part of it. For a moment all Bobby could do was stare, the eyes turning to him only a little blip on his radar. _Shut up self, you’re the one who asked him to come along, of course he’s going to end up suited up. Just shut up Drake._

With some effort Bobby forced himself to look away from the entirely too surreal sight of Daken wearing the X-Man logo. He addressed the room with more confidence than he felt, “Alright. I need everyone to listen. Quire is going to be our main telepath on this mission. What we lack in finesse we are going to have to make up for with good intentions and effort. We’re headed to Saint Mary’s, the Purifiers are there and the buzz is that they took personal offense to the hospital’s statement last week. Yeah the one where they made it very plain that they will treat _all_ children regardless of their background, regardless of their genetic profile. That’s basically all the time we have. Get on the Blackbird.” _Not even a joke Drake? Stop staring at Daken!_

* * *

The first thing Daken realized was that he wasn’t at all in sync with any of these people. It wasn’t even just the usual problem of his inability to work with others. That he could compensate for but he was also faced with the fact that the X-Men were pulling their punches and not actually willing to hurt anyone seriously. These were religious fanatics who had attacked innocent children and he wasn’t supposed to just put his claws through their skull? No wonder most of these people had mental issues, they had to be eaten up by anger and frustration on the inside.

Purifiers everywhere. Children crying and screaming. Explosions. And X-Men strewn about the front of the hospital building. It was a mess. Daken had never claimed to be good at working with others and he found it increasingly more annoying and difficult to stick to no killing. That was why he drew back from the battle rather quickly and instead focused on working alongside Quire. Sort of. As the Telepath directed people and calmed the situation, Daken assisted reluctantly with pheromones. 

Focusing on handling the civilian part and only knocking out the occasional stray Purifier, allowed him to observe more closely. Between calming kids and worried parents he watched the X-Men, trying to get an idea of how they cooperated with each other. Mostly he found himself drawn to Drake and the fire user though. They were two people with quite flashy powers and they seemed stuck together. The odd feeling in his stomach region made Daken annoyed with himself but he pretended not to notice.

There was also Laura who, somehow, had made an art out of not killing. Watching her was actually quite enjoyable and Jimmy seemed to have no problem with keeping it in the Teen rated range as well. The kid seemed a little less happy about it but he was managing which was impressive and frustrating at the same time. And whenever Daken did catch sight of Logan, he found that his old man wasn’t seeming to have any issues with not severely injuring and killing people either. _Just me then, figures. I don’t belong with these people, never have. Never will. This isn’t my world._

Though the battle kept Logan busy he was still aware of his teammates. As he punched out Purifiers and directed people to safety he caught sight, again and again, of his son. He and Laura had spent a lot of time talking. Logan knew that the man he remembered wasn’t the man he was looking at. It didn’t surprise him that Laura had faith in Daken. What did surprise Logan was just how right it felt. Daken was holding his own _and_ holding himself in check. He was self moderating, helping Quire, and being incredibly gentle with frightened children. It touched on something in him Logan didn’t want to look at. Seeing his son wearing the gear, doing the work, being a better version of himself, it was almost too much for him to bear. It was the first time he’d seen the pheromone mutation used in a way that didn’t turn his stomach. Daken was saving lives by calming people down and getting them to go where they would be safe. The only reason he hadn’t lost his shit was the fact that Laura was fighting side by side with him. If he broke he’d let her down.

As the dust settled Logan saw Drake and the fire starter head back inside the hospital. Big Blue and the Swamp Rat were working with the authorities to get all the Purifiers wrangled and into custody. Just as he’d turned to Laura she rushed off, clearly answering a telepathic call to go help somewhere. _Just leaves us_. Logan walked towards Quire and Daken, curious to see how that partnership was working out.

 _What a mess._ Daken stood there with the crying girl in his arms and just glanced around the battlefield. There was still some ice left from the battle and a bunch of Purifiers were waiting to be picked up and removed. Seeing them wiggle on the ground, handcuffed and beaten, was almost a little funny.

The girl hiccuped in his arms and he turned his attention back to her. “Shh, it’s okay. The bad people can’t hurt you anymore. See, they are over there and the police are going to take them away.” Daken rocked her gently and she sniffled but trustingly leaned against him. It was nice.

Quire was approaching him and Daken could see Logan coming their way as well but the one that drew his eyes was the young woman with her deep red hair and friendly but exhausted smile. She smelled of disinfectant and cough syrup, and she was looking at him with an odd thankfulness in her eyes as she stopped in front of him.

“I can take her.” The woman’s face was smudged, and there was a cut on her arm but she was wearing scrubs and had a badge clipped to the hem of her shirt. “Alicia, you remember me right? We’re going to find your mother.”

Daken narrowed his eyes and took a deep breath. It wasn’t a lie. The red haired woman was telling the truth. “Alright princess, you’ve been very brave.” Giving the little girl a smile he handed her over to the young woman. “She’s not injured but definitely in shock.”

“Thank you for taking care of her.”

“Candice is worried.” She looked up at the nurse and then back at her rescuer. “My blood doesn’t stop. She always tells me to be careful.”

“Shh Alicia, don’t bother the X-man. He’s very busy and doesn’t need to know your medical history.”

“Bye!” She waved and smiled despite still being shaken.

Looking after the two he sighed and then stretched lazily. This had turned out to be less stressful than expected but just as frustrating. _I don’t belong. I need to get the hell out of here. Out of this. Before it’s too late._

“Daken, Quire.” Logan reached them and gave them each a nod. “You did good, both o’ you.” His eyes landed on Daken as if to say, _I saw you._

“Thanks.” Daken said it and then almost took it back. It had been an instinctive response and not one he wanted to make. Taking it back would be even worse though. “Can’t say I liked it though. It’s not like I joined up and will now try really hard to be a good boy but that’s exactly what it will look like on TV.” He nodded over to the cameras still filming the scene from the side lines.

“Oh yeah, like that one time you walked out of a burning building with a baby in your arms? Yeah Norman’s Avengers sure were trying to make you look real good in public. Too bad that didn’t last …” Quentin crossed his arms and gave Daken a rather displeased look. The fact that the guy had even joined them at all sat wrong with him and then the pheromones had been used.

“Quire.” Logan felt himself pulled in two directions. It was hard to know where to stand, but as was so often true with him he followed his gut. Logan found himself facing off with the young man who had been both ward and tormentor to him. “If we’re bringin’ up e’eryone’s dark past there’s a few things you gotta own, heck me and over half the team are in the same damn boat.”

“The part where I took drugs and got someone killed? Sending you through a horror trip just to prove I can? Showing up at the arms conference and getting my very own criminal record? Which part Logan, because I can still keep track of the shit I’ve done. I wouldn’t assume either of you can still do that.”

“Says the barely legal kid.” Daken rolled his eyes, “When you’ve reached seventy and can still keep track, then we can talk about guilt and owning up to it.”

It was a good point but it was clear that Quire was not only not impressed but about to launch into another round of berating. Rather than let that fall all on Daken Logan cut in, “Are you gettin’ your panties twisted over me standin’ for Daken?” Logan took a few steps towards Quire. “Does that make you _feel_ a certain way?”

“Yeah, it does.” Quentin did not move an inch, he wasn’t just not scared or intimidated, he wasn’t even remotely concerned. The time when he had feared Logan or at least his judgment, had passed while the asshole had been dead. “I generally don’t tend to appreciate it when people put my fellow students and me in danger and then get to walk. You suddenly discovering your paternal instincts only makes it worse.”

“If we turned our backs on everyone who ever fucked up Drake wouldn’t be on the team, neither would I, or Gambit. Aren’t you the one who used to go around with a shirt declarin’ how Magneto was right? Quire, you don’t got a leg to stand on bub.”

“Alright, could you both shut up now? I am not here to be used as a prop so you two can have your ‘Daddy Issues’ talk. This would be over much faster if you just told him you missed him terribly, Quire. And really, Logan, grow up. You are too damn old to not get it when some punk kid is jealous of you showing affection to others.” With a deeply annoyed sigh Daken turned around and started walking away.

Logan sighed and looked at Quire. He wanted to go after Daken but he knew that wouldn’t do any good, and the look on the kid’s face said a lot, even if he wasn’t saying much. “Is that it kid? Did you miss me?”

There was a pause while Quentin struggled to decide on which insult to throw at Logan. In the end he just said, “Yeah. Clearly I’ve lost my fucking mind.” Without looking at Logan he just followed after Daken.

“Keepin’ sons happy is a lot harder than it ought’a be.” Logan rolled his eyes as shook his head. “Try to keep ‘em safe you’re coddlin’ em. Give ‘em instructions you’re bossy. Die, you left them. Pay attention to ‘em you’re clingy. Stand up for them you’re posturin’. There’s no fuckin’ winnin’.” The words were said to himself, not meant for Quire or Daken. 

From within the shattered hospital Bobby, Lasker, and Laura emerged. The three of them were standing close together on an ice slide. Laura kept her balance without effort, but as Bobby took a sharp turn he he had to put an arm around the firestarter to keep him steady. “Everyone not assigned to roping get back to the Blackbird. We aren’t giving interviews today.”

“What? And here I thought I could finally get my five minutes of fame!” Daken was not sure why he suddenly felt so annoyed but seeing Drake with that fire guy somehow kept hitting a nerve. Maybe he was simply tense after that conversation.

“Daken if you wanted fame you’d be a model.” Bobby rolled his eyes and held Lasker closer as he made the ice slide swop low. This allowed Laura to jump down and hug her brother, but also for him to be close enough to speak earnestly and not loudly, “Thanks for coming along.”

Even as Daken wrapped one arm around Laura’s waist, his expression stayed neutral and almost disinterested, “I did it for the kids, Popsicle. Not you. Not the X-Men. And definitely not the cameras.” That blonde was leaning in close and looking at Drake with an odd kind of interest. Daken could tell by scent that Lasker had developed a crush on the other elemental. Somehow that made him itch with the sudden urge to drive his claws through someone’s skull after all.

“I don’t give a frost who you did it for. You showed up and you made my life easier. If you don’t care for that as a side effect -” Bobby shrugged, “- guess that’s your problem.” He noticed Lasker leaning in and considered letting it be, but instead decided not to indulge the new guy. “Get off here. I’ve got leader business.” As soon as Lasker was off the slide and clearly being eyed by Rogue Bobby zipped away. 

Daken made a face, took a deep breath and then said to Laura, < _Sister, remind me again why I can’t kill that guy, please? >_

 __Laura shrugged and wove her fingers between his. __

Daken had no issue being seen showing affection with Laura. Pretty much the whole nation had watched him hug her on CNN already.

 __Laura smiled as she avoided the implied question. She leaned close to her brother, wondering to herself if he would stay.

 __Logan smiled at his daughter and at his son before moving on. He could sit with Jubes and leave Laura and Daken to each other, for now.

* * *

If someone had asked Daken how he had gone from fighting alongside the X-Men to sitting on the floor getting his hair braided, Daken would not have known how to answer. He was not entirely sure how it had happened either. All he knew was that he was still wearing the X-Men pants and that Gabby was braiding his hair. This was the part of being a big brother which made him want to find a hole to crawl into because it contradicted everything about his ‘image’ that could be contradicted.

“I don’t understand how you do that Gabby.” It was incredibly fascinating. Laura had been doing a bit of research but it was hard to concentrate when there was actual witchcraft happening in her living space.

“S’not hard really. I mean look.” Gabby continued to pass the chunks of hair under and around each other, picking up more as she went. 

“You’ve put ribbons in it. I don’t even see where you’ve anchored them.”

“Are they pink?” Daken made a miserable expression but tried to avoid moving as not to disturb Gabby’s delicate work, “It’s a fine color but it looks terrible with my skin tone. Please don’t be pink.”

“They’re blue for your eyes you silly.” Gabby held one of the extra ribbons out around the side of his head. “Also you look fine in pink. You know Wade looks great in it. The color really helps compliment his skin.”

“How many hours will it take to untangle this? Or will I be walking around with bows in my hair for the rest of my sort of immortal existence? I am sure some people would find that hilarious.”

“Untangle? Daken, this is incredible. It looks like something out a book.” The tone in Laura’s voice was awed. 

“You have so little faith in me. If I didn’t love you so much I’d be mad.” Gabby tucked the last bit in at the base of Daken’s skull, pushed a pin through it and then nodded. “Go on, go take a look and see if you feel a little sheepish.”

Daken got up from his spot on the fluffy carpet and went into the bathroom to look at himself. The sight gave him pause. The braids were done beautifully and elegantly, the ribbons were the same shade as his eyes and they seemed to just fit. It was -

“I take it back.” Daken came into the living space again and looked at his little sister with wonder, “You did a beautiful job. Maybe you’re supposed to become a hairdresser instead of a superhero.”

“I can do both.” With a wide grin she declared, “Honey Badger salon, hair stylist by day, hero by night! Because you know most of the really exciting stuff happens at night.”

“It does. We super villains like the darkness and the shadow of the night.” Daken nodded with a very serious expression.

All Laura did was roll her eyes.

“You expect me to argue with you but I won’t.” Gabby motioned, “You’re clearly the super villain, you’re bisexual, you’re sexy in a way that isn’t totally masculine, speaking of you’re not super into the whole macho thing, and you’re educated. Oh and you’re mixed. You are everything America hates and fears.”

“Laura, look at our little sister. She _gets it_!” Daken grinned and then squatted down to fluff Gabby’s hair, “Except for the bisexual part, you are right. I am everything evil.”

Gabby shrugged and cocked her head, “Phrasing. Are you saying I’m wrong about you being bisexual?”

“Labels are terribly restricting. I’ve never been a fan of using them. I supposed bisexual isn’t _wrong_ but it’s not _right_ either.” Daken frowned and then sighed, “I should definitely not be discussing that with my little sister.”

“How am I supposed to learn about these things if no one talks to me about them?”

“She’s right Daken. If you don’t want to talk about it for yourself that’s fine, but you aren’t doing her favors by keeping it to yourself.” Laura took a sip of her coco and shrugged. “For the record I think Daken is right about labels.” 

“Yeah but Laura, am _I_ really the right person to give a sexuality talk?” Daken chuckled and then shrugged, “There are a million labels these days, I have no idea what half of them mean if I’m honest. Used to be simpler when it was just normal, gay and if you were really lucky to be around progressive people, they might know the term bi too.”

“You’re the oldest person in the room, you’ve lived.” Gabby cocked her head, “Aliens, have you ever - Wade has. More than once.”

Laura put a hand over her face and groaned. 

“No, no I can’t say I had _that_ experience.” Daken shook his head and then made a face, “As far as unusual goes, I suppose I lack stories. Unless we count threesomes? Do we count these as unusual?”

“That’s pretty normal.” Gabby shrugged, “I mean it’s just more people. The question is where does everyone put their legs?”

“Now I’m trying to imagine where everyone’s legs would go.” Laura made another face and sighed. 

“Legs aren’t the problem, genitals are. You’ve got no idea how hard it is to line things up when there are three parts involved! It’s a nightma-” Daken paused at the sound of a knock on Laura’s door. A deep breath told him who it was and the good mood was instantly gone. _Logan._

“Twenty five with chicken!” Gabby grinned. Jonathan was at the door, scratching and looking expectantly at all the ‘humans’.

Laura stood up and opened the door. Logan was standing there, three bags of chinese food one hand, and a brown paper sack in the other. He was dressed in the most stereotypical Logan-at-rest outfit possible complete with cowboy hat, plaid shirt, big western buckle, and boots. Laura smiled at him and quickly took the bags of food, “You didn’t say you’d be stopping by -”

“Daken would’a ran.” Logan shrugged and came in. He had to step over around and beside Jonathan. The wolverine was excited to see him. “I won’t stay long, I just figured you kids needed some dinner …”

“Awe! You’re not gonna stay?” Gabby frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. 

“What the hell is twenty five with chicken and who let the cowboy break out of the western?” Daken crossed his arm and arched a brow. “Seriously, can you get any more cliche, _oyaji_?”

“It’s the best!” Gabby was already helping Laura set up the coffee table. “It’s one of the great joys of life Daken, I can’t believe you haven’t had it!”

Logan took a moment to watch Laura and Gabby before he looked at Daken. The braided updo looked sort of sweet and was likely the work of Gabby as everyone knew Laura couldn’t even manage a regular braid. Logan held the brown paper sack out to his son, “Sake and soda. And I wear what’s comfortable.”

“Sake?” Daken looked curious now and he took the bag to open it. “Huh, now you _have_ to stay. I need someone to drink with and technically Laura isn’t old enough yet …”

Laura looked up, the expression on her face unreadable, “Yes, you have to stay.”

“But Laura -”

“Gabby, we want Dad to stay.” She gave her little sister a look.

“Oh yeah.” Gabby winked a few times, “Yeah, clearly Dad has to stay so that Daken has someone to drink with. Right. Obviously you don’t drink Laura.”

“You don’t gotta twist my arm.” Logan took off his hat, set it on the peg next to the door, and then started to pull his boots off.

“I said _technically_ , sweetheart. We all know Laura doesn’t follow rules since she discovered she doesn’t have to.” Daken rolled his eyes and then put the bag down, “I’ll change out of these ridiculous pants and then we can eat.” He fluffed Gabby’s hair as he walked by her and disappeared into the bathroom.

A strange unspoken understanding passed between the three of them. “I was gonna ask that blond kid to join us but he was broodin’ on the roof pretty heavily. Seemed to me that he wanted to be left alone.”

“He might have been waiting for a pick up. Jimmy spends a lot of his time with the Blue team and they don’t really announce where they’re going or when.” Laura shrugged, “I like Jimmy. He’s a good person.”

“Yeah, I like him too, one of the best interdimensional brothers a sister could ask for.” She sat down next to Logan but left space for Daken to sit next to her. 

In the bathroom Daken took a moment to prepare himself for spending time with his _father._ Remembering the last time they had really seen each other still brought the taste of muddy water back. It was one thing to co-exist or to go out to protect a bunch of children together. It was another story to sit down and share a meal. Sighing softly he slid a shirt on and switched the pants before coming back to join the other three at the table.

“So this is supposed to be good, yeah?” Daken sniffed the contents of the white box and arched a brow, there were so many spices. Cumin, smoked paprika and coriander stood out clearly but Daken could tell there was a whole list of them involved.

“I wasn’t sure what Laura and Gabby were on about but they ordered it the other day and -”Logan shrugged, “It’s good.”

“It’s twenty-five with chicken Daken. Even Maria Hill will admit it’s good.” Gabby rolled her eyes. “She’s a spy, you can’t make her admit anything.”

“Is that a challenge? Please say it is because I heard Hill is a terrible bigot and I like messing with these.” Daken smirked and then took a bite. The first thing he noticed was that there was nothing authentic about the taste. The second thing was that he didn’t care. It was delicious anyway.

“Hill’s not so bad, she’s a lot easier to manipulate than Fury.” Logan shrugged. 

“Do you like it Daken?” Gabby wiggled and looked at her brother expectantly.

Daken just nodded and took another bite. Now that he was eating, he noticed how hungry he actually was. After a few more bites he pulled the little cups from the bag, place them down and filled them up. One for Logan, one for Laura and one for himself. Gabby, healing factor or not, was way too young to be drinking. So for her it was a glass filled with soda instead.

Everyone ate in silence. It was as if when Daken poured for Laura he had admitted something and no one in the room quite knew what say or do about. Gabby looked at her brother and then at her Dad, and then back again. It wasn’t till her little white and red take out box was almost empty that she said anything. “Dad, did you bring a treat for Jonathan? I think he’s going to chew a hole in my pants.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry about that kiddo.” Logan patted himself down and then handed a rawhide chew toy off to her. 

“Thanks!” Gabby tossed the chew and then raced Jonathon to see which one of them would get it first.

Laura giggled. It was adorable and so sweet a sight that she couldn’t contain the mirth inside herself. 

“I admit, I’ll miss being around to see her just be a kid.” Daken leaned back and watched as Gabby fought with her pet over the treat just to keep Jonathan entertained.

“I wanted to talk to you both about that.” Logan cleared his throat and shifted a little. “I’ve got a lotta places I could go and things I could check up on. Might be I can help Walters with the court case, or maybe I ought’a check in on this other Logan running around.” He caught the look on Laura’s face, and hated himself for hurting here again, “What I’m sayin’ is, you should stay Daken, and I’ll leave.”

“Logan, I’m not leaving because you are here. That would be an admission of guilt or fear and we both know I don’t do that. It’s just that I don’t belong here.” Daken shrugged, “I’m many things but an X-Men isn’t on that list.”

“I don’t want you to go Daken.” Laura looked over at her brother and pressed her lips together. “I put in for another single room. It’s taking a few days because Kitty and Ororo aren’t here but you won’t have to keep sleeping on my sofa.”

“Laura …” Daken sighed and filled their cups again just to empty his. This was a mess. “Is this why they say that once you were an X-Men you never get to quit?”

“I don’t care if you don’t go on missions. I just don’t want you to leave.” Laura smiled a little, “Gabby and I missed you so much while you were in Madripoor.”

“I’ll be gone -” Logan fell silent when his daughter looked at him.

“Daken said that he wasn’t leaving because of you. There’s nothing you can do to help Walters. You’d be underfoot. I want you here too. If I had my way Jimmy would be staying with us as well.” She looked between her brother and her father for a moment before continuing, “We’re a family and if we can make this work then we should.” She looked at Gabby and Jonathan playing with the rawhide before looking back at Daken and Logan.

“I hate you for how much I adore you, Laura.” Sighing deeply he closed his eyes for a moment and then looked directly at Logan, “You’re staying. You leave and I swear I’ll come after you and drag you back here. Being a shit father isn’t something that can’t be changed.”

Logan downed his sake and then poured himself another cup. “Is Drake gonna give us trouble over this? From what I heard you and him really did have a go at each other.”

“The little Snowflake will get over it. Everyone gave him a pass for nearly murdering the entire population of this planet. In comparison I was harmless.”

“Daken be fair.” Laura looked over at Logan and sighed, “Drake actually invited Daken along today and has been doing his best to reach out. I talked to him about Daken staying and he’s in favor of it. He said that Rogue, Gambit, Jubilee, and himself had talked it over and decided that since the Death Seed is gone and Daken has proven himself to be no danger that he is welcomed to stay here at the school.”

Logan looked at his son and nodded his head, “It sounds like you’ve made quite the impression.”

“He just thinks I’m kind of cute.” Daken shrugged and tried to pretend he wasn’t blushing. _Stupid Drake with his stupid good guy beliefs and behaviors._

“You’re staying?!” Gabby ran up and wrapped her arms around Daken’s neck. “You’re staying! Don’t worry, even when you get your own room I’ll hang out with you all the time. I’ll spend every third night in your room … it might end up fourth if Jimmy ever sticks around.”

Logan sat there watching his children and wondered if he was still dead and had somehow ended up in heaven. _You have to tell him the truth. You can’t keep this up._ Logan swallowed the thought down with another shot of sake. 


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken has a visitor and there are confessions to be made and a friendship to save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Sexual Themes, Consent Discussion, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Violence
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
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The hardest choice hadn’t been if he should come or not, it had been whether he should fly or drive. In the end he settled on driving. Daken hadn’t been answering his calls, but he had Laura’s number now, so he knew what was going on,and he knew that if Daken still wasn’t answering he had to make his move. And now was his chance.

He walked into the school and looked around at both the students and the decor. It wasn’t the first time he’d been to one of the mutant schools but it was the first time in a very long time. _I can’t remember if I’ve been to this one or not. Was it still out in Westchester when I was here last?_ He watched as a gelatinous blob shaped person moved down the hall and wondered to himself if mutations were just getting wilder. 

_If I were Daken where would I be on a monday afternoon?_ The thought wandered through his head. The school was large with several different wings and buildings. _I’m in … ah, the central building, yep. This is where everyone lives and where the offices are._ Mostly students were in class it seemed, that was his guess from the low traffic in the halls and the time of day. He passed a mirror and turned to look at himself. _I’ve got your eyes sis. I miss you._ With an absent minded hand he drew his fingers back through his short blond hair.

After a little more wandering about both in his own mind, and in the school, he figured the place to start was Laura’s room. She’d given him basic directions and a number so he wasn’t totally lost, once he figured out where he was again at least. No one stopped him which was nice, strange, but nice all the same. He was pretty sure it would have been awkward to explain his reason for visiting. When he arrived at Laura’s door he gave a loud knock, hoping against hope that Daken would be there. 

There was knocking. Daken buried his face deeper into the fluffy pillow and tried to pretend he had not heard it. Laura had promised him that they’d have a room for him by the end of the week and it was about damn time. Daken just wanted his own private space again; where he could shut out the rest of the world and sleep at whatever time of the day he felt like sleeping. It knocked again. Knowing the people at the school, it was probably just someone who wanted to see Laura anyway and if he told them she wasn’t here, they’d leave him alone. With a tired sigh he called, “It’s open, Laura’s not here though.”

Only after he’d opened the door, stepped in, and closed it again did he speak, “Well that’s fine because I didn’t come here to see your sister. I think I’m not allowed to hit on her either. At least, I think that’d be a violation of the bro code.”

There was a soft _SNIKT_ sound and Daken just raised his hand, “Johnny, I adore you but I’ll shove these up your ass if you _ever_ flirt with my little sister.” It lacked any of the usual fire. The fact that he was curled up on the couch, shirtless and with messy hair, didn’t exactly make him any more intimidating either but Daken didn’t care. This was Johnny and he would not be intimidated if Daken showed up soaked in blood and foaming at the mouth.

“Do you have any idea of what you look like right now?” Johnny put a hand over his lips and shook his head. “You’re like a puppy.” 

“’m not a dog.” That did come out far more heated than intended. Daken sighed, rolled over and sat up with a grumpy expression but with words on his lips that might smooth over that bump, “You’re the golden retriever who's way too cute and loyal to be real.”

“Whoa!” With a few more surprised sounds Johnny crossed the distance and continued to stare, “You just changed it? You can do that?”

“Changed what?” Blinking he rubbed his hands through his messy hair and then stretched lazily. Daken had planned to sleep through the afternoon in hopes of changing schedule reducing the nightmares he was having. It had worked somewhat but the noise level in the school and now Johnny’s visit were making this difficult.

“The tattoo. It’s … wasn’t it like a pterodactyl? Now it’s like, flowers?” Johnny arched a brow and cocked his head.

“You're as bad as my preteen sister. It was a _Dragon,_ not a damn dinosaur.” Daken rolled his eyes and stood up, “It's a long story, I'll need coffee before telling that one.” 

There was a coffee maker next to the fridge and Laura's microwave. Turned out his sister really enjoyed microwaved popcorn. Daken went over into the little 'kitchen’ area and started to make coffee. It was not that the caffeine did anything for him, his metabolism processed it far too quickly, but the routine of it held significance in itself. Daken liked a certain degree of routine to go with his chaotic lifestyle. 

“The little one, that’s Gabby right?” 

“Yes and you obviously can't hit on her either but I don't think you'd even consider that.”

“Yeah, I’m hopeless but I’m not gross.” Johnny shrugged, “Laura is single right?”

“No, she's my sister. She's not single. Not for you.” Giving Johnny a look he added, “If you want some more fun with my family, feel free to do my Father. I don't care where he sticks it.”

“Gross.” The puckered look on his face said it all, “Come on, I was joking. Laura’s too young for me, and I wouldn’t date anyone in your family. That’d be rude.”

“He's back from the dead, so at least I'm not suggesting you go at it with a statue made of Adamantium.” Coming over he handed Johnny a cup of coffee and then sat down on the couch which was more of a bed right now. 

“Yeah I know.” With the mug in hand Johnny settled down as well. “Laura called me back. See I call my friends and then when they don’t answer for over a month I start looking for them, and now that I’ve got your sister’s number … well, she is a very helpful person.”

“Yes, I am a horrible friend. I thought we had established that by now?”

“Yeah and I thought we had established that I love you.” It was an impulsive choice but Johnny was done holding everything in. He set the mug down and put a hand on Daken’s shoulder, “You get that right? That you’re important to me? That I care about you? That you’re never going to be able to make me stop? It doesn’t matter how many calls you don’t answer man.”

The silence settled over them like a thick, heavy blanket on a hot summer night. Daken stared into his coffee as if it could answer his questions and tell him how to handle this conversation. Just like with the ‘therapy’ in Japan and the talk with Logan, Daken wasn’t going to get any real advice though. He’d have to make due with what little people skills he actually had.

“You know this isn’t about you, right?” Glancing at Johnny he made a face, “I treat everyone like they are going to either leave or stab me in the back.”

“I am aware that you have trust issues.” It wasn’t clear if Daken wanted space or if he needed a hug. Johnny figured he’d err on the side of affection. He slid his arm around Daken’s shoulders and waited. 

For a moment Daken considered leaning in and letting Johnny comfort him but there was a price for that and he wasn’t willing to pay it. Pulling back he shook his head, “Don’t. Not right now. I’m trying to be honest for once and that’s hard enough as is.” The situation brought attention to the fact that he wasn’t wearing a shirt and Daken searched between the pillows for the T-shirt with that ridiculous X-Men Logo on it. It would do. Pulling it on he pushed his hands through his hair and then shrugged, “I’ve not been particularly honest with you and I don’t even know where to start.”

The sunny disposition faltered. Johnny wasn’t sure if he’d made the wrong move or if things were just really that bad. “At the beginning? That’s, uh, normally a good place to start?”

“I am seventy two years old, Johnny. If I start at my beginning, we’ll be here for quite some time.” Daken sighed and leaned back, a contemplative expression on his features. “Let’s try starting with some confessions, might as well get that out of the way and see if you’d even want to hear more afterwards.” Their eyes met and he said, “The person who put an arrow through your leg during Norman’s Avengers bullshit – that was me.”

It took him back, a long way back. The world was so different then. Johnny licked his lips and furrowed his brow. It was a complicated mess. _Does it matter?_ He focused on Daken and met his gaze, “The stuff between us, everything that came _after_ the stupid arrow, was that all a lie?”

“Was supposed to be one, yeah.” Daken looked down and then shrugged, “But it wasn’t. I made Ben beat me up though, pheromones. I knew I had to give the impression of not being dangerous and what’s better than letting the big guy take out his anger issues on me? I used you. All four of you. I wanted out and you were a part of the plan but … I don’t know, it sort of turned on me and I got actually attached to you.”

“Come on, of course you did. I’m so charismatic I’m literally fire.” Someone else would have been mad. All Johnny cared about was that their friendship had always been real. “Don’t shoot me again though, that hurt okay?”

“In my defense, I aimed at the leg knowing it wouldn’t do too much damage. And I got Bullseye to shoot _me_ first so I had one of his arrows to use.” Daken felt himself relax just a little. Johnny wasn’t running – yet.

“Yeah that’s sort of even but really man, life lesson, don’t shoot your friends, or friends to be. That sort of thing isn’t nice.” _I can tell this isn’t over, not by a long shot._ “Come on man, just lay the rest of it on me. Whatever’s going on, whatever happened, we’ll figure it out.”

“This kind of conversation should only happen when there’s booze and cigarettes involved to be honest but I’ve got neither at hand.” What a shame. Considering how many emotional talks he was having lately, Daken figured he really needed to stock up on smokes and booze to survive the next one. “You ever wonder why I am the way I am? Ever question what could twist someone like I’m twisted?”

“I have plenty in my life to give me nightmares Daken. I know I don’t like the idea of people trying to get in my head and figure me out. If I want someone to know something I tell them.” Johnny shrugged, “I’ve always just tried to take you on the terms you give. Yeah, you’ve got a past, and yes I’m sure it’s dark, but what sort of dark, what sort of twisted …” Johnny shrugged. 

“You’re entirely too trusting and accepting, anyone ever tell you that? Some day that’s going to get you killed. Again.” That still sat with him in all the wrong ways. It was what threw him into the mess that had been LA. Johnny’s death and meeting Laura, being faced with the reality that the past didn’t have to define who he was.

“Last time, when you came to help me with the whole Death Seed crap, what happened afterwards …”

“Yeah.” It was easy to see that Daken was having a hard time with this. Johnny felt a little sick, disgusted with himself. “I thought … I thought you wanted it. If I’d known you weren’t really into it I would never have … Honest I’ve been worried that’s why you don’t answer my calls.”

That did make him look up and then shake his head, “No – fuck Johnny, I’m the one who initiated. If anyone has the right to be uncomfortable, it’s you.”

“You blew me it felt … it felt like you thought you owed me and I keep asking myself when that got to be the way things are between us. You’re my friend Daken.” Johnny shook his head and sighed, “I don’t want you to pay me for helping you, especially not like that.”

“It always was that way.” There was no point to lying anymore. Daken was _tired_ of lying and keeping a narrative going that wasn’t doing anyone any good. “The difference used to be that I liked it. Things haven’t been that simple in a while though. I was taught that everything has a price and affection? You pay for that with sex.”

The look on Johnny’s face was akin to horror. It took him a while to speak and when he did Johnny sounded disgusted, “You thought I expected that of you? Daken I … I’m not a rapist. I … Daken …”

“I _know_!” Daken tried to bite it back but he couldn’t help the little almost hysterical chuckle, “I know, Johnny. But I am. You aren’t the offender, you’re the victim here. I made you think I was giving freely when I don’t even know if I am capable of doing that!”

“Yeah that doesn’t make you the bad guy, that makes you the really confused guy and me the way less confused guy who should have been a better friend to you.” Johnny closed his eyes, “Shit, shit, shit, I so dropped the ball on this man.”

“How the fuck were you supposed to know?” Daken stood then, feeling frustrated and vulnerable at the same time. Not the best mix for staying composed. “You’re not a telepath and you don’t know what _he_ did to me. You don’t know anything about me because I didn’t let you know.”

Johnny stood up too and tried to figure out what to do with himself, “He? Daken man, you don’t have to tell me but I need you to know I don’t blame you okay? I’m not mad I’m just … I’m just really concerned.”

There was a pause as they just stood there looking at each other and Daken asked himself, not for the first time, how he had ever gotten so damn lucky to have Johnny put up with all of his bullshit. Reaching out slowly he stroked one freckled cheek and then chuckled, “Yeah, there are about a million reasons to be concerned about me but what happened with us isn’t one of them. I wanted to offer comfort and that was the only way I knew how, so I did it.”

With a bitter smile Johnny leaned into the touch and just let it be for a moment. It was nice to know that Daken didn’t hate him, that they were still friends. Eventually he had to speak though, “Hugs are free. I like them. Cuddles are great, I charge hugs for cuddles. I charge double for you, twice the hugs are needed.”

“What outrageous prices.” Daken chuckled and then took a step closer before wrapping his arms around Johnny. The warmth and that familiar scent were more than welcome. “Johnny … I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, let’s just be clear. Do you want to keep the sex going?” Johnny arched a brow.

That was direct. Daken leaned back so they could look at each properly but he didn’t break the hug, it was nice to be close. “No. I … honestly, I don’t know if I want any at all.” The words passed his lips and it almost felt like a weight was gone from his chest. Daken had thought it a few times but he had never _said_ it or really allowed himself to contemplate what that meant.

“Alright, I don’t like having sex with people unless they want to have sex, so no more sex.” There was some vigorous nodding and then Johnny hugged Daken tighter, “So long as you don’t disappear, you answer a few calls, and you let me hug you I’m happy.” His throat felt tight as he continued, “I don’t wanna lose you Daken.”

“You won’t.” Holding on tightly he closed his eyes and just breathed for a moment before adding softly, “I’m even playing nice with the X-Men now. Not like I’ve got anywhere to run off to.”

“People on the Avengers are pissed. Wanda’s not happy. Not sure if that means Pietro too but it doesn’t matter. They can’t touch you so long as you’re in good with the X-Men. Pryde’s in jail though, so who's running things? Who is it here that’s got your back?”

“Well, it’s not the leader who’s go my back. That’s for sure. Drake’s in charge right now and we aren’t exactly getting along that well. Not that I generally get along with people.”

“If he’s in charge why are you here? Doesn’t he hate you?”

“Bunch of X-Men are currently stuck in prison, my Father came back from the dead and my sister’s are stubborn. Besides, Drake’s got a savior complex. And aren’t I just the perfect little villain to save? Broken thing that I am, stuck on all the shit that’s been done to me ...”

“No, no you’re not.” Johnny frowned, “I know Drake. You might’ve forgot that. He and I have been in this business in the same city working alongside each other a long time. I’m one of the people he sent his ‘I’m gay’ text to okay?” He let that sink in before continuing, “Bobby Drake doesn’t want to save you any more than he wants to save ants. He does like looking cool, he is pretty full of himself, but he’s not into that whole savoir thing, I think having Frost in his head and having dated Mystique cured him of any confusion there. People have to help themselves or nothing you do matters.”

“He dated Raven?” There was a look of mild confusion and then utter disgust, “For fucks sake, is there anyone who hasn’t stuck their dick in her? Now I really feel dirty and I didn’t even have sex with her.” Shaking his head he made a face, “Yeah I know he doesn’t want to save me. It’s just easier to pretend that’s the case than accept he’s that good of a person. Is that just a universal trait of people with elemental powers?”

The flattery touched Johnny and he glowed with it, “Yeah, we are cut from a different cloth you know.”

“Now you are just looking for me to stroke your ego.” Daken chuckled and then nudged Johnny to sit back down so that he could cuddled close. “I’m too tired for that and you’ll be playing pillow for me, no arguments. You said you liked cuddling.”

“I love cuddling.” Johnny settled down and smiled at Daken, “Come here. You aren’t the only one who’s tired and lonely.” The warmth and weight of Daken’s head on his lap put a smile on his face. _We’ve got this, whatever comes our way, we’ve got this._


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonding with a Father whom he has tried to kill multiple times over the years and who just so happens to have actually killed him, isn’t easy. Daken makes it work though and because he’s already at it, he tries dealing with the tension between Bobby and himself too. How successful either of these attempts are though, that’s a different story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, PTSD, Trauma, Triggers, Sexual Themes, Discussion of Sexuality
> 
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The only time being a parent had ever worked out for him was with Laura. She wasn’t quite his daughter but she was his in every way that actually counted. The things the weapon X program had done to her had twisted her up inside and left her numb. Laura had been molded by sick fucks for just over a decade. Laura had grown up bereft of basic human rights. She had to essentially start from scratch in terms of developing a sense of self. 

Daken on the other hand was more like him. Both of them grew up relatively normal before the horror began. Neither of them knew where the lies ended and the truth began. Neither of them had the luxury of knowing what was them and what was conditioning. As much as Logan knew he had been crafted and manipulated he knew that Daken had lived through worse, far worse. It had been worse than Logan had ever imagined though, what his son had admitted to him that first night back at the school had not stopped haunting him.

When Daken stopped by his office and asked him to spar Logan was not only surprised but completely speechless for almost a full thirty seconds. Drake was running the school and the teams with Rogue and Jubes’ help. The three of them were doing a fine job which meant Logan had plenty of time to read, to catch up. To get to know Gabby, and take up as much of Laura’s time as she would allow. It also meant he had no reason to say no to Daken, despite the little pull of suspicion he felt. 

The settings he’d programed into the danger room were perhaps a little cliché but Logan was a creature of habit. If Daken had expected something else he was a fool. The grass was green, the sakura was in full bloom, and back to the west a creek babbled. Jean had told him once that the reason men tended to favor full contact sports was to create an excuse to touch each other. She’d gone on about complex rituals and the perception of manhood, and all that. Logan had listened because he always listened to her. Still Logan hadn’t bought into it till that very moment. Though Daken had laid him out flat, though they were hitting each other, kicking, and grappling there had been no claws. 

“I’m old.” He waved a hand at Daken and started to push himself back up, “I’m not broken. I can get up.”

Daken rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, “You aren’t even that old yet. The other Logan is running around with wrinkles and white hair, until you get there you aren’t old.”

It had been a random decision to ask Logan to spar. Daken had not planned it, he wasn’t sure why he decided on it but he did know he wasn’t regretting it. They had managed to stay civil and even made a few jokes at each other. No violence, no cruelty, no blood drawn. Just the kind of sparing he might indulge in with Laura. It was progress. Maybe they wouldn’t end up trying to kill each other again.

While brushing himself off Logan asked, “You met him hu? You like that old sack o’ shit?”

“Yes, I’ve met him and I had exactly one conversation with him. My opinion isn’t really formed at this point. He did show up for the funeral though so he gets some points for that.”

“Laura told me about that.” Logan shifted and met his son’s gaze, “I don’t think I know you at all.”

“No, you don’t. But you had the right idea at the time. I was out of control. Violent, self destructive, desperate.” Daken looked away and shrugged, “Not saying that any of that has changed now but I generally have a better grip on it now than I did before.”

“How different would things’ve played out if I had taken a breath and treated you like my son instead of a time bomb? Eh?” Logan shook his head, “I keep thinkin’ about it. Before I died I didn’t think there was any hope, now I look at you and I know I was wrong.” 

There was a long pause as Daken let the words stand between them. It felt bittersweet. All of this did. The fact that Logan was alive, them talking, sparing, existing in the same space without violence – it was all bittersweet.

“I made you do it, you know. I _wanted_ it.”

“I could’a walked away.” With a sigh Logan continued to meet his son’s gaze, “What I did is on me. I made peace with a lot before I died but that, what I did to you, that wasn’t one o’ them.”

“I wouldn’t be here now if you hadn’t done it. How do they say again … _everything happens for a reason?_ Something like that. It’s not entirely wrong.”

“If I hadn’t left you in that hotel maybe neither o’ us would’a had to die.” Logan spread his hands out and shook his head again. “Don’t make excuses for me. I know you ain’t perfect, neither am I. What I’m tryin’ to say is you’ve proven to me that the fault was never with you, it was what was done to you and the fact that I’m too stupid and pig headed to see the truth when it counts.”

“Not arguing with that but you had a good reason to leave. I was … what I did ...” Daken stopped talking and just shook his head.

“Yeah that freaked me out, I ran. Thing is, I knew what that freak looked like. I knew enough. If I had thought with my head instead o’ my ass this could be different. Life wouldn’t be perfect, it never is, but -” Logan stopped talking too. There was more he wanted to say but he didn’t feel he could speak those words. 

“But?” Daken cocked his head, “But you could have tried saving me from myself sooner? Please don’t insult me with being hung up on what _could have been._ All you are really saying is that what you have now isn’t enough.”

“You’re an asshole you know that?” Logan sighed and took several steps closer. The confrontation was easy, natural, familiar. “What I’m sayin’ to you is that you deserved better from me. You are enough Daken. You were enough then, I just couldn’t see it.”

“I deserved better from life but that’s not how it works. Yeah, you fucked up. So did I. This blaming game has gotten old and I guess I am not angry enough anymore to keep playing it. I just want - … I want to put it behind me. All of it. If this is supposed to work out between us, I need you to let go of your guilt. Not now, not tomorrow, but with time.”

“God damn it son.” Logan closed his eyes and tried to get the lump in his throat to clear out. He shook his head again, pinched the bridge of his nose. After all of that he had to cough and clear his throat properly. And the words still didn’t want to come. Logan was having none of that. He was afraid, he was guilt stricken, but he was not a complete coward. Logan looked into his son’s eyes and saw himself reflected there, “I love you.”

The silence that followed was thick and heavy with expectation. Daken just stood there, shoulders tense, fingers digging into the flesh of his palms as he tried to figure out how to respond to that. Gabby liked to say it and Laura would sometimes but he never said it back. When they were in Japan, he had told Laura he loved both of them but in words and in context that were different from this. This was too close to things he didn’t want to remember and it made the feeling of panic start to creep up, like a hand wrapping around his throat and a weight pushing on his chest. _Breath. There’s no reason to freak out. You are fine. Breath._

“You don’t gotta say it back.” Logan reached out and put a hand on Daken’s shoulder to break him out of whatever had settled on him. “Focus on my voice okay? Daken, you’re safe.” _Tell him the truth._ “You’re in the school. He can’t touch you.” 

Daken wasn’t sure why he did it but he wrapped his arms around Logan and clung to him. This was insane considering what happened the last time anything like gentle touch had passed between them but somehow _that_ didn’t happen. Daken wondered if he was too clear headed to be fooled into thinking of Romulus. The difference in scent told him they weren’t the same person. Logan smelled of pine trees, wood and smoke. Romulus’ scent was that of rust, clove and sandalwood. They weren’t worlds apart but the subtle difference stood out to him clearly.

“I got you.” Logan’s hands move up and down Daken’s back. “M’not him. S’not your fault.” Thinking of all the pain his son had endured, of everything that he’d lived through, of who he was becoming, it made it hard to speak. Logan held on, and treasured the moment, knowing all too well how short lived something like this could be. “Got you.”

It took some time but eventually Daken felt like he could breathe normally again and he didn’t even have the urge to pull away. Logan wasn’t Romulus. Similar facial features and expressions did not make them the same. The resemblance would always sit wrong with him but Daken felt secure in the knowledge that they just weren’t the same for the first time. Taking a deep breath he leaned back a little to look at his Father, “I used to tell him that. Over and over like a fucking prayer, like it would change something. Make it all okay somehow if he just said it back. The things we tell ourselves to survive really are quite stupid.”

“It says a lot about who you are on the inside Daken.” There was an urge to kiss Daken’s brow but Logan restrained himself. It wasn’t something he’d earned. “That what you wanted more than anything was to be loved.” _Tell him. You can’t do this and keep that lie. You cannot do this to him._

“I was a child … isn’t love what every child wants from their caregivers? It was all I wanted. And he knew it so he used it to twist me even further and now I can’t fucking hear someone say it without freaking out.”

“I won’t say it again. You know by now how I feel.” Logan reached up and stroked Daken’s cheek. “Gonna change the topic, lighten the mood.” He drew back but held onto Daken’s left hand, “This is different ain’t it?”

“The tattoo? Yeah. I’ve become quite good at losing that arm and when I regrew it this time, I decided I needed some change in my life. Turns out my little sister is smarter than me when it comes to coping.”

“Gabby’s sharp as whip.” Getting to know Gabby was one of the brightest spots in Logan’s life this time around. Her sense of humor was a bit odd but she was a good kid, smart, and insightful. With a short nod he examined the bold black lines. “Are they sakura?”

“Yeah, figured why the hell not go for something pretty?” Daken shrugged.

“You let Gabby help pick it out didn’t you?” With a smile he let go of Daken and then met his gaze. _You’re a liar Logan._ His expression changed, like a cloud passing over the sun. Logan cleared his throat and shook his head. “This wasn’t a shit show. Maybe we’ll do it again.” _Coward, yellow bellied, cold blooded bastard._

Daken could tell. The subtle shifts in scent were obvious but he didn’t think drawing attention to whatever demons Logan was struggling with would help anyone. It intrigued him but boundaries were important and if Daken expected his to be respected than he needed to respect Logan’s too. “Yeah, I’ll be trying to get some time with everyone in. Got to get to know these people if I am supposed to work with them.” Shrugging he followed and then took the left turn as they stepped into the hallways, “’m going to make use of that pool Laura mentioned. See you at dinner, apparently Gabby has plans to make family dinner a thing.”

“Figure out how to work with the person you can’t stand and everything else’ll feel easy.” With that Logan disappeared down the hall. 

The person he couldn’t stand? Daken frowned and contemplated that for a moment before reaching into his pocket for his phone.

\- You busy _*snowflake emoji*_ ?

Depends on what you want _*cat emoji*_

\- _*eggplant emoji* *splash emoji*_

Frost all the way off -

\- Come on, you asked for that one. I just want to spar, honest.

Be there in 15 -

[[Image here]](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6a/91/94/6a9194eb1201707dc12bfb98249c9c24.jpg)

“Lasker look, I have to go.” Bobby put his phone back in his pocket and smiled. “You did well, you’re an asset, but I don’t know if I can trust you. Under our current circumstances I can’t afford to turn away help but I also can’t afford to trust.” He shrugged and started for the door of Kitty’s office. 

“Where are you going?” Simon arched a brow and glanced at the phone in Bobby’s hand. “You got that look, was that Daken again?” Last time they had talked Daken had started texting Bobby and there had been way too much grinning from the other elemental. Simon had tried to recapture Bobby’s attention but it had been a fruitless attempt.

Without looking directly at Lasker Bobby walked past him. “Team building exercise.” There was no reaction to the accusation of the source of the texts. With a shrug Bobby opened the door.

“Hey,” Simon stood up and followed, getting close to Bobby, “Don’t just walk out on me. We’ve been talking and if you’re sparing with the stab happy mohawk, you should let me tag along.”

It was more than a little frustrating. Still Bobby kept his expression light fairly light, “Lasker, if I wanted you to join I’d have asked you. Now make like an icecube in an oven.”

 _What is it about that guy that gets you all worked up?_ Simon sighed and asked, “Melt?”

“Disappear, come on get out of my temporary office.” 

Bobby watched Lasker walk away, mildly irritated at the strange interest the firestarter showed in him but far more concerned with what he was going to wear. _Just get to the locker room. Whatever’s in there’ll be fine._ As he rushed down the hall Bobby didn’t let himself think about why he was answering Daken’s summons, or why he was excited. All he let himself focus on was the fact that the school wasn’t on fire. Walters had given him tentatively good news, and the school wasn’t on fire. That was a lot better than bad. The clothes in his locker were clean, which was a miracle. Dark blue shorts and a tank top, super basic, which was all he needed. 

When he stepped into the Danger Room there was birdsong and pretty pink blossoms on the cherry trees. Bobby blinked a few times and then caught sight of shirtless-glistening-god Daken. It wasn’t really fair. He’d already been working out and it showed. Bobby wasn’t sure how he was supposed to do anything but stare. “So you’re in the mood to get iced?”

Daken looked away from the cherry tree and turned towards Drake. The scent of that firestarter brat was lingering on Bobby and that was annoying but it was also none of his business so Daken just said, “Sir, yes sir!” In a playful and teasing tone.

“Don’t get kinky on me.” Bobby rolled his head about and shook his arms. “This is Logan’s program. Did he set this up for you?”

“No sex jokes, no calling you sir … you really aren’t as fun as they say.” Daken rolled his eyes and then shrugged, “Just finished sparing with him. Apparently I did not have enough though and would like some more.”

Bobby continued to move through a few warm up stretches, “You can make the jokes, but I’m going to shoot you down every time.” _Why aren’t you a mess of nerves after seeing Logan? You two aren’t supposed to get along?_

“Why though? It’s not like I am seriously trying to get into your pants. You never flirted just for the fun of it? Oh, wait, right … closeted for way too long. See, that’s even more reason to enjoy it.”

“If we had anything in common besides the Death Seed and a propensity for punching problems I’d consider it.” With a few hops Bobby nodded, “So, powers? No powers?”

Instead of saying anything Daken shifted his stance, smirked and popped his claws. This was going to be way more interesting than with Logan. That had been for the purpose of spending time together and not making it too awkward. This was a whole different story.

“Oh yeah, super frosty.” The ice enveloped him and Bobby wondered how it was possible for anyone to look scarier than Logan with claws. Daken’s were long, dark and the angle was all wrong. The two from the back of the hand, one from the wrists configuration was close enough to what he was used to seeing with Logan to really feel just off. As Daken moved forward Bobby flipped over the top of him, aided by a small ice platform that just sort of burst forth from the ground at the right time.

The way Drake moved was something Daken could have watched for hours. He had that realization back during the hospital thing but it hit him again right then. Fluid, natural, elegant. As easy as breathing. Almost like Laura, like him. Except that Drake’s body language didn’t speak of violence and death doing it. _Yes, stare at the Omega level X-Men instead of focusing on the fight. That’s a brilliant idea, idiot._

Turning just in time he smirked when Drake blocked his next attack. “You’ve been doing this since you were twelve, right?”

“Yeah. I was the team’s runt.” With a shrug he went in for a sweep on Daken’s legs and had to chuckle when the move was dodged and followed up with a series of jabs. It was easy to avoid but it had a rhythm to it he found engaging. 

“First of all -” Daken shifted subtly and the next jab came from below instead of straight, “What the actual fuck is a twelve year old doing on a fighting squad?” Bobby had avoided the jabs but the kick landed and he was going in for a follow up, “Second, same. ‘cept I’m twice your age.”

“Was supposed to just be training.” Bobby managed to shrug as he slid away from Daken. The attack was being pressed and now he had to try. Mostly it wasn’t difficult. He could easily move in ways Daken could not, and trip him if needed. “But I snuck along.”

“Ah, so you just _wanted_ some trauma to spice up life? I see.” Daken would have said more if Drake hadn’t just iced the floor. It took him by surprise so much that he instinctively grabbed onto the closest solid thing which was Drake himself and then they were both on the floor. Daken lied there, staring up into the blue eyes as he tried to decide if this was a moment to laugh about or get upset. Or both.

Being an ice elf on top of someone wasn’t normally sexy. Bobby was surprised to find he’d instinctively gone for the pin as they fell. He had Daken’s hands high above his head and was straddling his hips firmly. Bobby’s knees were anchored to the ice sheet below them. Since he was embarrassed and uncomfortable due to their suddenly intimate postiontion Bobby quipped, “Should’a warned you. I’ve been known to sweep men right off their feet.”

Instinct had him go pliant. At least until the cold started creeping in. Ice underneath him, ice above him. Cold hands holding his in place. The memory of the world covered in snow, of a cabin in Canada, of a fire dying as hands held him down, bent over the kitchen table -the easy pliancy turned into a tense stiffness.

“You okay?” Against what some would say would be better judgment Bobby shook off the ice and melted the sheet under Daken. Being a guy that turned into and made ice he’d gotten used to recognizing the different effects it could have on people. Bobby also knew a freaked out look when he saw it. It wasn’t even the first time he’d seen that look in Daken’s eyes. His hands let got of Daken’s wrists slowly, “Hey, look at me.”

It took a second but then Daken sat up, rubbing absently at his wrists and looking everywhere but at Bobby. Another flashback. Another near panic attack. Blinking a few times he felt his lips twitch and then started to chuckle, “Fuck, this is getting ridiculous now. Sorry.”

“Did you know another ice elemental?” It seemed like the best question to ask. Bobby was squatting down near Daken, concern far more clear on his face than he would have liked it to be. 

“No, just not a fan of the cold.” Daken tugged the hair-tie out, allowing the silky black strands to fall down his back freely before pushing both hands through it. His hair was getting longer and he hadn’t yet grown annoyed enough to get it cut. Looking at Drake he shrugged, “It didn’t bother me while I was halfway to insane with the Seed eating me up from the inside. Should have considered that’s not the case anymore.”

“If you don’t want to spare with me again, I won’t blame you. I can promise not to ice pin you in the future though.” Bobby sighed, “I’m sorry man.”

“Not your fault, Snowflake. It’s been a stressful … lifetime really but mostly the last six weeks.” There was a long pause after those words and then Daken asked, “This is a school, so is there a … counselor? That’s a thing these days, isn’t it?” Daken had no interest in discussing his life with anyone but it was becoming clear that he needed new ways to cope. The old ones weren’t an option anymore or had just stopped working.

“Rogue’s back and has been talking to a few kids here and there. Mostly Paige Guthrie handles that sort of thing though. She’s here three days a week.” Bobby stood up and thought for a moment, “I can get you some time with either of them if that’s what you’re asking.”

“I know who Rogue is but the other name I am not familiar with. I’d prefer the option to talk to Miss Guthrie, I suppose.” Daken made a face and chuckled at himself, “Fucking hell … what’s next? I find the perfect woman, marry and make two kids? This is ridiculous.”

“Ew, ‘make’?” Bobby’s face shriveled up in a show emotion. “When you say it like that it sounds clinical and way grosser than straight sex actually is, and it’s already pretty gross.”

“Sex is gross, period. Ever thought about how disturbing it actually is because oh it’s possibly the most disgusting thing humans do and enjoy for some reason.” Daken said it and then paused. First that talk with Johnny, now this. He normally kept this kind of thought to himself but apparently his filter needed replacing. Trying to make it seem less serious he added, “All these body fluids and potential dangers and the smells – be glad you don’t have enhanced senses.”

“I didn’t even have to go there to find it gross.” Bobby shrugged, “Feels weird saying this but what the heck? For me it was always just that I felt wrong. I felt gross, like there was something wrong with me. I felt bad for not being able to want these obviously great beautiful women the way they deserved to be wanted. It all just felt _wrong_.”

Daken turned his head to look at Drake in surprised wonder which turned into a look of hesitant fondness without him even realizing it. “Kinda just going through the motions, waiting for it to end hu?”

It felt good, the way Daken looked at him, there was understanding in that gaze. It wasn’t something he’d ever felt in relation to this part of himself. “Yeah. Hoping I’d at least made them feel good. I didn’t get a lot of complaints so I think I did okay.” He shrugged, “Mostly I was just … yeah, what you said, waiting for it to be over.”

The sudden and nearly overwhelming urge to lean in and kiss Bobby surprised him. Daken pushed it aside and instead just asked, “How about now? Any better with men?”

That made him blush. Bobby scratched the back of his neck and looked down. The intensity in Daken’s gaze was almost frightening. It didn’t make him want to run and hide though. It was more like the feeling of watching a horror movie, that consensual and gleeful dreading anticipation. “Yeah, what I’ve experienced so far is … it’s a lot better. It makes me feel less … less broken you know?”

There was some understanding and that gave Daken an odd sense of relief but they weren’t the same. _Thankfully_. Daken did not wish this on anyone. “Yeah, think that’s pretty normal and right. Sorry for ruining your relationship. Good thing that one wasn’t the only gay man on earth.”

Bobby looked up and felt his face trying to decide if he should frown or smile. The expression he had couldn’t have been attractive, but that wasn’t important. “You … you mean it. I … I don’t even know what to do with that. I … Daken … thanks. Thank you for apologising it … Frost my flakes but I feel like a tool. You know I -” He licked his lips and tried to meet Daken’s gaze, “- I didn’t give you a chance. A lot of that was the Death Seed I’m … let’s just say the thing has my number. But still I was horrible to you and I think I really freaked you out with the kiss. I’m sorry for that.”

Daken had a feeling that this was not at all what Logan had meant but that it was a whole lot more effective than kicking each others ass would have been. Reaching over he brushed some of these curls back out of Bobby’s face and then smiled, “Accepted. Now, since I already interrupted your day … ever had dango? I am craving some right now.”

“Dango?” Bobby cocked his head to the side and surprised himself. The familiar touch hadn’t bothered him at all. _Why are you so pretty Daken? Who signed off on this? It’s really frustrating that you’re so, so pretty._

“Rice candy. It’s sticky and sweet, and the best thing ever invented.” Daken stood up and offered a hand, “Shower first and then I’ll make us some. Stocked the pantry here with the things I need for it because it’s basically criminal not to have rice flour at hand.”

“Will you teach me?” Bobby took the offered hand and tried not to blush. Daken wasn’t flirting with him. Even if Daken wasn’t a horrible idea he was way, way out of Bobby’s league and had just basically said he thought sex was gross. _So he’s not flirting with you. He’s being friendly. Even if he was flirting with you what in the hell would you do with him Drake? You can’t tie a guy like Daken up and smother him with kisses. That’s just not going to happen._

 _You are kind of cute when you blush._ Daken smiled and nodded, “Yeah, it’s fun and easy. Meet you in the kitchen in twenty?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Click [here](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/6a/91/94/6a9194eb1201707dc12bfb98249c9c24.jpg) for the image of the text messages.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken spends some time with the blonde sibling and Quentin is pretty sure he is fucked. Except not really which is sort of the problem.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Alcohol, Drug mention, Telepathy, Hormonal Young Adults, Sibling bonding
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

“Oh man.” Zach couldn’t help it. He was high on sugar and new clothes, and even the sight of the school wasn’t enough to bring him down. The series of spontaneous dance moves performed to a song only he could hear in his heart was joyous and silly. It ended with a dab because being ironic was at the core of everything that was Amp. “Today was lit fam!”

The kid was cute. Quentin couldn’t deny that a happy teenage boy made him smile. It would have been nice to have a group of people who’d spend an entire day indulging him at that age. Quentin wasn’t jealous though, he mostly felt content to be a part of this mess of a trip. “You, young man, had way too much sugar.”

“Says the guy who ate just as much ice cream and then whined about the calories.” Daken rolled his eyes at both of them but there was a small smile on his lips and affection in these blue eyes.

“I hate working out okay? Not everyone gets to look like a supermodel and eat whatever they want.”

“You wouldn’t look bad with a little extra to hold onto Quire.” Jimmy shrugged.

“Yeah Jimmy’s right.” Zach looked over at Quentin and blushed, “You’re not hard to look at as it is either.”

“Bit young for me, kid.” Quentin chuckled and fluffed that dark hair, “I know I could pass myself off as underage if I wanted but seriously, way too young.”

“Not that I don’t agree but does that mean I need to look at people in their seventies now? That’s … well, good thing I am a forever bachelor.”

Without looking at Daken Zach gave Quentin a once over, “I’ll be legal in a few years. You’re like a fine wine Quentin, better with age. I can wait for you.”

“I will have known you as a young teenager, Zach. It’s never happening.” Shaking his head he looked at the two brothers, “I’m out now, enough excitement for a day. See you three.” Waving one hand he turned and walked off down the hall.

“What? Come on that’s weak.” Zach sighed and shook his head. “It’s not like he was my teacher or something, it wouldn’t be like me getting all hot and bothered over Drake.” It was clear that Zach was feeling crestfallen and rejected. 

Jimmy didn’t have anything to say. It was an odd situation, one of the many he had no frame of reference for. 

“Zach.” Daken looked down at the kid and gave him a smile, “Quire sees you as a kid right now. That’s how it should be. Who knows what happens in a few years? For now, go make your haul video and forget about the pink haired punk.”

Though it wasn’t what he wanted to hear, it was better than being told there was no hope. After another moment of pouting Zach perked up, “You better leave comments on my instagram man. I’m gonna do a lookbook too. So yeah, keep your eyes peeled.” Turning to Jimmy, Zach gave him a once over, “You know, you’re not hard to look at either, you should give me a follow.” Without waiting for an answer Zach gave Daken the finger guns and winked a farewell before he ran off with four or more bags of clothes hanging from his arms.

“That was weird.” It was dark in the city and oddly quiet in the school. They’d been out for hours. Jimmy couldn’t wrap his mind around any the day’s events. “Did you really think that was a good time?”

Pulling out a pack of smokes from the pocket of his jacket Daken shrugged, “It wasn’t bad but mostly I did it because it makes the kid smile. All that neglect made it easy to cheer him up with just providing things for him. When you had nothing and then get the opportunity to have everything you want … it’s better than drugs.”

They stepped outside into the cool breeze of an early summer night and Daken passed a smoke over to his little brother. Laura always gave him that _look_ for smoking but Jimmy agreed on it having it’s benefits. There was something soothing about the act.

It was only after both of them had lit up and taken a few puffs that Jimmy asked, “So you care about Zach a lot. I’ve been told the basic story before. Sounds like you’re really going out of your way to make things right. Kid adores you. Not sure if you’ve noticed that.”

“I know. What I don’t know is if he adores me because of what I did or despite of what I did.”

“Both.” Jimmy grinned a little, “Sounds like you took a kid that felt like he was just getting lost again and you made him feel special. You did a lot of shitty things around that, and your motivation was selfish, but it doesn’t change the outcome for him.”

“I took a vulnerable minor and trained him like a puppy. You don’t _train_ a human being.” Daken made a face and looked up at the sky above them. It was a quiet, cool night. Summer was coming closer but for now spring hadn’t quite let go yet. “No amount of clothing and games is ever going to make up for what I did.”

“Do you want a hair shirt and a flogger?” There was a hint of amusement in his words but coupled with the eye roll it was mostly derisive in tone, “The self flagellation, does that run in the family?”

“No, it’s a habit that comes with abuse and _that_ runs in the family.” Daken shrugged and sipped from his bottle of coke.

“You know the first thing I remember is pain. I know I’ve already hurt people here. I know it. None of it is clear. My memories are fine now but everything before the pain …” Jimmy shrugged. 

“Some people are going to tell you that you need to remember. That you can only heal or only be yourself if you know what happened to you.” Daken put the smoke out and looked directly at his little brother, “These people aren’t the ones who will have to live through remembering though. That’s going to be all on you and quite frankly, if you feel good right now – forget about it. The past doesn’t define you. There is no reason to remember if you aren’t desperate to fill the gaps. You’ll live a long, long time Jimmy and there will be plenty of pain coming your way, you don’t need to try to find more in your past.”

“Yeah that works to a point.” Jimmy shook his head and took another drag, “What’s my favorite color? Do I like tv? Sports?” He turned to face his brother, “Did I have family? Was there someone I loved?” With an resigned look he concluded, “I’m tired of being an empty book.”

“You’re not an empty book. You are clinging to what you don’t know about who you were but what you should focus on is who you _are_. Right now. Right here. The pages are only empty because you are afraid to write something new on them.”

“Maybe you can try to stop living through me hu?” With the cigarette between his fingers, Jimmy pointed at Daken with the glowing tip, “I get it, there’s a lot you’d like to forget and to you forgetting all the stuff in between seems like a fair price. Great. That’s good for you. It’s not what I want. I want to know. If it hurts, if it’s horrible, if I was a monster, whatever, I don’t care. I _want_ to know.”

Daken sighed and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the wall. Jimmy had a point. This was likely just his own desire to forget. Memory loss was something Daken had experience with and while the last time had been anything but pleasant, it still sounded tempting in theory. “You know, I did forget for a while. Bullet through the skull, a special one made of a certain metal which interacts badly with our healing factors. I didn’t remember anything, not even my own name. Xavier kindly fixed the issue with a bit of unwanted violation. If you really want to _fix_ your memory issues, talk to Quire. He might be able to pull it off.”

“I don’t remember my name Daken. Laura, Jean, Bobby, Warren, and Hank claim that they met me before I came here. They say they recognized me. _They_ say my name is Jimmy Hudson. _They_ say my dad is Logan Howlett. _They_ _say_. I don’t know. I don’t know my ass from a hole in the ground. I look in the mirror and there’s a stranger looking back at me.” Jimmy sighed and put the cigarette out against the bottom of his boot, “I’ll talk to Quire but I don’t think he can help me. Jeanie couldn’t.” _Or maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe …_

“As far as heritage goes, you are definitely somehow related to Logan. Your scent, your looks … your mutation. But yeah, talk to him. I can’t stand the punk any more than he can stand me but he is good. And he’s not even fully back to normal yet.”

“I might wait for someone else.” Jimmy shrugged, “Quire gives me a weird sort of feeling. Not bad just … weird.”

“Personally, I prefer absolutely no one inside my head but I’d rather have another guy do it than some clumsy teenage girl.”

Daken wasn’t backing down so Jimmy just came out with it, “Quire’s cute. I don’t know if I want a guy I think is cute fussing around in my head.” Jimmy shrugged. 

Now that was interesting. Daken smirked and cocked his head, “The little flirting got to you huh? Think he’s mostly messing around but who knows … maybe ask him out for dinner.”

“Maybe.” Jimmy shrugged. “Maybe there are other ways to get my memory back. Maybe I've gotta ask him.” Jimmy shook his head, “Enough about that. How long are you staying Daken?”

“People keep asking me that like I have a plan.” Rolling his eyes he shrugged at Jimmy, “I don’t know. I am not committing to anything. I’ll stay until I’ve had enough or I get kicked out.”

“People keep asking because we want to know if it's okay to love you.” His expression was flat, he wasn't mad or frustrated, he was starting a fact, “I like you and it'd be nice to know if I should let myself get attached.”

There was a short pause and then he reached out, messing up that perfectly styled blonde hair. “Even if I leave for a bit, I’ll be back. Not going to turn my back on my family.”

“Hey don’t screw with the hair.” Jimmy was fast to smooth it over, “I’ll start messing with yours if this is gonna be a regular thing.”

“You’re too short to reach.” Daken smirked, clearly teasing now. There was a spark in his eyes which spoke of mischief and affection.

“Wow.” There was a moment of silence before Jimmy continued, “You really want me to screw with your hair. At least that’s the only conclusion I can come to.”

“You’re free to try, _little_ brother.” Daken knew that if the kid was anything like him, he’d bite. A challenge was hard to resist.

With that Jimmy grinned. It wouldn’t be easy. Daken did have height on him, there was no doubt about that, but he could level the playing field if he was smart about this. It was with that in mind that he dove for Daken’s legs.

Daken laughed and side stepped to avoid Jimmy going for his legs. What he had not expected was for the clever little shit to follow it up with grabbing for his jacket. It threw him off balance enough to hold onto Jimmy and then they were both on the ground, in the grass, staring at each other. “Hey -”

Talking was not part of the mission. Jimmy reached up and ruffled Daken’s mohawk.

“Oh you little -” Daken pushed and they wrangled for a moment before he got his hands into the blonde hair again to mess it up, “Never touch the hair!”

Jimmy laughed as he did his best to move from side to side, his knees squeezing Daken’s waist to keep him down. Another trick was allowing himself to have metal lacing his bones, it gave him weight. Daken was agile though and there was not much he could do save dip, weave, doge, and continue to fluff and tangle Daken’s sable locks. “I win! Admit it!”

“Making yourself heavy is playing dirty!” Daken laughed and then flopped back to just lied there, “I approve of any and all dirty play. So fine, you win. But in return I demand a proper sparring match tomorrow.”

With a satisfied huff Jimmy rolled off of Daken and shrugged. “I’ll win that too. If there’s time before I head out you’ve got it.” His eyes looked up through the budding trees. Some of them had full leaves, some were still waking up. There were few stars to be seen. “You wanna try to get drunk?”

“That’s the best idea I heard all year.” Sitting up Daken carded his fingers through his messy hair and chuckled, “Yeah, come on. Let me corrupt you a little with underage drinking. Got to be a good big brother.” Grinning he stood up and offered a hand to Jimmy.

“You’re late for that.” Jimmy took the offered had and came up to his feet with little effort. “I’ve been to Madripoor, and I’ve got hair on my face.”

“You could look like an underage twink and they wouldn’t stop you in Madripoor. Place ain’t exactly meant for superheroes and good people.” Daken shrugged, “My room, I’ve got something to drink. Not like anyone would dare break into my room to steal some booze.”

“You’ve got your own room.” That made him chuckle again, “So you are setting down roots. You sticking around for the girls or is something else going on?”

“Yeah, there is also you.” Daken said it seriously and gave Jimmy a look.

* * *

Daken’s room was sparse. There was a bathroom, and a window. Out in the living space there was mini fridge with a counter and a sink next to it. The bed was partitioned off from the door with a minimalist screen in black and grey. The walls were mostly bare, but that hardly mattered, there was a very comfortable if low profile looking sofa in easy view, and two large stacks of books. The couch were where they had settled down.

“You should get some shelves.” Jimmy eyed the books on the floor.

Arching a brow Daken gave his little brother a look, “What for? The books? I’ve got shelves in Los Angeles, you know, where I actually live. No need to settle in here like I’m staying forever.” The idea of giving in and making this a real _home_ kind of bothered him. Daken knew that would equal admitting he wanted to stay, wanted to be here and have a family. It tasted like defeat.

“It’s not a bad sort of place. There’s more than Laura and Gabby here too. Zach’s a nice kid, even if he does gossip too much and talks about Drake’s dating profiles like they’re something out of legend.” Jimmy shrugged and took another drink. He was three bottles in. 

“Snowflakes dating profiles? Hasn’t talked to me about these. Huh, Bobby has dating profiles? Guess that makes some sense, guy is solo thanks to me.” Daken had stopped counting after the fourth beer and the first three glasses of scotch.

“You were looking at watches when Zach showed me Drake’s Grindr. It’s funny. Bobby, young kid Bobby, he’s still hung up on Romeo, waiting on him. Bit of a flirt but I can’t imagine that kid making a Grindr. Drake though, he’s got Grinder, Cupid, and half a dozen others if Zach’s right. He didn’t show me more than a few profile pictures. Which, Drake has a lot of them up, and a full bio, guy is serious about not being solo.” Jimmy shook his head. 

“Huh …” Making a thoughtful sound Daken poured himself another glass and then said, “Does that even work? Thought all these dating sites were really just hook up places for meaningless sex.”

“I don’t know what they’re for.” Jimmy looked over at Daken and then caught a whiff of something, “Maybe you’d get a better idea of what he was up to if you looked at his profiles.”

“Now why would I do that? Most days the little Snowflake barely tolerates me, it’s a mutual thing.”

The odd scent was still there, and now there was a weird thing that Daken was doing with his lips. When coupled with the nickname, something Jimmy hadn’t noticed Daken doing for others, it supported his haunch. “You say that, but I’m not so sure. He seemed friendly with you, smiled nice and big, this morning. In fact you smiled right back and didn’t even say anything rude to him. You sure you don’t wanna take a look at his profiles?”

“Tell you what -” Daken emptied his glass and then continued, “If you go see Quire for your memory problem, I’ll check out Bobby’s dating profile.” _You’re too obvious Daken. No one should notice you feel kind of nice around Drake this easily._

That was too good a deal to pass up. Daken was tipping his hand quite a bit and Jimmy understood what that meant. He smiled a little and let their shoulders brush. “Let’s knock these back and then I swing by Quire’s, give you a little private time with Drake’s pictures.”

“The hell you think ‘m going to do? Jerk off? I have more class than that.” Still, his cheeks colored a little and he nodded in agreement.

* * *

The world could kiss his ass. 

Quentin lied on the floor of his bedroom, the music turned up and one window opened to let the smoke of his cigarette escape easier. It was getting late and in a little while he’d have to turn down the volume but for now? For now he was going to drown out the voices with the pleasant sound of Florence Welch singing. 

The shopping trip had been fun, more so than expected. Quentin had figured having to hang out with _Daken_ would annoy him but the damned asshole wasn't so bad and Blondie had been amusing. The best part was getting out of the school though and using the chance to meet up with his on and off dealer.

Quentin looked at the box next to him and tried to decide if he wanted to go for it tonight or keep it around for the inevitable emergency. Both had ups and downs. _Could drink to drown the noise. Maybe binge ..._

A knock interrupted his thoughts and Quentin sighed, “Come in, Blondie.”

It wasn’t the sight Jimmy had expected. Despite the rough housing and beers he was far more put together than Quire was at the moment, sprawled as he was on the floor. The music was far too loud and put a sort of pinched look on his face. After the door closed Jimmy shifted his weight and cleared his throat, “You mind turning that down?”

_//And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't_  
_So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road_  
_And I'm ready to suffer and I'm ready to hope_  
_It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat//_

Quentin sighed softly, he had plans for the night and they included loud music and no one wanting to talk to him. The volume dial on the player turned without him even looking. Small tasks were possible now but mostly he still had no real control over his telekinetic ability yet again.

“Sensitive hearing must suck.”

“Not on most days.” Though Jimmy was the one who had come knocking he didn’t supply or volunteer anything. It had been his intention, but now that he was here the will was hard to find. “You disappeared as soon as we got back to the school.”

“Telepathy _does_ suck most days. Leaving the school means leaving the one place where people know that loud thinking is annoying. Imagine it like it would be if you went into a perfumery.”

“Just walking past a Bath and Body Works is annoying. So what? You’ve got a headache now?” Jimmy arched a brow.

“Yes and like -” Quentin frowned trying to think of a way to explain, “You know that feeling after a long workout when every muscle feels sore? I bet that only lasts about two seconds for Sniktlings but it is the best comparison I can come up with.”

There was a confused look on Jimmy’s face, “What? What did you call me?”

“Sniktling. Logan, Laura, Gabby, Daken, you - it's getting a bit overwhelming on the stabby feral side now. There are so many of you running about that you need a collective term.”

“That … that is a weird word.” Jimmy shifted again and just watched Quire.

“You all make the same sound with your claws.” Quentin shrugged and then motioned, “Come on, sit down. Have a soda, enjoy a snack. I can tell you want something but you're not comfortable asking yet, so let's work on that.”

It was not an easy choice. In the end the fact that he’d made sort of a deal, a dare, with Daken won out. Jimmy sat down and grabbed a soda. “So you don’t just know why I’m here?”

“I could know but I try to be mindful of people's privacy. As long as you don't _scream_ your thoughts at me, I am not listening in actively. Right now I'm trying to blend everyone out.” Quentin shrugged and opened a bag of chips.

“I heard that you used to be more powerful.” Jimmy cocked his head and arched a brow. Telepaths were dangerous, he was more sure of that than he own name. Jimmy wasn’t certain yet, but after the day of shopping and the conversation so far he was beginning to think that Quire was nothing at all like Miss Sinister and far more like Jean; reasonably safe. 

“Now answering that properly would just make me sound like a narcissist so I'll stick to yes. Yes, I am currently recovering from an encounter with the Phoenix. I'm normally a powerful telekinetic as well as a telepath.”

“Omega level? That’s what I heard.” After a long drink he looked at Quire and noticed, not for the first time, that the young man had rather startlingly pretty blue eyes. 

“Yes, all potential hosts are Omega Level Mutants. It's like a requirement to even have any hope of surviving that experience.”

Jimmy cocked his head, “Host?” 

“The Phoenix force is a cosmic entity. It brings death to start rebirth. It has existed for as long as anything has existed at all. And every once in a while it decides to bond with a living creature of some kind. Mutants, aliens - doesn't matter.”

“That sounds … that sounds less than fun for everyone involved.” 

“It's … well it just is.” Quentin shrugged. He didn't feel comfortable enough with Jimmy, or anyone other than Bobby to be exact, to talk about the Phoenix problem. “Mostly it's a question of how stable the host is. It's not _that_ bad.”

“If you say so.” Though Jimmy had no reason to second guess it he doubted that it was all that simple, or half so pleasant. The fact that Quire was having to recover from ‘a run in’ with the damned thing was proof enough that it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. It was also none of his business. “I came here to ask for help.”

“I'm all ears, tell me what you need.” Quentin picked up a chocolate bar and cocked his head, clearly curious.

It wasn’t that easy but Jimmy didn’t balk or back down. He took a moment to think of how to phrase it and then said simply, “I’m not from this universe, and I don’t remember anything before coming here. I don’t know how it happened. Hank talks about an interdimensional event but I don’t understand it. The first thing I remember is pain, and that’s all I remember till I escaped and ran into the Xmen.”

Quentin had known about the being from another universe thing but the rest was news. He chewed his snack, sipped from the can of soda and then finally nodded, “You would like your memories back, yes?”

“I’d like to know if it’s possible. I’ve heard it should be, that if I hadn’t run from Miss Sinister she would have helped me. I think it’s a bunch of horse shit. That doesn’t mean the memories aren’t there.”

“That is indeed bullshit. That women has as much morality in her as there is sense to having an ice rink in the dessert.” Quentin shook his head and sighed, “Okay so, theoretically it should be possible to get memories back. Amnesia is the result of trauma, it's when your brain goes _oh hell no_ and decides to shut it all down. Unless a telepath has actually erased memories from your brain, they are definitely there and given time they'd come back on their own.”

Quentin looked at the young man and then said in an unusually serious tone, “Amnesia happens for a reason, James. It's a defense mechanism meant to protect you from things you're not ready to deal with. Forcing you to remember early could have serious consequences.”

“Don’t call me James. I’m Jimmy.” Even as he spoke Jimmy considered what Quire had said, “I don’t have to remember right now, I just … I want to know if I can. Daken thinks I should forget about it, just make a new life, but I know that can’t work. I _want_ to know, but I don’t know if it even matters, if it’s even possible.”

“I wouldn't trust myself with something this delicate just now but -” Quentin took a deep breath and then nodded, “I _can_ take a look and see if there was tampering with your memories it if they are all intact. I can even make sure they are protected from being messed with.”

“What would I owe you for it?” Jimmy wasn’t sure what he had to pay with but he was sure he could come up with something. 

“Nothing.” Quentin frowned, “You've been hanging out too much with Daken. The whole _everything has a price_ bullshit is usually his line of thought.”

“Or I just assume that your time and effort is valuable and deserves compensation.” An arched brow accompanied the rather dry and annoyed words. 

“Now that's just silly. Don't you know that I'm nothing but an incredibly annoying brat?!” Quentin rolled his eyes, “I don't want payment. This is, to me, something any telepath should be offering to do for free. We're privileged to have an ability that is so versatile and helpful. It's a question of morality to offer help.”

 _What do I even say to that?_ Jimmy frowned, thought it over and then just shrugged.“Whatever help you can give, you’ll have to deal with having my gratitude.” 

“I think I can live with that.” Chuckling he shifted and then reached out, only stopping just shy of touching when he remembered that they weren't close, “May I? It's easier to do with contact.”

“Yeah just keep it above the waist, I haven’t bought you dinner yet.”

Quentin chuckled but he said seriously, “Sex is not necessary for this. Thankfully.” Cupping Jimmy's head in his hands he closed his eyes and slowly reached into that unfamiliar mind.

It was not like what Jimmy remembered of the painful interactions with Miss Sinister. It was different from the times Jean had touched his mind. This was instantly soothing. Jimmy found himself leaning into the hands on the sides of his face and relaxing despite his reservations. “So, is that you? What I’m feeling?”

_[Yes, that's me. Try to think actively instead of talking while I'm in your mind. Spoken words can be distracting.]_

_[Like this? And what do I do? Do I think something?]_

_[Yes, like that. Here let me …]_ Quentin pulled Jimmy into his own mind. They found themselves inside a shack. It was filled with clutter and and the air seemed hot and humid. _[Interesting choice of comfort zone. Do you remember what this place is?]_

Jimmy’s eyes were closed but he was looking around a shed or garage or something. There was a lot of random stuff on a lot of closely packed shelves. There was also a derelict boat sitting in the middle of the space. Jimmy wasn’t really sure what any of this was about. How he could be sitting on Quire’s floor with his eyes closed and also standing here in just a pair of jeans, barefoot, staring at an old boat. _[Not a clue.]_ His eyes flickered over a box but he didn’t reach for it. _[I’ve never been here.]_

 _[Interesting. That means your memories are intact but you're suppressing them. It's clearly trauma affecting you. I can see hints of tampering though too. It looks like … oh.]_ Quentin frowned deeply and tried to soothe Jimmy further before he continued, _[I can see two different signs of tampering. One I recognize as Miss Sinister but the other … it reminds me of Jean Grey but it's sort of wrong. They didn't mess with memories though … Jimmy they were trying to groom you.]_

It shocked him and it made him defensive, _[You’re wrong, Jean would never do anything like that to me. Your powers are messed up or you’re seeing it wrong, or you’re just wong.]_

_[It's not the young Jean. Her telepathic fingerprint is different and it's not the adult either. She's dead but also had the Phoenix taint her touch. This is … I've never seen anything like it. But it feels very similar to Jean.]_

Jimmy took a deep breath and settled himself. It shouldn’t have affected him so deeply, but his trust and friendship with the Blue team was the basis for his reality. If that had been a lie it would have meant that his entire life was just a sick twisted joke. Jimmy looked around himself again and sighed, _[So it must’ve been from my reality? Is that it?]_

_[Yes. It's definitely not your friend who did this. I can promise you that. I see a hint of Jeannie too but she was only here to communicate as far as I can tell. No tampering, no messing around. I'm looking for your memory right now … you've buried them deep.]_

_[Did I? I don’t remember it.]_ Jimmy shrugged and looked at the boat, then up at the walls. There were several sets of shark jaws up on the walls, and a mounted fish. It was strange, all the neatly coiled cords, hose, and extension cords, the three tall lockers, this was all so well actualized, all the way down to the tools on the wall. Jimmy guessed that this had to be a real place he had been. Some place he had liked. His eyes moved back to the boat and he walked around it, looking for a name, but there was none. The paque on the back was tarnished and the words were worn off. Jimmy reached out and touched it, curious and afraid. The sensation of Quire’s mind within his own supported him then and Jimmy could feel the warm hands on his skin again. It was soothing and he did not resist it.

 _[I'm here. You're okay Jimmy.]_ The fear was easy to feel and while Quentin was pulling the memories up and putting them inside a shielded container he also soothed Jimmy as best as he could.

 _[It, ah, it feels good.]_ Jimmy reached out in the real world took hold of Quire’s arms around the elbows. His thumbs rocking back and forth in a soothing sort of motion. 

_[I'm trying to be gentle. It's still harder than I'd like it to be but I'm getting there.]_ The touch did things to him that Quentin hoped Jimmy wouldn't smell. _You're touch starved, Quire. You need to do something about that._

_[You haven't hurt me. Does it normally hurt?]_

_[Not at all. The worst that should happen is a mild headache afterwards. That’s only with inexperienced telepaths though. If something hurts it means they did things they shouldn’t have done.]_

Though he was confused and more than a little afraid of what he might remember at some point Jimmy wasn’t actively terrified, he didn’t feel the need to protect himself, to get away, or to fight. Quire’s presence was soothing and comfortable. _[Are you doing that? Making me feel easy and relaxed?]_

 _[Not directly. I'm only encouraging your mind to stay calm.]_ The box was filled, locked and hidden away. Quentin gently pulled them back to reality. “So, there has been some messing around in your head but the memories are there.”

Jimmy frowned. They were touching, and now that seemed a bit awkward, and that warm sensation was fading. Their faces were quite near to each other and Jimmy couldn’t help noticing how thick Quire’s lashes were. Jimmy’s hands moved and took hold of Quire’s from where they had been resting against the sides of his face, “Thanks. It’s good to know that they’re there at least. How do I get them back?”

They were holding hands. Quentin tried to pretend his stomach didn’t do a flip but it had. He was just barely getting to know Jimmy but damn if he hadn’t made an impression already. _Deep breath, play it cool. No need to freak the guy out._

“Come see me once a week. We'll work on slowly pulling stuff out of that box and letting you remember. Normally you should just wait for it to happen naturally but you're as damned stubborn as Logan himself.” Letting go he leaned back and opened another can of coke.

“That isn’t really possible.” Jimmy shrugged. He leaned back a bit and wondered at the change in the general feeling in the room. It had been quite sudden and Jimmy wasn’t sure what had caused it or how to take it. “I have commitments.”

“Figured you’d say that.” Quentin sighed and then shrugged, “Take care of whatever is going on right now and then come back here. I do need time to work through this so … a week at least.”

Jimmy stood up and nodded, “At least a week.” It was still there, that feeling. Jimmy wasn’t sure if it showed on his face, chances were it didn’t. He’d been told more than once that he had a face for poker. The truth was he didn’t even try, it was just his natural resting state. “It’s a date.”

“A week long date? Now that’s something to boast about for a first date.”

It took the words a moment to sink in and then Jimmy was smirking. “Oh you wanna have me to yourself for an entire week. That’s gonna be harder to swing but for you Pinkie I think I can make it happen.” Jimmy turned to leave with a smirk on his face. 

All Quentin managed was to blush and stare after Jimmy even as the door had already closed. No one had managed to make him speechless in ages. _Wow. Fuck. I’m screwed aren’t I? Hot blonde with the prettiest smile and the ability to shut me up. Yeah, I am so fucked._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus! Click [HERE](http://sand3-tumbls.tumblr.com/post/173170262602) for an amazing and beautiful little comic to go with Chapter 21! Thanks again, Sand3.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last thing that Daken expected was to become anyone’s confidant and yet here he is, being trusted with the kind of secret he wished he didn’t have to know. Daken decides to take Bobby along as he handles the issue. After all, shouldn’t the current acting headmaster be aware of the trouble in his school?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Incest, Implied/Referenced Murder, Criminal Activities
> 
> **Note:** None of the warnings apply to any main characters of the story in this case. Don't go running screaming.

“Uh hu, I made sure Logan got all the letters. You know how he is though. Yeah coming back from the dead doesn’t change much. I don’t think he’s gonna write everyone back but I’ll make sure and forward whatever he does write to you. And thanks Jennifer. You always come through. No no, you deserve the praise. Right, and you’ll get more when this is over. Yeah, you too, bye.” Bobby looked up from Kitty Pryde’s desk and met Lasker’s gaze. “She feels good about the case.”

Relief spread over his face. “Oh that’s great news.” Lasker nodded as Drake came around the desk. “Sounds like she’s gonna have them out of there soon.”

It was moments like this that Bobby couldn’t help remembering who this guy was. He was part of why Kitty, Rachel, Storm, Piotr, and Kurt locked up. Still Simon had quickly become his friend and Bobby found it hard to blame him for what he had done under Mesmero’s sway. He pulled his phone out and sent a quick text to Rogue letting her know what was going on. “You sound excited.”

“Why shouldn’t I be?”

Bobby narrowed his eyes and forced a little sternness into his voice, “You’re aware you’re still a probationary member? You were part of why they’re locked up.”

The look on Simon’s face hid nothing. He was hurt by Bobby’s accusation, “Man, come on. I’ve jumped through every hoop, I’ve stood by your side.”

“You did that for Mesmero too. You just don’t get it Lasker.”

“Simon, and come one man. You know, maybe you wouldn’t be so suspicious if you spent a little more time with me?” Though the timing was not the best it was clear that Simon was going to test his luck.

Bobby blinked and just stared for a moment, “What are you suggesting?”

With a charming smile, Simon looked at Drake, “Come out to dinner with me, we can catch a show.”

_This is it hu? Lasker is trying to date me? He’s attractive and nice but … that’s way too much conflict of interest. I like him okay but that’s just not gonna happen._ Bobby’s last several dates hadn’t gone anywhere, prompting him to take a bit of a break. The closest thing to an enjoyable date had been the late night right with Daken, which was weird. “Lasker look -”

“Really call me Simon, please. Aren’t we friends Bobby?” He reached out a put a hand on Drake’s arm.

“Okay, Simon.” The touch was innocent enough so Bobby didn’t care to shake Lasker off, not yet at least. “I’m flattered, really. You’re right we should spend some time together but I don’t think dinner is-”

“Hey,” Quentin had skipped knocking because he knew Bobby was trying to get rid of an unwanted guest, “You got a minute _Headmaster_?” The tone in his voice was smooth and low, almost seductive. It had the wanted effect.

Simon flushed and looked between the two of them. _Are they … oh man. I thought that Daken guy was a problem but maybe I’m wrong_. “Uh, yeah okay, nevermind. I’ll see you tomorrow Drake.” Getting up he waved and left the office.

“That worked better than expected.”

“Wow.” Bobby shook his head and sighed, “You’d think he’d have a better opinion of me with as much as he apparently likes me.” Bobby rolled his eyes and sighed, “So are you here as my White Knight, or do you need something Quen?”

“Just figured you might want to get out of here for lunch?” They sometimes did that, eat lunch together or breakfast.

“Oh, yeah, that’d be arctic.” Bobby looked around and then nodded, “Yeah I don’t have anything I have to do right this second. Let’s get pizza and gossip.”

* * *

The door closed behind him softly and Daken took several steps down the hallway before pulling a window open and taking the shortcut out. He was only on the second floor so it wasn't even painful to land on the lawn. The fresh air and the quietness of the night helped soothe him a little almost instantly. It was past midnight and the school seemed almost universally asleep. Only a handful of windows were still lit up by light. Daken noted that Drake's was one of those still lit and after a moment he pulled his phone out.

> _\- You up?_

As he waited for the reply, Daken lit up a smoke and tried to banish the images from his mind but he knew that they would haunt him for weeks, months even.

Bobby's phone whined and vibrated. He almost ignored it but curiosity demanded he check. _What could Daken even want?_

> _Yeah -_

Brief seemed like the best choice. Bobby wasn't sure why Daken kept engaging him. The bigger mystery was why Bobby kept answering. It wasn’t as if Daken made it easy, the accusation behind his eyes was always lurking.

> _\- I'm heading out, want to come?_
> 
> _Where are you going? -_

Bobby looked down at himself. He was was naked. The acid wash jeans he’d worn were on the floor. His mind went to the next item of clothing he would need, a shirt. Maybe the cosmic kitty V neck. _I_ _would need a sweater too_ , Bobby mused as he started moving.

> _\- Queens, Woodhaven. Let’s call it business._
> 
> _Where do I meet you? -_

Another text was tapped out. This one was sent to Rogue. As much as Bobby hated it, if something happened to him, or something happened at the school she needed to know where the heck he was. Bobby was on his feet pulling on underwear and pants as he sent that second message. The X-files continued to play on his television as he pulled the shirt he wanted from the closet. 

> _\- Garage_

Daken put his smoke out and then turned to head for the garage. As expected there was a motorcycle there and it was clearly Logan’s. No one could blame him for wanting to mess with his old man.

The wait was only ten minutes or so. Bobby came into the garage and sighed, “I can already tell by the look on your face that we’re taking Logan’s bike, and I just want you to know that’s the surest way to piss him off.”

“Good. Wouldn’t want _Daddy_ to start thinking my life’s mission isn’t being a pain in his ass anymore.” Daken cocked his head and then chuckled, “I didn’t think you’d agree. Glad I was wrong.”

It was hard to know what to do with that. Rather than speak, Bobby went to the wall and grabbed his helmet. It was snow themed like so many things he owned. With a second helmet for Daken in hand Bobby crossed the distance between them. “Here.”

“We’re are both as close to immortal as one can be and you’re worried about wearing a helmet?” Daken arched a brow but gave in with a sigh, “Fine, let’s play by the rules then.”

“Getting pulled over is awkward at best. It’s the middle of the night, man. We don’t need the extra trouble.” Bobby looked at the bike and then back at Daken, “I take it you’re driving?”

“Maybe I’ll let you next time.” Daken smirked, put the helmet on and settled on the bike.

_Drake this is a bad idea._ Bobby put his helmet on and mounted the bike behind Daken after hitting the button for the garage door. There was nothing for it but to put his arms around Daken’s waist. _What are you doing Drake? Why are you going?_ “You aren’t going to tell me any more about where we’re going and why are you?” His voice was muffled behind the helmet. 

Daken reached for Bobby’s hands, guiding him to hold on tighter, “No, it would ruin the surprise. Just relax and enjoy the thrill of it. I promise I’m not intending to harm you.”

“You can’t hurt me Daken. Any time I want I can clean your clock.” The motor growled to life and Bobby felt his stomach flip. He was pressed against Daken’s backside and it was affecting him a great deal more than he wanted it to. There was no hiding it either, so Bobby didn’t try. He knew how it worked with feral mutants, even Hank had enhanced senses. The whole lot of them were worse than empaths, reading people through the scent of their hormones, their feelings. 

There was nothing to say to that. Daken rechecked that Bobby was holding on tightly and then drove out of the garage and down the road. Within minutes they were working their way through the night time traffic of New York's streets. It was easier at night, less busy, but there was always traffic. Daken was used to navigating through crowded streets though, a bike and no care for laws made that even easier. All the while he paid attention to Drake’s scent, waiting for fear which never came. A bit of nervousness when he took a curve just so but not fear. It intrigued him.

By the time Daken pulled up onto the street they were supposed to reach, Bobby seemed to have relaxed against his back. It was an odd feeling but Daken found that he didn’t mind. There was something about being trusted that made him feel a bit better about the world.

“Here we are.” Taking the helmet off he looked back at Bobby, “The house across there, number five-o-two.” The memory of big hazel eyes looking up at him with such intention fear in them made Daken’s stomach turn. Daken had expected everything but opening his door past curfew and finding a nervous, scared student looking up at him. The way the kid had stumbled over words and kept saying sorry was what made him let her in and sit her down to talk.

Bobby pulled off his helmet and sat up properly. He’d started to doze off on the ride. Once he had settled in not even the fear of being left behind due to some elaborate prank worried Bobby. Finding his way home was just a matter of pillaring up, taking the lay of the land, and heading back to the park. Not only that, the vibration of the bike, the enclosed feeling from the helmet, and the warmth of Daken in his arms had lulled Bobby into a state of deep relaxation. All of that was washed away in the moment they stopped. Bobby’s mind was working on unraveling the mystery behind this trip, “Why are we in a white picket fence suburban neighborhood in the middle of the night?”

Daken ignored the question and instead asked, “Have you ever broken into someone’s house before?”

It wasn’t the sort of question people normally asked Bobby, and it was certainly not the sort of thing he liked to admit. “What do you define as ‘breaking in’?”

“Entering property that doesn’t belong to you through other means than ringing the doorbell and getting permission. That would be the definition I believe.”

“Yeah.” Bobby got off the bike, took off his helmet, and made a face, “Breaking down a door or wall used to be sort of an X-Factor thing.”

“That’s a bit … loud.” Daken looked rather amused as he got off the bike. “Let me show you how to do it properly, Snowflake. Might just come in handy one day.”

Bobby didn’t move, “How about you explain _why_ we’re breaking and entering.” 

“One of your students came to me this evening. Young girl, very soft spoken and sweet. That’s the first impression anyway because turns out she’s just scared and traumatized. And that there is her house. Parents aren’t home though, apparently Daddy takes Mommy out every Friday.”

“Wait … what the frozen hell is going on?” Bobby put a hand on Daken’s arm and cocked his head, “Are you telling me one of our students is being abused?”

“Daddy likes them small, cute and scared.” The tone in Daken’s voice, the expression that came over his face, it didn’t quite fit with the phrasing. It was clear to Bobby that Daken wanted to seem detached but righteously angry. Somehow Bobby saw right through it. There was something in the way Daken held himself, in the delivery that screamed out, ‘Not again, not on my watch.’

Bobby decided that in that moment the whys and whos didn’t matter. He was going to see this through. “Alright Ignacio Del Rio, lead on.”

Without another word Daken lead them around to the backyard and climbed over the fence there. “Middle class suburban home … with an open window on the second floor. I swear you Americans are so predictable.”

“Why are you looking at me like that? I’ve never owned a home and left the window open.” Bobby held up his hands. 

“You’re American though.” Daken approached the house and motioned, “Come on, no ice. Gonna have to do this the old fashioned way, I’ll lift you up onto the porch’s roof and you’ll be so kind as to open the door for me.”

It was a bit odd but Bobby didn’t ask why Daken was going about it this way. Bobby just came close and allowed himself to be boosted up. The screen popped out of the window easily and was just as easily replaced once he was on the inside. Bobby made his way down the stairs, careful to be quiet and grateful that it seemed this family didn’t have a sophisticated home security system. He pulled his sweater sleeve over his hand as he unlocked the door and turned the knob, “Presto!”

“Not bad, Snowflake. Not bad.” Daken stepped into the house and took a deep breath. There was an uncomfortable stench of cleaning products. As if someone had been scrubbing the place obsessively. “We’re looking for Daddy’s study. Apparently he likes to film and photograph his … actions. And as much as I’d like to just murder him, I know that’s not the best option.”

“I think I passed it.” Bobby motioned and brought Daken with him through the living room. The house was dark, and so was the study, but they could make out a wide desk and plush leather chair in the space easily. There was a window letting in just enough light to navigate by. The view was the perfectly manicured lawn of the backyard. Bobby had been trying not to think about the reality of their mission. It was deeply disturbing. Now that they were in this study and the next task was to find the evidence Bobby felt his stomach twist.

“Isabella told me that she thinks he’s been touching other girls like he touches her. With the upcoming summer break … well, she didn’t want to go home.” Daken pulled out two pairs of gloves and passed one to Bobby, “Don’t leave prints behind. Check the bookcase while I see if I can’t get into the computer.”

Once the gloves were on Bobby nodded. He wasn’t quite sure what they were looking for but he went to the bookshelf and started searching. He pulled out books, paying attention to weight and the movement of the pages. After a few moments his finger tips glided over an old book with embossed gold leaf, _Beauty in Common Things_ by A.C. Chambers. Bobby pulled out the old worn hard back and frowed. The weight felt off, and the pages didn’t move the way he expected. He opened the cover and tried to flip through it but was instead greeted with the sight of a hollowed pit where the botanical drawings should have been. Right through the core of the book. It wasn’t especially neat either, clearly a self made hidden storage space. Resting within it was an external hard drive. 

“Daken, I think I’ve found it.”

“Good, bring it over here.”

Daken took the drive from Bobby and connected it to the laptop. “Fuckers password was his daughter’s name. Talk about obsession.” Shaking his head he opened the drive folder and tensed up. The preview icons, the names of files, of sub-folders – they all said everything there was to say.

“Oh fuck I’m gonna be sick.” Bobby turned away and dropped the ‘book’. His stomach turned. 

“You might want to step out of the room then because I’m going to play one of these. We need to be sure.”

Bobby shook his head, “No, I’m good.” After a deep breath he looked back at Daken and motioned with his head, “Let me do it.”

“Why? Feeling like you’ve got something to prove? You don’t. You came with me without asking too many questions and you are clearly disgusted.”

“You shouldn’t have to see it.” With a sigh Bobby came closer and put a hand on Daken’s arm. “Just let me handle it.”

“Are you trying to … _protect_ me? Why?” Daken looked up with a genuinely confused expression.

“Because, at some point, you became my friend.” Bobby shook his head. “I’ve seen you triggered, and I don’t want that to happen to you.”

There was a pause and then Daken stood up, “The fact that you understand this upsets me means I’m losing my edge. I don’t …. people don’t get to know this about me.”

“Daken just go stand on the other side of the desk, this isn’t going to take long.” Bobby waited till Daken moved. Then he muted the speakers and opened one of the files. The color drained from his face and he dry heaved despite himself. 

“Turn it off, that’s enough.” Daken waited until Bobby had closed the video and then he was back by his side and gently stroking his cheek, “It’s okay. She’s never going to go through that again. We’ll make sure of that.”

The touch was soothing. Bobby leaned into it and nodded. “Yeah. I know a few people we can give this to, people who know how to take monsters like this down.”

“Good, I had counted on that. Far as I’m concerned, this filth should just die but I know that wouldn’t give closure to most normal people.” Daken almost said more but instead he froze, cocked his head to the side and then motioned, “Fuck, they just drove into the garage, we have to get out.”

It was time to act quickly. Bobby employed ice minions to set the room back the way it had been as he shoved the hard drive into his sweater. The minions would melt in the bathtub when they’d finished their task. They left the small golems to their work, leaving the study, one behind the other. Even he could hear the car doors open and close. Bobby’s heart was in his stomach as Daken grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the back door. Bobby didn’t resist, he held on and didn’t even look back. The door closed behind them and he thought he heard a man’s voice call out that he would be in his study. They made their way back around the front of the house, and didn’t let go of each other till it was time to jump the fence. Bobby caught a glimpse of Daken’s expression and wished that there was time to stop. 

Instead they put their helmets on in silence and mounted the bike. Bobby was certain that Daken could hear his heart racing. Certain that the fear, disgust, and excitement had to be rolling off of him in thick waves. Bobby held on to Daken as the bike roared to life. For once he was happy that the school wasn’t back out in Winchester. It would be about an hour or so drive back to the school as it was, an hour of silence and solitude with his thoughts. 

Daken drove a little more mindful on the way back. Both of them were deeply unsettled and he didn’t want either of them getting sick and throwing up. There was also the fact, one which Daken would deny, that Bobby holding onto him helped. It seemed to soothe some of that sick feeling inside his stomach.

Parking the bike in the garage he took the helmet off and then asked, “You okay, Snowflake?”

“Yeah.” Bobby sat up and took off his helmet. He didn’t dismount right away, “You?”

“No. I’m not okay.” Daken chuckled, “Doesn’t matter though.” Getting off the bike he stretched and then took their helmets back to the rack on the wall. “’m not sure why I took you along. It just seemed right you know with you being the current headmaster and all …”

“We’re friends Daken.” Bobby got off the bike and looked the other man in the eyes. “You aren’t losing your edge you’re just not treating me like an enemy, because I’m not.” He licked his lips shook his head. “I don’t really understand it but it’s the only explanation for any of this.”

There was a long moment of silence as they stood there and looked at each other. Something had just changed. Something that Daken was not sure he had words for. “How did we go from attempted murder to breaking into a pedophiles home together? I honestly don’t have a clue.”

“Yeah, I don’t know either.” Bobby closed a good portion of the distance between them, “I think it has something to do with me deciding to trust you. After I saw what you did on the field with us … I guess I decided you aren’t the monster you try to sell yourself as.”

“I never tried to sell myself as a _monster_. I just don’t hide that I have done, and will continue to do, ‘bad’ things.” Looking at Bobby he took a deep breath and then asked, “Wanna watch some stupid movie and eat too many sweets with me? I think this evening requires intense coping.”

Bobby thought about it for a moment and decided that as it was Friday and he could more than afford to be awake several more hours. “Your place?”

“Yeah, I’ve got snacks and a list of movies Gabby thinks I _must_ see.”

“Okay that right there, you should’ve lead with that.” Bobby took his phone out and sent Rogue a text as well as one to Murdock. That number was seldom used, but he felt he was the best fit for this situation. “Lead on.”

* * *

Fifteen minutes later Daken wondered what the hell he had been thinking inviting Bobby over for a movie night. That was the kind of thing that would have people whispering even more rumors about them. And his sisters were going to smell that Bobby had been with him. In his room, on his couch, wrapped in his blanket. _Yeah but why do I care? I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to explain myself to anyone anymore._

Bobby sat on Daken’s sofa with a lopsided grin, snuggling in. “Okay, but these things aren’t from the school. This blanket is so soft, and your little sofa … this is some Tony Stark style stuff.”

“I’m spoiled. This is handwoven cashmere, expensive but worth every cent.” Daken settled down next to Bobby and handed off the bottle of coke. “There are two things one should never take a shortcuts on; food and comfort.”

“I want underwear made from this.” Bobby took the coke and smiled at Daken. Rather than wait for about that last comment any answer that odd statement could have inspired Bobby asked, “So what are we watching? Something light hearted I hope?”

“Well …” Daken leaned forward and pulled a little notebook from the drawer on his coffee table. It had Stitch printed on it and when he noticed Bobby’s look, Daken shrugged, “It’s Gabby’s. She already made me watch that movie … three times. Apparently I am supposed to learn a lesson from it.” Opening the notebook he flipped through it and then said, “Moana? I have no idea what it is but Gabby wrote next to it that’s it awesome.”

“It is. I could watch Moana a million times.” Bobby nodded his head and grinned. “Also Gabby has incredible taste. Also also I cannot imagine you watching Disney movies, this is blowing my mind.”

“When your baby sisters asks you to watch something, you watch it.” Daken smiled as he turned on the television and set up the movie.

“She isn’t a baby, she’s a preteen with a superhero name.” There was a wide grin on his face as Bobby snuggled deeper into the luxuriously soft and buttery feel of the red blanket. “Honey Badger don’t got time for your baby crap.”

“She’ll be my baby sister when she’s a hundred years old. Now shh, movie time.” Turning it on Daken leaned back and sipped from his drink. This was one way to cope after a day like this.

As the movie started Bobby felt himself relaxing. The things he had seen, the realization that one of the children here, someone he knew, Isabella, had suffered such horrible things, it still threatened to make him sick. There would be work tomorrow, paperwork, and phone calls, and therapy. Right now there was just this light hearted and heart wrenching movie, and good company. Bobby finished his soda before Maui came on screen, chuckled at the silly chicken and found himself leaning towards Daken. The last thing he remembered before dozing off was how warm Daken was. Without a leather jacket between them the heat was pronounced and strangely soothing.

For a good minute Daken did not dare move an inch. Until now, the only person to fall asleep on him like this had been Gabby. This was different and he wasn’t quite sure what to do about it. So all Daken did was turn down the volume a little and relax back in the sofa, letting Bobby rest against him.

Eventually Daken had to move though. When he did Bobby made a soft sound and then began to mumble under his breath. After a moment the mumbling became clearer, but only after Bobby had sleepily snuggled closer, “... n’Stitch ‘cause she never wants to lose you, she never wants Bubbles to take you. You're her family, n’ even if that family’s a little broken, it's still good. S’that what she wants - wants you to see it.”

Daken blinked as the words sunk in and then he just wrapped his arms around Bobby. “Shh, sleep Snowflake. Just sleep …” Without second guessing himself Daken used just a hint of pheromones to coax Bobby to stay relaxed and fall back asleep. A night on the couch hadn’t been part of the plan but now? Now it sounded like the best idea he’d had in a long time. _Gabby … you silly girl. No one’s taking me. No one._

“I like you.” One arm wrapped around Daken. It was clear from how Bobby’s words continued to be mushy and slurred that he was only half awake at best. “Gabby’s’right. You’re good. Good friend. Gonna keep you.”

Daken said nothing. All he did was hold Bobby and let himself relax. In the morning they’d have to deal with the awkwardness of this situation but for now Daken did not care. For now he was going to savor this moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends. Nonisartblog drew some fanart for this chapter. It is super cute and warmed our hearts. [Here's a link.](https://nonisartblog.tumblr.com/post/174467680069/i-did-some-art-for-the-lovely-nausiwindstrider-and) Please show them some love.


	27. Chapter 27

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken finds himself falling back into old habits; playing games with people he's meant to work with, people who trust him. Sometimes it's easier to be someone else, to leave behind all pretenses and barriers. Against all the other things Daken is struggling with one little lie hardly even registers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Dating Apps, Fake Identity, Deception, Fraud, Old Habits Die Hard, Masturbation, Research, Asexuality, Sexual Identity Issues, Self-loathing
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

On the long list of regretful choices that he had made over the past seventy years, this ranked quite low. On the shorter list of recent regretful choices, it ranked extremely high.

It had been four days since the shopping trip with Jimmy, Zach, and Quentin. That night, Daken had taken the first look at Bobby’s dating profile and found himself amused but not particularly interested. There was nothing in it he hadn’t guessed already or knew anyway. Then last night happened and the awkward morning conversation where both of them had tried, and failed, to play it cool. 

And now here he was, staring at the damned profile again. Not just that though, no, because that would be excusable with curiosity. No, he was also wrapped in the same red blanket that Bobby had worn all night. The blanket that smelled of Bobby and that Daken was even considering sleeping with tonight because he hadn’t slept as well as he did with Bobby in his arms in - ever.

Daken sighed heavily, one hand rubbing over his face as he looked at the screen of his mobile. This was stupid. For one, he had no interest in dating in general and then there was the fact that he certainly did not want to date _Bobby Drake_. The elemental Mutant was cute and funny, but he was also an X-Men and almost painfully good. Like the kind of good that made _normal_ people seem evil, not to even mention someone like him. 

They were _friends_. Drake had said it to him, and Daken believed him. Or at least he believed that Bobby thought they were friends. Friends didn't do this kind of stuff though. They didn't because they weren't supposed to be interested in each other.

So no, Daken had really not needed to look up Drake’s dating profile.

More importantly, he _definitely_ did not need to make a profile for himself. Except that he was in the middle of doing just that. Why? Daken was not sure. Maybe he was that bored and lonely, maybe he really wanted to mess with Bobby a little. Maybe it was far more complicated than that. Whatever it was that made him do it, Daken had come to realize that this was a rather annoying task. He couldn’t use ‘Daken’ as his name or Bobby would know right away. Saying his age was seventy two would also create some question marks which meant he was going to lie. As always. In the end it all came back to old habits.

The real tricky part was the picture though. Daken scrolled through through his collection and eventually settled on one that was taken at an angle and with the right lighting to hint at how pretty he was without actually showing enough to recognize him. It would do. This was all a joke anyway. It wasn’t as if he was going to use this for more than a little bit of flirting with Drake and a good laugh.

Sitting on his bed, Daken stared at the blinking cursor and the empty white chat line. _This is a bad idea. This is the worst idea you have had since going to that bar looking for abuse and sex you didn’t want. Fucking hell, what does it say about you that you’re doing this?_ It said a lot of pathetic things about him. Daken refused to contemplate them any further.

> **H -** _So, Scully or Mulder?_
> 
> _I’m more like Mulder. You?_ **\- B**

The message was tapped out before Bobby even thought about it. There was no dick pic, no demand for a dick pic, and no stupid talk about how lucky he was that whoever was messaging him, or random mutant hate. Bobby had started just talking to anyone who was civil at all. Afterwards though, he checked the profile. _Hiro, okay cute name … About thirty hu? Good age. The tag line is pretty cheeky, ‘All good things come to those who wait.’ What are you dude? What are you trying to say about yourself? Does it even matter when you’re that pretty and mysterious? Wow look at that dark hair, and that nose. Yes, yes please._ Bobby kept reading and shook his head as he came to the About Me section. _‘To summarize oneself in such short words is to pretend people aren't complex. I suppose I enjoy the finer things in life.’ Alright buddy, sounds like you’re one of those people who are too good for dating apps but show up anyway._ A quick scan told him everything else he needed to know. They were near each other in height and weight, the tribe didn’t say too much, ‘Clean cut’, and he was single. _Well let’s see what all you’ve got to say …_

> **H -** _Scully. Believing in things that cannot be proven is a rather odd thing to me. Fascinating though._
> 
> _We believe in things we can’t prove all the time. No one can really prove that reality is real or that we aren’t in a simulation. Yeah deep cut, I know but I’ve gotta defend my man Mulder._ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Who says I believe reality is real? Isn’t everything we experience based on our own perception either way? Someone else watching would see something different._

Daken was not sure how this had gone directly into a debate about the complexity of reality but it seemed pretty normal for them. Even their most casual conversations always seemed to hold a deeper meaning. It was part of why Daken enjoyed spending time with Bobby.

> _See? You just made my point for me. Mulder all the way. Also, you made me smile_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _If it made you smile, then I admit defeat. I suppose I did always find Mulder far more attractive ..._
> 
> _Right? That jawline and those big blue eyes. He is gorgeous. Watching him was a guilty pleasure of mine_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Ah but why a guilty pleasure? I’ve never understood the concept. Pleasure and guilt seem mutually exclusive to me_

_This is sort of personal. Do I wanna tell this guy? What the hell, it isn’t like I’m the only guy to ever take decades to come out_. While he thought it through Bobby looked back at Hiro’s profile. The app told him this guy was somewhere in New York City but apparently he did not have location on. Bobby was concerned, in the back of his mind, that this was a student. The only profile picture wasn’t a straight on head shot, and didn’t give enough for easy recognition at a glance. In the end, Bobby decided that as long as things stayed PG he was safe to talk to Hiro, whoever he was.

> _I was in the closet till about a year ago or so. When I was watching the X-files I wasn’t even really out to myself. I always thought I just wanted to be like Mulder, not that I wanted to make out with him. Haha, little intense, sorry_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _No, this is quite interesting. I suppose I never really was in the closet so the idea is a bit strange to me but hiding from being seen in general? That I understand. Are you happier now?_
> 
> _A lot happier now. It’s really sweet of you to ask. I can’t imagine always having been out. That’s crazy, like crazy awesome_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Only in theory. People make assumption about me quite often and the ones made about my sexuality are the least fun. I’m not in the closet but I also don’t like labels, none of them ever wanted to fit me_

Bobby flipped back over to Hiro’s profile and gave everything another once over before bringing the chat back up.

> _Well in the interest of not being a bag of dicks I’m just gonna put this out here, what are you looking for? Your profile says chat. Does that mean you’re not interested in hooking up at all?_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _I’m bored, a little lonely. I enjoy looking at pretty people and a casual chat has never hurt anyone. I don’t really know if I am looking for anything. I certainly don’t want to just hook up with anyone. Been there, done that. 0/10 wouldn’t repeat_
> 
> _It’s refreshing, like arctic breeze level refreshing, to talk to someone who wants to talk and can actually hold a conversation. I get a lot of dick pics on this app_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _You mean people just send you a picture of their penis? I always thought that was a joke. No prompting, no warning? Is this not considered sexual harassment? Good to know, I suppose this will be a one night experience before I have to look at a bunch of genitals I never asked to look at_
> 
> _You must be really new to dating apps. Yeah that’s literally what happens. I just got another message. Do you wanna make any predictions? I’m going to guess it’s some guy’s who doesn’t understand camera angles ode to his cock._ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _I signed up about twenty minutes ago, so new is kind of understatement. If it’s a dick picture, send back a rating and a disappointed emoji_

With a chuckle Bobby checked his new messages. “Oh gross!” He then flipped back over to Hiro.

> _0/10 would not recommend. Blocked!_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _My, that must have been one ugly penis. Not that they are generally pretty to look at but zero out of ten? That’s harsh._
> 
> _It was minus five because I didn’t ask for it, and it lost the rest of the points because of bad lighting, a weird mole, and because it was … moist_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Well, that’s just lovely. Ever got a picture that actually excited you? I wonder if that happens_
> 
> _This guy I dated for a little while, he sent some good pictures, and a month ago I had sort of a steamy chat with this other guy. Those pictures weren’t bad. In both cases I asked_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Consent makes all the difference, I suppose._

Daken had settled on the window sill and after that message he reached for a second smoke. Somehow the idea of Bobby having a good time upset him. Daken was not sure he even wanted to explore that particular feeling. It couldn’t possibly lead anywhere useful.

> _It does. Being in the closet for so long, I did a lot of things I never wanted to do. Now I’m taking ownership of who I am and what I want. Anyway, so why did you message me?_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Your profile picture. These curls, the icy blue eyes … your lips. You’re beautiful and you are a mutant like me which is an extra bonus._
> 
> _You’re a mutant? That’s amazing! Hey, if you wanna meet up to talk more over like coffee that would be so awesome_ **\- B**

Even though he was sure it was going to end the conversation Bobby hit send. It was pretty clear that this guy was just on the app to pass some time; that he was curious. There was no way he actually wanted to meet. Still Bobby didn’t know how to do something halfway. _It’s too enthusiastic, he isn’t going to be into it at all. But maybe?_

Putting the cigarette out Daken stared at the screen for a long moment and then groaned. Now he had done it. _What the fuck am I even doing? This would never work. It can’t._ And yet …

> **H -** _I am not opposed to the idea but I’d like to talk a few more times before committing to a meet up_
> 
> _Yeah that’s cool. It’s getting late and I’ve got classes to teach in the morning so I’m gonna go for now. This was nice. Thanks for making me smile_ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _Sleep well, Professor_

Daken had to resist the urge to go for _Snowflake_ but that would do. _Is this cruel? Am I being a horrible person for enjoying talking to him without the posturing getting in the way? Probably._

> _Night Hiro_ **\- B**

Bobby flopped around a few times feeling fluttery. _This is stupid._ He tried to pin down what it was about this guy that he liked so much. There was only the one picture to go on, and a short bit of conversation. Still he liked where things had gone, and he liked how easy it had all flowed. Bobby flopped around a few more times, feeling giddy. He wasn’t really sure what to do with his feelings so he poked around at his phone trying to sooth himself. Somehow Bobby found himself looking at his text messages with Daken. He couldn’t have said what instigated his action but he was feeling both very good, and very vulnerable. If he was being totally honest he thought Daken was hot, and he liked talking to him despite the dominance games they both always fell into.

> _Do you have time for sparing after classes get out?_ **\- B**

The phone vibrating almost made him jump and Daken had to chuckle at himself. Guilt. That was guilt right there. Checking his messages he arched a brow at seeing that it was Bobby who had sent him one.

> **D -** _Shouldn’t you be sleeping? But sure. I’ve got time_
> 
> _I don’t really sleep that much. And good. Looking forward to it_ **\- B**

As soon as he sent the text Bobby wanted to take it back. _Why would I tell him I’m looking forward to seeing him? That’s totally what friends say to each other but Daken is different, shit, shit, shit._

Daken stared at the message for a long moment and then replied,

> **D -** _Going by experience I suggest a hot bath and possibly an orgasm. It’s optional but I hear most people find that relaxing_
> 
> _I’m lacking inspiration for that last suggestion. Maybe a bath tho_ **\- B**
> 
> **D -** _Lacking inspiration? Isn’t that what pornography was invented for? Just saying …_
> 
> _*cat emoji* if that was all I needed would I still be texting u?_ **\- B**

Daken paused and drew the blanket around himself a little tighter. The idea of Bobby with a hand down his shorts while they were texting each other had come to his mind unbidden and Daken tried to push that thought as far away as possible.

> **D -** _Like I know what you’d do when you’re turned on. I’m not a telepath. Speaking of these, why not go ask Quire for some of that weed he keeps smoking? That should relax you._
> 
> _Wow. No way. If I was going to get high with someone it’d be Hank. We have a pact. Anyway I wasn’t expecting you to have a solution. Just explaining why your suggestions doesn’t work me_ **\- B**
> 
> **D -** _Go take a bath, think of some hot, willing guy and then sleep, Snowflake_
> 
> _Sure. Thanks doc *cat emoji*_ **\- B**

Daken switched away from the chat and pulled up google. For the second time that day, he stared at a blinking cursor and an empty field but this time the words came easier. ‘How can I make myself want sex?’ It surprised him a great deal that this was not a rare question, not rare at all. Five million nine hundred sixty thousand search results. _Huh, so I‘m not the only one._

Scrolling through the results he read the titles. _How can I want to have sex more?_ A good start as far as his question went. The next ones went from sounding helpful to deeply uncomfortable quicker than Daken had known was possible. _How to want sex again, Fed up, don't want sex, should I make myself?, Sex, should you force yourself to have it?_ and _I love my husband but can't bring myself to have sex with him_. Daken sat up and switched from the too small screen of the mobile to his tablet. This was going to be a long night.

~~~

Bobby rolled over onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. The talk with Hiro had been nice, fun and engaging. There hadn’t really been any flirting which was fine, taking it slow or making a new friend, both were good options. The talk with Daken had been short, had been less than smooth, and yet it was that latter conversation that his mind dwelled on. Bobby licked his lips and let his hand confirm what he already knew. The bead of precum sneaking out of his cock added insult to injury. All Daken had done was suggest that getting off might help calm him down. Somehow, that had turned into Bobby thinking about Daken and how good it had felt to fall asleep with him. The awkward interactions in the morning weren’t unpleasant enough to keep him from thinking on the event with warm smile. The set up had been less than great, but Isabella was in therapy, and Murdock was working on putting an end to that monster. Over all it had been a good night.

Despite the feelings or reservation the fantasy kept running full steam ahead. Bobby supposed that Daken’s glossy black hair would be silky and soft, more than pleasant to hold onto. _What sort of sounds would you make? And would you let me play with you? Would you want that? God I’d love to tie you up and just kiss every part of you Daken._ His hand moved of its own accord as Bobby remembered Daken’s arms around him, remembered how hot Daken ran. The idea of kissing down one side and up the other of that strong neck, of nipping over each impressive pec, and of the sweet little gasping sounds Daken was sure to make fueled Bobby’s runaway fantasy train. _Kitten, that’s right, purr for me. So sweet for me baby, be good, be good -_

“Shit.” Bobby exclaimed in a choked off voice as he came before the elaborate vision was even half finished. The image stayed with him as he rolled out of his bed, right hand covered in cum, and awkwardly started the shower. The idea of Daken needy, his hands over his head, tied up with red silk, flushed and eager, desperate for contact was still vivid in his mind. _God if that was what he wanted I’d be one of the last people he’d pick. How in the hell would I dominate a man like that?_ Bobby pushed his shorts down and jumped into the shower, desperate to wash the cum and the thoughts away. 

_He’s my friend. He needs a friend, and he doesn’t even really care about sex. There is no good reason to do this Drake. You calm down, and you never do this again. Never. It doesn’t matter how sexy he is, you’ve got no right._ Bobby rested his forehead against the shower tile and let out a long sigh as a wave of unwanted pleasure rippled through him. _Never._

* * *

There were things Johnny knew about Daken that he wasn’t sure other people knew. There was the fact that Daken liked to cuddle. And that he actually liked a lot of Japanese culture like tea and those fancy ink brush paintings. Daken also liked chocolate, a lot. Good chocolate. Not Hershey's or Nestle. Real chocolate that you had to go to a fancy shop to get. The sort of chocolate that was worth more than a night out at nice restaurant. Johnny liked Daken. Loved the guy even. Add to that, the fact that Daken was one of the only people who wasn’t giving him shit about his search for his family and there was basically nothing he wouldn’t do for the asshole. The only reason Johnny hadn’t made it to the school sooner was because he knew Daken and knew chocolate was necessary. 

A little black bag hung from his hand as Johnny turned around several times. He stopped after a moment and looked right at Daken, “Hey bro. Wow, I don’t wanna be a dick, but you don’t look like you slept. Have you tried coffee?” There was honest concern in his tone for all that his words were rather blunt. This wasn’t Laura’s room, it was Daken’s, which struck Johnny as odd and surprising. All of Daken’s style was crammed into a glorified college dorm. Given the space restraints Daken’s love of minimalism elevated the general feel of the place.

“Metabolism makes coffee sort of pointless.” Daken put his book down and stood up. It was still a little weird to do, but he went for a hug and smiled at Johnny. “It’s good to see you, Matchstick. And yeah, I didn’t sleep last night but I had a good reason for once. It didn’t even involve any murder.”

“Well then here’s some ungodly expensive chocolate to celebrate your night of not murder.” 

“You brought me chocolate?” Daken looked up at Johnny with an honestly excited expression, “This is why I adore you.” Pulling back he took Johnny’s hand and got them settled on the couch before digging into the bag for that chocolate.

“It told them I needed to make the most spoiled and discerning elderly chocolate snob happy.” Johnny shrugged, “I think there’s truffle involved. I didn’t ask. It was something German.”

“Elderly? Oh you -” Daken stopped complaining as he opened the box of chocolates. That smell. Rich, almost a bit nutty and incredibly aromatic. Picking up one of the little round pralines he popped it in his mouth and made a sound which was basically a moan.

As quick as he could Johnny got his phone out and took a picture. A short chuckle followed but he didn’t dare speak and ruin the moment. 

“This is so good.” Leaning back Daken licked his lips and made eyes at Johnny, “Wanna get married? I’d let you spoil me with chocolate.”

“I don’t think we can base a marriage on chocolate buddy.” Johnny shrugged. “Though if we’re still single in five years I might change my tune.”

“Marriages have been based on less fun things than chocolate.” Eating another piece Daken shifted and leaned against Johnny, openly seeking out that comforting contact. “But yeah, probably not the best idea I ever had. Not the worst either though.”

“I’ve had ideas that rank so so much worse.” There was a willing arm and happy smile awaiting Daken. Johnny took a deep breath and relaxed a little. He hadn’t been sleeping much either. This was a welcomed break from his own troubles. “So, is this a snuggle call?”

“Yes and no. I do have something I need to talk about but it’s … complicated. So I figured the best person for it is the one I trust to touch me.”

In all the time Johnny had known Daken he’d never claimed to ‘trust’ anyone. If the compliment hadn’t come as a segway into what was sure to be a serious conversation that Daken clearly needed to have Johnny would have said something. As it was he marveled for a moment and then forced himself to simply nod before saying, “Lay it on me bro.” 

There was a short pause as Daken tried to figure out where to begin. This was indeed complicated and messy. After a moment he sighed and started with, “There’s someone who … who is kinda giving me annoyingly intense feelings.”

“Are you cheating on me?” Johnny put his free hand over his chest and tried to look upset. It was ruined by the utter surprise and intense interest covering his features. 

“I’m bad at being faithful.” Daken looked completely serious.

“Well who is it? Who is making your heart go pitter patter?” 

“That’s not really the problem.” Dodging the question Daken kept talking to avoid Johnny asking again, “It’s that I know the person I sort of like is … they are looking for someone to _be with_. Someone capable of handling intimacy. So I had this brilliant idea to ask the internet a few questions and while I didn’t get an answer to the initial problem …” Daken paused and then sighed heavily, “I think I might be … asexual?”

“I don’t know maybe?” Johnny made a face and shrugged. “I mean that’s a big term that means a lot of things. I don’t wanna overwhelm you man, but I gotta ask, why do you think you’re ace and what does that mean to you?”

“I'm not sure yet, not fully. It's such a broad term that covers so many things and it seems the only consistency is not, or rarely, feeling any sort of sexual attraction to anyone.” Daken frowned and looked at Johnny, “There was someone, way back in the day who I think I loved in a way. And I liked the sex. I did. But I can't … how do I know if that was me? How the hell do I tell the difference between my own desire and the decades long brainwashing and grooming?”

“I am really the wrong person to ask.” Johnny sighed and pushed a hand through his hair. “It’s one of the ways I deal, sex. You know that, you’ve played along. This is a mess my man, a total mess.” He looked back over at Daken and asked, determined to be helpful despite his self admitted deficiencies, “The one you thought you loved, were they anything like The Monster?”

“Is there a right person to ask? I don't think so. You're my best friend Johnny, and I know you aren't going to talk about this with anyone. That's why I picked you.” Daken sighed and then answered the question, “He, Kim, was nothing like Romulus. He was soft spoken, gentle and had a good sense of humor. Kim was the only person who called me something other than _Daken.”_

It nagged at Johnny then that all he’d ever called Daken was, well, Daken. Reed had mentioned that it was not a name, but an insult like ‘bastard’. Still, it wasn’t his place to pick a new name for his friend, and until he was told otherwise it was to that which he would have to stick. The matter at hand was more pressing in any case. “It doesn’t sound to me like what you had with Kim was anything like what you had with Romulus.”

“And if it wasn't the same …” Daken made a thoughtful sound and ate another piece of chocolate. “I think … I don't hate sex. It doesn't disgust me. I do get annoyed with how obsessed with it everyone is but I think that's just because I have this stupid image of being basically a slut.”

“You don’t do much to disabuse people of that.” Johnny popped piece of chocolate into his mouth and hoped that Daken wasn’t about to give him a friendly smack. His comment certainly deserved it. 

“Thanks, like I even know how to do that?” Daken pouted a little, playful but also dead serious on not knowing how to act differently.

“No, you don’t need worry about it I was … this is heavy okay? I was trying to lighten it up a bit and then see if you’d tell me who is giving you butterflies in your stomach.” 

“Only if you swear you aren't turning that into joke. Because it's not a joke … I wish it was.”

“Of course I won’t make a joke out of it man.” Johnny gave Daken a little squeeze, “I get it. Matters of the heart and all. I’ve had my fair share of real romances. Yeah, I know I act like nothing touches me but I’ve had my heartbroken more than once. I get it man.”

“You're like me in that regard. Broken on the inside, faking on the outside.” Taking Johnny's hand he gave a squeeze and then said, “Bobby Drake.”

Johnny blinked a few times and just looked at Daken. It didn’t quit register at first but when it did Johnny wasn’t sure if Daken was playing a trick on him, “Wait you mean Bobby Drake as in Iceman, as in actual human disaster cinnamon roll somehow too pure for this world hopeless geek boy Bobby Drake?”

“Yes.” Daken sighed and then frowned, “Thanks for reminding me that he’s as unavailable to me as one could get. Damned idealistic asshole with his stupid smile and his ridiculous jokes and - ugh.”

“Okay, you’re gonna have to draw me a map and show me how this works.” If Johnny had been forced to guess who it was Daken would’ve ended up with feelings for on the X-men roster it wouldn’t have been Bobby Drake. Betsy Braddock maybe. Rachel Grey was another possibility. Maybe Hank McCoy, that guy had done and seen some shit. Bobby Drake wasn’t even in Johnny’s top five possibles. He shook his head continued , “Don’t look at me like that dude. This is, I mean come on, Bobby Drake is your type?”

“I never thought I even _had_ a type.” Daken shrugged and unwrapped another chocolate praline, “Kim, he was a bit of a geek too. He’s the only person I ever felt something romantic for which wasn’t fake and forced. Sure, he was one of Romulus people but like me, it wasn’t out of free will. I don’t know man, there is just … there’s something about Bobby which gets under my skin.”

Those words silenced Johnny and made him think. He and Bobby had gone through cycles over the years. Ever since Summers’ death Bobby had been withdrawn only really reaching out to make his statement about coming out. Johnny knew him, and would claim him as a friend. He knew that Bobby was a ridiculously sweet guy hiding a mountain of insecurity between jokes and overconfidence. _Could he handle you Daken?_ That was the question in Johnny’s mind. He wasn’t sure of the answer, not any more. A few years back he would have said no but now? Now that Bobby was out and proud and running the school he wasn’t so certain. 

“Bobby’s a good person with a big heart. If you’ve got feelings for him and you want to give it a try you should just tell him. He’ll say something stupid and he might hurt your feelings without meaning to, but then he’ll bring you flowers. I don’t know if he’s into you. We don’t talk like we used to.” Johnny shrugged apologetically. 

“If you knew, I wouldn’t want to hear it. This is something I need to figure out on my own but I’m nowhere near ready to tell him that I might have some deeper and far more complicated feelings for him than just reluctant friendship. I need to figure myself out, at least a little, before I can try to be with someone. Right now I’d ruin it. I know I would.”

“Okay that’s … that’s all well and fine my friend but what are you going to do? Are you on like - do you have a plan?” Johnny arched a brow.

“‘Cuse me, have we met?” Giving Johnny a look he chuckled, “Of course I do. I always have a plan, Johnny. I started to see the school counselor once a week and we’re looking into finding a suitable therapist who specializes in childhood trauma and rape recovery. I’m freaking living with the X-Men and I have my very own spandex suit. Oh and I’m actually talking to Logan. As in not stabbing him.”

“You have your own room my dude.” Johnny shook his head. “You have moved in, really moved in. I am gonna be honest with you, I expected you to make nice with Logan before _this_ ever happened. The fact that you’re doing that, therapy, _and_ living here has seriously got me wondering if I’m awake.” After a short pause Johnny shook his head again, “Bobby freaking Drake hu?”

“Bobby freaking Drake, yeah. Guess I like elementals hu?”

“Well you do have good taste.” Johnny smiled and pinched Daken’s cheek before he continued, “It should go without saying that I’m not going to talk to him about this. However if Bobby comes to me and asks me what I think of you all he’ll get is the truth.” Johnny smiled a little bit then, “Which means I’ll tell him your bark is a lot worse than your bite and that you’re actually really into poetry and flowers.”

“I only bite with permission.” Daken nodded seriously and then chuckled, “You know, you should reconnect with him. If I can make healthy life choices, you should consider making some as well.”

Though he wanted to nod and smile Johnny frowned and shook his head. “You are all I have time for right now Daken. I’m here with you because I love you and because you’ve been supporting me. As soon as I get any sort of lead I’m out of here, out of this world, this reality, whatever it takes. I’m going to find my family Daken. Once I get that settled I’ll have time to make friends with Bobby again.”

“Johnny … you are an idiot.” Sighing he leaned up a bit and kissed Johnny's cheek, “You aren't going anywhere without me, okay? I'm with you when you have any lead whatsoever. I know I've been shit at being your friend but not this time. I promise.”

Whatever Johnny been about to say was cut off by an odd chirping sound. “Was that your phone?”

“Ugh, that’s the tone I set for Logan.” Rolling his eyes he fumbled in his pocket for the phone before putting it to his ear, “This better be important. I am busy being spoiled with chocolate and cuddles.”

_“You and I need to talk and you aren’t going to like it.”_ There was a gruff sort of sigh followed by the sound of a bottle hitting a table. _“S’more reasons for you to hate me. Meet me in the rose garden when you’re ready.”_

Daken frowned and then slowly said, “Okay.” Before hanging up and looked at Johnny, “I think my Father is trying to outdrink his healing factor. Again. Mind if I try to run an intervention? You should go annoy the Snowflake.”

“If he isn’t in a class or if he doesn’t glare me down I’ll go join him.” Johnny stood up. “I’ve known that idiot father of yours a long time. He does some stupid shit but he’s typically trying to do the right thing.” Johnny shrugged, “Anyway, I’ll go see your crush and play wingman for you bro.”

“Don’t put it like that, you’ll ruin my reputation!” Daken rolled his eyes and stood up as well. They left his room and he gestured down the hall to the left, “Bobby should be in the office at this time of the day, can’t miss it. It’s got this big _Headmaster_ plate on the door. I’ll come pick you up after dealing with Logan.”


	28. Chapter 28

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken learns a truth that cuts him to the core and everything that he has build, that he has struggled to achieve is being threatened to come crashing down as reality swallows him whole.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Bad Parenting, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Sexual Abuse, Implied/Referenced Conditioning, Implied/Referenced Death, Implied/Referenced Murder, Alcohol Mention
> 
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>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Logan was sure that he was about to ruin everything. He’d found out yesterday, from Drake, that Daken was talking to Husk, that he was helping with the kids around the school, and Drake had even said ‘ _He’s not a bad guy, your son. I think he’s just been lost a long time.’_ For an hour he’d been happy, elated even. Then reality had set in. He was the reason for Daken being here. He’d come back to life and Daken had come to help Laura bring him in. It was over a month later and Daken had stuck around and was trying to put his life in order. There were other reasons, several forces working on Daken but it could not be denied that his resurrection was at the heart of it. Drake looked like he might be forming a crush. Laura and Gabby were getting used to seeing him around, and Jimmy was sad to leave, saying he was going to miss _all_ of them. The guilt had started to eat him alive. What Logan had learned yesterday, what he’d seen over the last several weeks, it sat on his shoulders but none of it compared to what Laura had told him last night. _‘I killed her. I held her head under the waves. I watched the life go out of her eyes. I’ve never been glad to kill someone before Father. I do not know what it makes me, but whatever it is my family is safer for it. That monster will never touch Gabby. Bellona is in prison but when I get her out she’ll be in a world without that monster. I’ll have nightmares but that’s all they’ll be.’_

The wind shifted and Logan almost ran. He could smell Daken. It was early summer. That sweet spot between spring break and summer vacation. There were blooms on the roses, bees shuffling between the petals, and life in every breath. It was bright, and though he’d been out here for fifteen minutes now he couldn’t quite get his eyes open all the way. His head hurt and despite the sun he felt clammy and unwell. As Logan watched Daken approach he pulled himself up right in the little wooden chair and forced a semblance of dignity to into his shell. 

He set the bottle down on the decorative little table, “That was fast.”

“Well, you sounded like you were trying to commit suicide by alcohol.” Daken cocked his head while settling down and reached for the bottle. “So no more drinking for you, old man.”

It was such a beautiful, warm day. Daken felt the breeze in his hair and the sun on his skin. This was his favorite time of the year and any other day he would have been outside to enjoy this. With the lack of sleep though it was rather unpleasant to be called out here. He had made sure to grab his sunglasses so at least his eyes didn’t hurt from the sunlight.

“S’empty.” He shrugged and pushed a hand through his hair. “Look don’t do me any favors. Here in a moment you’re gonna realize you’ve always hated me and you want me dead.” Logan looked at his son and savored the expression of concern. “I just can’t let you keep doin’ all that you’ve been doin’ under false pretenses. You need to know the truth. I thought I was doin’ the right thing, that I was resistin’ all the years o’ manipulation. I’m thinkin’ I’d rather be a tool than have to stand in front o’ you right now and say this.”

Dread crept up his spine and Daken felt as if a heavy hand rested on top of his shoulder. The ghost of someone long dead and gone. After a short pause he set the bottle down and asked slowly, “What is it? What haven’t you told me?”

“I told you the monster was gone. I know what you thought Daken. I didn’t kill him. Romulus isn’t dead.” Logan watched the change in Daken’s eyes happen. It was chilling but it was done. “Cloak had him for a while, he got out, I put him behind bars with SHIELD.” 

The world stopped turning. Daken sat there on the bench, surrounded by roses and sheltered from the sun by the large blooming apple tree, and the world had stopped turning. The air in his lungs felt stale and the taste of blood, ash and cum filled his mouth.

_**Romulus wasn’t dead.** _

His hands twitched and he rubbed his fingertips over the old scar on his left arm. The scar that seemed to just stick around no matter what. Made by the man sitting next to him so that Daken could not kill him. Or Romulus. Or himself.

_**Romulus was alive.** _

Pushing off the bench he stumbled a few steps back and looked at Logan with wide eyes. His expression caught between disbelief and fear. “You’re _lying_! Tell me you are lying!”

“I want to be lying. Daken I don’t want to lose you.” Logan closed his eyes and shook his head, “Bastard’s in The Kennel. I checked, he’s still there.”

The Kennel? The irony of that name did not escape Daken but he had no idea what this place was. It had never been mentioned to him. Not in words or in any files he had read. It could be S.H.I.E.L.D but then again they were gone now so that was not likely. All this time, all these years, Romulus had been there. Only held by - by what exactly? Daken could not wrap his head around the idea of Romulus being kept inside a cage. That wasn’t possible. Not unless he was allowing it.

“You … you said you hadn’t killed him. I heard you, I listened. I knew you hadn’t done it, you didn’t smell of lies. I knew but then he never came back. I waited and waited, and he didn’t come back.” Daken felt his hands shaking and his knuckles itch. “I thought you had - _why?_ Why haven’t you killed him?!”

“He told me he was what I would become, he told me I was his heir.” Logan licked his lips and tried to feel something other than shame. “I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted, for one damn time in my life, to be the man Summers always thought I was. I didn’t kill him because I wanted to prove I would never become what he was.”

“ _Eram quod es, eris quod sum.”_ Daken said it softly, almost like a prayer and then he laughed, “I was what you are, you will be what I am. It’s the fucking engraving of a tombstone, you dumb animal! It is nothing but a phrase that he would spout like a broken record. It means _nothing_. It holds _no_ power. You fell for it and you weren’t even an innocent, traumatized child.”

Despite himself Logan flinched and sat up a little straighter. The shades hid Daken’s eyes but he was grateful for that more than he was bothered. “Memento Mori. I … it never …” Logan swallowed, shook his head and looked away, trying to make it all out. There was a redhead, and she was whispering to him, promising him pleasure. All he needed to was swear - Logan looked back up at his son, “I didn’t kill Romulus because I wanted to be more than an animal. I told you then, you came up with your own narrative. I should’ve told you that first night, I should’ve reminded you I never ended him. I didn’t, and now,” Logan shrugged, disgusted with himself, “Now it’s over.”

“I came up with my own narrative.” Daken parroted it back at Logan and gritted his teeth, “What the fuck was I supposed to do? Live every second of my miserable life in fear of waking up to find him back in my bed? What fucking choice did I have but to tell myself it had to be over. It had to be.” Anger took over and in the next moment he had Logan on his feet and pushed against the tree. 

“Do you have any fucking idea what it means to be so obsessively in love with someone who you _know_ is hurting you, using you, grooming and training you like a goddamn fucking dog?! Do you know, can you even begin to imagine, what it means when that person is just suddenly gone and there is no body to bury, no closure to be had?!”

“You know I don’t.” There was nothing to do for it, nothing to say. Logan put his hands on Daken’s arms but he didn’t push back, didn’t struggle. They couldn’t kill each other easily here. There was a fountain nearby, and several bird baths. However, if they tried someone would stop them, the fight wouldn’t go unnoticed here. “I screwed up Daken!” The words came out louder than he’d meant them to, but there was no going back, “I was tryin’ to live up to somethin’ I can’t ever be. I wanted to prove it to myself but all I did was ruin the only chance I was ever gonna get to be your father.”

“One day, one fucking morning I’m gonna wake up and he’ll be there. And oh, I will crawl right back into his arms and I’ll call him Master and ask to be hurt and used.” Daken laughed and there was a wild look in his eyes behind the shades, “Because guess what, nothing’s changed. Nothing. Creed was so kind to remind me of that. Ah yes, yes he played me _beautifully_. Who would’ve guessed that the fucker could pull that off? I certainly hadn’t. Thought I was in control, thought I had it all going as I wished but no, no I’m _never_ in control.”

That hurt almost more than all the rest. It disgusted Logan, the idea of that putrid monster touching his son. It would have turned his stomach before but now, after having lived side by side with him and seen what good was in Daken’s heart it almost made him physically ill. Coupled with the rest of what he knew, with what Daken was saying, it was more than enough to make Logan blanch and turn almost green. “Dear god …”

“Yeah Daddy, I let him fuck me. Oh I let him fuck me real good, just so I could get you to kill me. It was all planned out so well but I didn’t think he’d play me. I didn’t expect him to whisper _boy_ and drag his claws over my body in just the right way to trigger it, my fifty years of fucking conditioning. But hey, it’s **fine**! I did die after all. If only I fucking had stayed dead because now I get watch him on X-Teams and on television, and he has _fans_. It’s fucking hilarious! Come on, it is! Why aren’t you laughing Daddy hu? _Laugh!_ ” His hands violently slammed Logan into the tree again and there was a wild, haunted look in his eyes.

There was no laughter. The thing that bubbled up in him was a broken sob. Logan looked away. He couldn’t bare it. His hands fell away from Daken’s arms and curled in on themselves in a white knuckled expression of impotence. 

“No? No laughing at my misery? Fine.” Daken forced himself to breath, “I _trusted_ you.” It hurt. It hurt worse than any physical injury that had ever been inflicted on him. “I let you into my life. I told you what he did.” A chuckled followed, still sounding hysterical and desperate, “Oh but this is just – it’s fucking perfect. Brilliant! I can’t believe I didn’t see it coming. Of course you would play me like a fool.”

Daken pulled away, turning his back towards Logan, “You did it last time, after _shooting me in the head_ and making me lose my memories. A friend you said. Someone like me. But no, no you were just delighted that I was vulnerable enough to be tricked and now you’ve done it all over again!”

Logan shook his head, “Since you found me in Japan I’ve been nothin’ but truthful with you. You’re right though. I didn’t tell you the whole truth till now. Couldn’t live with it anymore. Only one thing in my life I regret more than not killin’ the bastard.”

“Don’t fucking argue over semantics with me, you bastard.” His tone was flat and cold now. “Withholding the truth is the same as a lie.” His knuckles itched with the need to draw his claws and just slice Logan’s goddamn throat open and watch him twitch on the ground as the healing factor worked to fix it. There was little which sounded more satisfying and yet Daken forced himself to not follow instinct. He was **not** an animal. He was in control.

“You’re not my Father. You are nothing more than the unfortunate sperm donor of my miserable existence. Just another one of my abusers. Congratulations.” Turning around Daken started to walk away.

In the deafening silence that followed Daken’s words Logan watched the man who had been his son walk away. It had been a nice dream, the family they’d been for a short time. That was all it had been though. Logan turned and walked the other way, stumbling almost blindly through the grounds and towards the city. 

~~~

“So you’re here to see Daken. You two really are thick as thieves hu?” It wasn’t everyday that he ended up with Johnny Storm lounging the wrong way in one of his office chairs. It didn’t look all that comfortable to Bobby, but the arms were well padded and if Johnny wanted to lay himself sideways over both of them it was his business. 

“Yeah we’ve been close for years. Daken’s sort of a handful but he’s loyal, smart, has good taste in music, and knows how to have a good time.” Johnny shrugged and looked over at Bobby. “So, you like him hu?”

“What? Why does everyone say that? Quire thinks we should kiss and Quire hates him. Gabby makes weird cooing sounds whenever Daken and I stand next to each other. Gambit’s even been giving us the eye.”

The smile on Johnny’s face was a knowing one, “You’re blushing Drake.” 

Bobby glared, “So what? This is ridiculous. We aren’t having this conversation Johnny.”

“Dude we so are. Look at you, you’re red, you’re as red as me when I flame on.” A delighted chuckle followed the declaration. Again Johnny would have said more but his phone chirped. 

In an effort to serve Johnny some of his own medicine Bobby asked, “Girlfriend?”

“No, Daken, so basically same thing but better.” Johnny frowned and sighed. “It looks like I’m out of here.”

“Just like that?”

“Yeah, if he’s not swinging by after his talk with Logan I’ve got work to do, can’t hang around all day.” With the agility and grace of a cat Johnny sprang to his feet and smiled, a little less sunnily than before but it was still a smile. “I’ve gotta find my family. Look out for Daken for me okay?”

It was a totally reasonable request all things considered. It was also unreasonable considering the rest of everything. Bobby just nodded, “Yeah, I’ll do that. Take care of yourself Johnny.”

“I always do.” 

* * *

The door shut behind him and Daken made a beeline for the bathroom to empty the contents of his stomach into the toilet. For a second that sudden emptiness soothed something inside him. Then the second was over and he was sitting on the floor with his eyes closed and his back against the wall. 

Romulus was alive. Romulus was alive and in prison. Alive, in prison and able to break out at any time. Why hadn't he? Why? No prison could hold a God. A deity. A monster.

Daken reached for his phone and typed,

> **H -** _Hey, you around Professor?_
> 
> _Yeah, what’s up Hiro?_ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_Can I ask you a stupid question that might be personal?_
> 
> _Sure thing, consider this an AmA, ask away_ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_How's your relationship with your parents? They ever just really disappoint you?_
> 
> _Actually they do. Dad is sort of terrible but I expect that. It’s my mom that really …  
>  It’s like, she used to be so strong and good. She would stand up to my Dad some. No more _ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_I never really had a family until recently. Been trying to connect with my father but he … he did something I don't think I can forgive. Could you forgive your father?_
> 
> _I’m trying. He isn’t okay w/ me being gay or a mutant or Jewish. Mom married a catholic for some reason. Anyway thing is, I only have the one dad and he tried to connect with me so I’ve decided not to write him off completely  
>  Totally think I’m going to regret it _ **\- B**

Daken closed his eyes for a moment and rubbed his hands over his face. Everyone only had one real biological father. Bobby was right.

> **H - __**_He hurt me. I can't do anything about that but ...  
>  There is something I could do which would change things for me personally but it's not really … well I think it's the kind of thing that people would frown at and call counterproductive_
> 
> _I’ve been going to therapy for a while now and something they keep telling me is that I’ve got to do things for me and stop worrying about what other people are going to think_ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_Thank you. I'm gonna think about it for a bit before making some stupid choice out of anger but knowing that I'm not alone in having shit father figure … that's nice  
>  Your old man doesn't deserve a son like you_
> 
> _That’s really sweet of you to say Hiro  
>  Do you wanna get coffee? We can talk more about horrible fathers _ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_Ask me again in a couple of days. The answer will be yes then_
> 
> _It’s no pressure._ **\- B**

The little note saying that Bobby was typing made him chew his lip and wonder. What could take so long to type?

> _You know, your dad doesn’t deserve you either. I’ve got a good friend struggling with having a dad who messes up and is really messed up. It’s tough on him and he isn’t the type to reach out when he’s hurting. He’s got two great sisters though, and he just found out he has a little brother too. It’s been something else to watch him take on his ghosts. I’ve got a lot of respect for what he’s doing._ **\- B**

“Oh.” Daken swallowed and then sighed. It was sweet and bitter at the same time. 

> **H - __**_I'm sure that he could use a friend to cheer him up sometimes and you have a great sense of humor. Maybe ask him to coffee some day_
> 
> _I might. Not sure if he’s into coffee. He’s the sort of guy who has very refined tastes. I don’t think he’s ever been inside a starbucks cause it’s not posh enough_ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_All the more reason to do it. I've got to go now but … thanks. I'll text you soon_
> 
> _Mwah! Anytime beautiful!_ **\- B**

Smiling a little Daken pulled himself up and started to brush his teeth while plotting. Romulus was out of reach. There was nothing he could do to handle him. Nothing at all. But there were other people, other targets. He could do _something._


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Driven by the need to do something about the current situation, and fully aware that he has no chance of reaching Romulus, Daken makes a call. One that might end up leaving him in less than good standing with the X-Men. Or maybe he is overestimating how important they think a certain ex-villain is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Past Rape, Attempted Rape, Sexual assault, Victim Blaming, Canon-typical Violence, Attempted Murder, Implied/Referenced Self-harm
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Three days. For three days Daken had continued to play along. He had been a big brother, a friend, and an X-Men. For three days he had lied and smiled, had worked with people he could barely stand looking at. And then he’d had enough. Spending one more minute in the same space as Logan, despite the fact that Logan was giving him a wide berth, was too much. Daken had to get away. So he did.

Daken had grabbed only the most necessary things, stolen Logan’s bike and driven off. At first there had been no destination in mind, he just needed to get away. That had been thirty two hours ago. 

The anger was still there. Eating at him and the fear only made things worse. If he couldn’t act out, if there was no way to use his anger in a productive way - than he had to resort to other ways to cope and to silence it. Mostly he left these emotions with himself, carved into skin unable to tell the tale of it. 

Romulus was inside ‘The Kennel’. A maximum security prison for super-powered criminals located in an undisclosed location. Ran and operated by ‘the Government’ but which one, Daken had no idea. The Kennel was a place so highly guarded that somehow they had kept the most dangerous person Daken knew inside a cell for years. Approximately somewhere between three and eight. 

Logan had put Romulus there and Logan had been dead for three years and seven months. That meant Romulus had at least been held for that long. Logically longer because there was no way Logan could have put him there without his healing factor working. Daken figured it had to be about four years then, no less but maybe more. A long time. So long that it seemed Romulus was not going to go anywhere. At least not right this moment.

This was a problem and a relief at the same time. If Romulus could not get out, chances were Daken would not be able to get in either. Therefore the shadow would continue to cast his life into darkness. There was no escaping that. He had tried, had believed he did and it wasn’t true. It was all a lie. And if Daken could not deal with the real problem, he was going to handle some other ones.

There was still the question of who had given information on him to the Orphans of X. Daken had talked to one of them since the funeral but the woman only had the vaguest of information for him. Something about never actually meeting the informant, just hearing the voice over the phone. Useless. Daken needed more but he wasn’t going to get it and therefore his plan had changed, simplified; Kill every single person who had ever seen him vulnerable in _that_ way. The list wasn’t long. 

There was Mystique whom he had foolishly slept with in an attempt to gain favor, information, and to be seen as an ally instead of potential danger. Of course she was still never above stabbing him in the back. Mystique was Mystique and always would stay herself. Finding her would prove tricky which was why his first target was someone else. Someone just as familiar though.

Victor Creed. The name alone sent a shiver of disgust down his spine. Creed had used him. Played him. All while Daken had lied to himself that he was the one playing the game and pulling the strings. What a wonderful little lie he had told himself there. And what a delicious, horrifying experience it had been to have someone so stupid play him so beautifully. Daken was going to make the man bleed for it and it would be better than any orgasm. Catharsis. It had been far too long since Daken indulged in that.

Bobby had told him, Hiro, to do something for himself, fuck the consequences. It was probably not murder that the X-Man had in mind but Bobby would never know that he’d encouraged it. Daken was going to make sure of that. He had to. Bobby was - Bobby wasn’t like him. Bobby was _good_.

The trail had led him to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Daken was not entirely sure what Creed was doing down in Mexico but it seemed that the older version of Wolverine had some secrets and was actually on another team aside from the regular Gold one. A team that wasn’t really part of the X-Men line up. Daken wondered a little about it but he didn’t care to get involved with the politics of superhero teams. Leaving the school meant leaving the team. Not that Daken had ever really signed up in the first place. He had just been along for the ride a few times. It meant nothing.

It was afternoon and he was lying on his bed in a shitty motel room. It was hot. Between the pit in his stomach and the suffocating heat Daken was feeling weighed down. There was a nagging fear that being out here on his own made him an easy target for Romulus. But Romulus was in prison for now and Daken wasn’t a goddamn coward. What was there aside from risking this? Cowering in the X Mansion and hoping that the heroes would protect him? Ha.

“Heroes … what a fucking joke.” Sighing Daken rolled over on his side and let the cool breeze from the ventilator wash over himself.

His phone vibrated and with a sigh Daken grabbed for the damned thing. Sixteen unread messages. Daken stared at the number on his phone. He had switched it to mute and been ignoring people for days. Now that he was out of the states, he felt it was time to at least read the messages. Laura, Gabby, Jimmy, Johnny - these he had expected, sort of. Not Bobby though. After a moment of contemplation he read the message. 

> _You won't believe me but I'm worried about you Daken. You don't have to come back just please talk to your sisters._ **\- B**

It was a nice thought, that he was being worried about but at the same time it felt like a weight on his shoulders that he didn't want to be carrying around. Responsibility. 

Daken considered sending a text back to Laura and telling her he was fine but then he found himself opening the Grindr messages he had with Bobby as ‘Hiro’.

> **H - __**_Sorry for the silence. I’ve been busy, had to leave the US for business. I’ll be back though, sometimes work just gets in the way of fun._
> 
> _Hey there! Not gonna lie, thought maybe I’d scared you off. Glad to hear from you Hiro. How are you?_ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_Somewhere between stressed and numb. How about you?_
> 
> _Overstimulated and displaced, also worried. But I'm okay. Is your dad still giving you trouble?_ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_Left the States so not really. Guess he’ll be a problem again when I come home though. He’ll always be a problem. Right now it doesn’t matter. What has you all worried?_
> 
> _Not sure how closely you follow the news - Jennifer Walters, She Hulk just got five of my best friends out of prison. That means I’m getting a demotion, I’ll just be a professor again._ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_Are you sad about that? Did you enjoy running the show?_
> 
> _Sorta. I got to add two new members to the roaster. Nothing burned down. Feels like I might’ve made my big brother proud. I like to think he would be happy to see me stepping up if he were here._ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_If he loved you, and I’m sure he did, then he’d be damn proud. Sounds you got thrown into the deep end and had to make it work, right?_
> 
> _Yeah, you about summed it up. What’s really got me worried right now isn’t my demotion. One of the people I brought onto the team is AWOL - I told you about him last time, my friend, things with his dad got out of control or something. He vanished. I’m thinking about putting together a search party if he doesn’t show up soon._ **\- B**

Daken starred at the screen and frowned. A search party? For him? Had he left the impression of being incapable of handling himself? That was ridiculous. He didn’t need _saving._

> **H - __**_This guy, do you trust him?_
> 
> _Yes and no. I trust him not to get dead. I don’t trust him to be kind to himself. Daken’s had a rough life, way rougher than most people and that’s coming from me, Xman since 12. He’s taken off, isn’t talking to his sisters, and his dad looks like he smells something gross constantly. I’m worried he’s going to hurt himself._ **\- B**
> 
> **H - __**_I think you need to give him time. If he doesn't say anything in another day or so, then go find him. Don't know much about that guy but rumor has it he's good at surviving and easy to piss off_
> 
> _He belongs here at the school with me. With his family. I’ll give him time but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to worry._ **\- B**

It wasn’t till Bobby hit send that he realized how he’d phrased things. It only mattered because he was sure that Hiro was Daken. Bobby had spent some time looking at Hiro’s pictures, and thought about the timing of everything. It all clicked into place, there were too many coincidences. Part of him wondered if he should say it, if he should admit what he knew, but Bobby was worried that if he did Daken would stop reaching out. Asking for help could be scary, and it was clear to him that Daken needed this extra distance, this safety net, in order to feel confident enough to ask for some comfort. So Bobby didn’t add to his message, didn’t call out the deception. Instead he sat, watching the little indicator at the bottom of the screen which alerted him that ‘Hiro’ was typing. _It’s not like I’m into him. It’s not like this is going anywhere. I’ve got a date._

> **H - __**_With … you? Bobby, do you like him?_
> 
> _I care about him. More than that I’m not ready to think about. I just want him back here._ **\- B**
> 
> **H -** _That's sweet. I'm sure he'll be back. Far as I can tell, he seemed pretty comfortable on the team. But anyway, I've got a meeting to attend soon. I'll message you again_
> 
> _Do whatever you have to in that meeting to get what you need Hiro. I’m looking forward to that cup of coffee. Talk soon_ **\- B**

That was odd phrasing. Daken sighed and then shrugged. Whatever it was, he didn't have the time to think about it. There was hunting to be done and the scents coming in with the breeze from outside told him that Old Logan and his team of idiots had arrived.

Rolling out of bed he stood up and grabbed for a hair tie. Every time Daken had wanted to get a haircut since Logan came back, something had interrupted. It was getting out of hand now and wasn’t practical at all anymore but Daken could not deny that it looked good. Gabby kept telling him to grow it all out properly because then she would have even more to braid. Daken was not so keen on that one though.

His boots were halfway on when the phone went off again. Frowning he grabbed for it and then stood there in silence, reading the text multiple times before sighing. “Dammit Drake …”

> _Please come back Daken. We need to talk and it's not a text message sort of a thing. Whatever happened I'll try to help. I'm not running the school anymore so I'm a free agent again. I can come to you if you want just please don't disappear on me._ **\- B**

“Soon.” He said it into the silence of the room and shook his head. Soon. _Yeah, after I take out Creed. This has to come first. I need to leave this anger somewhere before it drives me mad._

* * *

It had been a long time since Daken felt the rush of excitement that came from a good hunt. There was something about stalking a group of highly trained, overly paranoid and enhanced people which challenged him in all the right ways. The old fuck, Creed and the native tracker were all on their own very much capable of noticing someone stalking them but not him. No. Daken had a few advantages which were always part of the reason why Romulus favored him so heavily. There was nothing as effective as simply not having a scent to stay hidden. Silent movement, an easy grace and decades of training only made it even easier.

Daken followed them around the beach area for a bit, watched them settle down and start drinking. Logan wasn’t with them but the old man’s scent lingered on them so Daken wasn’t concerned. Fucker was harder to kill than a cockroach either way. What _did_ worry him was how the three partying idiots did not seem to notice right away when Creed disappeared from their little group. _They trust him. They aren’t just idiots, they are completely fucking useless._

Slipping into the crowd he followed Creed for a bit but then lost sight of him. That was fine, he still had the asshole’s scent and it was leading Daken back to the plane in which the team had come. Creed wasn’t anywhere to be seen though. _Where’d you go? What’s the deal with going out and then coming back here? Something isn’t right._

That was when he saw Creed get into the smaller plane again. Without thinking twice he jumped onto it, holding tightly as it gained altitude. _What the hell am I doing? This cannot go well. Logan is never going to let me kill Creed. Fuck._ The smaller plane docked and he waited until Creed was inside to follow. Before he saw the fight he heard it.

“ _ **Ha Ha!**_ What the hell, man? Didn’t you see this _**coming?”**_

Creed. That was Creed laughing like the psychopathic animal that he was. Daken narrowed his eyes and pressed against the wall, hiding in the shadows as he stalked closer to the pair of them.

“Oh, I get it. You’re the _Old Wolverine_. From the _Future_ and everything. Stuff slips your mind. Well, lemme fill ya in …” There were electronic hisses as Creed slammed Logan against the wall, into monitors, and into the floor. “… I _**always**_ come see you on your _birthday_! It’s our thing, man! Every year ever since I found out there was a _**Little Punk**_ out there biting my style… I show you who the _**Real Monster**_ is! Or maybe I show you what kind of monster _you_ really are. Ha! I dunno. It’s been so long, I get it mixed up … and since I started fighting for the _**Good Guys**_ I nearly forgot about it _myself._ ”

_What the hell did I walk into here? Birthday? It’s not - is this Logan’s birthday? What kind of tradition is beating the shit out of each other supposed to be?_

“But I’m _always_ gonna find you. You should _thank_ me, man. Gotta stay in _shape_ … … ‘cause one of these days, we’re gonna take this to the _**End**_.”

_**SHAAANG!!!** _

The sound of it rang out, loud even amidst all the chaos, Logan’s adamantium laced claws cut through the sparking wires on their way to meet with Creed’s face. “DAMMIT!” Logan was flung back again, prone, belly up, with hundreds of kilos of raging, ravenous, malkavian feral mutant astride him. 

“You remember now, don’t you? All those fights … all that blood …” Creed grinned wickedly, his tone lowered and took on a husky, almost intimate quality, “… and _Silver Fox_. You can’t ever let that go, can you, Pal?”

Daken continued to watch for another moment, almost intrigued by the sheere insanity of the moment but this was not the kind of fight he had come here for. Annoyed he pushed away from his little hiding spot in the corner and put himself between the two testosterone filled animals, blocking Creed’s slash for Logan’s eyes. “Hello Victor, been a while. Did you miss me?”

Logan looked at him, the son he’d never had and wondered how in the hell he’d gotten on board. There was no time for such questions though. All Logan could do was put space between himself and Creed, while hoping that the adrenaline would speed up his healing factor so that he’d be ready when the next hit came. Logan’s hands shook as he pushed himself up off the floor, the memories Creed spoke of were far more vivid than they had any right to be. 

“Wait, who were you again?” Creed sniffed and curled his lip, “Oh Daddy’s little whore. Have you come back for another round?”

“Oh cute, the animal has a sense of humor. What a great pet you must make.” Daken kept his anger under tight control as he glared up at Creed, “Sorry to interrupt your tradition and all but shouldn’t you be doing this with the _real_ Wolverine? Or are you too weak for that, hu Victor?”

A shadow fell over Creed’s face. The inaction didn’t last long though, he lunged forward with a wild scream, claws lashing out without mercy.

Daken _laughed_ as he let the claws dig into him while burying his own in Creed’s kidney, “Now we’re fucking talking, was starting to think you’d lost your edge along with your fucking mind!” The taste of blood on his tongue was better than any overpriced chocolate. The rush of pain and adrenaline took his mind off _him_ for one blissful moment.

“Son of a whore -” Creed made to put his claws through Daken’s throat but was stopped and forced to one knee. Logan had joined the fight, taking out his legs with one swipe. Before it healed Creed was roaring back in the old man’s direction.

Logan shuffled to the side as quickly as he could. Creed went through the wall which left him with time to meet Daken’s gaze. This was the man who had nearly killed himself on Roosevelt Island to help Laura and Gabby. The man who had insisted Logan attend Sarah’s funeral. The man who had shown up with flowers in his hair and stood with the Gambit. Here was the same man stinking of frustration and rage. “Kid, you need to get outta here.”

Daken’s eyes narrowed and the look in them was colder than dry ice, “Fuck off, I’m here for Creed. Not you. Not a lecture. Not being called _kid_.” Whatever else they had to say was interrupted by their common enemy of the night. Daken put himself between the oversized animal and his sort of interdimensional sperm donor. “Eyes on me, Victor darling. You wouldn’t wanna strike even more of an impression of weakness now would you?”

“We’re havin’ a party and pretty as you are, no one ordered a whore.” Creed slammed his hand into the wall as he advanced. Sparks flew and the ship made a strange sound.

“Shit head’s gonna ground us in the worst way!” Logan tried to circle around to the left, thinking to create a sort of pincer attack. 

“Oh but you _loved_ it, we both know you did. Was quite the trip for you, wasn’t it? One time, just one time you got to play the role of the top tier in the room. Got you going real good.” Daken snarled and this time he lunged at Creed, claws tearing into flesh and expression wild, “Got a score to settle for that one. Never fucking agreed to be your plaything and you know what I really can’t stand? _**Rapists.** ”_

_There’s a lot goin’ on here that I don’t need to know about_ , Logan thought to himself as he gave up on getting into the fight to do something about the ship. 

“Didn’t hear you complainin’.” The words bubbled out of Creed with a bloody froth on his lips, “You begged for more, said you loved me.”

“No, no I said I loved _Master_ but you, you are nothing but a fucking animal. You’re not my Master, you are nothing more than dirt.”

Without a second thought Creed put his foot through Daken’s crotch and grabbed his arms. In less time than it took to blink Creed threw him over the top of his head and into a bank of monitors. They hissed and sizzled in a very satisfying way. 

“Hold onto somethin’.” Logan screamed. The ship’s alarms did not go off, but they would all feel it in their stomachs, the sudden drop in altitude, the G forces working on them. “We’re going down!”

“Oh your boy will be before the night’s over!” Creed could feel weightlessness flirting with his hair as he moved towards Daken’s slumped form, “Gonna be one hell’uva party!”

Daken waited until Creed reached for him to pop his claws right through the animals wrist while leaning in, “The only one going down tonight is you, Creed. And if it’s the last fucking thing I do, _good_!” Daken would welcome death with open arms and greet her like an old friend. The plane was heading down fast and Daken licked his lips, they were going to crash any second now.

All three of them were knocked out by the force of the crash. They had gone from weightlessness to impact with an earth shuddering _SHRACK!_ Flames flickered, smoke twined and twisted through the crumpled and twisted remains of the ship as Daken pulled himself up. There was a strange almost artificial whine in his ears that would not cease. He leaned against the wall and wrinkled his nose at the smell of charred skin and ozone. He didn’t know what he looked like, standing there, bleeding in the flickering light, and he didn’t care. There was motion. There should have been noise but his hearing hadn’t cleared. _Creed._ Daken wasn’t sure where the old man was, but it didn’t matter. The old fucks healing factor was slow but it still worked, he would have survived the crash.

Blue eyes continued scanned the crash site, taking in the location and their surroundings. The plane was nothing more than scrap metal now and it seemed they had gone down over a stretch of open land, a field of some kind. There was a forest close by and Daken could see a farmhouse not too far away. _Focus. Creed, where is –_ He caught the scent but his reaction was too slow, even as his claws shot out and he turned halfway Creed still grabbed him and pinned him down on the ground. Every damned pound of the animals weight was put to good use and Daken felt a wave of nausea hit him. “Get – off -” _No. No. Not again. Never again you ducking animal! I won’t let you -_

“Afraid?” There was an amused and hungry tone to Creed’s voice. “Smells good on you _boy_.” Blood dripped from Creed’s head down onto Daken’s face. The massive blond man rubbed himself against Daken, seemingly uncaring of their setting.

This was what Daken did not get about other people, this right here. How could someone, anyone, be turned on in the middle of _this?_ Surrounded by burning wreckage. The smell of burned flesh, blood and death filling his lungs with every breath. How did anyone’s brain go ‘ _sex now’_ in a situation like this? Maybe it wasn’t that he was broken, maybe everyone else was just fucked up beyond all reason.

The thoughts came and passed and then Daken bared his teeth, growling low, “Think that’s all it’s gonna take, Victor? Call me boy, rub your dick on me and I’ll play mewling bitch?” His eyes shone bright, lit by the flames still flickering around them, “Think again.” Daken was not above using pheromones in battle and he most definitely didn’t think using them in self defense was anything but smart. 

Daken could see it take hold, could see the emotions cascade over Creed’s face, a mix of fear and disgust. It filled him with a sudden urge to get away, to run. “STOP!” The word was a snarl, a knot of anger and defiance. Creed dug his nails into Daken’s cheek and down his jaw, “STOP!”

“Like you stopped when I begged? Like that, Victor?” Daken acted quick, he knew Creed would realize letting his arms go was stupid and so he buried his claws in the man’s kidney before Creed caught on.

“Get off o’ him Creed!” Logan’s call was muffled, the sound distorted by having to make it out from under a pile of flaming rubble. 

Creed snarled in answer as he leaned down intending to bite Daken’s face off.

Logan was buried under the rubble. Daken did not think twice, he just acted. With Creed stuck between the urge to run and him definitely refusing, he was not putting all of his weight down anymore and Daken used that to shove the man off. In the same motion his claws cut through Creed’s throat and while the bastard tried to cover the wounds, Daken struggled to his feet and went through the still burning remains of the plane. Even someone with fully functional healing factor would be in trouble being stuck under burning wreckage.

The smell of charred flesh lead him directly to the old man. Daken felt the skin of his face and neck knitting as he pulled chunks of mangled metal off of him. His ears perked up just as he uncovered the old man’s face and arm. Daken couldn’t help looking a bit surprised at the sight of a sleek black gun in Logan’s hand. He didn’t flinch or jerk though, not even as it went off next to his ear. It was only after Logan fired that he turned to see the ruin it had made of Creed’s face. The sight was blissfully brief; Creed turned, howling in pain, and began to run for the treeline. 

“Go on. I’ll be fine.” The rubble over Logan’s legs shifted with a metallic shriek. Despite himself Logan answered it with a pained yelp.

Kill Creed or save Logan. Daken knelt there and after a second decided there was no decision to be made. The only option was helping the old fuck.

“Shut up. I'm going to pull you out of there and it's going to hurt.”

By the end of it both of them were panting. Logan rolled on his side and tried not to vomit. The smell of charred flesh was thick and nauseating. Logan found his voice again as the feeling passed, “Almost worth it -- watchin’em turn tail’n run.”

Daken narrowed his eyes and then shook his head, “You’re in bad, and I mean _bad,_ shape. None of this was worth it … fucking joke and it’s a joke I played on myself.”

“Might be you saved my life Flowers.” Logan coughed then laid on his back. “Fucker was gonna kill me.”

“Creed knew that the real Logan would kick his ass into the next year if he tried this shit. So you were the substitute.” Daken rolled his eyes and kneeled down, putting Logan’s head in his lap as he pulled out his phone. The thing had survived the crash. _Say what you want about Stark as a person but the ex drunk makes some damn fine tech._

_“Daken?! It’s been two days and it’s two AM are you trying to say something with numbers?”_ Bobby’s voice came after only one ring. It was clear that he was confused and alarmed. Daken could hear him moving in the background. 

“Missed you too, Snowflake. Now cut the questions. I’m somewhere near Puerto Vallarta in Mexico. I need a pick up ASAP. Got a half dead old fuck with me and I’m not so sure he’s healing proper.”

_“Turn on your GPS. I’ll get a team together and be with you quicker than dog on bacon.”_

“Bring a healer if you got one.” Daken hung up before Bobby had the chance to answer. With a few clicks he switched on GPS and then put the phone back in his pocket. “Be good and don’t fucking die on me now, alright old man? They gonna blame me if you aren’t around to confirm it wasn’t me.”

“Drake’s comin’ for us?” Logan grunted and kept his hand on the gun. “Kid’s alright. Figured you would’a called Laura. What are you, sweet on him Flowers?”

“Laura doesn’t need to see you like this.” Daken kept his eyes on the edge of the forest, fully aware that there was a chance that Creed would come back for more.

“She’s a grown ass woman, she’s got her Daddy back, nothin’ here she hadn’t seen before you overprotective stubborn -” The words were cut off by coughing. Logan turned his head, snorted, and spat. When he looked up at Daken again he said, “You smell like roast pig.”

“She’s my baby sister and unlike us, Laura has a _chance_. She is doing good, she’s growing and healing. I’ve been watching it for two and a half years now. If I can protect her from something, I damn well will. That’s the one good thing I’ve ever done.”

“You gotta get over yourself Flowers.” Logan shook his head. “Now if you don’t mind I’m gunna pass the fuck out.”

“Shut up and pass out, old man.” Rolling his eyes he let out a soft sigh when the body in his arms went slack. “Stupid asshole. Can’t even be mad at you … wasn’t you who hurt me.” Daken shifted and tried to settle a bit more comfortably. Not an easy task with a piece of shrapnel stuck in his back where he couldn’t reach. _What a fucking mess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, Nausi here! First I want to thank all our readers for waiting on this update. Both Finn and I have had life come at us in the last few weeks. This chapter was a difficult one for multiple reasons. The fight scenes and the need to intersect with a comic neither of us was reading at the time.
> 
> Even though it ends with a big action sequence the chapter is mostly emotional and quiet moments. We would love to hear from you, lovely readers, your thoughts on this series of events. Daken makes some interesting choices this time, he lets Creed go, reaches out for help, and seems to show a great deal of affection for the Old Man. In addition to that Bobby makes a discovery in this chapter, and I'm eager to know what you think of his choice to allow the charade with Hiro to go on.
> 
> Your thoughts on these and any other points are greatly desired and welcomed. Thank you again for reading. **\- Nausi**


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friendships aren’t easy. Quentin deals with a mildly freaked out Bobby who needs a bit of nudging to accept that he has feelings. And then there is a phone call.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Internalized Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Transphobia, Trans Character, Coming Out, Canon-typical Violence
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

_Alright Drake, pull yourself together_ , it was a desperate thought. The school was in an uproar. Kitty, Rachel, Ororo, Piotr, and Kurt were all home and they were all freaking out that Logan was alive. It was the only thing that had kept Kitty from skinning him alive, Bobby was sure of that. It was also far too much action. Which was why he hadn’t been at the school while _Hiro_ was messaging him. He’d been out, killing time till his date. Now he was having a full on meltdown. There were people he could call, and he had tried. Johnny Storm wasn’t picking up, and Opal was busy with Robby. Closer to home Warren was no use in situations like this, and Hank had pretended to be gay to get back at Trish Tilby so he was out of the question. Rictor had made things sort of weird by hitting on him and Jean-Paul would either yell or feel weird because he’d had a crush on Bobby once. Lastly there was Judah but Bobby didn’t think there’d been enough time for that. More than that though Daken was on his mind and Bobby couldn’t deal with Judah judging him over it. He might have gone to Ororo or Kurt but they had each only just come home and were both trying to coax Logan out of his melancholic mood. For all these reasons Bobby had come here, and he felt like dirt about it.

Just as he was about to knock he got the feeling that he should just walk in. Bobby frowned but opened the door. Quentin Quire’s room was a bit of a disaster. Clothes were strewn about, including underwear, and the bed was unmade. There were a few books sitting out, notebooks, reference books, and magazines. The room smelled a bit like the inside of one of the old pizza boxes. Bobby wrinkled his nose and looked down at Quentin who was sitting cross legged on the floor looking completely out of place. The white shoes, pants, and shirt, the sassy hair, he didn’t belong in this mess. “Nice shirt, _all monsters are human_ hu? Dark.”

“Thanks, it’s almost as good as my old _Dark Phoenix in training_ shirt.” Quentin didn’t open his eyes because he knew the floating pen would drop the moment he did. It was frustrating. Learning to use his telekinetic abilities had taken him a great deal of effort and time. It had been a struggle against his own mind trying to keep a lock on them because of their sheer potential. Quentin knew that if he ever lost control it would end badly but he still wanted to be able to use his own powers on his own terms. The idea of having the Phoenix unlock something he could have without it, had bothered him so much he worked until he had it figured out

And now it was gone. Quentin knew that people had all sorts of different viewpoints on the events that had led him to leave, he _was_ a telepath after all and he heard thoughts that he did not always necessarily wanted to hear. And sure, _maybe_ he had left in a way that no one expected and made stopping him difficult but that didn’t change that no one had tried. That didn’t change the damage done to his already fragile trust. There were reasons why he had cut himself off from the group he had been part of for a whole school year. Reasons besides having a stupid crush on someone who couldn’t even conceive of the idea that he was perhaps interested in dating.

The idea of the school, of the students, in danger had brought him back. So yes, he cared about them, his ex-classmates but that didn’t mean he trusted them or wanted them in his life. He had sacrificed the Phoenix shard for Jubilee, picking the least practical but most sacrificial option in a stupid, misguided moment of heroism. There had been options that didn’t involve the Phoenix at all but apparently stupidity and heroic sacrifice were contagious. At least the X-Men could not kick him out now. Not because of that sacrifice but because he had become friends with one of them. And because he still made a great target with most of his offensive capabilities shut off. Quentin was almost curious to see if Pryde would try to kick him out when he was back in form.

“I can feel you’re uneasy. Need to talk or just want to get high? I’m down for both.” Tilting his head a little he bit back the chuckle that wanted to be voiced when Bobby got flustered over the offer.

“What? Are you … no Quen I don’t want to get high!” Bobby frowned deeply and crossed his arms for over his chest. “I need a friend. I won’t lie to you I made a few calls before I came here, it doesn’t feel right to lean on you, but with the way things are you’re who I’ve got.”

“Lean on me?” He did open his eyes then and the pen dropped. “Are you saying I am too fucked up to seem like a good supportive friend? I mean, you aren’t wrong but ...”

“No you … wow so we get to do this first before I even get into what’s going on, okay.” It still didn’t feel like the right idea. Quentin’s visible struggle to control his gifts was not making this any easier for Bobby. There was part of him that still couldn’t turn off what had been turned on, the leader brain, the part of him that was always worried about running the school and keeping people safe. That part of him was telling him to leave Quen to his work and go eat some ice cream to work this out himself. “You have your own crap you’re dealing with, and you’re a lot younger than I am. If anything I should be supporting you.”

“Age is just a number, except for when creepy people try to molest little kids.” Quentin shrugged and stood up, “Sit down and tell me your worries, oh great leader, while I clean up a bit. This place is a fucking mess. How do I live like this …”

“Uhhh, why don’t I help?” Bobby waved his finger and three knee high ice minions came into existence. “We’ll handle trash and dirty clothes since it’s pretty clear where that stuff goes.”

“You are stalling, aren’t you? It’s funny when people do that because I really could just look into your head and know what’s up but I don’t do that. Despite popular opinion on how I don’t understand the concept of privacy.” Quentin picked up the books and papers to put them into a neat pile on his desk before he grabbed his glasses and slid them on. In theory he could have fixed his eyesight but he liked wearing glasses and when he wasn’t in the mood there were contacts.

“Look the smell in your room isn’t really conducive to spilling my guts.” The little ice golems worked quickly and they were soon marching out of the room to drop off all the trash. Bobby sat down on the small sofa and looked back at Quire. “I bet you can’t even smell it anymore. Crack a window dude.”

“And I bet you weren’t much better as a young adult either.” Rolling his eyes Quentin opened the window and then grabbed them both a can of soda from the mini fridge. “Come on, stop making me curious and tell me what’s bothering you. I’m considering getting a psychology degree anyway.” Sitting down next to Bobby he passed the can over.

“That’s an interesting choice for you but I think by the time you’re done with school you’d make a good therapist.” With a long sigh Bobby shook his head. He fiddled with the can but didn’t open it. “I was on a date and I’m sort of freaking out a little bit. This hasn’t happened before.”

“What hasn’t happened? Because you most definitely have been on a date before. I know. I saw you.”

“Yeah I’ve been on lots of dates, and I’ve kissed over a half dozen guys now, I think tonight makes eight. I just … It was … things just didn’t work.” Bobby sighed and pushed his fingers through his hair. 

“You’re still speaking in riddles. What didn’t work? Was he not your type, did he treat you wrong? Or … oh, you’re not talking about not getting it up, right? Because just for your information – that happens. That’s normal.”

“No I don’t have erectile dysfunction!” The loud groan expressed Bobby’s frustration and confusion. “Look I … I don’t know what happened. We were making out in his car like a couple of teenagers. It was pretty great, he was really handsome, dark skin, incredible hair, big moody eyes. And his accent, it was, I don’t know I didn’t ask, but he was really, really doing it for me and then I just … I left.”

Making a thoughtful sound Quentin opened his can and took a sip while contemplating that. There were a lot of options but given everything he knew one stood out, “Have you considered that maybe you’re not actually looking to date _someone_ right now?”

“I met him on Grindr. We were just there to fool around. I wasn’t trying to go long term.” There was an exasperated sigh, “I just … I was so into it and then I just flipped out and left. Why would I ruin a good thing like that? I like kissing men, I think about it all the time. Constantly even. It’s getting really annoying.”

“I’m gonna say something that you probably don’t want to hear but just listen okay?” Quentin sighed and looked at the can in his hands for a moment before continuing, “You’ve been in the closet for a long, long time Bobby. Coming out is a process and working through years, **decades** of repression doesn’t happen overnight. The teenage version of you was in a relationship because he didn’t have to repress for decades. Maybe two or three years tops. That is a world of a difference. It’s okay to find yourself struggling with what you want as long as it doesn’t chase you back into the closet.”

That gave Bobby pause. He frowned and looked over at Quentin as he reexamined what had happened. “I did have to deal with a lot of internalized feelings of self hate tied to being gay. I didn’t start dating for months after Micro Frosty talked to me. I’d sent a message to all my friends about coming out before I even met Judah. I … I freaked out the first three times I tried to watch gay porn. This didn’t … it didn’t really feel like that.” The frown deepened and Bobby closed his eyes. 

“No?” He looked over, “None of the sudden shame which feels so heavy on your chest you might as well have asked Blobb to sit on it? No intrusive circle of thought around how wrong it is to do what makes you happy when it isn’t _normal_? The voice of your parents in your head telling you they can’t accept it or a teacher talking about how it’s _just a phase_?”

Bobby swallowed and thought back on that moment and shook his head, “No, it wasn’t like that. I felt guilty but not the same way … This is so stupid. I shouldn’t be bothering you with this.” Bobby sat the unopened can down. “I’m sorry.” He started to stand up, ready to leave. 

“Who are you going to talk to then?” Quentin cocked his head, “Your straight friends who have never once in their beautifully ignorant lives had to face more than the realization that they are a Mutant? Who exactly is going to understand this better than someone who has been there?”

“I’m just being stupid. Me freaking out because whatever, it’s just stupid.” With a wave of his hands Bobby tried to just push it all away, “And I don’t know what you’re talking about when it comes to repression. You’ve been smashing gender, sexuality, and identity norms just about as long as I’ve known you Quen. I have a hard time imagining you repressing anything ever.”

The immediate reaction to that was a bitter chuckle. Quentin was never sure if he liked or hated that he was so good at making people only see what he wanted them to see. It made keeping up a certain image easy but it also made friendships near impossible. Looking at Bobby for a moment he made a choice that Quentin wasn’t sure he wouldn’t regret but he wouldn’t know unless he tried. “When I was born, they gave me a label. _It’s a girl!_ They said, based on nothing but genitals. I’ve been trying to scrub that annoying sticky label off for as long as I can remember being self aware.”

Bobby thought back over everything he knew about Quentin Quire and blinked several times. Quentin passed for cis. He passed for totally one hundred percent assigned male at birth. The very fact that Quentin was sharing this startled Bobby, “You’re Trans?” He sat back down and pushed a hand over his hair. His expression began to soften as he worked through it all again. _Why are you making yourself so vulnerable Quen?_ “Okay so I was wrong. Also I’m sorry. If you’ve kept this that close to your chest I’m going to assume there’s a reason for it. I didn’t … you shouldn’t feel pressured into sharing that stuff.”

“I don’t talk about it because I hate the way it immediately changes people’s view on me. _Oh poor Quentin, always challenging everything because he doesn’t feel accepted_.” He rolled his eyes, “Fuck that. I challenge things because it makes no sense that anyone should even have to come out in the first place. We don’t have straight people come out as straight or cis ones as cis. So why the fuck do we have to talk about our sexuality or what’s in our pants – it’s fucking nobody’s business.”

“You’re right, it’s nobody’s business.” Bobby sighed and looked down at his hands before looking over at Quentin. Not even a year ago he had been one of those people who assumed that Quentin Quire was an obnoxious edgelord because it was entertaining for him. Bobby had never guessed, even though he should have, that beneath all the bluster and backhanded jokes, was this sensitive, thoughtful person struggling with expectation and _**blank**_. “So I’m an idiot, and you must really, really want to hear me out. Thanks Quen, like really, thank you.”

“Yeah, I wouldn’t come out to you if I didn’t trust you and like you. Don’t disappoint me, I am really running low on patience for people being assholes.” Quentin sighed and sipped from his can again. It had been years and years since he last admitted that he wasn’t born this way. He had almost forgotten how awkward it was. “Wanna know something funny to make this less of a stupidly awkward mess?”

“Yeah.” Bobby picked up his can and opened it finally, “Yeah that’d be great.”

“I came here because my parents got sick of dealing with a kid who argued about not being a girl every day more than that they didn’t know what to do with a telepathic child. Xavier told them I’d grow out of it.” Quentin chuckled, “I thought he was being clever and soothing their worries but no, he really thought that. And so the first week I was at the school, my enrollment papers still had my dead name on them. I refused to go to class, didn’t leave my room, didn’t say a word to anyone. Then Summers came knocking and you know what the damn perfect asshole had with him? Bag of boy clothes my size, a binder and a book of baby names. I don’t hate Cyclops, I admire him and I am just really pissed at the end of it all.”

Though he was supposed to say something Bobby just sat there for a long time thinking about Scott. It hurt, it was always going to hurt. Even now it felt so unreal. Scott didn’t die. He sometimes went to Alaska to be a radio journalist, but he didn’t die. Scott was dead. Bobby shook his head, “Yeah I don’t hate him either. I’m glad he helped you. Xavier was an idiot about a lot of things, this included.”

“Xavier was a liar through and through. The whole riot thing? Happened mostly because I got disillusioned about my belief that he was genuinely a good person. Right around that time my powers spiked drastically and then that phone call … and the drugs …” He shook his head, “I mean, the good part of it all is becoming a sentient ball of energy and reforming in a fully male body so I’m not complaining.”

Bobby blinked a few times, “That’s … I think I was in California that week. I remember hearing about it all.” He frowned a little, “And that sounds … well Mystique exists and reforming into a truer version of yourself is a lot less weird than her skillset.” Bobby looked at his friend for a moment and then shrugged and held up his hands in question, “Congratulations?”

“Thanks but I always wonder if it’s not … cheating. Unfair. Then again, I am also rich and could afford all the hormones and surgery I wanted which is also unfair. Anyway,” He shrugged, “Now that we covered the awkward part of my gender and sex, let’s get back to you.”

Bobby did not look particularly happy but Quentin just went on, “Seeing as this was not a case of just having internalized homophobia going on … I don’t think you want to have make outs or sex with random people, Bobby. You’re not the type. You have this romantic idea in your head about how things should work and making out in a car doesn’t fit into that. You don’t want to date just _someone_ either. I think there’s a specific person you are interested in.”

“You … okay I’ve got a little whiplash going here.” Bobby frowned and tried to think through the moment he’d freaked out and left. He swallowed and shook his head, “No, no that’s not it. There’s no one. I guess … I guess I’m working too hard. Or I’m having a hard time adjusting to not being in charge. I keep thinking about school business even when I’m trying to get some, even now that it’s not my problem. Even with everyone home from the Box, there’s still so much going on, I haven’t heard from Micro Frosty and crew for example. Tonight it was Daken I was worried about, believe it or not, he didn’t say anything to us when he left, not even Laura.” _Even if I’m right, and I’m sure I am, that conversation with Hiro wasn’t all that comforting,_ Bobby thought to himself. “It’s stupid. I was having such a good time but it was eating at me. We don’t even know where he is now. Logan’s been sulking too. Chances are they had a falling out, nothing’s been the same since Johnny Storm visited. It’s … why are you looking at me like that?”

“You are adorably oblivious.” Quentin smirked and then asked casually, “Tell me why you're worried about Daken?”

“He left without talking to Laura or Gabby and he hasn’t answered them. Logan looks guilty, and if something went down between Logan and Daken you know as well as I do that something was _bad_. It’s not just me either. Laura and Gabby are worried. They called Jimmy and I sent a message to Lil’Bobby too but like I just said, radio silence. No one has heard from him or seen him and I just …” _What is it Drake, what is it you feel?_ Bobby swallowed, “Things were going so well. It seemed like he fit here, like he belonged. It was nice. Now he’s … he’s just gone.”

“And suddenly you are not sure if you'd just been imagining it, yeah? That you two were getting closer and that he seemed to open up even?”

“A bit yeah. It was likely just in my head. I don’t … mostly I just want him to be safe and to get out of my head.” Bobby frowned and sighed, “I don’t wanna think about how pretty his eyes are when I’m kissing someone else …”

“Bobby, I don't need to be a telepath or a psychologist to diagnose you with a crush on Wolverine’s edgy offspring, you are making it very easy for everyone to see.”

“What? No!” Bobby shook his head, “No we don’t even know each other. I’m just concerned because I understand what it’s like to have something turn you into a crazy world ending ice puppet okay? I just, he’s not as bad as people make him out to be and I don’t want him feeling like crime is his only choice.” With a swift motion Bobby wetted his lips and then shook his head, “I don’t have a crush on Daken. He’s … yeah he’s gorgeous, smart, well read, delightfully sarcastic, and really good with kids but he’s not my type okay? Really, there’s nothing going on between us.”

Quentin looked entirely unimpressed with the continued denial. “When you think or talk about him, your heart rate spikes, your pupils dilate and your brain gets a nice dosage of serotonin. Bobby, whether you like it or not, you have a crush on Daken.”

“Come on that’s … that’s totally how crushes work but I don’t have a crush.” Bobby put his hands over his face and shook his head, “I don’t …” _Oh Drake what’s the point in denying it?_ Bobby looked at Quentin and sighed, “Okay, so I tried to make out with a guy to prove to myself I don’t have a crush, I got cold feet because I do have a crush. Okay. That’s … that’s reality then.”

“Look at the bright side … your chances with Daken are better than my chances with Benji ever were.” Quentin sighed and then shifted, leaning against Bobby’s side. “You said it yourself, he isn’t what everyone thinks he is. Daken’s a complicated mess of a man but he isn’t a monster. You’re doing better with him than you did with Mystique because man, that was a mistake.”

They were leaning against one another and it was soothing. Bobby hadn’t expected that from Quentin. They were friends, good friends even, but Bobby was well aware of Quentin’s tendency to to avoid even the most innocent of contact. “Yeah that was a big mistake and it sent me into a huge panic.” Bobby shrugged a little and tried to take comfort in the pressure of Quentin’s shoulder against his as he remembered the short and ill fated relationship, “I sort of fell off the map for a while. It … it was not a good idea and she didn’t really mind exploiting a few things and … yeah … but that’s … Daken and I are never going to happen.” Bobby looked at Quentin, “He’s so far out of my league it isn’t even funny.”

“That’s one hell of an assumption to make.” Rolling his eyes he gave Bobby a look, “I don’t think Daken places himself in any _league_. I don’t know much about him but I’ve had one glance in his head and wow, talk about self loathing.”

“He should be here getting help. He belongs here with his sisters.” Bobby groaned and then realized what he’d just said. “I do have it bad don’t I? Of course I do. Of course I fall for the infuriatingly gorgeous guy who is a million times smarter than me. Yeah, I’ve got a type.” He leaned against Quentin and sighed, “He isn’t into me you know, and he is never going to be. I made the mistake of empathising with him and he thinks it’s pity and that pity is one of the most underhanded insults in his eyes. I can’t believe I freaked out feeling guilty for kissing someone else.”

“Don’t give up this easily. What the hell, _Robert?_ Are you a man who kicks supervillain ass for a living or are you a whiny boy who lets his crushes personal issues discourage him with _one sentence?”_

“Whoa, no, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars! Wow!” Bobby turned to look at Quentin, “Quen sweetie, no, no one calls me Robert. No one. Bobby, my name is Bobby, Mister Iceman if you’re nasty. Are we clear?”

“There you go, _that_ is the Bobby I like. You can be wonderfully assertive when you want and that’s the kind of attitude you’ll need to get Daken to notice you are an option.”

“You hate Daken.” Bobby’s expression was suspicious now, “Why are you encouraging me to go after him?”

“Hate him? No. No, I don’t _hate_ Daken. I find him intriguing and interesting. My problem is the fact that him being around means my role as fill in for Logan’s parental feelings has come to an end and yeah, that sucks. But I’m a big boy and I’ll survive.”

“Laura and Gabby don’t … do you think he can only care about one male child at a time? What about Jimmy?” 

“He can _barely_ care for one male child at a time. Fuck if I know why but apparently it’s easier for Logan to love on young, vulnerable girls and adopt them instantly. Something about seeing himself in the male ones probably. Either way, Jimmy is barely here but if he were to be around more? That would create a lot of conflict very quickly.”

“Well I don’t think Daken is ever coming back. So your place with Logan is safe.” Bobby sighed. 

“That’s the second stupid assumption you’ve made today. Daken will be back. You don’t join the X-Men and leave. No one _**leaves**_ the X-Men. No one. Even Magneto keeps coming back.”

“He didn’t join. I asked him to come along, Laura asked him for help. He put on a uniform but he …” His phone rang, “Oh … oh I have to take this -”

Quentin arched a brow at Bobby but said nothing.

“Daken?! It’s been two days and it’s two AM are you trying to say something with numbers?” Just as Quen had said Bobby felt his vitals all rush and thunder in his ears. It was too much to deny, this feeling that had taken hold of him. What he felt in regards to Daken was different from friendship. 

_“Missed you too, Snowflake. Now cut the questions. I’m somewhere near Puerto Vallarta in Mexico. I need a pick up ASAP. Got a half dead old fuck with me and I’m not so sure he’s healing proper.”_

_Old man … healing … It’s got to be the other-Logan._ “Turn on your GPS.” Bobby licked his lips and made eye contact with Quentin, “I’ll get a team together and be with you quicker than dogs on bacon.”

_“Bring a healer if you got one.”_

The line went dead and Bobby put his phone away, plans already racing through his mind. 

“Does he _always_ call you Snowflake?” Quentin asked it while getting up.

“Almost always, ever since we first met.” Bobby shrugged and took a deep breath. “It’s annoying, almost as annoying as the fact that I don’t run this place anymore.”

“Bobby …” Quentin gave him a look, “Daken _doesn’t_ use nicknames. Possibly a way to show how different from Logan he is, maybe just not his style. The fact that he does it with you ...”

“I don’t speak Japanese but I dated a Japanese girl once.” Bobby shook his head, “It’s an insult. If he respected me he’d use my last name. If we were close he’d use my first name.” It wasn’t important right that moment. If Daken only tolerated him but needed him that was more than enough for Bobby. Daken’s feelings dictated what feelings Bobby acted on but not how Bobby felt. Those feelings belonged to him, and he meant to guard them and cherish them. “I need you on this and I need Zach. If I understood him correctly he’s got the old man Logan with him, hurt badly.”

“Yeah, yeah … I knew you’d drag me along.” Quentin sighed and dropped his glasses on the coffee table, “The things I do for you …” _Daken likes you. And he’s showing it in a way that could mean the exact opposite because he’s a complicated asshole. You’ll figure it out eventually._

* * *

When the words, ‘I’ll put together a team’ came out of Bobby’s mouth he hadn’t been thinking about that fact that Kitty was in charge. She wouldn’t have taken kindly to being woken up in the middle of the night to chase after Daken. True she would have been willing to chase after any Logan, but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t have given Bobby a withering glare. She would have demanded to come along herself, and she would have turned that glare on Daken. It would have sent him running, that was for certain. So Bobby still put together a team but it was without official sanction. It was a small group suited to the needs of those being picked up. 

There was no ditching Quen at this point and Bobby was glad of his steady presence at his back as he knocked on Zach’s door. The boy was shirtless and drowsy having likely only surrendered to sleep an hour or two before. Once he knew what Bobby was about the sleepiness fell away. Zach had shoes and a shirt on in less time than it took to freeze over a lake in summer. The three of them moved through the halls, down to the hanger, shielded in part by Quen’s healing telepathy. Zach was grinning and Bobby was sure that meant the kid was boosting Quentin, which was concerning but not something Bobby could help in the moment. As they passed the locker room Bobby motioned for them to suit up. Quen was quiet but Zach couldn’t help giggling. He had a simple black and yellow uniform for Danger Room training, he’d never worn it anywhere else. _Was I that giddy once?_ Bobby wasn’t sure and there was no time to stand and ponder on it. Quentin was in his sleek but simple black uniform, jacket with the customary X over it in a deep shade of pink and Bobby had his unitard, black and red, covered over by the bomber jacket he favored these days. 

The lights came on as they entered the hanger bay and Bobby finally spoke. “We’re headed to Mexico near Puerto Vallarta. I’ll program it into the Blackbird. I’m tracking Daken by GPS. We’re going to take this as fast as we can so strap in. This isn’t going to be a pleasant ride.”

“This is so freaking sweet!” Zach couldn’t help doing a spin as he walked up the ramp and into the belly of the Blackbird. “Covert rescue mission in the middle of the night.”

The ramp was lifting into place after them. The neon of signal lights, directions, and screens cast a cool mostly blue light over them. “Strap in Amp. Omega, make sure he doesn’t have his phone on him.” Bobby was headed directly to the cockpit. There was no time to think, or worry, or wonder. He had to focus, he had to keep the team focused. There was no room for mistakes here. 

“Iceman is right, give me the phone Amp. We can’t risk having the rest of the X-Men come after us and ruin the chance of actually bringing Daken back. He’s a bit difficult at the moment.” Quentin held his hand out and arched a brow at the kid.

“I turned off location.” It was clear that Zach didn’t want to hand the phone over but he did. Whether that was because he knew it was important or because he had a crush on Quentin was anyone’s guess. It amounted to the same out come though. He sat down and started to secure himself. “Can this thing really go fast enough to make strapping in necessary?”

The answer came a second later when they sped up and Quentin had to struggle a little with getting himself strapped in. “I think that answers that question. Now kid, we don’t know what sent Daken running in the first place so - try to think of him like a really scared, really big cat. Don’t spook him. Don’t be too … excited okay?”

Bobby was glad that Zach seemed suitably impressed. There was a fair chance that the level and concentration of tech around him was also a bit overwhelming. “He cares about you though, seeing you should help, and if nothing else you can help with the old guy.”

It took Zach a moment to find his voice, “This is straight out of a comic, so lit! This is awesome.”

The rest of the trip was taken in relative silence. They couldn’t go at top speed the entire time least they speed past their desired location, they began to slow down well before Daken’s signal. The Blackbird was incredible, but it was still moving in atmosphere under gravity, it was still subject to the laws of physics. Luckily Bobby was not new at this. He picked up the debri in the general location of where Daken’s signal was coming from and inferred that the two had to be connected. From there it was a matter of circling the site twice as he lined up for a landing.

The ramp lowered and the three of them walked out. Bobby hadn’t iced over, but he was ready to at the slightest hint that of danger. Neither Daken or the old guy looked good. Their clothes were half chared, half just gone, and they were filthy. The blood was the only vivid thing about either of their pale and ashen faces. Bobby felt his heart jump up into his throat as he looked at them. Daken’s eyes were as calculating as ever and took in the trio as they came near. Logan didn’t move, not even to open his eyes. Bobby noticed that Zach was staring at the old Logan, but for the moment that was the least of their worries, “Are we too late?”

“No, he’s passed out. Pulse is fine, breathing is steady. Healing factor is working but at the speed of a drunk snail.” Daken shifted and took in the fact that none of these three had healing abilities. However, Daken wasn’t sure if there was anyone in the current line up that did. It seemed like healers left the X-Men pretty quickly.

Quentin looked at the scene, taking in the destruction for a moment before he turned to Daken and the old Logan, “Can you walk?”

“Yeah, I’m mostly dirty and tired. My healing factor, oh surprise, actually works properly for once.”

Hearing everyone talk snapped Zach out of the fixation he had with all the blood. He looked at the prone old man that looked a lot like Daken’s deadbeat dad and pursed his lips. 

Logan blinked a few times and looked around, “Wha - what’s … who’s the kid?”

“I picked up your habit of adopting strays but I don’t discriminate based on gender.” Daken said it almost playfully and patted Logan’s shoulder before saying, “We’re going to get you into that plane now. Quire is going to be so nice to switch off the pain, right?”

The look he was getting was colder than Bobby in full ice form. Quentin was not sure what exactly had happened but he knew it was bad. “Yeah, already done.”

“I’m healin’.” Logan looked between Quire and the kid and then up at Daken, “Flowers what is goin’ on?”

“Me.” Zach offered with a bit of a smile. “I’m Amp, while I’m lookin’ out for you, mister gramps, your healing factor is gonna work over time.”

It was nice to see Zach get to be useful, to be so confident, but there was more to handle. Something had done this. Whatever, whoever it was, that was gone. Bobby walked about the crash site and looked out over the field, _What the fuck happened?_

“Here, slow. Healing or not, you’ve got fucked up bad by that crash old man.” Daken kept an arm around Logan and threw one of Logan’s over his shoulder. “Maybe don’t be in planes on your fake birthday date okay? Like for next year. Just in case.”

“Did we miss a party?” Zach looked between the, an impish grin on his face.

“Amp, you need to workshop that line.” Bobby rolled his eyes and watched Daken closely. For the moment he didn’t say anything. “Omega, can you get us back in the air?” 

“Sure.” Quentin went for the cockpit but not without giving a last glance to the two sniktlings. Daken was being oddly caring and concerned. Normally he wasn’t that open about it.

“There.” Once Logan was settled on the stretcher Daken let himself sink into the nearest seat, hissing when he was reminded of the debri stuck in his back. “Zach,” He looked up at the kid and gave him a smile, “Good job.”

“Yeah. I’m pretty great.” Though he was glowing with the simple praise Zach did his best to play it off as nothing more than he deserved. 

Bobby saw that Zach was tending Logan before he put a hand on Daken’s shoulder. The ramp was up and Quen was in the cockpit. “You’re stiff, and I’m sure it’s got nothing to do with you being glad to see me.”

Daken rolled his eyes but there was a hint of a smile, “Bad pickup line, Snowflake. You’ve got to work on that.” Looking up he sighed, “Got something stuck in my back where I can’t reach and the healing factor is determined to try to heal around it which isn’t pleasant.”

Seemingly all business Bobby said in a dry tone, “Stand up and strip to the waist.” Bobby motioned at the seat, “Hold onto that and let me have a look.” They wouldn’t be traveling home as fast as they’d come, so there was no need to strap in. 

“The whole giving orders thing really gets you going hu?” Daken did as he was told but not without giving Bobby a look. His black shirt was torn anyway and he wasn’t exactly shy when it came to bearing skin. “Be gentle please, I’m a very sensitive and delicate person!”

“Maybe I like to give orders, and maybe you’re just easy to order around.” It was not a pretty sight. Whatever was in Daken’s back, it was a mass of metal and wire now unidentifiable, and was half covered by angry looking skin. An ice golem appeared, walked over to the supplies near the old man, and startled Zach so that the boy let out a shrill sound. Bobby smirked as the thing brought him a scalpel. “This is going to hurt if Omega isn’t blocking your pain receptors.”

“He isn’t, he knows better than to fuck around in my head.” Daken gritted his teeth, grabbed the back of the seat tightly and made no sound when the sharp blade cut into him. It hurt but it was a familiar kind of pain and he’d had worse. So much worse.

“Oh gross.” Zach looked away. “You ever heard of gloves?”

An ice bucket appeared at Bobby’s feet and he tossed bits into it. 

“Not like Flowers there can get an infection. What’s the point?” Logan put a hand on the kid’s arm to steady him.

“Flowers? Why do you keep calling him Flowers?” Zach was glad to be distracted from the gorey sight.

“Kid wore flowers in his hair with a three piece suit, no tie, to a funeral.” The old man shifted on the cot and grimaced. The kid was boosting his healing factor but he was being careful. There wasn’t pain, not the sharp blinding sort, but Quire was smart enough to leave him with discomfort as a warning of what not to do. 

“In my defense, Gabby made me wear the flowers. And ties are so overrated.” Daken’s voice was strained but he still made no sound of discomfort. Staying perfectly silent was a skill that had, literally, been beaten into him.

“Flowers?” Bobby pulled a largish chunk of what looked to be part of the crashed ship out of Daken’s back. “Not what I’d pick if I were in charge of nicknames.”

“Oh please, do enlighten us what kind of nickname I should have.” Daken glanced over his shoulder and arched a brow at Bobby.

“You … you don’t know?” Bobby looked back at Daken perplexed. “I use it when we text.”

Zach whistled, “They text. No one told me that.”

Bobby ignored Zach as best he could, “Kitten, because you’re feisty, moody, likely to get into trouble, and more charming than any ten people have any right to be.”

“That’s why you keep using that emoji?” Daken blinked and then chuckled, looking away so he could pretend there wasn’t a hint of a blush on his cheeks. “I’ve been called a lot of things but _**Kitten** _ wasn’t on that list until now.”

Bobby put a comforting hand on Daken’s back as he looked for any last bit of debris caught in that quick healing flesh. “It’ll catch on, I’m a trendsetter. Also you can put your shirt back on.”

“What shirt? There’s nothing left of that shirt.” Daken let go of the seat and stretched, testing if he could still feel anything that shouldn’t be there.

Despite the audience Daken would feel Bobby’s eyes on his skin. The display being put on was not at all lost on him. Bobby drew back a few steps and then looked up at the cockpit to Quentin. Everything seemed fine in that direction, so Bobby looked back, “So, you crashed the birthday party Daken?”

“Something like that.” Sitting down he got one of the water bottles from under the seats and opened it, “Creed attacked him, apparently that’s tradition or whatever. Point is, I think that the old fuck would be dead if I hadn’t been here. And is wasn’t even my intention to safe anyone.”

“This sort of thing isn’t supposed to happen. Creed’s supposed to be under control. We don’t do infighting, not like this. Not again.” Bobby looked at Logan and arched a brow. “Creed, inverted or not, wasn’t actually on an X team though. So I guess it’s whatever. He’s not one of us.”

“He ain’t, he was an animal.” Logan sighed and shook his head, “Been tryin’ to point him, like a dog, at the right targets. Somethin’ came loose in him though. Gotta get a hold o’ Domino and Warpath, tell’em what’s happened.”

“Heh.” Daken made a face, caught somewhere between annoyance and an unusual sign of distress, “Animal is too kind for this … thing.”

Zach looked over at those words. Creed wasn’t an unknown, he made the news. 

“Might be you’re right Flowers.” Logan shrugged and closed his eyes. He was already planning his next move. 

Bobby shrugged and tried to play it cool. “When we get back Logan can make contact with his people. Amp, Omega, and Daken, you three should get some rest. I’ll talk to Kitty and give a full report.”

“It’s cute how you’re all sticking to codenames. Very super-heroeish.”

“Oh shut up.” Quentin rolled his eyes at Daken and settled down. _Something is off about this. Why would Daken have been in Mexico and why is he actively and aggressively keeping me out of his head?_

“Keep on pissin’ on ‘em, that’s the name o’ the game hu Flowers?” Logan sat up and waved Zach off, “I’m fine, enough, leave me be.” His eyes locked on Daken, “They came for you, for one o’ their own.”

Bobby swallowed and tried not to meet Daken’s gaze. What Logan said was true, they had come for both of them, but Bobby had rushed for Daken’s sake.

His eyes narrowed and there was a dangerous glint in them, “I saved your ass, old man. Be damn glad I bothered considering that your face makes me want to puke my guts out.” Pushing up from the seat Daken headed for the cockpit. The only damned place where no one was going to bother him. Hopefully.

Though three of the four of them wanted to go after Daken there was little contest. Zach sat down in the copilot’s space and smirked at Daken. “So you saved his sorry behind. You guys fell out of the sky, and you just walk away from it. How cool is that? Wow.”

Daken breathed in deeply, counted to ten and then looked at the young teenager. “That’s not quite how it happened but close enough. I’m glad Drake brought you along, the old man’s healing factor just isn’t the same anymore. Part of it, I believe, is in his head though.”

“I bypass that. Bet you’re right.” Zach shrugged, “You normally are. God, look at the peasants back there. Quire is different but in this he’s just like Logan and Drake, they just don’t get it.” 

“What don’t they get?” Daken arched a brow.

“You aren’t like them. Any of them. You’re special in a way most people just can’t understand. You’re a survivor, sure, but it’s more than that.” Zach looked over, a cleverness and cunning lay behind his as yet innocent eyes, “You’re a genius with a lifetime’s experience and learning, yet you don’t look thirty. You’ve only just started. All that life, all the things you’ve seen, the places you’ve been, and you’re still just at the beginning of the story. Logan’s at the end of his. Quire’s brilliant but he doesn’t have vision, he’s too caught up in his own stuff. Drake? That guy is a joke. Thirty something years in the closet, guy doesn’t even know who he is and he thinks he can help anyone let alone you?”

“Zach, I understand your dislike for Bobby but he’s not who you think he is. Not at all. There is something to him …” Daken looked out of the window and let his thoughts wander for a moment before continuing, “People are complex. Drake’s not just the guy who was stuck in the closet. He’s discovering himself, yeah but so are you. So am I. People change, they grow. You need to learn to put aside that initial dislike. Some day you’ll meet someone you can’t stand at first and if you’re stuck not changing your opinion, you’ll miss that they are actually really amazing.”

It stunned him. Zach waited for Daken to say more but when no more came he said, “All of that and you fixate on what I said about Drake?”

“Well, you’re right about the rest.” Daken reached over and gently fluffed that wild dark hair, “I’m only just starting to learn to live and I have no intentions of letting anyone take this from me again.”

That put a grin back on his face. Zach’s eyes grew large and he looked at his friend and mentor with hope, “Are you telling me you’re coming back with us for real?”

“I’m coming back but … I can’t promise that I’ll stay.” Daken sighed, “Look kid, my … _father_ is a liar. He doesn’t get it. He’ll never get it. I can’t trust him.”

“Then we kick him out and keep you.” Zach reached over and put a hand on Daken’s arm. “Screw him. Forget him. Parents are generally horrible anyway.”

“Laura loves him. Gabby loves him. I’d never take someone from them who can make them smile.”

“They love you, and you make them smile, so don’t take yourself away, idiot.” Zach sighed and shook his head. “Seems the only answer is to get Logan, back from the dead Logan, to pull his head out of his ass and make things right with you, which, considering that it’s you, isn’t going to be easy.”

“It’s not.” Daken nodded absently and then said, “Go annoy the old fuck, I need some rest. I’ve put my healing factor to good work.”

“Sure thing boss.” Zach hopped out of the chair with vigor and then gave Daken a knowing wink, “I’ll check on your Snowflake, and see if I can’t impress Quire with a few tricks. Get your beauty rest, I’ve got this.”

Leaning back into the seat heavily Daken watched the clouds outside the window for a long moment before closing his eyes. _Kitten. Ha. You’ve got an odd sense of humor, Bobby. Guess you don’t know what my name means since you don’t speak Japanese. Kinda cute._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nausi here! We have let the cat out of the bag. There is a lot going on in this chapter, but one of the biggest reveals is Quentin's. This is a huge deal for so many reasons. Finn and I would both be thrilled and honored if people let us know how this reveal made them feel. As with everything out in TDYK we both labored and debated a great deal over whether or not to take Quentin's character in this direction, and if we should leave it as subtext or not. In the end we decided to go all in, and add more diversity and representation into our cast. 
> 
> There are lighter things going on here, such as the nicknames, and some of the things Zach says, but overall this is a heavy chapter. It's a long one as well. If you have questions, concerns, compliments, curiosities, anything, please feel free to message us here. Our tumblrs are linked above. If you feel the need to have a private conversation please reach out. If you want to use the anonymous feature please do. Finn and I understand that it can be scary to talk about things that are near and dear to us. Thank you, gentle readers, for coming along with us. 
> 
> -Nausi


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken is back at the school and there are things that need to be talked about whether he likes it or not. And given that he’s trying to be a better person, he puts in the effort to hold out an olive branch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Therapy, Mentions of Sexual Themes, Bad Parenting, Good Parenting, Apologies, Forgiving, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Murder
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

It was odd to be back. And not in the way Daken expected it to be. Rather than feeling uncomfortable and out of place, he was settling back into being here with an ease that unsettled him. It felt almost like coming home. A feeling he only knew with a bitter aftertaste to it because the only _home_ he had ever come back to was a person. Romulus. And that had been anything but safe and comfortable, no matter the lies that Romulus whispered and no matter the lies Daken had told himself. It had been as close to home as he got but it really had not been home at all. A bit of a complicated mess really but at the end of it, he knew that this odd sensation was linked to feeling like he belonged here. At the school.

Not that Daken thought it was going to last. Pryde had already shown up and given him her unwanted and annoyingly uninformed opinion. That woman had some potential but she was about twenty years too young for the responsibility she was shouldering. It was clear that she hadn’t moved past a lot of childish, instinctive reactions. Pryde heard one side of the story, in bits and pieces, and just decided to cast him as the villain. That was fine. Daken was excellent at that role and if he didn’t care for his siblings, he would have happily played with her. As it was, her stupid opinion was just one more reason why Daken didn’t understand how this could feel like home.

The other reason was a certain asshole father who apparently had spent the majority of the last two days brooding in his room and pretending the world was ending because Daken left. As if it wasn’t his fault. Still, if they had to co-exist they had to be able to look at each other, talk with each other and work together. And if Laura had taught him anything it was how to hold out an olive branch and offer some sort of peace.

Knocking on the door to Logan’s quarters he made a face and frowned. There was quite the smell coming from the room. Alcohol, cigar smoke, frustration, anger, self loathing and something that might have been regret. It was anything but pleasant.

“Come in.” Logan looked up from the old armchair he was seated in. The thing had been in storage covered in drop cloth, as though it were worth something, as if someone would want it. He looked up and met Daken’s gaze. “Heard you were back. What do you want?” The cherry of his cigar glowed in the dim light, bouncing slightly as he spoke. 

“World domination, a blowjob, a nice little beach house on a private island …” Daken said it without a hint of emotion in his voice and then added, “But mostly I want you to stop smoking in my presence.” Walking past Logan he opened the windows wide.

With a significant sigh Logan put out the cigar by smothering it in a clenched fist. His eyes were bloodshot and red rimmed. “You’re in the wrong place for that list.”

“I’m aware.” Daken opened the mini fridge and got a bottle of water which he pushed into Logan’s hand as he settled down on the couch. “Are you aware that I stole your bike?”

“Yeah, figured that out when our jailbirds got home.” Logan shrugged and looked at the bottle he’d been handed. 

“Drink. You look like you’ve been trying to kill yourself with liquor. That doesn’t work by the way.” Daken leaned back and crossed his legs, “I kinda lost the bike in Mexico.”

Logan rolled his eyes and didn’t drink. “You brought home an older uglier me. The pair o’lost my bike in Mexico. Laura and Gabby have been worried sick.” His own worry wasn’t voiced, Logan sat quietly watching Daken. 

“Don’t be so rude to your interdimensional older self. For being near two hundred years, he looks pretty good. Still a fucking asshole too.” Daken sighed and then reached into his pocket, throwing a key at Logan.

It was caught neatly despite Logan’s sorry state. He gave the ring and key a cursory examination. “You don’t owe me shit Daken. And me? Well a stolen bike doesn’t even start to even it out on my end. You made it clear where we stand.”

“I made absolutely nothing clear. You told me my abuser is alive, the fuck did you think I was going to do? Be overjoyed and fall into your arms?”

There was another rather significant and almost theatrical sigh, “Sometimes you’re an idiot. I knew what was gonna happen Daken. Why’d you think I waited as long as I did? I couldn’t stomach the idea o’ you livin’ that lie anymore. If somehow Romulus showed up and I hadn’t spoken up … I couldn’t live with that so I told you the truth.”

“Then why would you judge my initial reaction to this as anything but what it was – acting out. Like a child. There was nothing rational about going off on a rant and then leaving for Mexico. Don’t take that and think that you know how I feel about you. About us.”

Logan shifted and cracked the seal on the water bottle, “Seemed to me you were bein’ honest, like you weren’t pretending for someone else’s sake.”

“I hate you.” Daken said it easily and there was nothing but honesty in these blue eyes, the look didn’t change when he continued, “And I -” He made a face, clearly not comfortable with the word but still meaning it, “I love you. You’re my Father. We don’t get to choose our parents, that’s not how life works. You’ve failed me more times than I care to think about but I haven’t been easy either.”

With a confused look on his face Logan got to his feet and crossed the distance between them, “Daken I know I’ve made mistakes, if you never wanna forgive me I’ll be the last person complainin’. Not because I don’t want you …” His voice grew thick as the emotions rose up and eventually choked off the words. 

The approach made him tense and there was a wary look cast at Logan, “You need to give me space. I can’t just get over this and pretend it doesn’t hurt. I know how you feel about me, you made that pretty clear since coming back from your vacation in the afterlife. But that doesn’t change that I feel betrayed.”

“Leave.” Logan swallowed and motioned at the door with his head. “Not in the mood to beat myself up over any o’ this again.”

There was a pause and then Daken stood up, “Nice to see how understanding you are with survivors. I ever see you give Gabby or Laura shit for flinching, you’ll have a couple more holes in your body.” Turning away he walked for the door.

“You’re right.” Logan put a hand over his face and groaned. “I’m not good at this. S’why we’re in this shithole o’ a situation to start with. I know I was wrong about you, I know I screwed up. It hurts.”

“Stop being an idiot then. It won’t get any better, any easier by pushing me away. That’s just more guilt, more self loathing, more mistakes. I’m making myself vulnerable here and your damned reaction is to scold me for being nervous?”

“It’s not you I’m mad at.” Logan shook his head and then grunted, trying to work through what his feelings were doing to his voice, “S’me Daken. I’ve been cruel and stupid. I should’ve … I should’ve - We should be past this. We’ve got the same enemy, we want a lot o’ the same things, we love a lot o’ the same people. We should be past this, and we’re not because I’ve fucked things up so bad you have reason to be nervous when I stand the fuck up because I do stupid shit like -” Again his voice broke off. 

“Getting my mother's killer to shoot me in the head? Have a telepath violate my agency? Drown me in a puddle?” Daken turned back and looked at Logan, “Yeah, in comparison my little fake bomb stunt and gutting you that one time really weren’t that bad.”

“Like I said, I’ve done a shit job Daken. You’re too much like me and I’ve made it impossible for us to even talk to each other.”

“I’m not like you, Logan. I never have been. You just project your own self hatred on me because you cannot let go. That’s always been the problem, hasn’t it? You just won’t let things go. I’d suggest therapy, apparently that shit actually works.”

“With as messed up as my mind is I’m not sure it’d do me much good. I’m always second guessing my memories.” Logan licked his lips and let out a deep breath. “Thank you, for the bike. You havin’ it out meant I couldn’t escape from the reunion and that was good.”

“So am I, you know. I can hardly tell where the conditioning ended and where I started. It’s exactly why I need to talk. You should try it, it’s the newest trend around here. Drake, Quire, me – all the fucked up ones are getting some therapy. Gabby too but that’s not quite the same.”

“I’m not talkin’ to no shrink.” Logan shook his head.

“Because you aren’t where I’m yet. You’ll get there. One day you’ll wake up and realized that if you keep going like this, everyone you care about is going to end up hating you or worse.” Daken shook his head and then crossed his arms, “Either way, I’ve checked your information. Mas- ...” He made a face and corrected himself angrily, “Romulus is indeed still stuck in the Kennel . Also checked my chances of breaking in there and they aren’t looking so good.”

“What would you do once you were in? I’ve done my research too. There is no Muramasa blade, and the bullets made from it are scattered, and guarded.” Logan cocked his head, curious about the slip, “How were you goin’ to kill him?”

“Who says I was going to kill him? Clearly I am more likely to crawl back into his lap.” Daken looked away, upset with himself for the slip and for not having a good answer.

“You’re not a coward or anyone’s creature. He tricked you for a long time Daken, but not anymore.”

That drew a laugh from him and Daken looked at his Father with a cold expression, “ _Tricked_ me. Oh that’s adorable. I think that might be the nicest way I’ve ever heard to describe training me like a fucking dog. Kick the dog often enough he’ll be afraid, do it too much and he might bite back. Not so much if you keep offering the carrot alongside the stick.”

Rather than railing back at the laughter Logan remained calm and collected. He had lost control of himself once, and he did not mean to let that happen again. When he spoke it was with care, thoughtfully chosen words, and emotion unmasked, “You run circles around me, around just about everyone. Reed couldn’t even get a fix on you. Romulus had to twist you against yourself and trick you into thinkin’ you were what he wanted you to be. That’s the only way I can figure for you bein’ how you are now. If he’d broke you there would be nothin’ left. You’ve proved he never succeeded.”

They stood there just looking at each other. This was possibly one of the strangest situations Daken had found himself in for a good long time. There was so much baggage between them that any honest word almost sounded like mockery and yet at the same time Daken found it hard to remind himself not to trust. This whole sticking around the good guys thing was apparently getting to him.

“Some days I miss him. Life was a whole lot easier without being in control.”

“In my nightmares I miss him.” Logan’s throat worked and a shadow of fear fell over his face, “There’s always this woman’s laugh, when I turn to see who it is all I see is red and then I feel his breath on my neck.”

“A woman …?” Daken frowned and tried to recall if there had ever been a woman in Romulus life that he knew of. Nothing came to mind. All he did remember was a few prostitutes. “I don’t remember him being close to any women.”

“I should remember, but I don’t.” Logan shook his head, “Everything was sorted out, didn’t last long.”

“Does it really matter? Does any of this matter? I can’t get to Romulus and even if I could, I don’t have a plan on how to kill him. I don’t want to think about him, or anyone who worked for him, with him. That’s in the past and I’ve fought hard to leave that behind.”

Logan nodded. “Don’t think about him then.”

“Easier said than done.” Taking a deep breath he shook his head and then said, “You need a shower and for fucks sake, drink some water. You’re a father and a grandfather, so act like an adult.”

That softened Logan’s expression, “You seen him then? Shogo. He’s a sweet kid.”

“Sweet and annoyingly hyperactive. Gabby and him at the same time is the reason I will go gray before I make it to a hundred years.”

“They’re perfect.” Logan nodded and then let out a heavy sigh, “Get outta here. I need to clean up. Ororo said the same thing to me.” Logan turned away but spoke over his shoulder, “I’m glad you’re back.”

Daken reached for the door handle and then said, almost like an afterthought, “ _Tadaima.”_

“ _Okaeri_.” Came the answer, warm with feeling. _Welcome home son, welcome home._

* * *

The day was growing old but was not yet over. The sun was not quite touching the treetops as Ororo moved through the gardens looking for a specific person. Though she appeared calm and quite self possessed Ororo was almost drunk on freedom. They way she had ended her stay in that horrible place made this stroll all the sweeter. Still she had a goal, and she was not one to be easily distracted. It was simple to find him, a few questions, a little time invested, and she had her eyes on the youthful seeming man in question. Logan’s son, older than herself but young still. Though she had heard of him this was the first she was seeing of him first hand. The way Bobby spoke of Daken had changed. Before her stay in the Box Bobby had been unwillingly understanding of the effects the Death Seed had. Now he seemed more than understanding. Invested would have been a better word. She approached Daken quietly, almost sorry to disturb him. He sat with his hair falling over one shoulder, his eyes closed, legs folded in lotus position, clearly in meditation. Ororo smiled as she neared, “Hello Daken. Perhaps you have a little time to spare in making my acquaintance?”

Her voice was not one he was familiar with but he had heard it before. Daken did not open his eyes or move out of the meditation position but instead gave the air a sniff. Storm. Ororo Munroe. That scent he knew because Logan had smelled of her when _it_ happened. It was a nice scent. Rain and earth, a blooming flower and a hint of coffee. “You’re one of my father’s … more special friends. I recognize your scent from him.”

Another woman would have blushed but not her. Ororo looked at how his lashes rested against his cheeks and smiled a little, “Logan and I are close. That has been true for a very long time, but you were already a man when he and I met. So perhaps it is not as long as it seems.”

“Time becomes a strange concept when it leaves no signs behind. Slow aging has it’s downsides but not many.” Opening his eyes he looked at her and paused. Daken had seen pictures but he had never met Munroe in person. That long white hair with the soft silvery glow, the rich tone of her skin and these light blue eyes – Daken could see why Logan would be tempted. A beautiful woman was hard to resist when one was inclined that way. “Hm, it appears that pictures do not do your beauty justice.”

The compliment earned Daken a warmer smile. “It is good to have ones name come before them and still impress on first sight.” Ororo knelt down in front of him, fully aware that if he did not relish the meeting he would have said so by now. “I haven’t seen photos of you but it was easy to pick you out from Bobby’s descriptions.”

“What did he say? _Guy about my height, has a mohawk, dresses like a pretentious shit?_ ” Daken looked rather amused at the idea.

“Not quite those words but near enough.” Ororo shrugged, “He mentioned you being hard to look at for long due to your ‘offensively pretty face’. I am not sure I agree with him entirely but you are pleasing to look at.”

“Drake just has a thing for people of Asian decent.” Waving a hand he shifted and got more comfortable, back leaning against the tree trunk. “So, are you planning to marry my old man?”

Her expression darkened but her demeanor remained open. “I was married once. I do not believe I ever will be again.” With a shrug Ororo dismissed the old hurt and turned back to the first part of Daken’s statement, “I do not think Bobby has a taste for your heritage but for men of a certain sort. The change in his opinion of you does not surprise me.”

“If it’s not marriage then I’m lost on why you’d want to get to know me.” Daken ignored the conversation about Bobby easily. The last thing he wanted to think of right now was the mess of emotions he felt towards that damn man. “Are you worried I’ll harm your family?”

It did not surprise her but it still gave Ororo cause to pause and regard Daken quietly. “If I believed that we would not be sitting here having a pleasant conversation. I love Logan and Laura is, if not like a daughter to me then nearly as important. Gabby is a delight. Bobby is a dear friend and a respected peer. Remy made a point to tell me not to judge you quickly, but to hear what it is you leave unsaid and look at you with kind eyes.” There was an amused smile on her lips as she continued, “It seems you are loved by those I love Daken, so I would know you for myself.”

“Loved …” He looked up at the sky above them and just shook his head. There was a part of him which would maybe never accept that. He’d been too young when Romulus started to build on the lack of love that his adoptive mother had shown him. “Alright, what do you want to know? There’s not much to me aside from a long, long list of misdeeds.”

“Gabby tells me you are quite the cook, and an excellent hair model.” Her teeth flashed white against lips painted a deep ruddy brown. “Perhaps there is more to you than you give yourself credit for.”

“I’d say I make a decent older brother for my siblings, yes but that’s hardly something to boast about. I see it as a natural concomitant of having siblings.”

Ororo chuckled a little at that and shook her head, “I have no siblings so perhaps I am not the one to gainsay you but I do not think it is as easy and natural as you make it sound. Especially because it sounds as though you and I have a little in common.”

“Us? What could we have in common aside from the connection to Logan?”

“I grew up an orphan and the plaything and slave of something dark and twisted.” Again her expression darked, this time more deeply. “I do not know if you have heard of the Shadow King. He was my master and he made a weapon of me.” 

There was a pause as Daken took her in again. This time not just physically. There was something about the way Munroe held herself, how she gestured and that smile she had. Daken reached for his pack of smokes and said almost casually, “I’ve worked with the Shadow King.”

That took Ororo aback. It surprised her though it did not leave her speechless, “When and to what ends did you work with this fiend?” 

“Few years back.” Daken shrugged and lit his cigarette before continuing, “He was part of Creed’s and Mystiques big plan to make baby Apocalypse grow up quick and evil. I was just along for the ride to get a bit of one on one time with Wolverine.”

Ororo relaxed visibly. “It seems you have not always had such good taste in those you surround yourself with by choice, but I can hardly fault you for that. Logan made many mistakes in regards to you. If he had made one or two fewer perhaps those events would not have come to pass.”

“That’s one way to put it. Maybe if he double checked that his offspring really died than I would be a mentally stable person today. Who knows. Whatever happened, happened.”

That was a story she knew, and one that she could not speak on now though she felt Daken was not seeing it truly. It was not her place. Instead she subtly guided the smoke from Daken’s cigarette away from herself as she spoke, “Logan has been wrong about you from the start. Your place has been here with us for as long as he’s known of your existence. That is what I came here to tell you. I know Kitty is worried and that she has expressed that to you. I want you to know her opinion is not shared by most of us. I have stolen and killed, I have been used against my will. I only became something else because I was given space to grow.”

“You X-Men are all insane.” Daken chuckled and shook his head, “I could snap and when I do, there won’t be many of you left afterwards.”

“You are surrounded by peers Daken. We have powerful telepaths, able ferals, effective elementals, and myself, a woman with powers awesome enough she was once worshiped as a goddess.” Ororo shrugged. “It is a risk, but what are we if we turn our backs on you? Is any of this worth it if we allow fear to turn us into hypocrites?”

His eyes narrowed and he looked at her directly, “You threw your own away before. Why would I trust that you won’t do it with me when I don’t quite fit into your narrow world view? You, all of you, are already hypocrites. I’ve got no real opinion on the question of Wolverine against Cyclops but I sure as hell know that Summers was supposed to be family and everyone turned on him.”

Again the light left her eyes. Ororo shook her head, remembering with a heavy heart the bitter words she had said. “Scott Summers is a hero, more than that he was a good man, and a true friend. You are correct, we, myself included, turned away from him. Scott was not himself after watching our kind be decimated by Wanda Maximoff’s hysterical words. Scott had only barely started to recover when Stark’s folly placed him in the path of cosmic fire. The Phoenix was never meant for him, and it drove him well and truly mad. I watched it burn him and make a mockery of a noble spirit. I saw the madness of it in all he did ever after. Perhaps for a time he was still mad, but I listened to Logan when I should have listened to my own heart. I cannot tell you how it has pained me, how I wished that I could have taken some of that burden, or how I have condemned myself for only taking up his banner once he was gone instead of fighting shoulder to shoulder with him.” Ororo did not look down but met Daken’s gaze head on, unashamed to bare her mistakes before him. 

For a long moment Daken regarded her with a cool look but it melted away eventually and he asked, “If you think you’ve made a mistake not being by his side, on his side, then how come you’re letting someone run this show who is so obviously not up to the task? My baby sister would be a less annoying leader and she’s in that phase of growing up where she loves being annoying.”

“How can I lead when I’ve made such a terrible mistake? It was in my power to bring Scott back into the fold. There would have been fighting but it could have been done. At worst he and his team could have become a sort of Xforce, functioning outside our official sanction but with our blessing. What a difference that would have made to Scott.” Here she did close her eyes for the grief was still green, still alive in her. “Oh Bright Lady, would he still be alive?”

“Maybe. You can’t undo what you’ve already done though. I barely know any one of you people but that makes me a pair of fresh eyes looking at the whole. What I see is a young woman in charge of a school and a bunch of super heroes when she can’t even seem to make healthy decisions for herself. That’s like giving me a team which I would not accept and not recommend. Pryde might have the qualities for the job but she doesn’t have the maturity. Not yet.”

“She isn’t doing this alone.” It was clear when she opened her eyes that as much as she welcomed Daken’s opinion nothing was going to change from just this talk. Ororo had no intention of challenging Kitty for the reins of leadership. “If Logan were to seek the role I believe she would give it to him, or at the least accept him as a co-Headmaster. Bobby would also make a fair counter balance, though I doubt he will seek that responsibility.”

“He wasn’t bad at the job.” Daken made a thoughtful sound and then shrugged, “It’s really not my business either way. I’m not an X-Men.”

“Not yet.” Ororo stood then and smiled at Daken. “I host a meditative works retreat every Wednesday evening. Now that I have my freedom again I mean to resume that, villians and world ending events allowing. You are invited to come.”

“It would be my pleasure.” As Munroe stood, so did he. “Don’t let my old man make your life too hard.”

“It is always more interesting with him in it.” Ororo smiled a little brighter and then turned away. There was a shadow over her heart, and a weight she did not know how to shed. Still even so dulled she moved through the falling twilight as a star through the night sky.

 _What a strange, fascinating woman. I see the appeal even if I can’t say I’m interested that way. Certainly not the worst choice Logan has ever made._ Daken sighed and then grabbed his book and the bottle of water before heading towards the school. He’d had enough of people talking to him for one day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translation:**  
>  ただいま (Tadaima – I’m home)  
> おかえり (Okaeri – Welcome home)
> 
> Nausi here! Hello friends. This is one of those transition and quiet moments chapters. A lot has happened in a very short period of time, and there is still a lot more to come. We followed Daken through a day of conversations and introspection here. I like thinking about what it has to be like for newcomers joining the X-Men. For Daken I’ve always imagined it must be bittersweet. This is the life that might have been. During his time with Creed, the idea of Logan bringing Daken to the school and trying to help him is brought up. It is something that Daken seems to brush aside angrily but I think that deep down, this is what he’s wanted for a long time. Though he is not as altruistic as the mission statement of the school, he is not all that different from many of the current members of the team. 
> 
> If we start combing through the X-Men lineup we can easily find characters with dark pasts. Look a little closer and you find people who go back to those ‘bad habits’ from time to time. Remy LeBeau is a prime example. Hank McCoy does some supremely stupid things playing god as well. It made a lot of sense to me to have Ororo come and say it loud and clear. In fact it was very important to me to have someone with long standing authority put their stamp of approval on Daken. 
> 
> I handled the dialogue for Ororo and am more than a little nervous about it. I hope that I managed to capture her easy grace and regality without going over the top. Ororo is a delightful challenge. 
> 
> Thank you for your time, comments, and thoughtfulness gentle readers. Get ready, things are not about to stay calm for long.  
> -Nausi


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Apologies still tasted of ash but they came more easily to him now. Daken knew he was making progress, it just felt like everything took too long - even more so considering all the things he wished he could do. One of them was something he has never done before but for once he made the call not to jump into the icy water head first. Good things come to those that wait, or so they say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Childhood Abuse, Implied/Referenced Death, Implied/Referenced Violence, Implied/Referenced Grooming, Implied/Referenced Conditioning, Abandonment Issues, Therapy, Recovery, Exposure Therapy, Sibling Bonding, Friendship, Character Growth
> 
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It had been no simple thing to get Gabby to go to bed. Though she had waited quite patiently for her brother to come see her after his unplanned trip - once she had him, Gabby had not wanted to let go. Understandably Gabby was not reasonable or calm when it came to expressing herself and dealing with separation anxiety. She was young and had already lost so much. All her sisters, save for one and Laura herself, were gone. Bellona was stuck in prison, a fact that troubled both Gabby and Laura endlessly. No amount of letter writing would make that right. So it came as no surprise that Gabby had clung to Daken as though her life depended on it once he showed up at their dorm. No amount of coaxing or cajoling had been equal to the task of soothing her. Gabby was insistent that they not only have ice cream but that they play twister and take Jonathon on a walk, and have dinner, and watch a movie, and take turns reading poetry to each other. Gabby had a deep love for Edgar Allan Poe and things written in the Lovecraftian spirit which Daken almost too happily engaged. 

Laura leaned back and sighed as Gabby snuggled closer to Jonathan. The wolverine had very graciously agreed to play body pillow tonight. She and Daken were both silent as they stood a few feet from the foot Gabby’s bed, watching her rest. Laura didn’t know how long they gazed at Gabby’s peaceful profile. It was soothing to have a moment of respite. Laura looked over at her brother and for the first time since whatever had happened between their father and Daken Laura let feel. She reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. Comforted by the fact that he had come home to them. “Thank you.”

“I'm sorry.” Daken sighed and then wrapped his arms around her, holding Laura and stroking her hair. “I never should have left in the first place.”

“You needed to figure it out on your own terms. We both knew you were struggling but there wasn’t much that we could do.” Laura leaned against her brother’s chest and closed her eyes. “I’m not mad.”

“You never are, little sister. You’ve always been understanding with me, no matter what kind of idiotic choices I’ve made.” There was amusement in his voice but above all there was warmth and affection.

“You always come back, and you always get better.” Laura held onto him tighter. 

Daken was not sure how long they just stood there. It felt like hours and seconds at the same time. Eventually he broke the silence with a soft sigh followed by words he wished weren’t true, “M- … _Romulus_ is alive.”

That took her by surprise. Laura looked at Daken with a new sense of understanding. “That would send me running, if I heard that Kimura were alive … I don’t know that sane sensible calm choices would be easy for me to make.”

“In my defense; I tried for three days.” Daken shook his head and sighed, looking for once in his life like the seventy something year old man that he was. The moment passed as he added more lighthearted, “Constantly contemplating creative ways to murder Logan kinda got a bit overwhelming though. I had the option of giving in or leaving. I picked leaving and going out on a hunt for Creed.”

“I do wish you had told me _before_ you left.” Laura sighed, “Gabby let Jonathan try to eat Logan's leg.”

That drew a chuckle from him and Daken looked proud, “Good girl. Good pet! Tell me you captured that on video please?”

“Gabby has it, she will show you.” With a shake of her head Laura smiled, glad that the mood had been lightened for a moment. She took that opportunity and lead Daken to the sofa. 

Once they were settled in, all wrapped up in each other, Daken continued their talk. “I know where _he_ is and I know I can’t do anything about it. So while I’m obviously not happy, I won’t be leaving again. Where would I go anyway? Being where you and Gabby are is the closest I get to having a home.”

“We don’t normally stay at the school.” There was a bit of a mischievous grin on her face, “I haven’t lived here properly in years. I like having Gabby here, and telling her that this is where we need to be if we want to see you makes getting her to go to classes a lot easier.”

“I know. I think it’s good for her to be here. She needs to be around other teenagers who didn’t … who haven’t grown up in a laboratory. Logan brought you here when you were about fourteen and I think it made a difference. You turned out pretty well.”

“I hated him a little for it. I hated being left behind.” Laura leaned in and closed her eyes, “I’ve promised myself I won’t do that to Gabby. Where I go she goes, and where she goes I go. It’s not always easy but it’s the right choice for us.”

“I didn’t say leaving you was the right choice. It wasn’t. Though, considering how fucked up our father is, maybe it was better he didn’t try to be more involved.”

“I’ve asked myself that a lot Daken. When I was angry I said the same thing to myself.” There was a quiet moment as Laura drew her words to herself, “I don’t think so now. Logan isn’t a bad parent, he’s bad at loving himself. It gets in the way of everything else. I’ve seen how he is with me, Kitty, Jubilee, and Quire. If he had cared enough about himself to stay, to really dedicate himself to being a parent, I honestly believe he would have done a fair job, and he would have been happy. The problem is with what Dad believes he deserves, not with how he feels about us.”

“That’s why I told the fucker to get some damn therapy. If I can sit down and _talk_ about my problems, so can he.”

“Maybe he will but Dad isn’t going to talk to us about it. He’s too proud, and we need to accept that he has a right to privacy about those sorts of things.”

“Pride is going to get him killed again.” Daken made a face and then sighed in annoyance, “I’m trying Laura, I want to make this work not just for you and Gabby either. I want it for myself but … half the time I also want to strangle him. He’s difficult.”

“You two are a lot alike.” It was said with love, but there was something else dancing in her emerald eyes; amusement. “He was beside himself after that talk the two of you had. He told me that he was a selfish fool that made everything about himself, that he was short sighted and prone to emotional reactions.”

There was a pause and then Daken admitted softly, “I don’t want to be like him. Romulus wanted me to be more like him. I was supposed to learn from Logan. All the lies, they were meant to motivate me into studying him but what Romulus never understood was that I did and then decided I don’t want to be like that. Every time someone tells me I am like Logan, it’s like a slap. It’s like I failed at the one little rebellion I had going for a good twenty years.”

“The two of you have pride and emotional reactions in common.” Laura allowed for that, unwilling to back down or change her tune just because Daken revealed to her that he did not want to be like their father. “Loyalty, passion, and a poetic soul, the two of you share those as well. I doubt those were the things Romulus wanted you to have.”

“No, that wasn’t what he wanted.” Daken shook his head and chuckled, “Logan, somehow, manages to hold power effortlessly. He doesn’t even want to, it’s not his aim in life and yet …”

“And yet he is always surrounded by powerful and capable people who respect him and would give a great deal to help him.” Laura nodded. “I don’t think that is something you can set out to learn. If you asked him about it I’m sure Dad would tell you it isn’t about power at all.” Again Laura smiled, this time she reached up and took some of Daken’s hair between her fingers and toyed with it idly. “It’s about love.”

“Yeah … I know.” Daken leaned against Laura and kissed her cheek, “I’ve learned that much in the last three years. It was never about power. I _was_ limiting myself. You were right _and_ wrong.”

“How was I wrong?” 

“Power never came to me easily. How would it when I grew up with a leash around my neck and the threat of punishment constantly hovering over me? Every bit of what I held, I fought for. Most of it was never power to begin with. It was a show, a fluke. I clung to the illusion of it but really … what power did I have? Money? Every fucking corporate CEO has that. Connections? I lost nearly all of them over the course of the last few years due to becoming too close to the good guys.”

Laura nodded and took in what Daken said. It was hard to place a value on such things, on contacts and leverage. Laura understood though. She’d had to live in a world that was colored by these things, and though she believed that what Daken was gaining had far more value, she understood that there was a loss, and a need for adjustment. Rather than interrupt him Laura nodded and waited for him to continue. 

“After that talk with you back in Madripoor - I realized all of that and panicked. I don’t think I’ve stopped being a bit panicked about it since. It’s still at the back of my mind but … I feel like being here, figuring myself out … it’s made that seem so much less important.”

“That is quite the compliment Daken.” Laura smiled and kissed the lock of his hair she had been playing with. “I love you too.”

“I know.” Stroking her hair he smiled and then made a face, “Love is messy. Feelings are messy. It’d be nice if they had an on and off switch.” Daken made a grumpy sound but then asked, in a soft and sort of unsure tone, “Have you ever … been _in love_ with someone?”

With a sigh Laura nodded, “I’ve thought I was.” After a moment she looked up into her brother’s eyes, “Maybe I was? Warren was very good to me, and I still care about him. We just didn’t match up.” Laura licked her lips and shook her head, “Yes.”

“I was, once. And no, I don’t mean the things I felt for Romulus. I’m not that delusional. That wasn’t love, that was … what’s it called again … Stockholm Syndrome. Yes, that. But there was a man who made me feel … incredible. It’s been a long time since but …” Daken licked his lips and looked away, “I haven’t forgotten how it felt and I’m … well … experiencing something similar to it right now.”

Normally it was Gabby who went wide eyed with excitement. It was Laura's turn now. Unlike their sister Laura didn't exclaim or gasp. She took a moment to gather herself and then asked the only question that mattered, “Who?”

Her excitement was cute and it delighter him for a moment to have brought that expression to her beautiful face but then he realized he had to answer. Daken sighed heavily, closed his eyes and then said, “Bobby.”

“Not Johnny?” Laura blinked and frowned slightly. “Bobby did check on Gabby and I, Bobby was also the one who assure me that he'd make sure you got a room and that he'd see you could join a team if you wanted.” It was surprising. Even with all the jokes and looks Laura had never guessed that Daken might feel something more than friendship for Bobby. 

“Johnny? You thought …” Daken paused and then laughed, “No way. I adore him, I do but I’m not … he’s not my type I guess? Romantically anyway. Johnny is attractive and I know for a fact he is a good lay but that’s sort of the problem. We already went there and I don’t … it didn’t work out, at all, the last time.”

“I just thought Bobby would be … well too superhero for you.” Her brows rose. 

That made him groan and sink back into the couch, looking all defeated and annoyed at once. “I know, right? What the fuck am I going to do with someone like that? He is so _**good** \- it hurts._ ” Daken shook his head, “I don’t know, Laura. I have no explanation for this. No rational, logical reasoning. That’s what makes it real though, isn’t it? If I could explain exactly why I want him, it wouldn’t be right.”

“I’m not sure if that is always true but it … it is for a lot of people.” With another thoughtful sigh Laura rolled it over in her mind. “He isn’t a bad choice. Bobby has a big heart and he’s really started down a new path. More importantly, he seems to care about you.”

There was a long pause and then Daken said, “It can’t happen.”

Again Laura was surprised. This time she sat up and stared at Daken in confusion. “And why not?”

“I would ruin it.” Daken looked at her, expression serious but open, “I’d ruin him. Look at me Laura, I’m barely functional. I can’t even handle myself most days. So how would I keep a healthy, functioning, mutually beneficial relationship going?”

“You’re getting therapy and you’re making progress. It isn’t as though the two of you have to get together _right now_ or never.” Laura shook her head at him and sighed, “What if Bobby is in love with you? What if he’s feeling the same things you are?”

“I sure hope not because that’s going to be a long wait. Took about fifty years to fuck me up this much, probably takes twice as long to fix me.”

“So I shouldn’t date anyone till I’m in my forties?” Laura cocked her head and arched a brow.

Daken made a face and said in a mockingly serious tone, “You should never date. Period. I would be jealous and overprotective.”

“So I should give up on my feelings for Amara?” 

His eyes went wide and then Daken laughed, “Damn girl, you’re going for the fire when I’m after ice. Just please don’t try to date Johnny okay? That would be so awkward.”

“He’s a bit older than I tend to like my men at this point.” Laura shrugged lazily. “Amara is passionate and she doesn’t seem interested in holding anyone back. Her life is incredibly interesting. I’m not sure she’s interested in women, but I enjoy my time with her and I don’t plan on holding back if a chance to turn our friendship into something else appears. I’m not perfect, and I’m not going to live my life on hold waiting for everything to line up just right.”

“And I think you’re doing the right thing for yourself. But I’m just not ready to be with anyone. I don’t want to ruin whatever little chance I might have with Bobby.”

“So you’re telling me you aren’t giving up hope, you’re just being your normal nihilistic self about it?”

“Why does everyone keep calling me nihilistic? Am I that overdramatic?”

Laura simply looked at her brother with one brow arched and a quirk of her lips which suggested she was highly amused by his lack of self awareness in this.

“I’m _not_ that dramatic!” Daken slid his hands up to her sides and started to tickle Laura, “Take it back!”

Without even blinking she sat there, stock still, and stared at him as Daken did his worst. While he was very good at this Laura was just as good at not budging. There was a point to be made and so Laura was doubly invested in not letting him break the tension.

“Damn you!” Daken sighed and after a moment gave up, putting his head on her shoulder instead, “Fine. Maybe I am a bit dramatic. And maybe I’m a fool for not just trying to be with Bobby, given he even is interested. But I don’t want to fuck it up.”

“It’s fine not to be ready now. It’s not fine to give up.” Laura smiled and then whispered conspiratorially, “Did you forget Gabby? If I laughed she’d wake up!”

Daken cursed in several languages under his breath and whined, “I forgot! Sorry. No waking the clingy little sister. She has school in the morning.”

“You should get some sleep Daken.” Laura reached out and traced the shape of his face with one finger, “If you want to stay here, by all means, but you need your rest.”

Taking her hand the kissed the back of it and then smiled, “I’ll go back to my room and sleep like a good boy. After all, I have an appointment to keep with my therapist and I need to make sure to annoy Dad.”

Laura nodded then leaned forward to kiss his brow, grateful to have this easiness between them. “I’ll see you tomorrow dear brother.”

* * *

The Gold team had been home for something like four days. There was still an air of celebration in the halls. The old man had left almost as soon as he arrived. Somehow the Logans had managed not to run into each other. Daken was settling back in, and it seemed that he’d made some sort of peace with his father. Bobby was grateful, it was one less thing for him to worry about. Kitty wasn’t pleased with him. That was what Bobby had expected, and it was part of why he was running on four hours of sleep and energy drinks. There was a lot for Bobby to do, to hand off, to brief her on, all while she was less than pleased with some of his core choices. Thus checking in with Simon, and reassuring him that he had a place here at the school was one of his top priorities. 

After bringing Daken and the old man back two days ago Bobby had spent a long time with Kitty and Rachel explaining why he had gone after Daken without notifying anyone. The looks he got said it they weren’t satisfied with his reasoning but neither Kitty or Rachel had time to continue to worry over that situation with him. There were strange things happening, stranger than normal, floating kids strange in fact. Bobby was too tired to care.

All of this was why he had taken dinner alone in his room, and why he wasn’t out looking for Quentin or playing on his phone. People were terrible and Bobby was finished with them. All he wanted to do was snuggle up in his comfortable clothes and watch stupid movies. The Princess Bride played on his laptop, a soothing and laugh inducing distraction from the continuous battle he was fighting with his friend. 

The sound of his phone ringing demanded Bobby’s attention. Though he didn’t want to interact with anyone it was Daken’s ring, and the man was being quite insistent. 

****

> **D - __**_Hey Snowflake, got a moment?_

Rather than pick up his phone Bobby continued to watch the movie. It was the epic sword fight. A scene which he could reenact in his sleep. Every light, ever thrust, parry, grunt, and expression. All of it. For a time it was enough to distract him from the fact that Daken, among others, wanted his attention.

> **D - __**_I know you're there Snowflake_   
>  **D - __**_Talk to me_   
>  **D - __**_Boooobbby!_   
>  **D - __**_I'm persistent, you know_   
>  **D - __**_I can keep this up for hours_

Five more texts in fast succession were too much to ignore. With a frustrated snort Bobby paused the movie and picked up his phone. Daken wanted attention. Just like a cat. Bobby tapped out a quick message. 

> _What do you want Kitten ?_ **\- B**
> 
> **D - __**_There you are! I’ve got homework and you’ll be helping me._
> 
> _Homework? What?_ **\- B**
> 
> **D - __**_Yes. Homework. If you want to know, come meet me in the DR_
> 
> _This had better be good_ **\- B**

Bobby didn't know why he was agreeing to this. Still he closed his laptop and left his room without changing. If Daken didn't want to see him in his nerdy and comfortable pajamas he'd picked the wrong time for sparing. 

A cold, fresh wind greeted him as Bobby entered the Danger Room. Of course it was just a simulation but it felt real enough. The setting was a snowy countryside near a lake that was partly frozen. In the background was a camp with old school cabins, all wooden and shaped like little blocks. It was freezing, their breath visible in the cool, crisp air. Daken stood near the lake, only wearing a sleeveless shirt and a pair of comfortable black training pants.

Daken turned his head and arched a brow at the sight of Bobby’s clothing, “Well, that’s really not the right outfit. Or maybe it’s the perfect one. Looks cozy at least.”

The fuzz of Bobby's tribble slippers kept his toes warm. The scene was striking and confusing. He couldn't think of a reason for it. “Is this a misguided attempt to make me feel more at home? The era looks pretty internet and too Amish for my tastes.”

Daken looked over at the camp and gestured at one of the houses, “I lived there. For about two years.”

“You took the time to program this?” Bobby moved the snow out of his way by creating a pair of tiny ice beings to shovel it ahead of him. His slippers were precious. “Why would you do that Daken?”

“Exposure therapy.” Daken shrugged and cocked his head, “I’ve met my actual, certified therapist today. She’s nice and very blunt.” At first, Daken had not been sure if a woman was the right choice. Would a woman understand the trauma of being raped, as a boy, by another man? But after today Daken was more than sure that she was the right choice. There was something about her bluntness that sat right with him. Daken had never been a fan of people who talked endlessly around a subject. “Turns out, avoiding things that can’t actually hurt me isn’t the best life choice. Figures. But it’s also supposed to be bad for me to face it alone. So you’re going to keep me company for an hour or so.” A little smirk settled on his lips, “I mean, this is the kind of place where you _do_ feel at home right?”

“Cold places?” Bobby arched a brow. “I like winters in upstate New York sure. I like snow.” He looked around them again and then back to Daken. “I’m not sure any sane person could feel at home here. There’s a tension in the air.”

“Come, sit with me.” Daken settled down by the lake and motioned for Bobby.

There was no point in arguing. So he sat down next to Daken and watched. “So uh … we just gonna sit here and wait for something? Do we just … wait?”

“Figured we'd use the time to talk.” Daken shrugged and then asked casually, “Have you ever wondered how dying feels? I mean, in a literal physically way. Not some abstract philosophical manner.”

“Okay right to the ultra heavy stuff.” Bobby leaned back and shook his head. It was surreal and bizarre and almost too much. Still he stayed with it, finding that the comfort of being near Daken out weighted all the other elements of the situation. “Yeah I have. Morbid curiosity is sort’a part of the life I live, it has to be.”

There was interest in these clouded blue eyes now, “What do you think it’d be like?”

“That depends doesn’t it? Am I in iceform? Flesh and blood? Am I wounded? Drowning?” Bobby made a face, “Disintegrated? Ripped apart by magnetic forces?”

“Drowning is unpleasant. I would not recommend that one.” Daken shifted, clearly not comfortable being in such close contact with the lake or the icy cold snow. Still, he seemed to be intend on sitting through it. “Flesh and blood, something that’s slow. Something you can feel every moment of, something where you _know_ you are dying.”

“My powers malfunctioning.” Bobby made a face and swallowed, “I’ve thought of that, what it would feel like to freeze, to just feel it all, the life, the heat, the everything, just abandoning me.” 

There was a pause and then Daken shivered, his gaze far away and focused on nothing. “Hypothermia … it’s slow. Like the drip drip of water from a leaking faucet. You feel it in your hands first. Toes, ears, nose. By the time your legs and arms start to ache from the cold, you usually won’t be able to get away anymore. Then it starts to really _hurt_ as the tissue dies but after that? It stops hurting. You stop feeling _anything_. It’s just cold and you’re so, so tired. Your eyes close, your heartbeat slows, breathing halts – you won’t know it happened because you weren’t conscious for it.” His voice had been clinical as he spoke and it remained so as he added, “Some people will rip the clothes off their body because they feel hot right before the dying point. Some will experience incredible euphoria. It’s the brain shutting down.”

None of that was new information for Bobby. He was an ice elemental mutant who was also a nerd. Plenty of people thought he was just a goof but that was the outside, the part he wanted people to see. There was the part of him that was afraid of what he was on every level, that feared never being able to turn back, that feared losing everything, that feared dying alone in the way Daken had just described. Still the recitation had held Bobby’s attention. The dry clinical relation of the facts was betrayed by little things Bobby had come to notice about Daken. How he held still, or forced his voice to monotone uniformity. They were signs that he was deeply uncomfortable. Bobby reached out and took his hand. “It’s terrifying.”

The touch made him flinch but he didn’t draw back, just looked at Bobby in surprise for a moment before holding that warm hand. It was a point of focus, something to cling to. Daken welcomed that. After a few moments of silence he looked away again and said, “I’ve died from that. For one week, I died of it over and over and over – I don’t remember how often. I remember very little of it aside from the pain and that incredible fear. You see, with an intact healing factor, I can’t die from it permanently. My body goes through all the motions but as the brain shuts down, the healing kicks in and then for a little while it gets better and better – before the circle begins anew. All deaths that include the brain shutting down or being damaged are deaths that I can experience but that are not permanent. Goes for other organs too. Freezing, drowning, organ removal, bleeding out, poison …”

It touched on how they met again. How Bobby had impaled Daken on a comically huge ice shuriken and just left him there to bleed out till the thing melted. It had been cruel and stupid, like a kid pulling the wings off a fly. Bobby squeezed Daken’s hand and nodded. “It doesn’t surprise me, you hating the cold. That is horrific. How old were you?”

“Fourteen.” Daken breathed in deeply and then gestured around them, “It happened here. I just wasn’t allowed back inside because I was being punished. Oh I admit, it was a clever punishment. It certainly got the point across but more so … when _he_ came, picked me up and carried me inside … I wept and thanked him like a stupidly broken record.”

“Of course you did.” Bobby felt his brows knit. He turned on his side and looked at Daken. “You were a child and you were in unimaginable pain. Of course you were grateful when someone, anyone, showed up to end it. Of course you would have said or done anything to keep it from starting again.”

“He was the one who punished me in the first place.” Daken chuckled, “You’ve got to give that monster some credit. The way he shaped me, how he made me so completely depended … that never ending circle of hate and fear against God like worship and twisted love …”

“A genius monster is still a monster.” Bobby felt a pull in his gut, a desire to draw Daken into his arms. It was an impulse he couldn’t indulge. Their friendship clearly meant a great deal to Daken, it meant far more to Bobby than he’d been willing to admit a week ago. It was too important and precious a thing to risk. So their hands remained joined and Bobby tried to express in words to things he wanted to say with actions, “There’s no shame in having been a vulnerable child Daken.”

“Isn’t there? What about being twenty, thirty … _sixty_ and still rolling over like a good mutt?”

“You were groomed Daken, and you saw no other way. I’m not a philosopher or therapist. I can’t tell you when or if you ever became complicient.” Bobby swallowed and gave Daken’s hand another squeeze, “I can tell you it wasn’t at fourteen. This wasn’t your fault.”

Letting out a huff of air he closed his eyes, breathed and then looked directly at Bobby, “Bobby, I -”

The sound of Psychlock’s voice in both their minds interrupted whatever it was Daken had meant to say. Later he’d be grateful but in the moment, he felt like strangling the damned X-Force bitch with her fake Ninja bullshit and her stolen body.

_[All X-Men are to suit up and head to the hanger immediately. No exceptions. Possible Code Red activity.]_

“Shit that’s me.” Bobby got to his feet and pushed the hand that had been holding onto Daken’s through his hair, it was bellow his ears now, and quite curly. He looked at his friend and sighed. “No rest for the wickedly awesome.”

Daken did chuckle at that and stood up too. “End program.” As the scenery around them disappeared he asked, “There was something you wanted to tell me, want to talk later or is it quick?”

The look on Bobby’s face became more guarded at the mention of that, and it seemed as though he were embarrassed all of the sudden. “I already know the answer. I was desperate when I sent that message.” Since there was no time Bobby blew his frustration out hard and brought his eyes back from the bare ceiling to Daken. “I’m going to start my own team and I want you on it as my second in command.”

“Oh.” Daken frowned and then arched a brow, “You’re nuts but I like that about you. So … yes. But I swear if anyone starts calling me a hero, I _will_ stab them.”

“You won’t, but you’re welcomed to keep telling yourself that.” Bobby chuckled a little. There was sort of a manic edge to it. This was clearly not what he had expected, and there was no time to process it. He stepped back about a half foot and manifested a very classic looking claymore with a wild grin. “I now dub you,” The sword touched one of Daken’s shoulders and then the other, which Bobby needed height for which he attained by elevating himself on twin ice platforms, “Stabby McGillicutty, second in command of the purple team.”

“Is this what instant regret feels like?” Daken rolled his eyes and then nudged Bobby’s shiny ice sword aside, “Come on _Taichou_ , we have a job.”

Bobby had seen enough anime to know what that one was. He grinned a little as his platforms melted and he landed neatly in front of Daken. 

“Yeah, that feeling is my default state. Keep up Kitten.” Daken followed him down the hall as he tossed the comment back over his shoulder. Bobby felt a thrill race through him. At first he’d attribute it to achieving something, starting a team. Later, when he had time to think back on his clever jokes it would be the look on Daken’s face that stuck with him and locked into that feeling. It was the feeling of belonging and being accepted that had him practically running into the face of unknown danger. _Just another day in the life of a superhero!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translation:**  
>  Taichou (隊長) - Captain


	33. Chapter 33

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Phoenix is back. Or is it? Ororo wonders and when they find the answer to that question, they also find someone she has missed a great deal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Resurrection, Phoenix, Canon Divergent

Code Red, it turned out, was the ‘Planet level threat’ alarm of the X-Men. In this case the danger _seemed_ to be a Phoenix event. Daken knew what the Phoenix Force was and he knew what it had done in the past as well as what it had caused. The last time it had been around, there was a war over it and then five X-Men had played God for a while. Daken had watched the majority of it on television, not really interested in being involved with any of that crap. He had been living a life away from any and all X-Men business for a reason. The only thing he had made sure to do was call Laura and check if she was involved, which she hadn’t been.

Now the firebird was back, apparently, and everyone was a bit panicked. Daken was too busy being stunned by the realization of just how many X-Men there actually were to feel any sense of panic. Half of the people that he met today, he hadn’t seen before or even heard about in passing. There was also the confusing and uncomfortable part of actually seeing the mini version of Bobby Drake. Doubles were weird. And the rest of the Weapon X Team kept giving him looks while they were sitting in the auditorium; listening to Hank McCoy and Kitty Pryde explaining the situation.

Well, explaining was a funny word when no one had any clue what was actually happening. A lot of guessing and maybes was all that the two of them really had to offer. The only clear thing was that the Phoenix was coming and that meant everyone was afraid.

It did not end there though, they learned that all the Telepaths had gone missing. Daken had seen the look on Jimmy’s face as Pryde mentioned Quire being missing alongside the teenage version of Jean Grey, Emma Frost and the three Stepford Cuckoos. It seemed that this group had gone off the radar a few hours before the meeting. With none of the usual telepaths left, they had used Cable for Cerebro, and the poor guy had been taken out as well.

Daken was not scared of this Phoenix Force, but he could see why everyone was more than a little nervous. For the first time, he also understood why Quire would get a certain look in his eyes every time that thing was mentioned. It seemed that he had signed up for the X-Men just in time for the biggest event in recent history. Because of course he had. That was just his luck.

“So …” Daken leaned his arms on the pilot seat and looked down on Bobby, “You nervous too, Snowflake?”

With a disgruntled look on his face Bobby grunted, “Nervous, worried, and very, very tired. I think I need to drink about twelve more energy drinks.”

“None of that.” Daken waved a hand in disapproval, and then offered, “You need to be calm to do your job. Want some help? It worked that night when we watched movies.”

Bobby looked back at Daken, “I thought it was just the fancy buttery soft blanket, your sweet voice, and those magnificent guns you’re packing.”

The compliment was noted but filed away for later examination. There was no time for that sort of business right now. “You fell asleep and I had to shift to get comfortable. It woke you, so I cheated and made you calm down again.” Daken shrugged, “It's harmless.”

“So I didn’t dream trying to explain Lilo and Stitch to you.” Bobby shrugged. “What I need is to be alert, not calm, you’ll put me to sleep. Though if I’m being honest, I don’t know if it’ll work now. I was totally relaxed before. Still, I don’t mind you trying.”

“I've got a better idea.” Daken smiled softly and reached forward, fingertips settling in Bobby's temples so that he could work some tension out, “Pheromones are helpful but they can't do everything. Most of the time they just make people take notice of me more easily.”

“Trust me he already notices you.” Armor called out from the back.

“Well, I’m not blind!” Bobby relaxed and closed his eyes. “You are the best second ever, also when did you get so comfortable touching me?”

A faint hint of color crept into his cheeks but Daken played it off with a half truth, half joke, “I'm a slut, I touch people all the time.” He smirked and then added, “You do give the nicest compliments by the way.”

“You are my favorite slut.” Bobby purred the words to a chorus of giggles.

“Thanks?” Daken chuckled and continued his gentle work. They were on their way to the empty plot in Westchester, their flight was nearly over already.

Though they were putting on quite the show, nothing more than giggles came from behind them. _Maybe they’re just happy for the distraction._ When Bobby felt the jet begin to slow down and descend he reached up, stroked the backs of Daken’s hands, and pressed his face against one palm before letting go. “Alright people. Let’s start getting serious. We’re about to land and there's a school down there that shouldn't be.”

Daken pushed away from the seat, reached for his gloves and slid them on. This was, at least in theory, going to be interesting. They might be meeting a God and the last one Daken had met was kind of fun. As he followed the rest of the team out of the plane, a thought was forming in his head. A plan perhaps. Something he would need to further examine in a less stressful moment. _First we handle this. Then we can think about Romulus._

* * *

It was all a bit surreal. Ororo left the jet with the others and took to the sky. Her mind moved over the events of the last forty eight hours. They had pushed everything and everyone to the absolute limit; time, resources, bodies, hearts, and minds. Rachel and Cable were still unresponsive, Quire, the Cuckoos, and the young Jean Grey were all still missing. Teams had been to the North Pole, the Savage land, and all points in between that showed any promise or had any history with Jean Grey and the Phoenix. It had lead them to a conclusion that had been confirmed by an empty grave; Jean Grey was not at rest. That had left them in desperate need of a telepath, which had lead them to Emma Frost, who had lead them here, to this empty and unlikely spot where now they trespassed. It was a lovely place. The grand, wide open vistas painted in golds and oranges, the last glory of the setting sun. It tugged at her heart and made her feel heavy. This place did not want them. That much was more than clear. It was a place meant for solitude and perhaps, once in a great while, for love. 

The voices of her friends drifted up to her on the air.

“But there is nothing here.” Hank sighed and shook his head. Ororo could hear the strain in that rich low voice.

Kitty was equally strained, her voice showed how high strung and tired she was, “I _see_ that Hank. Look, Emma told us she believed Jean would come here.”

“We’re listenin’ to Emma Frost _again_?” That was Strong Guy, and he did not sound at all amused. 

“Emma played us for fools.” It was clear in Kurt’s tone that his heart was with Rachel. Ororo had to wonder if Jean’s soul was thinking of her daughter, or if she was totally enraptured by the Phoenix. 

“So what now?” Ororo could almost feel Dazzler roll her eyes at the inconvenience of the wasted trip.

“Magik, we’re leaving!” There was that command back in Kitty’s voice, but it sounded brittle to Ororo’s ears. It made her wonder about her choices, wonder about her position.

Ororo watched as Illyana walked from where she’d been standing; beside Kurt and Dazzler to Kitty. There was an air of confidence in her that said she was not ready to give up. “Wait. there is _something_ here -” Illyana approached the ledge and frowned, her soul sword came to her hand, “- making us all want to leave so much.” Illyana swung the sword and when she brought it down there was a terrible _CRNCCH KRAK_. “Ta-da!”

Strong Guy shrugged, “Well I guess we owe Emma an apology.”

Kitty shook her head, “Nah.”

It was Daken who put words to the obvious, “Okay I’ll ask, what the hell is that thing?” No one spoke. Everyone simply stood or floated, staring at that which had been revealed. A great dome which filled the small valley below them. It was red and pink, the colors of sunset, the colors of fire. Ororo watched as a door appeared in the dome and felt her hands tremble. 

And it was Bobby who filled the uncomfortable silence with another question, “Well, that was ominous. What now?” It was hard to miss the fact that Daken was there next to him, that he had fitted himself to Bobby’s side. Ororo would have liked time to pounder this, but events were continuing at full speed.

It did not surprise Ororo that it was Hank who spoke up, “Now we go through the door into the great unknown, Bobby.”

Hank was correct of course. They had no other choice. Ororo hung in the air with Warren and watched as Kitty made the call and the others bantered nervously. Theoretically they had the firepower to take on almost any threat. From Logan’s line alone they had five representatives. There were two powerful ice elementals, plenty of muscle, and herself. However none of that would amount to much against a cosmic entity, a goddess. 

Ororo entered the sphere and gazed at the world on fire. It was bleak and bright with pain. Her heart was heavy and unsurprised by the devastation they saw before them. The Phoenix was as Kali, a conduit of death and rebirth, a destroyer and mother. Here they were seeing the effects of that power as it sought out one who was its match. Kitty rightly called off any attempts to save the people they were seeing. None of this was real. This was, or had been, a seduction. It was not real, and it was falling apart. 

It was not unexpected that there was more to halt them than a fever dream on fire. It was only fitting that the Phoenix brought an army of their dead to fight them. After all, this magnificent being’s mind was preoccupied with bringing the dead back, with having that which was gone. Jean had been at rest. Having lived a hero’s life, her friend deserved a hero’s rest but it was not to be. Ororo knew that, in this at least, the Phoenix would not fail. It was a simple thing for the firebird, to chase back the grave. As they fought their way through the burning suburbs Ororo wondered if this was the gift the Phoenix meant to buy Jean with. _How can you know her so little? How can you believe that this is the price of her soul?_

As if her thoughts had triggered something their foes fell away. Ororo came to rest on the ground with the others, her heart heavy in her chest. There was a diner in front of them. There were only a few people within, but it was pristine and unharmed. A strong and imposing sight in the vast burning landscape. 

“What the hell is that?” Both Logans demanded and then glared at one another.

Illyana answered them with a quick of her lips, “It’s a diner.”

“I think we found what we are looking for.” Kitty said with a nod, satisfied with their progress.

Ororo was not at all surprised by Bobby’s quib, “Do you think they have waffle fries?”

“Shut up, Bobby.” Lorna was not as calm as she seemed. Her words were followed by a tense silence. They could see Jean inside the diner. They could see her looking out with eyes that did not see them. 

“She’s coming out.” Illyana stood ready.

“Jeanie!” The Logans spoke as one and bumped into each other. 

Ororo stood by as Jean brought out the trash and did not see them. Everything shrunk down, centered on Jean, the look on her face, and it was not till Jean went back inside that Ororo heard anything else.

Bobby shook his head, “This is real bad.”

“So ...” Daken looked at the group of people around him and then asked, “Who is the fool that goes in there and tries to have a moment with … Jean Grey?”

It surprised exactly no one when the young Scott Summers moved first. _But is that really the answer?_

It was the old Logan who stopped Scott though Ororo herself was not far behind. “You got stones, kid. But it should be me.”

“You?” Scott glared at the old man, “No way. You don’t belong here any more than I do. That’s not your Jean Grey. It’s not mine either. If it’s anyone’s it’s his.” Nodding at the Logan that actually belonged to this universe Scott crossed his arms. “But I don’t think any Wolverine should go in there. You tend to deal with anything stressful by using violence.”

The Wolverine that ‘belonged’ shrugged, “Kid’s right. Either o’ us are liable to stab first and ask questions later.”

“Yeah so that means this pup is the answer?” The older Logan growled as Ororo watched Kitty step forward.

It was then that she acted, that she could take no more. Ororo walked past all of them and did not look back. “I will speak with Jean.”

Daken glanced at Bobby and when the Icicle didn’t seem to have objections to that he figured it was a good idea. _Didn’t know Grey and Ororo were close. Interesting._

~~~

The _pling_ noiseof the door chime made Jean glance over and she paused briefly. _What a beautiful woman but in such a strange set of clothing,_ she thought. “I’ll be with you in one sec, dear.” Setting the glass down she turned properly, smiled and asked, “Good morning, can I get you a cup of coffee?”

Ororo sat down at the counter and nodded. There were other people in the diner who she observed carefully, despite how difficult it was to look away from Jean. _Jean Grey._ Ororo swallowed and remained outwardly surene. “Yes, thank you.”

Eyes, the color of the deepest forest and the richest emerald, met a pair that shamed the richest summer sky, the vibrant blue of a summer morning. It was as if Jean had seen them a million times before and yet she did not remember meeting this woman. “Ah, you … you seem familiar. Have we met?”

“Yes, Jean Grey, we have.” Ororo smiled warmly at that. Being recognized was a good sign. “We have met on many occasions, and if you search yourself for the truth you will know me to be a friend dear to you.”

“Oh.” Her heart fluttered and Jean felt a little bit giddy. She knew this stunningly beautiful woman?

“You sure you don't want that coffee to go so you can be on your way, Miss?"

Ororo turned to look at the speaker. She was a slightly mousey looking woman but not at all unpretty. There was a confidence in her that was quite out of place. It was as though there was something inside her too big to be contained.

“No thank you.” Ororo smiled back at Jean, “I rather like the company here.” Knowing that there was no point engaging with anyone but Jean she turned back to her, “My name is Ororo. I know you’ll remember Jean.”

“Ororo.” She said it slowly and then, “Ro.” Without a thought, Jean reached for the woman’s hand and then flushed, “I -”

“NO! You have to leave, you need to go! GO!”

Ororo did not flinch as the woman’s voice grew loud. “I am not accustomed to taking orders.” Ororo held onto Jean’s hand even as she turned to look on the other woman’s face. “Not even from Goddesses. I am well aware that divinity does not provide wisdom or correctness all on its own.”

“She is mine! Jean Grey belongs to the Phoenix -”

“I belong to no one.” Jean turned and while she linked her fingers with Ororo she pushed against the illusion around them. Fire engulfed the diner within a second and then, then she was looking at the Phoenix. And the memories flooded her mind and awareness came back to her.

“ _You_ again.” Pushing off the floor Jean realized that she was wearing her Dark Phoenix costume but she ignored it as if it held no relevance. "Why, why can't you just leave me -”

"Jean, honey, you need to calm down. This isn't right. I don't know how they're doing it, but they're tricking you. Just talk to me.”

It was frightening to watch. Ororo stood by, somehow their hands were still joined, or they had come together again, the illusions made such things impossible to judge. Another would have spoke up, or tried to act, to force action. Ororo stood by and let Jean write her own story. 

" **They're** not tricking me. **You are**.”

"How can you -” The thing that was not Jean’s friend was cut off as Jean’s words rushed in, confidant and clear. 

"Annie Richardson died when we were twelve. The Frisbee. The car. I remember it all.” Jean felt her heart beating heavily in her chest. It felt as if it weighed a million tons. This was real. She was alive. She was breathing and she was alive. Again.

"But that's the point, honey. That doesn't have to be the end. We can make the world whatever we want it to be. You can have whatever you want.” 

"I don't want _anything!”_

"Yes, you do."

The glow of the fire increased for a split second and then Jean was staring at her parents. It was as if her very soul was being ripped out. "Mom? Dad? Is this real?”

"Of course it is." Her father said and her mother added, "Anything can be real if you embrace the Phoenix."

Tears. Jean let go of Ororo’s hand and stepped forward, "Please, no. Just leave me alone."

"Jeannie dear."

"Please! I can't take this ... stop ...”

Her mother again, "Sweetie, the Phoenix is the spirit of death and rebirth. What could be more beautiful ...”

"Than getting to save all the people you've lost? You could do that.”

The sight of all the people who had died, the sound of her parents voices, it was too much. "No. All of you ... did you all die? You're all dead?”

"You can save us Jean. If you'll just -"

_**"NO!!"** _

Jean could no longer bear it. She pushed the illusions away with all of her power and then stepped forward, approaching the Phoenix. "It's over! I don't want any more of your illusions. You have nothing left to offer me! You hear me? **Nothing!** ” She breathed in deeply and shook her head, "I'm done now. With all of this. I won't play God with you anymore.”

The Phoenix appeared in it’s real form. Jean looked up at the cosmic being but before she could speak, it spoke in a voice that transcended reality.

“THE ONE YOU SEEK, THE ONE I THOUGHT GONE – HE IS NOT. HE IS HERE. I CAN’T OFFER YOU HIS LIFE BUT THERE HAS TO BE -”

“No.” Jean shook her head even as her heart did weird things. Scott was alive? Scott had been dead? _Oh Scott ..._

She glanced at the people still watching the scene silently before she continued, "No. There is nothing that I wish of you. And I won't let you hurt me or the people I love ever again. All of this - using people, playing with their lives, building fake worlds - it's not right. It's not fair to do that to me or anyone.”

Jean looked back the Phoenix, "I know that I asked for your help. I don't know why you gave it. And I don't know why you keep coming back. Of all the beings in the universe, you chose me. That used to make me feel special. Now I don't feel anything at all.”

Ororo watched and felt the eyes of all their friends and dear chosen family on them. Scott Summers was alive. There would be a reckoning, there could be nothing else. Scott had died a pariah intent on saving his people even if they refused to acknowledge him. The man was myth now, a martyr, and Ororo felt the empty place inside herself where she kept the grief over what she had done. All of that passed in an instant as Jean continued to speak to the Phoenix, to fight it off by sheer force of will.

With a shake of her head Jean smiled sadly, "I was supposed to die on that shuttle all those years ago. I know that now. But you keep bringing me back. You want me to be something I'm not. Something I'll never be and I wanted things from you. Things no person should have. I don't know what you are, what your role in the universe is, but it's not here. It's not with me."

"DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND JEAN GREY? TOGETHER WE CAN BE GODS. THEN WE CAN TRANSCEND THIS PLACE OR HIDE TOGETHER. OR WE CAN BECOME YOUR BEST SELF. OR WE CAN SIMPLY GO BACK TO THE WAY THINGS WERE BEFORE ANY OF THIS. WE CAN FORGET ANY OF THIS HAPPENED."

"You don't understand. That's not how things are supposed to work. You're trying to protect me from things, but you can't. I'm supposed to feel pain. I'm supposed to know loss and I need to be able to do it on my own."

"YOU'LL DIE WITHOUT ME, JEAN GREY. THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE WILL DIE."

"I know. And I'll regret not being able to save them every day of my life but that's my journey. That's life. You're trying to save me from being alive. I don't want to die, but I need to be allowed to live." Her hands held the shrinking fire bird in them and she gave the Phoenix a last smile, "You need to forget I ever existed."

"GOODBYE, JEAN GREY."

"Goodbye."

As the Phoenix withdrew and they were all left standing at the base of the cliff Ororo stepped forward to wrap her arms around Jean. Bobby and Hank were approaching quickly, Warren was a bit slower, and each Logan seemed to have gotten the message that their brand of ‘help’ was less than helpful. As Jean leaned against her Ororo kissed the fire red hair and held her dear friend fast and tight against herself. 

“Ororo.” Clinging to her friend Jean felt tears threatening to fall from her eyes. This was real. She was alive again. “Oh I shouldn't be back.”

“I am going to be selfish and say I’m glad you’re back.” Bobby wrapped his arms around both of them and kissed Jean’s shoulder. Hank was quick to follow Bobby’s example, and for once he had no words. 

Ororo leaned in and whispered against Jean’s ear, “Do not waste time on what ‘should be’. Take hold of what you want with both hands Jean. You’ve turned down divinity, live!”

Nodding slowly she swallowed and then looked at the rest of the group, “Hi, I'm home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi Nausi here!**  
>  This chapter is a bit of a switch up. If we wanted to continue to move forward with current Canon, we had to hit on this event. Looking at it we discovered some weird timing issues that hadn’t been clear to us before the Phoenix crossover event. Now we know that the order we’ve assumed things happened is unlikely. However, we were a great deal too far into what we had published to change things. That’s what the **Canon Divergent Tag** is for after all. I would love to hear what you thought of seeing things from Ororo’s perspective. I had a great time working on that, and enjoyed the ways we tweaked the events here.
> 
> Also, of course we went there with Scott. We’ve been foreshadowing that for a while.
> 
>  
> 
> **~ Nausi**


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when you’d think that it could not get any more crazy, it always does. Scott Summers has never been one to sit, wait and let himself be rescued but even for him this one is surprising.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Addition tags:** Telepathy, Bisexuality, Resurrection, Self doubt, Cerebra
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

“No.” Jean put her cup of coffee down and calmly looked across the table at Kitty. “I’m not going to become involved with locating Scott. _If_ I was the only available telepath, it would be a matter of having no other option but I’m not. You have Quire, Betsy, and the Cuckoos. Every time Scott and I become involved in some way, things go to hell. So I’ll just skip that part and go straight to the avoidance phase.”

“Jean you can’t really -” Kitty began and was surprised to be cut off by Ororo.

“Yes she can Kitty. I know that their love was one of the great romances of your youth, and that as you look towards marrying your own childhood sweetheart it disturbs you immensely to see Jean with her morning coffee, seemingly unconcerned with the whereabouts of her former husband.” 

“They never got a divorce Ro, they’re married,” Kitty looked back at Jean, “Scott’s your husband, one of your dearest friends -”

Ororo sighed and shook her head. “Kitty, please do not react to Jean spitting in the face of destiny the way you always react to my mohawk.” At most times Ororo held a regal and noble air, just now she was far more frustrated older sister who just wanted to drink coffee with her girlfriend though,“Jean has made a choice Katherine. Quentin Quire has healed and recovered. He has proven himself a strong and capable telepath. I suggest you inquire after his availability.”

Jean smiled and shyly reached over for Ororo’s hand as she nodded, “Quire can handle this. Besides, we are talking about Scott Summers here – if anyone is capable of handling himself, it’s him. And I do believe death makes marriages annulled but who knows, if not he and I will need to speak when he comes back here.”

“You don’t love him anymore? Just like that you’re done with him Jean?” The hand holding obviously bothered Kitty, but she was also clearly trying not to let Ororo be right. 

“The last thing I remember him doing is cheating on me with the blonde bitch. After months of not even wanting to kiss me and avoiding sleeping in our bed. It’s not as black and white as you’d like it to be, Kitty. We _weren’t_ the ideal couple that you paint us as in your own memories.”

“We can’t just have Scott Summers running around. That Blonde Bitch you’ve mentioned is causing trouble with Scott’s brother. If he rejoins her …” Kitty trailed off and arched a brow.

Ororo could not contain herself anymore. She laughed. It was an uproarious sound, but it lacked true warmth because it was ultimately mirthless. Ororo was not happy, her heart was full, almost overwhelmingly full, of sorrow. Kitty was standing before them poking at the open wound with a red hot poker and all Ororo could do was laugh to keep from sobbing. 

Jean’s words came in the silence Ororo’s laughter left. They were hard and cold and yet somehow full of love. “Your displaced anger at my ex-husband is your own problem. Scott was not the enemy. He will _never_ be the enemy. What all of you decided to do in response to him doing nothing but what was expected of him – protecting Mutantkind, was quite frankly more villainous than anything he has done.”

It took the wind out of her. Kitty stood there like a limp sail. She was surrounded by the salt of her anger, and adrift in misery. “Scott turned his back -”

Ororo shook her head, “I was complicit in this way of thinking Kitty,” She stood up, let go of Jean, and crossed the space between herself and the young Headmaster. “I lead the way, I lead the charge, and I stood firm against Scott. That is, after I was taken from Utopia. As you’ll remember I was one of the last to leave his side. I stood by him as long as I could. In the end I was blinded by my own hurt and ego, but I am not so blind that given the benefit of distance and time I cannot now see what was hidden from me then.” She reached out and put her hands on Kitty’s shoulders, “Scott Summers was right. If we had come together he would not have been forced to act so aggressively, and we could have prevented a great deal of death. There is blood on our hands, both yours and mine Katherine. I have begun making peace with my mistakes. You need to face the reality of the past Kitty. We, both of us, let Hank’s toxic grudge color our perception against Scott Summers. We gave into the fear of the Phoenix force, we listened to the continued ravings, and accepted him as scapegoat. Instead of confronting what had been done we were content to punish the mortal vessel that had failed to hold a power beyond reckoning. We made a villain of our hero, and we made him bare the cost of our sins. He will not join forces with Frost and Alex. You know this.”

There was a moment of stunned silence following Ororo’s words. All Kitty could manage was shock. She shifted from one foot to the other as she processed it all. They were right, both of them were right. Why was it so painful to admit that? Why was she feeling so angry seeing them hold hands and support each other? Kitty was not sure. All she knew was that this wasn’t the reaction she wanted to be having right now. _I am beaten and it tastes bitter. Some wonder child I am._ “I - … I will ask Quire to look for Summers. Sorry to bother you two.”

* * *

It was a strange sight. The room didn’t feel like a ‘room’. It was more of a … a chamber. Or that was how Jimmy saw it with it’s sleek white panels, and it’s bizzare curved lines. There were no corners and the scale of the room was hard to judge as everything seemed to stretch on into perfect whiteness forever. None of this made any sense. Jimmy wasn’t even really sure what he was doing aside from keeping Quentin company at this point. Miss Pryde had ‘agreed’ to let Quentin get to work on finding Scott Summers, the one that had been dead, without her standing over his shoulder. Jimmy didn’t know why he had been invited along when she hadn’t. The chances of them getting to start work on his memories was low now. Looking for dead people took time. Jimmy assumed most people who were supposed to be dead were harder to find than Logan had been. If this adult Scott was anything like the teen Scott Jimmy knew it would be harder, a lot harder, to find him than swooping into Japan. 

“Ah, so do you just … do you just put that helmet on and wham?” Jimmy asked, uncomfortable in the silence. 

“Actually, yes. That’s about how it works.” Quentin chuckled as he pulled the chair back and settled down. “I’ve only done this twice but it’s really not that complicated. Imagine it like … like your heightened senses. You smell, taste and see more than me. With this machine I get to feel and ‘ _see’_ more too. Not taste though.” Picking up the sleek silver helmet he sighed, “It does give quite the headache which is the real downside.”

“Whoa!” It was Drake, the older one, the one that thought he was in control of something. Jimmy wasn’t so sure about that. “Ororo just told me what’s going on. Kitty tells you to find Scott and you don’t think to tell me Quen?”

“I was hoping for peace and quiet while doing this. You, my dear Icicle, are not peaceful or quiet.” Giving Bobby a look he tried not to smirk.

“Jimmy is?”

“I am?” 

They looked at each other and then back to Quentin, both equally confused. 

“Yes, Blondie, you're a lot less annoyingly over excited all the time. Also you have a nicer butt to look at.” Quentin shrugged and then set the helmet on his head to avoid further conversation.

Both of them tried to look at Jimmy’s ass. Bobby blushed a little and Jimmy turned in circles. “Eh, sort of flat really. I mean, I suppose I’m alright …”

Quentin said nothing as the room lit up and a world map appeared all around them. It was tinted in a blue hue and there were millions of tiny dots everywhere. The human population. None of these held interest right now though and with a simple thought the colors changed and the dots reduced greatly. Mutantkind _was_ recovering since the Phoenix Five but they were nowhere near their old strength yet. Damn Wanda and her reality breaking powers. Someone that broken on the inside should not have powers like that.

“Wow!” Jimmy stood there staring. He was impressed, more than impressed. This was more than enhanced senses. It was world spanning.

“Start with Japan Quen. If Scott’s resurrection has anything to do with Logan’s, chances are he’s there too. I suppose he might be here in New York but I doubt that.” Bobby shifted, squinting at the lights. 

“Always comes back to Japan … people there must hate us.” Quentin shifted focus to the Island Nation and scanned through the minds, looking for Summers.

“Why would this organization, The Hand right? Why would they bring back Logan _and_ Summers?” Jimmy frowned.

“Someone paid them, someone with a plan.” Bobby licked his lips and stared at the display. 

“Someone with a plan and enough money to execute it. Not a lot of people could afford paying the Hand for resurrection services …” Quentin trailed off, frowned and informed them with a mildly annoyed tone, “Summers isn’t in Japan but he was. Anyone watch the news today? Apparently there was a Mutant terrorist attack … or so they call it. I’d call it impressive first business back here in the world of the living. Summers always knew how to make an entrance …”

“I don’t really watch the news.” Jimmy frowned back and cocked his head. 

“I haven’t had time. He isn’t in Japan? We don’t know where he is do we?” Bobby cursed and growled under his breath. This was complicated, extremely complicated. _If we don’t do something this is going to be a repeat of everything after the Phoenix event, all the worst parts of Scott being exiled. I won’t let that happen!_

“Deep breath, Icicle. I’m still looking …” Quentin paused, frowned and then there was a pained noise and he pulled the helmet off with a gasp. “FuckinghellSummers -”

Jimmy was there, hands on Quentin’s shoulders, in the blink of an eye. Bobby was standing close a moment later, but it was Jimmy who chaffed Quentin’s back with firm but gentle motions, Jimmy who supported Quentin’s weight and watched him, a look of deep concern on his face.

“Alright, so you found him.” Bobby pushed a hand back through his curls and arched his brows, “How hard did he jam you Quen?”

“On a scale of one to ten … twenty.” Quentin rubbed his temples and sighed, he had expected as much but it still surprised him how well Summers could kick people out of his head if he didn’t want them there. Normally that level of _fuck off_ was reserved for other telepaths. “He’s not particularly happy. Couldn’t get more before he noticed me.”

“Do you need a cool washcloth over your eyes and a nap now?” It was clear that despite the situation at hand what Jimmy was most concerned with was not his memories or formerly-dead-adult-Scott Summers.

“Yes, that sounds nice. But also something with sugar to drink or eat.” Giving Jimmy a little smile Quentin looked back at Bobby, “I think he might be here in America already but I couldn’t locate him correctly before he kicked me out.”

Bobby nodded and waved a hand at Quentin, “Go rest.” He sighed and then added, “If you can get out of bed I’m still going to need you at our meeting. There’s nothing else you can do here for now.” Bobby sighed and looked up, frustrated and worried.

“What meeting? You said something about a small interruption before. What could be so important?” Jimmy frowned as he guided Quentin out of the strange room.

“Bobby is insane and decided he wants me on his _team._ You know, like, X-Men Team.”

“They gave Bobby Drake a team?” Jimmy blinked a few times and looked over his shoulder. Once they were out in the hall he huffed, “Suppose he grows up into a responsible adult.”

“Close enough anyway. Really, I like him and all but he’s definitely crazy.” Shaking his head Quentin whined, immediately regretting that action. Headaches were evil.

* * *

Ruby red shades hid behind them a pair of strikingly blue eyes which were staring up at the odd building that had moved into Central Park months and months ago. The building was familiar, with its odd mixture of old school British Mansion and new age scif-fi bits. These blue eyes lingered on the icy sculpture that adorned a part of the building, heart aching at the thought of the one who had made them. Bobby. He missed Bobby.

Crossing the yard he approached the entrance and wondered if any second now someone would jump him. No one did. Scott Summers opened the door to the current Mutant School and stepped inside the building without anyone interrupting him. Then he stood there, lost on where to go because he had only been inside this place once and the only part he entered was a study where Jennifer Walters read them Xavier’s will. _Where would the Headmaster be located here …?_

“Out of the way!” It was Bobby’s voice. He was coming from the back of the school and pushing people out of his path rather unceremoniously. “X-team leader, former acting headmaster, founding Xman, coming through!”

That voice. Scott turned his head and then almost laughed at the sight of Bobby struggling through a group of noisy, chattering teenagers who did not seem to care all that much about his declarations. _Bobby …_

“The nose knows! Better than a telepath with you -” Bobby’s eyes locked onto Scott and he went still for a moment. 

The foyer was steadily becoming more and more quiet. Jean stood in a doorway to Scott’s right, waiting quietly. Her expression was concerned but not worried. There was an easy confidence about her that had come and gone through her life, but which seemed to be very much a part of her now.

“Scott?!” Bobby was seemingly ignorant of Jean’s presence, and unquestioning of the suddenly thinned crowds. “For real?”

“Bobby.” He said back and then shrugged, “Feels pretty real. I’m hungry, thirsty, dirty and tired - I think that makes it real?”

“I can’t believe Daken picked up your scent from the basement.” Bobby reached out and put his hands on Scott’s shoulders, “I can’t believe you’re here. I … can’t … my can is broken.”

“Daken?” Scott cocked his head and then decided, “No, nevermind that. I - I’m not sure why I am alive but I am. Don’t kick me out? I have no idea where else to go right now …”

“No one is going to kick you out.” Jean spoke up but stayed back. Despite her concerned and calm air the way Bobby jumped and turned his entire body to look at her put a little grin on her face. 

“I’m gonna have to put a bell on you Jean!” He felt young, and silly, and a bit stupid. 

“There are spare rooms, aren’t there Bobby?”

“Yeah, totally, in fact the one next to me is open.” Bobby looked back at Scott and gave him a questioning look, “Wanna be neighbors?”

Scott stood there, wide eyed and not really listening. That was Jean. The papers had spoken of a Phoenix Event but - “Jean …”

She walked forward, a little sorry to have stolen Bobby’s thunder. Jean smiled at the man who had been her dearest friend and lover for so many years of her life and reached out for his hand. “Yes Scott. The Phoenix threw a fit and brought me back. I told them no this time, but I’m still alive.”

“I guess I missed out on some fun while I was stuck with the Hand …” Giving her a warm smile he took a deep breath and then looked back at Bobby, “Neighbours?”

“Yeah man, neighbors.” Bobby licked his lips and wondered how Scott and Jean were going to work things out. Once upon a time he’d looked at them as _the_ ultimate romance. Now he knew that things had changed. Jean was clearly trying to move on, and Scott seemed to sense it. There had been no romantic embrace, or anything along those lines. “Jean if I help Scott get settled in do you think you can run interference on Kitty and Hank?”

“Ororo is already on it. I’ll be joining her now.” Jean let go of Scott’s hand, but smiled warmly at him, “This is your home. Anyone who says differently is lying to themselves.”

“It’s good to see you back, Jean.” Smiling at her he brushed some of that deep red hair back but it wasn’t a lingering gesture like it used to be when they were dating and later married. It was just a gentle touch. “And good on you for telling that damned bird no.”

“I have a legacy to live up to.” Jean smiled at the pair of them and then turned away, leaving without further comment. Now was not the time to iron out what was between them. 

“So, uh … follow me.” Bobby scratched the back of his neck and smiled, “Our rooms are this way.”

“Okay can ask I now why Daken is here? And why you would be in the basement with him?”

“Uhhh …” Bobby wasn’t sure how to answer that in the hall looking at the face of his newly resurrected best friend. _Who you were horrible to, don’t forget that part Drake._ “So, we’re going to keep walking and I’ll do my best to explain.” Scott didn’t argue and he kept walking so Bobby tried to keep up his part of the bargain. “So Daken’s reformed a lot. Some of the messed up stuff he was doing was on account of a Death Seed, some of it was because he was brainwashed, some of it was because Logan is horrible, and some of it was because Daken is a morally gray person.” Bobby licked his lips and glanced over at Scott nervously.

“Person hu? Frost seemed firmly convinced that Daken was barely even a person at all …”

“Frost didn’t particularly like Laura either.” Bobby sneered and felt his entire posture and expression change. “She’s also not the most trustworthy. An unreliable narrator if you will.”

“Yeah … I know.” Scott looked away and sighed, seeming tense for a moment before he pushed that aside, “So he’s just living here now? I thought Logan was back, the papers said so.”

“Yeah, Logan’s alive, plus there’s an older grumpier Logan running around.” Bobby nodded as they took a left up the stairs. “Logan’s trying to be an actual parent and have a family.”

“Wait, there are _two_ now and he’s trying to parent? Oh I must still be dead, there is no way that’s real.”

“Super real. They try to have dinner, all of them, except Grampa Claws, twice a week.” Bobby fiddled in his vest pocket for his keys. “Logan’s managed to mostly not screw things up too bad.” He pulled out his Litwick pokemon lanyard and unlocked the door, “Go on in, let’s see what’s here and what we need to get you.”

“Family dinner. Twice a week. No fights? No blood? I - I cannot process that.” Scott shook his head and then looked around the room, “I’d like a hot bath to be honest. Ever tried to travel from Japan to America without legal papers, while being an internationally searched for criminal? Yeah, me neither. Until now.”

“I’m not sure I want to know how you did it.” Bobby motioned at the bathroom and nodded, “Feel free, I’ll get towels, some clothes, and see about food. Daken might be willing to cook once he’s done filling in for me finishing up the Purple team’s meeting.”

“Purple team …” He looked Bobby up and down and then cocked his head, “Who runs that one?”

“Me.” Bobby stood there barefoot in his new uniform and smiled. “It’s my team. Everyone had just put on their uniforms for the first time when Daken told me he smelled you. I left him to finish talking about schedules. He’s my second so …”

“I am not sure where to even start with that one.” Rubbing a hand over his face he sighed and then said, “Bath first. Then we can talk about why you’re so attached to Daken …”

“It’s not because I’m gay.” Bobby quickly left the room after saying those words. 

“Oh.” Scott blinked and then shook his head once more. He had read about that too and it didn’t surprise him nearly as much as some of the other things that had happened. Now though, with the idea of Bobby falling for Logan’s assassin son? That was the kind of thing someone needed a drink for. _Oh Bobby, bad idea. Never fall for anyone in that family._ With a sigh he went into the bathroom. A bath really did sound wonderful now. _Welcome home, me. I guess._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here!**  
>  A bit of a transitional chapter here. Lots of moving parts. Who is excited about Jean/Ororo? Any favorite ship names for them? Better couple than Kitty/Piotr? Better than Rachel/Kurt? I think so. Daken’s nose is incredible. Also, stand by for a few special visual treats here soon, courtesy of the talented and always fabulous Finnlay. 
> 
>  
> 
> **~ Nausi**


	35. Chapter 35

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby finally has the chance to resolve something that’s been eating at him for too long now. Scott meanwhile slips back into his role as a big brother as if he’s never done anything else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Sibling Bonding, Family of Choice, Apologies

The room was a bit barren. Bobby had spend a fair amount of time running around getting things. Quire ended up needing to go back to bed after the team meeting, but the others had jumped in and been more than willing to help. The fact that Daken had cooked for them, and asked what Scott’s favorite meal was did things to him. Still, as Bobby looked around the mostly empty room, he wondered how he was going to make this work long term. The early dinner, too late to be lunch, meal had given him a great deal of cover, neither Scott, nor Daken had said much. Now that his plate was empty Bobby was feeling more and more awkward. “We’ll have to go shopping. There’s just no way around that.”

“All my possessions might still be in Canada ...” Scott made a thoughtful sound as he sipped from his coke and then he shrugged, “But shopping sounds easier. Mostly I’ve been wearing my uniform in the last few years anyway …”

“You’re too tall to keep borrowing from me. You look like you’re waiting for a flood.” Bobby shrugged, “Maybe we can hit up a few stores tomorrow. Quen’s introduced me to a few shops that are actually pleasant to be in.”

“Quen? As in Quentin? Do you want me to dress like a rebellious teenager with a sense of humor?”

“He wears pants now okay?” Bobby couldn’t help chuckling a little. “Trust me, the shops aren’t all angsty teen wear. It’ll be fun.”

“Trust isn’t an easy thing to come by, you know.” Scott leaned back, happy and full of delicious food. The Daken he had met was someone who acted very much psychopathic and gleeful about violence. That did not fit with the dinner he had just eaten. Scott was curious to actually meet the man.

“Yeah, and I haven’t done a lot before today to deserve any.” Bobby sat back as well. Despite the laid back posture he was tense, and nervous. A lot had happened while Scott took his bath, and not all of it was just grabbing towels, blankets, and spare clothes. 

“You’ve done plenty when we were still kids and for years after but recently …” Scott shrugged, “No one was doing anything to earn my trust aside from Magneto and Illyana. But I wasn’t trying to earn trust either. You turned away from me, all of you, and I went with it.”

“It was a lot easier to be mad than to deal with my feelings. I’m … I’m working on that. Coming out helped get the ball rolling, therapy has really helped keep that forward momentum going.” 

“So ...” Scott licked his lips and then asked, “Are you dating Daken?”

“Am I dating Daken?” Bobby stared back at Scott and took a deep breath. _Do I want to be dating Daken?_ That was the real question. The answer was becoming undeniable. “We’ve grown close, I care about him and trust him. We aren’t dating. Things aren’t even really romantic. Some flirting and there’s maybe signs that he might be interested in something but he’s not really the dating type, at least not so far as I can tell.”

“As the official idiot who needed years to get that Jean was interested too, I am telling you … the way he looked at you when we grabbed dinner ...” Scott shook his head, “That was pretty obvious. And when I say that, everyone else probably thinks you’re idiots.”

All across Bobby’s cheeks turned bright red. He looked down and shrugged. “He’s still not really the dating type. I mean, he’s sort of romantic when he’s pretending to be someone else, but that doesn’t mean we want the same things. Besides, I think what Daken really needs right now is a good friend and I … I care too much about him to be selfish.”

“Then be his friend, look where it goes but don’t be oblivious if he tries for more. Don’t get stuck telling yourself you’re _just friends_.” _Don’t be me._

Bobby nodded and sat there quietly for a moment before he looked over at Scott. The emergency shades had come out after the shower, and now that Scott was wearing the boxy things Bobby couldn’t decide if he looked really cool or really square. “So this is what we go right back to? You just start in with the Big Brother stuff? Almost like it was always this way.”

“What do you want me to do, Bobby? Yell? Kick you out? Tell you that you’re a horrible person?” Scott sighed and waved a hand lazily, “I’m tired of arguing. I’m tired of blaming and being blamed. I am especially tired of my family being ripped apart over ideological differences that were forced into our minds by an abusive, manipulative bastard.”

The wince those words prompted was far more pronounced than Bobby wanted it to be. He had come to terms with the fact that Xavier was anything but perfect. Still, dealing with it head on was painful. Bobby tried not to get caught up on the wrong parts of what Scott was saying, “I’m tired of being divided too.”

“I just want to be here and feel like it’s my home again. With my _family_. Whatever part of it is even left now. McCoy hates me like I personally tortured him. Warren is dead. Jean? I don’t know, I cheated on her last time we spoke. And you … well, seems like you’re not angry anymore.”

“Hank is going to need some time but he’s going to come around.” The was confidence in Bobby’s tone, he meant what he said. “It’s good that he can get away to the Avengers to work some of this out. Rogue’s there and she’ll work on him. Jean … I can’t speak for her. The new Warren isn’t so bad, he’s just not Warren-Warren. And me well …” Bobby swallowed, “I’ve really, really missed you Scott.”

“Missed you too.” Reaching over he fluffed these curls and noted, “I never knew you had adorable curls.”

It was a relief, and one that Bobby offered a silent thank you to whoever was looking out for him too. “Yeah I’d been keeping my hair really short and getting it chemically treated two or three times a year since I was a kid.” Bobby shrugged. “After Daken’s Death Seed melt down I didn’t really have time to manage the upkeep on it. When I looked in the mirror and noticed the curls were coming out I decided I liked it.”

“How many people died?” It was the question that Scott had wanted to ask the first time Bobby mentioned the Death Seed and Daken in the same sentence but it had seemed rude. Now he just needed to know.

It surprised him a little but Bobby just blinked, thought back over it and then answered, “So far as I know the death toll was zero. He did stab Judah, the guy I was dating, and kiss him against his will. There was also the part where he convinced a minor to be his personal power pack, but Zach’s happier these days than he ever was before his run in with Daken. So, in terms of Death Seed crisis the fallout was small. Judah’s recovering.” _And has no idea that I’ve become besties with his attacker … so not a big deal right?_

“He sexually assaulted your date and now you’re into him?”

Bobby made a face that said he knew that his was a horrible horrible idea. “Did I mention that he was under the sway of a Death Seed that had been stewing inside him for years?” Bobby bit his lip, then puckered his face up and shook his head, “I … I know okay? He wasn’t in his right mind and Daken … he knows it was wrong, he’s never defended those actions. You’ve had something else in you, manipulating you Scott. You know how it can twist everything you are and if I can understand and forgive what you did -” Bobby’s voice gave out and he looked away. It was too much, too raw even after years. 

“I’m just having a hard time imagining that he could be so different without the influence … I know towards the end I lost it but I was also being attacked by a whole bunch of people who were all thinking they knew better. Funny that, isn’t it? After years of everyone and their damned pet hamster turning to me for answers, they all just decided I didn’t know anything.”

“It’s not who he is.” Bobby looked back at Scott, “It isn’t who you are. Xavier was wrong. I was wrong.”

“As he usually was.” Scott nodded and then sighed, “Alright, I trust you not to think of dating someone who condones sexual violence. If you say that’s not who he is, then that’s not who he is.”

“I …” Bobby swallowed and then nodded. After a moment of silence he tried again, “I’m sorry.”

There was a pause following that and then Scott nodded, “Yeah … me too.”

“We'd followed you through hell and back. Xavier hadn't been the one calling the shots in a long time … I - I honestly don't understand how we all -” Bobby swallowed and shook his head, “How did we all swallow the same crap? All of us. Rachel was the only one who talked any sense.”

“I believed it for most of my life too. So just – just accept that he was good at what he did.” Scott paused and then added, a little smirk on his lips, “And what he did wasn’t very nice.”

“Wow did you just?” Bobby blinked and just looked at Scott, “Wow.”

Scott laughed and it wasn’t just a short lived thing, he genuinely _laughed_.

“Wow!” Bobby shook his head and watched in awe as Scott belly laughed. It was a rare sight. After another handful of heartbeats Bobby was laughing too. The pair of them were just sitting there laughing at a stupid joke Scott Summers had made. 

As the laughter died down slowly into a chuckle he leaned over and let their shoulders touch. It was good to be home. It was good to be with Bobby. “You know … I miss him.”

There were tears in Bobby’s eyes as he tried to sober himself up, “Wh-who is that?”

“Logan.” He looked off at nothing, “I miss Logan.”

Bobby would have been less surprised if Scott had said Xavier, or Magneto, or Jesus. He just watched his friend for a moment and then said softly, “I think he misses you too.”

“Yeah? He freaking hates me.”

“He almost cried when I told him you were dead.” Bobby sucked his lips in and shrugged expressively.

“Oh.” Scott frowned and then sighed, “That damn asshole. He's missed me the entire time, hasn't he? Just too damn prideful to admit and bury the hatchet.”

“I’m not Logan, I didn’t grow up with him, I don’t know him the way I know you, or Jean, or Hank. I honestly don’t know.” Bobby sighed and shook his head, “I know he isn’t mad anymore.”

“I know him. I know him like probably no one else does. Perks of being the leader and having to deal with him for decades. There were only two options; One is that he just really come to hate me with every fiber of his being and there was nothing to do about that. The other is he did a thing he is ashamed of and doesn't want to take back so he won't have to admit he was wrong.”

“Yeah it’s the second one. I’ve been here to watch him since the original split. If it’s got to be one of those it’s definitely the second option.” Bobby nodded.

“I hate him so much.” Scott groaned and flopped his head down on Bobby’s shoulder, “So, so much …”

“Should I kill him?” Bobby wasn’t sure what to do with Scott’s physical affection. He liked it, a lot, but he wasn’t really sure of how he was supposed to react. In the end he leaned into it, wanting to stay close, “I can at least put him on ice.”

“Iced Logan … that _would_ be amusing.” Scott chuckled and then sobered quickly to say, “No. I - … I have strong feelings for and about Logan but _hate_ isn’t actually the accurate description of them.”

“If he starts treating you like he did before the adamantium nap tell me.” Bobby looked at Scott with a serious set to his features, “I’ll make sure he understands that’s not gonna skate anymore.”

“Is that what we call dying now? Taking a long nap? Has it come to that?”

“When it comes to people with super healing factors yeah.” Bobby shrugged, “If the Hand keep bringing people back like they have, sure.” 

“Death used to mean something. I knew I was dying when it happened and I thought …” He trailed off.

Bobby went quiet and nodded. When he found his voice he said, “I think that’s why Jean said no to the Phoenix. When death stops meaning anything the world gets to a whole other level of messed up. I don’t know why the Hand is doing what it’s doing. They brought Logan back, and unless you’re going to tell me different they brought you back too. It doesn’t make any sense.”

“I was there, in that cell, for about nine days. I counted the meals they gave me and if they weren’t tricking me which I don’t think they were, then it’s nine days. I heard some of them talk quite a bit and the one thing they kept mentioning was someone they just referred to as _him_. Like with that ominous movie voice when the plot plays the pronoun game.”

“So we know it’s a nefarious man.” Bobby sighed and shook his head, “There’s a long list. I’ll have to go over it with Quentin and the rest of Purple team. Maybe one of Daken’s contacts can give us some insight.”

“ _He wants Summers as a viable sleeper_.” Scott rolled his eyes behind the shades, “They sure tried but brainwashing me isn’t that easy. Thankfully. I suppose I should thank Xavier for that one.”

“Now _that_ is a valuable piece of information. Maybe Daken can figure something out with that. Maybe Quen can. Yana might be able -” Bobby blushed and looked back at Scott, “Sorry this mystery has been eating at me and now that I’ve got my own team I want to make figuring it out a priority.”

“So, Daken, Quire, Illyana – who is the fifth and sixth member?”

“Just five of us. There’s a few people who want to even out our numbers but I’ve turned them down so far.” Bobby shifted, “Hisako Ichiki is our fifth. Simon Lasker has volunteered, he’s a fire elemental and newly reformed. Zach, the kid that I mentioned before, he’s upset that he can’t join. He looks up to Daken and has a bit of a crush on Quen but he’s sixteen.” Bobby shook his head, “His gift is amazing but he’s just too young.”

“Yes, that’s too young. Look at what being too young has done to us. Or too many of the children we were entrusted with. We can’t keep going with that circle, we’d be raising our own generation of future super villains or PTSD suffering wrecks of people.”

“I agree with you. There are exceptions but Zach isn’t one of them. If I can be sure we can keep him safe I have no issue bringing him along when he can save a life but he shouldn’t be thinking of himself as an Xman. We’re soldiers and he needs to just be a kid for a few years.”

“They all deserve that. We deserved that.” Scott shook his head and then closed his eyes, “I’m just going to sleep now for like three months. That’s how tired I am.”

Bobby settled himself in the corner of the sofa and pulled Scott in against him. “How about you start with an after meal nap? I’ll hang out here and make sure no angry people come in to harass you.”

Scott had never been big on physical contact but he was also hardly ever this starved for it. Letting himself be held he made a non-committing sound and just drifted off. The way here had been less than pleasant and there was more stress yet to come. But he was home. That was something.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi friends, Nausi here!**  
>  This chapter is on the shorter side of what we’ve been putting out lately but I think it packs a lot in. This is a reconciliation that has needed to happen for Bobby. He’s been very angry for a long time and making things right with Scott is a big step towards making things right inside himself. Also I just want to say we need Scott back in the comics. We’ve got Jean and Logan back. We need Scott, and we need Scott with the X-men. I’m so glad that we’ve got him in here as part of the foundation of our world now. Although, all things come at a price. Scott’s back.


	36. Chapter 36

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken has a plan, one that is putting considerable stress on him and which leads to copious amounts of liquor consumption. Bobby doesn’t know anything about the plan but he does know that a drunk Daken is sort of adorable and majorly depressing. And Magneto enjoys to ruin everyone’s morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Superstition, Implied/Referenced Sexual Favors, Alcohol, Depression, Childhood Memories, Slow Burn
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

To everyone's surprise Summers had managed to live at the school for three days without anyone trying to murder him. In fact things were quiet. No emergencies. There even appeared to be some kind of truce between the ex-leader and Logan. It almost seemed as if Summers clashed more with Kitty Pryde than he did with Logan and that was amusing. Or it would have been if Daken could be bothered to care. His mind was occupied with other thoughts and issues than the unstable leadership of the X-Men in general. After all, the only one he’d willingly listen to was Bobby and Bobby was doing a great job of not being involved while also clearly coming down on Summers’ side. These two had made up rather quickly. Daken had waited in Bobby’s room after cooking for the pair. But all Daken’s worry had been for not. Bobby had come back with a huge grin on his face and smelling of relief and happiness, with just a hint of melancholy.

Things around here seemed to be calming down again but Daken was starting to understand that any calm was followed by disaster and mayhem. Life at the school would at least never get boring. Not that he had a problem keeping himself busy given that he was trying to get into contact with someone who didn’t want to be contacted. After the tenth or so phone call of the day, Daken had given up and just settled down on the couch with a bottle of overpriced and hard to come by Asgardian wine. One glass turned into two, three – a bottle. He was buzzed but not fully drunk, that was something hard to achieve with the way his body immediately started to filter out the alcohol because it was technically a poison. The buzz was enough.

At least is was enough to get him off his couch and down the hallway, knocking on Bobby’s door without an actual plan or purpose. He just wanted to see him. “Come on, lemme in Snowflake.”

“Uh … come in?” As Daken entered Bobby was seated on his sofa, wrapped in a fuzzy blue blanket, watching something on his laptop. His eyes locked on Daken right away.

“Cute.” Daken had meant to think that and didn’t even notice he had said it instead. Approaching the couch he sat down on the floor with a huff and leaned against Bobby’s thigh. It felt a little less obviously needy than curling up in Bobby’s arms and demanding to be comforted. “You know, I never asked but I’ve always wondered why you smell like Christmas cookies - like cinnamon.”

“Ah …” Bobby blinked several times, found himself stroking Daken’s hair, and tried to make himself speak while also trying to understand what was going on. “I uh … I like cinnamon. I … I keep sticks of it in my sock and underwear drawer.”

“Smells nice ...” Closing his eyes he swallowed but that tight feeling in his throat didn’t fade. It had been there for days and it wasn’t going away. “I’ve never had Christmas cookies. Never celebrated Christmas but walking past any bakery in winter is like all cinnamon and cardamom and what’s it called … gingerbread? Do you do Christmas? You’re like half Jewish.”

“I … yeah. I do Christmas.” Though he was more than a little bewildered Bobby kept stroking Daken’s hair. He really wasn’t sure what to do with this. He’d expected Daken to reach out via his fake profile, not to show up in person, seemingly wasted, and chatty. “I’ve had to teach myself about Jewish holidays and stuff. We only celebrated Jesus stuff at home.”

“I don’t like your parents.” The soft, gentle touch was soothing and Daken still had no idea why he was here but this, the gentle touch, was definitely part of it. “I liked my parents … adoptive ones, I mean. I loved my father and while she hated me, I respected her. Initially anyway …”

“Parents are complicated. I don't like mine most of the time. Still love them.” Bobby shrugged and tried to figure out what was happening. On the surface Daken had shown up buzzed to chat and was opening up about his past. The more he thought about it though the more confusing it got. Bobby looked down at Daken, head pressed against his thigh, kneeling on the floor, and felt a wave of tangled emotions wash over him. There was something about this, about the way Daken had come to him, the position by his thigh, it almost felt like supplication, like an offering and a request at the same time. It warmed him over, and made Bobby eager to engage with this, whatever it was. To that end he continued the conversation, “What was he like? Your father.”

“Gentle.” It was the first word that came to Daken’s mind but there was more to say, “Well spoken, disciplined … oblivious. Do you know what happens to children like me normally? Mixed race, orphaned …”

_No but I bet it’s horrible. Japan during the era you were born wasn’t all that liberal._ Bobby didn’t say that. He thought it, and took a deep breath, “I … uh, I don’t know.”

“Adoption is generally considered shameful in Japan, even to this day. But back then? A mixed child that clearly had a parent of western origin? They would have never taken me in but I looked like your average newborn of Asian decent. It was when my eyes never changed color from blue to brown that _mother_ realized she could not pretend to claim I was of her own blood. I must have been three or four months old and that’s when she stopped adoring me and started to see me as a danger to her honor.”

“She just … she went from loving you to despising you?” Bobby made a face and tried to get some of his fuzzy blanket around Daken. “That’s horrible!”

“Yeah …” Daken swallowed and looked up, these blue eyes cast over with sadness and shame, “I loved her for a long time. It didn’t matter that she was never warm and caring, I thought that was on me. That I was doing something wrong and just had to try harder. It eventually hit me that wasn’t ever going to work when I overheard her confess to my father that she had _no love in her heart for me._ ”

“Racism is a hell of a drug. I don’t … how can you take care of a kid and not fall in love with them? Daken, that’s just, it’s freaking super horrible!”

“She thought I wasn’t human. Ever heard the fox tale?”

“Fox tale? I … nope, stupid anime watching American over here.” Bobby shook his head and hoped that Daken would just keep talking.

“In Japan it is believed that the fox is a spirit capable of transforming into a human shape. Whether they are good spirits or bad ones depends on the period and the current level of superstition in the population. Mother, Natsumi, she believed I was a fox spirit, a _kitsune_. She thought I was bringing her and father bad fortune and that I needed to be removed.”

“She was crazy.” Bobby sighed, “You were just a kid. Just a little kid that needed to be loved. Like … fuck man.”

“At the time … I was starting to hear, smell and see better. I was growing into my abilities and when I heard her say that, I almost believed it. Almost. I knew something was different about me …” He trailed off, looking away and finishing the thought with, “I ended up killing her.”

It startled him but Bobby knew that the change was not pleasant for ferals. They often ended up hurting someone. _And if she was threatening his security and making him feel unsafe the natural instinct would be to remove her_ , Bobby thought. He swallowed and asked, “How old were you?”

“Eleven.” Daken chuckled and it sounded bitter, “I didn’t mean to. They had a child, well … she had a child. It wasn’t his. I could smell it wasn’t but he believed it was his son. And I knew that she was a horrible mother and that this child meant I was in real danger. No one would take in an eleven year old mixed child, no one. I took the infant and put him on the doorsteps of another couple … I didn’t want her to go after him though and so I said I killed the child. I considered that but I couldn’t. She, understandably, freaked out and when father came home ...” He shook his head.

“You were trying to protect yourself and the baby.” Bobby slid down onto the floor and wrapped his arms and the blanket around Daken. “What else were you supposed to do? Sit back and wait for things to happen? I … Daken I’m sorry dude.”

“I know, logically I know that.” Daken didn’t even think about it, he just melted into the embrace and nuzzled close, breathing in that scent which had come to mean _safety_ to him. “It was all staged anyway … everything. My entire life was a big production by a psychopathic monster. Him. The same guy who made me stay out in the cold …”

“ _That_ monster.” Bobby held onto Daken tighter and thought about the parallels in their lives. Xavier had been kinder to him than this monster had been to Daken, but he, Scott, Jean, and Hank had all just been means to an end. Xavier had cultivated the perfect non threatening image to be the face of Mutant Kind. He had never given much thought to the personal cost. There had been no physical abuse of any sort, but he’d been twelve and stuck in the middle of a race war. Daken’s story was like a much darker and more twisted version of his own life. Bobby held onto Daken and tried to impart comfort. It wasn’t something he was especially good at though. Kurt was much better. Ororo was fantastic. Bobby was only as good as earnestly caring would carry a socially awkward guy. “Fucking monster.”

“ _Eram quod es, eris quod sum.”_ Daken breathed out heavily, “I was what you are, you will be what I am – it’s what he used to tell me. I’m not … I’m not, right?”

“No!” Bobby got Daken’s face in his hands and looked into those beautiful eyes. “God _no_ Kitten.” His heart hurt and he felt an ache in his body that begged to sooth and touch Daken. “You’re _not_ a monster.”

Leaning into the touch he smiled at Bobby, “I like it when you call me that. It’s so beautifully ironic.”

The smell of alcohol was heavy on Daken’s breath. Bobby licked his lips and wondered if he’d be able to tell what Daken had been drinking if they kissed. The thought was shoved to the side as he focused on what Daken was saying, “Ironic?”

“Daken means _bastard dog._ It’s an insult for mixed race people.”

“Dude, you go by a slur?” Bobby’s hands slid down to rest on Daken’s shoulders as he regarded him with surprise and horror.

“Mmh, yes. I do.” Daken chuckled and leaned in, arms wrapping around Bobby as he gave into the urge to cling to something, someone. “I’ve got no other name.”

“I’m calling you Kitten from now on.” Bobby pulled the blanket around them more tightly and tried not to think about the fact that he was cuddling Daken on the floor.

Making a soft sound he just relaxed into Bobby’s arms and said, “’m staying … don’t wanna go back to my room.”

“Your room has infinitely better blankets than mine does, but you’re always welcomed to slum it up at Casa de Drake.” _Wait, does this mean he’s going to sleep in my bed? Am I going to sleep in the same bed as Daken? How am I going to not kiss him if he stays the night?_ Even has Bobby asked himself all those questions, and held Daken close, he added, “I want you to stay.”

_< Thank you, for listening. For being such a stupid, perfect person.>_ Daken knew that Bobby wouldn’t understand but that was kinda the point.

“Okay but that … I have no idea what you said after _Domo_.” Bobby sighed and shook his head, “Anyway, come on drunky. It’s time to put you to bed.”

Daken chuckled as Bobby pulled him on his feet and then he was leaning in close, hot breath brushing against Bobby’s ear as he spoke, “Always knew you wanted me in your bed, Snowflake.”

The hot breath did things to Bobby. It was difficult to keep his morals about him with Daken _looking_ at him. Bobby didn’t lean away or flinch, instead he started to guide Daken towards the bed. “You’ve had a lot to drink. Didn’t know you could have enough to make you tipsy to be honest. Maybe you’re thirsty.”

Letting himself be guided he tugged on Bobby’s hand after settling down and they both ended up on the bed, Bobby on top of him. “Healing factor … be sober in an hour. Know what I’m doing.” _You’ve been good to me, let me pay you back …_

It was the most sexually charged and yet awkward moment of Bobby’s entire life. He turned his head so that he wouldn’t end up kissing Daken by accident, “You can get me one of those amazing blankets.” His heart was thundering in his chest like some sort of wild drum. Bobby knew Daken could hear it, smell him, knew there wasn’t any bit of him that wasn’t betraying just how turned on he actually was. Still he persisted in refusing, “Here, I’m gunna roll over and you can use me like a pillow.”

Someone refusing once was fair game. Refusing twice meant to back off, to stop offering. Daken knew that Bobby was not at all opposed to the idea of sex with him. He could smell and feel that the man was turned on but arousal didn’t equal consent. It never had, it never would. A _no_ was a _no_. Why someone said no wasn’t relevant, it was none of his business and yet Daken wondered. Was it that Bobby knew he wasn’t really all that interested in it? Was it a position of power sort of deal? Or something else entirely maybe? Daken decided he wasn’t sober enough to contemplate that. Instead he curled up in these strong arms and closed his eyes. _I’ll get you one of these blankets …_

Bobby hugged Daken close and kissed the top of his head. Some of what Scott said came back to him, the history that he and Daken shared, the violent way they’d met, and the things they’d done to each other. _That was the Death Seed and my ego. Daken’s gotten rid of that thing, and I’m figuring this out. Trying to figure it out, trying to do better._ Bobby remembered again the events had fallen out when he and Daken met. _It wasn’t just the death seed. It was the same stupid feeling I’ve always gotten when I’m really into someone. It made me uncomfortable. It upset me, and the Death Seed twisted and magnified it. I have to stop repressing. I have to stop giving into fear._ Bobby kissed Daken’s brow, the only outward expression of his inner turmoil, “Good night Kitten.”

* * *

It was wake up check number four and Daken was still snuggled in against him. The time was roughly nine in the morning, or so he was guessing. His phone was in his pocket and Bobby wasn’t about to move. It had beeped a few times but mostly it was quiet, which meant no emergencies, which meant he could lay here with Daken. Every time he’d drifted back to consciousness Bobby had expected to find Daken gone. Though their friendship was more and more intense Bobby still couldn’t imagine Daken enjoyed the idea of having made himself extremely vulnerable. There was also the fact that Bobby had turned down his advances. That might have hurt Daken’s pride.

Though the prospect of waking Daken was grim Bobby had to shift. His arm was tingling and he needed to ease that pressure. So he held his breath and tried to move very slowly - Daken made a sound in his sleep that was adorable and Bobby couldn’t stop himself from making an answering sound in awe of it.

Movement. Breathing. Bobby’s scent? Daken frowned, shifted a little and then slowly blinked. Bobby. He was in Bobby’s arms. In Bobby’s bed. Lifting the blanket he saw that they were indeed both still dressed and let out a sigh of relief. “Well, you get points for not sleeping with the drunk guy. My head feels fuzzy but I think I … tried to?” There was still a sleepy slowness to him that wouldn’t be familiar to Bobby.

“You made a pass and didn’t press me when I turned you down.” Bobby shrugged and tried not to make another ‘awe’ sound. He had a feeling he’d have explain himself if it happened again.

“Never did that. Not once.” Daken sat up slowly and pushed his hands through that long hair which was a mess from sleeping with it down. Not to mention that his shirt looked like he didn’t know how to use an iron. “I know people talk and I’m aware my ability makes it pretty normal to assume that I would … but I don’t.”

“Uh what are you …” Bobby frowned or tried to. The disheveled morning look really worked on Daken, and mostly Bobby found himself staring in appreciation. “... wait you mean the pressure? Uh … you can come on strong but that was … well I figured that was the Death Seed.”

“It was. Oh and probably years of being taught to do that and still refusing.” Daken yawned and then started to unbutton his shirt as he said, almost casually, “Once it happens to you, the idea of doing it to someone else … I’d never.”

_Once it happens to you - Damn it!_ The thought moved through Bobby even as Daken continued to undress. Though Bobby was concerned with what Daken had said his eyes were glued to what Daken’s fingers were doing. “I know you wouldn’t. I wouldn’t have invited you to stay the night if I had any doubt.”

“Well … there was this one guy who was kind of an ass and I made him go crazy over me but I wasn’t trying to have sex. That just happened. I suppose that was questionable but he was also a psychopath so who cares …” The shirt was off and Daken looked at it as if it was personally offending him. Silk wasn’t meant to be worn to bed like this.

“Uh … Daken …” Bobby sat back and just watched, “You uh … you have really uh … nice shoulders.” The bold tattoo, the river of raven black hair, it made the width and definition of Daken’s shoulders stand out in a way that Bobby found personally offensive. _I didn’t know I was so into ink and long hair. Frosted fuckin’ flakes but he’s painfully beautiful._

“Hm?” Looking over at Bobby he blinked and then arched a brow, “You’ve seen me shirtless before. Are you getting embarrassed?”

“You were never in my bed, with bed hair, from sleeping in my bed before.” Bobby met Daken’s gaze, “You picking up on a theme here?”

“Yes, you like me in your bed.” Daken smirked, a mischievous glint in these blue eyes, “I like being in your bed. Honestly. I haven’t slept through a night in - … I don’t even know. Guess the closest was when I slept with you on my couch but I woke up a few times there too.”

“Couch sleeping is sort of uncomfortable. I uh, I woke up a few times too.” Bobby shrugged and then wondered if he’d been clear, “I mean tonight. Not that I was uncomfortable, really I liked having you in my - okay I’m digging myself a hole. I am totally digging a hole.”

“You are indeed.” Daken chuckled and then rolled out of bed, stretching with another little yawn. Apparently getting drunk and telling his sob story to Bobby had been a brilliant idea. “What I told you … that’s not something to go around and talk about.”

“Uh … duh.” _Okay those hips don’t lie. Damn._ Bobby pulled his eyes away from Daken’s assets and shrugged. “It’s between us. Friend code clearly states that.”

“Friends ...” Daken looked back at Bobby, “Is that what we are?”

“We’ve been through this Da - Kitten. We are friends.” It was frustrating to have that questioned yet again. _What do I have to freaking do to prove it to you?_ Bobby took a breath, got out of the bed, and then closed the distance between them, “Look I know about Hir-”

_KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!_

Daken frowned and called, “Little busy here! _Professor Drake_ isn’t done disciplining me!”

“What?!” Bobby looked at Daken with wide eyes, and panic. “No - I mean -”

“Daken, we need to talk.” Jimmy’s voice came through the door.

“Aw, it’s my baby brother. Damn.” Daken sighed, turned and opened the door, looking every bit like he’d been in the middle of either undressing or getting dressed. “Hi Jimmy, what do you need?”

“You.” Though the scene was compromising Jimmy didn’t look at all interested. “My friends are still missing and there’s things that need taking care of.”

“Wait, friends? As in the baby X-men?” Bobby stepped forward and searched Jimmy’s face, “They’re in trouble?”

“Yeah but this isn’t about them -”

“Is Magneto here? Did he put you up to this?”

“Yeah he’s here but -”

Bobby pushed past them and started down the stairs, already seething.

“And there goes my morning, right down the drain.” Daken sighed and then said, “We are stopping by my room. I am _not_ meeting Magneto without a shirt and looking like I had a wild, interesting night.”

“It would be wild and interesting if you spent it with Drake.” Jimmy shrugged.

* * *

The school was as crazy as ever. It had a certain charm back in the day but now Erik would have preferred not to be here. It wasn’t the same anymore without Charles Xavier. In many ways that was good but in some it just made him feel too old and too tired to cope. _You were terrible Charles but sometimes I miss you._

“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here.” Bobby had slept in his uniform. Something he did all too often in the old days. Aside from his hair being a mess there was no sign that he’d been pulled directly from bed.

“Ah, the big Iceman. You know, I do prefer the younger version. Less stressful to talk to.”

“More easy to manipulate you mean?” It bothered him, how calm and easy the old jerk looked. He was dressed in that sophisticated yet casual old man fashion that always managed to look very, very good on men of Magneto’s build. The cup of tea in his hand and the relaxed seated posture really hit a nerve. _Just make yourself at freaking home hu?_

“Bobby, the difference between Charles and myself was always that I despise to be manipulative. Especially with children and teenagers. I'm not using the original five. I'm teaching them. They're all free to go whenever they wish - as evidenced by the fact that they simply went on a space adventure without even so much as calling me before leaving.”

Bobby blinked and then cocked his head, “That’s … that’s just what happens to you every time you get involved with kids isn’t it?”

These blue eyes narrowed but his voice stayed calm, “At least none of my students ever left the school to join the morally gray, possible villainous bad guy.”

“You’ve lead worse and you’re here to recruit said morally gray, possibly villainous bad guy. I think that nullifies any high ground you might have had.” Bobby met the narrowed gaze with crossed arms and more confidence than he felt, “He’s my second in command by the way.”

“Cute. You fell right for his charms then.” Erik chuckled and sipped from his cup. It was a nice tea. “I have a preference for the morally gray, possibly villainous people.”

“You’ve got a strange idea of what that means. I’m running a team, and Daken’s on it. He’s an Xman.” Bobby lifted his brows.

“And I’m borrowing him. I promise I return him once I have no need of his skills anymore.”

“He’ll come back when he’s done helping his brother.” There was no doubt about Daken going. He cared about his family, and it was one of the things that Bobby respected most about him, that unfailing loyalty. It wasn’t really ideal to have him running off right now, but Bobby wouldn’t have dreamed of trying to get in the way, and he knew it wouldn’t have worked. “You’ve got nothing to do with that.”

“Are you trying to fight Magneto with words?” Daken entered with Jimmy behind him. Dressed properly and looking a lot more put together and in control. “I doubt that will work.”

“Indeed. It is an amusing attempt though.” Erik gave the man he knew wasn’t that much younger than himself a once over and then said, “It’s been a while.”

“Decades is more than _awhile_. But yeah, you look good for an old, old man.”

Bobby looked between the two of them and felt more than a little wounded that Daken hadn’t taken his side. Bobby had been championing Daken after all. _Maybe I’ve been reading too far into things, maybe everyone has._

“Show him.” Jimmy crossed his arms and glared at Magneto.

“Your alternate reality little brother is really not as patient as you are.” Rolling his eyes Erik let the two finely crafted swords float directly into Daken’s hands. “A small gift so that you feel more inclined to come along for this one.”

“Huh.” Daken held them both in his hands for a moment, appreciating the fact that Erik seemed to know enough about swords to have offered him a _daishō_. A set of two complementary swords, one _Katana_ and one _wakizashi._ Daken set the longer Katana down and unsheathed the shorter, slightly curved wakizashi. It was a finely crafted blade and Daken whistled, clearly impressed, “Fine craftsmanship … is this Adamantium?”

_Why am I even standing here anymore?_ Bobby watched Daken and felt a bitter feeling starting to twist in his stomach. _Are we friends? Or am I convenient?_

“Yes.” Jimmy answered for Magneto and shifted his weight. It was clear that he was more than eager to be gone.

“Just to be clear -” He sheathed the blade again and gave Magneto a sharp look, “I am doing this because my brother is asking. I’ve got better things to do than play your games, Magneto. I had enough of obeying orders I don’t like. Once the whole business with Mothervine is over, I am coming back here. It’s where I belong.”

_Oh holy shit I’m a total jerk. He’s definitely my friend. We’re friends._ Bobby looked over at Daken and when their eyes met he felt something weird in his stomach. _Okay._ “It is.”

“Great. Now that we’ve settled that it’s time to leave.” Jimmy didn’t wait he just headed straight for the exit.

“Don’t go off on fun missions without me, Snowflake.” Fluffing these cute, messy curls he smirked and then followed Jimmy and Magneto, “Oh and tell Laura to keep Gabby from following. I _am_ coming back.”

“Hey.” Bobby grabbed Daken’s hand and waited till they were looking right at each other again, “She’s not the only that’s going to be over eager for you to come home.”

They just stared at each other for a moment and then Daken leaned in, and kissed Bobby’s cheek before pulling away, “I know. See ya.”

“See you.” It wasn’t a promise, or a declaration, but it wasn’t _nothing_ either. Bobby waited till Daken was out of sight and then collapsed into the nearest chair. His knees were water, not ice, but water. He felt too warm, and he felt too full, and he just _felt_. There was worry, the teen team was missing in space. They were capable, Bobby knew that, but he was still worried about them. There was something happening in Magneto’s quarter that Bobby didn’t know about. _Mothervine_. Alex Summers was still walking with the darker side of things, off somewhere with Emma freaking Frost. Someone was paying the Hand to bring people back from the dead. _And put sleeper programing in them._ There were so many moving pieces. So many threats, and Bobby couldn’t stop himself from thinking about the fact that Daken had kissed his cheek and _looked_ at him. Something else nagged at him and Bobby frowned as Quire came in looking confused.

“Who are you looking for?” Bobby tried to sit up and look like nothing had happened.

“Jimmy.” Quentin cocked his head, he had clearly still been in bed. The pink hair was a bit of a mess and he was dressed in nothing but shorts and a hastily thrown over robe. “He was here and now he’s already leaving again …”

“Daken went with him. Everything is going to be okay.” Though Bobby wasn’t sure his legs were legs again yet he stood up and put a hand on Quentin’s shoulder. “Two Sniktlings and a Magneto? I’m sure they’ve got things under control.”

Frowning deeply he looked up at Bobby, “He was distressed, he _is_ distressed. I don’t like it.”

They shared a concerned look and Bobby let out a worried breath, “Well, it sounds like we should double check that Logan and Scott haven’t been compromised and then talk to Yana and Hisako about being ready to save our Snikts.”

Quentin blinked and then asked, “ _Our?_ Bit possessive don’t you think? Or are you and Daken …”

Bobby blushed and shrugged, “We’re absolutely friends.”

“Friends are usually not that possessive about each other.” Quentin frowned at Bobby and then said, “Oh, you two shared a bed? I need to know more!”

“What? He’s my second. You’re the one who ran downstairs in his pajamas to see what Jimmy was doing.” Bobby started to walk off back towards Quen’s room, confident his friend would follow. “It looks to me like you’re the one with a story.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Notes:**  
>  On the topic of Japanese swords and the knowledge referenced in today's chapter.
> 
> **A Daishō (大小)** \- literally "big-little" - is a Japanese term for a matched pair of traditionally made Japanese swords.
> 
> **A Katana (刀)** is generally defined as the standard sized, moderately curved Japanese sword with a blade length greater than 60cm (23 1⁄2 inches). It is characterized by its distinctive appearance: a curved, slender, single-edged blade with a circular or squared guard (tsuba) and long grip to accommodate two hands.
> 
> **A Wakizashi (脇差)** has a blade between 30cm and 60cm (12 and 24 inches), with wakizashi close to the length of a katana being called ō-wakizashi and wakizashi closer to the length of a dagger (Tantō) being called kō-wakizashi. The wakizashi being worn together with the katana was the official sign that the wearer was a samurai or swordsman.
> 
> Or, in other words, Marvel fucked up when they gave Daken two blades and had them the same length instead of taking advantage of Daken's heritage and possible training in sword combat. So we fixed it for them.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magneto’s base of operation happens to be Madripoor which is one of the places Daken enjoys the most. Not for any of the reasons you’d think though. Jimmy gets a taste of it and there’s some bonding over ridiculously green colored soda.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Fake Dating, Brotherly Banter, Family Bonding, Dares, Crushes
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Everything still felt strange. Jimmy’s entire world was falling apart, which shouldn’t have surprised him, the fact that it had held on as long as it had was more impressive. All five of his closest friends, more than half of his found family, was _gone_. They had simply left the planet without a single word. For a man without a memory being forgotten was a living nightmare. Jimmy found himself walking to Daken’s room, desperate for diversion but terrified to leave the house. His excuse was a friendly check in on his sort of brother, but the truth was Jimmy couldn’t stand being alone. Gazing Nightshade was strange and not someone he could relate to easily. Bloodstorm was entirely too metal and gothic in her sensibilities, and Magneto was not really his idea of comfort. 

Knocking loudly Jimmy called, “It’s me.”

“It’s open.” Came the reply, although a bit muffled. Daken was standing in the bathroom, towel around his waist and straight razor in hand. Being back in Madripoor was odd and aside from going for a shopping trip, he’d been making sure to look the part again. The longer hair, that hint of stubble on the sides, his choice of clothing – all of that made him seem softer than Daken meant to appear if he was around this part of the world. Or really anywhere but at the school. It was fine there for some reason he couldn’t quite explain but he didn’t want to completely ruin his reputation.

“Oh, suppose it’s good I didn’t stop by sooner.” Jimmy looked around at the bags, the green soda, and at Daken standing there shaving, “You went out. Hair cut?”

“Gabby addressed me as _Rapunzel_ yesterday. I think it was time for one.” Daken finished the shaving and cleaned up after himself. The place was nice, more spacious than the school which he appreciated greatly. Really, going from living in an apartment fit for a whole family to a single room plus small bathroom was not all that fun. Daken _missed_ his apartment immensely some days.

“It suited you.” Jimmy shrugged a little and crossed his arms over his chest. “It seems you’re looking to fit in though.”

Daken switched the towel for a pair of pants and then came into the bed slash living room and shrugged, “Once you have built a reputation, you’ll want to keep it. There is nothing more annoying than having to restart.”

“Sounds like too much work. People will think what they think, and I’ll do what I do.” There was another shrug from Jimmy and then he sat down, “It’s good to see you’re settling in.”

“Oh to be young and foolish again … no, wait that wasn’t exactly a good time of my life.” Daken shook his head at himself and then grabbed one of the bright green soda bottles, “Want some? I’ve been to my favorite import shop.”

“Sure.” Jimmy took the offered soda and then just stared at it. “What is this … is there a … a marble? Why?”

“It seals the bottle.” Daken settled down, putting his legs up on top of the coffee table and popped his bottle open in almost the same motion, “Makes a little funny sound when you drink.”

“Alright.” Mimicking Daken’s motions Jimmy popped the marble down into the neck of the bottle. It was surprisingly difficult, more because he didn’t want to shatter the thing than anything else. 

“Not that easy when you could shatter the whole bottle on accident hu? Yeah, I’ve done that a few times over the years. Not a drink to have when you’re pissed off.” Taking a sip he made a pleased sound and sighed, “Sometimes I miss Japan.”

Jimmy watched Daken for a moment and then took a sip. It was carbonated, and it was sweet. He wasn’t sure how to place the rest of it. “You miss weird bottles and soda of indescribable flavors?”

“Yes.” Daken looked over at his little brother and smirked, “I miss weird bottles, strange flavors, really good sushi and sake … and I miss simpler times with far less stress.”

“Do you ever miss speaking Japanese?” It wasn’t something Jimmy had thought about before that very moment. However, he was suddenly aware that Daken was almost never had a chance to speak in his native tongue, let alone with another native speaker. 

_ < Every day. > _He looked down at the bottle and nodded, “Sometimes. I learned to speak English while I was in Canada and after that it’s been the language I used most often. I’ve been in the states for a long time. Longer than Logan was aware of me.”

“That’s got to be … that has to suck.” Jimmy took another sip, and looked at the busy bottle, “What is this called anyway?”

“Ramune. It’s melon soda. Yes, it does not taste like melon but who cares? It’s delicious.”

It put a small smile on Jimmy’s face, and he nodded his agreement, “Yeah it does.” 

“There’s that smile. Thought you’d forgotten how to do that.” Reaching over he fluffed Jimmy’s hair and smirked, “Would be a shame, Quire seems to like that smile.”

That took Jimmy by surprise. He blinked a few times and looked over at Daken. “He does?”

“You forget your heightened senses at home or something? Boy went all excited when you smiled at him last time you visited.”

“I thought he was just happy _someone_ was smiling at him. I’ve seen the way Quire gets treated. It’s criminal really. I understand that he’s a lot to take in but he’s also a good person who honestly wants to help people.” Jimmy shrugged and took another sip, “Didn’t assume it was me in particular is all.”

“He’s the type of person that the general population cannot handle. But you aren’t the only one who treats him nice and yet you’re the one he smiles back at, blushes for and looks at with that particular expression.”

Those words earned Daken a laborious eye roll, “I am amnesic not stupid. You're trying to say Quire has a crush on me.” Jimmy shook his head. “I don't think so. I can't imagine attracting him the way I am. Quire is just happy someone new is around who thinks for himself.”

“Sure … and I don’t think that Bobby Drake is sort of cute and interesting.”

Jimmy snorted, “You don't. You think he's damn fine and sweeter than heaven.”

“That’s a question of definition.” The hint of color on his cheeks spoke louder than any words would. Daken couldn’t quite get it out of his head how sweet and gentle Bobby had been, how accepting and nevermind the fact that he hadn’t tried to take advantage. “We are both understating things.”

“If Quire wanted me he'd say something. He's a fantastic asshole. He isn't shy.” Jimmy poked Daken in the side, “You're the one being stupid. Drake's clearly got it bad for you in the best way. Heard him tell Pryde off. Heard a lotta gossip about it. Guy thinks you're worth it and he doesn't care who knows it.”

“I know.” Daken took another sip and then shook his head, “I’m not ready to do anything about it though. It’s not that simple. I’m not shy either you know but Quire and me got something in common … we both make a big show out of pretending to think we’re awesome when really we hate ourselves.”

“We gonna do this again Daken?” If his friends had been here this conversation wouldn't have been happening. Jimmy needed this now. Without them he needed the distraction. Whether this conversation was heading in a disastrous direction only time would tell. Jimmy didn’t care, not in the least. He was anxious and full of contradicting desires. Daken was the only person who’d been able to distract him from the roiling storm. “We gotta dare each other on this?”

“Last time, you made me bloody look up his dating profile and I did.” Daken chuckled, “And then I made my own.”

“Ha. I ended up in Quire’s room. It was a hell of an experience.” Jimmy thought back on it and shrugged. “Your own profile? Meet anyone?”

“Yeah, cute guy. ‘Bout this tall, curly hair, icy blue eyes …”

This earned Daken a second snort and a severe head shake. “Fuckin’ knew it. You have got it so damn bad brother.” 

“Mmh, yeah I do.” Daken shrugged, “Doesn’t mean it’s going to go anywhere. I fucked it up when I made that fake profile and lied. Didn’t know I’d end up falling for him. Thought it would just maybe be a little fun.”

“I don't know the Drake you're sweet on, but the one I know is a lot more clever than he lets on. Comes off as sorta dull cause he makes endless jokes, talks all the time, and is the youngest.” Jimmy gave Daken a rather unimpressed look, “He isn't the sorta kid that gets fooled too often unless he wants to be fooled. You put on a good show? Pretend to be some six foot six blond beef cake?”

That made Daken laugh and give Jimmy a look, “Hell no, come on give me some credit. I’m not that kind of an asshole. I gave a few hints that it’s me but he hasn’t called me on it. Went with _Hiro_ and didn’t exactly hide that I’m mixed race.”

“Have you considered that maybe he likes you enough to know and _not_ call you on it?”

There was a moment of silence as Daken contemplated that and then he shook his head, “No one could like me enough for that.”

“Someone who understands what it's like being afraid to be themselves might.” Jimmy shrugged and reached for another soda, “S’no beer but it ain't bad.”

“Beer? God, you really do take after Father.” Sighing Daken reached for a cherry flavored one and then added, “So, if I tell Bobby … you have to ask out Quentin Quire.”

“Sure. I can handle rejection. Jean and Hank already shot me down.” Jimmy shrugged and took a sip. _You jerks had better be alive._

“Hank? As in Henry McCoy?” Daken stared, eyes wide and expression confused, “How can you … is it smart people that turn you on?”

“Maybe?” Jimmy shrugged. “I like how Hank gets when he's excited. I know he gets clinical but the guy's got a big heart. He also gives the best hugs.”

“It’s just … the only thing Quire and McCoy have in common is that they are too damn smart for their own good. Quire is this androgynous, slender guy who looks like he just might be jailbait and McCoy is definitely not like that. At all.”

“Smart does seem to be the theme.” There was yet another shrug. “I think Quire's the best looking. I like his style, and his little smirk.”

Daken wasn’t sure what his own type was or if he even had one. Aesthetically he could appreciate most people so that wasn’t something he could base any type on. Sexually no one had ever actually held any interest to him, if anything that came _after_ he already fell for someone. So personality probably. That was even more tricky than a physical trait though. “Mmh, he’s got these bright blue eyes and his style is acceptable. I wouldn’t go for him though, we’d be a disaster together.”

“What makes you think that? You are making some assumptions that I can't follow.” Jimmy looked around, “Fuck I need a beer.”

“I’ve got whiskey but you’ll be searching for beer without luck.” Getting up he went for the bag by the side of the bed and got the bottle out before grabbing two tumblers. “Now as to why I think that Quire and I would be a disaster? Imagine this …” He poured them each a finger and handed one glass over to Jimmy, “Quire gets his shiny firebird of doom and he goes all dark and evil – my response if I was in love with him? Kill anyone who tries to stop him. Ergo the world would end. On a smaller scale, if he went back to excessive drinking? I’d join him in it. Difference is, I’d survive it.”

Jimmy pressed his lips together and tried to imagine what he would do if this ‘Dark Phoenix’ thing came to pass. Would he do like Daken imagined himself? Would he stand up to it somehow? It was hard to say. After a moment and a sip from the whiskey Jimmy answered. “I think I wouldn’t accept the take over. The way I hear it talked about the thing changes a person. If some cosmic whatever bird showed up and tried to take my guy I’d fuckin’ kill it.”

“Good luck with that one then.” Daken nodded and settled back down. “Lucky me for not having to deal with my crush potentially becoming overtaken by a cosmic firebird.”

Jimmy sighed and then drained the tumbler, “I don’t do anything the easy way.”

“‘Course not. You’re part of this family and we are all freaking messed up.” Daken chuckled and poured them each another drink before adding, “Deal then? I tell Drake, you get Quire to go on a date with you?”

“I’ll ask him, and I’ll try to get a yes.” Jimmy corrected. “If he says no I’m takin’ him at his word. I’ve never been one to push … well I hope that’s true anyway.”

“Let’s assume it is. Far as I know, amnesia doesn’t fundamentally change who you are.”

“I keep telling myself that.” Jimmy threw back half the tumbler and then looked at the amber liquid. “Keep tryin’ to believe it.”

“Few years back … Logan had me shot in the brain and I temporarily lost my memories. I didn’t remember anything but I still reacted to threat with extreme violence. Some things are so fundamentally part of yourself that they won’t go away just from forgetting who you are.”

“You were still you?” Jimmy lifted his brows, intensely interested in what had happened to Daken, and what he could learn from it. 

“Yeah, more or less. I didn’t remember the horror show that my life was but I instinctively knew not to trust anyone and I still hated myself.”

“So it sucks but you were you.” Jimmy took that in and found it comforting. “You know, our father is a real asshole.”

“Fun fact … the guy who shot me in the brain was the person who murdered my mother while I was still inside her.” Daken chuckled and emptied his glass.

Jimmy followed suit and then asked, “When are we killin’ him? Both of them.”

“Ha, that’d be nice wouldn’t it? I’ve tried a few times … didn’t work out. Did get him to kill me though so that’s something.”

“Something horrible you mean. God damn Daken.” 

“Drowned me. In a tiny puddle.” Daken looked away and tried not to remember the sensation of water filling his lungs. “I mean, I earned it but … yeah, not a great way to build a father son relationship.”

“The worst way. I can’t remember more than six months ago and I can tell you that.” Jimmy grabbed for the bottle and then poured them each another drink. “You are the king of bad choices. Logan is not allowed around Gabby alone.”

“Logan’s not allowed around _you_ without supervision. It’s not the girls you gotta worry about. It’s always the boys … he sees himself in us, Jimmy. And damn would he love to kill himself.”

“Fucker needs therapy.” Jimmy knocked back his drink, “I hate myself half the time and I don’t wanna off myself. Maybe I will someday, but shit, low bar. Really low bar.”

“Ha, I tried a few times but man, we are hard to kill. Used to try it once a year on the same day. Never worked.”

“Shit.” Jimmy looked over at Daken. It was hard for him to let that sink in. The idea was too painful. He reached over and put a hand on Daken’s shoulder, “I’m glad you failed at it.”

Leaning into the touch he nodded, “Yeah, odd to say it but … I’m glad I failed too.”

“You are the best brother I’ve got.” Jimmy slid his arm around Daken’s shoulders and took comfort in the nearness. Normally Bobby needed a hug, or Scott would come and rub shoulders with him. Now all five of them were just gone. No word, not a single sign of them. _Glad you’re here Daken._

“‘m your only brother.” Daken smiled anyway and let the contact happen without complaint. “Think maybe we should stop drinking and like sleep soon. That’s the responsible thing to do right?”

“We’ve got healin’ factors. Why the hell would we be responsible?” Even as he said it Jimmy leaned back and looked to be done drinking. The action had been soothing. He wasn’t drunk and though he would normally wish he was, right then Jimmy didn’t mind being sober. “I should text Quire, tell him I’m sorry for not sayin’ hi. I just … I knew I wouldn’t leave. I knew he’d want to come with us. Magneto said no, said he had enough loose cannons as it is.”

“Ha, he brings me in when he thinks that? I’m the loosest cannon around.” Rolling his eyes he sighed and then stood up, “Come on, let’s clean up and then you can go text your sweetheart.”

“You should check in with Boss Snowflake.” Jimmy stood and looked around himself before he met Daken’s eyes, “Bet he’s worried about you. Guy sure smelled like it.”

“Yeah, I will.” Daken nodded and then tossed the empty bottles at Jimmy, “Now clean up, baby brother. I like my place nice and orderly!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends, Nausi here!  
> This chapter almost wasn’t. Finn looked back over what we had after we’d made it to chapter forty or so and was sure that we needed more here, especially after seeing where the end of the current X-Men Blue arc left Jimmy. Neither of us were fond of the Poison Arc and felt that it had been done rather sloppily. We were both disappointed by how Bunn had avoided any real, meaningful interaction between Jimmy and Daken. This chapter is our way of showing that they can have interesting and important conversations, and that the characters are much more interesting when playing off of each other than when set on each other like rabid animals. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter even half as much as I enjoyed writing it. There’s some very important clues in here as to where the future of TDYK’s plot is headed.
> 
> Thank you for reading.  
>  **~ Nausi**


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Mothervine plot comes to a conclusion and Daken finds himself looking forward to returning back to US. However, there is something he needs to handle before he can continue life as usual.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Canon Violence, Canon Torture, Canon Confinement, Canon Divergence, Brotherly Bonding
> 
>  **Reading suggestions:** X-Men Blue #24 to 28
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Everything kept happening all at once. From almost the moment the teen squad had disappeared everything had been happening at full speed. All the quiet moments had felt charged and tense and the fast moments were near brushes with death over something she hardly understood. There was an itching inside her skull which would not go away, would not leave her in peace, ever since that _thing_ had touched her, used her. That might have been what had her on edge, but working with her father, knowing what was at stake, wondering about Alex, all of that was weighing on her like someone had dropped an elephant on her chest. Recruiting Daken and giving him adamantium katanas seemed like an odd choice, but her father was good at a few things aside from science, and knowing the desires of someone was one of those things. _Unless you are his child of course._

These idle thoughts helped to pass the time. Their battle with the Mothervine affected mutants, with Wildside’s almost real illusions, their storming of the enemy base, it had lead them here, to this little room, in which Daken now paced. The others were better at remaining outwardly calm, but ever since Jimmy had been separated from them Daken had lost all semblance of his graceful serenity. It was more than clear to her that he was worried about his brother, despite the fact that they were only tangentially related. It put her in mind of Pietro and Wanda, or the family that had been and never was. Lorna leaned forward, “Daken, perhaps it’s time you took a seat.”

“You want me to stop pacing?” Daken turned, blue eyes bright with barely contained anger and worry, “Alright, what’s the plan, Polaris? Do you even _have_ an idea how we’re getting out of here? Or do we just wait until your Ex-boyfriend takes over the world?”

The teen girl told him to leave her be but Daken had found a target to direct his anger at and he wasn’t going to hold back. “I, for one, would _love_ to cut my way out of this stupid cell but no, I _can’t_. I’m resistant to psychic intrusion but having two of them, having the _White Queen_ and _Miss Sinister_ working together to circumnavigate my defenses? Apparently too much. They’re making damned sure I can’t so much as pop my claws.” With a little growl he gestured at Xorn, “He’s the only one of us seemingly immune to their tinkering but they’ve got him collared and even if he hadn’t been neutered, it looks to me like he’s given up.”

Daken turned back to Polaris, “And Jimmy? We don’t even know where they took him and what they’re doing to him. Considering my lovely family’s track record, he is being tortured and experimented on while we stand around here chatting. So excuse me for not feeling like sitting down and meditating like that asshole.”

With a sigh Lorna took the full brunt of Daken’s verbal onslaught and tried not to just look tired. “I am certain that they are torturing Jimmy. Whatever it is they need from him won’t be obtained through cuddles with kittens and puppies. The reality of the situation is that unless someone distracts Frost and Sinister we’re stuck.”

“It’s in his blood. If it’s in the blood, what comes next is spinal fluid.” Daken looked away and glared at the bars of their cell. “I suppose at least they’ll be busy with Jimmy for a while so Storm should be fine.”

Though they were in a tense situation and Lorna was feeling far from her best she couldn’t turn off the part of her brain that catalogued things, that stored information for later. _He's only just met her and Daken is considering her relative safety._ “Their interest in her is odd. There have been vampiric mutants in this universe. Jubilee was living with the curse till recently.”

That drew a chuckle from him and he gave her a look, “Jubilee is one of the people Logan considers _family_. You don’t just casually mess with any one of us. Unless of course you’re prepared to deal with the rest of the bunch and not many are. Some dimension traveling copy of someone is far less dangerous to fuck with.”

“Are you suggesting that is what they think of Jimmy, that he's just a copy?”

“No, not exactly. There’s no Jimmy that’s native to this world, as far as we know anyway. But he doesn’t belong and bad guys have a habit to use _any_ kind of excuse to justify what they’re doing.”

 _Bad guys. Alex._ Lorna swallowed and put a hand to her brow. It was difficult to think of him like that, even now. When she looked back at Daken there was steel in her eyes, “We need to be ready. That means collected and on the same page, not pacing and ripping our hair out.”

“You think I don’t know that? I’ve been doing this a few decades longer than you and usually alone.” Daken huffed and then leaned against the wall, arms crossed. “Let’s hope they underestimate Jimmy or we’ll be stuck here for awhile.”

Lorna nearly answered back but instead looked down at her hands.

An itch in his hands made him shift and then the soft _SNIKT!_ sounded and he smirked, “Heh, seems that the psychic leash has been severed. Knew he’d have a strong opinion on being tortured.”

Gazing Nightshade was on her feet as Lorna felt her hands tingling. “He’s a Sniktling.” Lorna reached out and looked at Xorn, at the collar, her hands glowed green, “I feel it, we’re free!”

_**CL-KLANK! KLANK!** _

The nasty thing fell to the floor and they all, all four of them, almost as one, turned to the door. “Everyone -- get ready.” Again Lorna embraced her power, felt it rush through her like a wave of warmth and excitement. She held out her hands and the door quivered. 

_**SHRAAAAK!** _

There was dust and debri in the air in the wake of their break out. Lorna took stock of what they had; a telepathic entity, a pulp noir teen ninja, a tactical brawler with decades of experience, and herself. _Yeah, we’re gonna do fine._ “If anyone gets in our way we knock them down -- **hard and fast**.” They stood shoulder to shoulder and it felt very much like they were an actual team.

“If you had just been patient, I could have let you out.” Emma Frost sounded as put upon as she looked. She, Jimmy, and Blood Storm had come racing around the corner at the sound of the door falling to the ground, only to find that their query had freed themselves, “I have the **door code** after all.”

Daken could smell blood, stress and just a hint of fear mixed into a lot of anger. Jimmy looked fine but they all did no matter what was done to them. Stepping forward he ignored the two women and just asked Jimmy, almost casually, “So they tortured you hu?”

Jimmy shrugged, “It’s sort of Sinister’s kink. Didn’t have me strapped in real well though.”

Stubbornness _did_ run in the family. Daken made a thoughtful sound and then remarked, “You know with your claws covered in blood and some fresh psychological trauma ... yeah alright, now I'm sure you're family.”

With a cheeky grin that would have looked at home on Gabby’s face Jimmy gave Daken a little snarl, “Come on, we’ve got work to do.”

“He’s right, we do.” Lorna looked at Frost, “Where’s Alex?”

* * *

Josh wasn’t sure why he was back in this mess. Or why he had come here on the request of _Magneto_. It had just felt wrong to turn the other way. Nothing would ever make him put on the suit again, not if he could help it but this, it was just a small task. Something simple. Footsteps, two sets of them, made him turn and he smiled at the source of this quite interesting virus, Jimmy Howlett. “The Mothervine Serum ...” He gestured at the hundreds upon hundreds of vials, “The virus, it's dying at the source. As I heal, so too can I destroy.”

There was a confused look on Jimmy’s face, “The source?” 

“That's right, Jimmy. I've purged it from your system, too.” He nodded, “Mothervine is destroyed.”

“Is it?” Daken cocked his head and looked at the endless rows of vials, “Or maybe the better question is … was that the right thing to do? I mean, sure we don’t want _programmable_ Mutants running around but still …”

“If I had my memories maybe I’d have an answer to that.” Jimmy looked at the wall too and then back at his brother, “I don’t think I’ll miss it.”

“Yeah, don’t worry … there are still plenty of reasons for creepy people to capture and torture you.”

Josh looked between the two of them. They were both looking amused and there seemed to be no tension despite that comment. “That’s not really comforting, Daken.”

That made Daken arch a brow, “Who said it was supposed to be?”

“So far as I understand it, being captured for experiments is sort of a family tradition.” Jimmy looked over at the attractive golden skinned young man, "I’m trying not to let it get to me.”

“It really is an X-Men tradition.” Turning back to the vials he continued his work, looking completely done with that conversation.

Jimmy turned to Daken, “You know, you don’t have to worry about me so much.”

“Do I look like I worry about much of anything?” He arched a brow.

“The look on your face when you saw me roughed up sure said you did, never mind the stink of concern rollin’ off of you.” Jimmy shrugged, “Maybe it was Blood Storm you were worried about. Didn’t think she was your type though.”

“Funny.” Rolling his eyes he shrugged at Jimmy, “You’re family. Get used to being worried about.”

Jimmy reached out and put a hand on Daken’s shoulder. He didn’t have words for it, for any of this.

* * *

It seemed that things were finally calming down again. Daken had been gone from the school for about a week and he wasn’t _homesick_ but he did miss the routine of living there. Who would have guessed that he’d end up enjoying a bit more structure in his days? Aside from his therapist of course because she apparently found it amusing that he thought chaos was what he thrived on. _I missed a session with her … wonder if Laura thought of calling her for me. I just forgot._

After a few minutes of silence he reached into his pocket and pulled his phone out, opening the messenger. After all, he had a dare to fulfill and Daken intended to do so. It was about time he stopped playing games anyway - Bobby deserved better than that.

> **H -** Hey there, you haven’t texted in a while. You owe me a coffee, Professor.
> 
> Me? I haven't texted? I owe you? Hiro you are mysterious but you cannot fool me. You've been giving me radio silence my man. **\- B**
> 
> **H -** Don’t be like that. I’m a busy man with too much bs going on. Think it might be time we meet for that coffee though … as long as you’re not thinking of taking me to Starbucks.
> 
> Nah, there's a place I like to go in Greenwich Village. Third Rail over on Sullivan. You know it? **\- B**
> 
> **H -** I’m about to. How does tomorrow sound?

Daken sighed as he stared at the phone screen. He had to remove this _lie_ between them. It was standing there like a shadow ready to ruin everything.

> I want to see you today? I feel like you're going to stand me up if we don't hurry up and do this. **\- B**
> 
> **H -** Not in the US right now but I will be back tomorrow afternoon.
> 
> I’ll be there from 1 to 3. I’ll be wearing a brown shirt and kitten shoes. **\- B**
> 
> **H -** Kitten shoes? You do have interesting taste …
> 
> If you show up tomorrow that’s the least interesting thing you’re going to find out about me Hiro **\- B**

Bobby closed his phone and stared up at the ceiling. _Daken what the hell are you doing? Why don’t you just come back and talk to me?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hello there, Nausi here!**  
>  A shorter chapter with a guest PoV. It was nice to say hello to Lorna. Bunn does a remarkable job with her. Just as a heads up to our readers, we will not be following the rest of the canon Blue arc. Everything after 28 is not canon for Earth-4214. You lovely beings should be used to this from us by now, we skim along what’s happening in the comics, and take what we can use, fix what we are outraged by, and ignore what is too broken to fix. Both Finn and I cannot see how the Poison storyline fits in with our story and are thus trashing it.
> 
> ~~~~~
> 
> Finn doesn't do end of chapter notes but given the circumstances I just want to give a heads up. The link below leads to art that goes along with this story but I want to highlight specifically that I am no artist. I write and I enjoy to paint but I'm not usually the person that does sketches and designs clothing. But here you go anyway. Plus bonus music playlist even!
> 
> [Click me for art!](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/post/175420132587/the-devil-you-know-complimentary-art-for-the)  
>  [Click me for music!](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/post/175416289627/quentin-quire-playlist-mindless-self-indulgence)


	39. Chapter 39

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken has confessions to make and what's a better place for that then a coffee shop?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Warnings:** Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Fake Dating Profile, Confessions, Get Together, Kissing, Sexual Undertones
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

The Third Rail was set in a block long, multi story building. It was a small coffee shop tucked between a convenience store, with fresh cut flowers, and a delightful mexican restaurant, La Newyorkina. Above there were people living their lives, watching tv, screaming, crying, all of it, six stories worth of life. In the coffee shop itself, there were people waiting to get their caffeine, or to meet friends, or to change their lives. _Maybe that last one is just me._ Bobby fiddled with the newspaper he was holding and crossed his legs again. He’d been here for two hours already because he’d left early, and arrived early, and had already had three drinks and been to the bathroom twice. Aside from the fact that he couldn’t believe there were still real print newspapers for people to not read, Bobby had nothing to distract him from his nerves. Daken had gone with Magento, kissed him on the cheek and promised to come back. That was _after_ he’d spent the night in Bobby’s arms of course. Then instead of coming home Daken was messaging him from his fake dating profile. _Why is everything so complicated? Don’t we want the same thing? Clearly I matter to him. Hopefully he knows he matters to me to._

Bobby looked up when he heard the door open, like he had every time for the past hour, but this time what he saw had him hiding behind his unread news paper. _Holy shit I’m underdressed! I should’ve listened to Quen. I can’t believe-_ Bobby peeked over around the paper and his eyes nearly bugged out of his skull _-holy shit! That shirt is so tight it looks like it should be bursting. Who made it legal for him to roll his sleeves up like that? Who said he was allowed to wear a light colored, sort of silvery blue, vest thing over a black button up WITH THE SLEEVES ROLLED UP!? Who said he could wear formalish with boots and no blazer?! Who the hell signed off on this? And why am I in my Thundercats Ho! shirt with freaking kitten keds and acid wash jeans? Why?_ The reason for their meeting, the pretense of Daken being Hiro, all of that drained out of Bobby’s head as he tried to hide behind the newspaper in his hands.

The shades came off as Daken stepped into the coffee shop. It was midday, and the sun was brighter than it needed to be outside. Daken did not look over to where he knew Bobby was sitting right away, he took in the location first. It smelled of freshly roasted coffee beans, heavy cream, baked goods and honey. At the very least Bobby had good taste in coffee shops. Starbucks was the type of place Daken would only ever enter if he hadn’t slept in seventy two hours and needed whatever caffeine he could get. That place smelled of artificial flavors and sweeteners which both offended his senses.

Turning, he approached the table where Bobby was attempting to hide behind a newspaper and settled down. His voice was smooth and confident as he greeted Bobby casually, “Good afternoon, Professor.”

Without lowering the paper Bobby answered, “Hi Kitten.”

“So, you’ve figured it out before this hu?” Jimmy had been right, fooling Bobby Drake wasn’t that easy. Daken leaned forward and took the paper from Bobby, folding it as he continued, “I suppose I should’ve expected that. You’d be a lot less fun if you weren’t smart enough for that.”

“Smart enough to put the pieces together, and smart enough to know that there were only two possibilities as to why you were doing it.” Bobby knew that Daken could tell he was compromised by how he was dressed, by seeing him again after a week. There was no use trying to hide it. He was proud of himself for being able to meet the other’s gaze with a little grin on his lips. 

Daken paused their conversation as the waitress approached and only after ordering a mochaccino did he turn back to Bobby. “Two possibilities? Which are …?”

“Possibility the first, you’ve been playing me from the start and Hiro is just another layer in your intricate web of lies and games.” Bobby said it nonchalantly, as if that wouldn’t break his heart and then continued, attempting to be just as cool as he had started out being, “Possibility the second, you were curious and confused and exploring your feelings. You’re used to lying and being lied to, used to people who always have an agenda and want something from you. So you gave into an urge to see a different side of me, and got yourself stuck in a bit of a pickle.”

“Hm, yes I think that about covers what this _could_ be.” Daken leaned back and met these icy blue eyes, “I’d say the first sounds more like what everyone expects of me …”

“Oh stop it.” Bobby shook his head and rolled his eyes, “You’re an asshole, you’re dangerous, you’re a killer. So are half the people I live with. Stop with the act Kitten. You haven’t been fooling me with it for a while now.”

That drew a chuckle and Daken cocked his head, “I’d be disappointed if you still bought that act. I think we’ve moved past that when I started telling you my sob story.” The waitress returned and Daken gave her a charming smile as he thanked her.

“Daken, I’ve had it figured out since you ran off after the whole Logan debacle and _Hiro_ started texting me about his dad. I know we’re friends.” It was stupid how hard this was. Bobby was starting to see that what Quen had been saying was true, even Scott had picked up on it. _So why is this so damn hard?_ “Well, I know you don’t hate me, and I know I’d do some pretty stupid crap for you.”

“I’d advise not to do anything stupid just for me, Snowflake. It’s not worth it.” He picked up his cup, took a sip and then said surprised, “Huh, this is not bad.”

“Did you think I’d bring you to a place that made crappy coffee?” To this Bobby rolled his eyes and sighed, “I have some pride.”

“I thought maybe you would to pay me back for playing games.” Daken shrugged, “Not that I _was_ playing any. Honestly, I couldn’t tell you why I did it. At first anyway. Curiosity perhaps? Boredom maybe.”

“I doubt it was boredom.” Bobby cocked his head and lifted his brows, “Why did you keep doing it?”

“Because not being me is easier.”

“Honestly the biggest thing that gave it away was how similar you are to Hiro. My theory is that the jerk you walk around showing the world is the act, and the considerate thoughtful asshole you are with your sisters is the real you.”

“That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Does that make it easier to justify that I’m important to you? Telling yourself that beneath it all I’m caring and fundamentally good.”

For everything else Bobby had a quick answer, a clever little bit of understanding and compassion. This though, this variety of almost polite bluntness took him totally off guard. Bobby didn’t know what to say, or how to feel even. There didn’t seem to be a ‘right’ answer. Bobby swallowed and looked at Daken, “I … once I figured out that you weren’t in the same league as Mister Sinister, Selene, or Mastermind and were more of a Magneto grade person I figured I would just give you the same benefit of the doubt I give everyone else who isn’t sheer unadulterated evil. But yeah, it does make me feel better to assume you aren’t horrible, and I do care about you.”

There was a long pause following these words and it was the sort of pause that was heavy with tension. Daken sat the cup down eventually and then spoke, “The Man that hurt me … he's alive. I thought he was dead but he isn't. You think I'm not fundamentally evil and bad? I'd say that's a nice thought but the things I'd do to him if I could … they bring a whole new definition to the word _evil.”_

Bobby looked around them and then back at Daken. This wasn’t the place. He wanted to try to relate to Daken again; to make it clear that Bobby didn’t think he was some monster, but nothing he could think of to say was fitting for a place like this. “I’ve got no idea what he’s done to you, strike that, I have nightmarish guesses based on the things you have and haven’t said.” Bobby’s mind went to the way Daken had acted that night when they’d gone hunting evidence, and he had to suppress a shiver. “I’d help you. So, what does that say about me?”

“That you're crazy.” Daken chuckled and then reached across the the table, fingertips brushing against Bobby's hand. 

“If you’re only now figuring that out your not as good at reading people as you’ve got everyone thinking you are.” Bobby took a chance and snatched up Daken’s hand. “I don’t know your story, but I want to earn your trust. I want to know.”

They were sitting in a coffee shop, holding hands, and outside it had started to rain heavily. Daken felt like he had accidentally stepped into a cliche romance novel and he wasn't making it any better with the next words, “I'm falling for you.”

“Can you hear my heart?” Bobby held onto Daken’s hand and looked him in the eyes with a flush threatening to take over his face. “What I’m trying to say is, ditto.”

“This is such a bad idea.” Daken breathed out heavily and then chuckled, “Aren't you looking for someone to … _explore_ with? You were in the closet for ages, gotta make up for lost time.”

“I’m not saying there isn’t stuff we’d have to figure out. None of which we can really talk about in a coffee shop. What I’m saying is I want to figure it out, together.” Bobby shrugged and pulled Daken’s hand up against his chest. The knuckles were right over his heart. 

“Bobby …” Daken didn't draw his hand back but he did go very, very still. The image of claws piercing through soft skin and icy blue eyes going wide as blood dripped down from the corner of pink lips passed through his mind and it terrified him that the thought even came at all. _Habit. It's habit. You're scared and violence is your go to when dealing with that._ “Let's go home.”

It was easy to see that there weren’t many things Daken could have said that would’ve made Bobby happier. They sat there looking at each other, “I hoped you’d say that.”

“I didn't see your car here … you came via ice-slides, didn't you?” Daken cocked his head.

“Yeah, I was too nervous to do New York traffic.” They stood up, and their hands stayed locked together. “You didn't bus did you? Did you drive?”

“Of course I drove. You think I'd bother with with a bus or a cab?” Daken chuckled, put a twenty on the table and then guided Bobby out of the coffee shop. “Good thing we are both pretty much indestructible because I didn't bring a helmet.”

“You better hope we don't get pulled over.” Bobby followed Daken and tried not to be giddy at the idea of riding bitch. It would be up to an hour ride if the traffic wasn't just right. 

“If we are, I have ways to get out of any trouble.” Getting on the bike he waited for Bobby to settle behind him and then smiled when these arms wrapped around his waist. “Admit it, you’re excited for prolonged contact.”

“Without helmets in the way,” Bobby nuzzled in against the back of Daken’s neck with a smile that shone in his tone, “I can breath on your neck the whole way.”

“Don’t blame me if we crash because of that.”

“Because you hate it?” Bobby was already shifting a little in anticipation of Daken's answer.

“Do you think _I’m_ made of ice?” Leaning a little into the contact between them he left it at that as he started the bike and drove down the road.

Mostly Bobby just held on. There was too much wind and noise to enjoy the ride as a ride. Instead he laid his cheek against one of Daken's shoulder blades and closed his eyes. The rumble of the bike, the sounds of the city, the firm reality of Daken's presence in his arms was more than enough to keep him occupied.

~~~~

For a good fifty minutes they simply enjoyed each other's company as they drove. Traffic wasn’t being all that nice and for once Daken didn’t break the rules and just slip between the cars and get wherever he wanted faster. The contact was too enjoyable for that. It did came to an end to soon as he drove onto the school grounds and parked the bike in the garage.

“I sort of wish that could have gone on forever.” Before letting go Bobby held on a little tighter. Then he dismounted and turned to face Daken. Bobby wasn't blushing anymore. 

Getting up he stretched lazily and then met Bobby’s eyes, “So … now what? You’re the one who has done this before.”

“You think I know what I'm doing? Or that this is like anything I've ever done? I didn't try to talk out what women wanted. I performed a role. The first time I picked a guy up it was by beating him to a pair of shoes while making fun of him for standing in line.”

Daken arched a brow, almost said something and then thought better of it. Judah was still a topic they avoided completely and that was not something he wanted to change. Instead he shrugged and then said, “Well, I’d suggest we move this to your room since the garage is too public a place for … anything.”

“Your room has better blankets.” There was a second of hesitation. It wasn't about words or where they were going, it was about touch. Bobby had almost convinced himself to take Daken's hand. “Come on.”

_Your room smells like you._ Daken sighed and followed. After a moment of walking next to each other he brushed his hand against Bobby’s.

Their eyes met for a moment as Bobby laced their fingers together. There were people in the halls. There were eyes on them. Bobby didn't care, touching Daken felt right. After that it was just walking till they got to his room. Bobby opened the door, “Make yourself at home.”

People had looked and Daken was pretty sure he had heard someone whisper about getting a picture. He didn’t care. There was no shame in him, not over this. “You know …” He settled down on the couch, undoing the buttons on his vest slowly, “I told Laura I wasn’t going to do this. Apparently I don’t listen to myself.”

“You've talked to Laura about us, and you already decided not to do this?” Bobby closed and locked the door before pushing all his fingers through his hair. _Why do you look so good just opening your vest?_ “Point for me immediately negated. Damn.”

“Come here.” He waited for Bobby to be close and then took his hands, kissing along the knuckles, “I didn’t say I wasn’t going to … I said I wouldn’t do it while I’m still such a goddamn mess of a person.”

“Oh.” Bobby felt his heart jump. The tenderness did things to him. Words seemed appropriate so he opened his mouth, “I tried to make out with someone to prove to myself that I didn't want this, had a shame fueled panic attack, and spilled my guts to Quen. All of that before we swung by to pick you and the geezer up. It was a fun night.”

“What did everyone’s favorite twink say to it?”

“A lot, most of which I am not at liberty to share but mostly … he doesn't hate you and he spent a lot of time telling me to stop with the 'He’s out of my league’ talk.”

Daken looked up and there was honest surprise for a moment followed by a frown, “You think _I’m_ out of _your_ league?”

“You're highly educated, you have super sophisticated taste in everything, your sense of humor is on point at all times, you speak every language, you dress like seduction is your mission every day, and you are objectively infuriatingly good looking.” Bobby shrugged and shook his head a little, “Dark past, yeah the darkest it sounds like. Questionable morals, sure but come on I've explained how that isn't a deal breaker. Clearly you … why are you looking at me like that?”

Daken stood up, hands settling on Bobby’s hips as he leaned close, “Stop talking and kiss me.”

“Wha-why? Oh.” They were almost as close as they had been on the bike, but now they were facing each other and Daken was _looking_ at him. His hands found their way onto Daken's shoulders as Bobby leaned in. “Still confused.”

“Shh.” Daken chuckled as his hands slid up to cup Bobby's face in them, “Just … yeah …” Leaning in he kissed the corner of Bobby's lips and then let theirs meet for the second time. It was nothing like the first.

The sound Daken coaxed out of him was a long low moan of delight. They came together in an almost surprised manner, as though neither of them could believe it was happening. As Bobby processed the fact that Daken was kissing him he began to kiss back with more than a little enthusiasm. The idea that Daken could taste and smell how he was feeling sent a shiver through him. It was incredible to think that Daken might literally taste his adoration and excitement. 

Coffee, vanilla and something unique that was simply _Bobby_. Daken sighed into the kiss and tilted his head ever so slightly as his lips parted. They were kissing. This wasn’t supposed to happen, not now, but he wasn’t good at not just taking what he wanted. Never had been, and now wasn’t the time to change that. Now was the time to just take life as it was and enjoy each moment to the fullest.

Nothing had been tight lipped up to that point but when Bobby felt Daken really parting his lips something changed. He moaned again and moved his hands to Daken's back, he pressed closer at the chest and pulled away a little at the hip. Bobby felt his heart race as his mind blurred with euphoria. _I am in love with you Daken._

They only parted when they were both breathless and Daken nuzzled right in, kissing over Bobby's neck. “You're aroused …”

Though Bobby had only just caught his breath he shot off an answer. “The most intelligent and beautiful person I ever met just kissed me like my lips were better than breathing, yeah I'm turned on.” Bobby licked his lips, “I'm made of hot air, not ice. Not right now anyway.”

“You know Reed Richards and Tony Stark and so many more who are smarter than me.” Leaning back he looked into Bobby's eyes and chuckled, “But I'll take being the prettiest.”

“You're both.” Bobby wanted to kiss Daken again but held back. “I still don't understand what just happened. I told the truth and you came for me.”

“Mhmh.” Sighing he turned them, made Bobby sit down and then straddled his lap. “I'm easy … compliment me a little and suddenly I just need to kiss you a lot.”

Daken was in his lap and Bobby was hard. It wasn’t something he’d normally be embarrassed by but he knew Daken’s interest in sex was low, and they had only just kissed. “I don’t know what you think I’m expecting. Mostly it’s for the world to catch on fire and us to have to save it.” Bobby put his hands on Daken’s waist and looked up at him, “So I’m not expecting a blowie or anything like that, just so we’re clear.”

“Yes.” Nuzzling in he wrapped his arms around Bobby’s neck and just went pliant. “I know … you don’t smell like you _want_ something …. just like excitement and coffee. If erections meant consent then I wouldn’t be half as fucked up as I am.”

“Me too.” Bobby ran his hands over Daken’s back and tried not to think too much about how good the weight and heat of Daken in his lap felt. It was a sharp contrast to what Daken had so casually made illusions to. “And just … I get the feeling sex is what people expect from you, it’s what I thought when we first met.”

“Yes, it is. Not you though … I offered and you didn’t go for it.” There was wonder in his voice and he added, as if that was a miracle, “You didn’t use me.”

“You came to me because you needed someone to care and I care so I didn’t let you turn it into some sort of transaction.” Bobby nuzzled in a little before leaning back so they could look each other in the eyes, “I care about you. I haven’t stopped thinking about you in months.”

“Everything comes with a price.” Daken chuckled softly, “I don’t know anymore if that’s true or not. It was true for decades, a lifetime really. Unlearning what’s been beaten into me isn’t easy.”

“It really isn’t, I know it’s harder for you after decades but I … well I’ve got some shitty things to unlearn too.” It was hard to catch his breath and think straight, Bobby stopped trying, “I know I’m too gay to function but your eyes are just really, really pretty.”

“You really do think I’m beautiful, don’t you? Usually that initial _oh he’s pretty_ fades when people get to know me.”

“You’re so pretty that the first time I laid eyes on you I got angry.” Bobby thought about that for a moment and then scrunched his face up, “Not the most romantic thing ever but I’m pretty sure the angry at how pretty you are was a standard me reaction.”

That made him chuckle and cock his head, “You should see me with make-up. Bet I could make you have to excuse yourself …”

“Make-up …” Bobby stared at Daken, clearly trying to imagine it, and then groaned and shifted, “Yeah, I think you’ll win that wager.”

“The way you looked at me when I came into the cafe … I liked that. It didn’t feel as if you were just seeing _something_ that you enjoy looking at but _someone_.”

“I missed you!” The words came out as more of a declaration than he’d intended them to. Bobby took a breath before he said more, “You could have come in wearing a burlap sack and I would’ve been excited, but you did this dark shirt light skin tight vest thing and sort of killed me.”

“I missed you too.” Kissing Bobby’s cheek he smiled at him, “I liked waking up in your arms …”

“I loved that.” Bobby leaned in and kissed Daken’s cheek in return, “The night on your sofa had me feeling needy for days. Don’t even ask me about how I felt when you left with Jimmy and Magneto.”

“You were tense, worried … I could smell it. That’s why I kissed your cheek before leaving. I didn’t want you to think that what happened meant nothing. I don’t … I never sleep through a night.”

“At first I sort of thought that I was reading too much into things and that you leaving with Jimmy and Magneto was a wake up call.” Bobby licked his lips and shifted a little, “I’d started to think that maybe you were falling for me and had a bit of a mini heartbreak.”

“I’ve fallen and I don’t intend to get back up. Think I like this …”

“... shit we’re dating.” Bobby leaned up and kissed Daken on the lips firmly with a little ‘mwah’ sound. His heart was in his throat and he didn’t know what else to say. 

“Oh, scary big words. Careful, I’ve got a pretty prominent flight instinct.” Chuckling he pushed his hands through Bobby’s hair and kissed his forehead.

“Don’t run.” Bobby turned his head and pressed his lips to the inside of Daken’s wrists, “I’d follow you into hell.”

“Is that a promise?” Daken leaned back, expression serious now.

“Yeah.” Without a moment of hesitation Bobby nodded, “I’d follow you in, and freeze the place solid.”

All Daken did in reply was to kiss Bobby again. There weren’t any words which would suffice at expressing what he was feeling.

Just like before Bobby wasn’t really sure why these words were rewarded with such affection. To him it seemed natural, if you loved someone you were willing to do things for them. Bobby was an X-man, that meant his idea of what was doable, what was possible, was different than the average person. He would literally freeze hell over in order to find Daken. There was no doubt in him of that. His hips rose up as his hands settled on Daken’s hips. 

Daken tried to breath through it. He tried to tell himself this was nothing, just a normal reaction to kissing and being close and that Bobby wasn’t going to demand anything. It didn’t help. It didn’t make that feeling of _too much_ go away. Pulling back he looked down, shook his head and then slid from Bobby’s lap.

“Hey.” Bobby caught his breath and looked more than a little embarrassed, “Sorry. I don’t want you to leave, but if you need some space, or some time I trust you. I shouldn’t have gotten carried away like that.”

Shaking his head again he cuddled up to Bobby’s side and smiled, a little shy maybe if that was a thing he was even capable of. “I want to stay … I just … I don’t want _that_.”

“Got it.” Bobby kissed Daken’s cheek, and then the side of his neck, and smiled against his ear. “I never want to stop touching you.”

“Good thing you’re getting to keep me then hu? I’d like to sleep in your bed again.”

“Yes.” With warm needy lips Bobby kissed over the shell of Daken’s ear and then up over the shaved side of his head. “Yes.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hello everyone, Nausi here!**  
>  We’ve come a long way. It took us 16 chapters to work through Iceman 2017 and All New Wolverine Orphans of X. After that we spent the next 23 chapters building a friendship and base of respect between Bobby and Daken. We’ve been writing this story for roughly six months. We were already working on it when I was sitting by my father’s bedside in the hospital. Writing this story has gotten me through a lot, and it’s done the same for Finn. We’ve met some wonderful friends from the readers who comment. A few of you we talk to often now. It’s be an incredible journey and I am so glad that it isn’t over!
> 
> The boys have kissed, they’ve made a confession, but that was never the end goal. Finn and I already have ten more chapters in the works covering not only what happens between Bobby and Daken, but what strange forces have been at work. Why are Logan and Scott back from the dead? What are we doing instead of the Poison plot? Does Kitty marry Piotr in Earth-4212? If they don’t will someone else get hitched like in the comics? What will Purple team’s first mission be? So on and so forth. We aren’t done friends. We aren’t even close to the finish line. Thank you for seeing us to this milestone. I hope you’re as excited as we are to see where the story takes us next!
> 
> Please feel free to leave guesses and requests. Who knows? Maybe you’ll inspire something!
> 
> ~ Nausi


	40. Chapter 40

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding is nearing and some people haven’t been preparing properly. Thankfully it turns out that finding a date is only half as hard as you’d expect it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:**  
>  **Part 1:** Friendship, Telepathy, Crushes, Relationships, Wedding Plans  
>  **Part 2:** Brother/Sister Bonding, Relationships, Wedding Plans
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Life was strange. _Thank god it’s Saturday._ Bobby rubbed a hand over his head and breathed out heavily. Daken had gone back to his own room to get a shower and likely to realize that this was a stupid idea. _Don’t start in on it like that Drake. You’ve got plenty to offer. More than that he likes you. That’s clear._ Bobby walked from his bed to the desk and back again. He was half dressed, just underwear and jeans, hair still damp and clinging to the back of his neck, feet bare. His mind was too clouded with intense emotions for him to care or worry about clothes, or food, or his phone. The way Daken had smiled at him and held his hand while saying 'see you later’ kept coming back to him. That was real. It had to be real. _If this is an act then no one has ever been honest in the history of ever._

For the past hour all that Quentin was feeling from Bobby was worry, anxiety and a general feeling of uneasiness. Without having to really look and focus he knew that Bobby was pacing in his room and fussing with things even though the room was clean and orderly. An hour of that sort of second hand anxiety was an hour too much. That was why he was floating a tray with breakfast in front of himself as he knocked on Bobby’s door. The damn icicle was so worried that he woke him up and if there was anything Quentin hated then it was to be woken up on a Saturday morning. Bobby was lucky that Quentin liked him because someone else might have gotten a headache or an unexplainable itch somewhere in return for ruining his Saturday morning. Without waiting for the reply he opened the door and casually said, “If you aren’t wearing underwear, you shouldn’t have an open door.” Then he looked and sighed, “Aw, no show for me and here I was hoping ...”

“Uh … hi?” Bobby cocked his head and just looked at Quen with his brows up in confusion, “What’re you doin’ up on a Saturday morning Quire? Something wrong?”

“I don't know, you tell me. It's your worried mind which woke me up.”

“How does that work? There’s an entire school here, other people have to be worried, upset, pissed off. How is it my mind that wakes you?” Bobby shot Quen a defensive glance and then turned away to find a shirt. “Set that down anywhere.”

“I don't keep track of other people though. It's only you, Jimmy and Evan who I give enough of a fuck about.” Putting the tray down he settled on the couch and crossed his legs. “I mean, if I did this for everyone, I would have lost my damned mind years ago.”

“Exclusive club.” It was no small thing to have a telepath so interested and worried about you that they caught onto your general mood in the midst of a large group. Bobby pushed a hand over his hair and wondered if he was ever going to get it cut. It brushed his shoulders when it was weighed down like this now. After he sat down next to Quen Bobby sighed, “Daken’s back and … we talked.”

Putting the plate in Bobby's hands he said, “Eat, I cooked. I don't do that often. I even managed not to ruin it … asked Summers to help me out.” Taking his own stack of pancakes he added, “So you talked. Aaaand?”

Bobby looked at the food. Pancakes, strawberries, whipped cream and what he figured was butter and honey. It looked good, smelled good, and he was hungry. Bobby started to eat and just thought very loudly at Quen so he didn’t have to try to talk and eat at the same time. _[He said he’d fallen for me, we kissed, and when I stupidly exclaimed that we were dating he didn’t run.]_

_[Well fuck me - **finally!** You two figured it out after all. So what's the problem? I mean, if he didn't run then everything is okay right?!]_

_[It’s not that easy. I mean. It is.]_ Bobby looked over at Quen and tried to purse his lips and look contrite but his mouth was far too full for the expression to hold water. _[I’m going to screw it up because I’m entirely too horny and he’s everything. God he’s everything.]_

There was a long pause as he contemplated that and just chewed his breakfast and nursed his third cup of coffee. Bobby had never struck him as an overly sexual person or too stupid to know when not to go for home base. So either he was worried too much or Quentin was missing some vital point of information. “Alright, I bite - too horny? I don’t think that’s true and last I checked Daken seemed to be pretty easy and comfortable with sexual stuff. Guy is constantly flirting and always looks like he’s trying to get some.”

“Ha!” Bobby had to laugh at that. There was honey on his face now, smeared from eating too fast, and not giving a damn. “Do you have any idea how much trouble I’ve gotten myself into over sex I didn’t even want to be having? How messed up is that? I slept with Lorna while she was with Alex, just to give you a single example. And Daken … It’s complicated and not my story to tell but let’s just say that outward appearances, posturing, all of that, it’s deceiving okay?”

“You did wh-” Quentin stopped mid question and blinked a few times before saying, “You wanted to sleep with Alex, didn’t you? Alex Summers yeah?”

“I think I did, and you know what the crazy thing is? I could have banged Jean-Paul. Looking back he was totally throwing himself at me before he met Kyle. I was barking up the _wrong_ tree Quen.” Bobby sighed and shook his head, “I was hyper sexual because I had something to prove. Now I’m out and I’m working through stuff, but I’m still a mess, and I still have all these urges and Daken is … he’s _everything_.”

“You don’t have a crush. You don’t even love him. You’re _in love_ with him.” Quentin shook his head slowly and filled his cup once more. This required a drink and not coffee but he didn’t think he could get away with drinking at seven o’clock. “Bobby, you’re in trouble. If he’s just faking it and you’re having a whole fifteen or so years of repressed sexual urges … well, you should’ve gotten laid before you started dating.”

“Yeah, I guess I should’ve I guess. Though it’s not like I was living like a monk. There was Judah, and some grinder dates. I just didn’t go all the way.” Bobby went for his mug of coffee and tried not to think about anything. 

“All the way … an orgasm is an orgasm. There’s no difference.” Waving a hand he leaned back and sipped from his cup, “Either way, there are options to deal with sexual frustration but you’ll be having a lot of alone time if you’re trying to take it slow with him.”

“Yeah, that’s about where I’m at.” Bobby looked over at Quentin and smiled a little, “It means a lot to me that you took it like this man. I know Daken acts a certain way, and people have certain ideas about him. I did too. That’s something else I’m not looking forward to; trying to explain my frustration to friends and having them be all confused about why _playboy Daken_ isn’t putting out.”

“For the record; I _am_ confused about that but hey, I know that faking to be a certain way is a thing some people do … I do it.”

“I know.” Bobby reached over with a sticky hand and patted Quentin’s shoulder. “I wish Kitty would take a chill pill and be this reasonable when I talk to her.”

“Pryde doesn’t like me. She doesn’t like Daken either. Anyone who is more complex than her tiny mind can comprehend is _evil_ and _dangerous_.”

“She wasn’t always like this. The last five years have been really hard on her. Kitty’s actually a very loving person. She’s … well she’s a lot like Scott actually, a little better at people but not good at them either. She pretends like she’s good at dealing with emotions, but she’s only good at other people’s feelings, not her own.” Bobby sighed, “It’s … she was _gifted_ , not just mutation, like mature at a young age, smarter than the average kid, but her social skills …” Bobby sighed and shook his head. 

“Bobby … I’m a telepath. I know all of that but it doesn’t mean that I can’t just plain dislike someone okay? If knowing all the issues people have meant I am not allowed to be petty and simple than I’d have to like every single person alive because we all have issues.”

“And not all my friends have to get along but Quentin, just … just trust me about Kitty. Don’t count her out.” Bobby made a face, “Don’t look too deeply into my head right now okay? Most of this isn’t my place to comment on.”

“I don’t need to look into your head to know more about Pryde than I want to. You’d think being out as a Mutant would make it _easier_ to be out in general but it really doesn’t.”

“I know first hand that it doesn’t. Being a mutant, experiencing the sort of hate we get, that made me _more_ afraid.” Bobby sighed, “My parents barely tolerated me before, and then I started making it snow -” Bobby shook his head. “I just want my friend back and I don’t think -” His phone went off, it was a Dazzler song, “Speak of the devil that’s her.” 

“Ten dollars on her freaking out over the wedding.”

“Oh frosted flakes!” Bobby groaned and jumped up to get his phone from the bedside table. “That’s coming up. I almost forgot. I know, bad friend.” Bobby made a face, “I forgot to RSVP.”

“Yeah, you’re in trouble Icicle.” Quentin smirked and crossed his legs, looking rather amused.

“It’s next weekend!” Bobby groaned and made a face, “I have to go to Piotr’s bachelor party. I have to tell her if I’m bringing a date … shit.” He started to tap out a message to Daken. 

> So I forgot about Kitty’s wedding one week from now. Gotta RSVP ASAP. Wanna be my +1? [winky emoji here] **\- B**  
>  **D -** You’re inviting me to the wedding? Is Pryde not going to throw a fit if I show up?  
>  You’re an X-Men and she didn’t say I couldn’t. I want you to be my date **\- B**  
>  **D -** Yes. Under the condition that you’ll come shopping with me.  
>  That easy? Sure, we can go anywhere you want [Kitten emoji] **\- B**

“You just asked Daken to be your date, didn’t you?” Quentin arched a brow and tried to get a glance at the screen, curious how these two texted.

There was nothing too steamy on his screen so Bobby didn’t try to stop Quen. Instead he just nodded, “Yeah, and he said yes.”

“You sure that’s a good idea? Bobby, he’s gonna wear one of these fitted suits and look goddamn unholy good.”

There was a wide grin on Bobby’s face as he texted Kitty, “Oh I’m sure it’s a great idea. It’s better than missing this opportunity to actually dance with Daken.”

“Slow dance, both dressed up, pressed close … yeah, brilliant idea.” Quentin nodded and then asked, “Why the hell is he called _Kitten_ on your phone?”

“Because I know what ‘ _daken’_ means now and I’m not going to call him that.” Bobby looked at Quentin very seriously, “Kitten is stupid and overly fluffy but it’s better than calling him a racial slur.”

“Oh you _didn’t_ know? I thought that was common knowledge. Been amused by him just going around calling himself a bastard since I first heard that name.”

“I missed it.” Bobby sighed. Kitty wasn’t happy about Daken, but that was something he could deal with later, after she’d had a chance to chew him out via text. Bobby set his phone down and looked back at Quentin. “There’s a dark humor to it but it’s not something you call someone tenderly.”

“True.” Quentin nodded and fiddled with the spoon, clearly thoughtful. “I’ve got an invite too, for the wedding. Think she couldn’t convince herself that it was fine not to invite me.”

“Or she isn’t a total waste of air and _wants_ you to feel like part of the family.” Bobby put a hand back on Quen’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes, “You are part of my family.”

Quentin felt his heart skip a beat and he had to take a second to gather himself. It was not that he never had a family but they had always wanted him to not be him. Literally. Bobby supported him fully and without hesitation. _Family hu? Yeah okay._ Quentin shrugged and tried not to let his thoughts show too plainly as he answered, “I’ve been wondering if I should bother going. I mean, it’s a bit heterosexual for my taste and so boring. Besides, who the fuck am I gonna ask to come along? Guess I could go for the usual cover up ... Idie might not be opposed to a wedding date …”

“That’s your go to?” Bobby frowned and cocked his head, “I thought you were sweet on Jimmy. Why wouldn’t you just ask him?”

“One, that’s a hell of a way to out myself and two, have you looked at me? As if someone like Jimmy would go for it.”

“What, do you wanna be like me and send a mass text?” Bobby shrugged, “Besides, you’d have it all taken care of at once, and it’d hard to out yourself in a more flashy way.” 

“I’m all for big gestures and drawing attention but … that might be a bit too much even for me. I’ve been avoiding any and all questions for years, Bobby. You know what they say about trans men who are into men? _You’re just a straight girl after all._ ”

“What they say is wrong and living your entire life in the closet is no way to live.” Bobby took a breath, “I don’t want to see you at the bottom of a bottle, or shooting up, or worse Quentin. If now isn’t the time to come out, alright. It’s not my place to push you. I know it’s different for you, but I’m telling you from experience that there’s nothing as liberating as being your real authentic self. I think it’s worth all the BS people try to throw.”

There was a pause and then Quentin reached for his phone, starting to text as he asked, “You think I’ll end as a junky if I don’t come out? Am I that obviously fucked up?”

“I think that’s what happened to me but passing and anger are my drugs and I’m not nearly as strong as you are Quen.”

“Wanna know what my drug is?” He looked up from the phone and arched a brow.

“Yeah, I do.” It was not the conversation Bobby thought they’d end up having today, but it was an important one. There was no way Bobby was going to back down now. 

“Control.” Quentin shrugged, “For a couple of years I dealt with stress by counting calories, binge eating, throwing up, skipping meals … whatever felt right in the moment.” It wasn’t something he had talked about with anyone but his therapist. He wasn’t even sure why he was admitting it but Bobby had gained a lot of his trust, more so than anyone else. Pressing send he put the phone aside, not wanting to fuss with it while waiting for the reply.

Rather than answering straight off Bobby pulled Quentin into a hug and kissed the top of his head. When he spoke it was in a soft voice. “I like you. Six months ago I wasn’t sure about you, but the more I get to know your Quen, the more and more sure I get. You’re good enough just the way you are, and I’m proud to have you as my friend. None of this has anything to do with what you just said, I just … I felt like you deserved to hear it.”

The hug was unexpected but he didn’t draw back. There were only a handful of people who were allowed to touch him and Bobby was probably on top of that list. “Yay for grindr and my stupid idea of hitting on you just to see what you’d do. Otherwise we wouldn’t be here now.”

“See pranks are great.” Bobby chuckled, “Take that everyone else!”

“I don’t think I’d be here now if that hadn’t happened. I was going to leave after getting my powers working moderately again.”

“And who knows where you’d be?” Bobby leaned back and then went quiet as Quentin’s phone went off. 

> **Q -** Wedding happening next week. Wanna go with me?  
>  You mean like together? Or do you want me to sit with you? **\- J**  
>  **Q -** Together. As my +1.

“What’s he saying?” The question was asked while Bobby tried to lean around to get a peak at the text message conversation. 

> Does this include hand holding and a dance? **\- J**  
>  **Q -** If that’s what you’re looking for … yes.  
>  Yeah, was gonna ask you. Didn’t think you’d be up yet. Beat me to it Pinkie. **\- J**

Quentin stared at the text for a good minute and then said, confused, “He … he wanted to ask _me?”_

“Oh, I didn’t know he was invited but it’s not like we’d turn him away.” Bobby shrugged, “So, this is good right? Jimmy _wants_ to be your date.”

“No! This is bad. This is so, so bad.” Quentin groaned and fumbled with the phone, not sure what to answer. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with not being rejected.”

“Uh … you hold his hand and maybe you kiss him.” Bobby smiled and tried not to laugh. _Laughing would be rude right? Drake please._ “You dance with him and have a good time. Also you dress him. I have a feeling Jimmy is about as good at suits as I am.”

“But what if he … you know, has expectations?” Now Quentin was turning red and he knew it but tried to ignore it.

“Wow that fair complexion of yours isn’t forgiving at all.” Bobby grinned widely before growing more serious, “Look, Jimmy’s a good guy. Younger me has told me about him … more than I wanna know really.” It was a bit of a sore thing to bring up, the Teen X-Men were still missing in space, but Bobby tried not to let that derail things, “You just make your boundaries clear and he’ll respect them.”

Quentin took a deep breath and let it out slowly before tapping out a reply.

> **Q -** Be here on Thursday. Gotta get you fit for a suit.  
>  I’ll try to be there Wednesday. I miss you. **\- J**  
>  **Q -** Miss you too. See you Wednesday then.

“Goddamnit, I’m getting into quite the situation here aren’t I?” Quentin chuckled and rubbed both hands over his face, “Oh well, if you can manage dating Daken, I can handle a date.”

“Yeah.” Bobby smirked, “You can.” He nodded and leaned back, happy with the outcome. _Sometimes it’s good to be me. Sometimes it’s good to just hold onto hope and believe that good things can happen._

* * *

What did it say about him that he spent a good twenty minutes crying in the shower over the fact that he was dating? Well, if it had been sad tears then he'd definitely need to break up with Bobby immediately. It hadn't been sad tears. It hadn't been happy ones either though. Daken wasn't entirely sure what kind of tears they had been. Relief maybe, some worry, a bit of being overwhelmed with emotions he wasn't particularly good at coping with. A hint of fear too - for Bobby's safety and well-being because at the end of the day, Daken was still Daken and he had enemies but he also wasn't the most stable person around. There was a chance that he would hurt Bobby somehow.

_There is always a chance to hurt the one you love. That's not specifically a problem with me._ Shaking his head a himself he stepped out of the bathroom and settled on the bed to get dressed.

“Are you naked?” Gabby’s voice came through the door. “Wade says I shouldn’t see any more naked men till I’m thirty so I have to ask before I walk in!”

“Wilson can go suck ass.” Daken opened the door and looked down at his darling sister, “Come on in, I'll even put a shirt on if I have to.”

“I don’t think your chest is ‘rated X’.” Gabby smiled and then wrapped her arms around Daken. “Missed you!”

With a smile he picked her up and held her in his arms, kissing Gabby’s cheeks. “I’ve missed you too, princess. Jimmy says hi.”

“Oh! Jonathan misses him a lot.” It was nice to be held and made much of. Gabby wouldn’t have enjoyed it from just anyone, but Daken was her big brother. The excitement of having him home was starting to wear off though. At least enough for her to _see_ him. “Ken, what did you do to your hair?”

“My hair?” Daken blinked and then shrugged, “Oh yeah, I cut it. Also _Ken?_ ”

“One thing at a time!” Gabby huffed a little and pushed on his chest, “It’s not _too_ short but wow, you really let them hack it off didn’t you? I thought we had agreed _I_ am your stylist.”

“Gabby, you were starting to call me _Rapunzel_. If it weren’t for my shoulder width I would’ve looked like a girl from behind. It was getting out of control.”

“Since when have you cared about looking like a girl?” Her eyes went wide as she stared at her brother. “Does this have to do with Bobby?”

“Nope.” Daken sat her back down and turned, “Not having that conversation again! I refuse. Let me distract you with candy - I bought some good yummy things while I was gone.” He grabbed for his bag of goodies and started to search through it.

“Okay … so you hate Bobby now. Or he became a zombie. Or you don’t want me to hate him because of your hair.” Gabby narrowed her eyes, “I will get answers Ken.” 

“What’s up with the nickname?” Daken gave her a look before putting a box of pocky in her hands, strawberry flavored.

“Ohhh! Look at this!” Her eyes were wide now but with surprise rather than suspicion. Gabby sniffed the box and then made a pleased sound. “Mmm artificial strawberry tastes like the dreams of sad strawberries and ninja zombies.” It was only after she’d gotten three pocky into her mouth and received a very flustered look from Daken that she answered, “I’ve been studying Japanese. If you really want me to call you ‘bastard mutt dog’ sure I’ll go with it. However, I figured I could test out a nickname.”

“Is everyone going to start giving me pet names now to avoid calling me _Daken_?” Sighing heavily he settled down on the couch and opened a box of star shaped sugar candy, “It’s not _that_ bad. I mean, I am mixed.”

“It’s not a nice word. It’s been yours a long time though.” Gabby shrugged. “Like I said, if that’s what you want me to call you I will, but I want you to know that I know what it means when I say it now.” Six sticks of pocky disappeared into her delicate maw.

“A long time ago, there was someone who shortened Daken to _Ken_ because she couldn’t pronounce it properly.” Making a thoughtful sound he popped some candy in his mouth and then pulled two bottles of melon soda out of the bag. Handing one over to Gabby.

“Oh green goodness.” There was a smile on her face as she popped the marble down out of the neck of the ramune. “Bad memory?” Gabby asked. 

“Not the worst memory. I liked her.” Daken sipped from the bottle and then shrugged, “Ken is fine. The only person that ever really gave me a pet name used _Hiro_.”

“I like Hiro.” The smile on Gabby’s face was glowing. She’d nailed the pronunciation and managed _not_ to let it sound like ‘hero’. “What do you like brother?”

“Not sure, let me contemplate that for a bit.” Daken shrugged and reached over fluffing that silky black hair, “You picked your dress yet? For that wedding party. You and Laura will be going, right?”

“Uh … we are going. Laura and I are wearing dresses yeah.” Gabby nodded, “I think it’s black? We’re wearing just simple? Laura’s been distracted.”

“Laura in black is fine, it fits her and she looks good in it but you? Sweetheart, you should get something cute and pretty, in a nice color so you’ll feel like the princess you are.”

“I don’t want to bother Laura or make her feel bad.” Gabby shook her head, “She’s worried about our friends that are lost in space. Jimmy’s friends. And about everyone coming back from the dead.”

With a soft sigh he kissed the top of Gabby’s head and smiled at her, “We’ll go shopping together tomorrow okay? I’ll talk to Laura and make sure she’s going to be okay. I know with all these people coming back and with the whole missing people situation things aren’t so great but … that’s no reason to not live her life.”

“Her dress is stupid and she hates it.” Gabby leaned into Daken and closed her eyes, “I want her to look really cute. She’s lonely. Weddings are about love and finding someone against all the odds in our messed up, frantic, nine to five, explosion ripped world. I want someone to look at Laura and go, ‘Oh, I’d like to get a 25 with chicken to share with her’.”

“Yes, we’ll take her along of course and get her to try on something cute and pretty that fits her personality. After all, the one thing I’m good at is making people look amazing.” Daken chuckled when his phone played Bobby’s texting tune. “Hu …” Pulling the mobile from his pocket he opened the text and then frowned.

“Is someone dead?” Gabby thought for a moment and then asked, “Or alive? Is someone alive that you’d rather was dead?”

“No - well, technically yes but that’s unrelated.” Daken cocked his head and then sighed, “Bobby wants me to go to the wedding with him.”

“Why is that bad? Do you hate Bobby? Do you hate weddings? Oh! Maybe you’re cursed and going to a wedding will turn you into a vampire zombie!”

That drew a chuckle from him and he leaned back, looking still a bit worried but less tense. “No, I don’t hate Bobby. I like him … quite a bit.” _But am I ready to make a show of it?_

“Well that’s nice to hear. I was getting worried that the two of you were never going to work through all the repressed romantic tension.” Gabby nodded sagely, “This is better.”

“We … uh, well …” Daken looked uncharacteristically bashful for a moment before he pulled himself together, “I told him I liked him and we’re together.”

“Together?! As in kissing?” Her eyes were wide again, surprise and delight danced over her features as she watched Daken. “Really?”

Daken nodded and rubbed the back of his neck, “Yeah … I didn’t think that would be the result but yeah, he likes me too. The fool.”

“I approve. Bobby has always been my favorite X-Man.” The words were said with warmth. Gabby leaned close to Daken and nodded, “He isn’t a fool though. He’s got pretty good judgment.”

“Oh you’re cute and clueless.” Daken chuckled and then texted back. He wasn’t really into the idea of going to that wedding but he liked the thought of being with Bobby and enjoying an event together. Besides, Bobby looked good in formal wear and Daken could appreciate aesthetics.

“I know you aren’t,” Gabby held up her fingers and made air quotes while rolling her eyes, “a _‘good person’_ by some standards. I think that’s total crap stuff. You love with your whole heart, and you’re loyal. You’re generous and you’re funny. People who don’t want to date you are related to you or stupid.”

“That’s a lot of stupid people then, Gabby. I think Bobby is maybe the third person to be romantically interested in me at all. Now sexually is another story altogether but usually that’s where things start and end.”

“Who said most people were smart? I don’t know why you think you’re such a bad pick.” Gabby reached out and put her hand on Dakens, “I love you.”

This was not a topic he was going to discuss with his baby sister. Daken wasn’t sure he even wanted to tell his therapist about it and she was at least removed from the situation. Instead of going on about it, he kissed Gabby’s cheek and smiled at her, “Love you too, princess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi there, Nausi here!**  
>  Well friends, we made it. The first post kiss, post get together chapter! That’s right, we got these fools together and there is still a story to tell! Those of you who comment have given us such wonderful feedback, praise, support, and inspiration. Please do keep that coming. We always want to know what your predictions are, what your curious about, and any requests you might have. Yes, ask us things. Ask us **for** things. We just might be able to give them to you!
> 
> There’s some new fanart! Noni has drawn another amazing piece. Please give them a follow! Their art is fun, vibrant, and whimsical in the best ways. Check out what they make of the way Finn and I describe Daken’s Tattoo post OoX events.
> 
> [Noni's Art!](https://nonisartblog.tumblr.com/post/176057237614/i-have-no-clue-how-to-draw-daken-or-his-tattoo-but)
> 
> We’ve also started a Tumblr dedicated to the series. It’s run by both of us writing as Quentin Quire. There’s already a post out from Quire with more content to come. You can ask Quire things as if you were a fan from the TDYK universe. If you’ve got questions for other characters you can ask him and see what he’s able to get out of them. We look forward to seeing you guys over there!
> 
> [Quentin Quire Ask Blog!](https://dysfunctionalphoenix.tumblr.com/)
> 
> Thank you all again, lovely readers. I am waiting for your wedding predictions, your wish lists, and your feedback!


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With only five days left till the wedding, the less organized guests find themselves in a bit of a time struggle to be ready for Saturday. That's the least of Bobby's worries though. Dating Daken apparently equals fancy custom made suits and flirting in a shop he knows he couldn't afford going to in his dreams. There is also the fact that they make front page news but none of that matter because the real problem presents itself in form of an ex turned friend being in a bit of trouble. Or really, it’s just a regular Monday & Tuesday in the life of an X-Men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:**  
>  **Part 1:** Fish Out Of Water, Formal Wear, Dating, PDA, Flirting  
>  **Part 2:** Implied/Referenced Domestic Abuse, Sexual Themes, Friendship 
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Monday**

It was a strange thing, heading out to go shopping for suits together. Bobby had gone with Quen to fill out his wardrobe. He had met Judah buying shoes. Shopping for music was how he met Opal. Shopping seemed to be part of how he did relationships, friendships, bonding, romance, all of it. It was also a bit odd to go out with Daken and be in a car. He’d ended up riding bitch so many times now that he just expected it. The sort of upscale, you have to have an appointment to show up here, boutique, suit store they were headed to, that didn’t surprise Bobby at all. In fact he’d worn a pair of dress shoes, slacks, and a deep purple v-neck t shirt in hopes of looking more fashion forward and chic while not making a fool of himself. Daken hadn’t told him to change, so Bobby had reason to hope that he wasn’t about to embarrass him.

Not taking the bike when he went out with Bobby was strange but this was the sort of place you showed up at in a nice, fancy car. Getting an appointment on such short notice had not been easy but Daken had his way of charming people into doing things for him they wouldn’t do for others. It was quite the useful skill to have in moments like these.

Parking the car he came around and held Bobby’s door open for him with a smirk, “You’ve been awfully quiet, Snowflake. Are you nervous?”

“A bit. I normally just go to Mr. Formal.” Bobby got out and purposely brushed against Daken. This new freedom to touch and be close was addictive. 

“Well, you upgraded your lifestyle when you decided to put up with me.” Chuckling he guided Bobby into the shop where they were greeted by the friendly attendant, as she chatted away and prepared for fitting Daken leaned in and whispered, “Just act normal. You’re a paying customer, they will treat you like a king regardless.”

“I don’t know what anything is called. I normally just wear a classic tux like the one from the night we met.” _Is it that clear that I’m nervous? Can you smell it?_

“That’s why I’m here, Snowflake. Just relax and let the nice lady take your measurements.”

“Do I get to snuggle you when we get done?” Bobby’s hand touched Daken’s for a moment as he started to move away to follow the ‘nice lady’.

“Maybe.” Daken chuckled and crossed his arms, watching as she guided Bobby to stand straight. The young woman kept up some meaningless, idle chatter as she went about her job and Daken could tell that Bobby relaxed a little knowing that this wasn’t anywhere near as serious and stuffy of an occasion as he thought. Getting fitted for a suit wasn’t the most enjoyable activity but Daken had never minded it much. It was even a bit of fun to have someone along for it.

There was something about the way Daken watched him that Bobby found soothing. He’d been fitted before, but it always felt very awkward. Between the professional and kind air of the lady helping them and the cool, almost amused tone of Daken’s gaze Bobby found himself practically enjoying the experience. That was until the question of style came up. “Uh … Daken?”

“Slim fit. Definitely the full look, three piece. No one should ever wear a suit without a vest period.” He made a thoughtful sound and then said, “Double breasted vest … maybe. You have some sample vests yeah? I’d like to have Bobby try some different styles. See what he feels most comfortable in.”

Julia smiled and nodded. “One moment please.”

With a nervous shift Bobby adjusted his sleeves and looked at Daken, “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

“Yes.” Admitting it was easy. “When you’ve been on a short leash all your life, the little things matter a lot. _He_ never dictated what I could and couldn’t wear. Clothes were the only form of self expression I had. So there is nothing more fun than a shopping trip.”

Bobby nodded and smoothed his hands over his stomach, “Does having someone along to dress up make it more fun?”

“If my company is such an attractive young man … yes.” Giving Bobby a _look_ , he smiled as their attendant returned, pleasantly surprised that she had brought a plain white button up to test the vests with. “Thank you dear.”

The smile that spread over Julia’s, that was what her name was, face was mirrored on Bobby’s till he realized that he was going to be changing shirts. A blush touched his cheeks as he started to pull off his shirt. 

“Here.” She stepped up beside Bobby on the round dias and held out the shirt for him, one sleeve at a time. Then her small deft fingers had all the buttons fastened in the blink of an eye, “Tuck it in please.”

Bobby hurried to obey her and then held out his arms so that she could easily slip the first vest on. “Yes Ma’am.”

“He is sweet, your new partner. It’s been a while since someone called me Madam.” Julia chuckled as she finished buttoning the vest and then went around to handle the bow. This piece was a typical one button row, black piece that accented the shoulders more than anything else.

“He’s the sweetest. I’m planning on keeping him.”

That made Bobby turn bright red and stammer.

Julia smiled as she stepped back, “It appears he likes that idea. Also I think you are right, this vest does look fetching but a double breasted vest might highlight the narrowness of his waist more.”

With a smile he stepped forward and turned Bobby towards him, giving him a good once over before putting a hand on his cheek. Somehow Daken managed to seem taller and take up center stage in that moment despite being shorter with the dias giving Bobby height. “Mh yes, double breasted would look stunning on him.”

_I am going to die. I am going to die of flustered embarrassed pleasure,_ The thought swept through his head as Julia came forward, took Daken’s place, and quickly skinned the first vest from him only to replace it with a second. This one had two rows of buttons which started out a few inches apart and subtly tapered closer and closer the nearer to the bottom of the vest they drew. Bobby imagined that he looked quite good as the looks in both Daken and Julia’s eyes were appreciative. 

“Mmh, yes. That is much better.” Daken smiled and nodded, “The fabric is not my style though, velvet, no. You have samples, yes? I’d like to see some fitting for a hot summer wedding that is for some reason happening outside instead of in a nicely climate controlled room. So linen perhaps, cotton of course and any blends you might have.”

“Of course. I will bring out a few swatches.” She nodded and came back with a tray piled high with fabric swatches.

“Double breasted? That’s what this is hu?” The look on Daken's face said he was right but Bobby still felt more than a little awkward.

“You have nice hips and that style accents them.” Daken shrugged and motioned for Bobby, “Come here, you’re the one who has to wear that suit all day so you need to like the fabric. Something light and breathable is fit for the weather but that doesn’t make a difference to you. You can control your body temperature after all ….” He pause and then smirked, picking up a dark piece of fabric and putting it in Bobby’s hands, “Cashmere blended with silk.”

The word _cashmere_ brought a rosey wash of color to Bobby’s cheeks. He reached for the fabric and nodded as he rubbed it between his thumb and forefinger. “I like this. It’s soft and you’re right, I don’t have to worry much about it sweating me out.”

“You have elegant taste mister Drake.” The attendant smiled and nodded. “Are you thinking to go with classic colors? There was no mention of the wedding being a black tie affair.”

“The classics always work … though I think I’d prefer a white suit and a black shirt for myself. Keep it interesting. Oh and I’m more of a cotton person in summer, so we’ll go with that for fabric.”

“We have your measurements on file sir.” She nodded, “We were able to put together three likely options based on your previous orders, two of which are white cotton suits.”

“Suppose you come here often, hu?” Bobby couldn’t help smirking a little.

“A good suit is worth every dollar and this place is good.” He gave Bobby a smile and then nodded at Julia. “Good and you’ll have his done by Friday, yes?”

“At the very latest. You should expect a call from us Thursday afternoon.” Julia rolled her measuring tape up with a smile.

“Excellent. Now let’s try on the suits you prepared for me.”

It all happened in a whirl. Julia saw Daken to a changing room as he was going to strip down to his underwear to try on a few pairs of slacks and then helped Bobby back out of the vest and borrowed shirt. It seemed like no time till he was seated and Daken was up on the dais. It was like watching an expert mechanic work on a car, or Forge work on any little bit of tech, or Hank fiddling with an equation. Daken expertly took blazers on and off, tested the fit of the cuffs, squatted down to experience the give and fit of the slacks. It was clear that Daken wanted to be able to do anything and everything in any suit he wore. Bobby was dazzled. It was another thing he’d never considered, the experience of watching a beautiful, cultured, experienced man confidently try on a series of suits and variations. Bobby was unsure what qualities Daken was looking for till the last permutation, slim fit, white blazer, slacks and vest over a fine black shirt with silver tie came together. As Daken slid the blazer off for the first time Bobby sighed. The way Daken looked over at him and smiled spoke volumes.

“This one will do nicely, thank you Julia.” The conspiratorial look shared between Daken and their attendant made Bobby blush.

“Yeah, it’ll do super nicely.” Bobby shook his head, and didn’t even turn to look as Julia giggled at him. His eyes were on Daken.

With a warm but playful smile he approached Bobby, pulling him close. “You like it, Snowflake?”

“Yes.” There were eyes on them, but Bobby didn’t care. He leaned in and nodded, “I do. You look incredible.”

Kissing the top of Bobby’s head he pulled back with a smile, “Good. That’s the point.” Stepping away he went back into the changing room. Leaving the two of them to themselves.

“He’s never _brought_ someone here before.” Julia smiled as she made her notes.

Bobby looked over at her and sighed. It was not exasperation, but intense pleasure that he didn’t have any way to express. Life hadn’t really prepared him for this sort of thing. “It’s been an experience and a delight.” He licked his lips, “And I know … I understand is what I mean to say … I … he and I … thank you.”

Julia just smiled and went back to her notes, clearly amused and entertained. 

Daken came back with his jeans and casual button up back on. There was a charming smile on his lips as he stepped next to Julia, reached for her hand and kissed the back of it. “Always a pleasure.”

Julia waved them off with a warm smile, clearly not at all put off by the fact that one of them had never been to this class of establishment. Bobby followed Daken out of the store and looked around at the bright afternoon, “Well that didn’t take long.”

“We’ll be back for a fitting on Wednesday I would guess but yes, it shouldn’t take very long when you’re going in knowing what you want.” Daken reached out, taking Bobby’s hand with a smile, “Want to grab lunch somewhere before we go back?”

“Yes.” Bobby smiled and felt his heart swell as their fingers laced together. “You wanna find something simple? Or maybe I did okay dressing myself this morning and you won’t be embarrassed to go somewhere nice with me?”

“Semi casual would be my preference. You look good but formal is for dinner.” 

“I promised you, short of an emergency, I was all yours today.” Bobby smiled, “Take me to semi casual lunch. As long as there’s only one fork per person on the table I should do alright.”

That drew a chuckle from Dakeb as he walked them towards the center of the city where all the good places were. “One fork per person, I can manage that.” _Let’s hope there aren’t any paparazzi around who specialize in superheroes. I don’t want my face on the front page tomorrow._

* * *

**Tuesday**

His face _was_ on the front page the next morning. Daken layed on top of the bed with his hair still wet and only wearing a pair of comfortable pants as he stared down on the picture on his phone. It showed them sharing that milkshake and then there were a few smaller ones of handholding and him kissing Bobby’s cheek. Social media was going _nuts_. Some people were absolutely delighted. Others thought he was trying to ruin their token white, conventionally attractive quota-gay. And another group was pissed because Bobby wasn’t dating the ‘right badboy’. Apparently Simon and Bobby were considered the most popular couple currently and people “shipped” it. Daken had looked up the term and felt like he needed to bleach his brain now.

“Hey Snowflake,” He looked up as Bobby came out of the shower, “You aware yet that you’re dating the wrong badboy?”

“... What?” The frown on Bobby’s face was deep and full of confusion. It stood in sharp contrast to the dreamy expression he’d been wearing just a moment before. 

“The world thinks that you need to bang, or rather be banged, by our resident fire starter.” Daken shrugged, “They have a name for you being together even … get this, they freaking reference George RR Martin and call you Ice&Fire.” He rolled his eyes, “At least they could have tried to be creative, go for something like … dry ice.”

“...” Bobby made a face that consisted of all his features trying to migrate to center mass inside his skull. “No. No way. I’m not … Simon is a friend and I basically sponsored him onto the team with Rogue. I’m not gonna date him. I mean even removing you from the equation, he’s just not my type.” Bobby sighed and shook his head.

“Blonde, blue eyes, quite pretty in a rather masculine way … that’s not your type? What is your type?”

“Sure he’s pretty but I don’t know … I’ve never really been that into blonds.” Bobby shrugged and started going about getting dressed, “Brown and black hair are just … I just like it better. And Simon’s … he’s really … he just tries so hard, all the time. He’s cocky but he’s … I don’t even know how to describe it. I just get tired being around him.”

"He's insecure. Young. Possibly inexperienced. He puts on this show of being in control and totally owning the situation but it's not real. He doesn't know how to handle most things because he simply hasn't experienced them yet and not enough general experience to just roll with it. You get exhausted because he the type of submissive partner that pretend to be dominant and only causes trouble doing it." Daken supplied the explanation without seeming to strain at all. 

Bobby turned around and blinked at Daken, “Yeah … yeah that about covers it.” With a sigh he pulled up his pants and shook his head, “I’m sorry about the pictures, I know that you want to maintain a certain public image. We can be more careful in the future. You don’t need to take me out here in the states where there’s always a gossip mill and the laws favor the aggressive paparazzi.”

“Bobby, come here.” He pulled the younger man into bed and wrapped his arms around him before showing him the pictures. “Look at this. I knew we were being stalked, I knew someone was taking photos. Does it look like I'm concerned?"

“No.” It was embarrassing, and flattering. Bobby couldn’t believe that the story had made the front page, or that someone had dared to get this close. They were rather good pictures over all. Daken looked gorgeous and somehow Bobby didn’t think he looked too bad by comparison. “No you look like you’re having a good time.”

“I did.” Daken smiled and kissed along Bobby’s shoulder before saying, “Your phone rang while you were showering. I didn’t answer it but I think whoever it was sent you a text when you didn’t pick up.”

“I could ignore my phone and just make out with you. It’s a ‘T’ day I don’t have morning classes.” As he spoke Bobby ran his hands up and down Daken’s back, thrilling in the freedom of their new relationship. 

“ _Gomen-ne_ , I promised Gabby and Laura to take them shopping for the Wedding as well. You know, a sibling bonding day of sorts.”

“I’m all shopped out or I’d ask to come along.” Bobby sighed and shrugged. “Suppose I should look at my phone.” As he picked it up he looked back at Daken, “You know, Gabby invited me to dinner with you guys? I wasn’t sure she was going to be down with this, us.”

“Anything that makes the people she loves happy, makes her happy. And you make me feel pretty damn good, Snowflake.”

_I love you._ “Kitten.” Bobby leaned in for a deep kiss and felt his heart do strange things in his chest.

“Bobby, your phone. I know I'm hot and all but focus please.”

Having his smitten and longing gazing called out made Bobby turn bright red and hurry to check his phone. “Okay one missed call from … oh shit.”

“Your parents? Ex girlfriend? Secret affair?”

Bobby swatted at Daken's chest and shook his head, “Only an idiot would cheat on you … though I haven't always been the brightest … anyway, no, but you were close.” Their eyes met and Bobby winced, “Ex boyfriend.”

“Judah? What does he want?”

“We've only talked in text and video chat for months. He's in town and wants to get lunch it sounds like.” Bobby opened his texts with Quentin and tapped out a quick plea to take over his afternoon classes.

“I … ugh.” Daken flopped back into the pillows and huffed loudly. “I am jealous and overprotective and I admit it but I will not act on it.”

“Jealous? Of the guy who dumped me?” Bobby crawled over so that he was draped across Daken's chest. “Like I've forgiven him but he killed whatever we had with what he said to me. Judah and I are friends and that's all.”

“He could do things for you that I'm not … comfortable with. It's gonna bug me for a long time. This is ingrained, Bobby. It's literally a part of me that everyone wants sex all the time.”

“Kitten, I didn’t even screw him when I had the chance.” Bobby put his phone down, wiggled on top of his boyfriend and nuzzled in against his cheek for a moment before he leaned back to continue, “Judah and I had a good time, but he … he isn’t really my type either. I was mostly excited that a guy liked me. He makes a good friend, a far better friend than boyfriend really. I understand that you’re going to feel a certain way, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to do what I can to reassure you.”

“I trust you. My brain might be fixated on the idea that you must want sex but I know you wouldn't … you'd break up with me first. You respect me as a person and as a partner.”

“I cannot even begin to express to you how much it means to me that you know that, that you believe it.” There was no stopping himself. Bobby set into layering kiss after kiss over Daken’s face. “You are so good for me.” _Kiss kiss._ “You make me happy.” _Kiss kiss._ “You’re a wonderful boyfriend,” _kiss,_ “... the best.” More kisses followed, over Daken’s brows, the bridge of his nose, the rise of his cheeks, and down his jaw. “I’m keeping you.”

“I require three balanced meals a day, a shower in the morning and somewhere I can sleep. Otherwise I am low maintenance. Just pet me occasionally and I'll be happy.”

Bobby shook his head and laughed while ‘petting’ Daken’s head. “You’re adorable Kitten. If you hadn’t told me you were going out with your girls I wouldn’t let you out of bed.” With a bright smile he leaned in and kissed Daken’s cheek. “I’ll miss you.”

Purring softly he arched into the touch and then sighed, “I don't wanna go shopping but such is life. Now come on, get dressed and go meet your ex.”

“We’ll do dinner? And a movie tonight?” Even as he got up Bobby looked back at Daken with a pitiful plea in his eyes. 

“Yes … and I'd like to share your bed again if you don't mind. Sleeping in your arms is the best damn way to get more than two hours that I've ever come across.”

_It’s Tuesday. This’ll make five nights._ “Bring that red blanket with you.” Bobby turned around to find a shirt, “You’re always welcomed at _Casa del Drake_.” 

**~~~~~~~**

Getting into Russ & Daughters was a bit of a weird thing. It was at the Jewish Museum which was one of at least a dozen Museum’s around Central Park. When you entered the restaurant you came in through the main museum entrance and then continued down into the basement level. It was a bit surreal, in keeping with the whole museum theme everything felt a bit like a page out of a time gone by. It was the sort of place that had good traditional bagels, lox, and all sorts of other 'Jewish’ foods. This was the part of his heritage that Bobby knew about as far as being Jewish went. His mom had learned to cook from her mother, as a ‘good’ Jewish girl should, and she’d brought that skill into her marriage with a man who loved to eat. Bobby knew that the food was a big part of why they were still together. His mom could do all the stuff his Dad wanted as far as holiday meals, but she also made incredible traditional jewish dishes and his father loved them. Jewish food was always the place he felt most at home with other Jews, and this place, as dated and obviously geared towards maintaining historical importance as it might be, made him feel at home. 

When Bobby stepped in Judah was already waiting at a table with bagels and coffee for both of them. There was no table service at a place like this, so he appreciated that Judah had saved him a wait in line. “Hey bro!” There was a wide smile on his face as Bobby came over, and a bigger one when he saw Judah had remembered his favorite. “Oh heck yeah, that looks so good!”

“Hey there, curls.” There was an amused expression on Judah's features, behind a large dark pair of shades, as he gave Bobby a curious once over. “I didn’t know your hair did that when you grew it out. It’s kinda cute.”

“I spent a lot of time straightening it.” Bobby looked at Judah again and had to wonder why the sunglasses were still on inside. Instead of saying something he motioned. “Come on man, stand up, give me a hug, missed you.”

With a smile and a suppressed wince he stood up and hugged Bobby, kissing his cheek in a friendly manner. “Missed you too, Popsicle. Last month my AC went out and I wished I had my ex to cool me down and save me from the suffering.”

“You never said anything about that.” Bobby returned the kiss of greeting and then sat down. Something was wrong, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. _At least there aren’t really any windows here, no peeping cameras._ Bobby sat down and picked up his bagel. “You’ve been a little sporadic.”

“Yeah … I kinda … well, I met this guy and he’s been keeping me busy.” Rubbing the back of his neck he smiled awkwardly, “Sorry, so much on my mind lately.”

“I’ve been pretty busy too, life sort of just happens.” After another bite Bobby said casually, “Are you trying to keep track of the visions in your eyes or is it just bright in here?”

“It’s not night, Bobby.” He chuckled and waved a hand, “Too much work, been sleeping like crap and hanging too much in front of my laptop. My eyes are giving me issues from all the abuse I put them through.”

“Hey dude, it’s always midnight somewhere!” Though his words were light hearted Bobby was worried now. The stupid meme-y song reference hadn’t gone over Judah’s head, it’d even gotten a laugh, but the shades were still on. _Why?_ “You getting into street fights? That’s a pretty nasty cut on your lip there my man.”

“The first rule of Fight Club is; You do not talk about Fight Club.”

“You know, Chuck Palahniuk is super gay right? That book or movie or whatever, it’s totally ours.” Bobby shrugged, “Not sure I want it though, sort of lived it, kicking my own Tyler Durden out of my head makes that movie a lot less enjoyable.” Without missing a beat Bobby continued, “You’re being evasive dude.”

“Maybe.” He smiled and pulled his phone out, “And you are being secretive.” Turning the phone so Bobby could see the screen he smirked, “What’s with the cutesy pictures of you and Asian Wolverine?”

Bobby rolled his eyes and sighed. “You haven’t even taken your sunglasses off yet, you’ve plied me with my favorite bagel, made a few pop culture references with me, and now you’re thinking you’re gonna get the jump on me.” _I hate this, I hate this, I hate this._ “Look I tried to explain to you once how the Death Seed works, you didn’t listen to me so I figured it was best to just not talk to you about Daken. He and I bonded over our mutual hate for pedophiles, our love of punching people in the face, and few other things. We’ve been seeing each other since Friday. The pictures are us out after getting fitted for suits, it’s Kitty’s wedding this weekend.”

“Mutual hate for - what the hell have you been up to? Do I even want to know?” Judah sat back and blinked a few times.

“Uh … breaking and entering for one thing. Guy’s behind bars now thanks to some help from a friend. It was sort of a turning point, that’s why I mention it.” Bobby shrugged, “Judah, I understand you not liking him. I totally get you being afraid and angry. The thing is, the monster that hurt you, that was the Death Seed. If you hold Daken responsible for what he did to you -”

“I don’t.” Judah interrupted before this went on for the next ten minutes as Bobby tried to defend someone over something that didn’t matter anymore. “Do I look upset to you? Would I invite you for lunch, buy your ridiculous everything-everything lox bagel and joke around if I was angry?”

“You’ve gotta remember who I hang out with man. Some of the X-crew are soap-opera dramatic.” Bobby frowned and leaned forward a little, “So what? What happened to change your mind?”

“I’ve been keeping up with the news. You think I didn’t notice that he’s been on your team and showing up here and there? You literally can’t be on any social media site without someone bringing up Daken. He’s possibly the most controversial X-Man out there right now and the debates are quite funny but I’m not sure why they are still arguing.” Judah shrugged and took a bite from his bagel before adding, “It’s pretty clear he’s playing on the hero side now.”

Bobby just sat there staring. When he did speak it wasn’t what either of them would have expected him to say, “Daken was right. He has totally blown his image. Suppose the pictures of him with Gabby didn’t help hu?”

“That little video of him singing to her definitely didn’t help the badass villain image.” Judah picked his phone back up and pulled the file, “Have you seen that one yet?”

“What? No!” Bobby leaned over the table and reached for Judah’s hand. The fact that they were in public had completely flown out. All Bobby cared about was the idea of Daken _singing_.

“I think she recorded it secretly but yeah, here.” He passed his phone to Bobby with a grin, “It’s cute even if I haven’t got a clue what he’s singing.”

“Oh god it’s in Japanese?” Bobby looked down at the phone screen and prepared to have his heart melt inside his chest. 

“Think it’s a children’s song but hell, I don’t speak Japanese.”

“Gabby’s been singing it … I think it’s basically the tortoise and the hare.” Bobby watched as Daken smiled and swayed as he sang the song to a giggling Gabby. She wasn’t in frame, but her amusement was a lovely counterpoint to Daken’s grin and voice. “... if I had a womb I’d be pregnant now.”

“I know right? He’s nothing like that guy who stabbed me. He doesn’t even look like him. Tattoo is different and he’s smiling, like not in that creepy way but genuinely smiling.”

Bobby looked up at Judah and then handed the phone back. The shades were only sort of working in Judah’s favor. Bobby was practiced at reading a lot in a person’s lips, “Daken loves his little sister. She’s been learning Japanese and he spends a lot of time with her teaching her about the culture and the finer points. He’s out with her and Laura right now, helping them find dresses for the wedding.”

“I don’t know him but I feel like if you fell for him than he’s got to be good at his core. So no complaints, no _Bobby don’t_. Not from me anyway. I just really wanted to see you today.”

“Something’s wrong.” Bobby frowned and then reached across the table and took Judah’s hand. “Tell me.”

“I -” He looked away and shrugged, “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Uh, yeah, there is.” Bobby pointed at the shades. “There’s only one person I’ve ever known who just doesn't take his shades off. He’s back from the dead by the way, and he has freaking force beams that shoot out of his eyes. Pretty good reason to keep the shades on. You on the other hand are over here acting sort of painful, with a split lip, and you won’t take your shades off. Come on man, I’m not stupid.”

They were in public but this place wasn’t very busy today. Judah sighed, pulled the shades off and set them down.

“Holy ice balls Judah.” The words were full of shock. Bobby had seen shiners before, all stages, varying degrees of severity, and all that. This one was bad. “This the guy you’re seeing? Who is he?”

“A mistake.” Judah smiled bitterly and then shrugged, “I kicked him out this morning. He’ll be back though, I know he will. So I’m skipping town. I wanted to see you before I move.”

“Do you need money? A bodyguard? How about you give me his name?”

“So you go beat him up? Bobby, he’s just a regular human. Assholes exist, this isn’t even the first time I picked the wrong guy. You know that life isn’t all sunshine and puppies.”

“Dude, assholes don’t learn to not hit people by getting skipped out on. I’ve got people I can call, people who can check in on this guy, and keep him from hurting someone else.” He reached across the table and took Judah’s hand again, “And yeah I know, I freaking know. The thing is you’re family now. Mutants take care of each other.”

“Let’s go for a walk. I don’t think we should keep talking about this here. My place isn’t that far.”

Bobby nodded and followed Judah back up out of the basement and onto the street. They caught a cab to Judah’s but much as Russ & Daughters had been too public the cab was also not private enough, not for what they were going to discus. It wasn’t till they were inside Judah’s apartment that anything else of consequence was said. 

“So, he gets mean and physical? I take that this has happened more than once?” Bobby crossed his legs and tried to get comfortable on Judah’s sofa, but it was difficult. The apartment felt tight to him, and unpleasant. Part of him wondered if Daken would be able to smell the abusive jerkbag when they met up later, if he was sitting where the asshole had sat. 

“It was small things at first.” Judah sat down on the couch as well and just looked down at the carpet. “He didn’t like my friends, didn’t want me to go out alone … stuff like that. I thought he was just possessive, it was almost nice being wanted like that. But then he got mean, insults first, a shove here and there and then he slapped me the first time. I was mad but he apologized and – you know that thing abusers do? Say sorry, wait a bit, repeat.”

“Yeah.” Bobby nodded. It was something he was all too aware of. He put an arm around Judah. “If you don’t want to skip town I can take care of this. Like you said, he’s a regular guy. There isn’t going to be anything he can do against me. If you don’t want me to do it I bet I can ask Hisako to come over and kick his ass. See how he likes having an adorable young Japanese girl teach him a lesson.”

“You can’t beat someone up and expect them to learn something from it.” Sighing heavily he leaned into Bobby’s touch and gave him a look, “Someone who doesn’t stop when asked is beyond help anyway, you know … I don’t want to leave New York but I can’t stand this stupid apartment anymore either.”

“I’ll get you a hotel, and you can look for something else. The beating would be more about scaring him into never talking to you again.” Bobby sighed, “I’d say call the police but even in New York they aren’t going to do much about man on man domestic violence.”

“Yeah … I called them once, they just said not to bother them over nothing again.” Judah chuckled and then closed his eyes, “Man sometimes I wonder if being born female doesn’t have a hell of lot of advantages after all.”

“It’s different crap. A lot of time the police don’t help them with abusive men either.” Bobby shrugged and sighed. “I try not to think about who has it worse. We’re all in this crapshoot together.”

“True but man, Bobby … they have boobs. I’m gay and I still think boobs are nice. They look so soft, bet they make great pillows.”

Bobby chuckled and nodded, “They do, and they feel nice. I’m always going to prefer a hard pair of pecs but that doesn’t mean I can’t be honest about how nice boobs are.”

“Hey … did you know …” He looked at Bobby seriously, “That you’re really, really gay?!”

“Almost too gay to function really.” Bobby nodded, equally as serious, “The gay police have to pull me over all the time.”

“You’re adorable.” Judah chuckled and then asked, casually, “You got to have fun with your cute asian boyfriend's _hard pair of pecs_ yet?”

“With his pecs? Yeah, surprisingly good pillows and the tattoo is really fun to trace and kiss.” Though Bobby sounded more or less shameless he was still blushing. 

“What about the rest of him hu? Can’t lie, he is hot and apparently doesn’t think shirts are necessary or that pants should be anything aside from skin tight.”

Bobby shrugged and tried to act natural. “You know, we’ve only been dating since Friday. It’s … soon for more. Sex isn’t really the point anyway.”

“We did things in under twenty four hours. Was wondering if that was just the utter excitement of being with a guy or if you’re always that quick. Now I know!”

The shade of red Bobby was maintaining spoke of a high volume of blood in his face. “Look … I … it’s not that I move slow it’s just that … it’s different with Kitten, I mean Daken and things are just … things are just different.”

“His reputation made me wonder … it’s all fake isn’t it? The bad guy stick was. So him being a playboy …”

“He’s a playboy when it gets him something, when it’s advantageous.” Bobby nodded. _That’s safe to say right? Shit._

“And he doesn’t want anything from you. So he’s being himself with you.” Nodding Judah smiled, “That’s nice. I want to find someone like that.”

“Yeah.” Bobby relaxed a bit, pleased to avoid talking about Daken’s business. “You just relax, we’ll pack up some of your stuff. I’ll ask Hisako for a favor, we’ll get you a hotel, and we’ll figure this out. I promise.” _And hopefully Daken won’t be too upset that I smell like you._


	42. Chapter 42

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Part 1:** Scott has had enough of the avoidance. They need to talk and they need to do it now. Not tomorrow, not next week - now. He underestimated how much being close to Logan would affect him though.
> 
> **Part 2:** It was supposed to just be them trying on their suits. Quentin finds that he doesn’t mind things going a little, or a lot, different than expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Tags:**
> 
> **Part 1:** Guilt, Apologies, Unhealthy Relationships, Bad Coping Mechanisms, Messy Get Together, Sexual Undertones, Sexual Tension, It’s Complicated
> 
> **Part 2:** Implied/Referenced Past Transphobia, Sexual Tension, Sexual Themes, Gender Identity, Pansexuality, Pessimism, Telepathy, Confessions, Phoenix Mention, Get Together

**Wednesday**

It was Wednesday and the wedding preparations were beginning to feel a little annoying. Scott had to wonder if others had been bothered when Jean and him got married here at the school and there’d been preparations for days ahead of it. Probably. Possibly. Likely. It made the whole thing seem even more ridiculous and it wasn’t even that Scott hadn’t loved Jean – he had and he still did in a way but love _wasn’t_ enough. No matter what people said, it wasn’t enough to carry a marriage to just love someone. You had to be _in love_ with them and if there wasn’t a solid base of trust, a shared vision for the future and a general understanding that marriage didn’t equal not being two separate people anymore. If either partner expected things to drastically change just because there was a piece of paper now then it couldn’t work. People needed freedom, they needed their own hobbies, friends and free time.

One of the biggest problems with both of his attempts at marriage had been how each woman had expected him to change. Madeline had wanted him to stop being an X-Men which was literally the only thing he knew how to be. Jean wanted him to be more open with her and when he had changed in a direction she didn’t like after the Apocalypse disaster … well, at the end of that crisis Scott had slept with Emma Frost and Jean died. So much on the topic of _meant to be_ and _perfect match_.

No, Scott had not lost his belief in love and marriage but he was more skeptical now and he doubted that going for anyone who was a childhood or teenage crush was the answer. Crushes were called that for a reason – a crush wasn’t love and it was definitely not _being in love_. Everyone around him was getting excited and prepared for Saturday while he hadn’t even so much as bothered to get a suit. There was a big chance that Scott would just skip attending the wedding. It was just too much of a disaster in the making and Kitty hadn’t been very welcoming since he came back anyway.

What all the fuss was making him do though was contemplate what he was going to do with himself and whether or not he intended to stay at the school at all. The answer to that was far more complex than a simple yes or no though. And there was one factor he still had to face – Logan. Scott needed to know if the two of them could co-exist and therefore, after a good three weeks of avoidance, he was now knocking on the man's door. There were three brown bags with the yellow M on them in his hands and he had a six pack with him as well. Hopefully food and beer would ease this conversation a little.

“Come in Slim.” Logan didn’t sound pleased, but he didn’t sound angry. It was as good as Scott was likely to get standing in the hall with food. 

Scott entered the room, taking a moment to just look at Logan before he went to set the food down on the coffee table, “We need to talk and I figured food would make that suck a little less. Also beer.”

“Yeah.” Logan put his cigar out and opened the window. The breeze was warm but he didn’t want to keep the smoke in. “Figured you didn’t want to talk. Surprised to see you here now.”

“Talking isn't my specialty, you know. I tend to make things worse if I try to talk in a personal, private sort of setting. So I've been avoiding you.” Scott opened two cans of beer and passed one to Logan as he approached, their hands brushing briefly and their eyes meeting as much as it was possible with the shades in the way. “Sit, eat and drink first. I don’t want to ruin either of our appetites.”

“However you want it Slim.” Logan downed half the beer before taking his seat. Food passed his lips, and two beers were drained before he looked over at Scott. It was still unreal to look over and see him. Logan had died before him, come back expecting him to be alive, and been gutted by the news of how Scott had gone out. It had seemed like a bad joke at the time. Over six months later Logan had grown used to this, to Scott being gone, and now it seemed like a bad joke to have him here, in his room, eating. “Missed this.”

“Shitty fast food, beer and silent company?” Scott arched a brow and then shook his head, “Sometimes I just don’t get you.”

“If I wanted someone to ruin shitty food with a bunch o’ talkin’ I could have a meal with Kitty. Girl doesn’t close her mouth here lately. Nice to just be with someone.” Logan shrugged, _Even if it isn’t going to last._

“Yeah, that’s one of many things we’ve got to talk about. I should have made a list, treat it like a mission plan but I decided I was too lazy to bother which says a lot about my current state of mind I suppose.” Opening his second beer he leaned back and went quiet, contemplating where to start.

“Summers -” Logan tried to start but it was impossible to say what he really wanted to say. Instead he licked his lips and let out a long sigh. After a moment he found something that would allow itself to be heard, “I know I screwed up. Sort’a been a theme for me after my lastest dirt nap, seein’ all the ways I’ve been wrong.”

“We’re back to _Summers_? Hey, I’ll take it. It’s an improvement from _Cyclops_.” His tone was neutral and there were little indications of his actual mood in body language. Anyone other than Logan wouldn’t have been able to tell much of anything but scent wasn’t something anyone, other than pheromone users, could control. “Look, just – just _listen_ for once okay?”

It was those little signs that made long hold back. Scott was worried and nervous, which was not all that far from what Logan would expect. It was the sharp spice of excitement that made him hold his tongue and just nod instead. _I don’t think I got a clue what’s going on here._

“I’m entirely too sober for this.” Scott said it more to himself than Logan and then took a deep breath before continuing, “I was wrong. What I did with Okonkwo, asking her to make the call when I knew exactly that she was going to accept killing under the pretense that she’s a monster either way … it was wrong. I know it was wrong. I knew it was wrong while I was doing it but Logan, I lost forty five students because I stuck to not wanting them to fight. One fourth of my student body in one single attack and I didn’t do anything to prevent that. You _can’t_ imagine what that felt like, no one can. Frost couldn’t and she was a goddamn telepath with access to my mind. I promised them, at their goddamn funeral, that I wouldn’t let that happen again no matter what the cost would be and one single girl's psychological well being against every person in that building? The choice was never easy but it was clear.” He paused, just to breath and let the words stand for a moment, going on when it seemed right, “I trained them, I trained Hope especially, in ways I know have left psychological scars but what else was I going to do? Watch them die too? Run with them? Run where, Logan? Where? Because we already left the United States. We built our own fucking island and they still kept coming after us. They still sent a sentinel the size of a skyscraper. You wanted them protected and sheltered – I just wanted them _alive_.”

“I was wrong to leave.” Logan looked at Scott and felt his throat close over. It wasn’t easy to say, but it was something he’d admitted to himself already. “Nothin’bout how the fall o’ Utopia went down was fair or right. I was mad and afraid. I saw you makin’ those choices …” Logan shook his head, “I shouldn’t’ve left. I shouldn’t’ve split our people.”

“You were right to question me. To voice that you weren’t okay with what I was doing but … yeah. You shouldn’t have left. You shouldn’t have fought _me_ while there was a sentinel walking towards our island. Honestly, I don’t know why everyone wanted me to make a call, including you, if you had already made yours and would _try to kill me_ over it.”

There was silence. Logan broke it by leaning forward for another beer. There weren’t many left. He opened it and drained it past the halfway point before looking back at Scott, “I was scared shittless. It wasn’t just the Sentinel, or what was happenin’ there on Utopia. It was all the shit I’d found out about myself, about what I was, where I came from, and who’d been pullin’ the strings.” He shook his head, “I didn’t want to become what _he_ is.”

“I think attempting to kill your friend is well within _his_ expectations for you. More so than standing your ground and fighting _alongside_ anyone.”

“You think I’d be this sullen and melancholy if I thought I’d been acting rational Summers?” Logan turned to look at the man who had been his leader and friend. “I look back on it and see how I panicked, how I fell into the same behavior in the name o’ tryin’ to change. I fucked up. I failed my friends, my people, myself and you. Bet that monster was laughin’ the whole time, tickled pink that’d I’d seen it all, knew what he wanted and still couldn’t get away from the programin’.”

“They’re funny like that - abusers. Some don’t even accept that they are the bad guy and still get off on watching their victim repeat the same patterns.” Scott chuckled and it sounded bitter, hollow almost, “I’m not a telepath but the Phoenix is, in a strange sort of way. Xavier was torn between being shocked and feeling delight seeing me repeat patterns and hold so much power in my hands. It ended up biting him in his posh, fake ass and I don’t care what it makes me that _I_ feel delighted about _that_.”

“Dead isn’t what he should be.” Logan looked at Scott with a stern glint in his eyes, “I’ve heard it from Bobby. I get it. If Xavier was here I’d want him as far from you and anyone vulnerable as possible. Still shouldn’t be dead, specially not by your hand Summers.”

“But he is dead and it was me.” Scott pushed his hands through his hair and breathed in deeply once more before he said, “Things went out of control because none of us were ever meant to hold the Phoenix Force. It takes a very special kind of person to deal with that amount of power and responsibility. None of us were equipped for that and even if I did hold onto my sanity for longer than the rest of them … fight or not - I would’ve lost it eventually. All of you messing with me only sped up the process. Though … if you had never gone and freaked the Avengers out even more with your little happy tale of world destruction, planet eating and Dark Phoenix bullshit then none of that five way split mess would’ve ever happened in the first place.”

The words, ‘Get out’ were on the tip of Logan’s tongue. He almost gave into it. When that battle was won he almost got up and walked out himself. Somehow he managed to keep his seat. Logan shifted and shook his head, angry and uncomfortable. It was only when he knew he wouldn’t say something hurtful in an attempt to piss Scott off that he spoke again at all, “I know.”

“Then again, who knows if Hope would have been able to let the Phoenix go if she hadn’t just watched five people go bloody insane hosting it.” Scott shrugged, “Whatever happened, happened. It’s over now. We both died, we both came back. If that’s not a good reason to bury the hatchet and call it even then I don’t know what is.”

Logan frowned, “You wanna call it a wash and start over?”

“I want to stop ripping this family apart over some shit that literally happened before I died. So, yes. Yes, I want to start over.”

“Alright.” Logan nodded and then finished his beer. It didn’t feel real, but it was. They were making peace. 

“Well, that was easy.” Scott blinked and then chuckled, this time it sounded more honest even if a bit disbelieving. “Somehow I expected we’d be switching locations to the danger room to fight over this.”

“Stomach’s sorta full, not really in the mood to have my ass handed to me.” Logan shrugged, “Sorry to disappoint you Slim.”

Behind the ruby quartz his eyes lit up and Scott couldn’t help a stupid grin, “Slim now hu? We are making progress. One day I’ll get you to call me Scott.”

“You don’t like the nicknames, eh bub?” Logan looked over at Scott, his face carefully neutral.

“I like them fine but you call everyone nicknames. _Not_ being called by one is more special in your case.”

Logan let that sink in for a moment while he focused on keeping a straight face, “You wanna be special?” 

“To you? Yeah.”

“You’ve always been special to me.” It wasn’t easy to say, but Logan was through hiding. “Waking up to hear you were dead was a kick in the face.”

There was a long pause after that. They both had just admitted something they had been ignoring for years and it showed in the tenseness of the silence. Eventually Scott sighed and said, “Well, this is awkward. I thought you’d make fun of me but instead you go and do that thing you don’t do - being honest. And now I’m all out of things to say unless I do something _really_ stupid and tell you things I normally avoid.”

“Shut up and drink your beer Scott.” Logan reached over and put his hand on the surface of Scott’s near thigh and gave it both a little squeeze and caress with the side of his thumb. “Not everything needs sayin’.”

The touch did things to him that Scott couldn’t have explained even if he wanted to. Instead of saying anything else he did as Logan said and just sipped from his beer, wondering how this hadn’t turned into a disaster but being grateful for it.

“Starting over means from the beginning. I’m not good at this and I need you to understand that it’s more complicated than what’s between the two o’ us.” The words were warm, as if touching Scott had melted whatever was responsible for the cool exterior he’d been holding up. Logan leaned a little closer and kept his hand right where it was. “I’ve got five kids I’m tryin’ to make right with. Some o’ them need more from me than others. Some o’ them I’ve screwed up worse than others. They have to come first. Don’t matter how old they are, or what’s happened, I’ve got to put my kids first.”

“You're preaching to the choir, Logan. I've always put my children first - even the ones that weren't technically mine. Yeah, I left Nathan with Madeline for a time but I thought she was better equipped to raise him than me as a single father. I was wrong.”

“I've never put anything before my pride before. I'm not sayin’ anything to reflect on you. This is about me bein’ honest. This is where I'm at.”

“I know. I've been avoiding you but I watched and I listened. You're trying to fix what you've broken. It's why I decided to come here today.”

Logan nodded. “You talk to Jeanie?”

“Does awkwardly sitting together and realizing we have nothing to say to each other count? Because we did that.”

“Sure, we'll count that. The two o’ you figure you're divorced?”

“Yes, without a doubt. Should there be legal issues, we agreed to just both sign the papers and be done with it as quick as possible. Whatever there was, it ended the moment Apocalypse took my body.”

Logan nodded. “Whatever was between Ororo and I ended when I avoided her for a month. She was locked up when I woke up. Think she was lookin’ for comfort when she got home and I … I just didn’t feel like I could do that.” Logan shrugged, “Put the nail in the coffin on that one when I told Jeanie Ororo’s bed was open so far as I knew. Should’ve seen the look on her face Scotty, was like a candle got lit inside o’ her.”

“Yeah, turns out apparently everyone is a lot less straight than I thought. Including myself.”

“Sort’a nice to have it all out in the open. Still don’t think I’d’ve been open about any o’ the guys I beded on the team. It wasn’t normally about romance. More about getting feelings out that I didn’t know how to express or scratchin’ an itch.”

Now Scott was _staring_ and after a moment of dumbfounded silence he asked, “Wait what? You’ve been … but who … _oh_.” He blinked and then turned red, “Oh.”

“Not Alex if that helps.” Logan shrugged. 

“Oh fuck you for putting that image in my head.” Scott groaned and emptied his beer in response.

Logan cackled and squeezed Scott’s thigh. “Awe come’on Scotty. I wasn’t the one sweet on him. You’re real cute when you’re flushed and frustrated.”

“‘M not _cute_.” Pouting a little he leaned close, “But I _am_ a little frustrated.”

“I’ve got that effect on people.” Logan leaned in and nuzzled against the side of Scott’s face. “M’not ready. M’a mess. Don’t gotta wait for me Scotty.”

“Already been waiting for a long time … might as well keep waiting until you stop denying yourself.” It was a mystery to him how they weren’t kissing yet. They should be.

The way Scott pushed against him, the way he smelled, it was almost too much. “Think we should table this. Not the sorta man who’s good at stoppin’ somethin’ once I get started.”

Scott made a soft, unhappy sound but then leaned in and kissed Logan’s cheek. “Next time then.” With that he stood and started for the door, “We’ll have to talk about Kitty and the mess you people have made of the X-Men when I’m sober again … and after a really long shower …”

Before he could stop himself Logan got to his feet and closed the distance between them. His body felt cold in all the places that were no longer pressed against Scott, and the room smelled dull and unappealing now that Scott wasn’t right next to him, filling his lungs. The only hesitation in him came from the fact that he knew Scott wasn’t sober. Rather than push him against the door Logan grabbed Scott’s hand and kissed over his palm while making eye contact. “Yes.”

They were a mess. The two of them had done and said things to each other that couldn’t be excused and yet here he was, wanting to pull Logan to the bed and forget for a little while that the world still wasn’t a welcoming place and that they had a lot to work through. It wasn’t that easy though. “You’re making it hard to leave … not that I want to ...”

“If you were sober I think we’d be in bed.” Logan bit the fleshy part of Scott’s palm and closed his eyes for a moment, just taking it in. After a moment of indulgence he said, “Go, go or I’m going to kiss you.”

“Next time …” Scott swallowed and then quickly left before he did something very stupid and unplanned.

The door closed and Logan groaned. He wasn’t going to take a shower. He was going to be a filthy animal and climb into bed with the throw blanket from the sofa. Scott had leaned against it, and Logan knew it would smell of him. Inside he was full of doubt, worry, and self hate, but he wasn’t going to give into that. Everyone kept telling him to let go, to move on, to just do better. Logan figured right now was a good time to start. With the throw blanket in hand he started to pull off his jeans, “Want you so bad Scotty.” Logan licked his lips, “Love you.”

* * *

**Friday**

It was different than getting into a suit for a fight. Jimmy found that the way it fit was strange and almost alien. He had seen men dressed like this, Magneto more than once in fact, but he was surprised to find that the clothing was pulling him into a particular posture. The tie and the blazer were both left open, the first because he had no idea what to do with it, and the second because he was not prepared to have that much fabric forcing him to stand a certain way, not yet anyway. _What have I gotten myself into?_ “Pinkie … you wanna see how it all fits right? I’ve got it on.”

“Be there in a second.” Quentin called right back and then mumbled under his breath, “Stupid tie, hate doing them on myself …” That gave him an idea and a moment later the knot was sitting perfectly. Telekinesis was such a lovely thing. Giving himself another once over he breathed in deeply and then went to open the bathroom door. Any clever thing he had meant to say went right out of the window the moment he saw Jimmy actually wearing that suit though. _Oh for fucks sake, who the hell decided that all of Logan’s offspring must be stupidly attractive?! Logan is a hairy oaf of an asshole and yet he makes the prettiest of kids. And clones. God he makes pretty clones._

After a moment of staring at each other Jimmy blushed. “You look prettier than a picture Pinkie. I like how committed to a theme you are.” _Does that sound intelligent? Do I sound like someone who just picked their jaw up off the floor?_

“Insert intelligent and witty comment here.” Quentin chuckled at himself and then stepped forward, hands reaching for the tie. “You might have broken my brain a little with how handsome you are.”

“Can’t remember ever wearing a suit.” Jimmy shrugged as Quen drew near, hands on the silky fabric. “Not that I remember much of anything. Guess I clean up alright.”

“We’ll fix your memories. Promise.” Tying a tie for someone else was much easier, yet Quentin still took his time. It was a good excuse to be close. “That is if the wedding doesn’t get crashed by Galactus or something like that. In which case no one is fixing anything ever again.”

Jimmy put his hands on Quen’s hips and kept him from taking a few steps back after the tie was handled. “Dark humor. You expecting something? Worried? Or is that just your normal brand of morbid.”

“I’m just a boring telepath and telekinetic. No future vision or anything fun like that.” There were hands on his hips and Quentin was dying. That didn’t stop him from rambling on though because what else was he going to do? Whimper and fall on his knees? Bad idea. “But let’s just put it like this … nothing ever goes right when you’re an X-Man. Nothing. If something does _seem_ to be going well, expect there to be bloody and dire consequences later.”

“That count for relationships and falling in love?” There was a curious and ernest cast to Jimmy’s features but his tone was mellow, and his hold on Quentin gentle.

“Triple.” He chuckled, “It goes triple for anything romance related. X-Men don’t get happy endings.”

“So you gotta take what you want, and treasure it while you got it eh?” Jimmy leaned down and breathed Quentin in. He didn’t make a show of it, but he didn’t hide what he was doing either. “I like you. I really like you, and the way you look at me says you like me too.”

“I … this is kinda not what I expected. Thought you would tell me something like _I don't even know who I am, no way I'm dating._ ” Quentin swallowed and then breathed out heavily, “I like you. I like you a lot but … I don't know if that's a good idea. I'm kinda responsible for getting your memories back in order and technically that puts me in a position of power over you which means I absolutely shouldn't date you …”

“There are other telepaths. I don’t want any of them in my head, but if that’s what it takes …” Jimmy licked his lips, “I do it … it matters to me that I get my shit in order. I don’t wanna keep being a man without a past, but I know that what I feel for you isn’t going to melt away. Ever since the first time you touched my mind, Quentin, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“You were supposed to reject me.” Quentin closed his eyes for a moment and then looked at Jimmy seriously, “Fuck. Just - kiss me already!”

Jimmy didn’t hesitate. Their lips met and the sound he made came from deep in his chest, a raw, needy moan. His hands tightened their hold on those slim hips as he felt Quentin’s lips part for him. 

It was everything he had imagined and then some. The hold on his hips tightened and there was an insistent tongue making his knees go weak and his head go blank. For a moment there was nothing but them. No background chatter. Just them.

How they ended up with Quentin on the counter, legs spread, blazer off was anyone’s guess. Jimmy had moved from kissing Quetin’s lips to getting to know his throat. As much of it as he could get to above the collar of the annoyingly fitted dress shirt. 

There were about a million things he needed to tell Jimmy and _I’m Trans_ and _I’m a virgin_ were only two examples, but they were the ones that sat in the back of his throat, the ones he couldn’t convince himself to actually say. He didn’t want this to end. Maybe that was selfish but people assumed he was a selfish asshole anyway so might as well prove them right. “Gonna leave a mark?”

“May I?” The words were thick and almost harsh, but Jimmy had not yet left any lingering evidence of their impromptu makeout. 

“Fuck yeah, right where everyone is gonna see.” 

Jimmy pushed his right hand up into Quentin’s hair, gave it a firm tug to the side, and set into leaving a mark. His mind raced along with his pulse, flowing around as blood through the veins, repeating a fevered refrain; _My darling, my Quenie, my sweetie, my heart …_

_[Jimmy …]_ His mouth was making noises that Quentin hadn’t ever heard from himself before and that was embarrassing but he couldn’t be bothered to care. Jimmy was doing wonderful things and this suit was going to be ruined if this kept up.

_[Oh good lord yes, need you here.]_ The feeling of Quentin actively touching his mind sent thrills through him. Jimmy pulled at the tie till it loosened and then worked the first two buttons open as well. _[Quenie, I’m yours, all yours.]_

_[This? You like this?]_ It surprised him. There weren’t many people who _enjoyed_ having a Telepath in their head because people, by nature, were secretive beings. Jimmy didn’t seem to give half of a fuck. _[Oh that’s fun … here let me show you something …]_ His ‘touch’ was gentle and brief, just a brush along Jimmy’s pleasure centers. A tease. A promise perhaps.

“Quentin!” Jimmy’s hips rolled as he pulled their bodies flush to each other in a rush of need spurred by that delicious full body sensation. 

The feeling of a hard cock against him made Quentin shiver and gasp for breath. It was not that he hadn’t known Jimmy was hard, it was that he hadn’t expected to feel it like this. “Yeah? Something the matter handsome?”

“No, everything’s right.” Their eyes met and Jimmy smiled wolfishly, “Want you, want everything that comes with it. Thought about this, about what it means to love a telepath and a self avowed jerk. Want this, you, all of it.” 

“Y-you just … uhm … that’s a _big_ statement right there.” Quentin had expected a lot of things but most definitely not the use of the big scary L-word.

“You keep touching my mind, grazing against me to make sure I’m alright all the way in Madripoor.” Jimmy arched a brow and rolled his hips again, still hard, still eager, as his lips went to kiss over the tender spots on Quentin’s throat. _[We can take it slow. I’ve just been fantasizing about this moment for weeks.]_

_[I’m not what you think I am.]_ There was no real obligation, even if they started to have sex, for him to disclose anything but it felt incredibly wrong to not be honest and open. _[This body … I wasn’t born with it. And the whole bullshit confidence? Fake. So fucking fake I should get a damn Oscar for it.]_

Though he was horny Jimmy stopped rutting against Quetin and looked him in the eyes, “Not born this way?” Jimmy blinked at the mental image and became even more confused, “I don’t understand … why are you telling me this?”

“Full disclosure. I don’t want there to be lies between us. I’ve done lies and they freaking suck.” Quentin could tell easily that it wouldn’t matter if he was still in an unaltered assigned female at birth body. Jimmy didn’t care. Sex and gender didn’t matter to him beyond knowing how to address someone. “Though you’ll find all the bits and pieces you’d expect because there was this phase where I was literally just a ball of energy – it’s a long story.”

“If what you want is full disclosure and honesty then we gotta wait till I can reciprocate.” Jimmy leaned in and kissed Quentin’s cheek, “Which is, reasonable, despite how damned good you smell.” With a sigh Jimmy continued to calm himself. His mind worked over everything he'd been told, “I take it this has been a problem in the past, people not respecting who you are.”

“That’s the understatement of the century.” Quentin licked his lips and shifted, feeling squirmy and needy but also a little relieved. They shouldn’t rush. It was just that he also really wanted to drop on his knees and suck Jimmy’s cock. “Ninety nine percent of people here don’t even know because of how much close minded bullshit runs in the Mutant community.”

“It’s stupid. Doesn’t matter, your body, your life. You ought to be free to …” Jimmy cut himself off and sighed, “S’never like that is it?” He shook his head and caressed Quentin's cheek. “You’re a man, the most gorgeous one I ever saw, and I’d like to spend a lot of time kissing you.”

“Change back into your comfortable clothes and then come join me in my bed. I expect lots of kisses.” Smiling he jumped from the counter, gave Jimmy a quick peck on the lips and then went back into the bedroom.

“I’ll make you come in your pants pretty boy, you better be careful what you wish for.” The frustration in his tone was entirely from trying to loosen his own tie, and not at all from the sudden lack of body to body contact. Or that was what Jimmy told himself. 

Quentin stood there in his bedroom, fiddling with his tie, completely dazed by what had just happened. After a moment he grabbed his phone and send a text to Bobby.

> **Q -** Snikts are great. You were absolutely right.  
>  Typically I’m always right yeah. Glad to hear you’ve come to the Snikt side. Use a condom **\- B**  
>  **Q -** Isn’t one of the benefits that they can’t have anything? Also not having sex  
>  Yeah, so far as I know they can’t be carriers either. I’m just giving you a hard time Q **\- B**  
>  Get it? Hard time? That was a quality joke and if you didn’t smirk you’re wrong. **\- B**  
>  I’m hilarious! **\- B**  
>  **Q -** Go suck a dick  
>  **Q -** I still ❤ you though  
>  Of course you do I’m the lovable dork. Like the baby on Dinosaurs, I’m the Bobby, gotta love me! **\- B**

“Who’re you texting?” Jimmy’s voice came from the bathroom doorway. He was dressed in his jeans and nothing else. 

“The lovable dork.” Putting the phone down he turned and paused at the sight of Jimmy, shirtless and just plain gorgeous. There was, as expected, some hair but it wasn’t easy to spot with it being blonde against tanned skin. Quentin had a lot of questions about the whole blonde child with darker skin thing but Jimmy didn’t remember so he couldn’t ask. Not that it mattered right then. “You’re gorgeous.”

He shrugged, “The muscles just sort of happen I think.” Jimmy strode forward, unaware of how his motions were slick, how he flowed through a space, solid, powerful, but not without grace. “I suppose I’m not hard to look at. Don’t get many complaints.”

“The way you move, how you hold yourself … the light in your hair and the color of your eyes, not quite blue but not green either …” Quentin swallowed, “I’m having a really hard time wrapping my head around why you’d want _me_.”

“You’re a fireball.” Jimmy swung himself into the bed and pulled Quentin against him. “You’re smart, funny, and adorable. The pink hair …” There was a big smirk on Jimmy’s face, “... I like it. The way you refuse to apologize for who or what you are on any level, that … that speaks to something in me. At the same time you’re so tender and gentle. Every time you touch my mind I feel that, how caring and sweet you are.”

“I try to keep up the image of an asshole but I’m bad at it when it comes to people I like.” Despite still having his vest, shirt and slacks on, Quentin went willingly. Who cared if he had to get the suit ironed before Saturday? He didn’t.

“I like him, the asshole.” Jimmy grinned. “I like this too.” With a soft rolling sound deep in his chest, Jimmy nuzzled against Quentin’s cheek. “Mean it, I like all of you. Nothing’s gonna change that.”

“Nothing? Not even the unavoidable future of me being a Phoenix host?”

“Daken and I talked about that.” Jimmy shrugged, “Whatever it means, and I don’t pretend to understand, it doesn’t matter. What’s the point of loving someone if it’s conditional on them staying the same? Who you are right now, I want all of it, and I want the chance to know who you’re going to be.”

“Kiss me. Kiss me and don’t ever stop again.” Straddling Jimmy he leaned down and did just that, savoring the feeling of being wanted just the way he was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hello there, Nausi here.**  
>  Back by popular demand is the day to day format featured in the previous chapter. This won't be true for each chapter going forward but Finn and I do have plans to use this format at least one more time. We play fast and loose with time because time is not the most important thing in our story, people and relationships are our focus. 
> 
> Our next chapter will be the wedding chapter and I just want to remind everyone that this is going to be different from what was featured in X-Men Gold #30. It will be more queer, obviously, since we are not intending to mirror Canon here. 
> 
> Recently Finn and I have both experienced an outpouring of feedback and interaction from our readers. We both thank you all for the time and effort put into this. Please keep the comments, the questions, the predictions, the requests, all of it, coming.


	43. Chapter 43

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here it is, the day everyone was waiting for; _The wedding of the century._ Or is it? Does anything ever just go over smoothly when the X-Men are involved?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Inexplicit F/F Sexual Content, Orgasms, Flirting, Body Insecurity, Alcohol, Wedding, Relationships, Complications, Feeding, Romance, Kissing, Jealousy, Dancing, Past Violence, Trust, Everyone Is Queer
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Saturday, 11.00AM**

It was Saturday morning and Jean had officially decided that weddings were the worst invention that humanity had ever come up with. “’Rooo,” She stuck her head out of the bathroom and pouted at her girlfriend, “I’m too fat for this dress! Why did you let me eat that extra slice of cake?! I look like a sea cow and it’s horrible!”

Ororo turned back towards the bathroom. She was half dressed herself. There was no dress on her yet but all her underpinnings, as such things went, were in place. She walked towards Jean’s distressed call in stocking feet with a smile on her face. “Darling you are nervous. Take a deep breath.”

There was no direct reply because Jean was busy _staring_ at her beautiful girlfriend in her beautiful undergarments with that perfect, rich skin tone and her lovely silvery white hair. It was absolutely unfair how stunningly beautiful Ororo was. “How did I spent twenty something years of my life oblivious to how goddamn beautiful women are? You are?!” Jean came out of the bathroom and reached for Ororo, hands running through her hair, “You will steal the show from Kitty without even trying.”

“Jean.” Without missing a beat Ororo reached down and gave Jean’s ass a firm grab while kissing over that smooth fair neck. “If we had time I would get under your skirt and prove to you that there is more than enough room for you in this lovely gown.”

It made her turn red and chuckle softly. Ororo always managed to make her smile and forget about anything but them. It was something she loved more than words could express. “I already put my make-up on, you can’t make me turn into a moaning mess … as much as I would like that.”

Ororo’s right hand snuck between them and a puff of wind helped her with the long green skirt. “You are certain?” Her hand cupped the silk clad warmth between Jean’s thighs. “If you levitated your squirming wouldn’t even disturb your hair or creese your dress.”

“Ooh, oh -” Jean moaned and her hands found purchase on Ororo’s shoulders as she rocked her hips without thought. “Meanie, perfect beautiful meanie!”

It was almost too much even for her. Ororo kissed over Jean’s neck, mindful of her makeup, and giggled a little, a rare sound. “Your eagerness will undo me someday. You’re beautiful in this dress, and the only thing I want more than to let them all see us together is to get you back here after the ceremony.”

“I want to catch – oh, catch the flowers.” That little giggle made her feel more needy and excited than she could have explained with words. Any happy sound from Ororo made her want to draw more of them from her. “And then – yes, god, then come back here yes.”

“We have both been married, we are not girls anymore.” Ororo leaned back so that she could look her lover in the eyes and found that she couldn’t say the jaded words that had been on her lips. Almost without her bidding her fingers continued at their pleasurable occupation. “It doesn’t matter if you catch it or not. I am keeping you Jean Grey. We will talk about what that means when I am not in my underwear.”

“’m yours.” Jean made a little high pitched sound and then shuddered as she came. Ororo was unfairly good at this and now she needed a new pair of panties. “You get to keep me forever.”

“You are so beautiful like this.” Ororo smiled and held Jean against herself. “Breath for a moment my flower and then I will help you.” _I am going to be late. Forgive me Kitty, life is too short to miss moments like these._

~~~~~

**Saturday, 11.30AM**

“Have I ever mentioned that I hate ties?” Scott was standing by the mirror making a fool out of himself with trying to tie his tie. Jean used to do that for him and then there had been Emma. Now he realized that maybe he should have asked them to teach him instead of being the foolish boyfriend who let himself get helped. “And suits. I hate suits. I’d rather be going in my hero get up.”

“You’re a real inspiration Slim.” Logan stood up from his chair and came over to stand behind Scott. “You bend down a little and I’ll show you.” When Scott didn’t move Logan rolled his eyes, “You’re too damn tall for me to reach around and show you in the mirror like this, you gotta squat down so I can reach string bean.”

“How the hell did you put on your suit this fast?” Scott frowned but he obeyed and squatted down to let Logan show him. “I swear you never get dressed that fast for a mission.”

“Suits are easy.” Logan shrugged and started setting himself up to fix Scott’s tie. They were both looking in the mirror at what Logan’s hands were doing. His lips brushed against the shell of Scott’s ear, voice soft, as he instructed, “See, one side longer than the other, this goes over yeah? Under, and through. It’s a slip knot. Easy.”

“I saw what you did but I don’t know if my brain took in that information. I was a little distracted …” Scott knew he had to be blushing but the red shades made it impossible to see himself flush. Thankfully.

“What?” Logan asked innocently. The grin on his face was a bit less convincing than his tone. After a moment he backed off and stepped out of the bathroom. “Come here Scotty. Not doin’ this in the bathroom.”

“Doing what?” Scott blinked but followed. The small teachers bathrooms were not a comfortable place for two people anyway.

Logan grabbed the freshly settled tie and pulled Scott down. “Can smell it all over you Scotty. First time I kiss you I don’t want there to be an audience. We been dancin’ around this too long.”

His heart skipped a beat, hands settling on Logan’s shoulders as he swallowed. This was going to happen. They were going to - “Just do it already, been waiting forever …”

“Come’ere.” Logan chuckled and pulled Scott over to the sofa. “You’ve gotta sit down. What I got is gonna blow you away.”

“You sure know how to make me want to whine and pout.” Scott did settle down but he was done waiting. Using the momentum of his motions he pulled Logan into that long overdue kiss and made a soft, low sound.

Logan ended up straddling Scott’s lap, which was not an issue for him. He got his hands on either side of Scott’s throat and drank in all the lovely sounds. Neither of them help back, in fact the way Scott parted his lips for him made Logan want to skip the wedding entirely. Logan moaned from down low in his chest and nodded as their lips kept at it. 

Scott's hands found their way into that dark hair and he forgot for a long moment that they were supposed to show up to a wedding. All that mattered was the way Logan nipped at his bottom lip and the rough drag of stubble against his skin. Scott had never thought about how that would feel but now that he was experiencing it, he found it exciting. _Kissing a guy and the world isn’t exploding. Should’ve done this ages ago._

It took awhile but eventually Logan sat back and just looked at Scott. It wasn’t as if he’d never seen Scott out of breath before, but never like this, never because _they_ had been kissing. Logan nuzzled back in against Scott’s cheek and closed his eyes, “Sorta wish we could just stay here.”

“Yeah … but she’s your girl. Kitty would be upset if you didn’t show up for her big day.” 

“Yeah, can’t miss this.” Logan kissed over Scott’s pulse point and groaned, “Just never wanna stop kissin’ you.”

“It’s just a few hours … and then I’m all yours. If you let me stay the night that is.”

Logan had to laugh at that. He shook his head and kissed Scott’s brow, “Like how you think I might say no. O’ course you can stay over.”

“Good.” He smirked, “Now kiss me again and then let’s go be social.”

~~~~~

**Saturday, 11.45AM**

It was supposed to be a happy morning. Illyana knew that she should have been with her brother or with her best friend, but instead she was just moving through everything numbly. It shouldn’t have taken her long to get ready. Hisako had texted her, and she knew that she was late, but it was hard to care. _Kitty is going to marry Piotr. This is really happening._ Her heart ached in her chest and Illyana felt a stab of guilt. _I tried to talk her out of it. I am trying to ruin my brother’s happiness. Why? Am I that selfish?_

The school was filled with conflicting and overwhelming feelings for a week now. Everyone was having some kind of emotion regarding this marriage. It was hard to blend it all out and yesterday she had spent three hours with Quentin in the Danger Room, just chatting and enjoying the silence of the telepathy proof room. Quentin had programmed that lovely beach for them and the feeling of waves against her feet had been nice. Today there was no such escape though and her instincts led her to the greatest source of distress.

Knocking on Illyana’s door she reached out and gently relayed, _[It’s just me.]_

Without even thinking Illyana opened the door and ushered Rachel in. “I know, I’m late I just, I need a moment. Come in.”

“Relax, you have some time left.” Rachel was not surprised to see her friend dressed in black but the look in these light blue eyes did take her off guard. It wasn’t just worry or sadness, that was despair. “Yana, are you alright?”

“No matter what happens today it’s going to be horrible. I almost wish Limbo would just swallow me whole.” 

“Please no. It smells horrible in there and we’d go try to rescue you.” Rachel stepped closer and reached out tentatively, when Yana didn’t move back she stroked her cheek, “I know, this is bad. This is the worst but … if it makes her happy …”

“It won’t make her happy. You know that as well as I do.” Illyana sighed but leaned into the comforting touch. “If Kitty doesn’t go through with this is will break my brother’s heart. I do not believe he loves her, but he thinks he does, and he does care about her deeply. I tried to …” Illyana looked down and closed her eyes. “Rachel, why is it I can never tell her the truth?”

“Because the truth is scary. Being vulnerable is scary.” Drawing the blonde into her arms she stroked that long hair and sighed, “Same reason why Kitty is still sitting in her safe little closet …”

“I love her.” Illyana said the words and nothing bad happened. Clinging to Rachel she shook her head, “I’m in love with her but she’s marrying my brother.”

“Maybe. Maybe not. It still hasn’t happened but we are getting awfully close to that.” Rachel made a face and sighed more heavily, “I wish Bobby would give her some tips on coming out.”

“Ha! He had to be outed by his time displaced teen aged self and your mom’s teen self. I don’t think Bobby’s the one to go to. Northstar … at least he did it himself and punched someone.”

“Jean-Paul, Bobby, Rictor and Daken should team up and give advice. I’d attend that class just for the insanity.”

Despite herself Illyana laughed. It died in her throat though. Looking up at Rachel her breath caught in her throat and she felt her heart beat fast. “Kitty isn’t the only one making a mistake.”

“Yeah … I’m still sitting next to her in my own little closet.” They were looking at each other and Rachel was surprised by how fast her heart was beating. “I’m dating Kurt when I really don’t … I like him but …”

“He’s gorgeous and funny but you’re there for the sex. We both know that’s why you’re still with him.” There was precious little space between their faces and Illyana was tired of pretending. “I don’t have to be a telepath to know you’re as upset as I am about Kitty.”

“The sex is pretty good … maybe a bit much dick involved but yeah …” Rachel knew what they were both thinking and she wanted to but was that right? “I love her. I do. Have for a long time but … you two are really good together. She smiles so much with you.”

“You, Rachel Grey Summers, are an idiot.” Without another thought Illyana put her hand behind Rachel's head and then leaned in for a long, deep kiss.

That was the opposite of what she expected to happen when she came here. It was also the best surprise of her life. With a soft moan she kissed right back, hands tangled in silky strands of blonde hair.

They were both going to have to touch up their makeup but Illyana did not care. The only thing that mattered was finally living her truth. For far too long she had refused to express herself, refused to take hold of her desires. If it was violence, if it was humor, she indulged, but nothing else. Now, for the first time she was refusing to abstain, refusing to be proper. _[Rachel, Kitty has two hands. Besides, it hasn’t just been her I wanted for a long time.]_

_[Heavens … are we … going to crash this wedding? Oh, you kiss really, really well.]_

_[Kitty and Piotr get to make their own mistakes.]_ Illyana pulled back and smiled, “When you’ve figured out what you’re doing with Kurt you and I should talk.” 

“Y-yes.” Rachel nodded and pushed her hands through her own hair, feeling flushed and excited. “I will talk to him … after the wedding. I don’t want to ruin this day for anyone. Not like that.”

“Go.” Illyana licked her lips. “I can’t be expected to keep my hands off of you if you stay. Not after that.” _I am a demon. Then again I’ve seen real evil._ “Go Rachel.”

Leaning in she kissed Illyana’s cheek and then quickly left, aware that they both wanted far more and that they shouldn’t. At least, not yet. 

~~~~~

**Saturday, 12.00PM**

It was a picturesque day. One of these beautiful sunny days with a cloudless blue sky, warm temperatures and a mild breeze. The sort of thing one would find in a cliche romance novel from the dollar store. Daken looked at the scene and to him it was easy to see that this was going to be a disaster. No marriage that started with an unrealistically perfect day could ever possibly hold. However, he was enjoying the sunlight and the comfortable feeling of cooler air in his hair. It was none of his concern whether or not Pryde and Rasputin would manage to have their happy ever after. They both barely tolerated his presence and he didn’t care enough to change that. There was only so much social interaction he could deal with and his family, including Bobby, was enough to drain him in that regard.

However, there was one more person who he cared about just enough to have been concerned when they disappeared for several weeks. “So … you _are_ alive hu?” Daken stood next to the cajun and gave him a look.

“Alive and ready for cake.” Remy smiled and gave Daken a once over. There was a crispness about Daken’s dress and manner that were pleasant to look at. The white suit with black shirt and tie were smart and flattering with Daken’s bright blue eyes and raven black hair. It was something more than that which held Remy’s attention though. Something that was burning within and skin deep at the same time. “You just like weddings or are you sharin’ that sunshine around as a favor to the rest of us mere mortals eh?”

It put a hint of color on his cheeks and Daken didn’t quite meet these ruby and black eyes but he did smile, “I hate weddings and I hate overly heterosexual events in general … but I am here with someone who could make any event worthwhile.”

“Our little snowball no?” There was a glint of amusement in his eyes as Remy nodded, “Bobby Drake’s the sorta man who can light up a room with a few words. Doesn’t surprise me that you’re smitten.”

“The way he looks at me … I don’t think I’ve ever felt more human.” His eyes moved over the guests and settled on Bobby who was having a moment with his younger self. That was still odd but also sort of cute.

“The way you look at him, I seen that a few times.” Remy grinned broadly and nodded, “Cupid has done his work on you Cher.”

“It won’t last but it’s nice while it does.” Daken shrugged and then asked, casually, “Rumor has it you’re back to dating Rogue?”

“Give a man whiplash switchin’ games like that.” Remy chuckled. It was almost cute the way Daken thought he could get away from Bobby Drake. _If you think that boy gonna let go of you while he thinks you still love him you got another thing coming._ “Oui, she and I are testin’ the waters, and they feel quite nice.”

“Your wedding better have lemon flavored cake. It’s my favorite and it fits the theme.”

Remy cackled and shook his head. “Rogue and I ain’t the wedding type. If we ever tie the knot it’ll be something small and spur of the moment. This whole thing -” Remy motioned about, “- s’only good as a distraction. If I were me and wantin’ to steal from the X-Men, this is when I’d do it.”

“Shh, hush you! You can’t let them know my sinister plans to rob the mansion while they are all busy and to run off to … Canada.”

Remy leaned back with the sharp peel of laughter that birthed itself from his chest at Daken’s words. “Oui, désolé. Excusez-moi! How thoughtless of this old _thief?!_ ”

“Are you laughing about me or about my joke? I can’t tell.” Daken was smiling either way because making someone laugh like that was something he did not achieve often. And as if the occasion was too good to miss out on, Bobby approached them. “Snowflake, the cajun is mean to me.”

“You’ve uncovered his secret, he’s mean to everyone.” Bobby elbowed his friend in the side and gave him a withering look, “They’re trying to get me to help out with sex ed classes since you’ve been gone!”

“Awe, mon amie. I’ll come home soon. Don’t make such a long face.” Remy adopted a mock seriousness as he looked at the pair of them, “Here, look at your date. You won’t be able to frown.”

“I should teach sex ed. I am sure that would go well.” Daken chuckled as he reached for Bobby’s hand and interlaced their fingers. The way Bobby lit up just looking at him did funny things to his – everything.

“Daken that is one of your worst ideas. No one would be paying attention.” Bobby shook his head and leaned close. His eyes were fixed on Daken, on those deep blue eyes.

“Like a fresh peach.” Remy shook his head and then smiled as Laura and Gabby came over to greet them. “Well, hello hello ladies. Lovely as always. Laura these shorts, the ruffle shirt, you look incredible.”

“Thank you.” Laura look over at her brother, who was glowing with affection, “It’s all Daken’s fault. I think he meant for all of us to match. Jimmy’s in green, but he makes such a fine match with Quire that I can’t imagine being upset.”

“They’re super adorable.” Despite the argument she’d had with Laura an hour ago Gabby was in high spirits now. She leaned forward and looked at Drake with curious eyes.

“Gabby, hey!” Bobby looked away from Daken for a moment and held out his free hand, “Crisp high five?”

Fluttering skirts and all Gabby lept up and smacked the offered hand with glee, “Oh heck yes! Nothing like a crisp high five!”

“Me wanting our family to match? Now why would I do something so ridiculous and silly …” Daken looked away to where Logan was, coincidentally also dressed in black and white. Gabby was the one with the most color - or so he had thought until he saw Jimmy in that three piece forest green suit. Quire did have good taste, there was no denying that.

“Purple is the best color!” There was a bit of a dry laugh from Gabby, “Well, except for magenta, like godfather Remy’s eyes.”

“Godfather Remy …” Bobby snorted.

Laura leaned towards Daken, “You want us to match because you adore this.” Their eyes met, “Because you like belonging to this.”

The light hearted atmosphere took quite the hit with that sentence and Daken tensed, not sure what to do with that. It was true but he wasn’t about to admit that.

Sensing the change in mood Bobby squeezed Daken’s hand more tightly and rubbed his thumb back and forth in a slow, soothing motion, like the lowest setting on windshield wipers. 

“Oui, Laura asked, and who am I to say no to such a beautiful woman?” Remy shook his head. He too noticed the change in Daken, but he knew that he was not the one to sooth what Laura had brought to the surface. There was an unintentional moodiness to her these days, and Remy guessed that she’d meant to be welcoming with those words, gently teasing at the importance of these familial bonds they shared. _Don’t go too hard on yourself Laura. Daken is a sore one, and you meant no harm._

The soothing motions calmed him down quicker than Daken thought was possible. A part of him was shocked and worried that Bobby had this amount of control over him but mostly Daken was thankful. There was no need to throw a fit and have a whole bunch of people witness it.

“If you're a godfather … where is my baby to love on? I bet I'd make as good a dad as you would be a godfather.” Teasing Remy was far more fun than dealing with his emotions.

“I’ve got three cats.” Remy chuckled, “Will they do?”

Laura watched and wondered at it. She’d been more than a little skeptical about this pairing but Bobby seemed to be at least as invested in Daken as he was in Bobby. Not only that he could apparently sooth Daken’s anxiety and fears. It was impressive to say the least. Nothing had been said, no great attention had been drawn. Bobby had simply cared enough to act in subtle ways to remind Daken that he was ... _That he is loved._

“I haven’t met these cats!” Gabby asserted with a bit of a glare. “You need to move back to the school!”

“Three? Isn't that a bit much? I can understand wanting one but three seems like trouble.” Daken shook his head and then added, “Gabby's right though - you should be living here so that you don't miss all the fun.”

“We miss you.” Laura added earnestly.

Remy sighed and shook his head. “Lot closer to Avenger’s tower. Sorta good and bad that, no?” With a soft chuckle Remy shrug, “We see what we see. Might be I’m homeward bound.”

~~~~~

**Saturday, 12.10PM**

Not only did it turn out that he wasn’t the single one who had the brilliant idea of going with a white suit and a black shirt, but Quentin also had to deal with an unexpected amount of mental chatter. Normally the school was a nice place to be because everyone knew to think quietly. Not today. Not with so many outsiders around. It drew him over to the refreshments for a glass of brightly blue colored pina colada punch. If asked, he’d blame Daken for the early noon drinking. Daken in his stupid perfect suit with his stupid perfect face and hair and Quentin was pretty sure the asshole was wearing eyeliner. Daken was horrible - he made the style look far more mature and elegant, especially with the addition of having Bobby wear the classical black suit, white shirt style. Bobby looked unfairly good too but that wasn’t an actual surprise to him. Quentin knew that beneath the pun-shirts and shorts was a gorgeous man.

“Hey.” Jimmy reached out and plucked the drink out of Quentin’s hand. “Maybe you wanna stay sober.” Jimmy gave Quen a meaningful look as he knocked back the drink in one go. 

“If I have the choice between sober and not sober, I will never pick …” He trailed off, blinking a few times before it sunk fully in what had just been implied there. “Oh. Nevermind. Being sober is great.” 

“You’re cute.” Jimmy grinned a little and laced their fingers together. There were looks but mostly no one said anything. The wind shifted and he caught scent of his ‘father’. _I thought too loudly._

“Well, aren’t you two like a pair o’ peas in a pod?” Logan looked between Quentin and Jimmy, curiously. 

Quentin sighed, took a deep breath and turned to look at Logan with a little smirk on his lips, “I’ve got Daddy Issues and so I figured why not go for the blonde, cuter version of my sort of father figure? I like doing socially frowned upon things.”

“Right, because you’ve always let what people think dictate what you do.” Logan rolled his eyes. “Kid’s nothin’ like me besides the looks and the claws.” Logan looked over at Jimmy, “S’ah compliment kid.”

“Didn’t have to explain. I get it.” Jimmy shrugged.

“Oh look it’s the Snikt-family self hatred. How awfully interesting.” Giving them both a look he sighed and then shrugged, “It just happened, who the hell knows why and who cares? I’m more interested in how you got Summers to come because I was absolutely sure he wouldn’t show up.” Quentin looked past Logan at the clearly uncomfortable man in question who was faced with three redheads.

“He wanted to see his girls.” Logan shrugged. His suit was the classic black and white, but there was no vest, and he was wearing black cowboy boots under his slacks. They were very nice boots, but still boots. “Might’ve wanted to see me in a suit. Might be I had nothing to do with it. Scott loves his kids.”

“Summers looks good, sort’a overwhelmed but not bad.” Jimmy squeezed Quen’s hand and looked at Logan, “It’s good you got him to come. Laura’ll be happy. She likes the Scotts.”

“If I came back to life and suddenly my should be dead wife is alive _and_ there is a mini sized version of her running around … I would look that uncomfortable and confused too.” Quentin shook his head and leaned a little against Jimmy, savoring the way they were continuing to touch. “Though apparently he’s more interested in you than them …”

“Were you talking about me? You know, talking behind people’s back is very rude, Quentin.” Scott stood next to Logan and glanced down at the linked hands before smiling. That was cute and unexpected.

“He's mine, course he's rude.” Logan shrugged. “Laura's the only one seems to have manners after the common meaning o’ the term.”

The fact that Logan had just essentially claimed him as his own put color on his cheeks and Quentin was thankful that Scott covered for him while he tried to get his bearings again. _Stupid old man._

“Daken seems to understand the concept of politeness just fine.” Scott chuckled, “But he isn’t all that interested in following it.”

“S’pose he does, and he’s usin’em today. You see the way he charmed Ororo?” Logan shook his head.

Jimmy rolled his eyes, “Doesn’t hurt that he was having some sort of feeling about her dress.”

“It’s a beautiful dress. Very flattering and just breaking all the rules about not outshining the bride. No matter what Pryde is going to be wearing, she is not topping that dress.” Quentin had a soft spot for it as well. Ororo had always been gorgeous and quite stylish but this was possibly the most beautiful dress he had seen her in yet.

“It’s a dress?” Jimmy shrugged and leaned against Quentin. 

“Don’t worry Jimmy. We can tell you’re more o’ a pink lemonade fan and that’s respectable.” Logan reached over and put a hand on the small of Scott’s back, a soft gentle touch of affection and comfort. “Ro’s somethin’ else. She can make a bed sheet look like a queen’s gown. Anyone else’d look silly in that thing.”

Staring for a moment Quentin blinked and then chuckled, “This wedding is a lot less straight than I expected it to be. Think the couple might be the only straight people under fifty around here.”

“Might be a mutant thing.” Jimmy shrugged. The sound of Quentin laughing, even just that little bit, was delightful. “Think my brother and his date are gay enough for all of us though. Anyone else notice how they’re making eyes at each other?”

“Yes and if I have to see that all day, I’m gonna convince them _nicely_ to go get a damn room.” Quentin tried to hide his smile.

~~~~~

**Saturday, 12.15PM**

Kitty was nowhere to be seen but Illyana and Piotr were about, as was Rachel and Kurt. Bobby wasn’t sure why it seemed so wrong, Rachel and Kurt. They’d been good friends, and they liked each other. It simply didn’t gel though. They weren’t really affectionate and they certainly didn’t ‘gel’. There was a strange tension in the air that Bobby wasn’t sure could be put down to pre ceremony jitters. Yana seemed unusually reserved. If Bobby had thought she would talk to him, if he hadn’t seen Hisako, Rogue, and Ororo tending to her, he would have parted from Daken to check in. As it was he knew that there was nothing he could add that those three weren’t already handling, and Bobby very much wanted to be near Daken.

There was no doubt that some people likely found it in poor taste that he was so besotted with Daken so soon, and being so open about it at someone else’s wedding. Bobby had no plans of loud declarations though, he just couldn’t help feeling what he felt. It showed on his face and in the way he spoke, Bobby was certain of that. He didn’t care. Daken was happy. It wouldn’t always be this way, no one could always be happy, which meant this was something to be treasured even more. Daken was happy and it was due in part to the fact that they were together. All the little touches between them were delicious. He’d caught Remy grinning at them, and Piotr frowning. Scott seemed distracted by all the redheads, which was about the summary of about half Scott's life anyway. 

Bobby leaned over and murmured in Daken’s ear, “I think Quen is sulking because of how good you look in this suit.”

The way Bobby’s hot breath felt against bare skin made him shiver a little and Daken squeezed the hand he was holding before answering, “He’ll get over it. After all, he looks good too. Not big on that color choice but it fits him and he made my little brother look way more classy than I expected he could look. That’s a fine suit with that earthy green color.” Both his sisters had been dragged off by the Original five and Remy had grinned when Rogue came to get him. It was just them now, for the moment anyway.

“You notice the matching pocket squares? It’s adorable.” The way Daken squeezed his hand made Bobby’s heart leap.

“They are ridiculous.” Shaking his head he tried not to smile but that seemed to be impossible these days. Daken wasn’t used to that odd feeling of actually being content and _happy_.

“What does that make us hu?” Bobby pushed against Daken’s side and chuckled, “Look at us. You put us in miss matched to match suits.”

“We are also quite ridiculous.” Daken shrugged and looked at his partner with an amused expression.

“I wanna kiss you.” Bobby lifted their hands and kissed the back of Daken’s instead of leaning in for what he admitted to wanting. “I like this, being ridiculous with you.”

“Don’t get too used to it. Weddings don’t happen that often.” There was movement around them and Daken sighed, “Think it’s time to sit down and pretend I care about any of this.”

“Let’s see if we can get a seat with your sisters. They’re popular so we might have to play dirty.” Bobby grinned and moved towards the white folding chairs.

~~~~~

**Saturday, 12.15PM**

Laura had taken him aside and Daken wasn’t entirely sure why but he could never deny his beautiful sister anything. “What’s the matter, sis?” Most of the guests were already settled and the ceremony would start in a few minutes.

“Nothing’s wrong I just, I just got a text and I thought you would want to know. I’m not going to say anything to Gabby till after the wedding though.” Laura smiled and took a deep breath, “SHIELD had Bellona, and while she was there, while Hill was in command, I knew she was being well taken care of. Then SHIELD fell and Hill became a wanted woman. Bellona got folded into the Box.” Laura was clearly frustrated at that, but she kept talking, “She made it clear to Gabby and I in a letter that she didn’t want to be broken out. So we started trying to get her out other ways. Logan suggested we see what Alpha Flight could do and he told me McCoy and Brand were still sort of on again off again. I went to him and he spoke to her and I guess they’re pulling a few strings.” It was obvious now that Laura was nearly vibrating with excitement, “They’ve gotten her out! It’s all legal so Bellona didn’t ague, and she’s agreed to go with them. She free!”

There was a pause as he wrapped his head around that but then Daken smiled brightly and leaned in to kiss his sister’s cheek. “Good job. I’m kinda sad we aren’t doing any prison breaking but as long as she is out, I’m good with it.”

“I want her here but … I think she’s worried about Gabby. We were sending her letters before she went to the Box. She saw how things have progressed and I think … I think Bellona believes she’s no good for Gabby. I’m hoping that some time on the outside doing good and learning about herself will let her come home.” 

“If that doesn’t help, I’m here to play prime example on why joining the X-Men is a good life choice. Oh god, I just actually said that …”

That made Laura laugh. It turned more than a few heads but she didn’t care, not in the least. “You did say it. Come on, let’s go sit down. Kitty’ll be walking down the aisle anytime now.”

~~~~~

**Saturday, 12.30PM**

It was a shame. Not only would Daken have to try to appear as if he was paying attention, but he could no longer easily people-watch. The prospect of sitting with his sisters brightened things but it could not make up for the dull and meaningless charade he was about to witness. How so many of the guests seemed excited was a mystery to him. The bride had smelled of regret and worry for _days_ ahead of this and while most of these people would not know that, some did. Daken knew speaking up would’ve just caused chaos though. His place in this group was barely beginning to form, he had no ‘right’ to tell that woman to not make a mistake such as this.

Katherine Pryde was a woman on the cusp of becoming a truer version of herself. Daken assumed that she would make all the choices necessary to end up in much the same position Summers had found himself in while trying to govern Utopia; burnt out and abandoned by all her friends and family. Some people might have thought he would enjoy watching such a downward spiral take hold, but they would be wrong. Daken found no joy in watching someone who was more or less a good person break themselves. Unless that person was Logan, and that was no longer something Daken would take pleasure in. There was nothing about watching people take that step off the cliff which delighted him. Not anymore. Not when he was trying to claw his way back up said cliff himself.

Everyone took their seats, the music started, and then the last interesting thing happened. The bride appeared. As predicted Ororo outshone her, but Pryde did look lovely. She had a fresh beauty about her that was difficult to quantify or explain. Still, she looked happy. As she passed Daken he noted the scent did, once again, not match up. She was all nerves and frustration. Her eyes did not linger on her husband to be either. Daken looked forward and fiddled absently with Bobby’s hand on his left. On his right Gabby fiddled with his hand. Her quiet presence, and that of Laura nearby, combined with the warmth from Bobby soothed over his own nerves and Daken found that he was paying more attention to that then the ceremony.

Or so it was until a collective gasps sounded and he looked back at the couple just in time to see Pryde phase through the ground and leave her groom at the altar. For the span of three seconds Daken considered giving into the overwhelming urge to laugh but instead he just whispered, “That’s one way to stop a wedding.” In the same moment Piotr disappeared with Wagner and people started to talk around them.

“Oh god this is horrible.” Bobby shook his head.

Gabby shrugged, “Not really. She didn’t want to marry him, and he didn’t want to marry who she actually is. This is dramatic but it’s better than them getting married.”

“Gabby, what did I tell you about saying the things no one is saying?” Laura leaned over and looked at her sister with mock frustration. Even Laura couldn’t find it in herself to be upset at this turn of events.

“Does this mean we won’t eat cake? I was looking forward to delicious cake and copious amounts of liquor.” Daken was still biting back the laugh. It was just too much. Pryde had _phased through the ground_.

As if summoned by Daken’s question Remy stood up and called out over all the gossip and worry, “Let’s all of us move on to the reception. Regardless of what’s not happened here there’s a lot of food that don’t need to go bad and a band that’s been paid for the day.” There was a general mumure of agreement, though there was an air of hesitation. It seemed wrong to celebrate in the wake of what they had just witnessed. 

Bobby popped up, “Come on, let’s not make the day worse by wasting anything. Kitty’s a practical lady. She’ll approve of us making the best of things.”

“Remy and Bobby are correct.” Ororo added, having only been silent for so long on account of soothing Illyana, “Please, enjoy yourselves. Perhaps our missing friends will join us.”

~~~~~

**Saturday, 6.00PM**

“Considering the way you used to dress I wouldn’t have ever expected you in a suit like that Quire.” Hisako was standing straight, making the most of her height, while also looking quite relaxed in her pretty purple and blue dress. There was a subtle star motif in the fabric that was only visible in the right light, “You make pink look chic.”

Bobby looked over at his friend, curious how he would react to such a compliment. With Daken dancing with Gabby he was paying more attention to the people around him again. The Teen team was scattered about the room, all of them seeming to be having as good a time as possible at a failed wedding. Yana was quiet, not sullen but clearly not happy. Bobby was glad that she’d chose to stick close to them. He liked being able to look out for her.

“I’ve always had a style. It just used to be quite different.” Quentin shrugged, a faint hint of color in these pale cheeks. “Still, the award for best looking goes to Ororo tonight. And sadly Daken as far as people in suits go.”

“Daken just looks like a man in a suit. I think Laura is the best dressed not in a dress.” Hisako shrugged. “Are you going to dance with Jimmy when he gets done grabbing a bite with Logan?”

“Maybe.” Quentin shrugged, “More importantly, that was quite the queer statement there, dear. I mean, I agree, Laura rocks that look but I didn’t expect that from you …”

“I have eyes and she has legs for days. I am not sure how I could be expected to say anything else.” She sighed and shook her head, “I hope you do dance with Jimmy. I’d like a chance to talk to Logan myself.”

Bobby looked up from his cake and gave Hisako his full attention, “You need to air something with him?”

“I want to make sure he understands where I stand on the topic of mutant unity. With Summers alive again I think it’s important we start having these conversations. It doesn’t matter if they’re uncomfortable.”

“Oh fun times, heavy topics discussed on the failed wedding celebration. At least he can’t throw a fit and walk away without everyone seeing.” Quentin chuckled and sipped on his drink. A drink which was sadly not containing any alcohol because apparently he needed to be sober.

“That was my thinking.” Hisako nodded. “So if you end up separating Jimmy from Logan I would owe you a favor.”

“Why do you care so much if Jimmy is talking to Logan when you go over?” Yana spoke up for the first time in over a half hour, surprising everyone, including herself.

“This mess has nothing to do with him, at least not what I’m going to say to Logan. I do not want to have him feel caught in the middle of something, or obligated to step in.” 

Bobby nodded and took another bite of cake. It made perfect sense to him. Jimmy hadn’t lived through the post Utopia split, and good intentions or no, he didn’t really have the frame of reference to jump into a conversation on that point. 

“Logan seems to have made peace with Summers.” The observation came from Yana, who was finding herself interested in distraction.

“Yes, but the rift between himself and Kitty is growing.” Hisako answered and was pleased to see understanding dawn on more than one face. 

Gabby had found her next victim for a dance which freed Daken up to return to his _team_. Without a word he leaned in when Bobby was about to take another bite and just stole it right off the fork with a little grin. “Mmh, lemon hu? I didn’t expect that.” Chewing happily he added, “Daddy likes to make big stupid decisions but I doubt he’ll be causing another rift.”

“I hope you are correct. However, your father doesn’t seem to learn from his mistakes.” Her expression softened. “He’s been very kind to me, but I think it’s best to be honest about these sorts of things.”

It had taken Bobby from the moment Daken stole his bite to right then to catch up. This wasn’t the sort of thing he expected from Daken. Bobby got another piece of cake on the fork and offered it to Daken, “Here.”

It was in all that commotion that Jimmy rejoined their group, “Hey, before someone else asks, I was hoping you’d dance with me Pinkie.”

Daken took the offer without even contemplating what kind of image he was portraying by doing that. It didn’t matter, not really. No one here was going to look at him doing it and draw the right kind of conclusions, not with all these people being so _vanilla_.

“Oh.” Quentin had figured it would come to that eventually but he hoped that maybe he could skip the embarrassment. “I don’t know how to dance … but I can learn it from someone who does.”

“I don’t know either. I thought it was an excuse for me to put my hands on you.” Jimmy answered with a shrug.

Hisako laughed. “Gotta admire that honesty.”

Even Illyana smiled at Jimmy’s glibness. She liked seeing them together, liked seeing how easy they were with each other.

“Well, that is as good as reason to dance as I can imagine.” Putting his glass down he took Jimmy’s hand and tugged him along onto the dance floor. Any excuse to touch was a good thing.

“There goes my baby brother being all naughty.” Daken shook his head and then leaned in for another bite.

Bobby felt Illyana watching them and wondered what the look on her face was about. What Bobby cared most about at that moment was getting another bite of cake into Daken’s mouth. That and figuring out how to do what Jimmy had just done. _I wonder if that comes with being one of Logan’s brood? Plus five to asking people to be physical with you?_

“So, aren’t you going to ask me too Snowflake?” Giving Bobby a look Daken added, “Or maybe you don’t trust me with dancing … last time you froze me for being a bit flirty.”

The face Bobby made was the sort of thing out of an awkward comedy. He felt his features contorting into physical manifestations of discomfort and shame. The way he’d over reacted to Daken that night was something he would never let himself live down. He opened his mouth to speak but the sound of Illyana biting back a laugh stopped him. 

“I’ll just go stand over here with Rachel.” The words were light though there was still a shadow over her eyes. 

Bobby took a breath, closed his eyes for a moment, and then opened them, “That, right there. That’s why I haven’t asked. I want to but … past me sort of made this awkward for present me. Which is not great since every me is not near as smooth and cool as I like to pretend I am.”

Taking the plate he set it down on the table and then took Bobby’s hand to tug him onto the dance floor. “You won’t hurt me like that again. Not only am I no longer carrying a seed around with me, but you also know what kind of psychological damage it does. Forget what happened. It doesn’t matter. Only now matters.”

It was a lot. Daken had said a lot. What it boiled down to was two things. Daken forgave him and Daken trusted him. “Alright Kitten. It’s time for us to cut a rug.” _Not that I have any idea what the heck I’m doing._ Bobby looked around the dance floor, curious who was already dancing. Ororo and Jean looked to be having a very good time. Logan, Scott, Laura, and Hisako were talking just at the edge of the dancing, Illyana was talking to Rachel - _Wait … where’s Quen and Jimmy?_

Back in Greenwich Daken had naturally gone for leading, not even considering that Bobby probably didn't know how to be lead. With a smile he settled his hands in the 'female’ position and leaned close to whisper, “I hope you don't mind attention because everyone in the room is looking.”

“It's either going to freak me out or get me to do something stupid. That's how I deal.” It was hard to think about anything but Daken with him pressed so close. Bobby leaned in and let their cheeks rest against one another. Daken's skin was hot, and his breath rushed over his ear. “Can't blame them for staring. We look amazing.”

“You do.” Daken closed his eyes and just let the music and Bobby guide him. There were more people than he cared to count which he had danced with over the years but only one that ever mattered before now. This was more special though. This was him trusting Bobby completely and without hesitation. This was him saying; _You hurt me but I forgive you. I trust you not to do it again._

The hand at the small of Daken’s back was steady but the thumb moved in that same slow windshield wiper motion. Bobby kept his eyes open, but only to make sure they didn’t bump into someone. He wasn’t really looking at faces, or for people. If he had been paying attention Bobby might have noticed Zach leaving. He might have noticed Jean and Ororo nuzzling against each other while they danced. None of that mattered though. Daken was in his arms, they were moving to the music together. “Thank you. Not for the compliment, I mean yeah, yes that too.” Bobby kissed Daken’s cheek softly as he got himself back under control, “I mean, for this, for trusting me, thank you.”

“You earned it.” Perhaps some people would tell him not to forgive. Not the freezing on the dance floor and most certainly not the ice shuriken through his body or the forced kiss but Daken wasn’t listening. He didn’t want to listen because for once someone was genuinely sorry for hurting him and that was – it was delightful. Bobby had fucked up but Daken had also been set on killing him for a while so really, the past was the past. “Mmh, think my baby brother left to get laid ...”

“He better go slow with Quen. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s actually pretty sensitive. Also he’s really got it bad for Jimmy.” Talking like this, so private and intimate in a crowd of people was exciting. Bobby wondered if Daken was taking comfort in his scent, blending out the rest of the room with it. 

“Are you implying Quire’s a … well, inexperienced?” Daken had never liked the term _virgin_. There was a whole list of reasons for it and he didn’t want to think about any of them. Not when he was having this perfect moment with Bobby.

“Quen’s a young man who banks on everyone already hating him so he doesn’t have to try and get hurt.” Bobby sighed, “I think Jimmy’s a good guy. I just worry about Quen, especially tonight. I put him up to this.”

“He’s safe with Jimmy. I can promise that.” Daken said it easily and without a doubt in his mind that it was true. Though there was a chance ... “Well, assuming nothing world ending happens anyway.”

“A supervillain attack right now would just be funny. I think we’re all safe.” Bobby pulled back to look at Daken and smiled, “Hey, you, guy I’m dancing with. This is really nice.”

“It is.” Daken smiled and then leaned in, kissing Bobby softly. It had been waiting to happen all day and he was done avoiding it out of embarrassment. 

Very few of Bobby’s friends had seen him kiss a man. This had been something for the privacy of a closed room, or the first time with Judah, in a bar. Bobby made a soft sound of pleasure, almost humming with joy. It felt good, and it felt right, and Bobby was almost vibrating with the joy of it, a sort of euphoria was settling into his bones. _I love you Kitten._

Daken half expected someone to start clapping and he was sure that if Quire had still been around, it would’ve happen. With the pink evil gone though no one dared. They kissed and the music kept playing and most couples around them kept dancing. It was nice how this wasn’t actually a big deal to most people because it shouldn’t be. It was just a kiss. As they parted he smiled and whispered, “You taste of lemon cake, I approve.”

Rather than answer Bobby leaned in to put another light, short kiss on Danken’s lips. He was feeling lighter than air, and tingly. The fact that he looked completely smitten and almost drunk was lost on him. All Bobby knew was that he never wanted this moment to end. 

The obvious euphoria made him smile brightly and kiss Bobby’s cheek. It didn’t take much to know that Bobby was having a delighted moment over no one throwing a fit that they had kissed. Being accepted was a strong drug, maybe the best one. “You’re cute when you -” He stopped talking and turned his head, sniffing the air. There was a coppery tang to it which could only mean one thing. Daken met his father’s eyes and there was a short nod that confirmed his senses, “I think we might be getting our _world ending_ event after all – I smell blood.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here!**  
>  This is a monster of a chapter, one of the longest we've done. There's some good old check ins, banter, kisses, and surprises. I hope that we delivered on a much Queerer wedding special than X-Men Gold #30 gave us. I'd be be delighted to know what you think happened there at the end along with all your other thoughts, considerations, and predictions. Thank you all for reading!


	44. Chapter 44

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are some things Quentin is sure he should bring up before getting hot and heavy but goddamn he is twenty and Jimmy is hot and - all of his worries end up not mattering anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Sexual Content, Canon Typical Violence, Telepathy, Mind Control, Triggers, Brother vs Brother, Guilt, Self Blame, Kidnapping
> 
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**Saturday, 6.15PM**

The music was irrelevant. All the other people were totally beside the point. The only thing that mattered was Quentin and the early dip in daylight. Jimmy was almost overwhelmed by the scents and sounds, but Quentin’s presence in his mind, light and unintrusive, soothed him so that he almost couldn’t taste the darkening clouds. They moved to the music, pressed close to one another, swaying in such a way that it was unclear who was leading. The fact that they were in a large crowd did mean that Jimmy’s passionate and excited state was a bit embarrassing, but that didn’t stop either of them. Quentin was blushing, beautiful and turning him on like nothing else ever had. Not even Logan’s words of warning, given to him with stern words and a firm hand on the shoulder deterred Jimmy. The threat of the Phoenix was abstract and not something he hadn’t thought of. Either it would happen or it wouldn’t. Either it would be tragic or it wouldn't. Right now it didn’t matter. Not now, not with the way Quen was looking at him.

With his lips close to Quen’s ear Jimmy asked in a heated voice, “You wanna keep dancing here? Or maybe we find someplace less crowded …”

The words made his heart skip a beat and Quentin almost laughed. This was going too well. There was no chance that this could possibly keep up. Something terrible would happen if he said yes – like the Phoenix suddenly bursting in and taking him. Nothing ever worked out for him, not like this. _Stop being negative! Freaking Bobby is getting some and managing not to screw it up, so you can do that too. You’re only half as much of a fucking mess as Mister Look At How Straight I Am._ “Let’s sneak away, too much noise, too many people here.”

The delight Jimmy felt at those words boiled over into a few kisses against Quen’s cheeks and a tight squeeze. It only lasted a moment though, then he had their fingers locked and was weaving them through the crowd. It was far too loud, and the mood was odd. It seemed right to Jimmy that Pryde had left that guy at the altar though Jimmy couldn’t say why, and he didn’t care to keep rehashing it in his mind anymore. Being with Quen was far better than those nagging worries. It was starting to get dark and Jimmy wanted to be inside. 

"Huh," Quentin paused when he noticed the darkness outside which shouldn't have been just yet. It was the end of summer and days were long, nights were short. The sky above them was colored in a grayish blue hue instead of the bright blue he had expected or the first hints of sunset. "Looks like the idyllic summer evening is coming to an end."

“Yeah, good thing we’re heading back in. Doubt anyone in the pavilion has even noticed.” Jimmy shrugged and pulled Quentin forward. It was only when they’d made it back to Quen’s room that he smiled and relaxed. Jimmy stood facing Quen and ran his hands over the labels of the pink and white blazer, “I take it I’m not supposed to shred the suits?”

“Absolutely not. I want to keep mine to remember this night.” Smiling he reached up and started to tug on the knot of Jimmy’s tie, “So if you want to wear less clothes, you’ll have to undress the normal way.”

“If I don’t get my skin against yours I might die, so unless you wanna kick me out I think we’d better get with the stripping.” Jimmy reached for Quentin’s tie and started trying to undo it. 

“Can’t have that happen. Daken would kick my ass if you died on my watch.” Quentin chuckled, threw the tie aside and then started in with the jacket and the vest.

Jimmy’s attempts with Quentin’s tie took a bit longer, but he managed it and then went onto pushing off Quentin’s blazer. “I’d come back from the dead and stab him if he so much as looked at you funny.”

That drew a chuckle and he looked up at Jimmy with a smile, “Is that so? Let’s avoid brotherly violence if possible though.” His heart did a funny little thing for which there were no fitting descriptive words. Quentin was well aware that Daken and Jimmy had become quite close and knowing he ranked higher was better than, well, getting high.

They were down to their shirts, slacks, and shoes. Jimmy smiled and started to unbutton Quentin’s shirt. “Nothing I want tonight is violent.”

As the shirt came off Quentin nudged Jimmy to sit down on the bed and went on his knees to take these overpriced leather shoes off. “What _do_ you want tonight?”

The position was provocative. Quentin looking up at him like that, hair mussed, and eyes bright behind the simple silver frames. It was almost too much. “Want and what I should do are two different things.” Jimmy shook his head. “What do you want?”

“Everything.” Quentin made a soft sound of amusement as he stood back up and kicked his own shoes off. “All at once. But that’s not how this works and I’d probably regret it in the morning – the having rushed part at least. So … mh …” He pulled the belt off and dropped his pants, “Get naked, make out?”

“Yes.” Jimmy peeled his own shirt off and then laid back to get his belt and pants out of the way as quickly as possible. 

“I like your enthusiasm.” Quentin chuckled as he got onto the bed and leaned in for a kiss. _[Want me to draw back? Most people don’t like having their partner know every thought while they make out …]_

Though he had no idea what he was doing Jimmy tried to mentally grab hold of Quentin’s mind and keep it close. _[Stay. Stay with me. Always miss this feeling.]_

It made him smile into the kiss to be so welcomed and wanted. _[I’m here, not going anywhere if I can help it.]_ They were pressed close and Quentin realized just how small he felt in comparison to Jimmy. They were about the same height but completely different builds. He also realized that he _liked_ that.

Without a second thought Jimmy pressed their lips together and gave into another kiss as deep and needy as the one they’d shared just yesterday when they tried the suits on. All the skin to skin contact, and the warm presence of Quentin in his mind made him ache in the best possible ways. Jimmy moaned and ran his hands over the length of Quentin’s back, _[So good, feels so good Pinkie.]_

There were hands running over his skin and lips on his own and Quentin wasn’t sure he hadn’t died and gone to heaven. A part of him had accepted that he’d spend his life solo because really, who would be so stupid to date a future phoenix avatar? Who’d risk that kind of pain when there were a few billion other people to pick from? Apparently the answer was; One of Logan’s kids. And that shouldn’t have even been surprising. _[Still wearing too much, off with this.]_ He tugged on Jimmy’s shorts.

There was no resistance from Jimmy. He helped Quentin with them and then pressed close again, _[Love how you feel.]_

The only piece of fabric between them were his own shorts now. Quentin swallowed, feeling his nerves once more but stubbornly ignoring them. Instead of that he focused on the fact that there was a hard, hot cock rubbing against his thigh. It was possibly the single most exciting thing that had ever happened to him. _[Remind me again why I can’t just go down on you right now? Because I’m having a hard time remembering …]_

Those words birthed a swarm of confliction thoughts and desires in Jimmy. Quentin was there, in the center of it, and since Jimmy had little training it buffeted him full forced from all angles. Jimmy groaned and tried to get himself to resolve his contradicting feelings, but that was harder than he was. “Wanna be whole, wanna give you every part of me.”

That drew a sigh but not an annoyed one or anything, just the kind that said he wasn’t looking forward to working. The kind that said he would rather be continuing to make out, a lot. “Think you can stop kissing and touching for a bit and let me work?”

“Shit, was at least hoping to get you off grinding before I made you work.” Jimmy pulled one of Quentin’s hands to his lips and started kissing that gently. It didn’t stick to soft and sweet kisses for long. Jimmy moaned in his chest as his eyes fell shut. _[Can try. You smell better than … steak.]_

It made him chuckle and with a warm smile he sat up, “First work then fun, never been good at focusing after a good orgasm anyway so this works for me.” There was a naked, incredibly attractive man in his bed and here he was not sucking dick but instead reaching into that familiar, welcoming mind. This was definitely not how Quentin thought it would go when he finally did get someone naked in his bed. Then again, in his fantasies there was also never someone with him who made him feel this happy and excited.

Jimmy relaxed and let Quentin have his way. Waiting was not his favorite thing to do, but he had a pretty face to look at, and an intensely intimate sensation to enjoy as Quen moved deeper into his mind. He didn’t sit up, but instead turned so that his head was in Quen’s lap. _[Never gonna get tired of how good this feels.]_

Without hesitation Quentin’s hands went down into that thick, dirty blonde hair to play with it. This was the sort of intimacy he had never thought to find with anyone and yet here he was. His eyes closed and he focused on the task. They had done some work while apart, across continents, but even an omega level telepath couldn’t do everything with that much distance between them. Too risky. Now he had Jimmy with him and it would be much easier. _[Just relax … let me guide you back to your memories, step by step …]_

The sensation was odd. Not unpleasant, but not what Jimmy was used to. This was the first time Quentin was going deep into his mind since Miss Sinister had recaptured him. Jimmy felt himself drawn to that pain, and not further back. He tensed and shook his head, feeling the need to struggle. Not against Quentin but something else, an anger, a burning rage. 

_“NO!”_ Jimmy yowled as he tried to push it away, tried to disentangle himself. He sat up grabbed at his head in anguish. “You can’t make me!”

Quentin reacted instinctively, pulling up psychic barriers in Jimmy’s mind but whatever that shadow was he could feel, it didn’t seem held back by them. “Jimmy, Jimmy look at me!” Reaching out he cupped Jimmy’s face in his hands.

Dark hair, pale skin. Red hair, slender fingers. Knives in his mind. Shame, confusion, and sorrow choked Jimmy as he tried to find Quentin. _He was just here … just right here …_

_**\- I am going to kill the boy -** _

“NO!” Jimmy lashed out at her. “I won’t let you!”

Blinding hot pain. Quentin gasped, tasting blood on his tongue and feeling it drip from three puncture wounds right through his kidney, possibly the gallbladder. It was hard to think when everything was aflame with pain. Instinctively he switched off his own pain receptors and looked up at Jimmy who was not really looking back at him. The weight on top of him, the claws embedded in his flesh, that wild look in Jimmy’s eyes – _I triggered something that I wasn’t prepared for. What the hell did that bitch do while she had you again?_ The sudden urge to rip Miss Sinister’s mind apart into a billion tiny snippets of nothing rushed through him but Quentin knew he couldn’t find her, he had already tried more than once ever since hearing that she had dared to lay hands on what he considered his _again_.“J-Jimmy … look at me, please you gotta focus -”

Fear and shame came on the heels of clarity in Jimmy’s eyes almost instantly. He looked down at his hand, at the blood on his claws, and went pale. 

_**\- Just an animal. Look at what you’ve done. -** _

“Quentin … oh god help me.” He drew his hand back and tried to withdraw his claws but they wouldn’t obey him. Nauseating guilt boiled in his gut as he looked at the three puncture wounds. Jimmy shook his head and yowled again -

“Holy shit!” Zach had expected something kinky, or a movie. Not this, not Jimmy bare ass naked, kneeling on the bed over a nearly nude Quire with blood on his claws. Zach did the only thing he could, he amped Quentin up, and tried to handicap Jimmy.

_**\- Run! -** _

Jimmy shook his head but couldn’t stop, couldn’t think. His body moved and he felt like a passenger, sinking away till there was only the beast. The window pane was made of strong stuff, reinforced and bullet proof, but his metal coated claws shattered it. The shards sliced his arms and legs, but that didn’t matter, it didn’t matter that the wounds didn’t close, all that mattered was getting away, getting far, far away. _Quentin, oh god help me!_

 **“Stop!”** Was that his voice? Quentin wasn’t sure he had ever heard himself sound quite like that. _“Stop blocking him!”_ Quentin rolled off the bed, uncaring about the wounds since he couldn’t feel them and was holding back the flow of blood with telekinesis anyway. He had half a mind to go after Jimmy but that just might kill him and then no one would have gained anything. “ _Fuck_ , fuck!” Leaning heavily against the windowsill he tried to reach for Jimmy’s mind again but all he got was someone else, probably chick-sinister, pushing back against him and then static noise. It was like one moment he had held everything that Jimmy was in his hands and then it all turned to dust and he couldn’t even touch his mind anymore. 

“He’s too far. I can’t touch him anyway. I can try to boost you.” Zach looked around the room and tried to think about what to do with a bleeding mostly naked Quentin Quire. _The answer is in the bathroom if it’s anywhere._ Zach moved and kept his eyes peeled for a first aid kit. 

“I’m fine.” Quentin gritted his teeth, knowing that he needed to alert the rest of the school and further ruin the day. “I’m fine.” _I’m not fine. I let her take him right from under my nose!_

“You’ve got three holes that go directly through you, and you’re in your underwear.” Zach cursed under his breath, “You’re like that damn dog in the burning room with his stupid coffee.”

~~~~~

**Saturday, 6.30PM**

Cerebra. He should go down to the basement and try to reach Jimmy that way. There was no chance that the bitch was better than him with the backup of cerebra. He just needed to break her contact with Jimmy and then let everyone else handle getting him to come back. Just -

“Quire!”

Flinching he blinked and then realized that he was sitting on the floor and Daken was there, and Bobby, and a really upset Zachary. The last made sense but when had the lovebirds joined?

“Hey, hey focus!” Daken snapped and turned Quentin’s face towards him, “No passing out on us, stop trying to reach Jimmy. He is gone and you are bleeding out which you shouldn’t because you are freaking telekinetic and you people are supposed to be able to stop bleeding but apparently you want to die.”

“Oh fuck off.” Quentin pointlessly pushed at Daken’s shoulder only to give up and just try to not die.

“That’s better. Apparently my little brother knows exactly how to stab a kidney for maximum damage, who would have guessed.” Daken looked over his shoulder at Bobby as he continued to apply pressure, “This is one of these moments where I just want to know; Why the fuck is there no Mutant with healing powers around – get one. If Magneto can get ahold of Foley than someone here should too.”

Bobby met Daken’s gaze and put his phone back in his pocket. “Reyes is on her way up here. If we want Foley to show up our best bet is your sister.” Though his heart was threatening to choke him Bobby didn’t look at Quen, didn’t let himself freak out. “Zach, you go tell Laura what’s happened. Tell her -”

With a string of curses in a language no one in the room spoke Zach stood up and shook his head. “Yeah, and if you let him die Drake you’re never gonna touch your powers again.”

Daken couldn't help a chuckle at that even as he scooped up Quire and got him onto the bed. _Damn you're light. Too light for your size._ “Can you tell us what happened?” Keeping Quire talking meant keeping him awake and alive.

“My fault … should've listened to my gut. Knew it couldn't last, nothin’ good ever does …”

“Rachel and Jean are in Cerebra. Quen -” Bobby moved in closer and then squatted down next to the bed. It was frightening to look at all the blood, but he didn't shy away, not now, not when it was clear they had to get Quen to focus, “Help us, tell us what happened.”

Quentin blinked slowly and then swallowed before saying, “Sinister. She did something, set a trap - I walked right into it. Triggered something, made him freak out … he didn’t mean to hurt me. He’d never wanna hurt me …” There was a pause and then Quentin added, “He isn’t wearing clothes … we were … well …”

“So that’s better and worse than it could be.” Bobby reached up and smoothed some of Quen’s hair back. The wounds weren’t bleeding anymore. “Wait … he’s naked? Like birthday suit style?”

Quentin nodded and he was sure he would have blushed if he had enough blood left for such an action.

“Well,” Daken sighed, “Things just got a whole lot more interesting …”

With a sigh Bobby stroked Quen’s cheek and shook his head, “We’re gonna bring him home. Just stay with us Quen.”

~~~~~

**Saturday, 6.38PM**

Reyes had kicked them out the moment she saw the extent of the damage. Daken wasn’t surprised but it didn’t stop him from pacing in the hall as his mind ran through a series of possibilities. If Jimmy was being controlled than this wasn’t on him but his little brother would still drown himself in guilt because that was the kind of person he was. The faster they could find him, the less guilt there would be – at least he would be at Quire’s side and that would soothe some of it.

Daken stopped pacing and turned to look at Bobby, “I’m going after him.”

“Yeah I know.” Bobby pushed a hand back over his hair and met Daken’s eyes. “You can’t go by yourself though. Ideally I’d send Quire with you, but clearly that isn’t an option. I’ve got to stay here with him, so I’m out of the question. Yana is pretending to be alright but she’s actually a mess, and that just leaves the person I’d send with you anyway. Take Hisako. Nothing but adamantium can get through her armor, and she can expand it. Basically she’s impervious to Jimmy, even at his worst.”

“His metal isn’t actually Adamantium but you’re still right.” Daken sighed and then reached out, drawing Bobby into his arms and kissing his cheeks. “Quire is going to be okay, you know he will be. He’s too damn stubborn to die.”

“He’d reform. I’m sure he would. Maybe he’d be out a week while he did it.” Bobby shrugged while holding onto Daken. “Foley is going to show, Reyes will keep him stable. I’ll be here to keep him out of Cerebra till he’s healed. Logan’s already demanding to see him. I know he’s going to be alright.” Bobby licked his lips and stroked Daken’s cheek. “He’s not the one I’m worried about.”

“Jimmy is going to be fine too. Probably a little worse for wear but that’s how it is when you are part of my family.” Turning his head Daken kissed Bobby’s palm and then pulled back unwillingly. “I’ve got to change, not going to run after Jimmy in a three piece.”

 _Jimmy isn’t who I’m worried about either._ Bobby held onto Daken’s hand for a moment and tried to impart all his care, worry, and affection in that one moment. “Don’t be stupid. Come back.”

Daken looked back, paused and then smiled, “Nowhere else I would want to be.” With that he let go and went down the hall towards his room.

 _Failed weddings, mystery stabbings, brainwashing, runaway friend … just another Saturday, am I right?_ Bobby sighed and went back to pacing, waiting for Foley to show up.

~~~~~

**Saturday, 9.30PM**

The air was hot, and the stars were visible through cracks in the angry clouds. Hisako had grown used to living in the city and didn’t realize that there was something missing in the night sky outside her bedroom window till she was here. It was an odd incongruous thought. They were across the Hudson, in New Jersey, about an hour’s drive from the school. For them the trip had been longer than that. Daken had to catch wind of Jimmy to track him, and Jimmy was on foot, naked, and on foot. If they’d driven flat out they wouldn’t have found him, rather they would have gone past him and lost his trail all together. Hisako didn’t particularly want to know how the river crossing had gone for Jimmy. She hoped that he had found pants somewhere in one of the many yards he would have crossed. Daken pulled over, and Hisako did the same. Their bikes were sleek and black with yellow ‘X’s on them, and the ability to hover over water. The half hour Daken had spent trying to find Jimmy’s trail had been less pleasant. Now they were standing at the edge of a state park, a highway at their backs. Hisako took off her helmet and looked at Daken, the stars forgotten now that her feet were on the ground again. 

“I want you to stay back.” Daken put the helmet on the handle of the bike and turned to look at Hisako, “Bobby says to take you along, so I do because he runs this show, but I don’t think you should intervene unless absolutely necessary. Any feral in fight or flight mode is twice as dangerous as we already are under normal circumstances.”

For a moment Hisako just looked at him. “Logan Howlett is my mentor. I know about the dangers of feral mutants.” She pushed her hands up to ensure that her hair was firmly held back and then motioned at the trees. “Lead on.”

“Is there any young, female mutant who hasn’t been raised by my useless Father?” Daken sighed and then just turned, following the scent of his brother. _Come on, Jimmy. Let us take you home …_ Just as the thought passed through his mind he heard the faintest of rustling and barely had the time to unsheath his blade and block the attack. Jimmy had taken up a spot in the trees above them and he had walked right into that trap. _Worry makes me stupid, good to know that._

Hisako had time to duck behind a tree as the two clashed. They were of a height but their builds were different. Daken was broad in the shoulders, but the rest of him was the body of a dancer or a swimmer. Jimmy was hard muscle, like a bear. The inch Jimmy lacked on Daken hardly seemed to matter now, less so than the torn brown pants he’d found somewhere along the way. She watched as Jimmy made to stomp on Daken’s feet, to twist away, to strike him by any means, and saw what was essentially an enraged Wolverine. A sight she was all too familiar with.

Daken gritted his teeth as he felt himself pushed back slowly. Jimmy had a strength advantage over him which he already knew from several training sessions. It reminded him a great deal of Logan but minus the added two hundred pounds of adamantium that made Logan slow. “Why hello there, little brother. It’s good to see you too.” Allowing himself to be pushed back he dropped the blade in favor of striking with his claws. There was no way they’d get Jimmy back without some fighting.

A deft dodge and snarl latter Jimmy was bloody but not down, not slower, and not any less pissed off. He wasn’t a mindless zombie either. It was clear that there was a thinking mind within that rage. Another snarl erupted out of Jimmy as he lunged for Daken’s throat. 

With gritted teeth he blocked, feeling the vibrations of force throughout his entire arm all the way up to his shoulders. Unfair metal coating, much like Logan as well. _So much more our father’s son than I’ll ever be._ They both drew back and started to circle each other. Daken used the chance to kick up the blade from the ground back into his hand. The adamantium was more fit to take the brute force than his claws were. “I know you are in there. Whatever is going on, we can fix this Jimmy – but you need to come back.”

There was a flicker of emotion over Jimmy’s face. Hisako watched as he hesitated, as his circling motion faltered. 

“Run.” The word rumbled from Jimmy’s lips.

It didn’t last, she saw the suffocating mask of rage slide back over Jimmy’s features. Hisako moved then, took up position behind another tree, and listened for additional attackers as Jimmy growled.

There was barely time to draw breath before Jimmy lunged again, this one away from Daken. Jimmy’s foot made contact with a nearby tree. It served as pivot point and push off. Jimmy turned, claws out and dove at Daken with a full foot of air beneath his feet.

Daken was ready to block when his attention was drawn by a sound, _A helicopter?_ “Fuck!” Jimmy managed to unbalance him in that second of distraction and the sword slid across the ground as he was pinned down with three claws embedded in his shoulder. Muscles tore, blood dripped and his mind was still running a mile a minute with questions and confusion. What the hell did Miss Sinister want with Jimmy so badly she was going through this amount of trouble? Why would she risk bringing the entire force of the X-Men, including a family of pissed off ferals, down on herself? _Stop thinking, act. He is going to take your arm if you don’t fight back!_

It was clear to Hisako that if she didn’t act Daken would be missing an arm at best. She ran forward even as a blinding spotlight illuminated the brother’s fight in the darkness. The smell of copper was heavy in the air, even to her nose. Rather than pull Jimmy off, a feat she was not strong enough to achieve without doing harm to Jimmy, Hisako grabbed the sword and then wedged herself between the two men. The sword point was aimed at Jimmy’s lower abdomen and groin, held in a two fisted diagonal line of threat. Her armor was there, keeping Jimmy from biting her face off. With a great deal of concentration, and the thought of how her mentor’s heart would break if his son’s did each other any real harm, Hisako caused her armor to expand. It pushed Jimmy back, pushed the claws out of Daken’s shoulder. 

_**“Veni canem!”**_

The words cut through the night, a woman’s voice, demanding and dark as the space between stars. A look of fear and dread took Jimmy as he fell back, away from Daken and Hisako. He stumbled backwards, and for just an instant it looked as though he would not turn, would not obey. That moment past and Jimmy turned from them. He began to leap up into the trees, climbing towards the low flying helicopter with it’s fluttering ladder.

That voice. That scent. These words. Daken felt a wave of nausea hit him even as he got to his feet, eyes watching the helicopter hover. Jimmy looked down on them and Daken caught the sight of red hair before his brother turned and closed the door. Red hair? That scent mixed with a female voice and red hair? Why did that seem important? Why couldn’t he remember the reason for it? Why did his throat feel dry and wouldn’t work? _Red hair. The scent of flowers and blood. Red hair ..._

 _< I curse all red headed women to lay with goats and sheep for twenty life times! She should shove that helicopter up her cunt sideways! I hope the blades cut her in half!  >_ Hisako cursed loudly in Japanese with the sword hilt held in a white knuckle grip. Her armor was gone now, but so was Jimmy. 

“Such language.” Daken took the sword from her, snapped back into reality by her loud and colorful cursing, and put it back into the sheath on his right side. “Come on, there’s nothing we can do now. Let’s go back. Jimmy will handle a few hours of whatever while we figure out how to track him.”

Though Daken was correct she turned to look at him with his blue eyes and enigmatic expression. They were Logan’s eyes set in the face of some handsome prince. It was always disconcerting to her. Jimmy was gone. They’d tracked him all the way to this state park only to lose him. “We should check in. Drake was expecting to hear from us.”

Rolling his eyes he pulled out his phone and sent a short text to Bobby before gesturing, “There, now come on. I’m entirely done being out here.”

> **D -** Failed. They took him. Don’t ask who *they* are, I don’t know. Coming back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translation:** "Veni canem" = "Come dog"
> 
>  **Hello all, Nausi here!**  
>  This chapter returns us to some drama. If anyone needs some inside information because waiting stresses them out just hit either Finn or myself up, our tumblrs are linked at the start of the chapters. If you aren’t a tumblr person leave a comment and we can work out other ways to talk.
> 
> As always we’re excited to hear from you. We’ve had a few people pick up the story and start commenting as they shotgun chapters. It’s a positive delight to get those alerts and to revisit the story with you. All comments left in good faith are welcomed at any time. Please keep the questions, predictions, and requests coming. Thank you for reading!


	45. Chapter 45

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jimmy is gone. Quentin is injured. Josh is on the way. And Daken just needs a goddamn break from reality. The implications of that scent, of the entire situation, weigh on him heavily but unlike any other time the world decided to shit on him - he isn’t alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Relationship Building, Hurt  & Comfort, Intimacy, Sexual Themes, Masturbation, Sexual Identity Issues, Questioning, BDSM Undertones, Explicit Sexual Content

**Saturday**

The water ran down the drain colored a faint red like countless times before. Daken stood there under the hot stream and let it wash away the last bit of evidence that he’d been hurt. The cuts had healed in minutes but the blood stayed through the drive back, the ‘mission briefing’ and that pointless talk about what to do next. Next. Like that was such an easy thing to decide on. They had no idea where Jimmy even went and Daken had kept quiet on what he had smelled and seen. For a brief moment he had considered to explain but his throat closed up at the idea and so he said nothing. That scent was almost identical to Romulus. A hint sweeter, less musky but **his** anyway. _What does that mean? He can’t be out of prison, can he?_ Pushing his hands through his hair he chuckled bitterly. Of course he could be free. As if any organization would admit a prison break of a criminal who didn’t even exist from a prison which also didn’t exist – officially. Or maybe he was never there to begin with and it was all just a big joke. It was a possibility. Romulus had his hands in everything and who was to say he didn’t pull the strings behind a government run prison? Daken wouldn’t call it impossible.

Spending a good fifty years around Romulus, watching the way his so called empire worked and how he operated meant that Daken was fully aware of the fact that there was nothing for that monster which was _impossible_. Romulus liked to describe himself as a _God_ and every now and then a small part of him liked to point out that it made odd sense. Considering that Thor, Loki and other such _Gods_ casually strolled around earth … being a nonbeliever wasn’t easy. It was just that accepting Romulus as a God meant accepting that there likely was no way to kill him. None whatsoever and _that_ was terrifying.

“Kitten?” Bobby’s voice drifted in over the sound of the steady pitter-patter noise of the running water. “Kitten? You can hear me right?” It drew nearer but did not enter the bathroom. Daken turned his head, listened and contemplated whether or not he should answer before saying, “Get in here if you want something from me.”

Bobby stepped into the bathroom and looked into the small shower stall. “You said you would meet me in my room, but … Kitten it’s been over an hour.”

Daken looked over his shoulder and made a soft sound, “No clock in the shower.”

There was no doubt that Daken was gorgeous. There was no way not to see it with the water and the naked, and the looking over his shoulder. Still Bobby held himself in check. “Yeah, I’m not mad I just … I wanted to see you.”

“Join me then.” Daken didn’t even think about it, he just said it.

Rather than second guess or question Bobby started to strip. It wasn’t till he was in underwear that Bobby realized what he was doing, but by then it was too late. He was suddenly quite glad that he’d changed out of his suit while Daken and Hisako had been gone. This wasn’t normal. Daken never showered with people, not that Bobby had witnessed. It was the one part of team bonding that he routinely skipped out on. Bobby licked his lips and pushed his shorts down. He climbed into the shower silently. It was at that point which Bobby felt a little embarrassed, this was incredibly intimate and Bobby wasn’t sure he was making the right choice. “Uh, hi.”

“Hi.” Daken turned to look at Bobby and there was something curious in his gaze. This was not the first time that he was seeing Bobby naked but it was the first time they were both naked and in quite a small space together. As much as he tried to be social with the team, he had never felt comfortable enough to join them in the community showers after training. It wasn’t that naked people bothered him or that being seen naked was a problem, it was more that he didn’t feel comfortable in that far too relaxed atmosphere. That in itself certainly was odd, one would think that relaxed was good, but the idea of anyone coming too close kept him excusing himself and going off to shower in the privacy of his own space. This was different. It was just them and Daken couldn’t say he would mind getting as close to Bobby as physically possible – short of sex. “I don’t think these showers were meant for two people.” Chuckling softly he reached out, arms going around Bobby’s waist. “Makes me miss Los Angeles a little.”

“Yeah, the school is cramped.” Bobby put his arm around Daken’s shoulders and leaned in. To his relief there was no crazy sexual energy. Daken was breathtakingly beautiful, like something out of a dream, but he was always that. In place of that tension was a need to be close and to give comfort. “I like LA.”

“I know with being in Central Park now the whole space thing is a problem but really … why are we even here? There was so much more space at the old location from what I could tell the one time I was there anyway. Could’ve had a second building just for staff …”

“All those logistical issues are over my pay grade. I think this had to do with trying to integrate. To be part of society instead of seperate from it.” Bobby leaned in and kissed Daken’s cheek softly. 

As expected it was a great comfort to be close and feel that warmth. Daken still felt the darkness lingering but he could focus on Bobby to ignore it. To keep his mind from wandering down that road too far. “Screw that. People are horrible. I need a bathroom the size of normal people’s living rooms damn it!”

“Ha! Really? Is that what your place is like?” His fingers started to play with the river of sodden raven black hair. It was silky and warm from the shower. 

“Mmh, yeah. Got the entire upper floor of an apartment complex to myself. Ceiling high windows, open plan, a balcony which is really more a front porch and even a pool. And now I’m all cramped into this tiny room and surrounded by noise and scent all the time.” Pouting he leaned into the touch, soaking up how gentle and careful Bobby was with him. It was incredibly soothing.

“I’m sorry.” Bobby nuzzled in against Daken’s cheek and felt their knees touch. “That sounds amazing. You could be back there, but I keep pulling you back into this mess.”

“I prefer being wherever you are to big, spacious showers.” With a small smile he leaned in to kiss Bobby, savoring the moment and the easiness between them. No one had ever shared a shower with him like this and not almost immediately demanded something from him. Bobby wasn’t asking for anything. It was odd but in the best way.

It was only after they took a breath that Bobby had time to realize what was going on. He stroked Daken’s cheek and gave him another soft kiss. _I love you._ “I could kiss you for hours.”

“I know … you’ve been quite enthusiastic about it.” Daken chuckled and then added, “If you want me out of the shower, you’ll have to do my hair because I’m a spoiled brat.”

“You want me to wash it?” Bobby gave Daken a look, “You’ve been in here this entire time and you haven’t washed your hair?” He rolled his eyes and reached for the shampoo, “Silly Kitten.”

“I’ve been contemplating the meaning of life!” Daken turned and hid a smile. Bobby just kept calling him ‘kitten’ as long as they weren’t on a mission. It was cute and stupid, and it kept making Daken wonder if perhaps he should tell Bobby his given name to take the discomfort of using a slur out of the way. Maybe in a little while. Daken kinda liked the pet name.

“You were not.” Bobby started to massage the shampoo into Daken’s hair. It was a pleasant thing to do. _I’m sorry Jimmy got away. I’m sorry this whole thing is a mess. I’m going to take care of you, I promise._

“Fine, I wasn’t contemplating life. I was …” Daken thought for a moment and then said, casually, “Masturbating.” The hands in his hair felt good and he could have melted into a little puddle of goo right then and there. Bobby was good at this, at making all the tension just leave him.

If Daken wanted to distract him and get a rise out of him, that had certainly worked. The idea of Daken in the shower pleasuring himself was entirely too perfect. Bobby kissed his shoulder and then started to rinse that long dark hair, “Sorry for cockblocking you.” 

“Oh how will I ever survive now …” Daken couldn’t help himself, he just had to chuckle at his own stupid joke. “Come on, Snowflake. You know I wasn’t doing that. The shower is the last place where I’d bother with it. Comfort is top priority. If I was going to, I’d lie down and enjoy it properly.”

“Guess I’ve just got a dirty mind. Shower’s my second favorite place.” Bobby shrugged and got the conditioner. 

“I know.” Daken could basically feel the confused, questioning look even with his back turned towards Bobby, and it made him smile, “Why surprised? I can _smell_ it, Bobby. I know when you … had fun.” It was scent so familiar and so different at the same time. There was something about it which enticed him and made him want to find a way to put it in a bottle and keep it around forever.

Those words caused him to slow down and ask in a voice that showed far more worry than he wanted, “Does it bother you?”

“No.” He said it easily and looked back to give Bobby a smile, “It surprised me the first time but it’s a nice scent and you’re more relaxed and comfortable with me when you don’t worry you might get turned on. So, I’m all for you having a good time whenever you feel the need.”

“I think about you. Is that alright?” Bobby had wanted to ask before, but hadn’t known how to bring it up. Now seemed like a rare opportunity. 

Turning around he wrapped his arms around Bobby again and kissed him softly before whispering, “Yes. I’d be worried if my boyfriend thought of someone else. Is fantasy me having fun too?” Daken was curious to know, to understand, what it was that turned Bobby on and if it involved him enjoying himself genuinely. 

“Yeah.” Bobby swallowed and looked into Daken’s eyes, “It’s a lot of making out and mutual touching. Mostly I kiss on you, like all over you, there’s lots of me sweet talking you, like praising and stuff like that. You tend to have a really, really good time, and enjoy all of the stupid corny things I say to you.”

That made him cock his head, a curious expression in these blue eyes, “Praising? Whatever would you praise someone for during sex? ‘specially if all that’s happening is touching …” It was not that the concept was foreign, it was more that he didn’t expect someone to get off on praising. Especially in such a simple, almost too plain setting.

Bobby blushed and first rinsed Daken's hair before answering. “Well when you moan or tell me what you want, or tell me to stop or slow down …” It was clear that Bobby was deeply embarrassed. His words trailed off and he just looked at Daken helplessly, “... stuff.”

Daken blinked a few times as he tried to process that. It sounded like - “Oh.” He cocked his head, “Well color me surprised …” Without any further explanation he reached for the shampoo and started to work it into Bobby’s hair this time. _He would make the best boyfriend to someone less damaged and less complicated. Praise kink … giving praise specifically. You do keep on surprising me ..._

There was silence for several minutes. Bobby was worried, but not tense. Daken’s fingers, the way they worked the shampoo through his thick hair, the fact that they were still touching, it made tensing up impossible. However, Bobby wasn’t so sure about that reaction. “So uh … is that good surprised or bad surprised?”

“Mmh, I’d say an amused surprise. It’s _almost_ a crime that I’m dating you and not letting you find a cute boyfriend to dote on.” His hands were sure but gentle and he was enjoying the feeling of these thick curls. Bobby was ten times as attractive with them than he had been with the short, boring hairstyle.

“I have a gorgeous, intelligent boyfriend who I adore and dote on as much as circumstances allow.” Bobby caught one of Daken’s hands and kissed the inside of his wrist. “We haven’t been together very long, and today turned out to be a crazy horrible rollercoaster, but I’m happy that at the end I get to be here, with you.”

“It’s adorable how clueless you are about being the type of guy that a lot of others guys would be delighted to date.” Daken leaned in and kissed Bobby, much less sweet about it then before. _You’d make some needy boy really happy … but I’m not letting you go. Not yet. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Not **ever**. I can’t give this up, not as long as you want me._

Though Bobby would have loved to give in he put his hands on Daken’s shoulders and made sure there were a few inches between them as they kissed. There was no getting around the fact that this aroused him noticeably. Bobby was sure Daken knew that would be the result, but given the fact that they were nude Bobby didn’t want to repeat the awkwardness of the first night when he’d gotten a little over enthusiastic. Even with these distractions Bobby enjoyed the kiss thoroughly. He moaned and met Daken, passion for passion, and did not hold back his demanding nippiness.

The scent change told him everything he needed to know even if he hadn’t figured on Bobby becoming aroused. As they parted for air he nuzzled in and whispered, “You smell amazing like this … always do but this is special. Different … exciting.”

Bobby licked his lips and let himself shiver. Daken’s breath was cool against his skin, heated by the shower. It was incredibly erotic. Still he maintained the distance between their bodies from the navel down. “Thanks, it’s just for you.”

The urge to reach down was nearly choking him. It would be so easy to wrap his hand around Bobby’s cock and just go through the motions, make Bobby shiver for him. Daken couldn’t even tell if this was an ingrained response or actual need though and he wouldn’t do that to Bobby. He wouldn’t turn what they had bitter by soiling it with questionable consent. Instead he just kissed his way down Bobby’s neck and then asked softly, “Want a moment alone? I don’t mind … just come cuddle with me afterwards and I’ll be happy and content.”

With a nod Bobby asked, “Can I ask you a favor?” His voice was breathy, it was clear he was feeling that same almost irresistible draw.

“Yes, always.” Part of him wanted to stay, keep kissing and being close while Bobby did what he clearly needed. It felt like they’d be crossing some line with that though, one he couldn’t go back on afterwards and that was a frightening thought. This was too new, too precious to ruin like that.

“Will you say … say ‘Bobby I want you’?” It was stupid, and Bobby felt more than a little dumb, but the chance to hear Daken say those words, even if it was just to satisfy his fantasy was too tempting to forgo.

That drew a soft chuckle and he kissed Bobby again, letting their bodies press together fully as he did it. The feeling of that hard cock sent a shiver down his spine but didn’t make him want to run _or_ drop on his knees and beg. _Still in control. Good._ As he drew back Daken whispered, voice deep and low, “I do … I want you, Bobby.” Looking into these blue eyes for a second he pulled away and left the shower to head into the bedroom.

To his credit Bobby waited till Daken left to touch himself, and then it was just to cup his balls and play over the sound of Daken’s voice in his mind. The way his name had sounded, the look in Daken’s eyes, the pressed of his skin, it was all incredible, better than his imagination. Bobby wondered if Daken would be listening to him, sniffing for him, and decided to believe he was. The thought of that sent a thrill through him, and Bobby finally pushed his back against the tile and wrapped his hand around his cock, “Oh god Kitten, you are so good for me.”

Daken leaned against the door and listened closely. It crossed his mind that this wasn’t right, that he shouldn’t be doing it but he didn’t care. Bobby had been sweet and considerate, and he had smelled so good. It nudged at a part of him that Daken had thought was dead and gone, ruined permanently by too much misuse. Glancing down at himself he chuckled soundlessly, “Well, fuck …”

“You feel so good like that.” Bobby gasped as he tried to hold himself the way he imagined Daken would, tried to tease and use skills he didn’t have. In the end it worked because fooling himself was something Bobby was an expert at, and he was so keyed up and primed for this. It wouldn’t have surprised him if Daken was on the other side of the door listening. There had been something about that last embrace, the look on Daken’s face, the conviction in his voice. _You do want me._ “Yes, not too fast, just like that.”

It was clear from the things he could hear that Bobby was a bit of a talker and somehow that thought aroused him further. Silence was stupid. Might as well fuck a doll if that was what turned you on, less work. “Bobby …” Sighing at himself he took a deep breath and then just continued to listen. The thought of jerking off was there but he didn’t think he could manage to finish, especially not in time.

There were no more words, Bobby was too far in his own head, too close, too desperate. Right in that moment before he came, when he was imagining kissing Daken while they stoked their pleasure together, all the frustration and fear of the day rose up in him. It was a maddening sensation, but in spite of it, or perhaps because of it Bobby found himself shooting his cum in thick ropes all over the floor of the shower. It was quickly rinsed away, but the waves of euphoria were not. As soon as Bobby finished, before the pleasure stopped he turned off the water and toweled himself off hastily. He wanted to touch Daken, kiss Daken, look at Daken. He wanted it right then. 

Swallowing thickly he pushed away from the door, dropped the towel and quickly put on a pair of underwear. It did nothing to hide his half flag but he could hope it would go down before Bobby came to cuddle him. Getting into the bed he grabbed his book and tried to look like he had totally not been listening and was completely focused on the book.

There was some disappointment when Bobby opened the door and there was no Daken there waiting for him. Then he looked over and saw him in the bed making a _‘I’m totally reading’_ face, and Bobby couldn’t help smiling. “Do you have something I can borrow?”

“Pick whatever. I already stole like three of your sweaters so fair is fair.” Daken did not look because he knew he would blush and die of embarrassment if he did.

“Okay.” Bobby threw the towel aside and went for Daken’s underwear drawer. He saw mostly black, there was some grey, a few red pairs, and a few blue. Bobby grabbed one of the latter and slipped them on. They were a bit tight but made out of very soft and forgiving fabric. He liked the support of them, and he was pretty sure that with the way they rode so low on his hips that he looked like a sexy underwear model. On his way to the bed he asked, “So to be clear, I’m staying the night right?”

“Yes you are. Unless you want me to come along and sleep in your bed again.” Arching a brow Daken looked up, a faint hint of color on his cheeks.

Bobby smiled, got into the bed, and pushed up close to Daken. The waves of afterglow had ended, but there was a satisfied languor in his bones, and a guilty relief. It hadn’t been his love that had been brainwashed, not his boyfriend who went missing. Daken was here, he was whole and safe and blushing. Bobby felt bad for Quen, for Jimmy. He was livid at the thought of what had been done to Daken’s brother, but there was only so long that he could sustain that emotion. With no clues, no leads, all they could do was lick their wounds and get some rest. “You’ve got the good blankets, no reason to move to my room.”

Without thinking he cuddled close and put the book aside. “I feel almost like a broken record saying this but I just sleep a million times better with you close to me.”

“You're the only person I've ever enjoyed sharing a bed with.” Bobby pulled Daken in against himself and kissed his brow. “We're going to need our rest too. I swear to you, this takes top priority. We're going to find Jimmy.”

“I know.” Daken kissed Bobby’s cheek and nodded, “I know we will. He’ll be okay … he _is_ my little brother after all. Hard to kill.”

“I’m glad you’re easier to comfort than Micro Frosty.” Bobby nuzzled against Daken’s neck and closed his eyes. “The whole teen squad is freaking out. I almost wish Magneto would come and take them home. Almost.”

“Hell no, the tiny ones are staying. Nothing against Magneto in general but he was being … odd and mildly creepy while I was in Madripoor with Team Blue. They are staying.”

“Ha! You try getting them to do anything!” Bobby opened his eyes again, “You have no idea how stubborn I was at that age. All five of us were like that. There was only one person who could cow us, and Xavier even had trouble reining us in.”

“You underestimate me.” Fluffing Bobby’s hair he smiled, eyes full of mischief, “You’ll see. Now shh, sleep.” _I love you. Fuck, I **love** you._

* * *

**Sunday**

It was around seven when Daken woke up, warm arms wrapped around him and a familiar body pressed to his back. That was something he had come to savor in the early hours of the day. The feeling of being so sheltered and secure. This morning there was something which distracted him from the comfort though. Something aching and annoying. With a frustrated sigh he had untangled himself, gave Bobby a pillow to hug and then snuck into the bathroom.

With his back pressed against the door he glanced down and sighed heavily. _Really? Like really?_ It was not that he never woke up with an erection or that he was completely unaffected by everything, no. It was more that he had become used to erections _not_ being accompanied with actual want. This was not just a simple body function that he could take care of without paying attention and then he’d not have to deal with it for a few months. This was the thought of Bobby looking at him with that fire in his eyes, asking him to say simple words and then – _Fuck me sideways. I have a sex drive. Ha!_ There was an actual chuckle, a bit hysterical maybe, and he pushed both hands through his hair. What was he supposed to do with that? Was it real or was he trained so well he was instinctively answering Bobby’s want with need? How the hell was he supposed to figure out which one it was?

_< I hate sex. Too complicated.  > _Daken grumbled in frustration and then he pushed his shorts down just enough to grasp his own cock. _Stupid Bobby, stupid sexy Bobby._

Yesterday they’d woken up in separate beds and made themselves up for a wedding that would never happen. Today they woke up in the same bed, or Daken had. Bobby was alone, and for a brief moment he wondered, but then he heard motion in the bathroom and relaxed. There was always the chance that Daken would run off to ‘fix’ what had happened alone. Bobby wasn’t sure that Daken had shared everything. He had this feeling that something was being held back, but he wasn’t sure, and even if Daken shared Bobby wasn’t sure that he’d be able to make anything of it. If Daken had a clear lead they would be following it. Bobby pinched the bridge of his nose and let out a long breath. “Oh what a day.”

His eyes opened at the sound of Bobby shifting in bed and even talking to himself. Daken panted and tried not to imagine that Bobby could hear him, there was no way right? Then again the walls in this school seemed to be made of paper. _Fuck, your little brother is gone and you’re in your damn bathroom trying to masturbate because your boyfriend is cute. What the hell is wrong with you?_ Daken bit back a laugh and tipped his head back against the door as his hand sped up. _What the hell **isn’t** wrong with me?_

“Mmm.” Bobby rolled around till he was wrapped up tight in the red blanket. It was soft against his skin. Not quite as soft as whatever Daken’s underwear were made of though. Bobby reached down and ran his hand over himself and smiled. He was half hard, as was the case most mornings. “Mmm.” The thought of jerking off in Daken’s bed occurred to him and made him blush, but Bobby kept his hands on the outside of the underwear. _I bet he’s shaving. Daken’s always so clean and sharp._

With a frustrated groan Daken closed his eyes again and gripped himself a little firmer, trying to focus on the shivers of pleasure but it was all just so – mechanical. It wasn’t getting him anywhere and if he just kept going he’d be stuck in the bathroom for hours. That would make for a funny conversation with Bobby. _What were you doing in there? Oh nothing, just trying to jerk off and getting nowhere._

“Kitten!” Bobby called out, hand still exploring, “I miss you!” _Can you smell that I’m horny in there? I hope not. Well unless you like it, then I hope you can._

The call made him nearly lose rhythm but then he smelled it. Arousal. Bobby’s arousal. Biting his lip he tried to focus on that, tried to imagine how beautiful Bobby would look coming apart - “ _Fuck_.” He was suddenly close, really close, but as always there seemed to be something holding him back from crossing that line.

“Come on! It’s too early to be making yourself perfect and beautiful. Come, come back to me Kitten!” 

Daken barely even heard the rest of the words. All that mattered was Bobby telling him to _come_. That did the trick and left him shaking and holding onto the sink to not end on the floor. The orgasm had been better than any other one he could remember happening out of free will. After a few seconds he managed to pull his shorts back on, wash his hands and then just head back into the bedroom. It would be very obvious that he had not been shaving or anything like that. Instead of saying anything Daken just crawled back under the covers and cuddled close.

“Kitten are you okay?” Bobby pulled his boyfriend close and kissed his brow. “You’re flushed and jittery.” 

Nodding he nuzzled close and tried not to feel so embarrassed and guilty. Bobby was his boyfriend. Not his owner. Not his _Master_. He didn’t have to ask permission to get off. _Except I kinda do but not the way I had to with **him.** _

“Here.” Bobby kissed down Daken’s neck and over his shoulder. “I have you. Mmm love kissing on you.” 

“Feels good, keep doing that.” He sighed happily and then added, “Don’t wanna get up yet. Can we sleep in?” Being held and kissed on was soothing and very welcome after that orgasm he’d just had. Daken had always liked the after more than the act itself.

The way Daken relaxed soothed Bobby, “Yes.” He smiled and kept kissing on Daken. “Yes. Let’s stay in bed and just be close. Let the rest of the world burn for a little longer.”

For a while all they did was lie in bed and kiss on each other, savoring the tender moment. Daken soaked it up and let it sooth the demons in his head until they went quiet. Eventually he felt the need to say _something_ though and the words that came were, “I jerked off.”

At first the words meant nothing, then they were understood, and then the full meaning of it sunk in,“Oh shoot!” Bobby winced at how loudly he’d exclaimed and tried to modulate his tone and volume. Both surprise and guilt road on his face on his face, “I yelled at you, oh man, I’m sorry I interrupted!”

Shaking his head he felt the heat in his cheeks but tried to ignore it, “No, I - … I wasn’t getting anywhere until you … well, said to _come_.” Daken hoped he didn’t have to explain that one because it would take a lot of time and effort to make sense of the twisted way he had been groomed.

That took the guilt away and left only surprise. Bobby looked at Daken and tried to figure out what to say. After a moment of silence he asked, “Did it feel good?”

Nodding slowly he looked down and chuckled, “Better than expected.”

“You’re smiling, and blushing and I’m feeling a little full of myself.” Bobby nuzzled in and kissed Daken’s cheek. “Maybe I’m weird but this feels really romantic.”

“I’m not really sure what to do with this. I haven’t … It’s been years since I did that because I was turned on. Usually it’s a matter of cold showers not working anymore and just getting it done. This was … different.”

“You don’t have to know what it is or what to do with it right now. We don’t need to change anything or do anything.” Bobby smiled and stroked Daken’s cheek. “It felt good, you liked it. I got to help a little, and I’m happy. Let’s not over think things.”

With a soft expression he nuzzled into the touch and kissed Bobby’s palm, “I don’t deserve you.”

“I don’t think love is about deserving.” Quickly, before anyone could say something about the word ‘love’ Bobby got his lips against Daken’s and kissed him softly.

As they kissed Daken slowly realized what Bobby had said and felt his heart skip a beat. _Oh you fool, you beautiful, perfect fool. Me too. Love you too._

The kiss went on and deepened. Bobby wished for a moment that his nose worked like Daken’s. He would have liked to be able to smell the subtle shifts in mood right now, to know how Daken was feeling. His hands moved up his back and pressed their bodies closer. 

Daken stayed pliant and trusting but he didn’t continue the kiss, instead he pulled back a bit and just smiled at Bobby, eyes shining with contentedness, “Thank you.”

“For what? Being the sort of dork who yells at you when you’re out of bed too long but is also too lazy to get up and come after you?” Bobby arched a brow and then shook his head, “You’re just being silly now.”

Chuckling softly he shook his head, “For being my reason to not go off on a pointless, probably unsuccessful ghost hunt.”

“Ghost?” Bobby frowned, “Jimmy’s not dead Daken. We’re going to find him, we’re going to bring him home. Quentin’s going to be back up and running soon. Foley showed. Quentin’ll find Jimmy.”

“I know.” Daken nodded and just smiled at Bobby, not seeing a reason to explain why he had chosen the words he did. It didn’t matter. The meaning was the same regardless of the exact words.

“Are you sure you wanna stay in bed? I’m starting to think you’re hungry, as in, maybe you _need_ to eat.” Bobby ran a hand over Daken’s arm and examined him for any sign of faintness. 

That made him laugh and nudge Bobby playfully, “I’m fine. I’m - … I’m actually okay. About ready to get my little brother back but otherwise … I’m good.”

“Good. Because based on what we know, which isn’t much, it’s not going to be easy.” Rather than start to rehash all of it, all the possibilities Bobby hugged Daken closer. _I’ll talk to Foley in an hour, I’ll get with Kitty, I’ll talk to Ororo about that storm that rolled in, I’ll make a plan and run it by Scott. We’ll make this happen, in an hour._ “Shh.” Bobby hushed them both. “Cuddle meditation time is serious time. No more talking, only cuddles.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey all, Nausi here.**  
>  So this was a steamy chapter. Are you enjoying Daken's self discovery journey? I hope the tension break worked for you guys. It's something I feel was needed. Due to the nature of this story and it's themes this sort of thing is character building.
> 
> We are liking the idea of Wednesday as update day. Maybe do a second update a week on Saturday or Sunday if it comes together. What do you think?


	46. Chapter 46

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are no leads. Cerebra isn’t helping, tracking per scent became impossible the moment Jimmy took to the air and they are all out of options. Sometimes all one can do is wait and hope for some miracle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Guilt, Self Destructive Behavior, Implied/Referenced Eating Disorder, Obsession, Sexual Themes, Personal Growth, Leadership, Friendships, Relationships
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Wednesday**

It had been four days. Or more specifically ninety eight hours and about sixteen minutes. Quentin was keeping track because his mind refused to let go of the shame. It had been his over eagerness which led to that trap being sprung and Jimmy running off to fuck-knows-where. Yeah, he had kind of paid for the mistake with three claws stabbing through his kidney but somehow that didn’t seem like _enough_. Jimmy was out there somewhere and they had no idea where to start looking because even Cerebra wasn’t useful. Slowly but surely it was driving him mad. 

Instead of dwelling on his self hatred though, Quentin had started to work obsessively on gaining full and complete control over his abilities again. What had been more or less just a thing he worked on occasionally, being more than capable at this point, was now all he cared to do aside from sleeping and the times Bobby showed up to feed him annoyingly healthy things. It involved a lot of time spent with Rachel and some less welcome sessions with Jean Grey. Not that Quentin didn’t like her but she didn’t - alright, maybe he didn’t like her. Some people didn’t work together well, that was a fact of life.

“So …” Quentin put the bottle of water down and looked directly into that pair of green eyes, “Is it true? Did you and Wagner break up?”

“He proposed.” Rachel sighed and shook her head. It wasn’t something she wanted to talk about, but Quentin had just bared his soul to her more or less, it was one of the side effects of their training, and she liked him. It was that last bit that mattered more than the first, but the combination did away with any hesitation, still she kept all thoughts of Yana’s lips to herself, “I had to face down that same fact as Kitty did with Piotr. There’s different sorts of love. I love Kurt, he is a wonderful person, but I don’t believe I’m _in_ love with him.”

“You’re not.” Quentin said it easily and then shrugged, “What? I don’t even need to be a telepath to tell. It’s the look in your eyes, Ray. You don’t look like someone who is in love when you talk about him. Not like Bobby when he brings up Daken. Not like Logan with Scott or even Jean and Ororo. There’s affection there but not that kind.”

“I know, but it was nice not to be lonely for a while.” She shrugged, “Not everything has to be perfect, or forever. No one else was chasing me down, and the sex was _good_.” Rachel sighed, “I’m more upset that his romantic obsession ended things painfully.”

“Honestly, I don’t know how you didn’t see _that_ coming. You went and dated the most religious guy in the entire school. Not expecting him to propose is like being surprised when Magneto kidnaps everyone for Hanukkah.”

“He isn’t _that_ religious.” Despite her denial Rachel was smiling. Quentin had a way of saying outrageous things in just the right way to make people uncomfortable _and_ get a laugh. “He’s every bit as much a romantic as he is spiritual and religious, and I think it’s the romantic that was the issue. The sex was really that good.” She shrugged.

“Sex. It’s always about sex. Why is everyone so obsessed with sex?!” Quentin huffed and lied back on the comfortable yoga mat. They were down in the Danger Room but only for the convenience of it being shielded. No chance to accidentally mess up innocent students with telepathic training.

“Well, for one thing, if you’re a person who isn’t on the ace spectrum it’s generally safe to say that we’re biologically wired for it. Again, if you _like_ sex then good sex feels _good_. It connects people in ways that non telepaths and non empaths rarely find outlets for otherwise.” Rachel shrugged. “Why _not_ be into sex? Providing everyone involved can and does consent I don’t see why anyone should or would question it.” Rachel looked up at the empty space, “There’s no shame in hungering for affection and physical nearness.”

“Yeah there is …” Quentin sighed heavily and put his arm over his eyes, “It’s why Jimmy is somewhere out there, possibly going through hell … who knows. Either way, it only happened because I thought it was a good idea to mess around in his mind while I was thinking with my dick instead of my brain.”

“It happened because someone else was messing around with his head.” Rachel would have offered a comforting hand but she knew Quentin disliked being touched. Now wasn't the time to push him on multiple fronts. “You didn't do this to him. You triggered it. That's a long way from it being about you and your sex drive. Maybe it would've gone different if you had done everything right. That's not where I'd put my money though.”

“He wouldn’t have run naked at least.” Quentin sat up and pushed his hands through his hair. He hadn’t bothered to shave the sides since Jimmy literally jumped out of his window. “You know, you do sound a whole lot like your Dad.”

“Thanks.” It put a warm smile on her face. “It’s nice to have them both back, the full grown versions even.” Rachel shook her head, “I missed him.”

“Everyone missed Summers. Even me. Especially Logan though.” Quentin got up and stretched lazily, “You know … my dating life was shit until I tried with a guy … maybe you'd have more luck with a girl?!” It was more joke than anything else but as all good jokes did, it held some truth.

Rachel laughed as she stood up and tried not to let the idea worm it’s way in. After the kiss with Yana, Kitty’s wedding, and the fallout it was hard to shove herself back into the screwed up messy box. Part of her wanted to go to Yana and make a go of things, but she was not sure it could work. “Maybe. You need rest, and I have more work ahead of me. Go on.”

* * *

**Thursday**

At first Scott had found an empty room with no trace of his, well, whatever the hell Logan was now. After cleaning up the mess of dirty clothes, empty bottles and thrown aside cigar stumps, he sat down on the couch and scrolled through the news on his mobile. Logan would show up eventually. Or so he thought at least.

Now the sun was setting outside and there was still no trace of Logan. It made him pace in the room and contemplate if this was reason enough to nudge one of the Telepaths for a location on Logan. Just as he decided that it totally was, he spotted him. Outside. Opening the window he leaned on the windowsill and just watched quietly for a while. Going outside like an overprotective motherhen wouldn’t do any good, Logan never liked being fussed over. Nevermind that Scott knew a thing or two about seeking repetition to decrease stress. It was practically his go to drug for any and all problems.

The sky was losing the red and orange tint by the time Scott pulled his phone out again and sent a short text to Logan.

**S -** Think that tree is dead now. Good job.

In the distance Logan paused. He tossed the knife he was holding into the ground and then pulled out his phone. The wind was blowing from him to the school. After a moment He put his phone away.

It was dead when I started. Thing’s full of rot. You spying on me? **\- L**

**S -** Can you blame me? The view is quite nice.

Scott would see Logan pull his phone back out and then look over his shoulder. Their eyes met, and for a moment it seemed as though Logan would relent, but that moment passed. His phone went back into his pocket before he leaned down to retrieve the knife. Normally Logan would have blown off steam at the bottom of a bottle or on some unfortunate soul in the danger room. Not today. Today Logan was through with all of that, with everything. He didn’t care that he was tearing up a tree. The Danger Room wouldn’t satisfy him. He needed it to be _real_. It was the combination of repetition, focus, and the satisfying ‘thud’ of metal into wood that did it for him. With the throwing knives he had to build up a controlled rhythm and pause to retrieve his arsonal. It kept his mind off of his anger, and for now that was enough. 

With a sigh Scott pushed away from the window and left Logan’s quarters to head for the kitchen. If there was anything which might entice Logan to stop throwing knives at a poor, defenseless tree it would be bacon and potatoes. If in doubt, always offer food and beer – that was one of the very first lessons Scott learned about Logan. All the way back when they actually hated each other quite a bit and Scott thought that was counterproductive and stupid so he set to fix it.

It was a good thirty minutes later when he sent another message which was simply a picture of the food he had made, plated and accompanied with a glass of beer.

Before ten minutes had passed Logan was in the kitchen. He looked at Scott, and then at the food. “You got tired of the view?”

“I got hungry.” Scott smiled innocently as he added, “And I mean, I couldn’t eat you right? You are all filled with poisonous metal …”

“No one’s died from swallowing yet.” Logan answered as he sat down. It seemed that Scott’s humor was as soothing as his cooking.

“Mh, that’s good to know.” Scott smiled as he sat down too and picked up his fork. Years later and the same tactic of food and beer still worked. Logan was at once the most complex and the simplest person he knew.

Instead of speaking Logan ate. It was clear that he was still upset, that he was not any better than he had been. However, food, beer, and good company would always settle him down, at least a little. “You know, it’s not just Jimmy I’m worried about.”

“It’s all of your children. Jimmy is your son and he’s their brother.” Scott nodded slowly and then made a face, “They are all affected by this.”

“And Rasputin is gone. We haven’t heard from him since he left. The Elf’s been sulkin’. Kitty’s lost, she’s just lost. Quire’s beatin’ himself down something horrible.” Logan picked up the beer. “It’s a shit show. Top to bottom.”

“I’ve noticed.” Scott said it calmly and with just a hint of humor. There was something about watching everything fall apart and _not_ being the one people went to which was kind of nice. Scott was waiting for when Kitty would give in and come to him. Either she’d do it soon or he would have to step in unasked. “Seems to me as if some people took too big a bite and now the chewing and swallowing is a problem. Either you grow from such an event or you are pretty much screwed. Thankfully this is less of a life or death situation than a _‘some people will be more traumatized by the end of it’_ scenario.”

“You’re thinkin’ Kitty needs to take on less.” Logan took another drink, “I’m not sayin’ you’re wrong, I’m just wonderin’ what you think she ought’a be in charge o’ and what she ought’a let go?”

“No one should run everything alone. As the guy who did just that, I can confidently say it will fuck her up and then some.” Scott shrugged, “Running just one team is a task that isn’t easy. It takes a toll in ways that words can’t quite cover. The hard part of leadership was never to die, it’s to ask others to die for you. But multiply that by the burden of running a school full of vulnerable, hated children and add having to make the last call on everything when push comes to shove and …” He trailed off.

“So what? You wanna take over the teams?” Logan arched a brow. This wasn’t something new. Scott talked about the burden of leadership more often than he talked about his feelings. It was a topic they were both veterans of. “Figured you might take a little time, get a hobby.”

“It’s been twenty three days and I’m basically bored out of my mind already.” Scott made a face, “I don’t do well with free time and nothing to occupy myself with and obsess over. Teaching can only keep me busy for so long.”

“There are going to be people who won’t be happy you’re in power. Kitty might not give it up at all.” Logan licked his lips and shifted, thinking, “I’ll back you, Ro will too. Drake? Do you think you can count on him?”

“Yes but that doesn’t matter.” Scott cocked his head, “I’m not taking it by force. The only way I am putting that burden back on my shoulders is if get asked, very nicely, by the right people. I mean, I can always give Erik a call and ask him if he’s in the mood to run another round of kinda criminal Mutant rescue missions.”

“I’m not gonna follow you there.” Logan set the glass down and turned to look at Scott, “Whatever this is we’re workin’ on between us Scotty, it’s important to me, but I told you once, my kids have to come first. That’s not gonna change.”

“I was joking.” Scott sighed and leaned back, “Not about wanting to be asked but about going to Erik. Not that it wasn’t fun to mess with the police and the Avengers, but living in Canada, inside the place you were tortured? Not my idea of a good time to be honest.”

“When I heard about that I didn’t know what to think. Now I still don’t but for different reasons.” Logan sighed and let go of the anger. It was difficult but holding onto it was too painful now that Scott had loosened him up. He looked older, not all his years, but several decades older, and quite tired. “I’m not made for this waiting.”

“I know.” Reaching across the table he put his hand on top of Logan’s and smiled softly, “But that’s sometimes all you can do. He’s your son, Logan. Whoever is messing with him isn’t going to have a good time doing so.”

Logan gave a soundless, mirthless chuckle. “Yeah, you’re right about that. Kid’s made of stronger stuff than me, that’s for sure. I get amnesia it’s off to the wolves, full feral. That kid’s had about the same treatment as I got and he kept his humanity. No telepath is gonna have an easy time controlin’ him.”

“According to my younger self, he went off to hang out with wolves too. They found him in the, guess what, Canadian wilderness. Fighting a Wendigo.”

That got an actual chuckle out of him, “Was he talkin’? Actin’ like an actual person? Or had he gone wild?”

“He grew an, I quote, _awesome beard_ and acted like he wasn’t entirely convinced he was human.” Scott shrugged, “Didn’t have a chance yet to sit down with any of the time displaced teens since they stayed after the wedding fiasco but I’ve been texting with little me and little Bobby.”

“It was good to see them at the wedding, and good that they stayed …” Logan trailed off and sighed. His posture shifted, like a dog perking up at something unheard.

Kitty Pryde walked into the kitchen and looked between them. “Hello.”

“Hello Kitty. Would you like to join us for dessert? I made chocolate pudding.” Scott smiled at her before getting up to grab said pudding and three bowls.

“I was hoping that you might be willing to speak with me alone …” Though she was not intimidated by either of them Kitty’s words trailed off under Logan’s gaze. Before his death they had been close, extremely close. Logan had always been like an older brother or a second father to her in much the same way Ororo had served as older sister. It was odd now that he was back to find themselves so at odds. She couldn’t help thinking that perhaps he blamed her, not for any one thing, but for a whole host of things. “... yeah, actually. Pudding sounds good.”

“Talking alone is so overrated anyway. Even if we did, I’d go to Logan and talk through it with him either way. Probably.” Scott shrugged and set the three filled bowls down.

She took a seat near Logan at the breakfast bar and tried to process this. It had been a long time since Logan and Scott got along. Their breakdown in communication had caused one of the biggest rifts in mutant society. “Guess I should’ve seen that coming all things considered.” Kitty sighed and took a bite. “It’s good to see you two getting along.”

“See what coming?” Scott cocked his head and then looked at Logan, “You mean us getting our shit together? Yeah, that was kinda bound to happen. Either that or we would have been fighting out on the lawn weeks ago.”

“Would’ve started in the first twenty-four hours.” Logan shrugged and then went back to eating.

Kitty looked between them, down at her pudding, and then back at Scott. “I’ve had to face a lot of uncomfortable truths in the last week. Most of them have been in my private life. However, there is a professional matter I’ve had to come to terms with. If you weren’t here, well you are so it doesn’t matter. I need your help.”

“I know it doesn’t come easy to say that but look at the bright side,” He dipped his spoon into the still slightly warm pudding, “You’re already a step further than me on figuring out how to do this leadership thing. I never admitted I needed help and well, we all know where that ended. Though in my defense, who was I going to ask? Xavier? Ha.”

“Yeah, no.” Kitty nodded, fully understanding Scott’s disillusionment with the Professor. “But I don’t really care about what you could’ve done better, not right now. I just … I feel like I’m going mad, like I’m losing myself to the demands of this position.” Logan’s hand on her shoulder was comforting. She hadn’t even realized she needed it till he reached for her. 

“I have no doubt that you’ll do this job as good, no, _better_ than me one day but until you’ve figured yourself out … well, how do you put your trust into someone who can’t even trust themselves? Doesn’t work that way.” Scott shook his head and then looked at her with a smile, “I’m bored out of my mind anyway so might as well lighten the load on your shoulders.”

“Honestly I don’t think it should ever be just one person’s job. Ororo does do a lot for me, but I try not to ask for much. I’m in charge because she didn’t want to be anymore.” Kitty took a deep breath and then let it out, “I want you to take over the militia aspect, the X-Men teams. I don’t want to give you command of Gold team, but I do want you to be the one calling the big shots.”

“Fine with me.” Scott nodded and then looked at Logan, “You better kick my ass when I go off script again but no running off with all the people I love.”

“Noted.” Logan nodded and scooted closer to Kitty, his arm around her. “You’re doin’ a fine job kid. More than that, you started to feel yourself drownin’ and you reached for help. I’m proud o’ you.”

Kitty looked away, tears gathering in her eyes. “Not sure how you can say that to me after …”

“Don’t do that.” Logan cut in and rubbed her arm vigorously as he shook his head. “You weren’t sure about things with Piotr so you called it off. That’s wisdom kiddo. That’s just plain good judgment. He’s the one who walked out on us. Maybe he comes back, maybe he stays gone a while. That’s not on you Kitty.” 

Kitty sat there for a moment, leaning into Logan, looking like she wasn’t going to say something, like she was just going to cry. Then she stood up, and with a stiff upper lip said, “Thank you Summers. I’ll talk to you more about the transfer of power when you have time tomorrow. Thank you for the help, and for the dessert.”

Scott nodded and watched her leave before turning back to his dessert. “Well, now I definitely don’t have to call Magneto and go be semi-evil again.”

With a roll of his eyes Logan reached out and took a spoonful of Scott’s pudding. “Good, I wasn’t lookin’ forward to rehashin’ our rivalry.” 

“No?” Scott cocked his head and offered another spoonful, “I heard that angry sex is supposed to be really good.”

Logan snorted and took the offered bite before answering, “S’alright, not as good as _‘I missed you’_ sex, or _‘I love you’_ sex.”

“Is that so?” Scott made a thoughtful sound and then said almost casually, “Why don’t we clean up this mess I made and then you prove that to me mh?”

There was no verbal answer from Logan. He just gathered the plates and went to the sink.

* * *

**Thursday**

There were days which Jean wished that Telepathy came with an off switch. Days like today where everyone in the school felt stressed to some degree and several people were having an endless loop of self destructive thoughts which she couldn’t quite blend out. Jean had withdrawn into the tower because at least it was quiet here and she loved Ororo’s plants and flowers. It was a room filled with scents and colors and the view was amazing.

“Perhaps a cup of tea would prove helpful.” Ororo’s voice entered the tranquility of the garden with the steamy fragrance of a good black tea. She came, sat down next to her dear friend and began to pour them each a cup. “I know I could use something to fortify myself right now.”

“After all these years of being close to Logan you still reach for tea and not alcohol. I'm always surprised.” Jean smiled warmly and stood up to come over to the little table. “I suppose his influence on you isn't bad.”

“When Logan has someone he believes needs taking care of he drinks less alcohol. He likes green and herbal teas.” There was a warm smile on her face and when Jean sat down near her Ororo leaned in and kissed her cheek. “I prefer black and oolong.”

These little gestures still made her flush and smile like a happy fool. It had never crossed her mind to look at women like _that._ Not once. Then she'd come back and Bobby was out and it hit her that of course they didn't _have_ to be straight. “I enjoy fruit teas.”

“Awe! I’ll have to make us a cup of passion fruit and raspberry later.” Ororo grinned and took a sip of her tea, “All these years and I was not aware you prefered fruit teas. I suppose there are still mysteries left in the universe.”

That drew a chuckle from her and she reached over to hold Ororo’s hand. For a little while they just enjoyed each other’s company and the tea. It was only when Scott reached out and relayed the fact that he was going to set back into a leadership role, that Jean decided to say something which broke the comfortable silence, “Do you think Scott should be back in charge?”

“I think he never should have been taken out of leadership.” Ororo answered easily. She leaned over and put a hand on Jean’s shoulder. “I know what the toll and stress of it did to the two of you as people, friends, and lovers, but as much as you ever needed him, our people need him more. Scott Summers is lightning in a bottle, he is the sort of leader that come about once in a hundred years. I’ve disagreed with him, I’ve bested him in combat, I’ve worked with him, and against him, and I will tell you now, we need him.”

“Well, you’ll be happy to know it’s happening then.” Jean sighed and put her empty cup down, “I know it’s good for Mutantkind but I don’t think it’s good for him as a person. Sometimes I think he just buries himself in work so he doesn’t need to be one – a person.”

Ororo moved so that their knees were touching and set down her cup as well. Their hands joined and their eyes met, “I cannot imagine that he will be expected, or even desired, to take over everything. If Scott is working in the capacity that he is best in and supported I believe that a great deal of the stress can be spare him. More than that though, I cannot imagine him happy sitting on the sidelines. Can you?”

“No, never.” Leaning against her girlfriend, and oh that was still so exciting to think, she sighed and smiled a little. “Scott is … he is Scott. I know that if he’s not kept busy he becomes more withdrawn and depressed. Logan better take good care of him though.”

“I can personally attest to Logan’s attentiveness as a lover. Scott will want for nothing.” Ororo smiled, their legs were woven together, and they’d each pushed to the edge of their chairs to lean in close. Ororo guided Jean’s arms around her waist and then started to card her fingers through that bright red hair. “Not that I would go back. You have made me feel things I had forgotten were within me.”

“’Ro …” She blushed, almost matching her own hair but the smile was just as bright, “Kiss me?”

The only answer necessary was the meeting of their lips. Ororo made a soft pleased sound as Jean pressed against her enthusiastically. It was at once pure and lustful, a meeting of dual natures that spoke to her soul. Ororo pulled Jean into her lap, tipping the scales towards lust, _[I will do more than kiss you.]_

* * *

**Friday**

“Hey Bobby,” Quentin looked up from his phone and arched a brow, “Why haven’t you told me you’re dating Scott?”

“You’re what?” Daken turned his head to look at Bobby as well. They were, all four of them, inside the smaller common room. Bobby was playing pillow for him, Quire had for some reason picked to get comfortable on the floor and Zachary was doing that thing that only teenagers could do in armchairs. Adults just weren’t bendy enough to lounge like that.

“Well that’s because I’m not dating Scott.” Bobby shook his head and frowned, curious at the punchline Quen was setting up for, “I’m dating Daken, you know that.”

“Social media says different. And you know, social media is _always_ right!” Quentin turned his phone so that they could see the picture of Scott with an arm around Bobby’s shoulder, both of them laughing. “Totally dating.”

“You’re cheating on me? Already? Wow, I must be bad at this boyfriend thing.” Daken went with the flow mostly because having Quire _joking_ again was good. It had been six days since the Wedding now and there had been nothing but moping about and looking too serious. Not just from Quentin either. No one was having a good time with the fact that they had absolutely zero leads on where the hell Jimmy had been taken.

“You’re an only child Quen, you have no idea how brothers work. Also the internet is thirsty.” Bobby rolled his eyes but grabbed Daken’s hand, “Don’t worry Daken, if I cheat on you it’ll be someone prettier than Scott.”

Zachary snorted, but not at the conversation. He had his nose in his own world, looking at his phone. 

“I’ve got no idea if I’m an only child, technically. I did grow up like an only child though so you have a point there.” Quentin lied back down and kept scrolling through the ‘news’.

Daken looked back at his boyfriend and arched a brow, “So Warren? Or maybe Quire himself?”

“They’d have to be prettier than Warren. Quen’s too young and the wrong sort of pretty.” Bobby shrugged and squeezed Daken’s hand. “It’s a very small and elite pool of people I have to draw on.”

“I’m very offended. Just for the record.” Quentin almost smiled a little. Things still sucked but if he kept staying in that hole than old habits, bad habits, would catch up with him and he couldn’t risk that. It would weaken him and make operating Cerebra even more of a pain in the ass. Nevermind that it would likely lead to Jimmy guilt tripping himself when they did get him back. And they would get him back.

“You’re offended?” Bobby leaned forward and let go of Daken, “By what Quen? The fact that you’re too young, or that you’re not my type?”

“That I’m the wrong kind of pretty! I am always the perfect kind of pretty.” Pouting he looked up at Bobby.

As Bobby drew away he put his book aside and leaned over to peak at Zachary’s phone. The young teen would probably tell him to fuck off but it was always fun anyway.

“Oh yeah, even guys like _him_ have twitters. You should have a twitter Daken.” Zach looked back at his friend and rolled his eyes, “See, he’s even verified!”

His eyes went wide and for a moment Daken forgot where he was and who was around him. Snatching the phone he stared at the name, the verification and the profile picture. That was – _How didn’t I think to check there? They all said he wasn’t the same anymore ..._

“Hey!” Zach snatched his phone back, “Dude! Not cool!”

“Daken are you alright?” Bobby looked over at the pair and frowned, his play argument with Quentin forgotten for the moment. 

“Yes, yeah – I’m fine.” Daken breathed in deeply, pushed his hands through his hair and then said, “I just lost my last bit of faith in humanity. Apparently no one besides me doesn’t have a twitter.”

“Spiderman runs one of the best twitters, but I like his Instagram better.” Bobby nodded and then shrugged, “You don’t have a twitter, but you had a Grinder?”

“You have a Grinder?” Zach turned over and stared, “Really?”

“Lies, all lies! I never had any such thing.” Daken got up and quickly changed topics, “Now who wants pizza? I’m hungry.” His mind was running a mile a minute with the possibilities but he focused on the moment for now. He could plan his actions when he wasn’t trying to be social later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here!**  
>  We’ve still got some form of the time stamp going on in this chapter. I think it’s growing on us. We’ll see how long it sticks around for. I personally really love that about fanfiction, all the chances there are for experimentation. Finn and I try to be fairly consistent, but we also really enjoy playing around with formatting. 
> 
> As far as the current plot, I promise you, things are moving right along. No one is going to forget Jimmy. I know several of you are very worried about him. So I just want to take a moment to reassure you that we don’t have any major character death planned. Also TDYK is about healing and forward progress. We aren’t going to throw insurmountable things at our babies. We all face setbacks on our road to recovery, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t moving forward, we just might have to back track.
> 
> Thank you all for reading. I’m looking forward to hearing what your predictions are this time. The next chapter is going to be one heck of a wild ride!


	47. Chapter 47

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby wakes to an empty bed and a missing boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Nightmares, Deals, Gods, Prison Break, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Intentions
> 
>  **Note:** Be aware that the order of events shown is not the order they happen in. Mind the timestamps. 
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Saturday, 7.00AM**

> **__** _“Bobby you’re moving too fast.”_
> 
> _“I know Kitty but … just don’t take this the wrong way but no one has ever understood me the way he does. No one has ever accepted me, even the corny middle school romance and humor, the dark spots in my soul. No one but my Kitten.”_
> 
> _“It still makes me feel weird, you calling him that.”_
> 
> _“Yeah sure, it’s weird, but you know, I didn’t name you. Your nickname was Kitty before I ever knew you. Besides, I know this is hard for you still but …”_
> 
> _“No I know, I know. It’s just … I don’t want him to replace me. I guess I’m just …”_
> 
> _“Hey, no one can replace you Kitty. You’re one of my best friends. I need you to call me on my crap. I need you to get my math jokes. I need your smile, and your hugs, and you’re love of nineties television shows. Daken hasn't watched TNG.”_
> 
> _“Are you sure you’re in love with him?”_
> 
> _“Would we be out looking for rings if I wasn’t sure?”_

The light streamed in and Kitty’s face began to melt. It shone through her like she was made from dyed ice. Bobby felt his heart race, felt himself panic, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t do anything. All he could do was watch as Kitty and the store melted around them. He tried to scream but even his mouth wouldn’t open. His eyes looked around himself but there was only darkness and the blinding - “Holy shit what a dream.”

Bobby sat up and felt his chest heaving with the force of his breath, “Daken?” The bed next to him was empty. Bobby scrubbed his face and shook his head. The details of the dream were already fading. It was early yet, only seven in the morning, but the bed was empty and it was the light that had woken him, not Daken leaving the bed, which put a seed of doubt in him.

For days he had been waiting for the other shoe to drop. Jimmy had been missing for a week now. Daken had made himself incredibly vulnerable with Bobby, and pushed the boundaries of their shared intimacy. They had done nothing but kiss and touch since that first night and morning, but that did not mean they hadn’t been intimate. When Bobby wasn’t in a class, being briefed, checking on someone, eating, or shitting he was touching Daken. They weren’t glued to each other, they each had things to do, but every moment that they were together was spent touching. There were caresses, hugs, hands held, shoulders kissed, noses booped, and asses grabbed. Bobby was the team jokester and he couldn’t remember the last time he laughed or smiled so much despite the black cloud hanging over them. And yet he had been waiting for this moment. 

_Calm down Drake, it’s nothing._ He looked away from the analog clock he’d hung in his room to make Daken’s life easier and picked up his phone. There were no messages from Daken but there was a note under it with his name on it. The note itself was in Japanese. The characters were neat, and he assumed that Daken had great penmanship when writing in his native tongue as opposed to the more flowing and almost lazy way he handled the romanized alphabet. Bobby traced the characters, shook his head, and groaned. “Fuck.”

* * *

**Saturday, 6.15AM**

There was a saying in American culture, “ _All good things must come to an end.”_ Daken felt that he was understanding what that truly meant for the first time as he silently slid out of Bobby's arms and his bed. There was a little motion from his lover but once his absence was replaced with a pillow to hug, Bobby settled down again. It would not last. Daken had come to know how long Bobby could trick himself in his sleep. An hour, an hour and a half at most. He left the bed a few times this last week to pace and hate himself for giving up smoking, always returning before the hour mark to make sure Bobby didn't know that even his presence wasn't quite enough to keep Daken sleeping through a night right now.

Doctor Cooper had told him that any secret between partners was a dangerous thing that could tip the scales and destroy what had been built so carefully. Daken believed her and yet he still kept his secrets because a part of him simply didn't get that sharing wasn't the end of the world. As much as he had come to trust Bobby, as much as he was willing to be vulnerable with him - at the end of the day, Daken still kept some things private. How was he supposed to share the things that Romulus had done, the odd and terrifying feeling that scent had caused, the insane and all consuming need to just put an end to the nightmares after so many years?! There weren't words to explain, to express these things and so they stayed secrets kept in the deepest parts of his mind. Saying “ _I can't sleep because ghosts are chasing me in my dreams and demons haunt my waking moments”_ was just not enough to ever fully get across the fear - the horror he was feeling at times.

It was why the pen hovered above empty paper even though Daken knew he didn't have time to waste. What could he possibly write to express why he needed to leave and why he _had_ to do this alone? How could he make it clear that this was a horror that haunted him for longer than Bobby had been alive and that it had nothing to do with him - without sounding like he was dismissing the importance of their bond? Sometimes the English language failed him with the way it worked and so he settled on trying to put together a few simple sentences in Japanese instead. As he came to the end of the short letter, he paused once more and then breathed in deeply as he added one more sentence, the words feeling foreign and odd to put on paper even though they were as true as they could ever be, and signed as _Akihiro._

If things worked out even remotely the way he intended them to, by the end of this day _Daken_ wouldn’t be who he was anymore. _Daken_ had always been who Romulus created, who he groomed him to be even if the word itself had haunted him for longer than he had been aware of Romulus’ existence. Not knowing didn’t change the fact that from the second he had been conceived to this moment, there had always been strings tugging on his limbs, held in huge, clawed hands that felt like heaven and hell at the same time. The only thing that Daken really wanted was to cut these strings and leave absolutely no room for anyone to ever put new ones on him. Romulus needed to die for that and when he did, _Daken_ would die with him. Perhaps he’d never be able to stop thinking of himself as Daken but he certainly could change the way people referred to him.

But only when, _if_ , Romulus was **dead**.

Placing the pen down, he neatly folded the paper and put his letter beneath Bobby’s mobile. Then Daken gathered his things - he slid his boots on, strapped his sword into the halter on his suit and left the room. Bobby would understand if he was half the man Daken thought he was. Even if this was never going to be salvageable after making this choice.

* * *

**Saturday, 8.00AM**

It was eight before Bobby left his room. Hisako had taken a little time to get back to him which wasn’t totally odd, the fact that she was in Laura’s room having breakfast with Gabby and Laura was though. _When did they become friends? Think … Oh right Sunday. Hisako came to check on Quentin. Laura was there with Foley and they talked. I think Laura said something about being grateful to Hisako for trying to bring Jimmy back? Don’t they know each other from before all of this too? Laura was here at the school after Jean died, before we all went to the West coast … wait which time am I thinking of …_

“Ow, hey!” They had bumped into each other as he rounded the corner, not expecting Bobby to pay that little attention. Zach could feel powers and so it was easy to tell when someone was coming closer and who that someone was. Grumbling he leaned down to pick up his phone again, “You need glasses now, Snowblow?”

It was difficult to bite his tongue with his temper running high but Bobby forced himself not to get on Zach’s level. _He’s actually a teenager, he’s supposed to be a dickhead._ “Some of us have things on our mind that aren’t our phones Zachary. Speaking of, have you seen Daken in the last ten hours or so?”

“Mm, nah, saw him last when we were having pizza, Teach. Why? He giving you the cold shoulder this morning?”

“Maybe, hopefully. I haven’t seen him, and he’s not answering his phone. Which isn’t like him.” _Not in his room, not in the danger room, not out front, Gabby isn’t posting tweets about doing his hair so I can assume he’s not with Gabby._ Bobby didn’t share his list with Zach, there was no reason to freak the kid out. Daken was just as important to Zach as he was to Bobby in some ways, being sensitive to that was important, even now. 

“Huh …” There was a pause and then Zachary said with a thoughtful expression, “I’ve been hanging on my phone ‘cause Loki’s been posting cryptic stuff about meeting with someone intriguing.” He looked up at Bobby, “You don’t think … I mean, Daken kinda had a moment yesterday seeing Loki’s twitter …”

Bobby licked his lips and then put a hand on Zach’s shoulder. “I need you not to tell anyone for ten hours. I’ll either have this handled by then, or I’ll need help.” The hand holding Daken’s letter shook ever so slightly but Bobby kept his emotions in check otherwise. The fact that he felt an almost overwhelming wave of relief helped with that quite a bit. “Can you manage that?”

“Yeah, I mean, like … who am I gonna tell? I don’t want to put Daken in danger.” Zachary made a face and then asked, “You gonna be okay?”

“Yeah.” Bobby nodded. _Think!_ “If I’m not back here with Daken in the next ten hours you tell Professor Summers about this talk. I’m going to see Laura right now.” With a firm squeeze he nodded his head to Zach and then let go of his shoulder. “I’ve got a plan. Sort of.”

“Wait ten hours, go tell Summers. Can do.” Zach nodded and watched Bobby leave with a frown. _The hell is going on here? Why is there always drama in this school?_

~~~~~~

**Saturday, 8.10AM**

“So … hi.” Bobby waved his hand and then braced for impact. Both Gabby and Jonathan came over to greet him. Trying to hug them both with one arm, while keeping his precious note up and out of the way was difficult but Bobby managed. 

“Hello! Jonathan and I are both very pleased to see you.” Gabby grinned up at Bobby. There was mischief in her bright green eyes. “We’ve been expecting you.”

Bobby cocked his head and furrowed his brow. “You’ve been expecting me?”

“Ken isn’t in the school.” Both Gabby and Jonathan, the actual wolverine, shrugged. “I knew you’d be on your way to check in with us. Plus you know, Hisako said.”

Though Bobby had meant to keep hugging Gabby his arm fell as he and Laura caught each other’s gaze. “I … I hadn’t noticed he was gone,” Laura said. 

“You can just tell?” Hisako asked curiously.

“Yep.” Gabby took Bobby’s hand and lead him over to were the others were sitting on the sofa. She let him have the remaining seat and then settled on the floor with Jonathan. “He smells far away.”

Laura nodded, “Yes, and the scent on Bobby isn’t fresh, it’s hours old, he’s showered since he last touched Daken.” It was clear by her expression that she was worried. More than that though her voice shook a little. There was more than fear in her eyes though. Laura was already planning, and weighing the possibilities. 

“Laura was distracted.” With a shrug Gabby started to stroke Jonathon’s fur. She was unconcerned with the silence her statement left.

“Look I just need you to read this letter Hisako. Daken left it and I don’t speak Japanese. I don’t want to risk a translator giving me the wrong idea.” Bobby held out the sheet of paper and let Hisako have it with only a little resistance. _Why is she blushing? Why is Laura blushing?_

Hisako cleared her throat and read it aloud, “I have said from the beginning that I am not a hero. There are shadows, ghosts, and demons which I must face. If I am equal to the task I will return and then you may decide what to make of me. I hold you in my heart.” Here Hisako paused, blushed, stole a glance at Bobby and then looked back at the letter. “He wrote… here where there's a break before he signs his name as _‘Akihiro’_ , he says he loves you.”

“Like he wrote, 'I love you’?” Bobby blinked.

“Yes … specifically he says ‘I am in love with you Bobby’, and the way he breaks your name down is adorable. This is very …”

“Okay sure, romance, feelings, yep. But where is Ken?” Gabby was on her feet looking at the three adults expectantly. 

Bobby licked his lips, “He's wherever Romulus is.”

There was silence then, tense and ripe with fear. It lasted only the moment it took Laura to make a simple choice, “I know where.”

“We need to keep this quiet.” Bobby, despite feeling light headed, relieved, and guilty all at once, pulled his phone out of his pocket and shot off a quick text to Illyana and one to Quentin. “Kitty, Logan, and everyone else will get in the way and over complicate this.”

“I’m going with you!” The fierce expression on Gabby’s face took Bobby a back. 

Laura shook her head, “No, we have to stay here Gabby. We can’t put so many of the people Daken loves all in one place. Not like that. Romulus is deadly and clever, Logan and Daken have been closed lipped but I’ve . We have to stay back in case something goes wrong.”

Gabby looked thoughtful and then nodded, “We have to be ready to save everyone.”

“Honey Badger is the hero I trust most.” Hisako spoke with absolute sincerity and was rewarded with a bright smile from her hero. 

That warmth faded though as Gabby looked back to Bobby. “Bring my brother home.”

Bobby stood up and Hisako stood with him. “We will Gabby, I promise.”

* * *

**Saturday, 6.28AM**

The sun was only just cresting the hills and rises, most of the beauty of it was hidden by the obscenely tall buildings though. He tapped out a quick tweet about spires and spies and meetings with princes as he chuckled to himself. There was a fair chance that Daken would prove useful to him in the future, and based on what he was seeing on twitter and Instagram the man had turned over a new leaf. It was quite intriguing. That was why he had agreed to this meeting, but why he had not given a private place as their first destination. In fact Loki was waiting for Daken within the very park the school for gifted youngsters, or whatever it was being called this year, currently resided. Their rendezvou point was as far from the school as possible while still being within the bounds of said park. Loki waited with his hands in his pockets, dressed finely but not outlandishly. As Daken approached Loki put his phone away and smiled smiled, “And you came alone. Interesting.”

Blue eyes shone bright in the indirect light of the rising sun and the distant park lights which were not yet dim. Daken stared at the man who was nothing like he remembered and yet still Loki. Summer was nearing its end now, the nights and early mornings were getting quite cool but nothing like the place they were heading to which meant Daken was carrying a thick coat with him. Pulling a pack of smokes from his pocket Daken shrugged and lit the cigarette, not caring for the moment about the whole quitting thing, “Did you think I was joking? I don't make jokes like that.”

“Oh no, I didn’t think you were joking, only that well -” Loki shrugged and took a few steps forward. He was not putting on airs, he was not trying to be anything but Loki. There was still an accent to his speech, something that spoke of the British Isle to mortals, but that was far, far older than that. Yet he did not speak in out moded ways as the other Asgardians did. “- I have it on good authority that you have a bit of a sidekick, or perhaps you are the side kick. It’s difficult to tell with pairs of grown men.”

“We are equals.” Daken said it with a firmness that said he wouldn’t take a joke about it. “No one is anyone’s side kick. He’s my partner and he is asleep like good little superheroes should be.”

Loki smiled. “Ah and we are not. Splendid, splendid!”

“Heroes care about everyone and everything. It's too much work really.” Daken shrugged before continuing, “You really don't resemble the asshole I met before.”

“We were in the same room for a time. Hardly meeting.” Loki looked about and then came forward. Once he was almost touching Daken he snapped his fingers. They were no longer in the park. They were in a clean, orderly, and relaxed apartment. The lit cigarette between Daken’s lips disappeared. “We are correcting that now. Please, have a seat.”

For a moment the only thing Daken did was glance around the room, taking in their surroundings and looking for an exit. Then he settled down on the couch and took off his coat. “Handy skill to have. I wasn't expecting a nice apartment to be the meeting location.”

“I doubt that I will do much that you expect _son of Howlett_.” There was an impish curve to the smile on his face. Loki moved into his kitchen and found a few sodas. He poured them into glass cups and put metal straws in them. The green fizzy liquid was amusing, and it delighted him. Simple pleasures were to be embraced, especially after the hell he’d lived through. 

Daken's eyes widened a bit at the sight of melon soda and he took the glass without question. Not without sniffing at the contents though. It didn't smell off and poison wasn't really a problem either way. “You've changed. I heard about it but seeing it is different.”

“We all change.” Loki shrugged and sat down across from Daken. “I am still myself, the same, but more. And you are the same but different as well.” He motioned with his drink. “I had heard, but the view is something else entirely.”

“That's a misconception. People don't change. Circumstances change. Without there being no other choice than to adapt, people don't change. Change costs energy and we are a race of lazy idiots.”

“That is a truth.” _It is not the whole truth._ Loki smiled and drank, unconcerned with Daken's assertion. “So, you have been trying to get ahold of me.”

“Yes.” Daken nodded and leaned forward, “I need a favor and I'll pay whatever price you want as long as it doesn't involve my family in any way.”

“What if it involves Drake?” His face was impassive, but his resting expression was not neutral, it was one of waiting mischief. 

“He is family. They all are, everyone in that school.”

“The entire school is your family now.” Loki shifted and looked thoroughly delighted, “Oh that is a change. Is that all circumstance? Or are you a different person now?” The light was caught and danced in Loki’s eyes as he watched his guest, completely enthralled by their conversation. 

“You misunderstood. I simply said that it is circumstance which causes changes. Not that change is impossible. As to what or who I am - well fuck if I know.”

Loki laughed and nodded, clearly pleased by their exchange. When he quieted there was silence for a time, and then he spoke, “I will help you, but in turn for your favor I will ask a favor of you. On Thor’s life do I swear it will not negatively impact your family.” Loki held out his hand for Daken, “Do we have a deal?”

“You don’t even know what I’m asking for yet. Are you sure you just want to make a deal before that?” Daken arched a brow.

“Yes.” Loki’s smile was wide and bright, there was nothing unsure about him. “I do.”

“Then we have a deal.” Taking the offered hand he shook it.

“So, now, why don’t you tell me what sort of adventure you need the God of Mischief and Stories for and _not_ any one of your many, many family members?” The arched line of his right brow rose as if to call out Daken’s duplicity. 

“There are some things where you don’t need a hero by your side being the annoying morally good shadow.” Daken leaned back again and sipped from his drink before he set into explaining, “There is a prison I need to break into and it’s the kind of place you can’t just casually blow a hole into and then do whatever you want while everyone panics.”

“You are looking for a true covert mission, I understand.” Loki nodded. “You said you want to break in. An odd choice of works. I assume you do not want to get someone out then?”

That drew a bitter chuckle and his eyes shone with something dangerous in them, “Quite the opposite yes. I intend to ensure that someone can never leave that place.”

“Why?”

There was a pause and then Daken closed his eyes as he spoke, voice distant and tone neutral, “The man inside that prison is everything that I fear. He is the shadow that I cannot shake, the hand around my throat, the whisper in my ear, the embodiment of nightmares. He took from me things that I can never get back.”

A serious expression fell over Loki. It fit on him like a heavy yoke. Loki shifted and then nodded, “We had best get started then.”

“Think he might also be involved in my little brother going rouge. And that, that I won’t forgive.”

Loki nodded, something had changed in his expression, “An older brother looking out for his little brother.” He stood, “Tell me about this prison. And remember I’ve agreed to get you in. I may be able to get you back out. What you do inside, I’ll have no part in that.”

Daken nodded, “If all you do is get me in, that’s enough. I don’t care what happens after he’s dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hello all, Nausi here!**  
>  Well the action is picking up now. Daken why are you running off now? Why don’t you just talk to people? Oh, because you never learned to trust? Yeah, fair. I’m sorry guys. Daken’s still not really used to this whole relying on people thing. It’s not easy. Those of you who’ve always had to take care of yourself can relate I’m sure. I’m sure there are a few of you who knew we were going to be touching Asgard. We did give a bit of a hint with the night Daken got drunk on Asgardian spirits. (He’d been depressed after failing to get in contact with someone.) I’m not sure how many of you guessed Loki. He’s an interesting character with a bizarre and twisted past. His current comic incarnation is very different from classic Marvel and MCU versions of the character.
> 
> The next update should be out Sunday. Remember if you have questions you can ask them here in the comments, or if you would prefer to talk privately our tumblrs are always linked and from there you can find other ways to contact us.


	48. Chapter 48

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> To say that this had been a long time coming would be an understatement. Daken knows he’s been this close once before and the moment slid through his fingers like sand. He’s determined not to repeat the mistake but is it that easy to get over decades of manipulation?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Grooming, Implied/Referenced Conditioning, Sexual Assault, Post-traumatic Stress Disorder, Triggered Conditioning, Attempted Murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Trauma, Prison Break, Bribed Guards, Telepathy
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

The Canadian Arctic Archipelago: Qikiqtaaluk Region, Ellesmere Island. As far as the eye could see there was nothing but snow, rocks and ice. Even scent seemed to be reduced to his partner in crime, and a faint hint of something living but he had no idea what it was exactly; not human, not any animal he was familiar with. Everything seemed dead here, and it was almost laughably appropriate. The sort of movie setting for the start of a horror story. Daken couldn't find it in himself to laugh. There was nothing funny about being here.

A long time ago, he had promised himself to never return to Canada. This was far, far from the spot he couldn't ever imagine returning to, but it was still the same country. It was almost poetically fitting as a location for what was to come. Almost. If he could have gotten over the fact that his entire body was shivering in the cold and over the ghost hand that was wrapped around his throat. Returning here meant dragging up memories he had tried to bury so deep within his own mind that they essentially stopped existing outside of nightmares. Now they were back and they tasted of copper, ash and semen. Daken regretted not bringing along some hard liquor to wash the taste away with but he had not thought of it. Not when all his focus was on the task at hand.

Looking over at Loki, he swallowed and then nodded, “Yeah, ‘m ready.” He wasn’t, but there was no turning back now. Not when they were standing in front of the small cabin which was just a front to the underground prison. Not when he had come this close now and not when no one would show up to stop him from finally, _finally_ , getting his revenge. Fear was natural. He embraced it, he accepted it, he would overcome it. Fear was a motivator, not a deterrent.

There was no answer from the god, only action. Daken looked down the hall where Loki had teleported them, a sniff told him exactly where he had to go. Loki gave him a short nod and they parted, the trickster God waiting for him at a distance which would not even allow a _God_ to listen in. The corridor was objectively short but it felt as if every step he took widened the distance between him and his goal instead of shortening it. 

Each cell that he passed was full and Daken could feel the eyes of their occupants on him. Silence followed him as he continued to walk down the hall, not one of the people watching dared to speak to him. Daken was making sure of that, manipulating the people he passed effortlessly even as the cold nagged him. It was eating away at his resolve and his reserves, bringing up more unwelcome memories and intrusive thoughts. This was possibly the worst location for this and he hated SHIELD, and their follow up organization, for building a prison up in the very northern regions of Canada. The Kennel they called this place. A place, not for humans, but for the scum of this world. Daken pasted an empty cell on his right, and then one to his left. He stopped, turned to take in the next occupied cell. The sight that greeted him made Daken wonder if his previous thought was true though. As he glanced at the comforts offered to Romulus, his stomach turned. This wasn’t fair. It shouldn’t be. Romulus was a monster, an animal. And yet he was being treated better than every other prisoner Daken had walked past today.

Romulus was dressed as the other prisoners in a bright orange jumpsuit. The sleeves were short and his feet were shod only in cheap plastic sandals. Still he managed to look regal. There was something about him as he sat caged, something bright, something that did not fit with the attire and location. It was admittedly a fairly nice cell as such things went. He had three bookcases and a desk. There was a simple rag rug on the floor, and several woolen blankets on his bed. The toilet was there as well, in plain sight. Still the cells on either side and across from him were empty. Romulus had his privacy. That in and of itself was a luxury.

The monster of his nightmares was seated on the bed. One foot was drawn up to rest on one knee, a book of poems was held perched there, just so. Romulus sat straight, eyes scanning the page. He did not look up. He knew that Daken had come, his sources had told him this was happening before Daken ever even found a way to pull it off. Romulus licked the index finger of his left hand before turning the page. He looked easy and at home, not at all cowed or tamed. The cell looked as if it ought to be bigger, as if it were too small and too drab to contain him. Yet he sat there within its confines reading.

Daken's voice sounded toneless, ringing in his ears as he spoke, “Hello Master.”

Dark eyes looked up from a well worn book. Romulus smiled and Daken could feel it. Romulus was just on the other side of a nearly transparent force field. Hard light technology. “Boy, it has taken you long enough to get here.”

That voice. Daken felt a wave of nausea twist his stomach just hearing that voice again. It still haunted him in his nightmares but it felt like it had been ages since he actually heard it. Romulus was a ghost to him. Something that had once been real but had faded until it almost felt like a twisted eighteen hundreds German fairy tale. “Visitation rights are sort of shit in here.” Daken heard himself say the words but he wasn’t sure why he was saying them. Too casual, too much something Romulus would expect of him.

“That is the point of a place like this.” Romulus shrugged his shoulders and closed the book over his finger, marking his place. “To forget.”

“Out of sight, out of mind.” Daken met these steel colored eyes and for a second he felt like a child once more. Barely old enough to begin to understand the world in more than the simplest ways. Far from able to survive alone. He was no child anymore but Romulus had always had the ability to make him feel like one. “Why are you still here? This prison cannot hold you, don’t even try to pretend.”

“Logan went through a great deal of trouble to ensure that I was locked up. He exacted promises and leveled threats.” There was another shrug from Romulus, his broad shoulders moving smoothly. 

“Playing games? You insult yourself by doing so. It was you who taught me to see such things.” Daken crossed his arms and arched a brow, “I am not the one behind figurative bars. I can walk away and take the key with me again.”

“You did not come here to free me, I am not so foolish as to believe that.” Romulus chuckled a little and regarded Daken with interest. “You want something from me.”

“Who knows why I'm here. I don't. You don't. It's not to free you though, you're correct on that.” Daken shrugged and this time his gaze didn't falter as their eyes met, “You get news in this place?”

“I get information yes.” Romulus shifted. It was a small thing, and could have been about comfort, but it was more than that and Daken knew it. This was what chaffed. This was the one thing that actually bothered the monster; being cut off from information.

“What do you know about me, mh _Master_?” Aside from his tantrum in LA and the recent fifteen months, there shouldn’t be much. Daken had been methodical and careful to not leave trails before he got dragged into the mess called _X-Men_.

“You have gone soft.” The words were said plainly, but Romulus set aside the book, no longer marking his place. 

It was as he had come to expect of this – this monster. That obsession with not caring, with not being _weak_. A part of Daken felt pity for how foolish Romulus was. For a man who was old enough to _speak_ Latin as a native tongue, Romulus emotional development was that of a toddler. Daken knew because he had been there, had gone through the pain of learning far too late in life how to have more emotional range than a cockroach. “Is that how you see it? Do you honestly not understand that I’ve grown far beyond what you made of me?”

“I understand that you’ve been playing peasant. You have been pretending that you are not that which you were bred, born, and trained to be. I see that you are in fact delusional enough to believe the fantasy.” With a heavy sigh Romulus shook his head, “A pity. I had hoped before now that you were running a long con.”

“For what purpose? Why would I waste my time and energy in such a way just to end in a tiny cell, in the middle of fucking nowhere, surrounded by nothing but ice, snow and more ice.”

“You were not always so insolent boy. The purpose, the reason is simple, because you are my creature.” Romulus regarded Daken with disappointment. “You struggle against your purpose but you cannot escape what you are.”

They just stared at each other for a long moment and Daken felt small, insignificant. It reminded him of all the times that Romulus had spoken over him. Past him. To him. But never _with_ him. His stomach turned and his hands flexed. Romulus was treating him once more like an object and not a person. “I thought that perhaps it would be worth my time to attempt conversation but I see that was a mistake. There is nothing to be said between us. Nothing.” Daken breathed in deeply and then said, voice firm and sure, “You twisted and bent me in ways that words cannot begin to describe. You tried to break me, to shatter the very core of my existence so that there would be nothing human left. And you _failed_. You didn’t break me, Romulus. All you achieved was to groom me to hate you with every fiber of my being. You don't own me. I don’t belong to you.”

Romulus’ laugh was loud and full of mirth. He shook his head and sighed, forcing himself to contain his amusement so that he could speak, “If that were true you wouldn't have to say it boy, you wouldn’t be here. No, you are just a lost child wandering in the dark.”

“You underestimate how much I delight in seeing you in that tiny cell.” Daken smirked, confidence back in place even as every fiber of him screamed to run.

“You will always belong to me boy. You’ve never lived a day, not even inside your mother, when that was not true. I made you, everything you are, everything you will ever be is because of me.” Romulus leaned forward, his eyes almost glowing as he said the words, his accent perfect, “Eram quod es, Eris quod sum.”

The ghost of a hand tightened around his throat, cutting off the air and sending a shiver of fear down his spine. It was like being dipped into ice cold water and there was a tug on him towards the man who had said these words. As if the only warmth in the world would be found with him. Daken acted without thought, he took out the keys and turned them in the lock before swiping the additional card to unlock the cell and lower the barrier.

As Daken moved forward Romulus held out his arms in a welcoming gesture. “Come boy.”

Daken obeyed without hesitation. Romulus wrapped him in thick, powerful arms and his body instinctively went pliant. This was where he belonged. Right here. With his Master.

“Good. You have not forgotten.” One large hand stroked Daken’s hair. His finger and their long black nails wove between the silken locks. “We will leave here together boy. It will take some effort but we will salvage what you have made.”

The touch burned like fire. Daken breathed out heavily and there was the thought in his mind of a warm smile and gentle fingers running through his hair, playing with it. Of soft whispered words and tender kisses placed along his skin. _Bobby …_

“It is time to put away childish things Daken.” Romulus tilted Daken’s face up to him and stroked his cheek, “You’ve come home.”

Home. _Home?_ Daken blinked as Romulus leaned down to kiss him. _This isn’t home. You’re not home!_ The sound of steel slicing into vulnerable flesh was almost comforting. Daken felt the heat of blood spilling on his coat and for a second he wanted to laugh at the sheer insanity of the moment but instead he pulled back as quickly and as far as he could, both hands gripping the shaft of his blade with frantic strength. **“ _You. Don’t. Own. Me!”_**

Hot red blood ran out of him. Romulus looked down at the wound and shook his head. “I made you. I own you. You are mine boy, even if you kill me, you’re still _mine_!”

It was hilarious. Daken stood there, covered in blood, clutching his sword in shaky hands and he just felt like he had somehow stumbled into a big fucking joke. This was too much of a repeat of before. Too much like when he had come so, so close to killing Romulus just for someone to snatch him away. Any second now Logan would show up and ruin this. _Focus. Finish it. Now._

“I was _never_ yours.” Flicking the blade to the side to shake some of the blood off he approached slowly, “You owned my body but you never have and never will own my soul.” He raised his arm.

The swing never landed. Daken’s strike was held back by one sure and strong hand wrapping about his. “How dramatic. It’s like you believe it.” The smooth and delicate voice, like the hand, came from behind Daken. Romulus’ eyes lit up, and even as he bled his lips curled into a satisfied smile. 

Daken went still, eyes wide and hand dropping the katana. That voice. Slowly, ever so slowly he turned his head to look at the source of it and with the sight of red hair and red eyes, a flood of memories washed over him. Fingers tangled in his hair, the taste on his tongue, the whispered mix of mocking and praise. _Venandi_ , she would call him. And _pet_. She had always been there and yet Daken had not remembered a thing about it until he met her eyes again.

“I see you remember me now.” Remus rolled her eyes and looked over at her brother. “Enough, it’s time that we take him. There’s one within this rotten place with enough power to give us trouble. I dislike the Asgardians, every one of them.”

“You’ve brought the blond cast off?” Romulus leaned down and picked up the sword, examining it closely. 

“Miss Sinister did not want him when she realized how difficult he would be to control and that he no longer holds the genesis of his kind within him.” Remus shrugged, “He is pretty, and it’s high time I have my own little Howlett pet.”

_Move! Move dammit!_ Daken wasn’t even sure he was breathing. He should never have come here. Not alone. Not like this. He had been right, Romulus was involved with the whole post-wedding debacle but there was nothing he could do to save Jimmy now. _Move! Fight! Oh God she was always there -_

“You took long enough.” Romulus put an arm around Daken and began to guide him out of the cell. The group was headed down the hall towards the exit.

“I did brother. I took as long as I needed to take.” She rolled her eyes and lead the way. The wound was closing now, and they moved more swiftly, “Speed, that is what we need now.”

_That’s your little brother, you need to protect him._ Daken swallowed, still feeling petrified by the realization that it never had been just Romulus. _You can’t protect anything. Not him. Not Laura or Gabby. Or Bobby._

“Let him go!” The words sounded like a strangled rage given birth, they erupted out of Jimmy with a force that would’ve moved mountains.

“Oh hush now darling.” Remus leaned over and whispered in Jimmy’s ear. Some of the anger drained out of him, but it was clear in his eyes that he was still fighting. “Yes this is why Miss Sinister was done with you.”

~~~~~~

During the months leading up to his breakdown Daken had been sure that there was nothing worse than struggling with the Death Seed. That this moment in his life was as bad as it got. He had been wrong. He had been wrong because he had believed Romulus was gone, dead and forgotten. Because he hadn’t remembered that there was another monster lurking in the shadows. Because he had lied to himself to the point where he started to believe the lies. Now as they walked up the hall past where Loki was supposed to be waiting for him, Daken realized that this, this was far worse. This was more than just a nightmare. This was hell and there was no way out of it.

Jimmy was going to be the plaything of that twisted bitch, a toy much like Daken himself had been. And he was walking with Romulus’ arm around his shoulder. _The sword, where is the sword?!_ He looked about as they passed by guards who smiled and shrugged. The entire staff must have been bribed, or they weren’t even guards in the first place but Romulus’ own men, or both. Daken swallowed as they made it past the security checkpoint and felt his stomach turn. Romulus and his sister were talking, making plans, but then both their voices stopped. All four of them lifted their heads, all four of them drew in a deep breath. As the door opened before them Daken had to wonder if he was in a fever dream, if any of this was real at all. He smelled Bobby, and as the moonlight reflected into his eyes from the expanse of endless snow Daken _saw_ Bobby. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen a more divine and beautiful sight than Bobby Drake standing at the front of the Purple team.

“Hey! Guy who’s most likely to enter a Wolverine impersonation contest, and woman most unfittingly dressed for the weather! Those are our friends you’ve got there. Give them back!” Bobby called out across the icey expanse. He was not yet iced over, his bare feet sat above the snow, giving him a few inches of height on everyone else. Daken wondered at it, at himself, at the fact that he had ever thought this man a coward, or a fair weather friend.

Daken nearly choked as Romulus pulled him closer, an arm around his neck. “Run creatures.”

If there had ever been a time in his life when Quentin wished he actually had the Phoenix at his disposal it would be now. It didn’t take a genius to know that this was still an unbalanced match up. Whoever exactly these two were, they wouldn’t go down easy – not even to an omega level elemental and telepath. More so, Daken looked genuinely terrified and that was not a good sign. Though, to be truthful, the only thing that Quentin genuinely cared for was the fact that they had found Jimmy right alongside Daken. Without hesitation he reached for that familiar mind, _[Jimmy …?]_

The blood curdling scream that erupted from Jimmy’s throat as Quentin touched his mind bounced off of the nearby ice covered mountains. There was little to absorb it, to dampen it. The scream went on and on till Remus shoved him down face first into the snow.

At that Bobby iced over and looked back at Hisako and Illyana. The pair of them moved in, understanding what was needed. “I’ve never really been into orders. So creepy giant Logan and creepy giant lady, you’re gonna have to learn some manners.” With that Bobby created a giant ice golem and grinned as the thing reached out to grab Daken as Hisako and Illyana both moved in to flank. 

“Jimmy!” Daken was surprised when the word made it past his lips but that scream had been enough to shake him out of it at least a little. As the golem reached for him he struck at Romulus for the second time only to find that beneath flesh he wasn’t greeted with bone but shining metal. Metal that was strong enough to break his claws. Even as he choked back the pained scream by biting his own tongue hard enough to draw blood, his unexpected action was enough for Romulus to let go.

The golem cradled Daken carefully against its chest and then turned its attention to the red headed woman. Bobby moved in towards her while Illyana and Hisako kept the big scary asshole who could only be Romulus busy. They all heard adamantium against the Soul Sword. They new that sound. “Who are you anyway?” Bobby asked the redhead.

“Remus. You won’t remember it though.” Her voice was silky as she drew Daken’s sword. 

“I think I will.” Bobby said as he threw a block of ice at her. She parted it with the blade and looked more than a little put out. Bobby wasn’t sure why. “Normally women like to be remembered.”

A part of Daken wanted to turn away, hide his face against the cool ice and just pretend this all wasn’t happening. That was not a viable option though. He was many things but a coward wasn’t one of them. “Let me down.” He told the golem and even though it looked displeased, it followed the request. Daken drew the wakazashi, took a deep breath and got between Bobby and Remus. “That’s my sword, I’d like that back now.”

_[Jimmy. I know this hurts but I’m here, I’m going to get you back.]_ As utter chaos broke out Quentin focused on the only thing that mattered to him on a personal level. Sure he cared to get Daken back but had Daken also kinda put himself in this situation - Jimmy hadn’t. There had been no choice involved for him.

Bobby fell back a step as Daken rushed in, willing to let him have his moment, but confused about what was happening. No one had ever mentioned a woman, a Remus to go along with Romulus. He watched as Jimmy struggled beneath her foot on his back and wondered how strong she had to be in order to keep Jimmy down so effortlessly.

“You want to be on your knees, only you’ve lost all your sense.” Remus glared and shifted her weight as the body beneath her struggled more.

“Oh, I’d go down on my knees happily – just not for you.” There was no way he could overpower either of these monsters but if he could get her to step back that would be enough. 

Their swords clashed and Bobby didn’t wait. He made a face as he created a block of ice under Jimmy. When Daken pushed the attack Bobby caused the block to lift up, which pushed Remus off balance and let Jimmy roll out of the way. That seemed to be all the man was going to do, so the golem reached down and lifted Jimmy out of the fighting. 

“Disgusting whores!” The english was followed by what sounded like Latin, and from Romulus’ tone it was a vicious curse. Again he was holding the contents of his stomach in. The Soul Sword had found its mark even as Hisako was forcing a wound closed with her armor. Not knowing that the wicked claws were covered in adamantium Hisako had gotten caught by them when she came in close, with her armor tight about her, to act as distraction.

Remus yelled and spat in Daken’s face as he pushed the attack against her. “ _Frater!_ ” 

_Low. Strike low, she doesn't guard her legs properly._ It was an opening and Daken let it seem as if he was just avoiding her spit but he ducked to draw back and swing, cutting open her left thigh. The hours he had spent between these thighs, the things she had made him do …

There was more cursing in Latin. More blood on the snow. A helicopter descended from the sky and Bobby prepared to bring it down. 

“No!” Daken called across the distance, “Let them go.” It was too dangerous. They had to focus on Jimmy and Hisako. It wasn’t worth it, bringing the helicopter down and continuing this fight in which they were outclassed either way. Especially now that there were guards running out of the fake cabin, holding guns and leading vicious dogs, it made even less sense. Daken wanted to scream and rip them apart, give into the rage boiling beneath his skin but he didn’t. There had been enough foolishness for one day.

Bobby gritted his teeth but didn’t send his golem after the helicopter, he didn’t try to bring down an avalanche on the pair. He stood back and watched as Illyana gathered Hisako into her arms, and Jimmy was laid down at Quentin's feet. “Shit.”

“Jimmy.” Quentin knelt down and put the blonde’s head in his lap. _[Come back to me.]_

“Bring us home, Rasputin.” Daken had picked up the discarded katana and was coming over to them, expression carefully guarded.

“Get in a tighter group around Quentin and Jimmy.” Illyana held Hisako and kept an impassive look on her face. 

Bobby went to Daken and stood close, ready to offer comfort but not being forceful about it. _You’re alive. You are super alive, and we’ve got you._

Traveling through Limbo was an interesting experience. Daken would’ve cared more if circumstances were different. As it was he barely paid attention, only noting that everything smelled a whole lot like sulfur. They popped back into the school and he was about to turn and pick up Jimmy when he saw Quire do it with an ease that just wasn’t making any sense.

“What? It’s called telekinesis.” Quentin shrugged, “I’m taking him to my room. Still trying to get through to him. They did quite the number on his mind.”

“Foley will come check on you after he’s seen to Hisako.” Bobby looked to his friend and smiled a little, “Be ready for a visit from Gabby and Laura, they’ve been worried sick.” Though he wanted to split in three and go with everyone Bobby knew he had to follow Illyana and Hisako. She was wounded and as team leader it was his job to make sure she was alright. Still, as he caught sight of Daken Bobby hung back, reached for his hand. “Hey, do you wanna come with me?”

The touch sent a shiver through him and Daken almost broke right then and there. Almost. “I need a moment … take care of Hisako. My door will be open when you are done.”

“I’m not mad.” The idea that Daken might think that Bobby was angry with him, upset, or disappointed drove him to delay just a moment longer. Having an angry father Bobby knew what it was like to wait for a scolding, or to be _sure_ that something horrible was going to happen as soon as no one else was looking. “I’ll be with you as soon as I can. We aren’t going to bother with debriefing like normal, this wasn’t an official mission.” Bobby licked his lips and squeezed Daken’s hand tight before letting go. “It’s good to have you home.”

Daken stood there for a good three minutes before his body wanted to obey again. Bobby _wasn't_ mad? He _should_ be! He was _supposed_ to be. It didn't make sense but it also felt like the greatest relief imaginable. Daken took a deep breath and then turned to go to his quarters. There wasn’t much else he could do at that moment and he was exhausted. His left hand still ached, or more accurately the claws that had been broken did. It would take a few hours for them to grow back and it wasn’t a fun process. Nevermind popping them again the first time. Not that Daken cared right then. His mind was alight with a million thoughts, questions, and no solutions to any of them.

The scent that greeted him as he opened the door to his room made Daken narrow his eyes, hand hovering over the hilt of his blade again. Loki had been here. Loki and - “Meow.”

“What the …” Daken blinked and approached the basket on his bed, opening it carefully just for a shadow to jump out. A kitten? Cat? It seemed too big for a kitten but the way it immediately started to roll on it’s back and purr happily seemed less adult cat than young kitten. “Who the heck are you?” Of course there was no answer but Daken spotted the note in the basket.

> _Dear son of Howlett,_
> 
> _I would have offered my assistance but noted the arrival of your ‘family’. As the terms of our agreement did not allow me to affect them I decided it was best to remain hidden and only intervene should tragedy seem inevitable. Luckily my help was not needed, and I had a bloody good time watching the five of you handle those two monstrous giants. As to the kitten she is in need of a home. My mother’s cats had one of their coveted litters but a suitable home was not found for this little girl, the runt of the litter. She was entrusted to me, but I have tried pet parenting before and my ward tried very sincerely to eat me. So, I am entrusting her to you as repayment for my favor. Though she is of Asgard her needs are that of any Midgarian feline, only I would suggest not trying to spay her. She will have kittens or not at her own choosing. I have included all that is needful in order for you to get through the next few days. If you have any questions please do reach out using Twitter, I check it often._
> 
> _Loki_

“Bloody hell …” Daken sighed and sat down, looking at the kitten which was almost the size of a grown adult cat. “This is how I pay for that? Raising you?” The feline mewed and came over to sniff at him curiously. She was beautiful. Silvery gray coat, bright blue eyes and fluffy in a way that reminded him of clouds. “Yuki. Your name will be Yuki.” Picking her up he chuckled when she patted his cheek with her paw. “Welcome Yuki.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Translation:** From Japanese 幸 (yuki) meaning "happiness" or 雪 (yuki) meaning "snow".  
>  Venandi is Latin for "hunter".
> 
> **Nausi:**  
>  The long awaited rescue of Jimmy! I know that several of you were quite anxious for this to happen and I’m pleased to be able to put this chapter up and have your minds at ease. The stakes have changed now. The shadow of Daken’s past is real, is lose, and whatever respite there was is over now.
> 
> **Both:**  
>  We know not everyone is as obsessed as both Authors are so, to make it clear; Remus is a Canon Character. She appears in **Wolverine Volume 2 #310 – 313** when Romulus escapes form Cloak’s pocket dimension following Wolverine Origins. Romulus & Remus have not been a topic in Marvel Comics since that story but we all know that they are still out there for Marvel to use eventually. The story itself has her as an ally to Logan in hunting Romulus but the way she acts, speaks and manipulates Logan speaks a very different language than the spoken words. More on that topic you’ll find throughout the continuation of this story.
> 
> **Nausi:**  
>  Those of you who have some absurce comics knowledge and have been commenting really make my day. I love every comment we get but I want to thank those of you who find little hooks, callbacks, and references in what we’re doing. Thank you.
> 
> Please do keep the questions and predictions coming! You are all a joy and a gift.


	49. Chapter 49

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are both home safely but does that really mean anything? How much damage was done to Jimmy in seven days? And by a single meeting with the monster of his nightmares to Daken? Questions which don’t have a simple answer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Tags:**
> 
> **Part 1:** Implied/Referenced Rape, Telepathy, Non-consensual Mindaltering, Psychic Damage, Self Blame, Referenced Violence, Loss of Identity, Memories  
>  **Part 2:** Implied/Referenced Past Abuse, Planned Murder, Canon-typical Violence, Coping
> 
>  
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
> [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Sharp light came at him from below, and brought the smell of copper tinnitus. Everything was short, shrill, and shameful. There was no form, no path, no way. There was only heat and cold and directionless blame. It was in his chest and in his head and around his hands. It didn’t matter if he tried to turn, he had no body. It didn’t matter if he tried to float, he was a leaden weight. The waves of rust rolled over him and filled his nose and mouth. He tried to pull the cotton wool from his eyes but he only had hands to have claws. He only had lungs to cry. There was a drumming inside his head, in his toes, on the wall. It was strong and steady and full of guilt. Everything was shrill, the high pitched whining after a bomb when your ears begged to be jelly and you knew you had to hide, hide, _hide_. 

It was supposed to be all around him. Green, grand, and good. Their home, their living breathing home. Dust and death and debt were all that were left. Tears where there should be trees. Pain where there should be plenty. She could disappear, she could melt right in, but Jimmy couldn’t. He was drowning in the rust and dust and death. He was dying in her red arms with her red hair and her red dreams. Jealousy and jewels in her eyes. There was a drumming inside his head, in his chest, and the land. Falling, fallow, and fried. Tree after tree, roots turned to rust, fell as a voice called him back.

The voice called to Jimmy. It called to the boy who left for beers and never came back. The boy that became a man in war and blood and believed in a tomorrow. There were nails in his ears growing deep roots the color of lies. The voice called to Jimmy. It called with the drummering. It called with the things that were, the things that had been, the moments that had been green. 

_Am I Jimmy?_

The words were fully formed and realized. A thought, a question, a chance. With all the strength left in his leden form he reached for those words, for the voice, and the chance. He asked it again and again. _Am I Jimmy? Am I Jimmy? Am I alive? Am I real? Am I Jimmy?_ There were trees growing from his chest, and flowers in the arches of his feet. Jimmy climbed and strove and swam. He fought, felt, and filled in his own mind with the question; _Am I Jimmy?_

With great effort Jimmy opened his eyes and saw the ceiling. It was white. It was snow. It was real. He stared at the ceiling and accepted that he had to have a body, he had to be a person, and he was Jimmy. He had to be Jimmy. There was no one and nothing else that he could be. Staring at the ceiling he heard the voice, he heard it again and again -

Quentin had seen damaged minds, broken ones even, but he had never been confronted with a mess quite as extensive as this. It was almost like someone had thrown a tantrum inside a china shop and now he was tasked with putting back together the pieces into tea cups and saucers. Foley was healing what damage had been done physically but as much as the healer was a miracle worker with injuries, he couldn’t do anything about the psychological damage. That was left in hands which had little experience with the process of undoing conditioning. For the first time in ages Quentin wasn’t sure he was equal to a task that was based on Telepathy.

That didn’t mean he wasn’t trying. There were other telepaths here but he wouldn’t let them anywhere near Jimmy if he could help it. Not after what his friend - or was it lover? Quentin couldn’t even tell. Either way, he wouldn’t let anyone else mess with Jimmy after what he had been put through. Quentin could see it everywhere, _her_ handprints. Mister Sinister was almost artful about his manipulations but his female counterpart wasn’t. It was the difference between Chopin playing the piano and someone who had not even mastered the first notes of ‘ _Für Elise_ ’. Every time Quentin felt as if he was making progress he stumbled over another block, another hastily implanted thought. Still, he kept going, kept calling out for Jimmy.

“Quire look, he’s opened his eyes.” Josh sat back on his heels and blinked several times, glad now that they had cleared everyone out of the room. This was no moment for groups or crowds as well meaning as they might be. This was a delicate moment, and there was no telling what might happen.

“I know. I’m not trying to wake him though. I’m trying to pull the mess in his head back together.” Even as he said it, Quentin kept his own eyes closed and his hand squeezed Jimmy’s.

Josh watched as Jimmy’s head turned and those teal blue eyes locked on Quentin. “Yes, I understand that, in theory at least. However, I think you should _look at him._ ”

Though the words came from a throat rough with disuse they were easy to understand in the quiet room, “Tall drink of pink lemonade.”

Opening his eyes Quentin blinked a few times and then just smiled, voice a bit shaky when he spoke, “Hey handsome. Welcome home.” _I will not cry and sob in front of Foley. I will not -_

One hand came up to brush over his face, the motion sloppy and tired, “Handsome? Haven’t shaved in days, gotta look like a blond hairball with beefy legs.” Jimmy winced and tried to sit up. 

“You’re still handsome.” Quentin swallowed and then gave in, wrapping his arms around Jimmy he held on tight and let the tears fall. At the very least they had him back. Whatever the hell was between them now was another matter but that was secondary either way.

Without a word Josh got to his feet and went for the door. Whatever help he’d been his task was over now. Jimmy was himself, and no danger to Quentin. Besides that he could inform Laura and Gabby that their brother was awake and seeming more like himself.

Once the door closed behind their friend Jimmy tried to push the hair back from Quentin’s face. He felt tired, heavy, and useless. His fingers carded through the bright pink hair but accomplished nothing in the way of fixing things. “You’re still in here? Aren’t you? Trying to put things back together. Feels weird, everything feels off. Hurts and feels … feels heavy.”

“I’m always in here, sort of.” Kissing the top of Jimmy’s head he sighed and nodded, “But yeah … trying to clean up a little. Not having a good time with it though. What a mess that bitch made. Sloppy work.”

“She was … rushed.” Jimmy blinked a few times as he tried to pull up the right memories. “I couldn’t tell anyone what was happening but I kept trying not to go out at night, or to not go out alone.”

“Now you are just being nice to a literal bitch. What is it with Snikts and apologizing for shitty people who did shitty things to them? Bad habit.” Shaking his head he ran his finger through that golden blonde hair and sighed heavily, “She is just a damned amature. Sinister _without_ boobs is somewhat of a challenge at least.”

There was silence for a moment. Jimmy held Quentin against his chest and breathed. He let the air enter his lungs, exit his lungs, and he did not scream. “I know what a telepath can do when she has time.”

“Sinister isn’t Jean Grey.” His voice was soft, warm and filled with understanding. “And none of them are me. I can undo everything they’ve done.”

“You feel different than they do, different than Jeanie, or the ones who hurt me.” Jimmy reached up and stroked Quentin’s cheek. It was easier this time. “It’s sort of blending together, but for a while I thought … I thought _she_ had me.”

“No one will _ever_ have you like that again.” Cupping Jimmy’s face in his hands he looked at him seriously, “No one. I promise.”

“I know you’ll take care of it.” Jimmy nodded, “You’re a better man than most, true to your word.” After a deep breath Jimmy added, “You don’t owe me anything though. Not after what happened. I remember that too, stabbing you. It’s a miracle you’re alive.”

“It’s not. I can’t actually really die which is kinda funny because I can still get really fucked up but yeah. I am just a ball of energy essentially. This body is like a … puppet. I mean, it’s not even close to my real one in the first place.”

That was not the answer Jimmy had expected at all. He blinked at Quentin several times and stared for a long moment before he could say anything, “Ball? Puppet? Don’t understand. All I care about is how you make me feel, and that’s real. Holding onto that …” Jimmy stopped talking and looked off to the side. “You don’t owe me anything.”

“I owe you nothing, yeah. I owe no one anything but there are a few people I give a crap about and you rank really, really high on that list. Like top spot.”

This pain was welcomed. It soothed and covered over the drumming and rumbling in Jimmy’s head. He felt tears gather in his eyes as he looked back at Quentin. The way his heart beat, how good Quentin smelled, how perfect he felt held against himself, all of it formed an aching core inside his chest. “Quenie, I … I wanna stay with you. I don’t want to go back to Madripoor, or anywhere else, ever.”

“If you think I’ll let you go again, you haven’t figured out how goddamn stubborn I can be yet.” Holding on tight he kissed Jimmy.

The kiss said everything. Jimmy hadn’t wanted to assume, or insist. Those first moments he’d been unable to really think, and he had fallen into the easiness of their dynamic without thought. Now he was especially grateful. The kiss was warm and bright. Jimmy embraced that feeling and clung to Quentin in every way he could. 

_[I didn’t look deep enough before but … everything they did, I_ will _undo. Fucking Telepaths. Honestly evolution has to have been drunk when it made the choice to make that happen.]_

 _[How were you supposed to know? You were half a world away?]_ Jimmy’s mind, and his lips, did not falter. He wanted this, he wanted Quentin, and even if he was tired, and his stomach was nagging him, there was nothing that would stop him expressing it. _[Sloppy but well hidden, I never said a thing. How were you to know? Or does my energy ball boyfriend also claim to be a god?]_

 _[Well, not yet. Might have a couple years left before that happens.]_ Quentin couldn’t help chuckling into the kiss.

When their lips parted Jimmy caught his breath and then looked Quentin right in the eyes, “I don’t blame you. Is that … do you think this is your fault?”

“I think everything's my fault. It’s a part of the giant pile of issues I have.” Quentin shrugged and then sighed, “I’m working on it?”

“Quenie, I get that, I blame myself for parts of this, but I need you to understand that I don’t blame you, not even for a moment, not at all.”

There was a pause and then he said, almost a little angry, “It _is_ my fault. I was there, in your head, so many times and I didn’t see. I didn’t notice. Like a goddamn beginner I only glanced at the surface and didn’t go deeper because I wasn’t sure I should over that distance. I could have stopped this before it started and I didn’t.”

“No, you were respecting my mind, you were doing the right thing. They were the ones abusing me. This happened to me Quentin Quire, not you.” Jimmy reached out and put his hand on Quentin’s cheek and made sure that not only were they looking at each other but that Quentin was looking directly into his eyes, “They invaded my mind, they manipulated me. Not you. Not realizing that there was a problem is not the same as hurting me. Hard stop, no discussion.”

There was a pause and then he said, for now more or less accepting, “I’m glad you didn’t just try to say my full name there.” Really getting over this would take a few days of reassuring himself he wasn’t at fault but that was life.

“You’re an ass.” Jimmy just laid back and gave up. “I’m too tired to argue. Whatever you gotta do, do it, but I need a beer and a steak when we can guilt someone into bringing’em.”

“Beer and steak … yeah, that calls for asking Scotty. He is good at that because he’s been feeding your Dad for like more than a decade.” Quentin reached out and was not surprised when Scott simply agreed. “Beer and steak coming right up. Now kiss me and let me work.”

* * *

Part of him felt like a bad boyfriend. He’d seen to everything and everyone before he started down the hall to Daken’s room. This was part of being team leader though, his personal concerns had to come last at times like these. Hisako was as good as new and had an unexpected admirer in Gabby who had partnered with Logan to bring cupcakes of questionable appearance to her bedside. Jimmy and Quentin were fine, tucked into bed, looking adorable together just waiting for dinner. Illyana seemed to be satisfied with events and was more than happy to look after things in general while the others rested. Bobby had checked in with Scott, whom he found cooking steak for Jimmy, and with Kitty as well. Given the current state of the power change, it seemed only right to inform both of them. Now all that was left was checking on the person he had most wanted to see since he’d turned up missing in the first place.

Bobby had no idea what sort of reception he would receive. Daken had gone off on his own, in the middle of the night, and sought help from Loki to do … Bobby wasn’t sure what. Before all of this happened he hadn’t even been aware that _‘The Kennel’_ existed. It did, and it had housed that monster. Bobby couldn’t imagine what Daken had been there to do if it wasn’t to kill him. Part of him didn’t want to know. Part of him wanted out of this insanity. Those were small parts though. In reality Bobby was used to dealing with insane things. Actual Cyber Samurai being one of them. Trips into his own past being another. His actual past self coming forward in time, being the host of the death seed, and the focus of no less than three hate groups another. Daken having his own personal creep squad sucked, but it wasn’t the weirdest or freakiest thing in his life. So he knocked on the door and came in without hesitation. Ready to face whatever mood he found Daken in. 

The sight of Daken, freshly showered, laying on his bed, with a small cat on his chest was not at all what Bobby had prepared himself for. A pacing, frustrated and frightened Daken, sure. A Daken that was wild with devil may care energy, alright. This though? This was so charming and adorable that it seemed unreal. Bobby stood there, the door falling shut by itself behind him, and stared, “Hi?”

“Hello Snowflake.” Daken did not look over, his eyes were focused on the purring ball of fur on his chest. Somehow the kitten had managed to stop his pacing, make him sit down, then lay down and finally calm down. Daken was not entirely sure how but it had happened and now she was happily purring and napping – on his chest because apparently she liked to be there. Laura had seemed delighted to find him resting instead of tearing apart the room in frustration. His little sister had left about twenty minutes ago after repeated reassurance that Daken was _not_ about to lose it. “Snowflake meet Yuki, she’s busy sleeping.”

“When did you get a cat?” Bobby stood there flabbergasted by the pure, sweet sight. 

“Loki gave her to me.” Looking at Bobby now he sighed, “Seems this is how I'm paying him back for helping me. Raising a rather large kitten.”

“That’s a kitten? It’s your kitten? Her name is Yuki?” It was clear that Bobby was having a hard time with these concepts. It was also clear that he was trying very hard to work through them, “That’s a freaking big kitten. Also why does she look like her fur is made of actual spun silver?”

“Yes, this is a kitten and her name is Yuki. She’s an Asgardian kitten which explains the size I suppose, and her lovely cloud like fur.” Daken smiled a little as he stroked down her back. She was so soft and warm.

“This is the strangest bargain I’ve ever heard of and I’ve heard of some strange things.” Bobby took a few steps forward. “So, this feels awkward but I don’t know how to be not awkward so I’m just going to talk. We need to talk, and if now isn’t a good time, or you just need me to be supportive then that’s fine. I don’t want things between us to change, I just need us to talk.”

“Come here.” Daken motioned and patted the mattress next to him. “I’m not disturbing the sleeping kitten. If you want to talk you’ll have to come sit with me.”

Without any complaint Bobby took his shoes off and his vest before getting into the bed with Daken. He laid on his side and propped his head up on one hand. “So hi. It’s good to have you home.”

“You’re still in your suit. Didn’t even shower before coming here, hu? Figured you would.” Daken shrugged, “And yeah, I said I would always come back, didn’t I? I don’t make promises if I don’t intend to keep them.”

“Yeah, you said that and made it sound like you were going off to die in your letter. You’re lucky Zach has a big mouth, that Laura interrogated Logan, or we wouldn’t have figured out where you were going in time to show up and stop whatever was happening from happening.” Bobby shook his head and frowned deeply. 

Silence followed and it was not the comfortable, easy kind that normally happened between them. There was tension in the air, thick and heavy. After a few moments Daken did sit up, gently sat the kitten down and got off the bed. This was not something he wanted to talk about. None of what had happened was something he wanted to talk about. But hell, he had done this and he owed some sort of explanation to the people who had saved his pathetic, sorry ass.

“I’ve been planning how to get into that prison for months. Ever since I learned _he_ was alive. I knew I couldn’t just stroll in there, it’s not that simple so I contacted Loki when I finally figured out how to do it. I knew that Romulus was involved with Jimmy’s situation somehow, I had smelled a scent painfully similar to his when that helicopter took Jimmy. It only furthered my need to see that he was indeed alive and in prison.” Daken pulled a bottle of scotch from the cupboard and filled a tumbler, “I went there to kill him. I couldn’t.”

Bobby watched from his position on the bed. Yuki mewed twice and then curled up on his chest, so without really thinking about it Bobby began petting the cat. Her fur was incredibly soft and silky. It was surprisingly dense and if he’d not been so focused on Daken Bobby would have commented. “That’s a sticky one. Either the messed up things he did to you are still protecting him, or killing’s becoming more difficult. I … I don’t really know what to say.”

“Ha, killing is the simplest thing in the world, Drake.” The laugh was toneless and short, followed by sharp words. “You think just because I am playing nice with you people I am suddenly not the same twisted murderer I’ve always been? You think that some positive reinforcements and love is all it takes to make the devil into a saint?” Daken narrowed his eyes, “You’ve got no idea how much I want this monster dead, you cannot even begin to understand what he’s done to me and how badly I need him to be gone and to never, ever fucking return again.”

“I didn’t say you didn’t want to kill him. I didn’t even say that I knew killing was getting hard, I said it could be either of those things.” Bobby sighed and sat up, criss crossing his legs. Yuki settled happily in his lap. “I’m not mad or disgusted or any other stupid thing over you wanting this monster dead. X-men don’t kill, except for X-force, except for when situation Y or whatever. The truth is sometimes a monster has to be put down. This monster stole something like sixty years from you. I’m not going to tell you to show him mercy.”

It took some of the fire out of him but that only left him more shaken and drained. Vulnerable. And the last thing Daken wanted to be right now was vulnerable. “One line.” He looked at Bobby, “One line was all it took and I went back into his arms. What he took wasn’t sixty years, what he took was, _is_ , everything. I play at being human, somewhat at least, but I’m not. I’m nothing. I’m a fucking doll -” He paused and then laughed bitterly, “Yes, a literal _fucking_ doll.”

Rather than stay where he was and try to talk reason Bobby got up and put his arms around Daken. The kitten mewed but that was of no concern to him. Bobby held on and shook his head against Daken’s shoulder. “You’re not a thing. You aren’t some piece of property. You’re homosuperior. You’re real.”

The touch made him tense but he didn’t draw back or protest against it. Standing there he just breathed for a moment and then whispered, “I was twelve … the first time he did it, I was a child. And I would’ve let him again if you hadn’t come because I _can’t_ say no.”

Twelve was young, too young, too innocent. The idea of it nearly closed Bobby's throat but he forced himself to speak, “I did come though.” Bobby leaned back and looked Daken in the eyes, “If Zach hadn’t talked, if I’d gotten there late, and that monster had had time to rape you again, I would have still brought you home. I would still want you Daken.” _I would still love you._ “It doesn’t matter what was done to you, not in this sense. You are not what he did, you are not the trauma.” 

It was too much. Daken felt his knees give and then he was clinging to Bobby, kneeling there and crying silently even as he wanted to scream. Romulus was alive. He was free. He still held all the cards and could control him. But not just that, no, no it got even better because now he could remember that it had never been just Romulus. There had been two and that knowledge at least filled a gap that always bothered him. Daken had never been able to remember when and where he had first been with a woman, he just remembered already knowing exactly what to do. Now he’d rather go back to not remembering.

“Oh Kitten.” Bobby went down on his knees and hugged Daken close. His heart ached and he hated himself for not knowing what to do or say. His hands tried, they made valiant efforts to stroke and pet Daken’s hair, and he made soothing sounds in his chest. “I’m sorry, oh Daken, I’m so sorry.”

Daken didn’t say anything. He wasn’t sure he could have even managed to get words out right then, much less without sobbing like the pathetic pile of shit he was. So all he did was hold onto Bobby like he was the only real thing in the world and cry silently.

“I’m taking you back to the bed.” Bobby got one arm around the backs of Daken’s legs and the other about his shoulders before standing up. Daken was not light, but Bobby was not weak. It was also not far to the bed. 

The moment Daken was sat down again there was a silvery ball of fur back on his chest and he was being headbutted by the purring kitten. Almost as if she wanted to sooth him too. Daken pushed his fingers through her soft fur and then cuddled close to Bobby.

“You don’t go after those freaks without me.” These were the words Bobby had been wanting to say. His fingers brushed away the tears. “Obviously you trust me, or you wouldn’t have agreed to be on my team, or to date me, or kiss me, or any of that. So trust me, you aren’t going after them without me.”

 _< Yes Captain.  > _Daken sighed softly and kept petting the cat, not sure what else to say or do.

“I know those words, I’m holding you to it.” Bobby hugged Daken closer and kissed his shoulder. “I mean it Daken. We will come up with a plan and we will handle this together. Maybe it’s not something for the Purple team to take on. Maybe this is more of a family matter. Maybe it’s just us. Whatever the case, when you go after him next I’m going to be there.”

“Go after him next? Did you miss the part where he was revealed to have a goddamn Adamantium skeleton? The literal only way I could think of using to kill him is now completely impossible. Nothing cuts Adamantium except _maybe_ pure Vibranium and good luck getting your hands on that.”

“So the plan is to what? Play keep away?” Bobby shook his head, “There’s got to be another way … Logan hates water over his head. I’ve seen him deal with it, but he hates it. He’s too heavy to float and drowning is possible even for him. Wouldn’t that hold true for Romulus?”

“Sure we can try throwing him into the mariana trench whole but I feel like that’s not going to cover the _God_ part.”

Bobby took a deep breath and looked down at Yuki. Now that the two of them were in the bed she seemed to be content. Bobby would have liked very much for both of them to be cats just then. If all they had to worry about was food, water, shelter, and where to shit their lives would have been a lot simpler. “Gods can die. Logan had a sword that he seemed to think could handle that sort of thing.”

“Muramasa’s blade.” Daken sighed and then chuckled, “I thought so too. You know, that blade, the pseudo metal it was made from, it could permanently injure anyone. And I mean anyone, so him and me and Laura and so on, too. But I still put it in my body and oh that wasn’t fun at all but I was waiting to get close to Romulus … and when I was, Logan took that chance right from under me.”

“Because Logan is a professional idiot.” Bobby nodded and sighed. It wasn’t really working out, this idea that they could figure out how to take care of this monster. Bobby wanted to point out that they’d killed Sinister and Apocalypse but those guys came back, all the time. “That sword, it’s totally out of the question now isn’t it?”

“Yes. First I broke off a part to use on my claws and then the Orphans of X used the rest to be made into bullets and shoot us all in the brain with them. Fun times, I died for like ten hours. But yeah, while there are a handful of bullets left, we decided they are too dangerous to keep and the maker has them now.”

“They are dangerous, and I suppose the maker can be trusted, at least more than most.” Bobby bit his bottom lip and thought quietly for a moment, “We need to research. If Loki gave you a cat maybe he’ll give you information. Maybe I can talk to Hercules. I don’t know that this Romulus monster and his redhead sister are gods, but if they are or are god adjacent there’s got to be information we can get on them.”

“Could just make a new blade. Though I doubt Muramasa would do it for free again. Guy is actually quite well known for being … difficult. Not that I particularly like the idea of ripping part of my soul out _again_ but …”

“That … that’s how the thing is made? You have your soul ripped out?” Bobby’s eyes went wide. “That sounds like it hurts, a lot. That sounds horrible!”

Daken chuckled, “Let’s put it like this; I’ve been through a lot of pain but compared to having a piece of my soul taken, little else holds a candle to that.”

It was not much comfort. Bobby wasn’t sure if a soul was like a renewable resource. He wasn’t sure if more could be taken from Daken, he wasn’t sure if different souls did different things. He wasn’t sure if they could even get Muramasa to make another sword. There were too many variables with unknown quantities for him to rely on the outcome of this equation. Still it was one of the better leads they had. “Maybe Illyana and her Soulsword could do something to him. Maybe. It seemed like he didn’t like it. Still, we can’t use that without Yana, which means that we’d have to include her in any plan we made.”

“I don’t want someone else to kill him. It’s not fair.” 

“Life isn’t … no you know what that’s a bunch of shit, I can’t even finish saying it.” Bobby shook his head. “Yana is the last ditch back up plan that we use if something nightmare level happens. We beg her to try to slay the maybe a god. Otherwise you’re right.” Bobby nodded his head and cupped Daken’s face. Yuki reached up and put her paw on Bobby’s hand, “You do it. No questions asked.” 

“Thank you.” It was more whisper than anything else and Daken close his eyes as he leaned into the touch.

For a little while they were both quiet. Each of them just laid there, soaking up the comfort of the other. Yuki laid with them and Bobby wondered if he’d already become used to her small fuzzy self being part of these moments. _You said you love me._ Bobby swallowed and tried to decide what to do next, what to say. _You ran off into mortal peril and left me a note, written in Japanese, saying you love me._ Bobby took a deep breath and then asked, “Are you hungry?”

“I’m not even sure. Everything feels … off.” Daken shook his head, “More booze would be nice though. Lots more. My arm hurts.”

“Your bone claws.” Bobby nodded understanding. “It hurts like the first moment after stubbing your foot, or like stepping on legos over and over, or that’s the look I seen on Logan’s face when it happens.” Bobby sighed and shook his head, “I think food is going to be better than booze, though I’m no expert.” 

“Did you hear that Yuki? Did you hear my nagging boyfriend being all _I’m no expert but eat and stop drinking_?” Daken picked her up and held her, she mewed at him, tail swishing about. “Yes, I agree. My boyfriend is no fun but he is sadly right.”

“No fun? You just don’t appreciate quality New York pizza.” It was good to see Daken joking, even if Bobby was sure he was masking deep pain. _One line, all it took was a sentence and this Romulus guy had Daken following along. All it took was us showing up to shock him out of it though. When Daken looked at me I saw it, something snapped._ Bobby pulled his phone out of his pocket and started the process of ordering pizza. _Whatever happens next, you’ll face it with me there to make sure you can do what needs doing on your own terms._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Finnlay**
> 
> I tend to avoid writing any notes because that just gives more work to myself in terms of formating but I have a few things to say today. If you read this fic, please also read [About TDYK](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/post/177195600242/about-tdyk) because it covers a lot of the things I want to point out. Not all of them though.
> 
> \--------------------
> 
> **Hi there, Nausi here!**  
>  Finn’s summary for this chapter really captures the mood here. Those questions aren’t fully answered in this chapter either. What was done to Jimmy? What are the repercussions? What does it mean for him to remember his life from before coming to the reality he now resides in? What are the consequences of these new revelations for Daken? How will he cope with the reality of Romulus’ freedom? There’s a lot to unpack and one chapter isn’t enough. We’ll see these questions come up time and again as the story moves on.
> 
> There were several people who reached out to us with strong reactions after chapter 48. I want to encourage everyone to read both the summary of each chapter and the tags/warnings. Finn or I will always be willing to talk to any reader who is hesitant about the content they are going into. We understand that the desire to experience a story can be at odds with keeping oneself safe. We will do whatever we can to help our readers, including summing up the events of a chapter so that you don’t have to miss out if you believe reading the chapter would be unhealthy for you. If you read a chapter and feel that we could have warned better for something please do reach out to us. We will absolutely take your suggestion seriously. 
> 
> Thank you all again for reading. We are, as always, looking forward to your comments.


	50. Chapter 50

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Telepathy has many applications. Quentin hadn’t counted on it being turned on him quite the way Daken does though ...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape, Trauma, Mindscape, Telepathy, Psychological Damage, Parent/Child Bonding, Disassociation, Coma, Altered Psychological State
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Though Logan had no reason to think Daken wanted his help Logan figured he’d be a shit parent if he didn’t at least offer. It may not have been the best motivation but it was the thing that had tipped him over the edge. It felt selfish to come around because he was worried. Daken didn’t owe him anything. However, he’d made a commitment to trying to be a better parent. He knew Daken was in the room and that Drake was not there. He also knew there was an Asgardian kitten in the room. His curiosity made it into his voice after he knocked, “S’me. Won’t take long.”

“It’s open.” Daken’s voice sounded distracted and it would be difficult to tell if he was even noticing who was knocking. His focus lied with the task he had picked to occupy himself with. It turned out that curious kittens and art did not mix but if Yuki wanted to play with the colors so badly, then it was not his fault that she would get her first bath from him later.

It was quite the sight. The silver colored kitten of impossible size had a myriad of colors on her paws. Daken had the same on his hands, and up to his elbows. There was paper, which the kitten was rolling on, and Daken was drawing. From his vantage point it looked like sakura. “Never knew you were an artist.”

As the kitten perked up and jumped from the coffee table to inspect the new person, Daken raised his head as well. “Oh, it’s you.” Making a thoughtful sound he refocused on his drawing, “There are many things you don’t know about me, Logan. Though this isn’t exactly art so much as therapy. Turns out that Therapists like to make you do things you once enjoyed.”

“Suppose it can be both.” He knelt down and smiled at the kitten. “Where'd your new friend come from?”

“Asgard. Loki has a sense of humor I suppose.” Daken glanced over and watched as Yuki sniffed at his Father and then headbutted the offered hand, wanting to be petted and loved.

“When did you get close with that walking train wreck?” Logan let the kitten get color on his hands and scritched behind her ear. 

“I’m not close to Loki. It’s called a business agreement.” 

Logan grinned and scritched under her chin, “A business agreement that ends in pussy. Guess you came out on top.”

“Mmh, sex jokes. How tasteful and classy.” Daken rolled his eyes and then got up with a sigh. The drawing was done and he was sore from sitting on the floor for hours. It would pass quickly but for a moment it was rather annoying.

“Who said I was either o’ those things?”

“No one.” Looking at Logan he sighed again, “Why are you here? Come to see me miserable? Give me a lecture on revenge and abandoning my team?”

Logan sat down on the floor and let the kitten climb on him. Either the chalky pastel stuff would wash out or it would not. Logan didn't care. “Try to be less like me. There, satisfied?”

“Go fuck yourself.” Daken said it without any fire in his tone, he wasn’t in the mood to even pretend. “I was going to talk to you tomorrow but since you’re already here …” As he spoke Daken washed the color off his hands and arms in the small kitchen sink before grabbing his phone and texting Quire. “I think there’s a whole lot of things you don’t remember and it’s time you do.”

“Yeah? The last time I had to face all the holes in my memory wasn't so pleasant. Not really sure I'm into diving back into that.” Logan sighed and watched his son, “I don't get a choice do I?”

“After the whole drowning me in a puddle thing, I think I can tell you to suck it up and deal with it. Fair is fair.”

Logan sighed and shrugged. There was no arguing with that. “What do I need to do?”

“Quire is going to show up in a minute or so. We’ll see what he has to say about memories.”

With another long sigh Logan looked up at his son, “So it was at least as bad as I’m imagining it was?”

There was a pause as they both just stood there and looked at each other. Daken tried to decide if he trusted Logan enough to tell him anything about what had happened or if the anger and the years of mutual dislike and betrayal were still weighing too heavily. Eventually he shrugged and turned, “Sit down.” It didn’t surprise him when Logan ignored the invitation to settle on the couch and actually get comfortable. Grabbing a beer from the fridge that he kept around for the sole purpose of giving to either Jimmy or Logan, he passed it over before saying, “All it took was one line out of his mouth to make me go back into his arms. Think you can imagine how I feel about that.”

Before speaking Logan took a long pull from the bottle. It was a hard thing to hear, knowing what he did about the way that monster had treated his son. Logan was finding that the more he tried, the more ability to care he found in himself. Where as before he’d been mostly numb these days he found himself caring and feeling a lot more than he ever believed possible. Sometimes it made him want to walk out into the ocean. Most of the time it made him want to _do_ something. There was nothing he could do for Daken. Logan looked at his son and said, “Like a dog gettin’ it’s chain pulled. It didn’t last though. You’re back here.”

“More like Pavlov’s dogs with the bell and the food but same basic concept yes.” Daken swallowed and sat down, exhaustion showing for a brief moment before he pulled the mask back in place. “I’m back because they made the mistake of involving my family _and_ not being prepared for Bobby showing up. He’s a bit possessive.”

“Kid’s in love with you.” Logan didn’t know when Quire was showing up, but he hoped he’d have the good sense to wait a moment if he were already at the door. “I’ve never seen Drake like this before. Still I want you to know, I’m not givin’ you a shovel talk, I don’t expect you to hurt him.”

“Slow it with the big L-word there. Attraction doesn’t equal love. He’ll be over me before I get the chance to hurt him.” Waving a hand he looked away, clearly not comfortable with the idea that Bobby was that deep in this.

“I’ve seen him fake it, I’ve seen him crush on men, I’ve watched how he was with Warren. I know Drake.” Logan took another pull off the beer, “You need to get comfortable with the facts. Drake’s in love with you. He looks at you the way I looked at …” Logan shrugged and went back to drinking. 

“Scott Summers? Yeah, I noticed that when you got all worried about him while I was trying to kill him.” Daken huffed and was glad when the knock finally came. “It’s open.”

“No, really? Who would’ve guessed …” Quentin closed the door behind himself and gave Daken a look that was returned with the same expression of mild amusement and annoyance. “You text like an old man by the way. All that proper punctuation and even capital letters.”

Rather than speak up Logan picked the kitten up and started to pet her. _Last pleasant thing that’ll happen to me for a while if this is gonna be as shit as I think it is._

“Technically, I am an old man.” Daken shrugged and then continued, “You up for this? I know you’ve been busy with Jimmy and you got injured -”

“I’m not made of glass.” Rolling his eyes he motioned for them as he settled down on the fluffy carpet, “Sit down with me, close your eyes, deep breath – yadda yadda, I think you know how it works.”

Logan shrugged and and left the beer on the coffee table. Once he was settled down with Quire Logan grunted, “You two better be ready to restrain me.”

With a roll of his eyes Daken came over and settled down as well, “This is a threeway show.”

“Do not make that sound so sexual. It creeps me out.” Shaking his head Quentin looked at Logan, “It seems that both of you have altered memories on a ridiculously large scale. And while he had his memories triggered, you didn’t. So connecting both of you is a simpler, less stressful way to make you remember as well.”

“Kinda like that time you had Xavier fuck around in my brain.” Daken supplied helpfully.

“Thought I remembered it all after M-day.” With a grunt he shrugged, “So you’re gonna what? Try to trigger me by linkin’ our minds up?” Logan cocked his head. 

“Yes, that’s what I’ll be doing. Or at least trying to do. Who knows what kind of mess whoever did it made in either of your minds. I know yours is ‘Pan’s Labyrinth’ kind of insane and confusing. His is just blocked off with about five million traps.”

Logan shrugged and then placed himself in a near perfect lotus posture, complete with the backs of his hands resting on his knees, fingers curled into a relaxing mudra. “Hit me with it bub.”

Daken gave a nod so Quentin closed his own eyes and touched both of their minds, drawing them all into Logan’s. It had been a while since Quentin himself was in here and what he found was less than pleasant. The sight of the garden would have been nice if it weren’t for the dead plants and trees. Or the house that was falling apart in the background.

“This … this isn’t like last time.” Daken looked around and then frowned deeply as he approached the tree, “It’s dead.”

Logan opened his eyes. He was seated here in his mindscape the same way he was in the real world. It was not a pleasant sight, but that wasn’t unexpected. “Shit happened. Let’s get on with this.”

“Alright, I’m going to basically play his memories of the encounter for you. Now, this isn’t going to be fun for you Daken but -”

“Just get to it. I know this isn't going to be pleasant. ”

“You two give me a headache.” Rolling his eyes he tugged the memory of what happened in the prison out of Daken’s head, putting it on replay as he connected Logan to it. The process was simple. Keeping both of these assholes stable and not letting either freak out – not so much.

Logan’s body tensed, and the atmosphere of the garden darkened. It was clear that what he was experiencing hurt and disturbed him. The cherry tree in front of Logan gave an audible crack and the branches curled almost as if they were being burnt. When the woman appeared Logan went white as a sheet. He sat there, eyes staring. When she laughed in the memory it looked almost as if Logan might vomit. The green hue his face had turned stuck around as the cherry tree continued to crinkle and curl about itself. 

Quentin could do little more than be supportive and sooth some of the pain. If he interfered too much it would just mess with things. Logan needed to remember and Daken was putting himself through this a second time for it. Quentin wasn’t going to have him do it for a third time just because Logan wasn’t having a happy time with it.

The replay stopped when Daken laid eyes on Bobby. Logan felt something, and then it stopped, and he was left to contend with the rush of memories. His eyes burned, and he felt his chest constrict with pain and emotion. One word made it past his lips, “Remus.”

“Yeah.” Daken licked his lips and swallowed, throat dry and hands shaking even as he tried to hide it by sticking them in the pockets of the hoodie he had snatched from Bobby’s closet. “Remus. The other half of the story.”

“How many times …” Logan shook his head and tried not to give into the feeling in his gut. He turned his face away and winced remembering the most recent encounter with this red haired seductress, and then a visit from another woman … The scent was one of the things that came back to him the strongest. She had a scent about her like the harvest, like fresh earth, like abundance and warm sweet fruit, mixed with that flowery perfume she favored. Logan wretched on one of the memories and leaned over, unable to maintain his composure as his entire world twisted and rumbled with the disgust. 

_< Father.  > _Daken reached over and took Logan’s hand in his, not sure what to say but for once able to understand the man’s pain in ways that were almost too much.

Logan pulled himself to his feet and kept hold of his son’s hand. Their eyes met and Logan felt again that same shame he’d felt when he confronted Daken about Romulus being alive, “When Romulus escaped Cloak’s grasp she came to me, and posed as an ally, made me think I’d forgotten how we'd always rebelled against him, played me like a fool, used me.”

“Happens.” Daken shrugged and then added, “I intend to kick her ass into the freaking sun so she can’t ever pull that shit again.”

“This entire thing has been a game hasn’t it? The way he revealed himself to me, how he twisted our meeting, making me second guess myself so I wouldn’t kill the bastard …”

“Yes. Everything has always been nothing but a game. They are two children, bored of the world, playing games to keep themselves amused. I guess that happens when you live for so long.” Daken looked away for a moment and then sighed, “I want them dead but who knows if they even can be killed.”

“You need help figurin’ that out it might be that I can help.” Logan looked between the two young men, and then let his eyes settle back on Daken, “I know people, though Loki might be a better place to start than most, and it sounds like you already got a connection with him.”

“Too much to think about right now.” Pushing his hands through his hair he sighed and then shifted nervously, “Can I … make a request?”

Logan nodded. The ground had stabilized but he was sure that had more to do with Quire’s efforts than his own mental strength. “Anything.”

“Mother … I’d like to see her again, the way you remember her.” It was stupid. He wasn’t a child, he shouldn’t be clinging so much to the one chance he had to actually see her but he was. Had ever since it happened.

Those words touched on an old pain, and a deep shame. Still Logan did not hesitate or even consider denying Daken. He looked to his other child and arched a brow, “Quire, can you manage that?”

“Sure.” Quentin had been silent to not intrude on an intimate bonding moment and he kept the answer short even now. It took him a moment to find the memory but then they were all standing at the lake, surrounded by blooming cherry trees. It was quite beautiful.

This was it. Daken glanced at the trees but his eyes quickly settled on the beautiful woman in her pink kimono. She looked so much like him, or rather, he looked so much like her. That same silky black hair and similar features. His eyes were the color of Logan’s but they had the shape of hers. His mother. Itsu. It was so peaceful and quiet here, surrounded by trees and the soft sounds of running water and chirping birds. _I’ll just stay here. Nothing can hurt here._

Itsu was painting. A fact that only became apparent after some time of viewing the memory. Logan didn’t remember what she had been painting that day, only that she had often spent her time in that way. The moments stretched on as they watched. Logan felt a tear roll down his cheek. She was a beautiful person, self possessed, graceful, and full of a kind understanding. Logan thought it was something that could be seen and felt just by observing her, even in a quiet moment like this. 

Quentin let them have their moment but eventually he started to pull them back. He was indeed spending a lot of time and energy on sorting out the mess in Jimmy’s mind so he wasn’t able to just keep them connected for a few hours and let them have at it. Opening his eyes he blinked a few times and then said, “That was a really nice memory there. Good way to follow up on creepy redheads.”

Logan shook his head and tried not to think about it. There would be time for that in his nightmares. “I owe you for that Quire, all o’ it, but especially that last bit. You let me know what I can do when you think o’ somethin’.”

“Spend some time with your blonde sort of offspring. Jimmy’s not doing half as well as he pretends.” Quentin sighed and then yawned, “Now I need a snack and a -” He paused and looked at Daken who still hadn’t moved an inch, “Hey, you okay?”

Logan turned to look at Daken and saw it right away. It was a marvel that Daken was even still upright. “He isn’t there. He’s back with Itsu.”

Quentin frowned and reached out tentative only to hit a wall and be pushed away. “Ow, man - he has shut off. That’s not healthy … but considering the trauma he went through maybe a break isn’t the worst idea. I don’t know, I’m not a therapist. Yet.”

“You tell Drake, I’ll talk to Laura and Gabby when they show up.” Logan scopped Daken up into his arms and carried him to the bed. There he made sure his son was comfortable, and tried not to think of the parallels this moment had to that time he’d cut the muramasa out of Daken’s wrists. The kitten mewed curiously and Logan swallowed, “I’ll stay with him.”

“Yeah.” Quentin nodded and got off the floor. As he turned his eyes caught sight of the sketch and he picked it up, frowning. “Hey, this … you think he was planning this?” Looking at Logan he held the paper to him, “It’s quite the coincidence if not.”

“Maybe, come on, it’s not like Daken doesn’t like _sakura_ look at his arm.” Logan shrugged and sighed. “He said he wasn’t plannin’ to do this till tomorrow, didn’t seem to wanna hear it when I told him Drake’s in love with him, but he didn’t feel like a man ready to commit himself to oblivion either.”

“Hm.” Making a thoughtful sound he put the paper back down and then headed for the door, “I’ll go tell Drake. Just let him rest for now, it’s not dangerous to withdraw for a while. Only a problem if he doesn’t want to come back at all.”

“This is my son, he does nothing by halves.” Logan looked at Quire meaningfully, “You should know that, considering you're the only boy I ever picked.”

“Yeah … I know.” Sighing softly he shook his head and left. Already considering how difficult it would be to work around Daken’s mental defenses and if he could even do that alone. Maybe not. Probably not. There were other telepaths around though so it wasn’t that much of an issue. _Daken, next time warn me at least. I don’t like being used, asshat._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hello all, Nausi here.**  
>  I don’t have much new to say this time. I just wanted to pop in and reassure everyone that we are not writing a tragedy. I also want to remind people that Daken has undergone a full lifetime's worth of trauma. He’s done things he cannot reconcile, things that been done to him which are unspeakable. He’s had to face the reality that he was never more than a means to an end. This isn’t even Fanon. If you’ve read Daken’s origins you already know that Daken’s life has been something out a nightmare. 
> 
> It is painful to watch him continue this cycle, but we have to recognize that he’s had at least 40-60 years of trauma depending on how the sliding time scale works. (He was born just after World War II, he’s just a little younger than Magneto.) Yes he’s had 5 or 6 years out from under Romulus, but how much of that time was he actually trying to better himself? It seems like that’s only been since right before he enters All New Wolverine during the Roosevelt Island arc. Daken’s recovery is very new and recovery is not linear. He’s a fictional character, and it’s okay to be upset with him, frustrated with him, and Finn and I. It’s painful to see this. However, I ask that you practice holding space for someone, and meeting them where they are. If you can do it with a fictional character you might be able to do it for someone in your life who really needs that compassion. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading. All feedback and thoughts are welcome and highly desired. 


	51. Chapter 51

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken doesn’t show any signs of wanting to wake up any time soon. Given the level of stress this is putting on multiple people, Quentin decides something has to be done and so he and Rachel come up with a plan. Bobby is in for a ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Violence, Implied/Referenced Grooming, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Psychological Damage, Trauma, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Relationship Building, Trust Building, Telepathy, Mindscape Travel, Sexual Themes
> 
>  **Note:** If you have not read the five published prequel chapters to TDYK, it's a good time to do now. Before or after this chapter. Here is the Link to it - [Bleed the life from me](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14618259/chapters/33783696)
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)   
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Daken hadn’t been alone since it happened. No one said it, but everyone was a little worried that if they weren’t watching him Daken would just disappear. Still, at first no one was that worried. Quentin had said that Daken might just wake up. He’d encouraged them to talk to him, read to him, talk to each other, and let the cat lay with him. Any of that stimulus, or just time, might be enough. As time wore on, as hours turned to days Bobby moved beyond worry and well into full fright. He and Gabby actually seemed to be on the same page more or less. She was as moody and difficult as he, and equally as unwilling to leave his side. Laura seemed calm but Bobby had a feeling that she was just as upset but trying to be strong for everyone else. Jimmy spent a lot of time in Daken’s room, and made sure that certain things were taken care of, like the cat box, and switching sheets and changing Daken’s shirt, and so on. Bobby was grateful for the dedication and help. He couldn’t stop himself feeling a bit responsible for Daken even though Laura was the one with the strongest and longest lived bond. 

Logan’s visits were short, but he brought food with him for whoever was sitting at the bedside, and as they were nearing the fifty five hour mark he was one of the people urging for action. Bobby wasn’t sure what they could or should do. Villains he could fight, a kidnapped friend he could rescue, but this was something else all together. It was a bit like watching someone die, only Daken was very much alive and they all knew that there was _something_ that could but done. The question was what?

It was quiet in the room. Gabby had come with him to relieve Jimmy in the early morning. Now she was curled up in the bed with Daken and Yuki, sleeping. Bobby had pulled a chair from the common area in yesterday and was seated there with his phone in his hands, and his eyes on Daken’s face. _Please come back Daken. You can leave the school, break up with me, just come back._

They entered the room as quietly as they could and Quentin made sure to give Bobby’s mind a little nudge so he wouldn’t jump in surprise. More than forty eight hours had passed and Jimmy was starting to be fidgety and nervous so Quentin had given in. Someone had to try to bring Daken back. He wasn’t sure that was a task for a single person though and that was why he had brought Rachel along. Out of all the options he had, Rachel was the only one he knew how to work with _and_ felt comfortable with. “Hey …” His voice stayed barely above a whisper as he settled next Bobby, “You look tired.”

“That’s because I am.” Bobby took a deep breath and then let it out. He looked over at his friends and shook his head. “There’s no change. He’ll drink if we prop him up and put a cup to his lips. Eventually he’s going to need to use the bathroom and this is just … even he can’t exist like this forever.”

“In theory he could do this for quite some time though.” Quentin shrugged and then reached up to fluff Bobby’s hair, “But we aren’t letting him. You should take Gabby to Laura while we get ready to deal with this.”

When Bobby stood up Rachel was there and her arms went around him without a word. Bobby leaned into it and let himself be supported for a moment. He couldn’t help thinking how proud of her Scott had to be. When Bobby let go he turned to Gabby and scooped her up. “Hey, Honey Badger. Jonathan needs you.”

“Who’s gonna stay with Ken?” Gabby rubbed at her eyes a little and snuggled up to Bobby’s chest, really only half awake. 

“Rachel and Quen are here, and Yuki is still in bed with him.” Bobby smiled a little for her despite the pit in his stomach.

Gabby nodded, “Okay.”

Bobby looked to his friends, “I’ll be back.” And then hurried while he had some momentum, before he felt the urge to sit back down. 

“The only thing that I ever wanted to do less than this was wear a dress.” Quentin sighed as he pulled off his glasses and set them aside. “I’ve only glanced at his mind in the most superficial way but I can tell you this is going to be … unpleasant. To put it mildly.”

“That is what I've heard.” Rachel sighed and took a look around the room. After a moment she started moving furniture. “I'm not looking forward to it either, but it's better than waiting him out.”

“Asshole used me to get away from reality. I don’t appreciate being used.” Sighing he floated a bunch of fluffy pillows over to the couch and went to grab a bottle of water for them both. “I’m gonna ruin his fun.”

“Maybe that was the plan.” There was little brightness in her voice. Rachel was just far enough from this situation not to be caught up in the anxiety. Daken seemed to her like a decent enough person, someone with demons and a history, but not someone to write off. He was Logan’s son, and Logan was apparently dating her dad which meant that Scott Summers cared about this. There was nothing for him to do though, and that meant that he was compensating. Rachel was ready to have this fixed to put an end to that if nothing else. 

“Me ruining his fun? I have to seriously question the point of that but Daken is just this side of crazy enough to do something like that.” Sighing he settled down and passed a bottle to her. “Alright, you ready for a major headache and ten years worth of nightmares?”

“You could say I was born for this sort of thing.” Rachel shrugged and got settled. When she opened the offered bottle Bobby returned, looking like he’d jogged from Laura’s room. “Bobby, good. Why don’t you lay down?”

“Me? Lay down?” Bobby looked around at what they’d done, the sofa was facing the bed and was filled with ever throw pillow in the room, plus the telepaths, and then back at the pair of them, “What?”

“You’re going to be to be -” He paused, made a thoughtful sound and then settled on, “The bridge between us and him. Daken doesn’t trust either of us. Okay, yeah, we sort of get along these days but trust is a whole different story. You though, he trusts you in ways I didn’t think he was capable of but here we are. So while our beautiful redhead handles stabilizing things, I’m going to take care of actually guiding you past the defenses. But from there … well, we will see. Depends on how willing Daken is to speak to you.”

Bobby swallowed and nodded. “Guess I better take off my shoes then.” He went through the motions, tried to prepare himself mentally, and wondered what it would be like. _Even growing up with a telepathic surrogate big sister, and an overbearing telepathic father figure, didn’t prepare me for this sort of thing._ Bobby got into Daken’s bed and laid down on his back, closed his eyes, and then reached for Daken’s hand. “I’m ready.” 

“We’ll need so much therapy after this …” Quentin took a last sip of water and then closed his eyes. This was going to be an interesting trip.

~~~~

Entering someone else’s mindscape was disorienting. It wasn’t the way most movies and games tried to make it seem, the few that touched on such things. Bobby felt himself physically there, but he also felt how he was affected by the experience. Most of the work was being done by Quen. Bobby was the cargo, or the bridge that was going up, or some other weird mixed metaphor. Mostly all he experienced for what felt like several long minutes were vague impressions. For a while everything was cold and Bobby felt as though he was going up forever, and yet never ever reaching the top of whatever strong cold thing he was flying up. There was a sensation of falling, falling forever, and then melding into the cold. When he came out the other side he’d taken on a recognizable form. He wasn’t wearing blue jeans anymore, instead he was in lounge pants which featured squirtle on the outer side of the left leg. His shirt had the neckline cut out of it, had a few holes in it, and was bright orange with the words ‘ _Insert pi here’_ printed in black across the chest with an arrow pointing towards his face. It was a stupid shirt he’d made years ago that he sometimes wore in the evenings. He noticed his furry tribble slippers and realized that he was dressed for movie night. Reaching up Bobby touched his hair, it was quite curly, and a bit longish. _I wonder what I look like._ The realization of self, of his idealized avatar within Daken’s mind happened fairly quickly, but not all at once. There was the actual mindscape itself to take in, and there was a lot to consider.

Bobby had been to Japan, more than once even. This space didn’t look like any part of Japan he’d seen but it was undeniably Japanese. It was a large library that seemed to extend several levels up. There were ladders on wheels in a few places around the room. The books were only interrupted by two things, a large wall to wall series of windows on the eastern side, and a small portion of the south wall where it met the east which was clearly some sort of reading nook. There was a low table, sort of like a _kotatsu_ but there was no welcoming blanket about it. Instead there was a vase of lovely little snowdrop flowers. Bobby recognized them easily because they were pretty and he was the sort of guy who liked to stay on brand. There were other tables around the room, all of them had flowers on them, there were sakura, lilies, carnations, and even marigolds of the flowers he could name. They didn’t seem to follow a theme, but Bobby was sure that they meant something. Daken was like that, everything had a meaning, and chances were it had something to do with the language of flowers.

As Bobby moved through the room he noticed that there was a niche on that southern wall with a wall scroll and a bit of incense. He wasn’t at all sure what it said but he knew it wasn’t hiragana or katakana. It was the more complex symbols that were borrowed from China drawn in such a way that their form was more painting than language. Bobby looked out the window at the beautiful garden and noticed a young dark haired boy walking towards the library. He was wearing a kimono which seemed strange to Bobby. He looked around the room, at the books, and at the tatami floor and thought again how this looked nothing like any place he’d ever been. When the boy came in from a door on the west side Bobby smiled and noted the beautiful blue eyes, “Hey there bitsy bud.”

The pair of blue eyes looked up at the stranger and Akihiro frowned. What an odd person. What odd clothing. And that language, he wasn’t sure what it was but it sounded vaguely familiar as if he had heard it in passing before. _< You don’t belong.  >_

 _[Quen! I need -]_ Before Bobby could finish the thought Quentin had begun translating for him. Bobby trusted the process and just opened his mouth, _< My name is Bobby. Maybe you know me as Snowflake. I’ve come to find my partner.  >_

 _< Oh, you are the snowdrop.  > _Akihiro looked over to the delicate white flowers that bloomed in the vase and smiled, _< He likes you more than anyone else.  >_

“Oh.” Bobby just stood there for a moment feeling stupid. He was filled with a wave of affection, but the situation he was in didn’t let him really enjoy it. _< Who are you?  >_

 _< Akihiro. I’m him before he became him.  > _The young boy paused and then shrugged, _< Does that make sense? I’m the memory of before everything went bad. He keeps all the things he loves with me so they can’t become tainted by him.  >_

It was a very strange thing to meet the child version of someone. It wasn’t new for Bobby, but it was still odd. This little boy did look like Daken. He squatted down and held out his hand. _< It’s nice to meet you Akihiro.  > That name, it’s how he signed the letter. Akihiro._

Taking the offered hand the boy shook it and then said, _< If you want to find him, you’ll have to go deeper. He doesn’t come here so he cannot taint what he wishes to protect.  > _The boy turned and pointed at the door, _< He is that way. He’s scared.  >_

 _< I’m afraid too.  >_ Bobby wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do but he pulled the little boy into his arms and held him tight for a moment. _< Thank you for your help.  > _Bobby let go and stood up. His heart and stomach both doing strange and uncomfortable things at the idea of going deeper. He wasn’t afraid of Daken, or what had happened to him. He was afraid of not being enough. _Laura should've done this. She knows him better, understands and relates. I try but … what did he say at Third Rail? That I idealize him to make it easier for myself? There’s no room for that here, but I’m not sure I know how to stop._

As Bobby left the library he found himself walking down a long corridor in the same traditional Japanese style but as he rounded a corner, things changed drastically. The air turned hot, dry, and filled with the scents of burned flesh, gunpowder and dirt. Each breath burned in his throat and it felt as if there wasn’t enough water in the world to quench his thirst. The walls were plain, the windows had no glass and part of the building had collapsed. The sound of gunfire, screams and frantic French rambling reached Bobby’s ears as he continued walking.

It was frightening but the sort of frightening that Bobby knew what to do with. He pushed forward, moving ever in the same direction, and tried not to be seen by anyone who didn’t look like Daken. _Yep we’re in some shit now._

At the end of the hallway was a small room. One window, one door. A bed in one corner, a table in the middle and a sleeping bag spread out in the other corner. There was a piece of paper stuck to the wall above the sleeping bag. Neat, delicate handwriting contrasted by how simplistically it was worded, clearly the product of someone still learning French. The text read;

 **Rules**  
\- Obey Master  
\- Watch and learn  
\- Answer and be silent  
\- Be grateful  
\- Nothing is free

Next to the sleeping bag was a single candle, a box of matches and an old, worn book. Japanese. Poems.

Bobby lifted the book and glanced at it. The title was in Japanese, Shin Kokin Wakashū, The New Collection of Poems Ancient and Modern. It was a large book and felt important, but he didn’t quite understand why. Turning he looked at the bed and wondered to himself who slept there. “Daken?”

No answer came but the light in the hallway flickered. Bobby felt the difference in temperature almost immediately as he followed the light. The heat was left behind and replaced with a bitter cold breeze of air that felt like the deepest winter. And there was noise. The sound of flesh against flesh, of sobbing and whimpers, and heavy breathing.

 _Dear god._ Bobby held the book in hand till it evaporated. He walked down the hall, his face a puckered mess of suspense and fear. He knew what was happening. The image of that innocent and blunt child in the library swam before his eyes. Bobby thought of his own younger self and cringed. What Daken was living through in his mind, in this prison of himself was horrifying. 

The next room was not all that different from the last. A small cabin but the single room had been replaced with two. There was snow outside the window, a fire that had died down in the corner of the room. The stench of blood and of red wine. Bobby could see the ghost of a memory play out. He saw a young, frightened boy bent over the kitchen table by a man shaped creature which dwarfed the child. It’s bulk seemed almost to fill up the room, and it was moving over the top of the small figure. But there was also another boy sitting on the couch, watching, observing, drinking the wine that had been left. There was an expression in these blue eyes that didn’t belong to someone so young.

“You.” The boy looked up at Bobby, “You shouldn’t be here. This is my place.”

Bobby felt sick. The sight of the rape disgusted him. He didn’t know how to hold a conversation while in the same room as _that_. It was not a surprise, Daken had been honest about his past. That did not mean it wasn’t shocking, or that Bobby was somehow rendered insensitive to the sight of the act. Still he tried to focus, “I’m here to help my partner, to help you.”

“I know who you are. You’re the one he feels safe with.” The boy stood and the memory faded, leaving just them in the little cabin. “We all know, except maybe the youngest. We are guides, we are impressions of moments in his life. Daken’s life. Why did you come here? What do you want?”

“Daken, you, haven’t ate in three days. I’m worried that he, you, are going to die.” Bobby swallowed, “Even if that is what you want, this is no way to go, surrounded by this …” Bobby couldn’t make the words come. He tasted the sharp acid tang of bile in the back of his throat and shook his head. 

“I’m always here.” Looking at the table with a blank expression he said slowly, “So that we remember.”

“Yeah you shouldn’t forget what was done to you but you don’t have to live in this moment.” Bobby reached out for the youth, “He, you, has been seeing someone, talking about the nightmare that was your life. It … it doesn’t have to be like this. Akihiro, Daken, Kitten, I … please. God, please it doesn’t have to be like this.”

“We forgot. We forgot the woman with her red hair and her flower perfume. We _forgot_ and remembering hurt. It hurt so much he is refusing to wake now.”

“I’m not sure but I think … I think you, and Logan, were made to forget.” Bobby held the youth’s hand and breathed out heavily. “Please, please come away from this garbage fire. Come with me.”

Looking at their hands he swallowed and then said, “No, I belong here. Keep going, the real us is hiding where it’s safe. He is that way.” The young boy pointed and the door opened up into another hallway.

“I don’t want to leave you.” Bobby felt tears stinging his eyes. “Akihiro, please.”

“Daken.” He corrected softly, “Akihiro is dead. Whatever was left of him died right there.” He pointed at the table.

Bobby did cry, not quite silently, but there were no messy sobs. He went down on one knee and hugged the boy tightly. Bobby had thought he understood before. There were no words for the ache he felt, the sympathy he wanted to communicate. Bobby had never experienced anything like what he had just seen, but he felt he understood some part of it in his soul. For so long he had punished and denied his true self. He had done what he felt he had to do to survive, to live up to the expectations of unloving father figures. Bobby had never been ‘raped’ but he knew what it was to have sex to satisfy a role. He wished there were words, that he could express this understanding. But action was the only language that mattered in this moment. He could not save Daken from this. It had happened, it was over, and he would continue to live in this moment till he found his own way out. _It wasn’t your fault. It wasn’t your fault._

The child went still, barely breathing and after a few seconds he asked, “W-what is your price sir?”

It hurt. Bobby shook his head and held on tighter, “You don’t owe me for this Daken. Please keep fighting. It wasn’t your fault, what he did to you. No matter what happened it wasn’t your fault. He hurt you and you did what you had to do. That’s not your fault.”

Big blue eyes looked at Bobby with doubt and fear for a long moment before it slowly melted away. “You smell like truth. No lies.” Looking back at the table he grabbed for Bobby’s hand, “Take me with you.”

With a gentle smile he took Daken’s hand in his and they walked on together. _Don’t disappear, please. Please let me be able to take you out of this place, please._ “I don’t know what’s going to happen …”

The boy stayed by Bobby’s side until they reached the next room, “I can’t go in there. I don’t belong there.” Looking up he smiled at Bobby, “I’ll go visit Akihiro. I haven’t seen him in a long, long time.”

“Read something.” He fluffed the boy’s hair, for he was a boy again, and not a wounded man in a child’s body. “Remember you aren’t alone anymore.” Bobby let go and then turned to open the door. He was prepared for something else horrible, though he wasn’t sure how far that went or how well he would weather it in actuality. 

The room Bobby entered was flooded with light through tall windows and filled with the biting smell of oil paints and brush cleaner. It was a surreal scene to walk into after the horror he had just witnessed. That was until his eyes fell on the young teenager and the painting he was working on. It was black and white except for the splashes of red. A boy not much older, lifeless and bloody, in what Bobby assumed was a shower cabin.

“Hello?” His voice felt too loud. This moment seemed like a quiet one, like something he shouldn’t disturb.

“Hello.” Blue eyes turned to look at Bobby and the boy sighed, “Ah, you. You’re stirring up a mess in here.” He tapped the side of head and shrugged, “Not that it was ever orderly to begin with. Still looking for the real one?”

Bobby nodded, “I am. Can you point me in the right direction?” His eyes were drawn to the painting. It was lovely and grotesk at the same time.

“Will you hurt him?” The boy looked curious, not a hint of worry in his expression. “Everyone hurts us eventually. They smile, they say sweet things and buy treats but then … then they all want something. What is it you want?”

It was that question of ‘price’ again. Bobby looked into these bright blue eyes, wise in a young face, and tried to understand what he could say to gain himself passage. In the end he found only the truth, and prayed that it was enough. “I might hurt Daken. I won’t ever hurt him the way Romulus did. I won’t rape him. I might screw up and say something stupid, or do something thoughtless, but I’ll try not to be a dick and own it.” Bobby shrugged, “As far as what I want … I just … I’m tired of performing for people. I want someone who wants me the way I actually am.”

“He gets funny fluttery feelings in his tummy around you.” The teenager turned back to the painting, “Don’t leave him. He’s that way.” Pointing at a new door the teen picked up the paintbrush and continued to paint.

“You don’t have to stay here.” Bobby walked up to the youth and thought about touching him but thought better. “There are other ways to cope, to remember.”

“The person in the painting hurt us. I don’t mind being here. Go on.”

 _Someone hurt you and you were able to lash out, and protect yourself. Was this the first time you’d been able to? Is that why you stay here?_ Bobby looked at the painting and knew that this was someone Daken had killed. The scene was disturbing, but it was nothing he hadn’t already known. It was different to see it like this, as a painting, but Daken only seemed concerned with the times people had violated him. The teen in the painting must have tried something. He looked at the young Daken one more time and then nodded. “Okay.”

A string of rooms followed that were filled with memories but held no guide. It seemed that the further he went, the older Daken grew. The teenager turned into a young adult basically in front of his eyes as Bobby watched memory after memory pass. Some were disturbing but there was an occasional glimmer of hope. Something that seemed consistent about each memory was how focused on senses Bobby barely paid attention to each of them was. He smelled and tasted things he wasn’t sure he’d ever noticed before. It was interesting to experience the world with heightened senses even if this was all just memories.

The door closed behind him and he breathed out heavily. That last one had been twisted in ways Bobby couldn’t even begin to describe. Seeing Daken break and beg to be hurt after being told lies that Logan had wanted him to never be born – that was heavy in ways he didn’t have words for even after all the rest he had seen. Still, it seemed he was getting closer to the current age Daken was so all he could do was keep going.

The room Bobby entered was dimly lit, filled with the scent of candle wax and the sounds of labored breathing. In the center was a bed with two figures moving in the light of the candles and the gentle glow of moonlight.

“You.” The voice was familiar and no longer seemed too high. There was a guide again and this time he looked exactly as Bobby knew Daken. Tattoo (though not the sakura), mohawk, attitude.

“Yeah, and it’s starting to feel a bit odd. I mean, is this what you put everyone through or is this just for me?” Bobby looked at the figures in the bed and felt relieved. That was sex. He could hear the little sounds of pleasure, the whispered encouragements, and see the tenderness in the motions.

“You’re the first to be allowed in here at all.” Stepping closer he rounded Bobby and loosely wrapped his arms around him, nuzzling against Bobby’s neck. “You saw where, when it all lost meaning. You watched it get twisted and broken in ways that cannot be described with words. Look closely, watch when it became something meaningful. Not for long, oh not for long at all but one night, one moment …”

Without hesitation Bobby leaned into the contact. It was a memory, an incomplete Daken, but Bobby didn’t care. The contact was desired. He made a soft sound and nodded .”It’s good to know that there was at least one good time.”

“There were a few. Less than you’d think but this man there … he was special. We loved him, in a way. It was complicated.” Holding Bobby was nice and there was the temptation of simply keeping him here were things weren’t so bad. “You’re special but different. Maybe you’ll remind him that it can feel good because he has forgotten. Or rather, he doesn’t want to remember.”

Bobby had the strange feeling that this time the guide or memory or whatever wanted to keep him. He turned in the embrace and kissed him. It was no gentle thing, Bobby kissed him hard and held him close. 

Making a soft, low sound he kissed back. It was nice in ways that he wasn’t sure how describe. As they parted he sighed and gestured, “Keep going that way, you’re almost there. He thought you’d give up but I don’t think you will.”

“You’re worth it.” It was hard to pull himself away but Bobby did. He wanted more than a memory, and hearing that part of Dake believed in him gave him renewed conviction. Bobby moved away from the happy memory and towards what came next, something he was certain would be far less pleasant. 

It was not a room that he stepped into next. It was cell. It was _Romulus’_ cell. The man was sitting there but he didn’t move, didn’t even breath. Just an impression, a ghost. The one moving was another guide. And this one Bobby knew was very nearly _his_ Daken but not quite.

“There was more to see.” Daken raised his head and looked into icy blue eyes, “But you’ve just taken it all in a stride. We decided it’s enough. You’re not leaving without him but I won’t just let you take him either. He is safe here. Nothing can hurt him, can hurt any of us, if he stays.”

“What was I supposed to do? Freak out when I got confronted with the reality of what I already knew?” Bobby felt chilled by the impression of Romulus. That monster was the core of everything that had gone wrong. “Six months ago I would’ve frozen. Now though? I may not be as smart as you, Quen, or Scott, but I’m not a coward.”

“You need to understand that no one ever stayed.” Daken shook his head, “Laura is our sister, she has a reason to stay so when she didn’t turn the other way it was stunning but not completely illogical. But you, you don’t have any reason to stay. There are a few billion people on the planet and you could find someone else to be attracted to but you don’t want to. You want him and that is – not something we understand. So it’s like waiting for the other shoe to drop while becoming more and more involved. It’s not on you, it’s not even about you. It’s all the damage that’s been done to me.”

“I keep thinking something’s going to come up and it’ll all come crashing down.” Bobby shook his head, “I lived my life bowing to fear, trying to minimize pain at the expense of happiness. I won’t do it anymore. Until my Kitten tells me he doesn’t want me I’m going to keep doing this. I already told you, him, whatever, I already said I’d walk into hell. I meant it. Yeah I didn’t freeze over the figurative hellscapes in here, but I would literally turn hell to ice to come after you.”

“He’s made you walk through his memories to see if you meant it. If you would go through his hell to pull him out.” Daken stood and waved a hand, making the cell and the ghost disappear. They were standing outside then, surrounded by cherry trees. “Promise me – you won’t let him run. When things start to get serious, when he feels like he could bring harm to someone else … he runs. Don’t let him.”

“I won’t.” Bobby nodded, “I swear I won’t. I’m all in on this, as Remy would say. I’m not backing out.” 

“Then go. Bring him back.” Stepping aside he gestured and then faded. In the distance Bobby could see the real Daken just sitting by the river watching a beautiful woman.

He took his time reaching Daken. There was no rush now, and he wanted to understand, to see this moment, and to be able to enjoy it with him. Bobby sat down next to Daken and let their shoulders brush. “Hey there.”

“You came.” Daken looked away from the woman and at Bobby, a small smile on his lips. “I wasn’t sure … I hoped you would though.”

“Was this some sort of test?” It should’ve made him mad, but seeing Daken smile undid him. Bobby just smiled back. 

“Not a planned one but I guess, in a way …” Daken reached down and took Bobby’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “You passed.”

Bobby scooted closer and brought Daken’s fingers up to his lips. “You needed some time. I get that, but you need to know how scared we’ve all been. You are more loved than you want to believe Kitten.”

There was a long pause and then Daken nodded slowly, “I’m starting to understand that. I still don’t know why but … you came. Laura’s been there since we really met, Gabby too. It’s not easy to get used to that but I’m trying.”

“They’ve been helping. Jimmy especially. He’s the one that figured out we could get you to drink if we proped you up.” The fear and worry crept back in a bit, coloring Bobby’s words.

“I’m sorry, Bobby. For making you worry about me.” Squeezing Bobby’s hand he leaned in and kissed his cheek, “I just wanted some quiet and peace. Everything out there is too loud and too much. It’s like one mess after the other.”

“We have each other though. You aren’t alone anymore.” With a soft sound of affection Bobby nuzzled Daken’s fingers and kissed them again. “Into hell, I said I’d go into hell for you Akihiro.”

The use of that name made his heart skip a beat and put a hint of color into his cheeks. It felt odd. Wrong. Right. Neither and both. “Say that again, please.”

With a grin Bobby repeated himself, “I said I’d go into hell for you Akihiro.” 

“Yeah … yeah, you just did.” Nodding slowly he leaned in and kissed Bobby softly before adding, “I kinda like how my name sounds on your lips …”

“I like how it feels on my tongue.” Bobby nuzzled in and then laughed a little. The entire situation was ridiculous. Bobby couldn’t believe that it had worked, that he’d made it here, that Daken was so … relaxed. He looked back across the river, “That’s your mom? Itsu right?”

“Yes.” His expression went warm and soft as he looked at the beautiful woman, “That’s my mother the way Logan remembers her. She’s beautiful isn’t she? Graceful.”

“You look like her, a lot like her.” Bobby nodded, “It’s hard for me to imagine Logan and a woman like that, but he was a different person then.”

“I wish I could’ve spoken to her … just once.” Daken sighed and then stood up, tugging Bobby along. “Come on, let’s go home. I think I need a bath.”

It all sort of happened at once. Bobby felt dizzy. One moment he was looking up at Daken, getting ready to stand up, the next the was laying down next to him, the sounds of the forest and river replaced by those of an insistent kitten demanding to be pet. Bobby watched Daken open his eyes and let out a sigh of relief. 

“Welcome back.” Rachel grinned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here.**  
>  We’re going to move away from scheduled posting. It hasn’t worked for us. However, you guys should always see one post a week, and many times two so long as Finn and I have time and inspiration juice to put it together. If you aren’t subscribed to the fic you might want to follow us on tumblr. If Tumblr is not your jam you can follow me on twitter at @nausisauce. I’ll be posting there every time we have a new chapter from now on. 
> 
> Finn and I have been working on versions of this chapter since almost the start of the fic. We’ve taken inspiration from a lot of places. I was personally very heavily inspired by seeing ‘A Wrinkle in Time’ with my mother in theaters. Telepathy powered mind walking like this has figured heavily in the X-men for a long time. We often see the insides of characters minds presented as hallways with doors, this is true for both Logan and Scott. (Two I didn’t even have to stop and look up.) Our friend Sand3 has used this common trope in some of her work too, and I’m sure you’ve all read other fic’s featuring this theme. It’s a time honored tradition of the X-men, and I’m glad we’ve done our little take on it. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading. Finn and I are very excited to hear from you all as this chapter is a favorite of ours.


	52. Chapter 52

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken is back. Now what? Bobby isn’t sure. Daken isn’t sure either. So they just try to deal with the aftermath but there are some hiccups in that. There always are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Mentions of BDSM, Mentions of Bondage, Implied/Referenced Subspace, Sexual Themes, Anxiety, Mild Panic Attack, Caretaking, Hurt/Comfort, Recovery, Aftermath, Complications, Psychological Damage, Trust, Confessions
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

The silence that settled in the room after Rachel and Quire left wasn’t heavy but it wasn’t comfortable either. It held an odd feeling of tension in it which Daken found he couldn’t quite decipher. Was Bobby mad at him? Or had he just been so worried that it lingered? Was it the things he had seen? Or the implication that Daken was not having a simple crush but that things went deeper than that? Nevermind that Daken had practically confessed in written words. Too many questions, no answers. As always.

“Hey …” He looked at Bobby, a tired smile on his lips, “Wanna join me for a shower? I feel uncomfortable after three days in bed and I smell - well, not nice. We could order something to eat afterwards.”

“Yeah, if your cat lets us I’m game.” Bobby tried to sit up but Yuki laid on is chest and stared at him. “She wants attention.”

With a soft chuckle he reached over, picked her up and held her in front of him, “You’ll be a good sweetheart and let me have a nice hot shower, yes? I know you want to be loved but I promise I’ll love on you when I’m clean again and don’t smell like dirty bum living in cardboard box.”

Yuki seemed to understand. She licked her paw and washed her face, seeming sullen but she was no longer looking at them with accusing eyes.

“Asgardian cats are intense.” Bobby sat up and then headed towards the bathroom. Daken’s room was a bit of a mess, the sofa was in the wrong place, and there was an extra chair. All of that could wait though. “I’ll start the water.”

_< Good little kitten.  > _Smiling softly he stroked her head and then sat Yuki down. His body was aching in places he wasn’t used to but it wasn’t half as bad as he expected, though getting up was a bit of a challenge. His knees felt weak and his legs were made of jello. _So that’s what happens when you go on mindscape vacation for a couple of days … not that different from post play shakiness._

Bobby poked his head back out of the bathroom and watched Daken. “Hey, do you maybe … need a hand?”

His instinct was to brush the offer aside and just bite his tongue, going through the motions. Help had a price but if he had learned anything from their experience just now than it was that Bobby’s prices were easy to pay. “Yeah, feeling a little off balance.”

With a gentle smile Bobby gave Daken his hands and helped him stand. “Here, just wait a moment, your inner ear is gonna be doing weird stuff.”

Holding onto Bobby’s hands he just looked at him, expression soft and warm. The monster of his nightmares was out there, free and recovering, gaining strength but that didn’t matter. It would be okay. He wasn’t alone this time. “Yeah okay, I think I can manage to get my ass into the shower.”

“Don’t worry, I’m looking out for your ass.” Bobby kept one of Daken’s hands even though they had to go single file into the bathroom. It was a small space with a vanity, little storage cubby, and a shower complete with small bench. This was an adult’s room. All their showers had benches because getting beat up and needing to sit down was a regular part of an X-man’s life. Bobby smiled, there was already steam. He turned to Daken, “You want some help getting undressed?”

Nodding slowly he smiled when Bobby started to tug on his shirt. It was oddly intimate even though it wouldn’t be the first time they showered together. “Next time I need a break … I’ll get high or something. Less worrisome.”

“Maybe we’ll figure out something that works for the two of us.” Daken’s shirt came off and then Bobby started working on the pants. “I want to kiss you.”

“Haven’t brushed my teeth in three days. You sure you wanna kiss me?” Daken arched a brow.

“Jimmy and I figured out how to brush your teeth.” Bobby blushed, “You’re such a meticulous person, we didn’t think you’d want to have a dirty mouth.”

“That explains why my mouth doesn’t taste like death.” Reaching up he cupped Bobby’s face in his hands and kissed over it, avoiding these soft lips simply to tease.

The heat on Bobby’s face intensified. He fumbled a little with Daken’s pants but then pushed them down and took hold of Daken’s hips. “I can feel it in my spine, you’re giving me full body shivers.”

“Good.” With a soft smile he kissed both corners of Bobby’s lips and then pulled back to start undressing him. As if nothing was wrong at all.

“Hey.” Bobby caught Daken’s hands and shook his head. “You’re the invalid! I can undress myself.”

There was a pause as Daken looked into these pretty eyes and then he finally kissed Bobby. It distracted him long enough for Daken to get his hands free again and continue tugging on the belt and then the zipper. Bobby was worried, that was easy to tell but Daken didn’t want arousal to be a problem between them _again_. It happened. It was normal. It didn’t mean that he was obligated to do anything about it. That was still something he was working on actually believing but that made this even more important.

With a low moan Bobby surrendered. He let Daken have his way and found himself nude in a matter of moments. His body reacted the only way it knew how, which made him blush and struggle not to push close. “You don’t play fair.”

“Never said I did.” Smiling softly he got into the shower, tugging Bobby along. The sensation of hot water running over him was incredibly welcome and Daken just stood there for a moment, enjoying it.

Bobby couldn’t help staring. Daken had thrown his head back, and closed his eyes. The water ran over him, slicking back his hair, and traced over his body in gleaming transparent rivers. It wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last time that Bobby experienced a moment of feeling profoundly ‘gay’. _I am officially too gay to function. Could I please focus?_

Daken felt the eyes on him, felt them trace along his body, appreciative and maybe, to a degree, hungry but entirely without demand. It was refreshing and welcome. “Come here.” With a smile he pulled Bobby close and nuzzled against the side of that strong neck, breathing the familiar scent in.

“You are so beautiful.” Bobby tilted his head so that Daken could nestle himself in. His hands found their way back to those strong square hips. It felt incredible, being close like this, especially after the days of worry. 

“I’ve heard that so many times and I hated it. I hated the way they said it, how it sounded as if the only thing that mattered about me was my body.” Daken kissed the spot where shoulder and neck met and then added softly, “Doesn’t feel like that with you.”

There was silence for a time. Bobby was soaking up the tender affection. After so much worry it was much needed balm for his frayed nerves and aching heart. More than that though Bobby was trying to think of what to say. After a few moments he murmured, “Thank you for trusting me.”

“You earned it.” Another kiss and then he sat down on the small bench in the corner of the shower, feeling too shaky for his legs to continue to hold him up. “I feel like I’m starving. Remind me not to do this again yeah?”

“Like you check in with me before you do crazy shit?” Bobby rolled his eyes and got the shampoo. It was a lot like the first time they showered together, and he found it soothing. “You run off on your own, and end up needing my help, but you don’t think to just take me along. You need to get away from everything because it’s all too much,” As Bobby continued to talk as he gently but thoroughly scrubbed Daken’s scalp, they’d figured out sponge baths and mouth sponges, but Daken still needed a good wash, “So you figure out how to get caught in your own mind rather than tell me you want me to help you get out of your own head. I don’t know how you think I can tell you to do anything.”

“I know you’re good at a lot of stuff but what the hell would you have done about me asking to have a break? You’re not a telepath. You don’t approve of drugs. You’d never hurt me …” The fingers in his hair felt soothing and Daken was just sitting there soaking in the care and attention. Bobby had the ability to just make him go pliant in a way that no one else had ever managed - willingly.

“Well we could’ve talked. Maybe there is something that I can do. We don’t know.” Bobby got the shower head and rinsed Daken’s hair. “Maybe we go away somewhere, or I spend time touching you in a quiet room, or maybe you’re into bondage. I know how to tie knots. Maybe you want to spend time in an isolation bath, we can simulate that in the danger room. What I’m getting at is, there’s a lot of possibilities and you don’t know what I will and won’t do unless you ask me.”

Turning his head up he stared at Bobby for a good minute, at a total loss for what to say. The first words that came when his voice decided to work again weren’t at all what he meant to say but they still summed up his train of thought perfectly, “Did you just say bondage?”

“Yeah. I did.” Bobby arched both brows and watched Daken with a smug smile. “Pretty sure I didn’t stutter.”

“Funny.” Rolling his eyes he leaned back and there was something wary and nervous in his gaze now. Was this coincidence or was he that obvious? Daken was pretty confident he didn’t let on that there were certain things he missed, things that had been ingrained to the point where they had become a part of him. “I can’t stand sensory deprivation. Not in multiple ways so that’s out.”

“Narrowing down the senses though? Maybe a blindfold?” Bobby returned to massaging the conditioner into Daken’s hair.

“Bondage, blindfolds … what’s next? You’ll start talking safe words and hand me a list of rules, expectations along with the punishments for breaking them?”

“Why are you so surprised that I know about BDSM?” Bobby made a little face and reached for the shower head again. 

There was a pause as he let Bobby wash the conditioner out of his hair but the moment the foam was gone he stood and left the shower. That acronym stood for something he couldn’t and didn’t want to think about. The illusion had been nice, the idea that they could make things work. Daken had come back believing it. Trusting in the thought that they both wanted the same things and would figure it out. _Foolish. It always comes back to sex._

“Hey!” Bobby turned off the shower and came after Daken a dripping mess. “What’s going on?”

Daken kept his back turned and his eyes cast down as he dried himself off. Adrenaline was the only thing keeping him upright and it would wear off quickly but for the moment he could fake being calm and fine. “I have no desire to be anyone’s toy again. I’m sorry but you’ll have to find someone else to explore your curiosity with.”

“I don’t want a toy! I thought we’d been through this. Did I say I wanted to go hard and heavy with ball gags and whips? No! I just said I knew what BDSM is. People find peace in weird places so I started throwing out ideas.” There was something about the calmness that Bobby found frightening. He didn’t try to dry himself off, but he reached for Daken, “Look at me.”

For a moment Daken refused, keeping his eyes averted but he couldn’t just turn away from this. As much as he wanted it in that moment. Meeting these blue eyes he swallowed, “No one just brings that up if there isn’t an underlying interest. Don’t pretend. I’ve done it, more times than I care to think about and it’s always sexual. I would rather die going off into my own head than do that to to myself again.”

“There is a monster inside of me.” Bobby hated admitting it, but there was no space for lying here and now. Not to Daken. “I’m the sort of messed up freak that would destroy all life on the planet given the right motivation. I have a temper, and I compensate for my crippling self doubt with jokes and false confidence. If you have second thoughts about this, about us, because you’re realizing that I’m a shitty person, that’s fine. I’ll accept that. If you’re freaking out because I am open minded and willing to do anything for you, that I’ve got an issue with.” Bobby took a breath and had to sit on his thought as Daken began to speak. 

“Stop.” He breathed out heavily and then leaned back against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor. The adrenaline had worn off and now he felt ready to curl up somewhere and cry for a few hours. “Just … this isn’t about you. I _know_ you, Bobby. I know you’re a lot more messed up than it seems on the surface but that is _why_ I trust you. I just … I can’t tell what is me and what is fifty something years of conditioning. There are no lines, no beginning and end. I’m scared of this because there is always a chance I’ll regret it and then … then I would’ve turned you into something you aren’t. You are not a rapist Bobby.”

Bobby got down on his knees and moved towards Daken. It was a ridiculous scene, but Bobby didn’t care. There was no one there to see but them. “Nothing we do together is ever going to be like what happened with _those two_. I care about you feeling good, I care about you as a person.” Bobby licked his lips and swallowed, “I’m in love with you _Akihiro_ , and I am almost a hundred percent sure you’re in love with me too, and I swear to you, we aren’t going to break this. What we have isn’t breakable.”

They had both said it without saying it directly. He had written it down black on white. And yet this felt different. This was somehow, inexplicably, more meaningful. Daken almost wanted to run. Almost. It wasn't exhaustion which kept him down on the floor, it was stubbornness. “I’m tired of being scared.” Reaching out he wrapped his arms around Bobby and held on tightly. “I am … you’re right. I’m in love with you and it’s terrifying but probably the best thing that’s ever happened to me at the same time.”

“Kitten.” Bobby found himself straddling Daken’s lap while wearing nothing but a big stupid grin. “I love you too Akihiro.” His hands cupped Daken’s face and he felt like he might cry, “Like a lot, the most even.”

“This is the worst confession ever, way too many tears and too little candle light.” Daken breathed out heavily and then kissed Bobby, desperately.

That was all they did, kiss, and touch and cry. Bobby had almost lost Daken twice in one week now. Maybe three times if the almost-sort-of-fight-misunderstanding they’d just had counted. It was far too much for his heart, and he wasn’t ashamed of the fact that he was moved to grand and ridiculous displays. Bobby moved his thumbs back and forth in that same slow soothing way he had done on other occasions even as the kiss grew more intense. 

It was stupid. They were both wet and naked, sitting on the floor of his tiny bathroom, kissing like the world was going to end if they stopped. If someone had told him this would happen even just a month ago, Daken would have suggested they’d check themselves into a mental institute since there was clearly something wrong with them. But somehow Bobby had not only moved past all his walls and defenses but settled down firmly in the center of his heart with no intentions of moving even an inch. _Stubborn Snowflake …_

“We need to move … ‘m starving and the floor is cold.”

“You want me to carry you?” Bobby had already started to get up, knowing that if he lingered, he wouldn’t be able to move at all. 

There was a pause and then Daken said, “I want you to tie me up and have your way with me.” 

“That’s … well not tonight.” Bobby stood up and then leaned down to scoop Daken up in his arms. “At the risk of freaking you out again I am going to admit that’s something I’ve fantasized about … more than twice.”

“First step to getting over stupid shit is acknowledging that there is something to get over. Second step is accepting that just because there is trauma connected to something doesn't mean you cannot desire it. So, let's acknowledge that yes, I want you to do very, very kinky things to me.” Daken did not resist being carried but he was giving Bobby a look for it.

“Okay, that’s … that’s really healthy and sexy.” The look on Bobby’s face was a mixture of bemusement and amused wonder. “Just so we’re on the same page my idea of tying you up and having my way with you is likely not the same as what you think.” He was halfway to the bed, and walking slower than he needed to. 

“So no endless kissing on me and telling me sweet things that make me want to hide under a blanket?” Daken arched a brow, “No edging either?”

“Uhhh apparently we’re actually basically on the same page.” A deep flush covered Bobby’s face as he set Daken down. “So … do you want something to wear? We should eat. And no, you aren’t getting up. You sit there.”

“We've not been together that long but we've known each other for some time now. I understand the way your mind works. You like doting on your partner, on me.” Daken sat on the bed and smiled, “Shorts would be useful … unless you enjoy the view.”

_You do know me._ “I love the view, but whoever brings our food up doesn’t need to get the full show.” Bobby went over to the dresser and found shorts and a tank top for Daken. For himself he pulled out a pair of pants and a thin cotton v neck. All the clothes were thrown over his shoulder. “So yeah. Clothes, and yeah, doting on you. Just, raise your arms okay? Yes I’m dressing you, don’t make a big deal out of it.”

“You're the one making it a big deal.” Smiling he raised his arms and after Bobby pulled the shirt onto him, he tugged on those dark curls to capture Bobby's lips. 

“Mmmm.” _I super love you the most._ Bobby made a long, low sound in his chest that continued even after their lips parted. “Mmm! You need to eat. Stop seducing me. It’s already done. You’ve seduced me.” Bobby leaned down and motioned for Daken to put up his feet a bit so he could slide the shorts on him, “I am perpetually seduced.”

Daken rolled his eyes but smiled in a soft, warm way. “Order us some damn pizza, Snowflake. I'm starving!”

“You want me to do that naked?” Bobby asked with a raised brow.

“Ordering yeah, opening the door? No! My boyfriend!” Daken pouted.

With a smirk Bobby went for his phone, which was back in the bathroom, in his jeans, and then called in the order while walking around the room naked, his clothes still slung over his shoulder. Then he called Zach and asked him to meet the delivery person at the door and bring up the pizza. “Yeah there’s an entire pie in it for you, thanks.” Bobby hung up and tossed his phone on the bed. “Alright, does your boyfriend get dressed now?”

“Sadly yes.” Daken sighed as he kept pouting and stroking Yuki’s silvery fur. The kitten had taken her favorite spot on his chest again. “And then I want you to come here and kiss me.”

The clothes went on quickly even though Bobby almost tripped trying to put his pants on and walk at the same time. Once he was clothed Bobby fell into the bed and laughed at the indignant sound Yuki made. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Leaning over he kissed Bobby with a soft, pleased sound. It wasn't an innocent kiss but it wasn't as heated as some others either. There was something playful and lazy about it. Not so much with the words that followed, “I need you to just listen for a moment okay?” The nod satisfied him as an answer and Daken continued, “I've been groomed to want certain things, to _need_ them. For the longest time there was nothing but that need and connected to it wanting to please Romulus so I would get what I needed. Then things fell apart and I … well, I replaced Romulus with the next best psychopath I could find. And when that came to an end, there was a string of random sex. Then, I guess after going off the deep end trying to blow myself up, I went to a long series of professionals but they never got me where I wanted. So I was pretty damn okay with Logan killing me, in fact I hoped for it - not as much as I hoped that he'd be taking me in but whatever, close enough.” Daken shrugged, “I only had sex with one person after being revived. Just one. Until you anyway. But point is - it's easier to just not have any at all than trying to sort through decades of rape and conditioning to figure out what I actually like and don't like. Some days the thought of sex repulses me so much I can't watch a damn TV show because somehow there is always unnecessary sex scenes at least implied. And some days I can't stop thinking about sex.” He sighed and frowned, “Saying I don't want it is easier but … if you're willing to work through this mess with me …”

It was a lot to take in. Now that Bobby had been in Daken’s mind, had walked through some of these horrors, witnessed them as close to first hand as possible, hearing it was worse. Bobby felt Yuki snuggling in against them, and that was comforting, but all he really cared about was holding Daken and stroking his back in long soothing motions. At first he just nodded, but then he answered, voice soft, and face very solemn, “Yeah we’ll figure this out together. That’s what love is right?”

“I don't know. I never loved anyone before you. Not like this. Family is different, less complicated.” He chuckled, “Well, in some ways anyway. My family is just odd all over.”

“It’s the same as what you do with Laura, Gabby, and Jimmy.” Bobby reached up and stroked Daken’s cheek, “I do it with Scott, Hank, Warren, and Jean. Not sex, obviously not sex. Love though, yeah. And figuring things out. It’s work, it’s a lot of work, but everything in life worth having is. And because I love them, I try. I try really hard. I love you, so much, so much it’s sort of … I just don’t have words for it. But it’s worth working for, it’s worth some frustration and effort, and just … we’ll work it out together, not just sex either. All of it Kitten. I’m along for all of it.”

“Good. I want this, I want to make it work. You make me feel … like I'm real. Sometimes it's easy to forget that, you know. I get hurt, it disappears. I die, I come back. Nothing ever lasts. Except for my tattoo and the stupidity of the world. And now this. You. Us.”

Bobby’s fingers slipped down Daken’s neck to where the tattoo started on his shoulder and traced a cherry blossom. Yuki mewed and then started purring, the air in the room kicked on, and then Bobby looked into Daken’s eyes, “Yes. I want this too. I want you. No one else has ever looked at what I’ve done, what I am and called me on it, accepted it as part of me, _and_ understood that it isn’t the entire story. No one else has ever really understood it. No one else has ever made space for me the way you do and I … I don’t ever want to be without you. Caring about you, caring for you, it makes me a better person.”

“That’s mutual. We make each other better.” Smiling softly he leaned into every point of contact between them and simply soaked up that warmth and comfort.

“If that's the case then for the sake of the world we've got to make this work.” Bobby grinned. 

Going pliant in Bobby’s arms he sighed in a pleased way, “Yes, we’ll figure it out. I know we will. Now keep doing that kissing thing! I demand more kisses, they make me feel happy … and sad because you cannot leave marks on me”

“You need an, ‘I’m with dumby’, shirt.” Bobby kept kissing over the sides and back of Daken’s neck, “That’s mark enough.”

“Mmh, I was thinking more like …” He paused to make a sound when Bobby hit just the right spot and then continued, “A tattoo maybe.” The process of getting one that could last would be tricky but Daken liked the thought of it. Having something permanent, something lasting, to show he was taken by someone who deserved to have him.

“Wow, that’s … that’s a big statement.” The kisses paused as Bobby ran his nose along the shell of Daken’s ear. “You sure that this isn’t … I mean if we don’t count the months of us being stupid this is pretty new.”

“Wasn’t saying I’ll do it tomorrow but … yeah. It’s a thought.” Daken felt himself shiver at the continued attention. It was pleasant and exciting to have this and know there was no demand behind it. Bobby wasn’t waiting for him to drop on his knees and give head. Well, maybe he was _waiting_ for it but he wasn’t going to punish Daken for not doing it. “Unless I go to someone who does a specific kind of tattoo, they don’t last for more than a week anyway. Healing factor breaks down the foreign ink and makes the tattoo fade.”

“If you’re gonna do something more permanent, and if you’re gonna do what I think you’re gonna do, let me help with the design.” Bobby went back to kissing, a bit sloppier than before. He was keeping a calm front, but the idea of Daken putting a mark on his body because of the feelings they shared, wanting to have an outward and visible symbol of that, it did things to him.

“Yes.” Agreeing was easy with Bobby making him feel like a happy little puddle of goo. Daken could have lied there for hours and just let Bobby have his way with him. That was if he weren’t so damn hungry and there wasn’t a knock on the door that implied food was there. “Mmh, pizza. Go get us the pizza, Snowflake. I’m starving!”

“On it, on it!” The words were said as he let Daken go. He opened the door and motioned for Zach to come in. “Hey, thanks for bringing that up.”

“Yeah there better be some cash in it for me.” Zach looked between the two of them and shifted, the pizza boxes in hand. He hadn’t come while Daken was out. It had been too emotional for him, and seeing him now, Zach wasn’t sure what to feel.

“Sure, just, just hold on while I get things fixed up.” Bobby set about rearranging the room. The extra chair was pushed aside and then the love seat needed to go back next to the coffee table. 

“Hey Amp.” Daken sat up and smiled at the boy, “You met my new furry child yet?” 

“Uh … you have a huge … kitten?” Zach cocked his head as the silky looking puff ball started at him.

Bobby took the pizza boxes from Zach, set them on the coffee table, and then went to the linens and pulled out a new set of sheets for the bed. Considering Daken’s sense of smell it was likely it needed a switch, and a spritz with some denatured alcohol. 

Free from the burden of pizza Zach reached out to stroke the kitten’s head. “Really soft!”

“Like a fluffy, purring cloud.” Daken smiled as he got up and settled on the couch. Yuki curiously sniffed Zach and then rubbed her head against his hand. That was cat for approval, Daken knew because he understood - his first reaction to new people was sniffing them too.

“The first pizza is for you Zach.” With boyfriend and feline out of the way Bobby stripped the bed. It was a bunch of boring adult stuff, but it was the sort of thing Bobby had learned was important in his twenties. Women appreciated a clean well put together bed even if the rest of the room was a hot mess. It was one of those pieces of knowledge that had transitioned from his life in the closet to his being out, no one really wanted to sleep in a gross bed. 

“So … you’re alright Daken?” Zach set the kitten down and reached for the box of pizza.

“Yes, I’m okay. Just had a little … vacation.” Opening his box he made a pleased sound. There was nothing better than four different kinds of cheese on top of pizza. “Snowflake made sure I have a good reason to come back.”

“That’s good.” Zach nodded and licked his lips. “Means Blondverine will calm down, and Quire won’t be so stressed out.” He shrugged and tried to act like he didn’t care. “Think this means either Goldenboy is leaving or yelling at Summers and Dadverine.”

“Please be yelling, please be yelling!” Daken grinned, “Yes, I am a very mature person. I absolutely have no Daddy Issues whatsoever.”

“Why do you think Foley is going to yell at them?” It was nothing Bobby was unaware of. Even if he hadn’t known before, both Laura and Dani had made sure he was aware after he asked for Josh to return to the school.

“Honey Badger told me she wasn’t sure Golden Boy would stay and that if he did it would mean needing to confront the geezers.” Zach shrugged as Bobby came over to join Daken and the kitten on the sofa. “Anyway, you still owe me teach. It’s uh,” Zach shrugged and tried not to let any of his worry show, “It’s good to see you’re up and around Daken. Catch you later.”

“Later.” Giving Zach a smile he watched him leave and then turned back to Bobby, “So that went better than I thought.”

“He adores you. I didn’t think it’d go bad. He mostly treats me with mild annoyance now.” Bobby got himself a slice of pizza and leaned back. “The drama never stops around here.”

“Yeah … I noticed that.” Daken sighed and just focused on eating. A part of him was itching to get out of here and as far away from everything as possible.

After a moment of silence Bobby reached for another piece of pizza and licked his lips. “You know, we could get out of here. That trip inside your head, that wasn’t really a vacation, but you know, we could take one.”

Looking at his lover he made a thoughtful sound, “Do you … think that’s a good idea? You have commitments and an actual job. I have neither. I just do whatever the fuck I want.”

“Between Scott and Quen I should be able to get my classes covered. And as far as our team goes, if we’re needed Yana can come get us.” _I know you need to move, to feel like you’re doing something, like you aren’t just standing still._ “I don’t often take vacations.”

Nodding slowly he asked, “Where’d you wanna go, Snowflake?”

“We should take a road trip out to LA.” With a satisfied nod Bobby finished his second piece of pizza and then looked over at Daken, “We take a week to get out there, and then we spend a week in LA. If we get a rental car we can just fly back. Or again, have Yana give us a hand.”

“Just us for two weeks? No X-Men business, no teaching, no siblings and or parents to deal with?” Daken blinked and then smirked, “Oh I like that.”

“Just us.” Bobby nodded and put a hand on Daken’s knee. “If anyone asks we can always say it’s for the team. You’re my second in command. We need to spend time together, you know, for the future of mutant kind.”

That made him snort and roll his eyes, “You are aware that everyone will think we are leaving to have two weeks of loud sex, yeah?”

“They can think whatever they want.” Bobby shrugged, “It’s not like I’m leaving to join the Avengers. Now, stop making eyes at me and eat.”

“Sir, yes sir.” Daken said it seriously and then sat back into the food.

There was silence again, but unlike before the shower it was peaceful. There was no more tension. The friction that had been there, the lingering fear and worry, it had all been smoothed away. Bobby leaned against Daken’s shoulder as he continued to eat and closed his eyes. _This is what makes it all worthwhile._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here!**
> 
> I just want to thank you all for reading. I hope this chapter has helped to illustrate the direction Bobby and Daken are going to take in their personal life. Neither of them have forgotten that Romulus is out there, but even with that hanging over their heads they have to continue to live and deal with the things that are right in front of them. 
> 
> Let’s give these boys a round of applause, it only took 52 chapters for them to say ‘I love you’. Also keep your eyes peeled for bonus chapters. Our series of back up stories, Reflections, could be seeing a few updates in the near future. As always I look forward to hearing from you. If you have questions or requests please don’t be shy. Thanks for reading. 


	53. Chapter 53

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Daken still have a lot to talk through but after a relaxed morning, Bobby leaves for monthly bonding with his older brother figure. Meanwhile Daken finds himself in a less than comfortable situation and so unwinds with his favorite annoying teenagers in the evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Tags:**
> 
> **Part 1:**  
>  Implied/Referenced Rape, Implied/Referenced Pedophilia, Implied/Referenced Grooming, Relationship Building, Romance, Mutual Respect, Peaceful Quiet Moment
> 
>  **Part 2:**  
>  Inexplicit Mention of Sex, Oral Sex Mention, Sexuality, Attraction, Brotherly Bonding, Guilt, Therapy, Gossip, Trans Character Mention, Transphobia Discussion
> 
>  **Part 3:**  
>  Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Abandonment, Mentions of Adoption, Father  & Son Bonding, Found Family
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

Bobby couldn’t help thinking, as he laid there next to Daken, that it was good thing they were leaving for their trip soon. The easy relaxed air in the room had become more and more rare. He was almost afraid to speak or move around. Daken had been on edge, and the idea of shattering this calm moment was more than unpleasant. It wasn’t that Bobby couldn’t handle a crabby Daken. He was actually quite good at it. Steady breaths, slow windshield wiper motions, and a little joke, tended to help ease the tension. Still two days of cranky Daken feeling pent up and desperate to break free was two days too many. This was why Bobby was playing Bayonetta. It fulfilled his need to embrace his bad bitch witch self and kill lots of things so that he could be unendingly patentient. Focus was beyond him though, which was why he was again seeing the game over screen, “I died again.”

Daken raised his eyes from the book in his hands and gave Bobby a side glance before concluding, “You seem pretty alive for a dead person.” To smooth over the small tease he shifted and pressed a kiss to Bobby’s shoulder before adding, “It’s fine. Game and comic characters have infinite lives.”

“Except for Aeris. She just got the one.” Bobby shrugged as he looked over at Daken. Outwardly everything seemed fine but Bobby was well aware that lurking not so far from surface was a rolling mess of feelings. He’d seen his own therapist yesterday, or video chatted with them. Apparently he was doing well? Bobby wasn’t so sure about that himself. He didn’t feel super depressed or anything but he was sure he was screwing something up, “So, hungry, sleepy, punch Logan in the face feeling?”

“Mmh, nah. Logan’s been doing fine. No need to punch him.” Daken sighed, closed his book and then sat up to stretch lazily. “I’m more in a … make the Danger Room safety shut off because I’ve been in there too long kind of mood. That is if I could get my ass out of bed.”

“That’s the worst part of waking up, everything requires getting out of bed, coffee, ass kicking, taking a leak, delicious lox bagels, everything.” Bobby leaned over and put a hand on Daken’s chest, “Also after I talk to Scott I can come to the danger room with you if you want, either to help you kick some ass or to witness your triumph.”

His expression went softer and he smiled at Bobby, fingers pushing through messy curls, “That’s right, it’s brotherly bonding day. Maybe I should get Jimmy to kick my ass in the Danger Room …”

“Have fun getting him to leave Quentin alone for more than two minutes. You’ll have better luck getting Honey Badger to kick your behind.” With a soft sound Bobby closed his eyes and leaned into Daken’s touch, more than happy to soak in the affection. 

There were things he could have said in reply but all that Daken cared for was playing with Bobby’s curls and letting the moment stretch on in comfortable, easy silence before he leaned in for a kiss.

It felt like being air in Daken’s lungs, or like he was the ocean and Daken never wanted to come up for air again. Bobby pushed back, kissed Daken with just as much need and hunger. His hands moved over strong shoulders and pulled Daken against him. It was an addictive experience. Bobby knew he was ruined for anyone else. Daken had put his mark on him, and no one else would do now. Bobby leaned back a little, his lungs screaming at him to breath, “Don’t know what I did, but I’d like to do it again.”

“You made that sweet sound which makes me want to kiss all over you.” Daken smirked as he shifted them, making Bobby lie back and getting on top to pretty much straddle him, “Haven’t loved on you enough these past few days. Was too busy being in my own head ...” He looked down into Bobby’s eyes and arched a brow, “It’s been oddly quiet in there … wonder if you did something that affected things in an odd, lasting way.”

Bobby blushed and tried to look innocent. He was relaxed and limp against the bed, more than happy to let Daken roll him about. “I might have played hero while I was in your head.” _Oh yeah that sounds great Bobby._ He shifted and sought words to explain, “There were these younger versions of you, and they … some of them were in horrible places. I … I couldn’t walk off and just leave them so I … I tried to get them to go to your safe place and … yeah.”

“I let you in but I wasn’t aware of what was happening. Guess you must have seen some … less than happy things hu?” Daken sighed and leaned down for a sweet, slow kiss before adding, “Whatever you did exactly and however that really works in a psychological way … it helped.”

“I was looking for you and whatever your mind was doing … I think it was testing me honestly. Part of you wanted to see if I’d decide you were damaged and gross.” Bobby reached up and stroked Daken’s cheeks, a look of both longing and adoration in his eyes, “It didn’t change how I feel about you.”

There was a long pause as he tried to find the right words but eventually Daken settled on simple and honest, “I don’t think a lot of people would stay after seeing some of that shit. I know you like to go down on yourself and brush aside compliments and positive things in general but - you are a good person. The best I’ve ever met.”

It was true, Bobby was horrible with heartfelt compliments. He wanted to find a way to do just as Daken said, brush it aside. The issue was that if he did that he was brushing aside Daken’s feelings and that wasn’t something he was willing to do. Bobby licked his lips and ended up nodding, “I wasn’t your fault, none of what happened to you. People who can’t see that are lying to themselves. I promised myself I was done lying.”

“Yeah … I know. Logically I know that it wasn’t my fault. I was a child, I didn’t even have words for what was happening but … with time … well, there was no one there to explain to me that a body reacting to things was perfectly normal and that it didn’t invalidate my disgust and hate for what was happening to me. Once an idea settles in your head, it’s hard to let it go.”

Bobby nodded, “It’s not the same but … well there were a few times I thought about coming out. I always talked myself out of it though. I’d remind myself that I got off in bed with woman, and reason that meant I was straight and just confused.” Bobby shrugged and shook his head, “It’s not the same but … I understand a little about trying to unlearn crap.”

“Good news -” Daken looked perfectly serious, “You, my darling, are _not_ straight. Not even a tiny bit. You look at my ass way too much for that.”

Bobby chuckled a bit at that and shook his head. “Hmm you’re starting to make me wish I never had to get out of bed.” With a soft little hum of happiness Bobby nuzzled in against Daken’s cheek. 

“Your big brother is waiting though. You can’t deprive poor Summers of his bi weekly fast food. That’s a crime!” Daken grinned as he rolled over and then slowly got out of bed. Part of him wanted to stay there and never move either but usually life wasn’t that simple.

“I’m formally asking him to take over my classes for two weeks so … yeah.” The last two days were a small thing to cover. Two weeks was a bit more, and at a time when Scott was taking over the defense aspect of things. Still between Scott and Quentin and maybe even Globby it wasn’t as if it would be hard to have a body stand over the kids and answer some math questions. Bobby sat up and pushed his fingers through his hair, “Maybe I’ll get a haircut while I’m out.”

“Don’t you dare!” Daken looked seriously offended, “I will not speak to you if you cut your hair short again. I mean it. You look so good with these curls, it would be an affront to the world if you cut it off!”

That got a full on stomach chuckle from Bobby. He shook his head and waved his finger at Daken, “I haven’t gotten a haircut since … since we met. Life was busy, really busy. I think I need to get a trim, or a style, or something. I’m not thinking short, just … less of a hot mess.”

“But, honey, you _are_ a hot mess.”

“True but that doesn’t mean I have to _look_ like a hot mess.” Bobby shrugged, “I guess that doesn’t matter, I’ll just look like a trashy poodle. Otherwise you won’t talk to me.”

“If you looked like a trashy poodle, I wouldn’t talk to you.” Daken chuckled as he slowly started to get dressed. “A trim is fine. I will cry though if there is nothing for me to grab and tug on as we kiss.”

“I’ll make sure the guy at Supercuts knows I need a hipster hairstyle.” The intention Bobby had was to get up and get dressed. He didn’t have time to sit there on the bed with Yuki yawning away. He needed to check in with people and make sure that nothing was on fire. Instead he was sitting there, watching Daken get dressed, thinking to himself, not for the first time, that he was indeed really, really gay. _I give thanks on this beautiful morning for dat ass. And I give thanks to every deity, that while I’m too gay to function, I somehow continue to function._

It was the spike in arousal as he bent over to pull on his socks which made Daken pause and glance over his shoulder, ass on full display in tight, blue-washed jeans, “Are you enjoying the show?”

“You’re the one who said looking at your ass proved I’m super gay.” Bobby smiled and scratched Yuki’s head as she walked across his lap. “I’m just celebrating how gay I am.”

“Embrace the gayness!” Daken grinned and stood up straight but not without wiggling his hips a little, “Besides, I _do_ have a nice butt.” His voice dropped and took on a serious, dry tone, “Inside and out.”

“Tease!” Bobby stood up, which got a disappointed mew from Yuki. He didn’t care much. Not when he could be wrapping his arms around Daken. There were kisses, and little hums of happiness as Bobby put off getting dressed for another handful of moments. “Love you.”

“Love you too.” It just spilled right out and Daken blinked, surprised but not displeased. Bobby knew. Saying it wouldn’t end the world.

It made Bobby feel warm all over. Yuki was rubbing at their ankles but Bobby just gazed at Daken with naked adoration in his eyes. “I’m using all my willpower to keep from throwing you back into the bed.”

“Ah, be a good boy and maybe I’ll have a surprise for you tonight.” Daken grinned, stole another kiss and then picked up Yuki. The feline settled on his shoulders, wrapping herself happily around him like a furry scarf. “Have fun with Summers.” Waving he went for the door.

“Yeah, see you.” Bobby waved and then stood there naked in his room and thought about his life, and the fact that there was a litter box in his bathroom, and cat water, and cat food, and cat toys, and Daken’s clothes, and an analog clock on the wall, and a real comb that didn’t wreck his hair in the bathroom. _Is this domestic bliss?_

* * *

There were times when being an omega level mutant with ice slide building powers was really, really great. Today was one of those days. Bobby had carted Scott out to White Castle over on 103rd st and 1st avenue, and once they had two large bags of food and a few drinks Bobby ferried them back over to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis Reservoir and settled them down on the north side, west of the gothic bridge under some trees. Scott had done his part and brought a thick blanket, which was welcomed now that they were settling into their food. “Come on, how cool is a drink carrier made out of ice? Our drinks are frosty!”

“Anything made of ice is _cool_ by default, yes.” Scott chuckled and unwrapped his burger to take a bite. Every once in a while he had this craving for shitty fast food and it was often Bobby who accompanied him to satiate said craving. Logan didn’t mind either but Logan was busy being a good Dad and taking his four kids out on a trip to Luna Park on Coney Island. Gabby had demanded that they needed to celebrate ‘Ken’ being back appropriately. Scott wasn’t sure if he’d call going to an amusement park _appropriate_ but he also wasn’t thirteen years old. The look on Daken’s face when Gabby had announced what was happening had been good enough to justify the trip though. Scott wasn’t sure he’d ever get used to seeing that sort of affection and forbearance on Daken’s face. 

“Wow Scott, way to ruin a pun.” Bobby rolled his eyes and took a long pull off of his soda. “You treated it like Old Yeller.”

“I know, I’m so much fun!” Scott grinned and picked up the strawberry milkshake. Fast food was a wonderful sin.

“You’re ruthless, utterly ruthless.” There was a lull in conversation as they each indulged themselves. The dappled sunlight drifted across their blanket, and a light breeze shifted the leaves over head. They couldn’t quite see the reservoir, but they could feel a coolness from it, and Bobby liked being so near a large body of water. Eventually they slowed and Bobby found himself wanting to make conversation, “So, how’s the new job treating you?”

“Well, the world is still standing. The Avengers haven’t shown up yet and no one has died recently. I think so far I have things under control.” Scott chuckled at himself and then shrugged, “I don’t feel as useless and bored as I did before. That’s nice.”

“Kitty’s playing nice then?” That was something Bobby was curious about. He hadn’t said much to her over the last few weeks. He’d been busy since her wedding, and now that he had a little down time he wasn’t sure how to go about trying to fix their friendship. 

“So far, yes. I think she is just very tired of infighting. So am I and everybody else.”

“Well, at least that’s working out.” Bobby laid back and looked up through the leaves. “It’s weird to have to ask other people about her. I think she’s still not all that pleased with me dating Daken.”

“How is that going anyway?” Scott cocked his head, curious now, “He kinda ran off and then spent three days in a coma. You two doing alright?”

“He’s used to being on his own, so this whole, being able to ask for help thing is still really new to him. I’ve managed to show up both times and salvage things so … hooray?” Bobby shrugged and crossed his legs. “I like being with him and it’s … well it’s pretty serious. Both of us are big dumb dorks with big dumb feelings.”

“You think he’ll learn to trust you? Rely on you and the rest of us?”

“Yeah. It’s going to take some time but he trusts me. It scares him, but he still trusts me.” Bobby looked over at Scott, “I’m in love. Hook, line, sinker. The whole deal. I’m in love with him.”

“Trusting people _is_ scary so he has a point there.” Scott sipped on his drink and then nodded slowly, “And yeah, I figured it was like that. You look at him like he’s the sun and the moon, and the stars all at once.”

“He is.” Bobby laughed and shook his head. “Yeah, I’m stupid about him. Which is why I’m taking a trip. I’ve been meaning to ask you for a favor.” With a wide grin Bobby continued, “We’re going to drive out to LA and check on his place out there. It should take us about two weeks. I was hoping you’d help cover my classes, and Quen can keep Purple team training and so on. Jimmy can even step in for Daken.”

Scott blinked a few times and then just said in a horrified tone, “You are putting Quentin in charge? Of actual living breathing people?”

“He won’t forget them in a jar.” Bobby shot back. 

“Oh that’s … yeah. But he tends to not be the most sociable person. I mean, I’ve only had the chance to talk to him once since coming back, for more than a sleepy good morning anyway … has he changed much?”

“He has. Quentin has been growing up for a while now. What he needs is for people to treat him like he’s an actual adult, instead of expecting him to screw up.” Bobby shrugged then and added, “The people he’s ‘in charge’ of are Illyana and Hisako. You think either of those two need looking after or wouldn’t be able to put him in his place if he started something?”

That made Scott chuckle, “Okay fair point there. And I can understand wanting to be treated like an adult, not a misbehaving child.”

“I’m a bit defensive about him, I know. It’s just that Quen is just the sort of person we should be fostering and supporting.” There was a brief pause as Bobby gathered his thoughts, “I know he’s caused a giant world of trouble in the past, but when we break down why it happened, it all comes back to him not getting the support he needs and acting out as a result of it. He’s doing what he can to make things right, he’s taking responsibility for his past actions, and _doing_ something about it.”

“He’s a troubled child that due to the timing of his first acting out ended up being cast aside instead of receiving support. I am aware. I don’t really want to think about how many students we might have lost just because Xavier’s go to method was to try and enforce discipline rather than accept that people are individuals and not everyone is going to flourish through being controlled. I kinda tried to reach out to Quentin but I wasn’t in the best place myself …” That was an understatement. There weren’t many moments in his life when Scott had been lower than then. Sitting in a prison cell, waiting for someone to kill him had come close though and the first three weeks after Logan’s death.

“The things you did for him made a difference.” Bobby rolled over on his side and looked at Scott. “He’s told me about you bringing him clothes. That’s stuck with him.”

“Oh good, I wasn’t sure if you knew about that so I was trying not to say the wrong thing and we all know how good I am at that.” Scott rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged, “It just felt wrong you know, the way Xavier called it a _phase_ and dismissed it. So what if it was a phase? That doesn’t make it any less important in the moment. Kids, teenagers – they don’t need you rolling your eyes at them, they need you to support them.”

“It doesn’t hurt anything to let someone use a name they like and wear what they want to wear.” Bobby nodded, “And Xavier was wrong. It wasn’t a phase. Quen’s a man, and he’s grown into a better one than people realize. I’m proud to have him on my team and call him friend.”

“Honestly never quite understood why being trans is such a big deal to some people. The only person affected by it is the trans person themselves. And okay, maybe it’s hard to learn to use different pronouns when you knew someone for years on end but that’s just a process of relearning.”

“Yeah I don't get the fuss either. If you start seeing someone and they let you know that they’re trans and that doesn't work for you, don't sleep with them. I just … how is that a problem? Why are people so freaked out? It's just stupid.” Bobby huffed, rolled over on to his back again and then looked up through the leaves. “It's stupid.”

“Sex should indeed be the only time that matters at all. And even then don’t like freak out. Be polite, apologize and move on. Comes back down to homophobia when someone freaks out about having kissed a trans person or found them attractive and then hears they are trans and goes all mental over it.” Rolling his eyes he huffed, “Like it matters what parts someone has. As long as my partner gave me the time to figure out what to do, I wouldn’t care the least bit.”

That put a grin on Bobby’s face, “Well that’s because you’re bi or pan, or some other exciting not straight label. I don’t know if I’d date a trans guy, but I’m not ruling it out. It’s just that the guy I’m with happens to be cis so …” Bobby shrugged, “It’s just genitals.” Then he sighed and sobered a bit, “I hate that I know I wouldn’t have said this a few years ago. I had my head so far up my own ass.”

“That’s still such an odd thing to say.” Scott frowned and unwrapped another burger, taking a bite before explaining. “I mean, yeah I guess I’m Bi but … I just never thought about it like that. I never contemplated what it means that literally everyone was hot to me. Jean, stunningly beautiful but also, have you looked at Warren? How could anyone not notice how pretty he was? Or miss how buff Hank got and then later, when you stopped looking like an awkward teenager …” He groaned, “Everyone was hot but I knew that boys liked girls and girls liked boys so I only ever went awkward around Jean. Guess I was trying to conform as well.”

“It’s scary, sometimes I’m still freaked out.” Bobby sighed, “I can’t stop being a mutant, I can’t stop being half Jewish but I can try to hide it.” Their eyes met and Bobby shook his head, “Hiding takes a lot of energy though. It doesn’t give anything back. Being out there, being me, that’s a big energy sink too, but it gives back, I feel good. I actually feel good about myself.”

“Being yourself is always going to be scary. You’re putting yourself out there, exposing the vulnerable parts and basically saying _hey hit here and it’s going to hurt the most._ But at the same time that puts you into control. You know you are showing yourself. It won’t be a surprise if someone hits where it hurts the most.”

“Yep.” Bobby nodded and then nudged Scott, “You know Warren wasn’t the only beautiful man on the team.” 

“Huh?” Looking at Bobby with a confused expression he arched a brow, “Well yeah, you turned into quite a handsome young man and Hank was always nice to look at …”

“You’re such an oblivious idiot. You Scott, you are smokin’ hot!” Bobby chuckled and shook his head, “Damn, you really don’t know how good looking you are? Your entire body follows the golden thirds rule.”

“Me?” Scott sat up and stared at Bobby for a moment before shaking his head, “No way. I’m so … average. I mean, yeah okay I guess body wise I could win some points because of the whole obsessive working out thing but … eh. Nothing really that special about me.”

“Your jaw, and your hair, and your hands.” Bobby ticked off the things that set Scott apart, “Plus the whole mystery with your eyes, always a visor or shades. The reality of it sucks, but the aesthetic of it is yes.”

There was a pause and then Scott asked, “Are you flirting with me? I think Daken would have something against that. And … uh, well, Logan might not really care.”

“I’m not ‘flirt’ flirting with you silly!” Bobby rolled his eyes and sat up so that he could push on Scott’s shoulder. “What’s Logan’s type in women? Hu? He likes them gorgeous. Total bomb shells or utterly graceful living works of art. Why would his taste in men be any different?”

Blinking a few times he frowned and then said, “Yeah that’s why one morning he is going to wake up and see me and decide he made one hell of a mistake.”

“Uhhggg! Scott! You’re killing me here!” Bobby shook his head and pushed on Scott’s shoulder again, “Kill-ing me! You’re a total babe! I grew up a closeted homo surrounded by three stupidly gorgeous homosuperiors! It was oppressive!”

“How many times did you wanna go down on Warren in the shower?” Scott smirked then, “Because I had my fair share of that moment occurring.”

“Wow! Just wow!” Bobby picked up the paper sack that was now holding all the spent wrappers and hit Scott in the chest with it. “Wow!”

“What? I was a teenager, I had thoughts!” Scott laughed, “Oddly enough when it was Jean I wanted to like take her out for dinner and buy her flowers. But then I’d look at you guys and it was straight, or rather not straight, to _man I wanna suck a dick_.”

“Ahahaha, you’re so freaking gaaaaaaaaaay!” Bobby blushed and shook his head, “I didn’t have a lot of these thoughts. By the time I was having sexual thoughts I was repressing really hard.”

“You’re not anymore. It’s the best damn thing about coming back, honestly. Just seeing you happy and open – it’s worth all the stress of living.”

“Don’t do that!” Bobby pushed on Scott’s chest and made a funny face as he tried not to have a million emotions at once. “We’re in public! Do not make me cry in public!”

Wrapping his arms around Bobby he held him close and just chuckled softly. “Sorry for being such an emotional older brother.”

“You’re the worst when the world isn’t trying to kill us!” Bobby groaned but returned Scott’s hug with enthusiasm. It felt good, incredibly good, to have his brother back, to have Scott back the way he was meant to be, it just felt right. 

“Ow ow, careful, you are pressing on a sore spot there.” Scott whined but it wasn’t very serious, “Who would’ve guessed that Logan was the type to leave hickies … everywhere. And I mean _everywhere_.”

“Duh, he wants to mark his territory. Freaking feral mutants. They’re all the same.” Bobby shook his head and tried not to press on anything that might be tender. 

“Oh? How many tender spots do you have then?” Now Scott looked curious and amused at the same time.

“No he … he wants to get a tattoo.” Bobby blushed. He didn’t have any hickies. Daken was actually very tender and gentle, even when he was making some of the sweetest faces and sounds. “You know, since I can’t give him a hickie necklace.”

That took Scott by surprise and he had to take a moment to wrap his head around it before it clicked. “Oh. _Oh_. So you two … huh, didn’t see that coming.”

“What? What are you? Scott stop with the super smart thinkie thing you do! You’re supposed to be bad at people and good at math!” 

“I’m bad at social interaction, not at people in general. I’m great at people as long as I don’t need to talk to them.” Scott chuckled and shrugged, “I figured your dynamic would be more of him as the … uh, aggressor but guess not.”

“Everyone thinks I’m a bottom!” Bobby sighed and rolled his eyes. “Even if I am that doesn’t mean I’m not aggressive! I’m totally aggressive!”

“It was more about Daken as a top than you as a bottom actually but good to know you are so concerned with being seen as a bottom.” Scott smiled and added casually, “ I for one am a happy one.”

“Wow!” Bobby’s mouth hung open and he just stared at Scott. “Wow! Wow! Who asked? Wow! Scott! Come on dude!”

“What? Like does that really surprise you? Really?” Scott looked at Bobby with an arched brow, “Bobby, I dated a figurative Goddess and Emma freaking _BDSM gear is perfectly fine battle clothing_ Frost.”

“Yeah that’s fine, it’s fine but did you have to … ugh!” Bobby rubbed his eyes, “I didn’t need that visual! I did not, wow! WOW!”

It made him grin and say casually, “Dating a guy with prior experience does have its perks, right?!”

“WOW!” Bobby pushed on Scott’s chest hard and shook his head. “Fired! You’re fired from being my big brother! Totally fired!”

Laughing he fluffed Bobby’s hair and asked, “Does is bother you to think of me as someone who has an active sex life? I sort of always did since I was like twenty.”

“Logan, it’s Logan.” Bobby shook his head, “Also I just didn’t think about what other people were doing. Sex was work. I didn’t think about it the way I do now.”

“Sex _is_ work. You burn about a hundred calories in the average time sex takes.” Scott chuckled, “But in all seriousness, I get it. I’ve had some questionable sex in my life which I wish I could completely forget about.”

Bobby watched Scott for a moment and almost didn’t speak. When he did his voice was soft, “Are you talking to someone about it?” It was an awkward question but one that Bobby wasn't willing to let go unasked. It was too important a thing to just let slide when given an opportunity like this. “It helps. I can confirm from personal experience.”

“You're not the first person to bring up therapy to me. It seems while I was dead everyone decided to be more mature and responsible about mental health. I … I'll think about it. Last time I went to someone she seduced me and convinced me to have psychic sex because that somehow doesn't count as cheating.”

“Yeah that … yeah.” Bobby nodded and then it hit him and he smiled widely, “You know, you don’t have to meet your therapist face to face. I don’t. I don’t like the idea of going to someone in our community and keeping appointments, and all that. So I use a digital service that places me with a team and I’ve got times to talk to the same person, but if I have an emergency there’s someone who has a basic idea of my case that I can talk to.”

There was a pause as Scott considered but eventually he nodded, “Yeah okay, that sounds better than repeating the same thing. I'll give it a serious thought.”

“I can let you sit in on one of my sessions if you end up on the fence about it.” With a chuckle Bobby shrugged, “Sorry, I just … it’s good to have you back, and I don’t want things to get the way they were. So, after my road trip, if there’s anything I can do man, just let me know, alright?”

“Alright.” Scott nodded and then got up slowly, “Come on, let's go back. I bet they'll be home soon too.”

* * *

The day had been _exhausting._ Daken was not sure why he had thought being among people in large groups was a good idea right now – without Bobby’s steady, reassuring presence. It had not been a good idea. He had a panic attack and threw up in a public restroom. Logan was the one to come check on him and that had been odd, awkward, but not unwelcome. They were working on making things, well, work.

Now he was home though and home was good. Even though he was still not alone. Zachary had come with a school related, typical teenage, problem. After letting the boy rant for fifteen minutes straight, he was now leaning against his side and playing with the cat. It was that which made him have an idea on how to more gently break the news.

“Hey, you feel okay now Zach?”

Zach’s eyes narrowed and he went stiff. Though Daken was a soothing person, both by his manner and his ‘aura’ Zach saw through him. “Sure, I was feeling fine.”

“It’s unfair how good you have gotten at that.” Daken chuckled as he ran his fingers through that messy, wild, black hair. “You know how I promised you that I’m not just leaving you behind again?”

“Yep.” The ‘p’ popped hard and Zach continued to give Daken a knowing look even as he leaned into the physical affection. “You keep coming back but you keep leaving, and you keep leaving me _here_ when you go. Suppose that isn’t so bad, Drake has to bail you out every time and that’s sort of hilarious.”

“Yes, I know that amuses you.” Daken rolled his eyes but kept smiling. He adored this boy and felt very much responsible for him. “I keep leaving because I don’t know how to stay in one place. This whole having a home thing is really new and weird for me. But I promise, I’m trying.”

Zach was quiet for a few moments and it seemed almost as if he was ignoring Daken in favor of petting Yuki. Finally he answered, “Yeah, I know.”

“And right now, I need to get out of here.” Daken sighed and looked annoyed with himself but there was also something spooked in his gaze. “The person that hurt me … no, the people that hurt me - they are both alive and free. It makes me want to run to the other side of the world but … I won’t. I’m not going that far.”

“You have me though.” Zach smiled and pushed against Daken’s side. “Whatever those jokers are gonna try. I’ll just be there, I’ll amp you up, I’ll make them house cats.” 

“Ha, don’t insult our little fluffy friend. She is fierce!” Daken smiled and nodded, “I know, logically, that I’m safe here but you know that emotions aren’t logical. Bobby suggested we take a trip to LA and I think that’s what I need right now. But little Yuki cannot be confined to a car for seven days, she is too young and full of energy. So … you’ll take good care of her for me, right?”

The frustrated words had been right on the tip of Zach’s tongue and they were gone again as soon as Daken asked him to watch Yuki. He looked down at the fluffy ball of silver glory with big eyes. She looked back at him and Zach felt a warm sort of tingle in his chest. When he looked at Daken he nodded, “Of course dude, who else could possible be trusted?”

“No one.” Fluffing that wild hair again he smiled, proud and pleased, “My little sister is great but she has a scary wolverine pet to handle already. So it’s just you and Yuki likes you more anyway because she favors boys.”

“She’s got good taste is what you mean.” Zach had rolled his eyes at the mention of Gabby. The pair of them did not get along. “Yuki’s got class.”

“Clearly she does. She picked me as her owner.” Grinning Daken looked playfully smug.

“Who wouldn’t pick you?” The expression on the boy’s face was incredulous with an almost sneering tilt to it. “Have you looked in the mirror or listened to yourself talk?”

“You are absolutely right.” With a soft laugh he leaned back and then changed topic, “Want to watch a movie together before Bobby comes looking for me?”

“What do you see in him anyway?” Zach pulled Yuki into is lap and made a face as the kitten’s paws dug into his thigh. 

There was a short pause. How did one answer that in terms that a developing teenager could not only grasp but that would also _not_ cause any harm? Daken knew exactly why he was so utterly in love with Bobby, had spend days, weeks, months contemplating that very question - but it was not something that could be summed up in simple, easy words. With a sigh Daken admitted softly, “He makes me smile. I feel safe with him.”

Zach let out an exasperated sigh, “You’re making that face, and that doesn’t make sense. Drake tried to cut you in half, he like creepy kissed you, and he punched me. Yeah he said he was sorry and he’s been … well he hasn’t been a tool, but … but really. What gives? How did you fall for such a dork?”

“Some people need someone in their life who fills the gaps in their own personality. Bobby is everything I am not and he brings out sides of me that I didn’t know I had. I like that. I like feeling a little less broken.”

There was a long low sigh and Zach shook his head, “You sound like some sort of romance movie. This is just … Is it his ass? Is that what this is about? Are the kisses that good? Does he have pheromones?”

“He does have a nice butt.” Daken nodded and then laughed, “But I never looked for that in someone. The only person who made me feel even remotely close to how he makes me feel wasn’t all that pretty but they were gentle, smart, creative. It’s not always as easy as _wow he is hot_.”

“This is about feelings? This is really about his personality?” Zach couldn’t help looking quite put out. Yuki purred very loudly so he glanced down at her. The cat gave him what he was sure was a _look_ and then jumped out of his lap and went to go lay in the window. 

“If it wasn’t, then it would have to be about sex and since we aren’t having any … that doesn’t make sense.”

With another long, low sigh Zach shook his head. “You are impossible. I don’t understand you, not at all, not even a little.”

“Yeah you do. You know me better than most people here. You just feel pouty I fell for Bobby because he was mean to us - at first.”

There was nothing Zach could say to that. It was true and he didn’t want it to be. All the other things that were true about why he didn’t like Daken and Drake dating were too raw and emotional for him to say even to Daken himself. “He’s still a dork.”

“Yes, he is but he's _my_ dork. I love him.”

That gave Zach pause. He rubbed his hands on his knees and then looked at Daken, “Like, the forever sort of Love?”

“I don't know but I hope so.” Daken knew he was coloring a little but he stayed calm and honest, “Does that bother you? My feelings for him change nothing about the fact that I love you too. You are important to me, Zach.”

“No I just …” Zach licked his lips and shrugged, “Mom brought boyfriends home, but she never said she loved them. It was always just … just someone for her to have around. I guess … I guess I don’t really know what this is. I thought you two were just … I thought it was just normal, just a game, or just someone to have around but … but you like … you have Happily Ever After feelings about Drake.”

“This is something that matters and that makes a difference in my life. What your mother did was fill the silence with interchangeable nonsense. The reason why you don't need to worry about this is because Bobby is helping me _be better_. Healthier and happier but also more honest and less afraid. I might have failed you if he hadn't helped me take a deep breath and accept that I have responsibilities. He isn't between us, Zachary. He is _with_ us.”

There was a little more silence. When Zach spoke it was with an earnestness he didn’t normally let people see, “Look, I believe you, like up here,” He touched his head, “but everywhere else is stupid okay? So you just … just soothe me, or whatever it is you do. I don’t wanna be a pissy little jerk about it, but I … I can’t just stop expecting something bad to happen.”

Daken shook his head and drew Zach into his arms, holding on tight. “No powers. I promised. We'll get there, Zach. One day you'll believe me not just logically.”

“It should be different if I ask.” The embrace was warm and comforting. Even Zach couldn’t remain aloof in the face of it. He closed his eyes and turned his face towards Daken’s chest, imagining for a moment that he could smell the confidence coming off of him, that it was contagious, and if he just soaked it up long enough he’d believe it all.

“I know but this isn't the right thing to use my power for. Feeling scared is okay.” For a little while Daken just held Zachary and stroked his back. Only when he felt the boy relax a little did he speak again, “I've been thinking about you a lot. I wanted to wait until I'm back but … your mother is horrible and she doesn't deserve you as her child. I know I'm not the most qualified but, you know, I think maybe if you liked the idea we could see about making me your legal guardian and maybe even … adoption.”

Zach looked up at Daken in surprised awe, “It would really piss her off if I told her I’d rather have no last name than her’s.”

“Ha, I bet. I do technically have one though. I faked a lot of legal documents to be officially called Daken Akihiro. And there is … Howlett.”

“Akihiro? Or Daken? Howlett is not an option.” Zach curled his lip and thought, “You’re real serious about Drake, did you talk to him? Are you going to take his name? Because I don’t wanna take yours and then you take his, that’s total bullshit!”

“I think it's a bit too soon for marriage plans but … maybe one day. Officially Akihiro is my last name right now. But who knows, maybe Bobby wants in on the parenting and we get married after all.” Daken chuckled at the idea.

“You talk to him and figure out what our last name is.” Zach looked thoughtful, “I’ll … I’ll write Mom a letter and talk to miss Guthrie about it.” 

“So you - you do … you would like this?”

Zach nodded and smiled wickedly, “Come on, who wouldn’t want this? I never wanna go back, she doesn’t want me … and you know Josh Foley? He’s got Dani Moonstar as his guardian. He’s … well you’ve seen him. I was hoping that you might ask but … but I figured you would be too busy with … well with your real family.”

“You _are_ my real family. Just as much as Gabby, Laura - all of them. I'll be damn proud to call you my son.”

There were words caught in Zach’s throat. He blinked and tried to speak, but nothing came out. He just stared at Daken till he couldn’t see him for the fog and stinging in his eyes. Then a loud sob took him and the boy just cried. 

“I know. I know.” Holding Zachary close he just stroked down his back and did the tiniest bit of soothing without directly influencing. It was a hard thing to do, giving someone a nudge with his ability without forcing them to react but he had a good fifty plus years of experience. “I've got you.”

Someone else would have fought it, someone else would have just given in. Zach wanted it, he wanted to just relax, he wanted to be soothed and comforted. He wanted it with everything he was, for this to be real, to belong to something, really belong. The part of him that remembered the look on his mother’s face when she let them take him tried to hold out, but it was a losing battle. Daken didn’t let go, he didn’t give up, and he’d proved time and again, that he would come back. Zach relaxed, he finally relaxed, and though he was still crying he forced a few words out, “You owe me.”

“Yeah? You're right in a general sense. I do but I think you are trying to go for making a point. So will you tell me what for?”

Zach looked up at Daken and smirked through his tears, “You came and went a lot with your sisters. You’d have met back up with, them Laura never tried to pin you down. If it weren’t for me you wouldn’t have stayed, and if you hadn’t stayed you’d never have gotten all heart eyes over Drake.”

“That's -” Daken blinked slowly and then started to laugh, “Fuck, you are _right_!”

The laughter stopped Zach’s tears. He found himself unable not to join in. “I’m the best son you never had.”

“You are.” Daken calmed a little but the smile stayed, “Look, I don't know if I'll always do right by you but I swear that I _will_ try. You are important and special, and you deserve to be treasured.”

“I’m a luxury few can afford, it’s true.” Zach leaned in and chuckled a little, feeling much, much better, “You better bring me gifts after your honeymoon LA trip thing.”

“Of course. I got to spend my money on _something_ after all.” Fluffing Zach's hair he nodded and relaxed into the couch. This had gone much more smoothly than expected. _He wants to be my son. Fuck. Have I really changed that much?_ It was a question without answer - for now. Daken felt that he just needed to wait and see if things worked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey all, Nausi here!**
> 
> While the stakes are fairly low in this chapter, and it’s all pretty slice of life, I really loved writing it. There’s a lot going on here that’s deeply important to Finn and I. Daken and Bobby really starting to cement who they are as a couple, Scott and Bobby chatting about life, sex, and the harmful ignorance in the world, and Daken and Zach coming to an understanding, taking the first step to actualizing their found family. Three scenes, three themes, all very deeply close to our hearts. As happens so often writing a large piece, the Zach scene almost didn’t happen. Finn brought it up, and then we gave it a test drive and realized just how important it was weeks after the first draft of this chapter. 
> 
> Finn and I take TDYK very seriously. We write it for pleasure, for experience, for you readers, for a chance to say our piece, and because we have too many feelings about fictional characters. We’ve been able to post at least once a week, and often twice a week for months, but that is coming to an end. We’re going on hiatus. We want to take our time getting the road trip all hammered out. There are a few scenes that are a bit delicate, important, and or difficult. So we’re going to give some of our readers a chance to catch up now that summer is over, and take time to make sure these next chapters are close to perfect as they can be. 
> 
> You might see a few bonus chapters go up in Reflections, as well as short one shots in our A heavy heart to carry collection. Otherwise please watch our tumblrs for news about how things are going. We’ll be in touch. And as always, thanks for reading.


	54. Chapter 54

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day #01 - Being on the road, when the urge to run and hide is almost overwhelming, helps quite a bit and the good company makes things even better. Daken is feeling adventurous and Bobby is along for the ride.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Tags:**
> 
> **Part 1:** Romance, Relationship Building, Road Trip, Humor, Hinted Sexual Content, Illegal Activity
> 
> **Part 2:** Explicit Sexual Content, Sexual Exploration, Sexual Boundaries, Complex Consent, Rewards, Praise, Masturbation, Clothed Oral Play, Conversation During Sex, Reclaiming Sexuality, Healing, Progress

**Monday**

In theory getting to spend hours on end with the object of your deepest desires and affection was an incredible opportunity. The reality was not entirely divorced from that romantic viewpoint, but included the fact that this experience was a bit of a test. Could they deal with each other in an enclosed space for hours and days on end? Could they agree on music? Could they agree on how fast was too fast? Could they refrain from being pissy with one another over bathroom breaks? A half hour in Bobby was feeling optimistic. It was a four or five hour drive from the school down to Washington DC, their first big stop. They’d dragged themselves out of bed and put their behinds into the silver SUV with it’s heated, or cooled, leather seats at 4am. Bobby was riding passenger, and while he’d been getting used to everything, and Daken was getting settled he’d just let him pick the music. Now he felt was the time to make his move.

“So, uh, not to be that person, but I think we’ve got to talk about the music situation. Don’t worry, I’ve got a solution and everything. Also I know the rules of the road say driver picks but if you’ll humor me I think you’ll be surprised at what I’ve got, almost as surprised as I was by this luxury SUV.”

“There are rules to who picks the music?” Daken frowned and glanced at Bobby briefly before focusing back on driving, “See, I usually don’t drive with others. Not in a car at least.”

“Yeah sort of weird to not be riding with my arms around your waist and the wind tying my hair in knots.” Bobby shrugged and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “You remember when I asked you about music yesterday? That was because I needed it for this.” Bobby fussed around with the radio till it and his phone were connected. “I made us a twenty hour playlist with songs from both our spotify most played lists. It’s on random.”

There was a soft 'hm’ in reply and then Daken asked, “Is this your idea of compromise to keep this relationship going? Because that's genuinely smart.”

“Thank you yes. I figured that there was a far lower chance of us wanting to kill each other if we just let technology pick from a giant pool of our combined tastes.” Bobby shrugged. 

“Want a reward?” Daken tried not to smirk but it was a wasted effort, this was too amusing to be serious about, “We've got a few hours of driving ahead but that simply means we have plenty of time to come up with something fun.”

Those words gave Bobby pause. He looked over at Daken and cocked his head, “I like rewards.”

“Who doesn't? Rewards are great.” Daken made a soft sound as he reached over, resting one hand on Bobby's thigh. It was an intimate but not overly forward gesture.

Bobby put his hand over Daken's and smiled over at him. “Are you about to sing?”

“Hu? Now why would I do that? I can't sing.”

“Kitten, the truth is out and you need to have a talk with you littlest sibling.” Bobby shook his head and looked over at his boyfriend. “There's a video of you singing to Gabby on her Twitter.”

There was a pause and then Daken groaned, “That little devil! It's the children's rhyme isn't it? No one is ever going to take me seriously again. Ever. Period”

“Or, the next time you beat someone within an inch of their life they are going to feel about two inches tall.” Bobby squeezed Daken's hand and smiled, “Also you have a beautiful voice.”

“I can't decide if I want to scold my little sister or buy her a gift for being so bold and clever that I haven't even noticed her recording me.” Daken chuckled and squeezed back, “I have the most adorable baby sister.”

“Gabby is a rare gem, that is true.” Bobby nodded. “So what is this reward if it isn’t singing? You’ve gotta tell me.”

Making a thoughtful sound he just smiled and stroked his thumb over the back of Bobby's hand. “It's a secret … you'll see when we settle in our hotel.”

“Well that’s like a zillion hours from now, so you are the meanest!” Bobby grinned and shook his head, “So, have you thought about what pictures we’re taking for Gabby? I’ve got a few ideas for what we should do when we make it to DC …”

~~~~~~

Getting an early start had it’s benefits. Like the fact that they had time to grab a real breakfast when they got into town. It also meant that they had time to make themselves presentable before they went out to the National Mall. Which meant that when they hit the pavement they were both feeling sassy and ready for their close up. 

Though Bobby didn’t have an actual selfie stick, he had his powers, and that was more than enough. No one seemed to care much about he and Daken holding hands, kissing, and snapping photos. A few people stopped to look at his patented ice selfie stick. A few people stared at how gorgeous Daken was, and a few kids knew who Bobby was. _Mostly_ they made it through the throngs of people unassailed.

As they walked past the large columns that flanked the entryway of the Lincoln memorial Bobby couldn’t help feeling a little giddy. He squeezed Daken’s hand and then leaned in to whisper against his ear, “We should get in his lap. Gabby will love the pictures, and it’ll be amazing!”

Daken blinked, looked at his boyfriend and then asked, “Is that legal?”

There was a perfectly innocent look on Bobby’s face as he shrugged and asked, “Does that matter?”

“A little.” Daken said, contemplative and in a playful manner, “After all, I cannot let America’s favorite gay superhero do something illegal! That would be corruption.”

“Once we get our picture we don’t care about hanging out. No one is going to chase us.” Bobby looked around at the minimal security and then back at Daken, “Come on. I have to be a mature adult all the time here lately. This is classic Iceman, classic me. Let’s do it!”

Any argument and playful discussion was forget the moment Bobby looked at him with utter, childish, glee in these blue eyes and the brightest smile Daken had ever seen. “Alright Snowflake, whatever makes you smile at me like that.” Daken grinned and squeezed Bobby’s hand.

Lincoln sat there, giant and unreal. Bobby felt himself giggle as they wove their way forward. This was insane, and stupid, and just so very perfect. Most of why Bobby had suggested this trip was to get Daken out, get him moving, give him _something_ to focus on for a bit. Next up was getting to spend time with his boyfriend, getting to be with each other outside of the school. The third runner up was this, this feeling. The ability to _not_ be the responsible teacher, to just let go and do something harmless and stupid. 

“Hey! Do you see that?” A voice from behind them called.

“What?”

“A giant? An ice giant!” The crowd, almost as one, turned and Bobby giggled again. They were focusing on what was happening outside. The diversion he’d summoned up was harmless, and perfect, no one could look away. How could they when there was a giant ice golem leaning against the Washington Monument. 

With everyone’s back turned, including the guards, they went into action. Bobby made a few ice steps to make scampering up into Lincoln's giant stone lap easier. “Hurry!

Daken settled in that cold, hard lap and decided to make Bobby sit in his while he fumbled for his phone. This was stupid and ridiculous but in the best of ways. Making Bobby smile and laugh like that was basically what he lived for right now.

People kept talking about the ice golem outside, not even the guards looked back at them. Bobby giggled so hard it was difficult to get a picture. “We need range here.” Bobby made another ice selfie stick and then got a few shots of them, mostly with him giggling, but a few of them had kisses. “Okay, let's get down! Don’t wanna wear out our welcome.”

With a soft laugh Daken jumped down and held out his arms, “Dare you.”

“You don’t gotta dare me!” Bobby jumped down into Daken’s arms, laughing loudly. A few people turned, but that didn’t matter. His ice golem was disappearing now, the ice stairs were long gone. No one had seen them in Lincoln's lap. Neither of them had been caught. The guards could give them dirty looks all they wanted. It didn’t matter. Daken was smiling.

Taking Bobby’s hand again Daken kissed his cheek and then said, “Let’s get the hell out of here.”

* * *

After hours on the road they had made it to Washington and Bobby had been more than a little excited to drag him from one attraction to the next, always holding hands, always being ridiculously obvious about their relationship status. Daken didn’t mind. Not even a little. Mostly he found the enthusiasm cute and fun. There was only so much energy he had to socialize though. That was why they were in their hotel room now as the sun was sinking behind the line of the horizon.

They had picked their hotels in advance and booked places so that there would be no camping in the car. Daken had insisted he was too old for that and the look on Bobby’s face had been totally worth the joke. As they dropped their little bags on the bed in their room he was pleased with himself for the choice. It was high end but not ridiculously expensive. Comfortable and clean, most importantly the room didn’t reek of bad things he didn’t want to know about the previous occupants.

“So, you like it?”

Turning around Bobby looked at the room, it was not huge but it was more than big enough for their purposes. The bed was bigger than the ones back at the school, there was a door that he assumed lead to a bathroom, and some windows that looked like they opened onto a small balcony. It was sleek and clean looking without being sterile. Bobby shrugged, “Yeah, it’s … well it’s the least, ‘just a stop along the road’ sort of place I’ve ever seen. Guess you’re too old to sleep in seedy motels hu?”

Daken expression was downright miserable when he said, “You don’t want to know the things I can smell in run down motels. Imagine eating your dinner out of the toilet – that’s how it feels to just know things about places. Could you sleep in a bed that smells of urine, semen and worse unmentionable crap?”

“Sounds like nightmare fuel to me.” Bobby shivered and shook himself to shake away the unpleasant feeling Daken’s words had evoked. “So, this isn’t just part of you trying to impress and continuously seduce me. Good to know.”

“Ha, I don’t think I need to impress you with money.” Daken chuckled and bent down to take off his boots as he continued, “It’s about comfort. I don’t want to sleep on the floor because it’s actually cleaner than the rest of the room.”

“Yeah that’s gross.” Bobby thought back to some of the places he’d stayed and wondered about the dorms from his college days. _Best not to think too hard on it._ He slipped off his own shoes and then wandered off to make use of the bathroom. It was as nice as he expected it to be. Upon wandering back out he smiled at Daken and asked, “So … there was mention of a reward.”

“Oh? Was there?” Daken blinked, a perfect mask of confusion in place, “I can’t seem to recall such a thing …” Making a thoughtful sound he pulled off his pants and then the simple black button up.

“There was but …” Bobby felt his hands itch with the desire to reach out and touch Daken. All the handholding and sweet soft touches through the day seemed to only make him more needy. “... I’m not gonna complain if it turns out you were just joking.”

“A joke would require a sense of humor, no? I don’t have such a thing.” Left with nothing but a pair of comfortable, well fitted underwear he settled on the bed and arched a brow, “Why don’t you come here and kiss me, hm?”

“You have a sense of humor you sassy jerk.” Though Bobby was rolling his eyes he came just as Daken had asked. He got into the bed, wrapped his arms around Daken, and leaned in for a kiss without a second thought. It took a moment for him to realize what was happening, as Daken was distracting him with what might have been the world’s most sensual kiss, but as his pants were pushed down it was obvious. Daken was expertly stripping him while they lay there on their sides, moaning against the other’s lips. 

Stripping someone was simple and Bobby liked to wear comfortable clothing and soft fabrics which simplified his task further. Daken was quite pleased when he threw the last piece of clothing out of the bed and they were both left in just their underwear. All the stress and tension of Jimmy being gone had ended up keeping them from any further exploration than that initial night. It was fine but Daken was done with it anyway. There were things he wanted to try and others which he needed reasons to forget. Romulus was free and there were two options; He could shut off and build the walls back up, like a scared kid unable to do anything but run and hide when faced with a problem – or he could stand his ground and stick with the stubbornness of not wanting Romulus to have control anymore. Daken was pretty firmly for the second option.

“Touch me.” He said it easily, surprising himself with the lack of hesitation and the evenness of his voice, “Hands above underwear but everything else, I think, is fair game.”

“So I keep my hands off the underwear or I can grope you through them?” Bobby smiled innocently, “What? It's good to be precise about these things.”

“Naughty boy.” He chuckled and nodded, “Yeah. Or well, I mean, at least I’m willing to _try._ ”

The answer wasn't clear enough for court but it was clear enough for Bobby; Daken was nervous. “Here, lay back.” With confident and gentle hands Bobby helped guide Daken. Then he laid on his side and hooked a leg over the top of one of Daken's. His hand ran up and down Daken's chest while his lips moved over the curve of his shoulder. “You didn't stab anyone today.”

“Mmh, is that how we judge my behavior now?” Daken chuckled as he relaxed into Bobby’s touch. It was familiar and welcome. “I can go for quite some time without stabbing anyone.”

“Sometimes people need to be stabbed though.” Bobby's index finger circled Daken's far nipple as he continued with the shoulder kisses. “I am in favor of stabbing when it's called for.”

“You've spent too much time working with my Dad.” His breathing quickened ever so slightly but there was nothing but excitement. No fear, no worry, no tension.

With a little chuckle Bobby kissed over Daken's jaw and let his fingertips dip towards his navel. “You haven't spent enough time around Scott.”

“Summers is way too into Logan. His judgment is impaired.” It sent a shiver through him, the gentle, featherlight touch and the continued kissing on him. It was - it felt right. And safe. Bobby was enjoying the act for what it was and not just going through the motions because it meant ‘getting some’.

“Trust me, I grew up with him. It's not just Logan.” There was a pause and then Bobby kissed down Daken's throat. “You were so good with that little girl who got lost. You found her mom, that was amazing.”

“Mmh, she was sweet and scared. Couldn’t ignore that. Finding people in a crowd without enhanced senses is a pain.” 

“You’ve got such a big heart.” With a little wiggle and a smirk Bobby got on top of Daken. He wasn’t quite straddling him with one leg between those strong thighs, but neither was he positioned to simulate penetration. Bobby was half hard and wasn’t seeking stimulation in that area. Instead he scooted down to kiss over Daken’s chest and down his stomach while his hands roamed over his sides and down his hips. “Loved how you held my hand all day, made me feel special.”

“I like keeping you close … makes it easier to remember why I’m not half way across the world to get away from _him_.” The kisses were welcomed and he was running his fingers through that freshly cut mess of curls. It wasn‘t too short but Daken could tell that maintaining it would be a pain in the ass. Some hair dressers did that on purpose so that a customer had to keep coming back way more frequently than they would need to if given something they could work with on their own. _Gotta take him to my guy when we‘re in LA._

The easiness in Daken’s voice, and the continued stroking of his hair gave Bobby the confidence he needed to move forward. He kissed down bellow Daken’s navel, humming softly as he came up against the underwear. “That too, you haven’t left me. Wouldn’t hold it against you, just happy we’re doing this together.”

“I want to be with you. There’s nowhere else I _want_ to go.” His fingers flexed but the second passed and he was back to just playing with that silky hair. 

“Wanna be with you too, always.” Their lives would take them apart. Bobby knew that. They couldn’t always be together, but they could chose to have those separations come from external forces, not from inside their relationship. Bobby kissed down next to the shape of Daken’s cock and then back off to the side of his hip. He was slow, purposeful, and watchful. 

Another hitch in his breath, this one more obvious. Bobby was bold and open in that pleasantly undemanding way. Daken didn’t doubt that if he said stop now, it would stop and Bobby would still want to cuddle and kiss him. That made it far easier to stay relaxed than anything else could have. “Oh? Almost sounds like a proposal.”

“I don’t have a ring on me.” It was the words and the way Daken’s fingers relaxed back into his hair that lead Bobby’s lips back to outlining the shape of Daken’s cock. Bobby’s nose got in on the act, as did his whole upper body. Bobby’s face moved in an expanding arc, lining the growing shape but never kissing directly on the shaft itself. “Caught me practicing.” 

Bobby was coaxing him to get aroused and that was kinda nice. It wasn’t a demand, it wasn’t an expectation either. The act felt far more like a curious question of ‘ _will you get hard for me_ ’? And the answer was apparently yes. “Practice what?” His voice sounded throaty, “Proposing?”

“Let’s call it, next level gay shit.” Bobby chuckled and then turned his head so that he could open his mouth wide and just breathe heavily on Daken’s cock. His own was entirely hard at this point. Daken was trusting him, and enjoying this. Those two things added to the fact that he was enjoying the privilege of playing with Daken’s cock were more than enough to get Bobby going. Ignoring it wasn’t easy but it was well within his ability to do.

There was a pause as Daken forgot how to breath, speak and think. It didn’t last long but it was followed by a low moan and his fingers tightening in these dark curls. Bobby was playing unfair. Daken had no idea what he wanted to say anymore.

“You’re so beautiful like this.” The words were spoken over the top of Daken’s cock, Bobby’s lips grazing the soft material which lay between them. After a moment he moved his head up and down and let his nose press down, firmer than his lips had. “Stop touching me if you want to cuddle.”

_Clever_. Daken breathed out heavily and thanked whatever higher sort of power _might_ exist for making him fall in love with someone smart enough to grasp the concept of complex consent. His hands didn’t pull back though and he didn’t stop touching. There was a little nervousness but mostly he felt _good_.

After several moments worth of waiting Bobby moved onto the next phase that he hadn’t planned for but had fantasized about a great deal. He licked over the now ridged form of Daken’s cock and moaned loudly. Bobby imagined he could taste Daken through the thin fabric. _I want to blow you so bad, oh god, I want to make you feel so good._

Daken gasped and his hips bucked without thought. Bobby’s breath had been hot but this was more. It was almost _too_ much but not quite. That layer between Bobby’s hot, wet tongue and his own skin was enough to take away the edge of it. “Bobby …” It wasn’t what he had planned but then again his plan had been pretty simple and undetailed.

Rather than just keep going Bobby looked up at Daken and asked, “Do you wanna cuddle?” _You are so freaking gorgeous and I cannot begin to fathom how much you trust me._

All he could manage was to shake his head at first. Words were hard when about eighty percent of his blood had decided to be down south instead of up north in his brain. Then he settled on a single, simple, ambiguous word; “Please …”

Bobby ran his internal Daken translator on what he was getting. Daken didn’t want Bobby to come up for cuddles, that was the head shake and continued physical contact. Daken did want him to keep going, wanted it badly even. Part of Bobby really wanted to just blow Daken but that wasn’t part of their arrangement. Daken had said, over the underwear, and there was no going back on that, not now that they had already started and Daken was clearly not able to fully verbalize his desires. So Bobby smiled at Daken and nodded, “Yes Kitten, I’ll lick you.” With that Bobby set into licking and kissing over the shape of Daken’s clothed cock, not focusing on any one part. 

It shouldn’t have happened so quickly but Daken was pretty sure it didn’t take more than maybe a minute after that for him to make a sticky mess in against his own skin. The combination of not at all having expected this to happen, Bobby being unendingly patient and understanding, and a lot of pent of desire had him come like a damn teenager. And it was _good_. It was better than good, it was – words failed him.

Though Bobby was an adult it took everything in him not to laugh or cheer, or do something else stupid. Instead he moaned, loudly and kept licking for a moment, knowing that continued stimulation made orgasms a lot better as long as it stopped before it became too much. Then he kissed around Daken’s navel and smiled up at him.

Panting heavily he flexed his hands and then gave into instinct. Pulling Bobby up into a needy, nippy kiss he moaned shamelessly as he pulled their bodies close. The feeling of Bobby’s cock against him was more than welcome. “Bobby …” His voice was breathy and he was looking at Bobby through thick lashes, eyes dark with desire, “I want to watch … lemme see you.”

Again Daken wasn’t speaking all in complete sentences but Bobby was easily able to understand. Even breathless from incredible kisses he forced himself to look Daken right in the eyes and said, “You don’t touch the groin area, you watch, hug me, and kiss me. Understand?”

“Yes.” That was easy. Daken _wanted_ to touch but he didn’t trust himself with a choice like that right now any more than Bobby did.

Knowing that Daken would respect his boundaries Bobby laid back. He licked his palm and pushed down his underwear at the same time. His cock jumped out, dripping and flushed. _Shit, I was really ignoring that._ The heat of his own hand was welcomed, and long overdue. Bobby was honestly surprised by the fact that he’d been able to just put his own desire completely out of mind. The delay came with benefits. He was eager and needy in a way he wasn’t really used to. His fist started to pump, no artistry, or frills, just a little twist and his thumb rubbing over the top to be knocked out of the way, over and over again. “Ah … Aki - Akihiro!”

Purring softly he lied down next to Bobby and just watched with wide eyes. Bobby was gorgeous like this. The way that blush extended down his chest, the kiss swollen lips, well earned muscles and a beautiful cock that begged to be kissed. Daken didn’t do it but he thought about it, even more so as that bead of precum collected at the tip. “Yeah … gonna come for me, aren’t you Snowflake? Know you want to …”

“God your voice.” Bobby turned his head and met Daken’s gaze. His hand moved faster, gripped harder, and his balls felt tight, full, it was almost overwhelming. “Say my name, tell me - want me …”

“I want you, Bobby.” Smirking he leaned in and kissed along Bobby’s neck, “I want to lick that precum away and taste you, memorize you …” Bobby would feel his still present erection easily.

Bobby groaned loudly as he lost the last semblance of self control. He felt his eyes roll up and his breath hitch as waves of pleasure rushed over him, and a great glob of heat settled on his chest. 

That was not the groin area. Daken smirked as he leaned his head down to lick over Bobby’s chest, cleaning up the mess he had made with a pleased sound.

“Holy shit that’s hot!” Bobby heard his voice crack as he watched Daken lick cum off of his chest. His cock twitched but there was nothing happening there for at least ten minutes. His chest rose and fell more and more evenly but his eyes were locked on Daken as his body jittered with euphoria. “You like?”

“Mmh, yes.” Licking his lips he placed one more kiss on Bobby’s skin and then lied back down, lazily stretching. “Tastes like you and I like you.”

“Good, I made it just for you.” If he had not already been flushed he would have been after that. Chuckling at himself Bobby closed his eyes and just laid there, goofy with afterglow, and too blissed out to move. 

For several minutes there was nothing but incredibly relaxed and peaceful silence. Then Daken whined and started to wiggle out of his underwear, “Ew sticky, drying cum.”

That made Bobby giggle. He leaned in to help Daken, “Here, here, let me help you, you’ll feel a little cool and wet, it’s just me …” The drying cum was gone, as were the offending undergarments. The mess on Bobby’s chest was gone as well. In the shuffle about he couldn’t help noticing that despite coming Daken’s body had not relaxed. “So, is that the improved stamina or something else?”

“Near zero refractory period.” Daken shrugged, “You know these creepy ads for batteries with the bunny? I’m that bunny. Though, it’s been a while since once wasn’t enough for the annoyance to go away.”

The color that had eased from Bobby’s face returned now and he kissed Daken, hard on the mouth, and then murmured against his cheek, “I love you too.”

“I know.” Smiling softly he kissed Bobby’s cheek and then asked, “This … was this okay?”

Before answering Bobby looked at Daken, and tried to figure out what was expected. “So long as you don't feel pressured or used, yes, this was amazing. I wish I could smell it, like you do, the way you feel.”

Smiling softly he took Bobby’s hand and kissed the palm, “I feel good. No pressure, no odd guilt afterwards. It might still come but that doesn’t mean much. I’ve felt guilty over masturbating more than once and that really isn’t harmful to anyone period. Just my brain being stupid over years and years of only receiving ‘ _pleasure_ ’ from him.”

“Good.” Bobby nodded. “It was really good, and you were perfect. The way you asked for what you wanted, the way you set out clear boundaries, that was hot, and it makes me happy and I just really, really love what’s happening.”

“Yeah.” Daken nodded as well and then smiled, a little shy but clearly honest, “It’s … knowing he didn’t take everything from me … it’s nice.”

“You’re stronger than he wants you to believe you are.” Bobby cupped Daken’s face in his hand and smiled back, “You’re so much more than anything that nightmare ever wanted you to be. You’re incredible, and I think you scare him.”

“If I don’t scare him yet, I will eventually.” There was nothing but pure hatred and firm determination in these blue-gray eyes for a moment before Daken’s gaze softened again, “Enough of him. I wanna cuddle and kiss until we both fall asleep.”

“Sounds like a perfect night to me.” Bobby nodded, and he felt sure as his little ice golems moved through the room, checking that things were locked, lights were out, and no one was hiding in their hotel room, that they were in fact going to have an incredible trip. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here!**
> 
> It’s been a hot minute hasn’t it? Finn and I have been working hard while we’ve been on hiatus. We’ve had ideas, and snags, and done draft after draft. I think all of the road trip chapters have taken twice as long as everything else. It’s been quite the experience and I’m glad to be sharing the first part of it with you now. We’re taking a bit of a quiet moment, and indulging in some slice of life storytelling for our next arc. That doesn’t mean there won’t be excitement or trouble, just that the stage has shifted. I did a lot of research for this but I haven’t been to most of the places on this trip, and Finn’s never been to America at all. So if we mix something up, or write something that doesn’t make sense for the location, please be understanding. Were it up to me Finn and I would take this road trip as research and be able to add lots of first hand little details, but that’s not the life of a fanfiction writer for the most part. 
> 
> We look forward to hearing from you all again. We’ve missed you guys, our lovely readers. What do you think the boys are going to do? Where do you think they’ll stop? Have you been to any of these places? What do you think about their intimate exploration? 
> 
> Thank you all for reading!


	55. Chapter 55

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 02 / Day 03 - Bobby has questions to which the answers aren’t easy. There is a mountain with four white old dudes and some trespassing. And finally, Bobby makes up easily for asking difficult questions with nothing out of the ordinary but something so foreign and precious to Daken that there aren’t words for that either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Romance, Relationship Building, Trust Building, Pheromones, Mutant Ability, Past Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Illegal Activity, Trespassing, Explicit Sexual Content, Oral Sex, Handjobs, Orgasms, Complex Consent
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Tuesday**

“You need to put on pants. At the very least.” 

Though Daken’s voice was a welcomed sound, one that Bobby often found himself daydreaming of, the room was dim because it was entirely too early to be awake. He rolled over and looked at his boyfriend through squinty lids with a sour frown on his face. Daken just kept standing there so Bobby made a sound in his chest and scotted towards the edge of the bed. His phone informed him that it was just after 5 am. That was twice in a row, but yesterday there had been the rush of beginning, the excitement of hitting the road. Now Bobby was tired, and the most gorgeous being he’d ever laid eyes one was waiting, grinning expectantly, and holding pants. _What the hell is happening?_ After living as a superhero since the age of twelve Bobby was too well trained to rise, dress, and perform. Daken wanted him up so Bobby got up.

“Coffee.” Bobby heard his voice crack but he crocked on, “If I’m putting on pants there must be coffee flavored kisses.” He felt himself startle under the enthusiasm with which Daken kissed him then. “Mmm! Mmm mmmorning to you too!”

It was too early to be this excited and yet Daken felt like he was high strung enough, in a good way, to be bouncing off the walls. “Mornin’ Snowflake.” With a grin he put a venti cup of Nitro cold brew into Bobby‘s hands, of course with sugar and cream because Bobby was a sweet boy, and told him, “Drink, put on pants, get in the car. I have breakfast too and unlike your cold coffee, it will get less enjoyable with time.”

“Are you really excited for Nashville? Are you a country fan?” Bobby took a long pull from his coffee as he took the pants with his free hand and started to get dressed awkwardly. Daken watched him for a moment and then started helping. It was a weird almost Mojoverse-esk experience. 

“I will pretend you didn’t ask me if I was a country fan because that is too insulting to acknowledge.” Daken chuckled anyway as he buttoned up Bobby’s shirt and kissed on him as he went about the task. “I’m just having a good morning. And I needed some deliciously overpriced tea so I went to the Starbucks down the street and then I realized I had no clue what you like so I guessed. And apparently I guess pretty well.”

_How do I have a Starbucks coffee right now?_ Bobby’s thoughts were sluggish and fluid in that strange way half sleeping minds tend to. _How does Daken know what I drink? He’s never gone with me to Starbucks, never grabbed me a coffee before …_ “I thought you hated Starbucks.” As far as shirt and pants went Bobby was dressed. He needed shoes and socks now, which meant he needed to get into his bags, which he didn’t see.

“I hate their awful coffees. I am not opposed to their passable teas.” Daken shrugged as he settled on one knee to put socks and shoes on Bobby’s feet.

“Uh … this is a really weird morning.” Bobby reached down and ran his fingers through Daken’s hair to make sure that he was in fact real. 

“Shh, pretend it’s all a strange dream. I’ll be driving so it’s not an issue.” Daken chuckled and leaned into the touch before looking up with a smile, “You can keep sleeping in the car if you want. I just need to do _something_ with all this annoying energy.”

“Sure, might as well make good time today rather than missing out on it in LA.” Bobby nodded, took another sip of coffee, and then stood up once Daken had put his shoes on. They left the hotel room hand in hand. Their shoulders brushed as they checked out with the grinning attendant. Bobby wasn’t sure the only reason they were smiling was that their shift had to be ending soon. It was a hair shy of six when they pulled out of the hotel parking lot. Just as Daken had said there was food waiting for them in the SUV. It was still hot, and Bobby wasn’t sure if it was timing or if the car had a heated compartment or something. While taking a couple bites from his McMuffin Bobby pressed a few buttons on his phone and the stereo, knowing he needed to set up the music now or he’d fall back asleep and leave Daken to drive in silence. As he leaned back in the ridiculously comfortable leather seat _How to write a love song_ by Axis of Awesome started playing. It was one of his, Daken didn’t tend towards parody bands, he was halfway to skipping it when the sound of Daken humming along to the melody startled him into stillness.

Daken wasn’t sure what the song was, he certainly had no idea who was singing it either, but he was in an excellent mood and it did have a fun beat. And hilarious lyrics. Bobby had the oddest of tastes when it came to music but Daken was getting used to just accepting the occasional headache brought on by Bobby’s taste in general.

“Kitten, you’re adorable.” Bobby reached over and put his hand on Daken’s knee with a goofy grin. 

“Mh? I'm so not adorable!” He pouted playfully, “I'm scary and dangerous.”

“Oh sure, that’s what’s happening.” Bobby rolled his eyes and put his feet up on the dash. “The most scary. That’s why I’m falling asleep. I can’t stay conscious for fear of what you might do!”

“Shut up and go back to sleep, Snowflake.” Daken chuckled and leaned over to press a kiss to Bobby's cheek before focusing back on the road. 

~~~~~~

Three hours later Bobby opened his mouth a few times and winced. There was a lot of light. His face felt hot and his mouth felt dry, and the music was still on but Daken wasn’t humming. Bobby pulled himself upright and corrected his general body temperature while reaching for his still cool drink. _Cup holders must have some sort of chill function_. “So hi there boyfriend, how’s it going?”

“Morning part two.” Daken did smile a little but he was less relaxed and enthusiastic than three hours ago. “Roads are as busy as ever but the weather is nice today.”

“Yeah, lots of people all trying to get places. At least we’re out on the highway.” After several more blinks Bobby was aware of the very different energy in the car. Daken wasn’t humming, at all. He wasn’t smiling, or even neutral, he was frowning. Bobby bit his lips a bit and wondered if something had happened while he slept. Maybe there had been a phone call or a telepathic message or something. The silence stretched out with only the sounds of the smooth driving SUV and the music daring to intrude. 

It was after they stopped by a gas station and settled back in the car that Daken finally spoke again. The half hour of silence had worn him out and he was starting to feel anxious and uncomfortable. Maybe, or so he hoped, conversation would help. “So … insert some clever joke here because I cannot for the life of me think of one but I also don’t know how else to stop us from giving each other the silent treatment.”

“I thought you wanted quiet.” Bobby licked his lips and swallowed, feeling a bit put on the spot, but not at all unwilling to try. “We can just … we can pick something to talk about. Just anything. I can go first, or maybe you’ve got a topic?”

“I’ve got nothing.” Daken shook his head, hands flexing around the wheel. “I - … I’m not mad or anything like that. Not at you.”

“Do you wanna talk about that?” Bobby was not surprised when Daken shook his head, “Yeah not such a good idea while driving don't worry.” He let out a breath and tapped his fingers on whatever flat surface was at hand, “Well thanks for saying so, you know, the not mad at me bit.” It was good to know but it didn’t give them something to talk about. Bobby shifted in his seat and finally asked, “So … weird question. Maybe a bad question. How does your pheromone ability work? Being immune I’ve got no experience with it and I’m curious about how it works.”

There was a long pause following that and as the tension became palatable, Daken turned the music off and exhaled heavily. This had to come up eventually. It was just an odd moment, in his opinion, for Bobby to ask. "Pheromones are much like hormones, but where hormones are internal, pheromones are external. Animals, insects, humans - we all produce them but their effect on humans has been lessened significantly over the course of evolution. People do not have, and maybe never had during any point of evolution, direct control over their pheromones but I do. Though, my ability doesn't come with an off switch any more than empathy, telepathy or other similar, related mutations."

Bobby blinked a few times and took it in. What Daken said had layers, and wasn’t at all simple. “No off switch … and it’s related to empathy like mutations? I know all of you ferals can sort of smell emotional states, is that the same for you? Or … different?”

“Different. At least I think so.” Daken shrugged, “I can pick up the most subtle of differences between emotional states and I know how to manipulate them. It’s far more refined than the basics which are covered just by being feral.”

With a thoughtful humm under his breath Bobby shifted in his seat before speaking, “Even the smallest change? How do you sift through all the information?”

“Now you’re asking the type of question I needed decades to understand myself.” Daken sighed and then tried to explain, "There are four types of pheromones; Releasers, Signalers, Modulators and Primers. Each of them serves a different purpose. For example, what I pick up from others immediately are all Signalers - information about a person's emotional and physical state. Releasers are almost exclusively instinctive. They elicit an often immediate, specific behavioral response from whoever I am effecting. Modulators are more subtle, they are the type that actually allows me to influence the emotional state of people around me."

Bobby nodded along with Daken’s words taking it in, feeling a little like he was in a biology class back in college, or maybe one of Hank’s strange science field trips. “Wait, you explained three, what about the fourth … primers? I think that’s what you called them.”

Daken had dreaded that question. His hands gripped the wheel tighter as he said in a carefully neutral tone, "In mammals Primers are influential in coordinating reproductive physiology. Urine plays a huge role in this for many mammals but I don't need that to cause the same effect. Essentially it's the sex based pheromones. Including the induction of ovulation in females or the increase of testosterone in males."

There was part of Bobby that wanted to ask if Daken could make a woman ovulate, because that sounded like a crazy ability, but the tension in his boyfriend stopped him short. Bobby took a deep breath and asked instead, “So you can influence almost anything and everything about how a body works. That’s intense. But it’s all feelings, not thoughts right?”

“I’m not a Telepath, no.” Daken shook his head and then sighed, “I can make someone relax or be pissed off but their brain might decide to sound alarm bells and just override the pheromones.”

“So … you can’t get people to do things that are … like you can’t get someone to do something totally out of character.” _Alarm bells? Is that what happened? Was that why my body reacted to the pheromones?_

“Not without other means of manipulation and, or, intoxication.”

That made Bobby look over at Daken. His heart hurt as he thought back on the shadow of that monster, Romulus, in Daken’s mind. He ached to reach out but kept his hands to himself for the moment. “It isn’t all bad though right? When you’re with your family, like Gabby, let’s say, you can smell how much she loves you right?”

“Yes.” Daken glanced over briefly and then said, bitterly, “It took me a while to understand that was what I was picking up though. I had convinced myself as a child that Romulus’ self love and satisfaction over owning me equaled love for me. Obviously they didn’t.”

“That has to be reassuring though right? You can tell how the people around you feel about you, even me. I’m immune to the effects of your ability but you can still track my mood and feelings the same as anyone else.”

“Trusting myself is still a work in progress, Bobby.”

It wasn’t as though Bobby didn’t know that. Or that such an answer was unexpected. It still hurt. Bobby bit his lip and tried to sort out his own feelings. It wasn’t Bobby Daken didn’t trust, it was himself, his own thoughts and feelings. That was still a hard thing to hear, his heart hurt for Daken, “You trust _me_ though.”

“More than I trust anyone else.” It was all there was to say on the topic.

There was a warmth in Bobby’s chest at hearing those words, but it was strongly tempered by what had been said before. Still he tried to find some way to keep talking, and potentially some good outcome from his stupid question, “I think I could stop being immune to your pheromone ability.”

“Why would you want that?” Daken arched a brow as he glanced over just for a second before focusing back on traffic.

“If you can influence people can’t you … I don’t know how to say it, can you broadcast what you feel?” Bobby arched his brows and cocked his head, looking over at Daken, “I wouldn’t be able to smell it the way you do, but I’d feel it right?”

“Mmh.” Daken frowned and then nodded slowly, “In a way, yes. But would you really want to feel what I feel? Half of the time I am depressed and frustrated with myself.”

“There are times when it might be good for me to know.” The urge to reach over and put his hand on Daken’s arm, or to touch his thigh rose up again but Bobby kept his hands to himself. “The first time we met I felt my lungs ice over, and didn’t really question it. I won’t quit doing it unless you say it’s alright. Promise.”

“Instinct will still override whatever conscious decision you make. So …” He shrugged, “I warned you. What you do with that is your choice.”

“You don’t always … most of the time you aren’t putting out signals or whatever, trying to get people to feel what you feel right? You said there’s no off switch so you’re always putting something out?” 

“A general sense of _‘like me, I am harmless’._ ” Daken sighed, “I can’t turn it off so I had to learn to control it and to settle on something as a baseline. Not making people run screaming seemed like a good idea.”

“So there’s no reason for me to just _stop_ blocking the pheromones, neither of us get anything by me being influenced by ‘I’m harmless’ signals ...” Bobby caught himself and asked something else, “Do you like it, I mean the fact that I’m immune, is that something you like?”

“I - … I don’t know. Look, I’m trying to drive and you keep asking questions which I either don’t really want to answer or for which I don’t have answers.”

Bobby reached up and scratched the back of his neck and sighed, “I’m sorry. This is all … I’m glad I know it but yeah … I should’ve tried to talk about something else.”

“Still not mad.” Daken glanced over and then turned back to the road, “I think at the next stop I’ll let you take over again.”

“It’ll be your turn to ask invasive and difficult questions.” There was no stopping himself this time. Bobby reached over and put his hand on Daken’s thigh, feeling that they both needed that comfort right then. 

Daken reached down, taking Bobby’s hand in his own instead of bothering with any further words.

It was a gentle moment. The tension was still there. Bobby wasn’t stupid enough to think that it was gone, but he was also not so thick as to miss the importance of this. He squeezed back against the grip on his hand and then focused his mind on finding something harmless to talk about, “Why don’t I tell you about the game I’ve been playing, Breath of the Wild …”

~~~~~~

The CatBird Seat was a very ‘artsy’ place. Bobby was a bit surprised that they had gotten in, or that they had managed to make it to the head of the line right at five. They’d already been in Nashville for an hour, walking about, looking at buildings, meandering towards this destination. Daken had continued to be a bit strained which didn’t surprise Bobby, not after ten hours of driving. Somehow they had come to the silent consensus that they were just driving all day and eating the snacks they had in the car and only stopping for those things that could not be avoided. One of those things had been Daken finally letting Bobby drive for a few hours. The only thing more weird than their day was the menu for this place. It looked like someone had scribbled their thoughts for a story down on a piece of paper. Bobby had let Daken order, and had been surprised and confused by the large plates with small bits of food. It was as they were eating their dessert that Bobby said, “I didn’t expect to get full. And yet, somehow I am.”

“Small bites can be as effective as huge meals and serve for far more variety. It’s an experience.” Daken sipped on his cocktail and wondered what they were going to do next. They _did_ have a place to stay at here in Nashville but somehow his urge to keep driving still hadn’t subsided. “Did you like it?”

“Yeah. You have incredible taste.” Bobby felt the words were flat. The meal _had_ been good, but it seemed unimportant. “Better than White Castle.”

“Certainly better than our fast food breakfast.” Daken chuckled and his hand found Bobby’s across the table. There was this odd and uncomfortable tension in the air but it was not really between them so much as that it was all around them. Daken wasn’t sure that was the way to explain it but he didn’t have a better way either. “Would you mind if we kept driving? I’m feeling a little …” He licked his lips nervously and made a face, “Anxious, I suppose. Like staying would be a mistake.”

_Are you afraid to be in a bed with me?_ Bobby took a drink from his virgin margarita and thought. By the time he set his glass down Bobby had come to a decision, “Are you going to let me drive more than three hours?”

Daken sighed but then nodded, “Yeah, not happily but yeah.”

“Not happily? Do you like driving or hate mine?”

“I hate the lack of control of letting someone else drive. So neither of your options.”

“Fair. I won't give you a hard time about it.” Bobby looked down, the weird creamy confection was gone, and Daken had paid the check. “Okay, let's head back to the car, stock up on waters and what not, and then get out of this place.”

They did as Bobby suggested but before his adorable boyfriend could get into the car, Daken pushed him against it and kissed him, deep and slow and entirely not suited for public. It seemed like something that needed to happen and so he made it happen.

It didn’t make a lot of sense but Bobby wasn’t about to complain. He pushed against Daken, let his hands settle low on his hips and moaned loudly. There was no fear here, there was no worry, or doubt. There was only need and desire. 

Someone whistled and Daken took that as a cue to keep kissing, only briefly pausing for a single breath.

There was only so much self control in the world, and Bobby had used it all up not singing in the car today. He reached for Daken’s ass and gave it a firm squeeze as he pushed back against him, not quite hip rolling, but certainly rubbing against Daken more than was strictly necessary. 

Daken let it go on for another moment but then pulled back with an innocent smile, holding the door open for Bobby.

“You.” Bobby licked his lips and groaned. “You are evil.”

“That I am.” Daken closed the door after Bobby and then rounded the car to get into the driver's seat. “It’s good to remind you occasionally. Wouldn’t want there to be any confusion.”

~~~~~~

He sat behind the wheel, staring out at the pavement, mind focused but not so busy that he could not think of things besides the relative velocity of the other vehicles on the road. _It’s not even_ that _late_ , Bobby thought to himself with vague confusion. That state, vaguely confused, about summed things up ever since Daken had told him to put on pants. Somehow Bobby was driving. He’d been driving for a half hour now and it was after ten. They’d been on the road for - he looked at the dash for a moment - roughly four hours. It was late enough that traffic was good. Which was pleasant, but it didn’t put him at ease.

Bobby had music, he had the open road, and an empty passenger seat. For himself Bobby found the passenger seat a fine place to nap and relax. Daken apparently couldn’t handle it. The ‘lack of control’ had forced him to retreat back to the spacious bench seat, to read or something, and leave Bobby to the task of night driving alone. It had frustrated him at first, and made him wonder what that kiss had actually been about, and why they were really driving through the night. Most of that frustration had been washed away after a little time and a glance back at Daken looking rather relaxed while reading. The sight eased Bobby in a way he didn’t quite have words for.

The only downside to this arrangement so far as Bobby could see was the need to keep his voice down when one of his favorite songs came on. Conversation would have kept him up but Bobby had a few energy drinks and they would serve. After a few songs they passed a billboard commanding drivers to ‘Come to Jesus’ which made him chuckle. Bobby glanced into the rearview mirror, ready to ask Daken if he’d seen it, and then kept his mouth shut. Daken was asleep, wrapped in that soft red blanket. The sight was too adorable. Normally he would have insisted that whoever road in the back, sleeping or not, put their seatbelt on, but this was Daken, and there was no fear of him getting hurt, not that way. Bobby felt himself swerve a little and cursed himself. _Guy’s not going to trust you to drive if you can’t stop staring at him and run into something. Concentrate Drake!_

* * *

**Wednesday**

Daken woke up feeling more than a little disoriented but it only took a few moments before his brain kicked back on and he realized what had happened. He had fallen asleep while Bobby was driving. That little fact gave him pause and made him feel a series of odd things. Sometimes Daken scared the crap out himself with how much he had come to trust Bobby and this was one of these times. There was something unsettling about knowing that he was ready to place his life in someone else’s hands.

Sitting up he shifted and yawned and then asked sleepily, “Hey … you wanna switch? Think you’ve been driving enough. If I needed a nap, you probably could use one too.”

“It’s only been, oh, four and a half hours really.” Bobby shifted and glanced back in the rear view mirror. Daken looked sweet and vulnerable, just waking up. It made his heart hurt in the sweetest way. Bobby licked his lips and added,“It’s a little after two in the morning. If your hungry it’s fast food or road snacks.”

“Snacks.” Daken yawned sleepily and then started to rummage around in the bag of treats. After a moment he pulled out a can of melon soda and a pack of chocolate coated nuts.

There was silence as Daken began to have his - _Is that breakfast, what is it?_ \- and Bobby kept driving. After the sound of munching, the car, and whatever song was playing started to feel stale and tight Bobby said, “Not sure how I haven’t mentioned it before, but I wasn’t expecting you to get an SUV.”

Daken made a thoughtful sound and sipped from his drink before he answered, “You’re right, I prefer fast cars and bikes but this isn’t about getting from A to B as fast as possible. We are out on the road to - well, be on the road. Comfort is priority and you can’t get comfortable in a sports car.”

“Comfort is sort of this rig’s middle name.” Bobby glanced back and then put his eyes on the road again. “Thing is nicer than a lot of homes I’ve been in.”

“Yeah, same.” Daken opened another can and said, “Luxury is sort of my thing because there wasn’t much comfort for me while I grew up. I mean, my adoptive parents were very well off for that time period but that came alongside massive amounts of racism towards me so … comfort was non existent for me.”

Daken had only spoken about his past briefly. Since Bobby had been in his head he could imagine little Akihiro, could see the boy Daken had been plainly in his own mind, and it hurt to think of what it must have been like for him. Bobby was no stranger to discrimination. It had started at home, he’d never been ‘manly’ enough for his father. Bobby tried to imagine what it would have been like for Akihiro, young, too smart for his own good, painfully aware of how different he was, and frustrated at being held accountable for choices that were not his own. No child asked to be born, or ever asked to be different. Those were things that parents choose if they were chosen at all. “Was it always roughing it after that?”

“Mh, not always no.” Daken shook his head, “Sometimes life was pretty nice. I went to art school in Italy which was in a general sense a good experience. But I was still a half Asian looking teenager in a land I barely understood, surrounded by people who were naturally suspicious. It was back then when I decided to settle for a default ' _don’t be scared, I'm harmless’_ setting for how I use my pheromones.”

The painting came back to Bobby’s mind, the blood and the shower cabin. He licked his lips and nodded. _What are you putting out now?_ The thought came unbidden. Bobby pushed it aside and tried to focus on the here and now, what Daken was saying, and not the things he had seen, “I still haven’t sat for you. Maybe that’s something to do in Yellowstone, did you bring any art supplies?”

“I did. Cooper was right, sketching does take my mind off things.” Daken nodded and then smiled a little, “I'd love to sketch you surrounded by, what I hear, amazing nature.”

“Yeah Yellowstone is amazing. I went with my folks when I was eleven. It was the best trip. Only one we ever took. There are incredible geysers, and there are cliffs, and trees, and deer. It’s really awesome.”

“That sounds lovely. Think we have the old white dudes on a mountain thing to go before than though.”

“Yep. We have to make it to Rushmore. Patriotic tourist trap. It’s on our way, like right on our way, or I’d say to skip it.” Bobby shrugged and felt his stomach rumble a little. “We’ve got tenish more hours. I know how you feel about little motels so we should just keep going till we get to our next stop. This next exit I’ll pull off and let you drive after we use the facilities.”

“You should sleep a little, get some rest.” Daken nodded and smiled, “And hey, I think the stupid mountain is worth a look. Just so we can say we’ve been there.”

~~~~~~

It was late, which felt wrong to Bobby. Time was starting to feel odd and arbitrary. They’d driven, and driven, and driven, and they were here late. Early for their timeline, but late all the same. If they had just gone to the park around midday when they’d made it into the nearby town they wouldn’t be in this strange, surreal, situation. That hadn’t been an option though, both of them had been sleepy and grumpy. Bobby especially. 

Daken hadn’t balked at using his pheromones, and his good looks, to get them into a decent room without a reservation, the clerk had been especially confused by the fact that they didn’t want to stay overnight. Bobby had insisted that he was fine, that he could keep going. He reminded Daken how they’d each napped in the car, and spoken in favor of just going out to look at the dumb mountain. It had seemed as though they might fight over it for a moment, but determined as Bobby was he couldn’t resist curling up with Daken. So he had relented and slept through the afternoon and well past dinner time. 

When Bobby awoke to an empty bed his heart stopped. It felt too much like waking up to a note in Japanese and an empty room. After a tense moment the sound of soft charcoal scratching against paper reached his ears and the tension leached out of him right away. Daken was there not gone, he was sketching, and seemingly less anxious than he had been hours before. They had decided together that after a shower and a bite to eat they would head out, see Rushmore, and continue on their way. 

There was only one problem with their plan; the park was closed. They’d had to leave their car by the side of the road and then hike in. It was a stupid idea, which made Bobby wonder how it hadn’t been his in the first place. This was the sort of thing he would do when left to his own devices. Apparently he was beginning to rub off on Daken, or maybe Daken had always been into stupid ideas - rule breaking certainly seemed to come naturally to him. Though if that was true, Daken did a better job of hiding it than Bobby did.

As they came to the empty clearing, lit by tall lamps, Bobby felt exposed. During the day there would be people walking about, pointing, staring, jabbering and basically getting in the way. Now there was just the sound of crickets, the stars, and the four giant heads looking down at them. Bobby licked his lips and reached for Daken’s hand. “So, this is our stupid mountain.”

“That’s …” Daken licked his lips, tried to think of a civil way to say it and then reminded himself that he didn’t have to. So instead he said, “Goddamn disappointing. Four white old dudes. Why am I not surprised that this is the thing you silly Americans idolize ...” Rolling his eyes he leaned against the lamppost and fished for a pack of smokes in his pockets only to be reminded once more that there weren’t any. It drew a sigh. Physical addiction wasn’t a problem but he could still form habits.

“Hey! I’m not the one who wanted to come here. Also I only like some of the things those guys did. All four of them have got some pretty -” Bobby frowned as he turned to look at Daken. “Did you forget your phone in the car? Why are you patting yourself down?”

Daken made a grumpy sound before answering, “I was looking for a pack of cigarettes. I miss my smokes.”

“... Yeah, I haven't seen you smoke since … well since this,” Bobby motioned between them, “- us. What gives?”

“Who likes kissing an ashtray? Nevermind killing you slowly with second hand smoke.” Daken shrugged, looking oddly self conscious over this. A part of him worried that he was doing things Bobby hadn’t even asked him to do and falling back into the all encompassing need to please in the process. But that was the annoying little voice of self doubt and Daken ignored it mostly.

“I heal myself, so far as I know cancer isn't a concern for me.” Bobby shrugged. There was a warm feeling in his chest, and it was spreading. “Sure the taste isn't great but if you wanna smoke once in a while I won't complain.”

There was a pause and then Daken said, plainly and rather casually, “I have an oral fixation. Smoking gives my mouth something to do which is fun but I never liked the taste of it.”

Bobby stared at Daken and felt himself get warm all over. It was the delivery that did it for him, Daken's totally nonchalant, seemingly unaware, casual delivery. He tried to speak but all that came out was a squeaky cough. 

It was that adorable sound coupled with the red cheeks and the stunned look in Bobby’s eyes that did him in. Daken pushed away from the lamppost and approached, arms going around Bobby’s neck as he leaned in close, “Maybe I need you to give me something more fun to put into my mouth ...”

The surprise was still there in every line and curve of Bobby’s expression, but that didn’t stop him from reacting. His brain had never needed warning to come up with stupid things to say, “I have multiple options for your consideration.”

“I’m listening …” Kissing his way down Bobby’s neck he almost managed not to chuckle. Almost. This was the most ridiculous thing he had ever contemplated doing - giving head in front of a national monument just to drive home a point and because he had been thinking about going down on Bobby all day.

“Tongue …” _He can’t be thinking of **that** here and now._ “Fingers …” _Especially not after … well …_ “Toes …”

“No on the last one.” Daken chuckled again, a soft and relaxed sound that was cut short as he went stiff. Footsteps. They were coming in their direction. Instinctively he put a hand over Bobby’s mouth and dragged him out of the light into the nearby bushes. Four feet. Two people.

Bobby went along with Daken not out of shock, but trust. He knew Daken had better hearing than he, a more acute sense of smell. So when Daken’s eyes went wide, and he went into action Bobby just followed his lead. _Guards … I bet they get tired of kids spraying the monuments …_

“ … like I said, I told her last week, I work all night, least she can do is clean up.” The guards conversation drifted toward them. 

Daken stayed pressed close to Bobby as they both barely dared to breath while the guards passed them and then slowly walked out of hearing range. He could feel and hear Bobby’s heart beating hard and fast, excitement mixed with fear and almost with a sort of giddiness. After a moment of waiting past their hearing range, Daken pulled his hand back and whispered, “Fuck, that was close.”

“You know -” Bobby was grinning ear to ear as he spoke in a hushed voice, “- this makes me wanna pull an insane stunt, like freeze over the mountain and add giant ice sculptures of mutant badasses, like Scott, Ro, Northstar, and like … I don’t know, Magneto or something.”

“I’d vote Magneto. Doctor Cooper says I came damn close to trying to make Magneto another replacement for Romulus but ... I like the guy. He’s a mess but so am I.” Daken grinned. The second hand giddiness was getting to him. “I think we’d be putting Mutans in danger if we did that though.”

Even though Bobby looked and felt crestfallen he nodded, “Yeah, it’s a stupid idea. Way stupider than you giving me a blowie, but I just … wow do I want to do it.”

“The mountain or the blowjob?” Daken arched a brow as he asked that, eyes full of mischief.

“Both, at the same time.” Bobby grinned. “Though Magneto is out. I’m jealous of him now.”

“Jealous that I was going to make him another abuser? That is odd, you goofball.” Chuckling he shook his head and then took Bobby’s hand, “They are about to circle back here, we gotta get moving.”

“No I meant … I …” Bobby licked his lips and then gave up. Rather than try to struggle for something to say he squeezed Daken’s hand and started to lead the way out of the park. 

“ … did you hear something Cid?”

Bobby’s heart beat faster as he and Daken exchanged a look.

“Maybe, you go around right Barrett, I’ll swing the other way.”

_Oh shit we cannot get caught!_ Stealth was not one of Bobby’s greatest skills. Giant ice slides, sculptures, baking, and knocking holes in walls, those were at the top of his resume. So he tried to breathe evenly and follow Daken’s lead. 

_CRACK!_

The sound of a branch snapping under his keds made Bobby jump. The look Daken gave him was hard to read in the poor light, but Bobby was sure it was exasperated. In a panic Bobby froze over the ground behind them, making a thin slippery layer of ice as they started running.

“Cid?! Cid get up.”

_One down!_ Bobby couldn’t help chuckling, though it came out a bit weird around his heavy breathing.

“God damned ice! It’s not even fall!”

Bobby couldn’t hear more, they had made it far enough away from the guards that his hearing wasn’t useful in picking them out, especially not over his breathing and his racing heart. It wasn’t till he sat down in the passenger seat of their SUV that he realized what a stupid thing they had just done, and then, he couldn’t stop himself from laughing. 

~~~~~~

For twenty minutes, no one talked. Daken drove them down the road, away from the attraction and in the general direction of their next goal. He could feel the adrenaline rushing through both of them though and once he was sure they were far enough away, he pulled over and parked on the side of the highway. The sky above them was still pitch black except for all the tiny dots of lights. He could hear the sounds of wildlife outside but mostly there was silence. The middle of nowhere was a pleasant place to be.

“So … I'm never going to take you on a stealth mission.” Looking at Bobby he arched a brow as he stopped the engine, but left the keys in.

“Hey, I did just fine, and I tripped that guy.” Bobby wasn’t sure what they were doing, or even where they were. It didn’t really matter, they had made their get away. There would be no awkward or problematic event here. No one would have to come rescue them. “I was instrumental in our getaway!”

“Oh yeah? So you’re saying you saved me? Are you my big, powerful, manly hero?”

Hearing Daken say it like that both flustered and pleased him. Bobby bit the corner of his bottom lip for a moment as he gathered his wits about him. The only lights in the cab were from the dash, there was nothing outside but stars, there were no street lights lining the highway here. So they were wrapped in velvet black with odd shadows playing over both their faces. Looking at Daken gave him a weird sort of lump in his throat, “Yeah, I wouldn’t have said it, but there’s no point in denying it.”

They exchanged a look between them and Daken felt the tension back but this time it wasn’t trying to choke him. This time it was reminding him that he had almost given into wanting to blow Bobby _in the bushes_ while they were doing something illegal. Whatever the hell had him on edge for more than twenty four hours was gone. Instead he was left excited and quite pleased.

Seatbelts were removed, the safety pushed - and then he was in Bobby’s lap and they were kissing again. It didn’t matter that this was the least comfortable thing he could imagine. It didn’t matter that they were still too close to the mountain to be making out. Nothing mattered but the heat of Bobby’s body and his soft lips. “It doesn't matter, does it? I said yes and we had sex, but you don't expect it to stay yes, right? You’re fine if it changes.”

If Daken had given him time Bobby would have done more than nod. As it was he moaned loudly and grabbed that tight ass as their lips met again, and again. 

The nod was enough. “Good.” Daken breathed out heavily and then kissed Bobby again before saying more, “Good because I’m so definitely _yes_ right now and you need to take off your shirt!”

Bobby’s shirt came off and then his hands went directly back to Daken’s ass. “Yes, also a yes!” Bobby put a nippy kiss on the side of Daken’s throat and closed his eyes, “So much yes.”

“Think,” He gasped, “You might have a … thing for my ass, hu?” Daken grinned and wiggled back into those warm hands.

“Fills - fills my hands, feels good.” Bobby grinned right back at Daken and added, “Think you like my chest, always taking my shirt off.”

“Never been an ass person and you haven’t given me permission to play with the goods hiding in your underwear so … chest it is.” Grinning he scooted back and - promptly whined because he hit his head on the ceiling of the car. “Damnit, moving. We need to get into the back.”

Once they had shuffled out fo the car and back in Bobby was breathless. There was so much giggling and kissing he could hardly keep his head. “You can touch me anywhere.” Bobby breathed the words against Daken’s ear as he laid the head of the back seat down to make a bed of sorts. “You don’t have to, but you can.”

“We are making out in a car … Bobby, we’re officially teenagers. Horny teenagers.” There was a chuckle and then more kisses and hands roaming over smooth, warm skin. They had kept driving because he had been worried to find himself back in bed with Bobby and of course that had been a completely pointless worry.

“Gotta make up for lost time.” Bobby nuzzled in against Daken’s neck and tugged on his shirt lightly, “Off?”

“Yeah, shirts are overrated anyway.” Leaning back Daken pulled his shirt off and dropped it somewhere to the side. They’d have a good time trying to find all their clothes in the morning. With that out of the way he leaned back down for a kiss and curiously rolled his hips, testing the angle and then deciding to wiggle around until they had a better one.

“I’m sure there’s some sort of god.” Bobby said looking at Daken with awe, “Can’t be an accident, how freaking gorgeous you are.” His hips moved with Daken’s even as his hands roamed over bare skin. 

“It’s called genetics.” Daken smiled a little but it didn’t last because he was too busy gasping and shivering. The friction was perfect and Bobby kept touching him in a way that did odd, wonderful things to him. Daken wasn’t sure anymore why he had been so certain this could never happen. Fear was a strange thing.

“Yes!” Their bodies moved together, their mouths ran hungrily from lip to shoulder, down to nipple, and then back again. It was feverish, and needy. “So good, oh … Kitten, oh god, oh god!”

Leaning down he kissed over Bobby’s neck and then whispered, hot breath against cool skin, “You gonna make a mess for me, babe? Middle of nowhere, in a car, no toilet around … but you will, yes?”

“Do the same for me?” Bobby answered right back, blushing, eager, but not at all embarrassed. “Or do you want me to swallow this time?”

That in turn put color on his own cheeks and Daken bit his lips before deciding that he had absolutely no reason not to just try. _No_ was an option. _Stop_ was an option. “Yeah, I do.”

It wasn’t the answer Bobby would have expected, but he wasn’t about to admit he’d been joking. He wanted to blow Daken, and if Daken wanted to be blown on the side of the road then Bobby was not the person to tell him no. Shuffling about was in order, and they both seemed to understand what needed to happen. Once Daken was laid out, head towards the back of the car, feet on the floor with Bobby between his knees there was a moment of stillness. Then Bobby put Daken’s hands on his shoulders and looked up at him, “Stop touching me if you want me to kiss you.”

This was ridiculous. Daken had done some weird things over the years but being blown in the back of an SUV while parked on the side of a road – that was new. He had giving head in cars but that was about it. “Yeah, okay …” His breathing was coming heavily and he was watching Bobby with wide eyes.

With excitement Bobby opened Daken’s pants. It was almost silly how excited he was, he felt his heart racing in his chest in anticipation. Before he peeled back Daken’s underwear Bobby kissed over the ample buldge. There was a substantial wet spot, the sight of which made his own cock ache and throb. “Oh Kitten …” Bobby started to pull the fabric away, eager to do in fact what he had at played a day earlier.

The hot breath against his skin made Daken shiver and his hands flexed on Bobby’s shoulders. It was almost cute, the excitement that was written into every line of Bobby’s body. Daken liked how much Bobby _wanted_ what they were doing. “Bobby …” That wet tongue made contact with his cock and he gasped, his hands pulled back without any clear thought behind it aside from _too much_.

Bobby hesitated only a second. When Daken’s hands didn’t come back, didn’t tangle in his hair, or grip his shoulders Bobby’s head came away. He pulled up Daken’s underwear carefully while murmuring, “Coming to kiss you.” _Okay be calm, someone needs to be calm!_ It was easier than Bobby thought. He didn’t tremble, he wasn’t frustrated, and though he was concerned he had no issue finding a warm expression for his face. It was only a handful of moments later and then Bobby was holding Daken against his chest, “You still wanna kiss?”

It stopped. Bobby _stopped._ No hesitation. No complaint. No frustrated expression. No scent that told him he had ruined this. It just stopped. Like that was _normal_. It should be but it wasn’t. Stopping wasn’t the norm, it was the exception. Blinking a few times he stared at Bobby and then grabbed him by the back of his neck to kissed him, hard, instead of wasting time with words. His free hand easily found its way between their bodies, into Bobby’s pants. The angle sucked and he couldn’t quite get the grip he wanted with a layer of fabric still in the way but it would do. He was going to savor getting Bobby off.

“Oh yes!” The words were loud but mostly obscured. Daken was touching him, kissing him, and it felt incredible. He felt his chest rise and fall, felt Daken’s heart beating fast next to his own, and that clever hand coaxing him to let go. Bobby gave in and made a rough, sharp sound. There was no thought for the mess, no thought about anything but them, and how perfect this felt. Bobby relaxed into afterglow never having realized he tensed up in orgasm. _So good, everything feels so good._

It was perfect and Daken purred happily as he slowed down and then stopped stroking Bobby through his underwear. With a little smile he pulled his hand back and then lied down. “Come here, kiss me.”

“So good.” Bobby went, laid himself more or less over Daken, and kissed over his face. “So proud of you. Felt so good, so good Kitten.” His heart was still racing. He could still feel the waves of afterglow, but now all he cared about was Daken, “You did so good. Just what I wanted.”

Smiling softly he caressed Bobby's cheek and chuckled, “You are too good to me.”

“No.” Bobby kissed Daken’s lips softly, “No, you deserve this.” Another soft kiss. “You are good for me, good to me.” Another kiss, “I’m so proud of you.” Kiss. “So happy.” Kiss. “Because of you.” There were several more sweet soft kisses, “I love you.” Kiss. “All of you.” Kiss. 

_Do I? Do I deserve this?_ Daken wondered but the idea of telling Bobby he was wrong bothered him. He loved Bobby. And if Bobby loved him back that meant there was something worthy of that about him. “Love you too.”

“So happy, I’m so happy!” Bobby grinned against the side of Daken’s face and murmured against his ear, “That’s all you, this feeling, you can smell it can’t you? This is how you make me feel Kitten.”

“Yes … yes, I can smell that. It's nice.” Daken grinned and wrapped the blanket over them, “Let's stay here for a bit.”

“Might have a cop check on us, but yeah.” Bobby nodded and then snuggled in. “There’s nowhere else I wanna be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hello all, Nausi here!**
> 
> We’ve made it midway through the road trip and the boys have made it through a little uneasiness. It’s hard for me to tell which is my favorite of these chapters, and as good as this one is, I think the next chapter is my very favorite of the road trip series. We’ve been aiming to balance the emotional beats on this trip, mostly the boys are happy, but there is that dark shadow looming over them, and as strong as their love is, it’s new. They both still have a lot to learn.
> 
> I know that fics or chapters with porn can make people feel a little shy. Finn and I would still love to hear from you guys. If the explicit scene makes you feel a little blushy and embarrassed there’s no pressure to talk about that. Though, if you’d like to make comments about what the boys are getting up to we’ll gladly chat with you. Remember our Tumblrs are always linked above, if you don’t want to talk here you can always come chat with us there.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	56. Chapter 56

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 04 - What appeared to be a slow, simple day on the road turns into a bit of an unexpected adrenaline kick when they happen to run into a certain old man in a little diner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Additional Tags:**
> 
> **Part 1:** Romance, Healthy Relationship, Fluff, Mentions Of Marriage & Adoption  
>  **Part 2:** Bad Parenting, Human Bait, Assassination Attempt, Altered State Of Mind, Dissociation, Triggers, Gun Mention, Threats  
>  **Part 3:** Sexual Themes, Loss, Grief, Complex Consent, Oral Sex
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Thursday**

Compared to the amount of driving they’d done in the last twenty-four to forty-eight hours the drive from the Rushmore area to Yellowstone was nothing. They had time for fast food, a little grocery shopping, they had even rented a hotel room just to use the shower and have a little break. Luck was with them and brought them to a lovely area of the park right around noon. They hadn’t planned to spend much of their trip in the park which was a shame. The incredible, lush landscape, the almost otherworldly peacefulness was worth an entire two week trip all on it’s own. However, this was just a stepping stone along their way to Los Angeles. They were less than fifteen hours out from Las Vegas, and from there to their final destination was only five hours, the traffic gods permitting. Bobby felt it was impossible they’d already come so far, however, for the moment the only thing that mattered was being here with Daken. They’d pulled their SUV over in a designated area and then checked the signs before they started hiking, blanket, bag, and basket in hand. 

“I think this place is better than I remember it. So beautiful, and full of life.” Bobby grinned from ear to ear as he looked back over at Daken.

There was no direct answer. Daken had intended to mention the wildlife he could smell and hear around them but the words got stuck in his throat when Bobby looked over his shoulder at him. It was such a surreal moment. The sunlight hit Bobby at an angle which lit up his eyes and highlighted just how utterly, stunningly beautiful Bobby really was. Daken found himself, not for the first time, completely love struck.

“Akihiro … Kitten?” Bobby turned around so that he was facing Daken, his hands full and unable to brush the curls from his face as they fell into his eyes. “Uh … you okay?”

“No.” He breathed out heavily and shook his head, “No, I'm dating the most beautiful, clever, funny guy on this planet and I am so utterly baffled by that right now.”

Bobby licked his lips, “Come on, we’ve gotta find a place to set up, and the wind’s getting my hair in my eyes, and I feel like a fool standing here blushing like this, in the middle of the picturesque American heartlands, with my too beautiful for words boyfriend complimenting me.”

“Come here.” Daken pulled one of many hair ties from his pockets as Bobby came closer. “Turn around.” With practiced ease he put Bobby's unruly curls into a bun and then kissed the side of his neck. “I love you.”

“Words … I …” His heart fluttered in his chest and Bobby tried to speak, but nothing came out. He leaned his back against Daken’s chest, closed his eyes, and just let that moment stretch out. 

“I love you so much that I keep thinking _this should hurt_ but it doesn't. Loving you doesn't hurt. It doesn't make me desperate for your approval and attention. I just - I _like_ to love you just like that. I've never experienced anything like that.”

Bobby licked his lips and took a deep breath. “That is the most beautiful thing anyone’s ever said to me.”

“It's the most beautiful feeling I've ever experienced and I'm starting to get that I have never been in love before.”

“I’ve had crushes, I’ve been confused, I’ve been adored, I’ve admired, but I’ve never …” Bobby nodded as he took a breath, “Never felt like this, never.”

“Never thought I'd find myself wondering if soulmates exist.” Daken chuckled as he kept kissing on Bobby.

“If we aren’t then they don’t.” Bobby turned around, looked right into Daken’s eyes, their chests touching, and found that there really weren’t words. _And_ that his hands were still very full of picnic supplies. 

“Good point.” Smiling he took one of the baskets from Bobby and then pointed, “There. See the ledge? I want to have lunch up there. The view will be amazing - maybe even enough to make me stop staring at you.”

Everywhere they’d been touching felt cold. It wasn’t chill, it wasn’t even cold in any way he could express save that it was the aching absence of Daken. Bobby swallowed and made himself look at what Daken was pointing to. It was a small, but big enough for two, sort of cliff. There was a large rock formation that divided it from the rest of the peak. “I can get us up there, no problem. No promises on anything being better than me though.” 

Daken laughed as Bobby lifted them onto the edge with his ice. It was such a nice little thing to use a power for. Daken sometimes envied the people with mutations that could use them in ways that weren't questionable and violent. 

“Hm it's a nice view but yeah, still not better than the endless depth of your eyes.”

“Wow, please, I’m not going to be able to eat if you keep this up. Remember, I told you before, you don’t have to seduce me Kitten.” Bobby laid out the blanket they’d brought and tried to stop blushing. He was able to set things up for their picnic, but he wasn't able to stop his blood from rushing to his face and making him bright, bright red.

“Just because I don't _have_ to, doesn't mean I don't _want_ to.” Smirking he settled down next to Bobby, opened the box of sandwiches, and started to eat slowly while his senses kept a focus on the wildlife around them. Having a bunch of predatory species around did keep him on edge a little.

_You cannot just make out with him. It’s lunch time, you need to eat. Do not lean over and kiss him._ Bobby found he could hardly keep his hands on the food, “You’d like to see me turn into a puddle, wouldn’t you?”

“Happy boyfriend puddles are the best.” Daken nodded seriously and managed not to laugh this time.

“I can take on a mist form, I could become a literal puddle Kitten.” Bobby took a bite of his bagel sandwich. It was good, the bagel’s they’d picked up were about as good as you were going to get out here, and with cream cheese and lox, it was more than good. 

“Sounds dangerous and useful.” Making a thoughtful sound he looked down over the edge and at the wilderness below and asked, a bit out of nowhere, “You came here before, right?”

“Yeah, it was the only family trip we ever took.” With a little shrug Bobby kept eating. It wasn’t a bad memory, it was just that everything that had to do with his parents was complicated. “I was ten or near to. It was a fun trip, we didn’t really fight much, but I don’t remember a lot about it.”

“I used to wonder what it would be like - having family. Having parents who actually loved me. These days I feel kinda glad I almost missed out completely on that level of abuse.”

Bobby was silent for a moment. “Sometimes I wish I could've skipped it. Most of the time, but … well I _don't_ just forgive Dad. Mom though, she's always tried.”

“In my experience, the ones that tried leave the deepest scars.” Daken set into peeling an orange as he continued, “That’s what makes parenting so damn terrifying. You can try really hard to do right by your kids and mess them up worse than by clean cut, obvious abuse.”

“But if you don't try at all you're no better than a wire mother.” When Daken handed him half the orange Bobby smiled and took it. “Parenting is scary, and no one makes it out of childhood without scars. I'd like to think I'd do better than mine though.”

“I’d like to think that as well. After all, at the very least you won’t force gender roles and heterosexuality on any vulnerable child. So you will automatically do much better.”

“You think about me being a parent?” Bobby had stopped himself from taking a bite in favor of speaking. 

“Is that weird?” Daken frowned and cocked his head, “You are amazing with kids. I’ve watched you teach when you take them outside and no one, _no one_ that age likes math enough to be that engaged unless the teacher is good.”

“They're good kids and … they don't stick me with huge classes most the time … not since Mday.” Bobby sighed and shrugged. “I love kids. And babies. Mom always figured that meant I'd bring her grandkids.”

“Adoption exists.” Rolling his eyes he picked up a second orange, “It’s not like she would even want you to spread your genes, right? The male carries the Mutant Genome.”

“I’ve told them that, both of them, and they really don’t care. If they accepted that then Dad would have to accept that _he’s_ the reason I’ve got blasty ice powers.” With another sigh he looked down at his hands. “I’ve thought about adoption. There are a lot of mutant kids out there who need homes. I’ve just never … well I was never with someone, before now, who I wanted to be with forever.”

There was a short pause and then Daken concluded, “Too bad I am the worst possible choice for co-parenting hu?”

Bobby reached over and put his hand on Daken’s knee, “Kitten, hey, look at me.” When Daken didn’t look over Bobby reached up and cupped his face in one hand and gently guided him. “Hey, you, don’t do that. You wanna be realistic? Sure, you can point out you’ve got no role models for parenting, or that you have little experience with kids, or that you’re still working through your trauma, but don’t say things like that. I know that sort of humor, that’s the blood in my veins, and I know how much it hurts.”

“I -” There were about a million things he wanted to say and not one of them was any less filled with self hatred and bitterness. Instead of following that path down into depression, he took a deep breath and admitted softly, “I know I’m going to _suck_ at parenting but I am still going to try. I asked Zach if he’d want me to take legal guardianship over him.”

Bobby sat there and blinked a few times, totally confused and unprepared. Then his mind went back to the night he’d first met Zach. The entire town was full of bigoted mutant haters. Zach’s own mother had been happy to let him go. Once Zach got to the school he’d been miserable, that was, till he met Daken. Bobby licked his lips and felt himself starting to smile, “You’re full of surprises. The kid hates me but I’ll do what I can to help, I owe him at least that much.”

“You really haven’t learned from being with me? Hate is a shield people like me wear. And he’s a lot like me, thankfully not quite as messed up but still …”

“Yeah? I’ve noticed he’s been softening up. It’s just … Zach actually has a few good reasons not to like me. I keep doing what I can to make up for things, but really, I don’t blame him.”

“You nearly cut me in half, froze me for flirting and then kissed me without my consent.” Daken said it flatly and then arched brow, “Now look at us.”

“You stole a student, drove me insane with the Death Seed, set up an attack on the school, assaulted Judah, and stabbed him in the chest.” Though Bobby tried not to be hyper defensive all the time it was hard not to rattle off his side of the list. “Yeah, it’s sort of a miracle. Not such a big jump to think Zach might warm up to me. I’ve got a lot to thank him for too.”

“I like to steal things that don’t belong to me.” Sticking his tongue out he bit back a chuckle in favor of finishing his third orange. “Like adorable students and hot teachers.”

Bobby chuckled and shook his head. It was almost too good, how sweet the moment was. “We’ll do okay, you and I and Zach, together. My mom won’t know what to make of him.”

“One of your parents has to like me.” Daken nodded and then met these icy blue eyes, expression completely serious, “Zach wants to know what his last name will be and he doesn’t want to have to change it when we get married.”

That stunned him. Bobby just stared at Daken. The first thing that came to mind was the half remembered dream he’d had the morning he’d woken up to find Daken gone. Zach was still on his mind, but Bobby had to work towards that, he had to address the biggest surprise first, “You’d consider marriage?” 

“Why wouldn’t I?”

Again Bobby just stared and wondered. “I … I don’t know. Somehow I figured it would be more complicated than this.” After a quick breath Bobby asked, “What name do you think we should take?”

“I don’t have one, so that’s kinda an obvious answer.”

“You’ve got a lot to pick from though.” Bobby shrugged, “Drake is the coolest sounding one though, so if you want mine I won’t blame you.”

“Now you are sounding cocky.” Nudging Bobby he rolled his eyes and then said, almost casually if it wasn’t for the fact that he was blushing, “I insist on a ceremony in winter.”

“The winter?” It was surprise after surprise. Bobby wasn’t sure he quite knew what to do with Daken. He was not sure he was awake even. “Why winter?”

“Summer is overrated and it’s the only appropriate setting for marrying you.” Daken had not contemplated marriage even in passing before talking to Zachary. Now he couldn’t stop thinking about it. It was like a never ending loop of recurring thoughts all focused on whether or not it would be appropriate to get married at this point and Daken was pretty sure it wasn’t. He was also pretty sure he didn’t care.

“So you’ve put some thought into this, and I wasn’t going to say anything but …” Bobby licked his lips and tried to look cool, but knew he was failing, “... I’ve been thinking about it too. I want to be with you forever.”

“I think this is not socially acceptable. Or at least very frowned upon.” Daken cocked his head, “But guess what?”

“You don’t care.” Bobby grinned, “Hey, look, it takes time to plan something, and I haven’t got you a ring yet, well I dreamed about it, but what I’m trying to say is just look at this as an open and honest real adult conversation.”

“You just combined a lot of scary words into one scary sentence.” Daken could not stop himself from chuckling this time, “God, I am over seventy and apparently _finally_ growing up. Wow. Go me?”

The sound of Daken’s laugh was infectious. He couldn’t help joining in, even as he tried to speak, “It’s never too late, especially if you’ve got a healing factor.” 

“Guess all that therapy is paying off. It better. I never had to spend money on health before this.”

“It’s money well spent.” Bobby leaned over and put his near arm around Daken. “You’re worth every cent.”

* * *

Though they each adored Yellowstone, and Bobby would have happily posed and watched Daken draw for hours, there wasn’t time to waste there. They kept driving after their picnic. The tension of the last day and a half or so was totally gone now. Whatever it had been they’d weathered it together. Bobby was pleased, and feeling more than a little giddy. They were about an hour outside of the borders of Yellowstone when they hit a little place called Sugar City. The drive through the park had taken hours and it was now dinner time. Daken had agreed to a stop in at Ole’s Diner, what looked to Bobby like something straight out of Twin Peaks. It thrilled him to be making time, and to be so close to their next big stop. Las Vegas was less than ten hours from their current position, and from there it was only five or so hours to LA. They were within just a few days of their goal and Bobby was feeling almost euphoric. _He loves me_. The thought danced through his mind as the waitress brought their drinks. _He said he’d think about marrying me._ Bobby sipped his Royal Crown soda and gazed at Daken with adoring eyes. _He’s in loves me._

“If you continue to make eyes at me like that, I think that older couple over there will have a heart attack.” Daken looked at Bobby across the table with a little smile.

“What?” Bobby sat up straighter and tried not to be so obvious. That was difficult. Daken was gorgeous, even after days of living out of a bag and not enough sleep. “I’m just looking at you.”

“You are undressing me with your eyes and it makes these poor older people question their life choices.” There was no scent of disgust coming over from the couple but they both smelled of regret. It was sad.

“Undressing you infers I am thinking about you naked.” Bobby shook his head and looked almost a little offended. “I was thinking about all the things we’re going to do, and how beautiful our picnic was, and how pretty your hair is, and how you could be a Disney Princess.”

“Sorry but what? I am clearly a Disney villain!” Daken huffed and played up the indignation over Bobby’s statement, “And you are the beautiful, cute, innocent and naive princess that I kidnapped.”

“What? No way. I’m clearly the valiant prince! How could you mistake me for a princess?” Bobby glared back with mock outrage. “Don’t try to deny my princeliness!”

“You would look good in a pink dress …” He trailed off, turned his head and sniffed the air. _Logan? What’s he doing here … am I going crazy?_

“What? Pink? Wow. Okay, let’s assume for a moment that I _am_ a Disney Princess. Sure. I would not wear pink. I’d be like Belle. I’d be rocking blue and white, or gold. Maybe I’d go full Elsa but for real, that’s too on the nose. Way too on the nose, her song is such a coming out mantra …” Bobby quit talking as he finally caught onto the way Daken’s nose was moving, “You smell something?”

The answer to that question walked in the door of the diner. Without glancing around the weathered looking old man came directly towards them and took a seat in their booth right next to Daken. “The two o’ you should know how to keep a low profile. Shouldn’t be this easy to find you.”

“Hi old Dad.” Daken rolled his eyes, waved a waitress over and ordered steak and fries for the grumpier version of Wolverine. “You look absolutely horrible.”

“Also who said we were hiding, and yeah …” Bobby looked over the scared face with interest and concern. The last time he’d seen the old man his eyes had matched. Now one was sort of bleached out and seemed to be unfocused. “... you look worse than normal.”

“The both o’ you are targets, actin’ like it ain’t true is just askin’ for trouble. You’re gonna get an innocent person hurt runnin’ around like this. What the hell are you doin’ traspin’ across the country anyway?”

“Therapy. Coping. Running. Call it whatever you want.” Daken shrugged, took the plate from the waitress with a charming smile and ‘thank you’ and then pushed it towards Logan. “Just because I _look_ relaxed doesn’t mean I am not paying attention. I knew you were coming.”

“Thanks to your nose.” The old man didn’t look down at his food, he seemed almost to be ignorant of its existence. “You’re damn lucky nothing happened to you in Yellowstone.”

“What? Were you creepy stalking us in the park?” Bobby blushed and felt his heartbeat speed up. “You weren’t listening in on us were you?”

“Kid, that’s the least o’ your worries.”

“Logan.” Daken's voice dropped and his eyes narrowed, “What is going on?”

“I’m trackin’ someone.” It was only then that his one good eye looked down at the steak. It seemed like he was weighing things out as he reached for the fork and knife. “Someone who should already be dead.”

Daken rolled his eyes, “I could name more people than I have fingers who should be dead and aren’t. That’s not narrowing it down much.”

“You boys should get out o’ here.”

Bobby shook his head, “You are so, so much worse than the regular flavor of Logan.”

“Hm, not sure about that. This one hasn’t tried, and succeeded at, killing me. Yet.” Daken sighed and then pulled his wallet, “Fine, you want to deal with your shit solo - so be it. I’m not a good enough person to bother with more than an offer.”

Daken could tell. It was written into every line of the old fucks body and hidden badly in his scent - Logan was using them. He wanted them out on the street as targets to lure whoever he was hunting. There were only two options; Play along or stay in this dinner forever. Daken decided he was going to risk playing along given that being a target was something he knew all too well and that Bobby was also familiar. _We’ll be fine._

Something nagged at Bobby about the look on old Logan’s face. He couldn’t put his finger on it, and Daken wanted to go, so he just stood up. _You’re not in charge right now. This is vacation. You’re not leading a team._ Bobby pushed a hand back through his hair and tried not to glare at the old jerk.

“Thanks for the meal.” The words came on their heels, gruff and spoken around a mouthful.

Daken said nothing and just took Bobby’s hand, leading them towards the door. As he opened it, he leaned in close and whispered, “He’s using us. Be ready for anything.”

_That’s what the feeling was._ Bobby leaned in for a kiss with a little nod, meaning to cover the fact that Daken had confirmed his fears. That was the moment two bursts of pain erupted through his chest. Bobby tried to breath, but that simple act was monumentally difficult. He coughed and looked down at himself, blood dripping from the corner of his lips. There were holes in his shirt, intense pain, and blood. The world was narrowing down, he felt light, and impossibly heavy at the same time. Bobby knew there was something he was supposed to do, but for a moment there was nothing but the pain.

Time seemed to stop. Daken stood there, smelling and tasting blood, seeing red spread on the white of Bobby’s t-shirt, hearing the whistle of sniper shots – and feeling nothing. It lasted seconds. It felt like decades. Logan was right there to catch Bobby as he collapsed, heart still, a sour tinge to the copper scent welling from him. Somehow his own body didn't seem to want to move. There was panic all around them, screaming, running, crying children – he ignored it all. A shot like that was not something just anyone could pull off - right past him, at an angle with absolute accuracy. He knew that signature. He knew it too well. The world went red in the same way Bobby’s shirt had and he felt that long forgotten cold rage that consumed his mind, his thoughts, his actions - everything he was and everything he would be.

The shooter’s position was given away by scent and the angle of the shot, which gave direction to that single minded, cold rage. The people on the sidewalk shouted and pointed at the dark haired man as he sprinted across the street, his motions seeming almost effortless as he leaped over car hoods and narrowly avoided being hit by others. The scent of gunpowder and lust, a stink so thick it coated the man’s lungs, was in the air, guiding him further as he began to ascend the building.

“He’s climbing the wall! Like some sort of … sort of Spiderman!” 

When there was no sufficient handhold the brick creaked and gave way before the black bone. There was a hint of new fresh copper, palms and fingers giving way in turn before the rough and jagged bits of wall. 

“Shit!” 

The curse and the sound of motion reached ears that were near deaf to the rest of the world – it was a sign that the shooter was taking down their set up. Preparing to run. 

Birds yelled out in warning as the man pulled himself up onto the roof, the sun behind him, hot on his back, making a dark shadow of his face. Yet his eyes shone clearly, unforgiving and mad. Any sane man would have been afraid. The killer was neither. 

“Lester.” The man’s voice dripped with rage as he continued to glare at the shooter's target, across the roof.

“Daken Akihiro. Or should I call you _Kitten_?” The laughter burst out into the morning air like a piercing series of discordant notes played all at once as Lester met Daken’s fierce gaze.

There was a snarl and whatever thought had been left in his mind evaporated into the berzerk haze. The dark haired man threw himself at the sniper, claws drawn and with absolute intent to rip out every organ in the disgusting body.

It was with more laughter that the shooter dodged and deflected. The clawed man was fast, he was strong, and he had decades of experience on him, but one thing he was not at the moment, was in control. That was the thing which gave him time, which saved his life. The killer hissed as the sharp black claws bit into his shoulder and pinned him against the stairwell wall. 

“Heel! Control yourself _boy_.” Lester said the words, and each of them dripped with self assured vanity. He had no doubt of what the outcome would be, and if he was wrong it would not much matter in about thirty seconds anyway. 

Daken flinched away as if he had been burned, a wild look in these silvery blue eyes as he glanced around. It took about twenty seconds before it clicked that his 'master’ wasn't there and that he was falling for another ingrained trigger. Yet Daken could not muster the will to touch his rage again, to feel anything. Nor could he compel his limbs to obey.

“Just like he said.” There was more laugher as Lester stroked Daken’s cheek. “What a pretty piece of luck this whole meeting is. Ever since your master rescued me from the boredom of prison, life has just been roses and caviar. Almost enough to make me believe what his redheaded witch says about them being gods. I’m not even here for you and your _hero_. He sent me after that broken bag of bones, which suits me just fine. Get paid to do what I was going to do for my own pleasure anyway. Never figured on finding you out here. But here you are, and here I am. I’ll have accomplished three missions by the end of the day.” Lester stopped to take a moment to bask in the perfection of it all. Then he licked the side of Daken’s face and spoke far more loudly than was necessary against his ear, “This is a warning; Come back to your master or everyone dies.”

“This is over Bullseye. Hands off my boyfriend.” The sun caught in the facets of his craggy ice hair, and refracted through his pointy ears as he glided on an ice slide towards the pair. They were locked in some sort of deadly not really a hug, gross lethal embrace thing and Bobby hated it. Everything still felt weird and off, but he knew he wasn’t going to die. The surprise on Bullseye’s face went a long way towards brightening his mood.

It was surreal. All of it. Daken blinked as he felt the sting of tears, angrily refusing to give into that with such an audience. The sight of his lover did more than that, Daken felt, and he moved, “Yeah?” Daken grabbed one wrist in a painful hold and then twisted the arm behind Lester’s back, “Tell your new master that he can shove his threats were the sun doesn’t shine. The people I love aren’t as easy to kill as he wishes they were.”

Even as he spoke Daken’s mind was playing on a loop, the same thought over and over, _Bobby’s alive. How is he alive? I smelled poison. He is alive. Bobby is alive._

“Some of them.” Lester's voice was strained, but not beaten. “You've gone soft.”

“Yeah, I have. And you know the best part?” Daken leaned in close, “I’m proud of it.” Pulling away he shoved Lester and growled, “Go. Before I spill your insides on the pavement.” It took every bit of self control he had to not do it but if Lester was now one of the many people whose strings Romulus pulled, this was actually an advantage. They just had to use it correctly.

It was clear on Lester’s face that he knew what Daken was thinking , but he valued his own life over seeing someone else’s machination come to fruition. He knew that with Daken it was often the slow game that bore fruit. “Soft isn’t going to protect them.”

Bobby stepped down onto the roof, shoulders back, fingers twitching, and iced eyes gleaming. He was ready to freeze Bullseye over, to put an end to this, but the coward was already fleeing. With the threat removing itself his attention went to Daken, for whom he started to thaw out. His hand was flesh and blood as he reached for him, “Hey …”

Daken flinched at the touch but then turned and wrapped his arms around Bobby, holding on tightly. _More immortal than any one of us._ He’d said that about Bobby to Laura once but he hadn’t been sure how true in practice that was compared to theory. Now he felt like he had a decent idea of it. “Tell me you froze the old fuck so I can slice him into pieces for putting you at risk.”

“I let him go.” It felt incredibly good, having his arms around Daken, having Daken out of that berserker rage. He’d seen it in Logan so many times, and the idea of his calculating and controlled lover losing it that way frightened him. “The bullet’s were poisoned, they didn’t exit. Had to push them out. I wasn’t really paying attention to him.”

“I’m going to kill him, _slowly_ , next time he shows his stupid face.” Nuzzling he breathed deeply. There were traces of poison in the scent but they were due to the blood that had soaked into Bobby’s clothes. Daken was almost entirely sure that the poison wasn’t actually in Bobby’s blood stream anymore. “We need a hotel. You can’t drive around looking like you murdered someone …”

“Yeah, maybe a shower.” Bobby shook his head, “We should go, this sleepy town is going to be buzzing.” Bobby didn’t let go of Daken. 

With another deep breath he let go and then guided Bobby down the fire escape on the back of the building. They stayed in the shadows as sirens sounded, people people ran about, and just general confused chaos unfolded. Daken didn’t lead them back to their car, instead he picked one which looked good enough to have to belong to a rich asshole, “That one, get in.”

There was no point in arguing. They had to get out of here. Being caught up in questioning would be a nightmare. There was no point in it either, this town wasn’t ready to deal with this New York City drama. It was better to disappear. “I’ll see if I can find a hotel in the next town over …”

* * *

For the next twenty three minutes they didn’t talk. Daken drove with his hands tight around the wheel and the charming, sweet humor he had been using the last few days for interacting with staff was gone as well. Instead he was short and sharp with the man at the reception desk and he didn’t stop to greet the middle aged woman who was clearly cleaning up after other customers either. As soon as the door was closed behind them, Daken tested the lock, checked the windows and then turned back to Bobby, “Come here.”

It all happened in a rush. Daken was in his arms, Daken was looking at him like he wasn’t real, and then they were kissing. There was a desperation and need to it that Bobby had never felt. It was almost as if Daken thought he might just disappear, might just evaporate before his eyes. Bobby moaned loudly and held on tight. He’d almost died today, he’d felt himself dying. Romulus and Remus were trying to use him as leverage to get Daken back, trying to use the life Daken had made, trying to dismantle everything. Yet they were here, together. Daken hadn’t chased off after Bullseye. He hadn’t insisted it was best for him to distance himself. No, they were here, they were together, and there was no chance of either of them letting go. As Daken nipped at his lip Bobby knew it was true.

_Leaving will take attention off of Bobby,_ the voice in his head whispered in that twisted tone.

Daken pushed until Bobby’s back hit the wall, hands tugging on clothes and roaming over smooth skin.

Leaving would also mean being alone again. And being alone meant he would, inevitably, repeat patterns that would eventually lead him back into Romulus’ arms.

“You almost died. I heard your heart stop. I heard it stop!” Daken growled as he leaned down to kiss where he knew the bullets had entered.

_Leaving is not an option._

“I’m alive.” Bobby’s fingers pushed through Daken’s hair as his breath came fast. “I’m alive.”

“Should’ve killed him, shouldn’t’ve let him go.” His speech was slurred between kisses. Bobby wasn’t dead. He was breathing, his skin was warm, his heart was beating loudly. _I might die before you ever will. That’s the oddest thought I have ever had._

“Aki … Akihiro … oh god your lips are so hot!” They were on his stomach, dipping around his navel, and driving him mad. Bobby didn’t remember his shirt coming off, it didn’t matter, touching was what mattered.

Glancing up caused Daken to go almost completely still. Bobby looked divine. Inviolable. Transcendent. There weren’t even words that would really capture the moment, the feeling he was having looking up and seeing these blue eyes shine brightly, cheeks colored, lips red from kissing. Maybe it was the part of him which enjoyed art that was fascinated but more likely it was just how much he loved Bobby that had him take a moment to marvel. Then he remembered to move instead of just staring and he started unbuttoning the pants and tugging on the zipper.

It wasn’t till his pants and underwear were on the floor that Bobby managed to get his voice to work. “Hey, gorgeous, slow down, I’m not going anywhere.”

Those words gave Daken pause. He was kneeling on a shitty carpet inside a low end motel, about to suck dick and even thinking about it clearly didn’t change that he was going to do it. Daken made a soft sound in reply and then looked up through thick lashes, “I know. Now how about you just make pretty noises for me unless you want me to stop ...” With a little smirk he nuzzled against that hard shaft and then kissed along the length.

The words, _‘don’t you ever stop’_ , were on Bobby’s lips but he didn’t speak them. Instead he moaned and tilted his head back. Even against his cock Daken’s lips were like fire. “Yes!”

Hearing that hitch in Bobby’s breathing, the urgency in his tone and feeling him shiver did _things_ to him.

Daken wasn’t entirely sure what to do with his own arousal over the situation. Giving head was a mechanical, simple thing to him, something as mundane as washing dishes or doing the laundry. It wasn’t supposed to make heat coil in his stomach. It wasn’t the act that was supposed to excite him, it was the tiny bit of praise that came after. But this wasn’t Romulus. This wasn’t his ‘Master’. This was _Bobby_.

_Fucking hell, focus. It’s a blowjob, not the discovery of the human genome._ Pushing the thoughts aside he wrapped his lips around the tip and moved his hand along the shaft, teasing more than trying to get Bobby off.

It sent shock waves through his groin and up his spine. Bobby felt his toes curl, and his breath come short. This wasn’t the first time someone had put his dick in their mouth, but it was the first time that it’d happened without a load of repression in the way. The first time when he’d wanted the person on their knees for him with all his heart. “Aki … oh god, oh god!”

Making a soft sound in reply he glanced up, caught Bobby’s eyes and then made a great show out of swallowing that thick cock down to the root. It was easy to work around his gag reflex, something that he had been taught decades ago. Something that had never been this fun before either.

Between the wall and the way Daken was pressing against him Bobby felt secure and steady. He pushed his fingers into that thick, silky hair and pulled. Bobby watched Daken, watched him take his entire cock down that incredible, hot throat, and almost managed not to choke on his own tongue. It was almost funny, the fact that he was having to cough a few times and gather himself, but Daken had an entire cock down his throat and was just fine. 

If his mouth hadn’t been full, Daken would have chuckled but as it was, he just started to slowly bob his head. He didn’t want things to end quickly and he wasn’t just waiting for Bobby to be done so he could go back to doing something else. It was a very different experience. A welcome one.

“Oh god.” The slow, unrushed way Daken moved was almost hypnotic. Bobby licked his lips and let out a long, low, moan. He knew that this wasn’t going to be fast, he could see it in the ease of Daken’s brows, in the set of his eyes, and how lightly those deft hands rested over the tops of his thighs. His breath hissed through his teeth as the head of his cock rubbed against the ridges in the roof of Daken’s mouth. Hot pulses of pleasure made him feel unsteady, he felt almost as if he might fall over but then there was the steadying presence of Daken’s hands, no longer so light on his thighs, bracing him. “Sorry. Jus’, wow!”

There was only a soft hm sound in reply. Daken had no intentions of stopping to talk, not when he felt oddly comfortable and calm doing this. It was like all the stress of the last hour was forgotten as long as he didn’t stop doing this. Nevermind how good Bobby tasted and smelled, and how arousing all the little sounds were that he was making.

Bobby nodded and bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything else as Daken began to bob his head again. That didn’t last long though. He found that he couldn’t stop, couldn’t even begin to stem the tide of the things he wanted to say, “So beautiful, like that. Oh fuck, Aki- oh yes! -hiro! Feels so good. Oh! You’re so good, so good Kitten!”

It sent a shiver down his back, the way Bobby was praising him and how absolutely breathless he sounded doing it. Daken moaned around the length in his mouth and glanced up again, pleased with what he saw. The blissed out expression, the color on Bobby’s cheeks and the way he was looking down on him – for the lack of a better word, it was _erotic._ Daken had never liked the term much but it fit here. It fit Bobby. Why was difficult to explain, and didn’t really matter either. However, the fact that kneeling was becoming uncomfortable, did matter. It saddened him just a little that they actually could not do this for a couple of hours, as much as he might have liked that.

Pulling back just a little in preparation for swallowing he caught Bobby’s eyes once more as he reached up. He took a second to play with Bobby’s balls but then moved past them, fingers running over smooth skin until he found the spot and then he was rubbing over it in time with the motion of his bobbing head. _Anyone ever done that to you?_

Just the eye contact would have done Bobby in with a few more moments. He’d been on the edge for what felt like endless glorious hours. The clever fingers on his taint pulled a surprised and strangled sound from his chest. Bobby came, he felt the waves of pleasure through his cock, but it didn’t stop there, those fingers spread it, like warm waves, through his entire pelvis. 

_Probably not_. Swallowing happily Daken kept sucking and playing a little longer, just until Bobby almost flinched back from overstimulation. With a pleasured sigh he pulled back and licked his lips, looking entirely too smug, “Think you liked that.”

Though his voice was breathy with pleasure Bobby managed a very sarcastic expression, “No, was the worst ever.” Bobby rolled his eyes as he started hauling Daken back up onto his feet. “That’s why you have to kiss me right now.” 

Chuckling he went along with it but Daken stopped shy of kissing him, “I just swallowed, you might want me to brush my teeth first.”

That took Bobby a moment to compute and then he just kissed Daken hard on the mouth. There was a bit of a salty taste, but that was more of a turn on than anything else. Daken tasted like him. 

_Or not. That’s also fine._ Daken moaned into the kiss, arms wrapping around Bobby’s neck as he pressed close.

The kiss could have gone on quite some time but Bobby reined himself in as his head cleared and asked, “You okay? I mean … cause the blow job.”

It made him feel warm all over and put a smile back on his lips. Bobby _cared_ and that felt really nice. “M’good. No regrets. I wanted to do that, so I did.”

“Good.” Bobby took a deep breath and said, “I wanna lay down with you and keep touching. I don’t … I don’t wanna let go, and I want … I want to make you feel good.”

With a soft smile he kicked his own shoes off and started to strip down, making sure to not go too fast as he liked the way Bobby was watching him.

“The way your hair falls when you bend over …” His voice was soft and yet Bobby thought it was still almost too loud, “... I wanna sculpt something like that but the color wouldn’t be there and I don’t think it works if it’s not this cascade of midnight ribbons over your shoulder.” 

That drew a chuckle and Daken settled down on the bed, motioning for Bobby, “Come here and kiss me. You can make me feel embarrassed over how pretty I am later. Preferably when I am not so as emotionally compromised because I swear, if you make me cry over compliments, I will not talk to you for the rest of this trip!”

“You shouldn’t make threats you can’t follow up on.” Bobby was already on his way and didn’t pause when he drew near. They were horizontal on the bed before Daken could reply and Bobby pushed his advantage. “Anyway if you cry, I’ll cry, and I ugly cry Kitten, it’s not pretty.”

“Is there pretty crying? Is that why some people get off on their partner crying in bed?” Daken frowned as he pulled the blanket over them and cuddled close.

“Some people can do it quiet without their face turning all red.” Bobby shook his head and kissed both Daken’s cheeks. “I didn’t tell you I had a PhD in kink-ology, I told you I knew some basics. I’ve got no idea why some people like that sort of thing. I do know that you make me feel amazing, and that my balls are still tingling.”

“I’m good at blowjobs.” Daken smirked, clearly pleased with himself still.

“You’re the best at blowjobs. Also the expression on your face … Love it.” Bobby kissed the tip of Daken’s nose, “Love you, a lot.”

The mood shifted at that and Daken sobered, expression darkening as reality caught back up with him. “I thought I lost you. I can’t – I can’t fucking do this. I can’t have _him_ out there just being this looming threat. I know nothing is getting solved tonight but _fuck_!”

“Daken they can’t just kill me. I’ve been busted to pieces, I’m been … I’m not going to make a list but let’s just say, I’m really hard to kill.” He took Daken’s right hand and laid it over his breast. “You can hear my heart, you can feel it. As long as we’re together, as long as we work as a team, there’s not a lot that they can do. We’re going to figure this out, I swear to you, we are going to end this.”

With a huff he lied down again and put his head on Bobby’s chest, listening to that steady _thud thud_ of his partners heartbeat. It took a good five minutes but then he slowly began to relax again. “I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be alone again …”

“You are stuck with me.” The words were firm and confidant. This was something he’d been thinking about a lot, especially since this trip had started, and then more after their talk in Yellowstone. “You and I are a pair, and with Zach we’re a family. I’m never going to leave you, and I’m not going to let anyone take you away from me. I swear to you Akihiro.”

There was a short pause and then Daken chuckled, “It’s weird how I feel happy when you call me that. I rejected that name for so long …”

“It’s your name. It belongs to you.” His thumb moved back and forth over Daken’s skin in a slow, even, easy motion. “I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to be part of you taking it back.”

“Don’t have to tell me, I can smell it.” Nuzzling in he smiled and then kissed Bobby, soft and slow.

So many times when their lips came together it was Bobby who drew back first, who needed a breath, who had to stop. It was not so this time. Bobby kissed Daken till he was breathless, and looked down at him with all the tenderness and love he felt glowing in his eyes, “You deserve to hear it. No don’t you cry, I don’t want you to stop talking to me.” With a smile Bobby quickly leaned in for another kiss. _Always._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hey all, Nausi here!**
> 
> I hope that we didn’t give you lovely readers too much of a heart attack. We are not killing our main characters. Still, I know that it’s gut wrenching to read this. It was difficult to write. There were many challenges in this chapter, many little hang ups and hurdles to jump. In the end I’m very proud of it. We are referencing events in the Old Man Logan solo series here. You don’t need to know much save that Old Man Logan has Adamantium poisoning, due to the metals shelf life basically running out, and Lester has been harassing him. 
> 
> What did you guys think of Bullseye? He’s not one that I write often and he’s a bizarre character. It takes a special headspace to write him, that’s for sure. Did we scare you? If so I hope the tender scene afterwards helped.
> 
> Please do say hello and let us know what you think of this chapter!


	57. Chapter 57

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Day 05 - Daken handles the clean up after their rather unpleasant encounter with Bullseye and Bobby learns a little more about that relationship than he probably wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Telepathy, Referenced Conditioning, Illegal Activity, Implied/Referenced Abusive Relationship, Implied/Referenced Bad BDSM Etiquette, Implied/Referenced Torture, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Tendencies, Mentions of Iceman #04
> 
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**Friday**

The sound of the shower woke him. Bobby knew it was early. The sun was just backlighting the curtains. The place where Daken had been was still warm. It hadn’t been long since he left the bed. Bobby sighed and rolled over on his back to stare at the ceiling. _I almost died._ It was only now that he really had time to think about it. _I was shot twice in the heart._ Bobby ran his hand over his chest, over the unmarred skin. _There was poison on the bullets._ His frown knit his brows as he wondered, _Was that really planned for me? Do they know how hard I am to kill?_ He took a deep breath and looked at the weird shapes in the textured ceiling, looking for answers the way someone might when looking at the clouds, or the stars, trying to find meaning and reason in things that were both beyond his understanding and almost certainly random. _It’s not random though_. _These are the minds that shaped Daken. There’s reason to it. I just can’t see it yet._

 _[Good morning sunshine. Your boyfriend is an asshole, but I think you already know that.]_ Quentin had waited until he felt that Bobby was beginning to come around. Being woken up by a telepath wasn’t pleasant and it gave some odd sort of hungover feeling. He wasn’t sure why, he just knew that was the case and so he tended to avoid it if possible.

 _[Did he call you? We’re in a later time zone than you so I don’t know why that’d be a problem?]_ Bobby shifted and sighed. Quire had an incredible reach. He out did most other telepaths. It was almost like he was constantly connected to a cerebro. _[Did he say something about you needing a haircut on twitter? Personally I really liked seeing that picture of you with Yuki.]_

_[Your giant kitten does make me look cuter than I am. She’s good at that. But no, it’s not about my hair growing back in. Daken wants me working and that is mean! Isn’t having to pretend I am good at people bad enough yet?]_

_[You do have an image to uphold.]_ Bobby sat up and scrubbed his hands over his face. _What could Daken want Quentin working on?_

 _[My normal policy on being asked to do something is to make that choice myself and trust the person asking that they are sane enough to know what they are doing.]_ Quentin paused there, giving Bobby a chance to process that before he continued, _[But Daken is in a bad place and I **don’t**_ _know if he is sane enough. You’re with him though and I think I can trust your assessment of the situation.]_

 _Is he … ?_ Bobby groaned and started to pull himself out of bed. That was a hard question to answer. His gut was to insist that Daken was in control of himself, that he was fine. But that wasn’t necessarily true. _[You know, I think it depends. What is he asking you to do Quen?]_

_[He’s asked me to put in a few blocks so that for the time being he can’t be triggered as easily. In the long run, I am apparently supposed to work on and through that conditioning. I don’t know why the hell I am his choice but yay me?]_

_[I trust you with my life, and he trusts me.]_ There was another groan and then Bobby was on his feet. He looked around the room and sighed. _[He was triggered yesterday. Bullseye shot me twice in the chest and when Daken faced him Bullseye used some phrase and it shut him down. It makes sense, Akihiro wants to make sure that doesn’t happen again. I think helping him protect himself is the right choice.]_

 _[Whoa, okay, what?]_ Quentin sat up on the other side of the country, suddenly very much awake and disturbing Jimmy’s attempt at napping. _[You got shot? TWICE?]_

 _[In the heart with poisoned bullets.]_ Bobby nodded and looked around for his underwear. All their stuff was back in the SUV they’d left behind. His switch, their snacks, Daken’s sketchbook, clothes, all of it, save what they’d had on their backs and in their pockets. _[Older Logan showed up, grumpy as hell, with a wicked cool milky eye, and used us as bait to flush out Bullseye, but uh … he shot me, and well … I got better.]_

_[“I got better” he says. Holy fuck Bobby, what the hell kind of vacation are you two on? Weren’t you supposed to like fight over music and be upset how much the other needs to pee?! There was nothing about getting shot in these plans!]_

Bobby couldn’t help chuckling at that. _[Love you too Pinkie Pie. Come on man, really. You think I planned this? Where do you think Lester got the control phrase from? You know who's behind this.]_

 _[Yes, I know and that’s why I am panicking and my boyfriend is giving me a weird, sleepy look.]_ Quentin forced himself to take a deep breath and then added, _[Look, just, stay away from grumpy dying old man.]_

 _[That’s the plan, though I don’t know the details at the moment. We ditched our main ride.]_ Bobby looked at the bathroom door and strained a little. _He’s in there._ _[He was already in the bathroom when you woke me up.]_

_[Daken mentioned that he needed me to wait about two hours before messing about in his head. He shouldn’t drive while I do that, you know. So have fun being the designated driver for the day.]_

_[Good, I can decide when we pee for a while.]_

There was a pause and then Quentin thought, _[You **do** know that Daken is, in the end, still Logan’s son and he would absolutely piss into a bottle if you challenged him, yes?]_

Bobby rolled his eyes, _[If there’s nothing close sure, bottles are an option, but I’m not twelve.]_ Despite what he was thinking to Quire there was a grin on his face. _[I’m not going to set up potty jokes.]_

_[Admit it; You are just excited to see his dick any given chance and you totally will set up a potty joke.]_

_[I don’t need a set up to see Aki’s dick.]_ Bobby grinned ear to ear and pulled his socks on. _You’re taking forever in the bathroom Kitten._ _[I do need a miracle to get his pretty ass out of the bathroom though!]_

 _[Think he’s in there trying to make himself feel less icky after that trigger. Lucky for everyone he can’t actually scrub himself raw.]_ Quentin started to get out of bed as he finished the thought, _[I’ll give you a nudge too before I start with him. Now I’ll need to explain to my boyfriend why I’ve been making faces for the past twenty minutes.]_

Bobby could feel Quentin withdraw from his mind. It was an odd sort of feeling, not unpleasant, just odd. Everything was a bit odd though, and Bobby wasn’t sure how he felt about that. Just when he was about to knock on the bathroom door Daken came out. Bobby took him in, half dressed, wet hair, and determined expression, “Hey handsome, good morning.”

“Good morning, Snowflake.” Leaning in he kissed Bobby softly and then pushed past him to find his shirt from last night. “Take your time with getting ready. I’m going back for our car and to return the one we borrowed yesterday. Should have calmed down now, the whole mess over there.”

“Oh.” He turned and watched Daken. It was always a delight to see how he moved and the body did so many interesting things when a person got dressed. “Good call. Quen checked in with me, told me I was going to be doing some driving.”

“Figured he’d check with you if I am sane enough to make such calls. That’s what he did, isn’t it?”

“Yeah.” Bobby nodded and walked towards Daken, ignoring his bladder. “I told him you were. I also gave him some context. I think I might have freaked him out a bit.”

“And here I was so nice to not mention you getting shot. You are meaner to your friend than I am.” Daken leaned in for another kiss and then pulled his jacket on. “We’ll talk when I get back. Sun is going to rise soon and I might miss my chance to get the car without being seen.”

“Mmm, alright.” Bobby nodded and took a step backwards. Though what he wanted was to snuggle and make sure Daken was alright, letting him go, getting back on the road, making it to LA, that was the smart choice. Letting Daken get on with things, actually going to the bathroom, those were smart choices. “But come here.” Sometimes smart choices weren’t worth making. 

* * *

**D -** Wake up Cajun. Need to ask some questions.

Bobby had delayed him slightly in his time table but that wasn’t _really_ a problem. They weren’t pressed for time and there was no reason to say no to a little making out and whispering stupidly sweet things to each other. Still, Daken was glad to be getting back to handling the mess that yesterday had produced. After all, he didn’t really want to be seen returning a stolen car. As he walked out of the motel, he greeted the man at the reception with a smile and then dialed Remy’s number, sure that the Cajun had to at least have noticed his text by then.

“ _Mon frère_ , you are in a hurry.” Remy sounded a little breathless. 

“It’s seven in the morning your time. How was I to know you were busy having fun?”

“Sleeping _mon amie_ , was sleeping, had to get outta the room without wakin’ anyone.” Despite the firmness of his rebuttal, Remy’s voice was warm, and it was clear he was not put out by the call. 

“You still with Rogue? Your life choices are very questionable but who am I to talk …” Daken sighed and then continued, “I need you to come to Wyoming, to a little town near Yellowstone called Sugar City.”

“Rogue and I, we got an understanding, don’t you worry yourself about it.” There was the sound of motion and then Remy spoke again, “S’long way. What you need me for? Thought you and the Snowflake were on honeymoon.”

“Romulus is having a bit of an issue with letting go. And I am getting very, very tired of being one step behind so I need you to find the old fuck and figure out what he knows.” Daken realized quickly that he was not making a lot of sense and groaned at himself, “Let me rephrase that; The old Logan was in the city and he was hunting Bullseye. Except that he wasn’t really, because reality is that Lester was hunting him. But that still leaves questions and I need answers.”

“ _Merde_.” Daken could hear it, even through the phone, Remy rubbing his face and sighing loudly, “You mind if I bring someone in to speed things up?”

“Whatever you need. I just want him to spill everything he knows. If you have to, drag him back to school and let Quire have at him. Someone who gets my boyfriend shot doesn’t have the privilege of me playing nice anymore.”

“Whoa! I fold, what happened? Is Drake okay? You?” 

There was a pause as Daken’s mind wandered back to the peaceful memory of his boyfriend sleeping, buried under the blanket and half hidden in the pillows. “Yeah, Bobby’s fine. Turns out he is harder to kill than I am.”

“Don’t need you, Scott, Jean, Warren, and McCoy to all go off their rockers at once so that a good thing.” Remy took a deep breath and gathered himself, “Gotta make a call, get this in motion.”

“Don’t tell Laura. Or the less old Logan. They’ll freak out over me and I don’t need an overprotective sister and a guilty father ruining my trip. I’m gonna enjoy this stupid vacation because that’s the biggest ‘fuck you’ I can think of to _him_.”

“S’our little secret _mon frère_ , don’t you worry.”

“Good. And … be careful. I don’t think you’re on his list but who knows. Insane minds are impossible to predict.”

“I’ve tangled with the worst of them. Make Drake give you a hug for me no? I’ll be in touch.” There was a tone in the cajun’s voice that made it very clear he was pleased to help and to have something to do.

“Thank you, Remy.” Daken smiled as he hung up and then pulled over to park the stolen car. He’d have to walk two blocks to get to their car but that was safer than parking nearby and switching.

* * *

Most of Thursday had been lost to picnicking and recovering from being shot. They were still making good time, especially since they decided to simply drive till they hit Las Vegas. Between the food in the cooler and their snack bars they had meals enough for a day of driving. 

It was the first time since night driving Daken had allowed Bobby to take the wheel for more than a hour or two at a time. This meant Bobby sang along to the music more often, and Daken even joined in a few times when it was something like ‘The Smiths’ or ‘Queen’ playing. Despite all the tension and fear of the previous day, there was an easiness in the cabin of their fancy SUV that Bobby found reassuring. Their conversations, between epic power ballads and poetically emotional songs, meandered through a range of topics. The different languages they knew: for Daken it was almost too many to keep track of while for Bobby it was English and Spanish with a smattering of French and Japanese. The places they wanted to go together: Italy was banned, but they both wanted very much to take a trip to Japan together and even talked about bringing Zach and Gabby along.

As they were each munching on what passed for dinner on the road, their bladders recently emptied, Bobby asked, “So when was the first time you met Laura anyway?”

“That is a good question. Technically I met her first on Utopia where she kicked my ass. With two of her equally adorable and violently pissed off teenage girl friends. Good times.” Daken chuckled at the memory and shook his head, “But I wasn’t … really me then. So I count meeting her in Madripoor as the _real_ first meeting.”

“That was the first time you and Laura laid eyes on each other?” Bobby shook his head and glanced over at Daken. They were driving west-ish, towards the setting sun, the light, the way it hit Daken’s face, was gorgeous. “I was there that day, when Osborn brought his Avengers to Utopia. It was the first time I saw you.”

“Mmh, yeah I remember getting distracted by the light reflecting off of you. Earned me claws through my belly but hey, I never had been around that many Mutants before. I was honestly a bit occupied with being fascinated, which didn’t help me not get my ass kicked.”

“If I remember right it was Pixie, Laura and … Hisako?” Bobby licked his lips and laughed, “Shit! She’s never said a word about it, it’s like she doesn’t even remember it.”

“I think she remembers. I remember, but I don’t apologize for it because that was not me. Not who I am now anyway. What I did, I did. I wouldn’t do it again but I don’t make excuses for the behavior.”

Bobby nodded and for a moment things were quiet. There was no good direct follow up. However, Daken didn’t go tense or turn away, and after a moment he asked, “When you were on Osborn’s side, who were your friends?”

That made him look over at Bobby with a doubtful expression and arch a brow, “Did you just really imply that a bunch of psychopaths would be capable of friendship? Oh Bobby, sometimes you are just so cute and clueless.” Rolling his eyes he chuckled and then shrugged, “I had some sex with Bullseye if that counts for anything.”

“Bullseye? Really?” Bobby looked over, his hands moved, the car veered slightly, and then he got his eyes back on the road, “Come on, that guy? That was … okay. Yeah, I guess you were a different person.”

“I used him to abuse myself. There was nothing romantic about it. Nothing friendly or even sexual. He wanted to get off and torture someone, and I wanted to be tortured so I took the being fucked part as an annoying side effect.”

It was obvious that again Bobby wasn’t entirely sure what to say. He did keep his eyes on the road this time, and the car remained steady, “You know I’m never going to do anything like that to you right? I walked into Meantime thinking I was meeting the same guy who signed up for Osborn’s goon crew. We’ve both changed a lot, we’re better than we used to be. I’m never gonna hurt you like that. I can’t.”

There was a long pause as he finished eating and sipped from the water bottle. A part of him wanted to complain and act out but that was habit. Bad habit. Instead he finally said, “Define _like that_.”

“You said ‘torture’.” Bobby answered easily but it was clearly not without thought. “You don’t use words like that lightly, and given who your _partner_ was, it was literal. I will not debase or objectify you, period.” There was a short pause as Bobby let someone pass them. He licked his lips and then continued, “You seem to like having your hair pulled, nails down your back, biting, and other sort of ‘rough’ stuff. That’s all kosher. I’m not going to do anything kinkier than that with you till we’ve had a chance to sit down and really talk about sex, about what you think you might like, what you think your no gos are. I’ve never gotten into any sort of play before, you know what my sex life was like before you, a total farce. Still, I am pretty sure nothing I’m going to enjoy doing is going to fall under the header of what you would seriously call ‘torture’.”

“I think we covered the torture thing at Meantime and I’d rather not repeat that. It wasn’t fun in any sense of the word.” Daken shrugged and reached into their box of candy bars, “I mean, at some point pain stops being pain. It’s when the brain shuts down pain receptors because it literally cannot handle more. That point used to be what I looked for because I’d been groomed to go through pain on a level most people aren’t even able to conceptualize. He’d push me to that breaking point over and over and over – for my own good of course. So I would _toughen up_ and _learn my lesson.”_

“And when you worked for Osborn, when you slept with Bullseye, that’s what you were looking to recreate.” Bobby licked his lips and nodded, “I should’ve frozen that monster and left him on the roof for the local cops to deal with, except it likely would’ve gotten them killed when he thawed out.” _I should’ve ended him._

“Lester is a textbook psychopath. He absolutely delights in killing and hurting people. It’s his drug and I knew. I knew the second I saw him, and so I used it.” He sighed and then frowned, “I was … I kinda hoped that he’d manage to kill me. Romulus knew where to stop because he knew how healing factors worked, but Lester didn’t and I thought, hey, maybe this is finally where it ends. Clearly it didn’t.”

Bobby looked over at Daken for a moment and then back at the road, “If you wanted to touch me right now it wouldn’t get in the way of me driving and I’d be really a lot more than okay with it.”

Reaching over he put his hand on Bobby's thigh and smiled at him, “I'm not suicidal anymore. At least not right now. Haven't been in … a while.”

“Good. I’d be lost without you.” Though he wanted to reach down for Daken’s hand he kept both of his on the steering wheel. Silence fell, and the songs changed. Daken’s hand stayed on his thigh. Another song came on, and Bobby snuck a quick peek at Daken. Traffic was getting thicker again. He’d been noticing side roads, and general signs that they were leaving the open desert. There was a dirt track off to their left, but on their right, coming up first, was a field of cars. Bobby had checked Google Maps at their last stop and knew that this was a giant Enterprise car rental lot. “Hey. We’re almost to Vegas.”

“Mmh, have you ever gambled?” Daken yawned and stretched with a sleepy sigh. Quire had told him he was done about an hour ago which was a nice feeling. That safety net of knowing no one could _just_ trigger anything now.

The sun was setting over the city, the glare was terrible, but Bobby grinned, “Yeah, but I can’t tell you about it till we’re _in_ Vegas.” Though he could hardly contain himself, Bobby managed to only laugh a little before he said, “What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Hi all, Nausi here!**
> 
> This is a bit of a transitional and housekeeping chapter. Lots of little moving parts and scenes. The road trip is almost done, and the boys have come a long long way. 
> 
> In between now and when we posted chapter 56 Finn and I have made some hard decisions. While we both love this story and this world, we think that it would be for the best to move towards an end game for this world. We’ve had a lot of fun here, and we’ve learned a great deal about story craft. Now it’s time to earnestly work towards giving these guys a solid conclusion. 
> 
> There are other stories we want to tell with Daken and Bobby. Finn and I have already started talking about what other versions of this relationship we’d like to explore. How else we would want to develop these characters. If you want to be among the first to know what we’re plotting follow us on tumblr. The links are above. 
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading, and strap in! We’ve got a wild ride left in this old horse!


	58. Chapter 58

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After seven days on the road, they finally arrived in Los Angeles. Bobby decides to celebrate the occasion with sweet treats. Daken has a treat of his own for his lover.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Kink Negotiation, Sexual Themes, Oral Sex, Romance, Fluff, Relationship Building, Trust Building, Implied/Referenced BDSM
> 
> **Note:** If I were to list all mentioned kinks, it would take forever. Just be warned that this chapter includes serious discussion of several kinks and sexual things. 
> 
> [Visit Finnlay's Tumblr](https://sniktice.tumblr.com/)  
>  [Visit Nausi's Tumblr](https://nausiwindstrider.tumblr.com/)

**Tuesday**

It was late when they got into LA, later still when they finally made it into Venice Beach, a stylish neighborhood that passed for a high rise in this town. Bobby had figured Daken would rally and want to show him around despite the late hour. That hadn’t come to pass. The only thing Daken had shown him, was past the pool, up the stairs and into the bedroom. The bathroom was en suite and hardly needed to be pointed out. It seemed that a day in Vegas, an admittedly emotional day, and a lot more diving, was enough to wipe Daken out. 

When Bobby woke up he had Daken curled in his arms, head on his chest, hair a river of midnight over the pillows. The bed was incredibly comfortable which meant that he’d rested for a good six hours without having to move much. It also meant the arm Daken was snuggling over wasn’t asleep. Even the nicer beds in the nicer hotels hadn’t been this comfortable. Mostly Bobby didn’t want to move, he wanted to stay right where he was, wanted to spend an hour just watching Daken sleep, but his body wasn’t on the same page with his mind. Apparently he’d had too much water before bed, and his bladder was insisting that he figure out how to get out of this dream come to life and deal with reality. 

Somehow Daken hardly woke up. Bobby couldn’t help wondering if it was the end of the trip, or if maybe Daken actually felt safe out here. Whatever it was Bobby decided not to over examine it. There were things he wanted to do after relieving himself, the first of which was borrowing clothes from the walk in closet. The room was attached to the bathroom which made it easy for him to cloth himself without waking Daken up. His things were all still in his bags and going through them now was too big a risk. So Bobby found the work out clothes and put on the brightest colors Daken owned before sneaking out of the room. 

“Okay now … if I was a kitchen where would I be?” The words sounded loud in the still space, but not deafeningly so. Unlike many modern spaces Daken’s had plenty of fabrics and soft textures. The sound didn’t tend to get bounced around too badly, which Bobby noted with approval. What he wanted to do wasn’t _loud_ but it wasn’t quiet either. There was only the barest hint of light coming in but he did not dare raise the blinds. 

First he found the living room, which wasn’t what he was looking for, and was impressed by the number of pillows on the sofa. It wasn’t ‘homey’ looking but it did look like a good place to hang out, it looked comfortable, warm, and welcoming. From there Bobby padded back through the hall, saw the stairs, and then continued forward when he caught sight of the table. “How’d I miss that before? Must still be …”

His voice trailed off as he looked at the kitchen. It was totally open, and looked to have a small balcony space behind it. The island was also sort of a bar, and it was spacious. There was plenty of room to roll out dough, plenty of room to assemble things, to have a food processor out, to have trays, to … to bake. Bobby licked his lips and grinned broadly. He knew what he was going to spend the next several hours doing. “Coffee first … definitely going to have to start with coffee …”

~~~~~

Something smelled good. Daken had woken up to the scent of coffee but decided that a hot shower had to happen before he did anything that involved socializing with humans. He was cranky and sore, but also very thoughtful and contemplative this morning. Coming back to Los Angeles was basically coming home for him and he had to admit that he had slept even better than he normally did with Bobby’s arms around him. Though that might be attributed to the far superior mattress of his bed here. Who knew. It was only going to become clear when he moved back to New York City. Maybe. Probably.

As he pulled on a pair of underwear he opted to forgo anything else and then put up his hair into a loose bun before heading out of the bedroom. The smell was even more intense and Daken made a sound which might have been a moan. “Fuck me, whatever smells so good here, I want to make love to it.” With a lazy yawn he stepped around the counter and looked over Bobby’s shoulder, “Is that … apple and cinnamon? Bobby are you trying to make me give you a morning blowjob?”

“I’m making love to your kitchen.” Bobby grinned ear to ear as he finished serving them up. “Was a bit worried there wouldn’t be anything in the kitchen, but there was plenty to keep me busy.” The apple crisp turn over thing, the waffles, and the coffee did not account for even half of what Bobby was up to. He had cutting boards, bowls, silpat lined baking sheets, two scales, and several whisks out. Though he was a fairly tidy cook there was a little flour on the floor, and plenty on his borrowed clothes as well. “I think I’m in love.”

“With my kitchen? It’s crammed into the corner and there isn’t much space to move around … I expected you to be quite grumpy about it.” Daken arched a brow even as he tried to lean over and snatch a piece of apple.

“Hey, I haven’t put the ice cream on top yet!” Though it was good natured Bobby did wack Daken’s hand. Wack or not he was grateful for the distraction all the same. Daken was in the kitchen in tiny red underwear, and nothing else. He was not so used to seeing his lover in next to nothing that he was immune to it, and Bobby wasn’t sure that would ever change, “And don’t be so mean to my newest lover. This kitchen is wonderful.”

“I don’t remember agreeing to you having a second lover.” Daken stuck his tongue out and then went to sit on the stool instead of standing in Bobby’s way. “You better be almost ready to serve that to me or I will start pouting and then you will feel bad!”

“Enough with the threats, there’s no need to mutiny. Just keep your hands on the counter.” Bobby set a plate down in front of Daken and put a generous scoop of creamy vanilla ice cream down on top of the crisp which was sharing space with two golden waffles. “Hold on, just …” He then set down a bowl of whipped cream and another of chocolate chips. “You want anything else for the waffles?”

Daken looked up at Bobby and said in a flat, serious tone, “Yes, I would like some of your special white sauce.”

“You’re a dirty boy with sex on the mind.” Bobby chuckled, blushed and then served himself before he took a seat next to Daken. “Careful, or we’ll burn this place down, I’ve got a cherry pie in the oven.”

“It’s because you are wearing my clothes! It does funny things to me.” Daken shrugged and then took a bite. There was a short pause and then he moaned in delight, “Good god this is the most delicious thing I’ve ever tasted.”

“It’s something I threw together in a hurry. You’re just hungry.” Despite his words Bobby was glowing. He loved baking, and having a quiet space to do it in with the follow up of sharing it with Daken was proving to be one of the most lovely experiences of his life. 

“No, I mean it. This is that perfect balance between sweet and tart, with a lovely crunch and the soft mellow texture of the apple - and that sweet kick from the cinnamon …” He licked his lips and took another bite.

“I used the scraps from the pie crusts to help bring together the crumble, so there’s a nice buttery texture there.” Bobby smiled and nodded to himself. “I think I wanna make chocolate strawberry crisounts later, but I need to make my own compote, and we don’t have strawberries …”

“There’s a number pinned to the fridge, that’s my grocery store. They deliver whatever the hell you want, just give them a call and tip them generously. All on me of course.”

“Are you enabling me to bake everything and anything I want?” Bobby turned to Daken and leveled a curious gaze on his lovely face. 

“I am enabling you to do whatever the hell you want as long as no one innocent gets harmed in the process. So yes, please bake until you have become sick of baking. And then feed me all the baked goods because I think I am in love with your baking.”

The only reasonable answer to that was laughter. Bobby didn’t hold back, he laughed, shook his head, and then tucked back into his food. All the while thinking about what delicious thing he could make to delight and surprise Daken.

~~~~~

They had shared a few more laughs as they finished their breakfast and then Daken retreated to the couch in the other corner of the space. Bobby was in full on baking-god mode and occupied completely with the delight of having a quiet place to experiment. That meant Daken needed to keep himself busy somehow and after a few minutes of scrolling through social media he decided on something which was long overdue and that they might never have a better chance to do than right now.

Now it was nearing noon and he had started searching around the internet for something he never imagined he would have to do. Or that he imagined everyone was so obsessed with. The world was a whole lot kinkier than Daken had thought and really, he hadn’t been under the impression that everyone was vanilla. Not at all. Just the possibilities and the amount of lists and forums and tips - it was crazy. And hilarious at times. But also a bit creepy here and there. Daken had _not_ needed to know what ‘DD/lg’ meant. He really did not need to know that but now he did.

“Do you know what the abbreviation JOI means?” Daken looked up and over the back of the couch in the general direction of the kitchen, only a head and a pair of hands - the rest of him was wrapped into dark blue velvet.

“Uhh … sounds like something Nintendo would make up. They’ve been using ‘joy-con’ a lot to talk about their controllers here lately.” Bobby was only half listening. He had two pies in the oven, one cooling, and strawberry compote reducing on the stove. 

That drew a soft chuckle from Daken, “Jerk off instructions.” He smirked, “This is my new favorite thing people have come up with.”

“Okay that’s hot, this is hot.” Bobby motioned at Daken and his tablet, “This, you, researching, being happy, and telling me kinky sex things. Bobby like.” As he spoke Bobby took the strawberry compote off the heat and checked the kitchen. There was nothing in here he needed to babysit. 

“I've made us a kink list.” There was color on his cheeks now and he looked down at the screen, “Internet says we should be doing _Kink Negotiation.”_

Those words had Bobby leaving the kitchen rather quicker than he’d meant to, “Yeah that would uh …” It was true, they should, but somehow in his imagination, it had always been him instigating. _Think this is better. He wants this, and he’s leading. That’s how it should be._ “That’s right we should and is there a - second tablet, thanks.” Bobby took the pink tablet from Daken’s hands and sat down, “This must be Gabby’s? You got her a tablet just for when she’s here?”

“Yes, I'm good at presents.” Grinning he gestured, “Come here, let me cuddle you while you fill yours out. I got mine done.”

Part of him wanted to say that he’d read somewhere that they shouldn’t be cuddling and kissing on each other while they did this. It was early, and Daken was wrapped in a blue velvet blanket and Bobby wanted to be inside a blue velvet hug, so he happily settled himself in his lover’s arms. “You have the best taste in fabrics.”

“I like soft things.” Daken nuzzled in and breathed out heavily, “Know we should be doing this all business like but that really doesn't work for me. I've regarded sex as nothing but a currency for so long that anything business like makes me really uncomfortable.”

“It doesn’t bother me, and it works for you, so it’s the right choice.” Bobby snuggled in and took a look at what Daken had prepared. It looked to be a bit of a customizable kink list. He was able to rate things between ‘Favorite’ and ‘No’ with varying degrees between. It was color coded for ease and flow. Bobby forced his eyes to settle on the first section; Basics. 

“Romance … kissing … masturbation … handjobs … frottage … oral sex … anal sex … well that escalated quickly.” Bobby chuckled and clicked in what he liked for himself and then took a little more time with the column labeled ‘partner’. “Nothing about sex with women on here. You really thought of everything, didn’t you?”

“Yeah, figured you wouldn't really want to be thinking about sex with women and we don't need it, so I removed anything that involved women.” 

Bobby turned his head so that he could give Daken a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thanks Kitten.” With that warm feeling in his chest Bobby went back to filling out the lists. He felt fairly confident about it. Though he wasn’t all that experienced in kinky sex he had a fair idea of what was out there, having an internet connection and a healthy libido and sense of curiosity. “Okay so, on to ‘Orgasm Based’ kinks. Feeling pretty good. Hope you’re thinking about what you want for lunch.”

“Waffles.” Daken smiled as he kissed along Bobby's neck. Waffles were his go to comfort food since they started dating because they reminded him of how it all started. It didn't matter that they had just ate them at breakfast, he wanted more. “I know, not a good lunch food but we can have them with bacon or something like that.”

Bobby smiled at that and kept tapping answers. He wanted to know what Daken's had entered. Part of him was worried how Daken's would react to the sight of his answers, but the only way forward was to just do it. “Basically cake but yeah, waffles, again, sound great.”

“I have a healing factor, I could eat nothing but literal cake and be fine.” Daken was deliberately _not_ reading along. He was instead completely focused on leaving a few hickies on Bobby's neck and shoulder.

At first the kisses had been tender, now Bobby could feel how urgent and demanding they had become. The way Daken held onto him, the way he nuzzled in and the soft sounds he made - “Mm’feels so good Kitten.”

Making a soft sound in reply he nipped at Bobby's shoulder and then said, “You can't mark me so I gotta make up for that by marking you.”

“You’re really turning me on.” Bobby pressed back against Daken with a low moan, but he still worked on the sheet, not turning his head for kisses. _Clothing hu? Should’ve guessed that’d made the list. Cross dressing? Okay … and restrictive … okay … don’t think of Daken tied up, don’t think of all the things you could do to him, Drake, concentrate …_

“You know, I think I'll go make us lunch while you fill that out. Before I drive you crazy with need.” Grinning he untangled himself, wrapped the blanket around Bobby and then went into the kitchen area.

“Oh god.” Bobby couldn’t help the exclamation. Daken was basically nude, the tight dark red undies hid almost nothing. There was something about Daken’s voice and the smile on his face that tipped Bobby off. It wasn’t just him, Daken was excited too. The thrill that went through him almost had Bobby back on his feet and in the kitchen. It was only the care Daken had taken to tuck the blanket around him that kept Bobby in place. “Gorgeous man.”

“Yes, I know.” Daken said it shamelessly. As much as he struggled to even be _okay_ with himself - he did know that he was basically eye candy. Sometimes that made him hate himself more, but not now,not with Bobby smelling so good. “So bacon and maple syrup on your waffles?”

“Yes.” The word worked it’s way out, but Bobby knew he sounded a bit rough. The blanket remembered Daken’s heat, but it wasn’t the same as having him there. _Concentrate Drake!_ Bobby sighed and looked back at the screen, _Gags, collar, leash, chastity, bondage light, bondage heavy, encasement. How about hell no on that last one? Toys … yeah those are fun … yes. Oh holy shit Domination. This is a pretty good list Aki …_

For the next fifteen minutes there was nothing but the sound of cooking breaking the silence. Daken could smell, even over the scents filling the kitchen, that Bobby was more than a little aroused and he decided to take that as a good sign. It had to mean he had picked the right kind of things for that list, right? Right.

“Here we are.” Smiling he put the tray down on the coffee table. There were two plates of waffles, one with bacon and maple syrup, and one with chocolate drizzled over it and a variety of fruits. Also coffee and tea.

Bobby had just finished filling in his sheet when Daken came in, still just in his damn undies, with their breakfast resembling lunch. “Sit down with me.” Bobby had eyes only for Daken. 

“Well I was going to.” Sitting down on the couch he picked up his plate and started to dig in.

The way Daken said it made Bobby blush a little as he reached for his own plate, “Maybe I’m feeling a little bossy and needy. Maybe -” Bobby put the first bite of waffle in his mouth and moaned, “Dating you is one of the best choices I’ve ever made. Mmm.” He took another bite. 

“You read the list and it clearly hit the mark. I'm quite proud of myself right now.”

“You snuggled me, left marks on me, cooked for me, and also put together a comprehensive form for kink negotiation.” Bobby looked over at Daken and forced himself to talk and not eat for a moment, “You should be proud, I’m even more seduced than normal.”

“Good because I don't think we'll be doing anything besides making out for the rest of the day.” Daken smirked between bites.

“I have things in the oven, so at some point you’re going to have to let me back into that incredible kitchen of yours.”

“Well you can always tie me to the bed or … mmh … make me kneel by your side while you bake.” It would be impossible to tell if he was joking because even Daken himself wasn't sure.

“Can’t tie you to the bed, I wouldn’t be in there with you and I’d never tie you down and leave you alone. That’s … I can’t see the point in that and it seems like a recipe for disaster.” Bobby took another bite and thought, “Kneeling in the kitchen is more possible, but you’d need a cushion, the floors are too hard to have you kneeling bare kneed for long, I don’t care about your healing factor, it’s just rude. Not sure about placement, I wouldn’t want to be tripping over you.”

There was a long pause as he pondered what Bobby had just said and finished his stack of three waffles. Then Daken sighed and frowned, “See, I know _nothing_ about healthy, consensual, safe kinky anything. I don't think _**'Safe, Sane, Consensual’**_ can be applied to me.”

“It’s not like I’m some sort of expert I just … I keep asking myself if it sounds fair, if it sounds, negligent, or thoughtless. Leaving you alone tied up just seems objectifying to me, the same with making you kneel without any thought to your comfort. It’s not a punishment, it’s a pleasure and privilege or that’s - well that’s what I’d want it to be.”

“You see me as a _person_.” The words should not have come out with that level of utter bafflement but they did.

“You are a person.” Bobby asserted, “I see that because it's real and true.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. It's just - recovery is hard.” Putting the empty plate down he took a deep breath and then smiled, “I think I can manage that - just stick to thinking about whether or not it would be insulting, dangerous or plain mean to do something, to judge the whole _'Is this safe, sane and consensual’_ thing.”

“Yeah, that's a safe way to go.” Bobby licked his lips and then suggested. “Maybe imagine asking me to do whatever it is. Won't always work but it might help get you a baseline.”

“I tried to treat myself nice when I filled out my sheet but who knows, maybe I failed.” Daken shrugged as he reached for the sleek, white tablet and handed it over to Bobby.

“I doubt you failed.” Though he was indeed sure Bobby still scanned the screen with interest. “You really like the idea of me jerking off?” Bobby cocked his head, “I have to admit that’s pretty hot and adorable at the same time.”

“Your pleasure interests me about ten times as much as my own.”

Bobby grinned, “Maybe I can work that into things.” he licked his lips and went back to scanning the kink list.

“Yes, I mean, no better way to learn than watching you do it. You should know what feels especially good, right?”

“I know what I’ve thought of, but let’s be honest here, I wasn’t exploring much till recently.” Bobby shrugged, “There’s a lot you can learn in a year.” His eyes moved over the list, “I’m a little surprised about the forced orgasm ratings. It’s not something I was eager to work on with you, so it’s not a disappointment, I just didn’t expect it to rate bellow a maybe.”

The silence that settled over them was tense but when he managed to get the words out, it was clear that wasn’t on Bobby, “Every orgasm I had with _him_ was forced.”

Bobby set the tablet down and reached for Daken’s hand. “Aki - Kitten.” His lips brushed over Daken’s pulse point and then his palm. “I think it’s good, that you know that. Sorry for it not connecting in my head.”

Closing his eyes for a moment he breathed in deeply and then nodded, “Yeah, took me a long time to accept it but … I didn’t want what he was doing to me. I was forced to believe I did because otherwise I wouldn’t have survived.”

“You’re strong.” Bobby kissed Daken’s palm again and rubbed his thumb back and forth over Daken’s wrist. “So strong.”

“Yeah but I wish I didn’t have to be. I’d rather have a less shitty backstory.” Daken sighed and then added, more light hearted, “Though, according to Quentin, it would make for a great book. Or a case study on the effects of prolonged conditioning.”

“Quen’s real good at finding the bright side of every situation.” Bobby rolled his eyes and then picked the tablet back up. “You wanna keep going?”

“Yes.” Daken nodded, “Give me yours, maybe that will distract me from thinking too much about my sad sob story.”

Bobby handed over the pink tablet. “Not a sob story. Be a little nicer to my boyfriend please.”

“Fine.” Rolling his eyes he leaned back and started to read. For a few minutes there was silence and then Daken asked, “You want me in heels?”

“It’s the best thing in women’s clothing.” Bobby couldn’t help blushing. “What they do for the legs and ass … I mean I’m not saying everyday, but maybe once a year or just once.”

“I’ve worn heels, dresses, typically female lingerie … never thought of it as _sexy_ but I don’t mind. Silk is a lovely fabric to wear.”

Bobby looked up at the ceiling and then back at Daken, “We’ll see if an occasion arises.” He looked back at the tablet and nodded, “Most the rest of this makes sense to me. Uh ...the fluids thing we may have to talk a bit about. Not against trying things unless those things are literal shit, totally unsafe, or dehumanizing, so just … keep that in mind okay?”

“I wasn’t expecting you to be into it. Honestly, I could not explain why I am and I feel like it’s safer for everyone if I don’t think about it too much.”

“If you wanna talk about it some other time just bring it up.” _That or I’ll ask when it’s not so stressful. I’m curious about it._ In an effort to help change the subject back to something that might be a little less controversial Bobby tapped the screen, “So, we’re both in agreement on the ‘play-rape’ stuff. No’s across the board.”

“Yeah, I think we both have had enough questionable and non existent consent in our lives.”

Bobby nodded enthusiastically, “More than enough.” 

“I knew we’d agree on it but I figured this should be something that is said loud and clear, so I put it into the list.”

“Yeah, some things just need to be said.” There was another nod before his eyes went back down to the tablet, “Flogging, caning, and uh … cutting. Flogging I am confident about, but the other two - You are aware I’ve only _hurt_ someone in a fight so far? I have fantasies and thoughts and ideas but that’s … it’s not the same as doing it.”

“You have the perfect partner to try it without any real danger. I heal.” Daken chuckled and leaned over, kissing Bobby’s cheek, “But it’s fine to just settle on a _no_ and stick to it.”

“Cutting is … I don’t think I’d want to do that with someone who didn’t heal like you do.” Bobby licked his lips, “But if we make the rest of this work I think I’d want to try. Everything I’ve read talks about how the pain and pleasure centers get all mixed up, and I kept thinking about how much I love really spicy food, or how Scott’ll work out till he can’t, or how I’ll run till my lungs burn, and … I think I can understand how it could be good if it were done right.”

“The problem is that I don’t have limits.” Daken looked down and sighed, “My tolerance for pain is … quite frankly insane. You know, shortly after the whole Death Seed mess, I got tortured for three days and the only thing that bothered me mildly was having my arm cut off while I was fully aware.”

That made Bobby wince and shake his head. “That … that is a horrible picture you just painted in my head Akihiro.” He licked his lips and tried to settle himself back down by looking at his lover whole and unharmed, “So that’s a goal that’s a bit further off, and something we’ll have to really think about; setting limits, and finding out how to make the pain we’re comfortable with giving you matter and have impact.”

Nodding slowly he looked back up, “Yeah, I think maybe we try working on sex first and then try to fix my shitty relationship with pain.”

Bobby nodded and took a deep breath before he looked back at the tablet, there were a few more things he wanted to talk about before they moved on, or got distracted by kissing, “So ice is a maybe? I was thinking that’d be a flat out no.”

“I have a thing for your alter ego.” Daken said it plainly and directly. There was no need to talk around it.

“You like the Iceman look?” Bobby blushed a little and chuckled, “I always figured I looked ‘cool’ but not … not attractive, just, you know, like ice.”

“The way light fractures off the ice, the change in your eye color and the general shape - it’s probably the artistic side of me who is really into it but does it matter _why_ I like it as long as it’s not a questionable reason?”

“Or it matters in a way that makes me feel really good and flattered? There’s that too right?”

That made Daken smile, “I have about twenty pages in my sketchbook dedicated to your ice-form.”

“You have twenty pages dedicated to …” Bobby blinked several times and then dove at Daken. The tablet ended up somewhere, but he wasn’t all that worried about in the moment. What he cared about was kissing Daken. 

They ended up a tangled mess of limbs and blanket. Daken didn’t mind, kissing was good and Bobby being happy and flattered was even better.

“I love you.” Bobby moaned as they pressed together, “Love the way you see me, love how you make me feel, love how you make me want to be better.”

“Ditto.” Daken smiled up at his lover and pushing his hands into that thick hair, “I got more pages than I care to count that are filled with just your normal self.”

“Maybe you’ll share them with me sometime.” Bobby ran his nose down the side of Daken’s cheek and made a very happy sound, “Maybe sometime I’ll try to sculpt you from ice, or just … make some silly things to entertain you.”

“You are free to look through my sketches. Just be aware that I _do_ use art as a way of coping so not everything is fun in there.”

Bobby nodded, “Maybe we’ll look at it together.” His lips moved over Daken’s cheeks and jaw, “Maybe for ice we can start really small and careful, and I’ll have an electric blanket and be able to warm you up right away.”

“I like that idea.” Smiling softly he kissed Bobby’s cheek and then said, “You know, I’m glad you are not really interested in trying out subbing because I make the worst of Doms.”

“I just … I don’t think I could relax, even for you Hiro.” Bobby shook his head, “I doubt you make that bad a Dom, but I have a feeling that you make an incredible sub when properly pampered and doted on.”

“I like being pampered by you. It makes me feel special.”

“You are special.” Bobby stroked the side of Daken’s head and smiled, “To me and in general. Speaking of pampered, think I’m gonna have an ice golem or two take care of the dishes, and take the pies out of the oven, while I do something nice for you.”

“What are you going to do hm?” Daken arched a brow, curious now.

Bobby grabbed a pillow from the sofa and settled himself down on the floor. Two golems materialized and picked up the dishes while Bobby rubbed his hands over Daken’s thighs suggestively, “I’m going to rub my precious lover’s feet while he relaxes after all the grueling labor of list and lunch making.”

“It’s you who slaved in the kitchen all morning and made delicious little treats.” He chuckled softly but didn’t try to stop Bobby, instead he leaned back and tried to relax. “Admit it, you are just eager to get your hands all over me.”

“You remember when I said I was more seduced than normal? Clearly I can’t wait to touch you, any part of you.” Bobby grasped Daken’s foot with both his hands and did his best to approximate the best parts of the foot rubs he’d received in his life. They hadn’t been plentiful, but there had been enough for him to make a valiant effort.

“Mmh, that’s nice.” Daken sighed heavily and in a content, relaxed manner. “I like having your hands on me. Any part of me.”

“This works out for both of us then.” The light chuckle that accompanied those words was cut off as Bobby leaned forward to kiss Daken’s knee. “There’s also this incredible view from where I’m sitting.”

“Oh? Do you like my classy outfit of nothing but shorts?”

“Yes, I do. I like seeing so much of your tattoo, and the shape of you in general. You’re -” Bobby blushed and tried to find words as the golem’s did the dishes and his hands tried to relieve tension in Daken’s foot, “- awe inspiringly lovely.”

“It shouldn’t be impossible to find someone who can give me a tattoo that lasts while we’re here in LA.” Daken made a thoughtful sound and traced the inside of his own thigh, “Maybe right there - where it would be mostly you who’d see it.”

“You’re a tease Kitten.” Bobby switched feet and kissed near Daken’s fingers, thinking about what Daken might get, how that would look, and how much he would stare every time Daken got undressed. The thrill that ran through him surprised Bobby. _You’d think after Vegas I’d be satisfied …_

“White ink would look good against my skin tone … maybe a little artful trail of snowflakes …”

“You are trying to kill me.” Bobby moaned against the inside of Daken’s knee, “I don’t know what’s hotter, that placement and snowflakes, or the fact that you want _my_ signature on your skin. Fuck.”

“Tattooing your name across my ass seems a bit over the top, so I figured this makes sense.” Daken was grinning, teasing Bobby clearly pleased him.

“You are too classy to even consider that!” Bobby said or would have said if not for laughing and grinning. The words mostly made it out, were mostly understandable. He took a moment to gather himself before continuing, “Seriously, you’re going to do me in. Not sure I was made to be this happy and this turned on at once.”

“Property of Robert Louis Drake.” He smiled innocently, “Mmh, does have a nice ring to it.”

“No, you know I _never_ go by Robert. Come on, you seriously know that now!” Bobby let go of Daken’s foot and sat up on his knees to get his hands on Daken’s shoulders, “Never!”

“It’s your legal name though, Snowflake.” Daken smirked, “Maybe _Property of Iceman_ is better?”

“Not property!” Bobby pouted and looked stern at once, “Iceman’s most dearly beloved sweetheart!”

“But I _want_ to belong to you.” Pulling Bobby up into a kiss Daken made a happy, needy sound.

There were no arguments against that kiss, only answers. Bobby moaned loudly and pressed up close. Daken's legs locked about his waist as Bobby's hands pulled forward on Daken's hips. They needed to be touching, kissing, and nothing else mattered, not in that moment.

Daken wasn’t sure how but they ended horizontal once more and his hands slid down into Bobby’s pants to grab that round, firm ass. No one had ever made out on this couch before and somehow that thought drew a chuckle from him.

“Didn’t even say it.” Bobby moaned against Daken’s throat as he pushed back against those warm hands, “Can’t laugh if I didn’t even say it!”

“I have no idea what you’re referring to but I was chuckling over the fact that we are christening my couch - or about to.”

That made Bobby’s face turn red. “Just really corny one liners.” Bobby bit Daken’s throat and made a happy sound, hoping to distract him, “Your couch’s got no idea what it’s in for!”

“I like your corny one liners, they make me smile but I’d rather you come up to kiss me again and then maybe …” Daken trailed off.

“Kiss first.” Bobby smiled and kissed Daken several times. Each was a little longer, a little deeper, but none of them got out of hand. The way Daken’s words had petered off was a clear sign to Bobby that he needed to pay attention and be mindful. “Mmm maybe?”

“Now you’re putting me on the spot.” There was color in Daken’s cheeks and he was looked rather embarrassed even though he was trying to hide that.

“Would it help if I guessed?” There was a smile on Bobby’s face and a gentleness in his touch. He nuzzled against Daken’s cheek, drawing lazy lines with his nose. “Maybe you wanna keep making out on the couch?”

“Yes, yes definitely a yes on that.” Daken did chuckle then and relaxed a little. Bobby was good at coaxing him away from anxiety. It was part of why he felt so safe around him.

“Good, I wanna keep making out too.” Bobby nodded and kissed Daken’s chin. “Do you want me to keep pampering you?” When Daken nodded and kept blushing Bobby smiled and rolled his hips against Daken with intent. The look that came over that gorgeous face made Bobby ache with want. “Do you want me to blow you?”

Somehow being asked to just confirm or deny was a lot easier than trying to sort out how to ask someone he loved without it sounding mechanical. Daken wasn’t used to expressing real desire and every way he could think of asking sounded incredibly fake and dishonest to him. This was easier. “Yes, _if_ you want to I’d like to try.”

The sweet way Daken answered, how he was almost unsure of his words, but his hands were steady, it did things to Bobby. His answer was warm and earnest, “I would love to try.” Bobby kissed Daken on the lips one more time and then started to kiss his way down. He didn’t go overly slow, like in some romance novel. He moved with purpose and wiggled about, “Think maybe you wanna sit up?”

Moving back a little Daken licked his lips as he settled comfortably and looked down on Bobby. There was a little voice in the back of his head telling him he had done nothing to _earn_ pleasure and that this wasn’t right but Daken stubbornly pretended it wasn’t there. He didn’t have to earn anything. Bobby _wanted_ to make him feel good.

“Lift up.” Bobby pulled on Daken’s tiny little undies and set them aside while never looking away from Daken. It felt nearly impossible to look anywhere else. Daken was nude, hard, and incredibly beautiful. “Here bring your hips forward for me. Yeah, that’s, God you are gorgeous Hiro!” Bobby looked up into those grey blue eyes and smiled. “If you need a break, or want to talk to me just tap my shoulder twice okay?”

Daken nodded, breathless and wordless. Bobby was looking at him in a way that words could not describe and the entire situation was quite surreal. It would not have surprised him if he woke up now and found himself in bed with none of this morning ever actually having happened. “Okay.”

“You’re so good Hiro.” Bobby wet his lips and then leaned in to nuzzled against that big, pretty dick. Daken was not cut but the head was already peeking out, and colored a lovely deep red. Bobby kissed along the shaft, and moaned. Daken ran hot, very hot, and with all the blood focused here it was extremely obvious. It was a little detail, but one that Bobby found incredibly arousing. He ached in his chest and his groin, wanting so much to make Daken feel incredibly good.

There was no way to tell which had him throw his head back and close his eyes with a moan – the soft lips against his shaft, or the praise. It was probably both but the praise did things to other parts of Daken than just his cock. Praise was something he craved and Bobby was ridiculously good at understanding that and using it to make him forget all about the nervousness and just focus on how _good_ this felt. “Fuck ...” It was a breathless whisper followed by fingers carding through these lovely curls on top of Bobby’s head.

_Reduced to one syllable curses … you’re doing alright Drake._ Bobby took hold of Daken’s cock around the 

base and moaned softly, “Like silk, and the way you fill my hand, so good.” Bobby looked up at Daken one more time, “You are perfect, just like this.” Then he looked back down and wrapped his lips around the head of Daken’s cock because Bobby Drake never did anything by halves or slowly. 

His fingers flexed but he didn’t grab onto Bobby’s hair, fully aware that he was physically stronger and that Bobby would not be able to pull back if he held on. That was about the only rational thought in his mind though because the rest of him was reduced to breathy moans.

It wasn’t the first time Bobby had given oral sex. It _was_ the first time he’d put his mouth around a cock. It wasn’t the first time he’d made someone speachless. It _was_ the first time the person he’d made speechless was someone he loved unreservedly. There was a saltiness in his mouth which he knew to be precum, and he liked how it tasted. His own cock ached as he pressed his tongue up against the underside of Daken’s, moaning as he began to move his head. 

_ < Yes, like – fuck, like that! > _Daken moaned, hands pulling away to not give into that urge to grab hold of Bobby, instead finding purchase on the couch. It was only when Bobby glanced up that he realized he’d switched into Japanese and then there was a half laugh, half moan. “Shit, you’re making me _laugh_ while getting head – not fair!”

If Bobby could have spoken and kept his lips around Daken he would have had a wonderful comeback. As it was the mirth danced in his glacial blue eyes as he moaned loudly around Daken’s cock. His hand started to pump in time with his head, which was speeding up a bit. It wasn’t ‘easy’ but it wasn’t as though Bobby hadn’t tried blowing a silicone dildo or four. He knew how far he could take that gorgeous dick before it would cause him trouble, and Bobby was being mindful of that. As much as he normally liked to show off and boast of all his abilities, this was no time to bluff. Daken was too important for that. So Bobby moaned earnestly as he found a pace he could keep up, his free hand grasping at one hard pec.

The thing that had worried Daken most was Bobby being a fool and trying too hard, hurting himself in the process. It seemed that was a worry he didn’t need to have because there weren’t any attempts at deep throating and Bobby seemed pretty confident in how much was too much. It meant that Daken felt himself relax further while also tensing in other ways from how close he was. “Bobby -” He gasped and closed his eyes again. That was the other thing he was worried about, being unable to let go without some verbal encouragement.

The way Daken moaned his name, so breathy, so needy, it almost made him do something stupid. Somehow he managed to control himself. It was easy to tell Daken was close, and it made him wish for some sort of friction between his legs, but he kept his free hand on Daken’s chest, feeling his heartbeat.

Their eyes met and Daken forgot to breath and then it just happened. He was coming and gripping Bobby’s shoulders and full body shivering. Daken briefly recalled that he should have warned Bobby but he hadn’t actually expected it to happen, still, if he ever remembered how words worked, he’d apologize.

This was the part one couldn’t practice, and of course the part that went less than perfectly. Bobby swallowed, and had just enough time to think how hot it was that Daken was making _that_ face and holding onto him and shuddering like that, when he had to pull back because there was _more_ cum. Bobby felt it dribble down his chin as he swallowed greedily and licked at that throbbing, purpled cock, “Good, yes, fuck, that’s so good, you, Hiro, babe, so good.”

With a gasp he sank back, boneless and sated in a way that wasn’t something he had experienced in ages. Maybe ever. It was hard to deny that there were times when he’d been so high on the pain and fake praise that he felt similar to this with Romulus but the difference was that Daken knew he wouldn’t wake up feeling self loathing and disgusted. “Sorry.” He said it between pants for air and then added, “Come here.”

Bobby grinned with pride as he stood up. The sloppy way Daken motioned at his pants made him blush with pleasure, “Yeah, I’ll take’em off for you Kitten.” Bobby licked his lips as his lounge pants hit the floor. He could feel his cock moving in front of him with each little action as he got himself settled, straddling Daken’s lap, his arms around his shoulders, “Hi handsome.”

“Hi.” Daken smiled as he reached between them and took hold of that gorgeous cock, “You broke my brain.”

“Good.” Bobby leaned down and kissed Daken with a soft moan, "You need a brain break.” As Daken’s hand went around his cock Bobby wet his lips and moaned louder. “Oh babe, fuck, feels so good!” His hips rolled with the slow, lazy way Daken was jerking him off. Their foreheads pressed together and Bobby nodded, “Yes.”

“You made me _laugh_ while having sex.” Daken said it with wonder and amusement. His hand kept moving, meeting Bobby's own motions.

“Mmm - you were speaking Japanese, understood _‘hai’_ , so I knew we were okay.” There would have been a smile on his face, as Bobby was flattered and proud, but Daken’s hot hand around his aching cock felt so good that all Bobby could manage was desperation and desire. “So good, Hiro, babe, so good!”

“You gonna come for me? Come on Snowflake, let go.” Nipping at Bobby's throat he twisted his hand at the upstroke for extra stimulation.

There was never any question about it. Bobby was done in the moment Daken looked at him with those sated bedroom eyes. The teasing dirty talk with the twist made Bobby gasp, he couldn’t even nod. All he managed was a long moan as his thighs shuddered and his mind went slow. Everything felt warm, good, and wonderful. Daken was holding him, and he was floating, and there was nothing wrong, and everything, everything was perfect. 

Bobby was mumbling sweet nonsense and Daken just smiled as he lazily cleaned his hand with the discarded pair of underwear. It was one in the morning and he was going to lie down on the couch now to cuddle and nap with the love of his life. For once things were completely good.

“To each other.” Those words Bobby managed clearly as Daken pulled him down back into the endless comfort of that blue velvet blanket. Daken was smiling, and Bobby knew it was going to last. At least for a little while they’d found some peace, some happiness, and nothing was going to change that, nothing was going to take it away from them. They’d managed to make it here, across the country, through tense sleepless nights, the not at all vague shadows of the past, and Las Vegas, they had made it here, to this place, to this moment in time, and no matter what came next Bobby was going to cherish it, forever. “We belong to each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** Hello readers! Nausi here. It’s been a hot minute since we posted. This chapter is sort of an amalgam of a few things. I think it reads better than what we had before, but worry not fair readers, you will get to see what Daken’s sweet Venice Beach apartment looks like. With Finn not being from the USA, and me having never been down into Cali this chapter took a lot of research, as do other chapters in this arc. The entire road trip was a very different sort of writing, but it did not pose quite the same problem for us as this; There are no high rises in LA. Not really. I used google maps and reached out to a great many people to find where we thought Daken would live if not taking up residence in a mansion of some sort. Venice Beach was what we settled on, near the ocean, apartment buildings over three stories sometimes, and hip. 
> 
> As for what has happened in Vegas? Well, whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Or in other words, you’ll find out later.
> 
> Let us know what you thought of this indulgent chapter. If you’re not an Ao3 commenter for whatever reason you can always find myself and Finn on tumblr, linked above. Tumblr comments are a good way to get ahold of us. You can also find my discord information there. Thank you so much for reading, I’m off to make coffee!
> 
> \------
> 
> [Link](https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1Fh8rTMg2eIBxhMu7fCO8SUe-2LE5gOamDmNCLypYwfA/edit?usp=sharing) to a look at Daken's apartment. Made in the Sims4 because that is the medium Finn is the most experienced with as far as design goes. If I had to redo this, I would have picked a mansion as Nausi explained but at the time I started to build, my impression was that America is 99% skyscrapers.


	59. Chapter 59

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daken shows Bobby a glimpse of his world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Additional Tags:** Implied/Referenced Sexual Themes, Romance, Confessions, Spa Day, Open Ending
> 
>  
> 
> **IMPORTANT!**
> 
>  
> 
> So much has changed since we started this. I haven’t heard from Finn in a while. After their blog got deleted and it was clear that the people who had harassed them were going to continue forward as if nothing had changed they just didn’t show up. I don’t know for sure what happened, or if Finn will show back up. At some point I may try to write more TDYK. There was more planned but for now I’ll end it on a high note. There’s hope. There’s always hope.

**Tuesday**

Waking up on the couch, naked, tangled up with Bobby sleeping on his chest and a blanket wrapped around them was possibly the best way he had ever woken up. For a good twenty minutes Daken just quietly watched Bobby sleep and enjoyed the laziness of the moment. Then he realized he needed to use the bathroom urgently. “Hey, Snowflake … wake up for me. Or you’ll get a taste of watersports without your explicit will and consent.”

It wasn’t what Daken said that got Bobby moving, it was the tone, and the fact that he had kept talking. Bobby made a soft sound as he pushed up, and then blushed deeply seeing Daken’s hair all tousled, his words starting to hit home, “Sure hope we didn’t break either of the tablets, uh … here … I think I drooled on your chest, I’m sorry.”

“I will live.” Daken chuckled and then pushed up, “I’m going to take a quick shower too, maybe you should get dressed.”

“Dressed? I thought we were going to make out, and I was going to bake, and we were staying in.” Bobby watched as Daken stood up, and admired how the floral tattoo flowed about Daken’s hip. 

“My maid will come by in …” He glanced at the clock on the wall, “About twenty minutes. I mean, if you want to show off to the middle aged lady … be my guest.”

That had Bobby wrapping the blanket around himself more tightly. “No, no, and also that’s not enough time for me to make cookies for her!” With a sigh he stood up and picked up their discarded clothes, all two articles. “Gotta get dressed.”

“Good boy.” Daken chuckled while heading into the bathroom to make himself more or less presentable.

* * *

Bobby could have showered rather than just cleansing himself with a quick shift to ice and back, thirty or more minutes later and the maid had not yet appeared. However, he was unconcerned with that at the moment, as his first batch of cookies was in the oven. There hadn’t been any chocolate chips, but there had been several bars of expensive looking chocolate in the pantry which Bobby had chopped up. The chunks would work just as well, and the darker chocolate would pair nicely with the soft, sweet cookie dough. Daken was seated off to the side, with a sketch pad, watching the whole affair. It made Bobby a little self conscious, but he knew he wasn’t an overly sloppy or messy cook. Any time he’d wanted to be in the kitchen with his mother clean up had always been on him. In the mansion, growing up with Scott and the others he’d been the youngest, and often ended up pulling dish duty. It hadn’t really bothered him, at least, not nearly as much as he’d complained it did. “Mmm, this first batch is almost ready to come out.” 

“It smells like heaven.” Daken licked his lips as he switched colors and glanced at Bobby, “Almost as good as you.”

Bobby pulled on the fancy looking oven mitts and made sure he had the cooling rack ready, as well as the next batch of cookies ready to go in. All was as it should be, so he opened the oven and pulled out the big, soft, golden brown chocolate chip cookies. “You’re just trying to make me blush now.”

“I always appreciate it when you blush for me but no, I’m serious. You smell _divine._ ” Daken smiled brightly and then turned his head, “Oh, Rosa is here.” The sound of the lock turning had alerted him and only Laura and his maid had keys.

“Oh, smells like cookies! Is there a bu-ler here makin’ cookies?”

“I thought you said your maid was a middle aged woman.” Bobby put the second batch in the oven, pulled off the mitts, and stood up straight. The voice he’d heard was that lovely falsetto that all young children tended towards before their voices deepened with age. 

“That’s her kid.” Little footsteps came running up the stairs and Daken turned to greet the small pre-school boy with a smile. “Hey there kiddo.”

“Da-ken!” The boy grinned and ran over to be picked up and hugged. “Hello, hello, welcome home!”

 _My heart is going to break_. Bobby watched as Daken hugged the little boy. It was incredibly sweet and pure and reminded him of how good Daken was with Gabby. _He just loves kids._ Bobby walked over a little closer and straightened the apron he was wearing as he waited to be seen. When the boy’s big brown eyes locked on him Bobby smiled, “Hi there.”

The kid blinked, frowned and then asked Daken, “Friend or work?”

“Friend.” Daken smiled and nodded.

“Friend good!” Jumping down he walked over to the friend and raised his arms, “Hello, I’m David. Who you?”

Raised arms meant, _hug me and pick me up_ , Bobby didn’t see the mother yet but he figured the kid knew what was allowed in general terms and so picked him right up. “I’m Bobby. It’s nice to meet you David. Habla español?”

 _< Yes! Oh I like you!  > _David grinned and hugged Daken’s friend because if Daken had a friend, then that was a good person!

“Ah, I see my little boy has already made friends with your guest.” Rosa smiled as she walked up the stairs. “You did not tell me you were coming, dear.”

“Rosa.” He stood and greeted her with a kiss on the cheek, “Forgive me, you know I’m terrible at being mindful of coming and going.”

 _< I like you too.  >_ Bobby gave the boy a squeeze and then set him down. “It’s good to meet you.” Bobby held out his hand to her after the adorable greeting between herself and Daken had taken place, “I’m Bobby Drake and I made you cookies.”

“I’m Rosa and cookies are the best way to say hello to people. You’re a clever young man but I would expect nothing less from a _friend_ of Daken.”

Bobby blushed darkly and turned around to see to the cookies. “They need to cool a moment.” Eager to get a little space between himself and the embarassment Bobby went back into the kitchen and started transferring them from the pan to the cooling rack. “I hope we won’t be in your way.”

“Don’t worry about that, dear.” Rosa smiled and then gestured, “Come along David, we have a lot of work to do.”

“Okaaaaay!” David chuckled and walked after his Momma but not without saying, “I like cookies.”

With an almost pained expression Bobby looked over at Daken and mouthed the words, _“How is he so cute?”_

“I know, right? I love that kid.” Daken grinned and then pulled Bobby close for a kiss, suddenly feeling like they weren’t touching enough.

The kiss was met with enthusiasm and a deep humming moan from Bobby. His arms wrapped about Daken’s waist and he felt instantly more confident and more at peace. “Mmm, love you.”

“Love you too.” Smiling brightly he kissed Bobby again and then whispered, “Can’t make out with a kid around but that’s why you need to keep baking instead.”

“Hey, when did I get dubbed ‘Friend’?” Bobby gave Daken a serious look as he started to relax his hold a bit, “We’re more than that, you know, really, considering recent events especially.”

“I only have two categories of people I interact with,” He smiled, “Friends and work. Laura and Gabby are also known as friends to him because he likes everything to be simple.”

“Fair, and accepted.” Before letting go of Daken Bobby kissed the palm of both his lover’s hands and then went back into the kitchen. There were dishes he could wash, and bread dough to peak at. “I take it she’s been your maid for a while?”

“Yes, since coming back from the dead. Well, okay about three months after that. First I had to deal with being blue colored and completely fucking nuts.”

“Priorities.” Bobby nodded and smiled. “Oh this bread is going to be really good. The wild yeast in this part of California is incredible.” He laid the towel back over the bowl and then got a little plate and put a few cookies on it. “Here, they’re cool enough now.”

Picking up a cookie he sniffed it and then took a bite. The sound he made as he chewed was downright sexual. “Mmh God, I’d ask you to marry me but …”

“Ahaha!” Bobby grinned and picked up one of the cookies himself. “Mmm, yeah, I’d marry me. These are good, soft, moist, sweet with that nice bitter kick from the chocolate. Never made these with this grade of chocolate before.”

“I love my chocolate to be bitter and rich.” Daken shrugged and kept nibbling on the cookie while eyeing Bobby.

“You aren’t allowed to _look_ at me like that right now!” Bobby nudged Daken. “I can feel your eyes when you do that.”

“I’m doing nothing! Nothing at all.” Grinning he looked away and returned to the sketch of Bobby baking, a captured moment of when he had licked batter from the spoon.

“You be careful or I’ll look at _you_ like that.” Bobby shook his finger at Daken before he checked the fridge to be sure he had what he wanted for dinner that night. _Don’t think we need to go shopping._

Daken just grinned and said nothing. This was such an odd, welcome thing - being ‘home’ with the love of his life, doing something as mundane as teasing each other while Bobby baked delicious treats. If anyone had told him last year that this would happen, he wouldn’t even have been capable of attempting to believe it. _I’ve come a long way._

* * *

**Wednesday**

Now that they had made it to LA their large SUV was no longer the best ride available to them. The seats were still climate controlled in the little Acura NSX, and it was a very sweet ride. A nicer car than Bobby would ever bother with, fully customized and outfitted to all of Daken’s prolictivities. It got them from the condo in Venice beach to the laurel fig tree lined streets of Beverly Hills. The half hour drive had felt like nothing, but Bobby had fallen asleep. They hadn’t made it to bed until late last night between dinner, touching, drawing, talking, baking, and kissing. There had also been the hour long facetime call with Zach and Yuki which Gabby had crashed to gossip with them about Hisako. Both youths had been sad Quentin was still not at the school and had needed reassuring that they were indeed all coming home. 

“Mmm.” Bobby looked around himself, “We’re here?” He looked out at the brick buildings and had another moment of wonder. It always took him weeks to get used to LA. The buildings were so short, and not nearly so squished together as in New York. “What are we doing? It’s … almost ten and we’re up here in snob’s ville.” 

“You are dating a snob.” Daken grinned, got out of the car and held open the door for Bobby, “Come on Snowflake, it’s Spa Day.” It was adorable how sleepy and confused Bobby looked. Almost too cute to put through all the things Daken had planned. Almost.

“Spa day?” Those words seemed strange and foreign to Bobby. He rubbed a hand over his face and wondered if he looked okay. He hoped he’d put his shirt on right side out since it was too late to fix it now. Slow and sleepy as his mind still was Bobby noted the bakery next to where they were going, Chaumont, and wondered if they would stop there on their way out. The word ‘Tomoko’ was printed on the glass near the door Daken was headed to. “This is really happening?”

“Yes Snowflake, this is really happening.” With a grin he opened the door, let Bobby in first and then followed. They were going to be having a wonderful morning and early noon with being pampered in his favorite Spa and then, later, he would _finally_ do something that had been a long time coming.

* * *

They had both gotten a massage and were just relaxing in the plush seats now, beauty masks on, waiting for the waxing, but Bobby looked adorably worried. “It’s not half as bad as you think. Really.”

“I get that. I’ve likely had worse, you know, with the whole superhero thing.” Bobby sighed and sipped from the fragrant tea. “I’m just nervous because I don’t know what’s expected of me, at least, I think that’s what this is about.”

“All you have to do is relax and enjoy the pampering. These people get paid generously for what they are doing so all you have to do is enjoy it.”

Bobby sighed, “You say that but I still feel out of place.” He rubbed a hand over his chest where the soft robe left it bare. “I don’t even have that much body hair. Do you really think I need waxing?”

“It’s not about the amount of hair. I want you to experience that incredible feeling of being completely smooth all over.”

Whatever Bobby might have said was swallowed up as the door opened and the staff came in. Bobby wasn’t sure he caught anyone’s name. He knew that he was smiled at, and that the ladies were kind, but mostly he was thinking about what Daken had said about being smooth. He knew his face felt nice right after a good close shave, and he wondered what it would feel like to experience that everywhere.

“Is there anything you would like me to leave?” The attendant asked with a smile.

“Uh … the bush … I don’t want a brazilian.” _Is that even what it’s called for men?_ The woman just smiled at him as he got onto the work matt. He was helped out of his robe after a sheet was placed over his hips. 

“Good life choice there.” Daken would have said something when it came to that but now he didn’t have to sound like an overly controlling asshole and he was quite thankful for that.

Bobby smiled at Daken and almost spoke but the very efficient lady warning him that he was about to feel something very warm on his chest cut him short. Bobby breathed in and swallowed,bracing himself. It was a sensation, that was for sure. A strip of what looked to be paper was pressed over the still warm wax as she checked in with him, “Yeah, I’m good, no problem, just some hot wax on my chest …”

“Take a deep breath.” She waited for him to start and only then said, “Breath out, good.”

When the paper and wax was pulled away Bobby made a soft but sharp sound. It had hurt, burned even, but not in a way he couldn’t take. It was a new sensation, that was all. “Whew! Okay I’m awake now!”

Daken could not help himself, he laughed as another strip was pulled from his own skin without him doing so much as blink. “You are cute.”

“Well it hurts!” Bobby quickly turned to the attendant and shook his head, “You’re great, I’m just a wimp, my first time and all.”

“I quite enjoy the sensation.” Daken shrugged and made eyes at Bobby.

That caught his attention, even as more hot wax was applied to him, “Is it the heat? Or just the sharp shock of it being ripped off?”

“Both? I think both.” The attendants exchanged a look and Daken was sure they would have chuckled if they were any less professional.

“Hm - yoich!” Bobby rolled his eyes back and then closed them. The best thing he could do right then was keep his mouth shut. _Just think, after this, french pastries._

* * *

It was a nice place, but not quite so nice that Bobby felt uncomfortable in it. They sat down inside because the noise outside was already a bit much for Bobby, let alone Daken’s ears. Chaumont was indeed a French bakery, but several of the items on the lunch menu had a California twist. Like the spicy oven baked eggs which had just been placed down in front of him. It was hard to tell if he should start with those or his smoked salmon sandwich. His ‘Think Pink’ smoothie reminded him of Quentin, which was why he pulled out his phone before taking a single sip or bite and snapped a photo, “You know, because it’s pink. Quen’ll get a kick out of it.”

“There is a naughty joke to be made there which I will only refrain from because he is my brother’s date and you are _my_ date.” Daken smirked as he picked up his fork and set into the salad he had ordered alongside his ‘Wild Salmon bowl’.

“You have to be nice to me, you paid people to peel me like a hard boiled egg, after you’d paid people to boil me, and rub me like a cut of meat.” Bobby stuck out his tongue, looking very boyish despite his strong jaw. 

“Mmh, that sounds to me like you should be very thankful and delighted.” There was a little smirk on his lips as he made eyes across the table.

Despite his words Bobby _was_ feeling very good, loose, and sort of lazy. He was also hungry, and thirsty. Along with his smoothy he had a glass of water that he’d already drained twice. “The bath’s were my favorite part. If we make it to Japan that’s something I want to do with you, real Japanese hot springs.”

“There is nothing like it, that’s true.” Daken nodded and sipped from his own green smoothie. This place was where he always went after using the spa. It was the perfect combination of being pampered and treating himself to a delicious meal.

Bobby had started to eat but nearly choked as he checked his phone. “Wow. Just wow.”

Daken arched a brow and asked, “What, did he make the naughty joke I didn’t make?”

All Bobby could do was turn the phone so Daken could see the picture. Jimmy was out in the ocean up to his knees fishing. The sun was coming down over the top of him, and he was wearing nothing but bright pink shorts that were clearly too small for him. 

“Mmh, I see that my little brother is getting himself a nice tan while on vacation.” Daken managed to sound like he wasn’t holding in a laugh.

“Oh come on.” Bobby put his phone down and took a drink of water to soothe his throat. “He said, ‘My pink dinner’. That … Quen is trying to kill me!”

“Is it the joke, are you just _that_ gay or do you find Jimmy attractive?”

“Both? How can someone not related to him and into men _not_ see that Jimmy’s a looker? Not my personal cup of tea, but still a very nice looking man.”

“I’m related to him and _still_ know that he is an attractive young man.” Daken cocked his head and then smirked, “You know, once upon a time, I was blonde. Briefly.”

“You were?” Bobby blinked a few times and stared at Daken owl eyed. “Bleach blond?”

“Oh heavens no. More of a medium blonde, something that _almost_ looked natural but obviously wasn’t.”

That made Bobby think for a moment. He cocked his head and gazed at Daken intently as he tried to picture it. “With your eyes … that’d be … well I wouldn’t kick you out of bed for eating crackers no matter what your hair color was.”

That made him laugh and then say casually, “Maybe I should try pink. You seem to like that.”

“What? Hey!” Bobby colored deeply and shook his head. “Quen’s my friend, he’s a good looking person but I’ve never been interested in him that way or even flirted with him.”

“It’s cute when you get all embarrassed and huffy.” Daken smiled and reached across the table for Bobby’s hand before setting back into his food.

The bruised ego, the worry, it all washed away when Daken reached over for him. Bobby kissed his lover’s knuckles and squeezed his hand before letting go to set back into his own food. It was several ‘huffy’ and lazy moments later before Bobby said anything else, “We’ll see how cute you think I am when we get home Kitten.” Their eyes met and Bobby felt a thrill roll through him at the way Daken blushed. _That’s my sweetheart._

* * *

Lunch had just about settled and digested when Akihiro parked in front of a string of single story shops. They were in Santa Monica now, with what looked like birch trees lining the streets, which was not _close_ to where they had been, but it wasn’t really far. Especially not when there was good conversation and climate controlled seats. They’d each turned them on and grinned, not to take off any chill, but to extend the sweet pleasure from their massage. 

Bobby had just unbuckled himself when Daken opened his door, “Are you going to open the car door for me every time?” 

Daken smiled brightly, bowed and gestured, “Yes, I will open your door for you every time because I _can_. You are my lover and I want to be appreciative of you.”

“What if I want to open doors for you?” Bobby let Daken help him out of the car as he spoke. There was a soft bit of color on his cheeks, and he didn’t care who saw it. 

Closing the car door he took hold of Bobby’s waist and pushed him against the car as their lips met. There was a giggle from somewhere and Daken was pretty sure someone was snapping a picture or two, but he didn’t care.

It was not the first time Bobby had been pushed against a car on this trip. He wasn’t sure if it would be the last either. With an enthusiastic moan Bobby kissed back, fingers curled in Daken’s long silky hair. _If they want a few pictures let’s give them something picture worthy!_

More click sounds surrounded them and Daken heard someone call them disgusting which he rewarded by flipping the finger in that general direction. As they parted he smirked at Bobby and then took his hand, “Think we offended a few people _and_ made some others happy.”

“Sounds like we’re having a good day.” Bobby grinned from ear to ear as they made their way into the shop. Bellacures, the door read, and it was quickly clear to Bobby that this was a nail salon. He had never in all his life been to a nail salon. He’d gone to get his hair colored at a few places that did hair and nails, but never had he walked into a place that specialized. 

The expression on Bobby’s face made him smile, lean in and kiss his darling’s cheek. “It’s okay, first time I walked into one, I felt weird too. You mostly see ladies in this place but hey, gender norms are for straight idiots.”

“Welcome to Bellacures.” A dark haired woman behind the counter waved at them. “It’s so good to see you Daken.”

Daken smiled brightly, took the woman’s hand which she offered with a smile, and kissed the back of it. _< It is good to be back. You look lovely today dear.  >_

 _< Your friend is very cute, he looks confused.  >_ With a smiled she looked at the curly haired one as he took a nail menu. “My name is Alice, I’ll be your technician, and I can answer any questions you have.”

Bobby frowned and looked down at the laminated glossy color sheet. It was overwhelming, there were words like ‘sun’ and ‘gel’ and ‘acrylic’ along the top, and pictures of long nails with intense designs. It put a frown on his face, and a wrinkle between his brows, “I don’t know … you make it look really good, colored nails and all that, but I can’t see it being on brand for me, I can’t pull this off.”

Daken sighed, gave Bobby a soft smile, and then said casually, _< He'll have clear with subtle french tips, keep it short. It's his first time, we’ll graduate him to color some other time.  >_

 _< Sure. Subtle is chic.  >_ She pushed one of the purple bits of fringe back out of her face as she continued to smile at the pretty pair.

“Look, now you’re just showing off, you know I don’t speak Japanese -” Bobby stopped because both of them, Daken and Alice, were _looking_ at him. 

“Vietnamese, Bobby honey.” Daken arched a brow and then realized that of course Bobby would guess it was Japanese. He was flustered, nervous and unfamiliar with the language.

Unlike the heat that had colored his cheeks outside the salon the color that rose up to Bobby’s face now was embarrassment and shame. “Oh … oh no. Of course … I didn’t mean … wow I’m a jerk. I’m sorry.”

 _< Your white boy is cute.  >_ Alice chuckled a little and then looked at him directly, “We were being a little rude, discussing you when you can’t understand right in front of you. I think Daken’s just nervous, he’s never brought a date along before.”

“I’m horrible like that.” Daken looked at Bobby with an apologetic expression, “Sorry Snowflake, I was just telling her to not go for the bright colors and keep it short.”

“I don’t need to do my best impersonation of a racist bigot just because I’m flustered.” Bobby rubbed a hand over his face and was surprised to see Alice still smiling. 

“Come over and sit down, Bobby right?” She was fixing the pillows on one of the big overstuffed chairs.

“Yeah, Bobby, that’s me.” Rather than continue to worry about what she was going to do to his nails Bobby sat down and didn’t even question it when Alice took his shoes off. 

“Daken, why don’t you sit down next to us. I’ll get all four feet soaking, and then you two can tell me all about your morning.” 

* * *

It was a completely different experience, the nail salon and the massage spa. Everything had been professional and calm at the spa, but Alice had laughed with them and asked them about their trip. She’d even managed to get them to talk about their wild night in Las Vegas. Bobby was still surprised that he hadn’t seen any videos show up online from it. There were other differences between the salon and the spa, like the fact that when he’d walked out of Tomoko’s there hadn’t been anything visibly different about him. Bobby had _felt_ different, but he looked just the same more or less. Walking out of Bellacure’s there was something different, something he couldn’t look away from.

“... my nails are shiny.” His voice was full of confused wonder as he spoke a full ten minutes into the car ride. 

Daken chuckled softly and nodded, “Yes they are and they will stay shiny for a while. It’s personally my favorite part about nail polish. I go to the salon because I like to keep myself clean, tidy and pampered but the nail polish? That’s just for how shiny it is.”

“It looks so … neat.” Bobby tapped the nails of one hand against the tops of the others and shook his head. “I’m glad she kept them short but … I think I like it. Still not sure what color I’d even get. Quen’s told me I lean on blue too much.”

“Sometimes you do but it’s not a _bad_ color for you. It just needs to match that wonderful shade of your eyes rather than the cooler tones of your ice-form. Human you has a skin color that doesn’t quite work with too cool blue tones.”

“Honestly you’re both lucky I haven’t just switched to wearing floral cat shirts and geek shirts.” Bobby shook his head and grinned. His hands felt soft, and his feet felt really good, he knew his toenails matched his fingernails, and that was a weirdly awesome feeling. 

“If that is the style you want, then you should go for it. I might roll my eyes but I want you comfortable in your own skin far more than I want you to appease my style.”

Bobby looked over at Daken and felt something in his chest do a weird sort of thing, “I know, but I like it when people take me seriously at least half the time. Also I don’t hate any of the clothes you’ve suggested or bought me, I just also think kittens are precious, and that some days are Zelda days.”

“Then we should get you some more kitten themed clothing.” Daken nodded and leaned over for a quick peck on the lips before focusing back on driving. “But you _do_ look irresistible in a suit.”

“When it’s properly fitted and not that horrible plaid hand-me-down from Scott we all passed around for years, sure.” Bobby chuckled and shook his head. It was three in the afternoon, all they’d done all day was pamper themselves, and it was honestly sort of awesome. 

* * *

Their next and final stop was his favorite hair salon. Daken loved this place for how simple and just down to earth it felt and how he didn’t have to argue with the hairdresser over maintaining a mohawk. Any high end place he had tried would just have him walk out ten minutes into arguing. This was also a bonus because Bobby would feel far more comfortable here than in any stupidly overpriced modern luxury place. “Here we are,” Holding the door open again he smiled, “Last stop for the day.”

“We’re back in Venice Beach, like we could walk home.” Bobby stood up and looked at the shop they were going to. It was nothing like the previous stops. This was a down home, independent and indie sort of place, much more his speed. The building was blue with a crazy mural outside. Bobby wasn’t sure if this made no sense for Daken or perfect sense. “Paper Scissors Rock, clever name.”

“It is.” Opening the door for Bobby he followed him inside and they were greeted right away by Marco, his favorite and very gay hairdresser.

“Oh! Daky! And look what you’ve brought me! A proper nerdly stud muffin. Look at these curls oh lawdy look!” Marco grinned and his highlight caught the overhead lights in a nearly life changing gleem.

Bobby stared. He was gay, he was out, he’d gone to gay bars, he’d been on grindr, but he’d yet to interact with someone who was this fabulous. _I will never be this amazing. Look at that mesh shirt, he has freckles on his tan chest, he’s amazing!_

“Marco, meet my darling Bobby. Bobby meet the most fabulous person on earth.” Daken grinned, clearly feeling at home and comfortable here in a way he didn’t quite manage in the other places despite making a good show of it.

“Bobby! What a perfect name for this little stud! You two are gorgeous but once I clean up your brows and tighten up the lines, mmm,” Marco kissed his finger tips, “Mwa! You’re both gonna glow baby glow!”

“Are you going to put highlighter on me?” Bobby wasn’t sure what he wanted the answer to be.

“No honey, I can tell you aren’t ready for the real glow up, but don’t you worry. Daky has got everything you need, and my personal cell number when the time’s right.” He smiled and looked between them, “Now who goes first?”

“Adorable boyfriends first. I’ll be contemplating what kind of highlight I want in the meantime. Feels like it’s time for some color in my life again.”

“Oh we’ll get you that shuz back in your life honey!” With a twirl and a giggle Marco took Bobby by the shoulders and lead him over to a chair. “Now tell me you wanna keep the length, please!”

“Well I do, I just … I think it needs a little help.” It was a strange experience. He felt totally at home here, all the stylists were happy, and the other customers seemed totally relaxed as well. Bobby liked how light hearted and flamboyant Marco was, not because it was over the top but because it was earnest. The guy was clearly being himself and living his best life. 

With a warm smile Daken settled down in one the waiting chairs in the corner and picked up a list of hair colors. Marco was going to take good care of his darling and there was nothing to worry about there. The day had gone considerably better than he had anticipated and so he was confident that the evening would go over perfectly too. 

After a wash, a trim, a hair styling tutorial, and several products later Marco and Bobby came to stand in front of Daken. “Look at your sweet stud muffin! No more frizz, just soft curls for days, and his brows look so good. Great bones, you have incredible taste Daky! Just incredible!”

“I like it, and I actually think I know how to replicate it so, that’s a first.” Bobby smiled at Marco, “Thank you.”

“Oh honey it’s nothing. Now, our queen is ready for her close up. Come come come!”

Daken couldn’t stop smiling as he settled on the chair, eyes on Bobby until he leaned his head back and said casually, “Give me a nice mix of dark purple and subtle blue, keep the top black so I can grow it out without worrying about it looking ridiculous.”

“A dark ombre! Oh honey yes!” To the sound of delighted clapping Marco went to gather his things.

Bobby watched and licked his lips. _I think I like this, the not superhero thing. I think I could get used to this, us, here, just being people._

* * *

It was late afternoon by the time they got back to their place and Daken was yawning as he unlocked the door for them. “I demand we nap on the couch again.” _After the last little surprise of course._

“It’s so late.” Bobby shrugged, “Guess we don’t have anywhere else to be though so …” He reached up and rubbed Daken’s back, “... suppose I’ve got no reason to say no.”

“We have an appointment tonight! Have I not mentioned that yet? Huh, must have skipped my mind …” Opening the door to their bedroom he smirked at the sight of a sleek, black box on the bed with a nice icy blue bow and Bobby’s name on it.

“An appointment? And there’s a big box here just for me?” Bobby looked at Daken and cocked his head, “You know it’s not my birthday right?” _What is it? What is he planning?_

“Open your present, Snowflake.” Smiling he kicked his shoes off and started changing out of the tight blue jeans.

“You’re being mysterious.” The words were out of his mouth as he reached for the bow. The box came open easily and then Bobby was staring at a gorgeous suit. The fabric was soft, buttery even, and Bobby had no idea what it could be. The blazer and slacks were a wonderful sort of grey that had an almost warm feeling to it without bouncing too far from actual grey. The vest was a dead ringer for the deepest hue of his own eyes. Bobby caught onto it right away, that deep, teal blue color right around his own iris. The pop of vivid color against the more respectable and solid grey put a grin on his face. Bobby let his hand run over the fine fabric of the black button up and licked his lips when he found the tie, it was the same color as the vest. “Akihiro this is … Where are you taking me?”

“We are going to the Los Angeles Theatre tonight to watch Wicked and then we’ll have a nice dinner together.” Daken smiled, picked up the second box and held it out to Bobby, a shoe box this time.

Bobby opened the box and blinked at the glacial teal blue color. It matched the vest and tie, and of course, his eyes. The shoes in shape looked just like what Bobby thought of when he imagined very formal shoes, they looked to be cut of just one piece with no details or decorative lines to obscure the pure shape of them. The word ‘oxford’ came to mind, and he had to ask himself if that wasn’t just shirts, if it was shoes too, but by any name the shoes weren’t just formal dress shoes, they were colorful, and would complete his formal but fun suit. Bobby blinked and then looked back at Daken, “You ordered this from the shop back in New York didn’t you? You set us up with pretty new suits, and took us around to make us both sharp and glam, and god you look so beautiful with your new hair and I think I might cry?”

“Don’t cry just yet.” Daken smiled brightly and then grabbed two black little jewelry boxes from the drawer of his nightstand and handed one to Bobby.

“We’re going to the jewelers tomorrow Hiro what is … oh god.” Bobby licked his lips and opened the first box, it was a gorgeous sakura blossom, pale baby’s breath pink chased with silver on a silver chain clearly meant to be worn about the wrist. Bobby swallowed and felt tears gathering in his eyes. He opened the second box and closed it right away. “Matching … matching bracelets.” Bobby shook his head and looked at Akihiro with tears rolling down his cheeks, “Kitten … oh god I love you.”

“I _know_.” Daken reached out, taking Bobby’s right hand and slide the bracelet in place with a bright smile, “I know you do and it’s the best feeling in the world.”

“You’re going to wear a snowflake, and mine matches your tattoo and …” Bobby pressed his lips together and shook his head, “Forever. Every day, every moment, every week, and year, and I need to take you to meet my parents because this feeling isn’t ever going away, and you keep doing things like this Aki.” Bobby reached out and put his hands on Akihiro’s cheeks, “You keep showing me that you mean it, that it’s just as real for you as it is for me, and that means it’s really, really real. We belong together, to each other, for forever!”

“Come here.” Gently he pulled Bobby into his arms and kissed on his face. “I love you and this is as real as real gets.”

“We’re gonna make out and then nap on the couch with our romance-is-great-fluffy-I-love-you bracelets and then we’re gonna go out, and look amazing, and hold hands, and it’s going to be amazing!” Bobby breathed out and nodded as Daken’s lips kissed over his tear slick cheeks. “Always.”

It was a promise that Daken for once in his life felt he could trust in. Romulus and Remus were out there, plotting and planning, a shadow on the wall and a hand around his throat but just for the moment, he didn’t care. Bobby and him would be okay. They would figure this out, they would find a way to rid the world of two Gods who had no place in it anymore. And then, maybe then he could work on healing further and figuring out how to make this work long term with both of them happy and content. 

Maybe for once things would be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I pieced this together out of things Finn and I had already written, and I’m the only one who has proofed it. Please forgive any typos.
> 
>  
> 
> ****
> 
> Nausi


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